GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 84
December 2009
Caption Competition
1. Paul Collingwood: Great news, Kev’s back.
Andrew Strauss: Kev who?
2. Graham Swann: You put your left foot in, your left foot out, you do the Oki Koki and you shake it all about
3. Andrew Strauss: We must be almost top of the ICC rankings by now?
Andy Flower: Don’t get your hopes up. Apparently even if we win the next sixteen tests straight we still won’t necessarily be top.
4. Andrew Strauss: How come you are so cheerful Paul.
Paul Collingwood: I had a wager at 100-1 against us being England’s top batsmen in 2009.
5. KP: Will everyone stop asking me which Peterson scored most fifties in the ODI series?
Middlesex Matters
Gus and the new slimmed down Middlesex committee don’t seem to be taking next season seriously. The big news(sic) is that they have signed Toby Rowland Jones and made an out of county venue (Radlett) their new home. The good news for Gus is that England appears to have lost patience with Owais’ running and fielding and so will probably have him available for a full season in 2010. The bad news is that Morgan’s remarkable performances in the various one day forms of the game are likely to keep him increasingly involved in the England set up.
The Great Jack Morgan comments as follows:
“I was a little surprised about TSRJ getting a contract (was it caused by Surrey's interest?); he looks a useful all round cricketer, but calling him a "fast" bowler is a real exaggeration. Still, if Gus has seen something in him then we have cause for hope, but yes, he will start way behind the erratic trio of Finn, Evans and Williams; and Burton, too, if he has been retained and possibly behind even Josh Davey and Tom Hampton as well.
The Middlesex Annual Review is always a nice present to receive at this time of year. Rebecca Hart seems to be growing into the editor's role and many of the items are interesting and informative, but Don Shelley's first eleven stuff should be the centrepiece of the book, but it is dull, uninspiring and riddled with spelling mistakes. I also searched in vain for the reasons that persuaded Gus to give Toby R-J a contract: he played five times for the 2s in the Trophy and did very well with the ball taking 8 wickets at 19 apiece for 6th place in the averages, but this is just one-day stuff; as for his batting, he did not even get to the crease. In the 2s Championship, he played one match without batting or bowling. In 2008, he played in one Championship match, scoring 4 and 10 and taking 1 for 56. I wondered if he had starred for any other of the Middx teams, but there is no other mention of him at all, so the evidence to support Gus's surprise decision is extremely scanty. Surely he would not award a contract based on performances in club cricket? The only reason I know that he can bat is because of his runs for Surrey at Reigate. Perhaps he was busy slaughtering weak county teams for Leeds/ Bradford without my noticing?
I cannot get excited about A Gilchrist turning out for us in the T20 and apparently they want S Tendulkar as well: it's all a waste of scarce budgetary resources.
I have now got next season's first team fixtures and it seems incredible that seven out of eight Championship games are to be played at Lord's and most of the limited overs stuff too... in a season when there will be 3 Tests at Lord's... astonishing! They are starting far too early (9/4 at Worcester, fix up one of your meetings, but take the thermals), but also finishing too early (10/9), which seems silly in view of the good September weather in recent years... how can I break my new record of 14 cricket days in September when play finishes on the 10th? UCCE games start on 3/4: ridiculous! How do you fancy DUCCE versus your boys at Durham (probably at the Durham University ground, where I have played, of course)? There is a whopping great chasm in the fixture list between 7/6, when the Championship match v N'hants at Lord's finishes and 21/7, when the Championship game against Sussex starts at Uxbridge. This six week period is totally T20 crap relieved only by two one-dayers v Australia and Bangladesh and a Championship game at Bristol! I am eagerly awaiting the 2s fixtures before I plan my six week holiday!”
Nice Matters
Nick Reed sent me this
Paddy Carlin ruminates in Googlies 83 about whether people's nice-ness contributes to their being picked or otherwise for England. Some thoughts and an anecdote on that:
1. If it's true, Chris Read must be a truly unspeakable individual.
2. Both Phil and Frances Edmonds touched on this in various books of the early '90s. Mrs E suggested that there were one or two England regulars of the '80s that she would cross the road to avoid if she saw them coming - and left some meaty clues about who they might be.
3. Of course, one person's nasty person is another's best beer buddy, one person's selfish git is another's hugely committed professional, and one person's prima donna is another's genius whose abilities the first person is simply jealous of.
4. After several years, I can finally offer a story from my deeply inglorious cricketing career. During a hugely enjoyable couple of summers in the 1990s playing for the Totteridge Sunday XI, a regular colleague was Mike Pearce (also a former Saracens fly-half), who despite being in his late '60s was considerably fitter than anyone else in the side, and was also something important at the MCC. A couple of times, talk of players badly treated by selectors down the years (Randall, Edmonds himself, Fairbrother, Maynard, the usual suspects) led to an outstanding county middle-order batsman of the time (no names, no pack drill) being mentioned. At which point Mike expressed the firm opinion that this individual concerned was an obnoxious little expletive-deleted who could be Bradman and still have less chance of being picked for England than I had of opening the bowling for Totteridge. It should be mentioned at this point that I keep wicket, an occupation I took up due to my inability to pitch an over arm delivery within the cut square. The story is somewhat spoilt by the fact that a few years later the (still decent but no longer irresistible) claims of our man were recognised by the selectors. Though they did drop him pretty sharpish as soon as the chance came along.
Regarding the weight of county allegiance for internationals I remember suggesting some years ago Trevor Jesty as the best player never to have represented England. I have no opinion as to whether this indicates deep-set anti-Hants bias.
I replied
Are you able to attach blame to anyone with regard this or other matters? I liked Robin Ager's blaming Bill Hart and would like to start a thread of blaming, however spurious.
He responded
In that case I blame the late John Peel for making niceness the key attribute towards achieving national treasure status. Or Oliver Gibbs for presumably initiating the e-mail tangle which has me subscribed to this entertaining journal despite having no connection to anything or anyone relevant.
Work currently brings me to a conference addressed by eco-veteran Jonathon Porritt, who revealed that before saving the planet by degrees he used to teach English at St Clement Danes. Perhaps some of your subscribers remember him?
Dream Team Matters
The Great Jack Morgan is getting irritated
I think I'm going to give up arguing with Paddy Carlin: how can he pick a Division 2 side when he hasn't even seen the champions? Kent were obviously the best team and Derbys were also impressive at Uxbridge (and even lowly Leics would demand places for Jimmy Taylor, Boeta Dippenaar, HD Ackerman, Tom New and Iain O'Brien), so what relevance is a side that does not consider any of their players? Do you publish this stuff purely to irritate me? Going solely on 2009's figures, the team would have to look something like this: Chris Rogers (Derbys), Phil Hughes (Middx), Mark Ramprakash (Surrey), Martin van Jaarsfeld (Kent), Jimmy Taylor (Leics), Geraint Jones (Kent), Azhar Mahmood (Kent), Murali Kartik (Middx), Jon Lewis (Gloucs), David Lucas (N'hants) and Steve Kirby (Gloucs); 12th Andrew Hall (N'hants).
Yorkshire Matters
Eric Stephens sent me this
On Wednesday, October 21st, I attended the Inaugural Lecture at the Cricket Research Centre, University of Huddersfield. The Speaker for the evening was David Frith, well-known cricket writer and one of the best cricket historians in the world. His topic for the evening was ‘Yorkshire Cricketers I Have Known: From Wilfred Rhodes To Fred Trueman’ but, as it turned out, not necessarily in that order!
Appropriately, given this day was Geoff Boycott’s 69th birthday, a point not lost on the speaker, David began by saying that, despite many ‘debates’ with Geoffrey, he liked the man and was a great admirer of his knowledge and dedication to the sport. He told the story that when a well-known cricket writer, with whom Geoffrey never saw eye-to-eye, had published a book, it was denounced as not that good (or possibly some stronger expression). When pressed, Geoffrey admitted he hadn’t read it!
David delighted in talking about Wilfred Rhodes. He was clearly proud of having recordings of his interviews with the Great Man and, if it’s possible, even more proud of the fact that he took Wilfred to the last ever cricket match he saw before his death. He related that Wilfred, as a young bowler new to the England team, wanted to ‘get at’ Victor Trumper. This was exactly what all other bowlers did not want to do in the years leading up to the First World War. Trumper destroyed bowlers and reputations. But that did not discourage the lad from Kirkheaton.
David reflected on Martyn Moxon’s highest test score being 99, an injustice as three runs clearly from the bat were signalled as leg-byes by the New Zealand umpire. But perhaps this has made Martyn more famous. He did not relate Martyn’s views! Talking to John Hampshire on the 1970-1 Ashes tour, it emerged that John had not written to his wife for several weeks. When it was suggested he do so, he started the letter ‘Dear Mrs. Hampshire…’ He should have played more for England commented David; lesser players did.
Chris Old was a wonderful bowler who had a phobia about injury and illness. He missed or failed to complete so many games. David felt he was enjoying his life after cricket as the owner of a Fish and Chip shop in Cornwall. Sir Leonard Hutton was an all-time great, most famous for scoring 364 at The Oval in 1938 against Australia and for being the captain to regain the Ashes after 20 years in 1953. But he also suffered serious injury during the War which lead to a shortening of his left arm and a re-vamp of his batting technique. Little known is that he took a wicket with the last ball of the last test match in which he played at the end of the 1954-5 tour of Australia. His leg-break bowled Richie Benaud.
David Frith and Eric Stephens
David saved possibly the best until last….. Herbert Sutcliffe, statistically the best batsman England has ever had. Herbert is one of only four batsman to have a career average of over 60 in test cricket, and the highest Englishman. A great bad-pitch player in the days of uncovered pitches, his records are well documented. Most surprising is that he never received any honour, when others have received knighthoods. ‘The most determined cricketer I ever met’
His great regret, of which he never made a specific point, but which recurred as a theme many times, was of the lack of fun and the blandness in the game today. All media interviews sound the same. Appeals are always aggressive….mouths open fists clenched. And where are all the great characters? It might not have been explicitly stated, but all present understood what was being said.
After an hour and a half David invited questions from the audience. Asked why we in ‘God’s County’ always seemed to be in the headlines for the wrong reasons (most recently the departure of Matthew Hoggard) when other counties avoided such publicity, David gave the diplomatic reply that we are Yorkshiremen! Best left like that.
A few of us went for a curry after the meeting. During the meal David told us that his cricket archive was about twice the size of the restaurant in which we were dining. Without any means of accurate measurement, I made that about 2000 square feet. Some collector’s item!
Huddersfield is an appropriate setting for the UK's first dedicated Cricket Research Centre. It is a hotbed of local cricket and for many years Yorkshire used to play regular fixtures at Fartown, home of the former Huddersfield CC. Two of the most famous Yorkshire and England cricketers - Wilfred Rhodes and George Herbert Hirst - were born in the town, and Lascelles Hall CC (located close by) has a claim to being the 'Hambledon of the North' on account of the number of Yorkshire and England cricketers it produced in the late nineteenth century.
In recent years, there has been significant research in the area of cricket history at the University of Huddersfield, including the £50,000 community project, 'The Cricketing Heritage of Calderdale & Kirklees' - the first sport-related project to be funded by the Heritage Lottery Fund. The main aims are to encourage research into all aspects of cricket, from specific research topics to more general matters such as cricket’s importance in social history and local identity.
Middlesex County Cricket League
Charlie Puckett sent me his annual report for the Middlesex League 2009
Ealing won the League title for the 5th consecutive season and the 8th time overall to move within one of Finchley’s long-standing record. For good measure, the 3rd XI retained their title and the 2nd XI finished second to Teddington. The 4th XI completed a wonderful season by winning the 1987 League title and, assuming the AGM agrees to them coming into the League, a unique piece of history will be made in 2010: Bob Fisher skippered the 1st XI in their inaugural League season in 1972 and will be captain of the 4ths in 2010 – can any major club anywhere boast a record like that?
Once again Ealing were the sum of their parts with no individual standing out from the pack. The League’s highest run scorer for the second year running was Eastcote’s Australian, Tom Scollay, with 865 at a shade over 50; the highest placed local was Steve Selwood with 830. The highest individual score in the League now rests with John Alderson whose 215 n.o. against Barnet B’s broke Robin Sims’ previous effort of 212, coincidentally also for Ickenham.
Richmond have again been relegated after their immediate return to the top flight but Shepherds Bush bucked the trend and Winchmore Hill will spend 2010 in Division 2 instead. Their places will be taken by Acton and Twickenham after the latter somehow held out for a last-day draw with nearest challengers Southgate; chasing the visitor’s 264-7, Twickenham had slumped to 37-7 before J.P. Cronje (72) staged a fight back and Jack Parker (12n.o.) and Mike Vosloo (10 n.o.) finished the job with a defiant last wicket partnership in the gathering gloom.
Uxbridge and North London were relegated from Division 2, to be replaced by Harrow Town and Kenton. Until two weeks from the end, Hornsey were favourites to go up but successive defeats by their two nearest challengers cost them dear. Kenton’s Sami Haider didn’t so much break the League’s bowling record as shatter it. Rob Bell’s record of 68 lasted just three seasons before Haider guided Kenton to promotion with an astonishing 81 wickets including no less than nine 5-wicket hauls.
At the bottom, Wycombe House finished bottom and face an anxious wait until the League AGM at the end of November to see whether Indian Gymkhana’s application to come up as champions of both the 1st and 2nd XI of the Middlesex Championship. If Gymkhana are successful, Wembley 2nd XI will become the first team of the original 16 MCCL clubs to be relegated out of the League and into the Championship. Bessborough 3rd XI finished bottom of the 3rd XI League and may be replaced by Ealing 4th XI.
The League’s clubs fared better this year than last in the National Cup with both Ealing and Finchley winning their groups before meeting up in the 6th round (the last 16) where the former triumphed decisively by 95 runs. Unfortunately, they went out in the next round, comfortably beaten by Bath after their, normally so dependable, batting had an off-day.
The County 20/20 was won by Finchley in another excellent Finals Day at Winchmore Hill. Teddington were the new boys at this year’s day and defeated holders Stanmore in their semi-final to set up a match with the 2007 winners who had overcome the home club. The winners travelled to Billericay where Finchley crashed out rather surprisingly to Chingford who proceeded to lose in the final to Reigate Priory.
The Evening Standard sponsorship of the Challenge Trophy ended last year but the gauntlet was taken up by the Club Cricket Conference, albeit without the generous sponsorship of years gone by – or, indeed, any sponsorship at all. Only half the number of clubs entered (although all the ones who might reasonably have expected to win prize money under the Ancien Regime did so) but it was business as usual as Finchley duly won the inaugural trophy, beating Essex (and elsewhere) club Waltham in the final at Shenley by 7 wickets after dismissing them for just 107. Finchley had also been losing finalists in the solitary season the CCC had previously run this competition in 1995.
The Middlesex Cup saw Finchley compete in their 5th consecutive final against Ealing, making their first appearance since 1991 and attempting to win it for the first time in 38 years! Finchley were dismissed for just 226, with Mark Powell top scoring with 89, after losing half their wickets for just 50. Ealing raced away in their usual manner and looked likely to canter to victory before slipping to just over 100-4 before acting skipper Chris Peploe with a fine unbeaten 50 saw them home.
Following the hubris of last year’s report on the success of the MCCL side in the CCC Inter League competition, time for a bit of contrition. The CCC decided to make the competition a Sunday affair based on two divisions, north and south of the river, thus guaranteeing everybody a minimum of three matches.
Unfortunately, if the first match was lost (as it was), there was no incentive to play in the other games – Norwich is not the most exciting option when one is already out of the running. We were also hampered by the success of our major clubs in the various cup competitions. However, whichever way you cut it, the fact is we just weren’t good enough. Next year the experiment will be discontinued and we will again compete in a straight knock out in mid-week so (enough contrition for one article) normal service will be resumed!
Our two representative friendlies also ended in defeat. The first, against the Australian Indigenous XI, ended in a loss by 7 wickets. After collapsing to 67-8, a fighting 56 n.o. from Sunhil Taylor saw us recover to 211. Our team was strengthened by Tim Murtagh returning from injury and using it as an opportunity to find his new club ground – and out of it and all around it (his words, not mine!). The second was against Melbourne CC when, chasing just 152 to win, we fell apart from 51-4 to 80 all out in the time it took the Manager to drive the Aussie manager to the launderette to collect the team’s washing!
Finally, I have to make the usual couple of thanks and one goodbye: firstly, to Vinny Codrington, Richard Goatley and the staff at Middlesex for their continued support; and, secondly, to our sponsors, Shepherd Neame whose generosity has been so valuable – both in terms of the immediate financial aid and by paying the entry fees for all our clubs into the 20/20 competition. Sadly, the current state of the national finances, doubtless coupled with my enforced decision to give up alcohol, has caused them to rethink and consequently they will not be renewing their sponsorship for 2010. Our grateful thanks are due to Graeme Craig and his team for their help and we hope our paths will cross again sometime.
Need to Know Matters
I received this from the Great Jack Morgan before the end of the season
Incredibly, at the end of August, I stand at 44 cricket days attended this season and the 18 days in August is an all-time record for any month. Only two years' totals for the season are more than the current total: 46 in 2000 and 50 in 2003, though in 2005 the total was 44. As there are still games to see at Reigate (three days this week, though the forecast is not good beyond tomorrow), Slough (the Minor Counties Championship Final is four days, but the last day clashes with the first of ten days at Uxbridge), Uxbridge and the Oval (four days in late September), it would need some very bad weather indeed to prevent my breaking the all-time record. As I need seven days out of a theoretical 20, get your money on me now!
Followed by this update
I have already broken the old record for attendance at cricket in one season (did you have your money on me as instructed?) and I am now set on increasing the new record by Bob Beamon proportions, but this plan is going to be frustrated by inclement weather this week, so they say. It's slightly ironic that I should set a new attendance record in the season that we claim our first ever wooden spoon.
And finally this
Incredibly, my total of cricket days this season was 58, shattering the previous record of 50 in 2003. September's figure of 14 was way ahead of the previous best of 8 and the average of 5.4. In addition, the combined August/ September figure of 32 beat the previous best by 11 and the previous average by more than 15 days... astonishing!
Fit for What Matters
I have long held the view that the old fast bowlers were fitter for their job than the new style fitness freaks. It seems now that some of the pros are beginning to agree with me. After Australia won a one-day series against India with nine players out injured, Steve Rixon said:
“Some of the best specimens running around in cricket have the bodies of a Greek Adonis but we can’t get them on the park to bowl.”
Doug Walters is among many people who are unsympathetic: “I think blokes have got to toughen up and forget about injuries. I think they make it up, that they’ve got injuries. I’m sure they do,”
Bizarrely, Ricky Ponting actually seems to take pleasure in seeing his team-mates break down. “It’s probably one of the best one-day series I have ever been involved in, what with all the injuries and setbacks at the start of this tour,” he said.
Bollox Matters
There is no one better at detecting bollox than the Great Jack Morgan
These ICC teams of the year are bollocks aren't they? How does S Broad get into the Test team of the year? And, in particular, how does Shakib al Hasan get in as the only spinner? I looked him up in the Crickinfo Guide to International Cricket 2009 and found that (OK these figures are out of date) his Test match bowling average was 104.66. I know that these figures have improved, but if they have improved so much that he is worth a place in the World XI, why does he not feature in the ICC rankings? The ICC top ten has Murali at no 2, Harbhajan at no 5, Harris at no 7 and Swann at no 10; no mention of Shakib. Is it fixed? Must there be a token Bangle? None of the teams selected has enough bowling and Will Porterfield is preferred to RNTD as the associate player of the year: what nonsense!
Strange Elevens
Charlie Puckett has found the ideal candidate for anyone planning to select a side comprising players with six initials. Sri Lanka’s new opening bowler is Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara.
International Football Matters
Is it just me or does no one find international football of any interest? The constant breaking up of the important domestic season for international kick abouts featuring reserve team players from the Premiership holds no interest for me. The Premiership is so much better and vital than the tedium of players going through the motions at international level. Its time that the authorities recognised that the clubs have better resources then the national sides, are better coached(because they have the time to do it) and are themselves international sides anyway. The retirement of national football teams is long overdue.
When I tried this out on the Great Jack Morgan he replied:
I lost interest in international football about the time that Alf Ramsey took over!
Football Matters
Andrew Baker tells me that he is most impressed with the recent fad for football teams to have different kit for all away matches and so he approached Kelvin West to come up with a design for his Ladies team. The ever willing Mr West immediately leaped into action and came up with a novel design which he noted would provide both support and protection and prevent any fall outs whilst allowing room for the skin to breathe. He tells me that he generously attended the fitting sessions personally and helped all of the players to get comfortable in their new outfits. Andrew Baker wasn’t available for comment.
Googlies and Chinamen
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Tel & fax: 01298 70237
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 84
December 2009
Caption Competition
1. Paul Collingwood: Great news, Kev’s back.
Andrew Strauss: Kev who?
2. Graham Swann: You put your left foot in, your left foot out, you do the Oki Koki and you shake it all about
3. Andrew Strauss: We must be almost top of the ICC rankings by now?
Andy Flower: Don’t get your hopes up. Apparently even if we win the next sixteen tests straight we still won’t necessarily be top.
4. Andrew Strauss: How come you are so cheerful Paul.
Paul Collingwood: I had a wager at 100-1 against us being England’s top batsmen in 2009.
5. KP: Will everyone stop asking me which Peterson scored most fifties in the ODI series?
Middlesex Matters
Gus and the new slimmed down Middlesex committee don’t seem to be taking next season seriously. The big news(sic) is that they have signed Toby Rowland Jones and made an out of county venue (Radlett) their new home. The good news for Gus is that England appears to have lost patience with Owais’ running and fielding and so will probably have him available for a full season in 2010. The bad news is that Morgan’s remarkable performances in the various one day forms of the game are likely to keep him increasingly involved in the England set up.
The Great Jack Morgan comments as follows:
“I was a little surprised about TSRJ getting a contract (was it caused by Surrey's interest?); he looks a useful all round cricketer, but calling him a "fast" bowler is a real exaggeration. Still, if Gus has seen something in him then we have cause for hope, but yes, he will start way behind the erratic trio of Finn, Evans and Williams; and Burton, too, if he has been retained and possibly behind even Josh Davey and Tom Hampton as well.
The Middlesex Annual Review is always a nice present to receive at this time of year. Rebecca Hart seems to be growing into the editor's role and many of the items are interesting and informative, but Don Shelley's first eleven stuff should be the centrepiece of the book, but it is dull, uninspiring and riddled with spelling mistakes. I also searched in vain for the reasons that persuaded Gus to give Toby R-J a contract: he played five times for the 2s in the Trophy and did very well with the ball taking 8 wickets at 19 apiece for 6th place in the averages, but this is just one-day stuff; as for his batting, he did not even get to the crease. In the 2s Championship, he played one match without batting or bowling. In 2008, he played in one Championship match, scoring 4 and 10 and taking 1 for 56. I wondered if he had starred for any other of the Middx teams, but there is no other mention of him at all, so the evidence to support Gus's surprise decision is extremely scanty. Surely he would not award a contract based on performances in club cricket? The only reason I know that he can bat is because of his runs for Surrey at Reigate. Perhaps he was busy slaughtering weak county teams for Leeds/ Bradford without my noticing?
I cannot get excited about A Gilchrist turning out for us in the T20 and apparently they want S Tendulkar as well: it's all a waste of scarce budgetary resources.
I have now got next season's first team fixtures and it seems incredible that seven out of eight Championship games are to be played at Lord's and most of the limited overs stuff too... in a season when there will be 3 Tests at Lord's... astonishing! They are starting far too early (9/4 at Worcester, fix up one of your meetings, but take the thermals), but also finishing too early (10/9), which seems silly in view of the good September weather in recent years... how can I break my new record of 14 cricket days in September when play finishes on the 10th? UCCE games start on 3/4: ridiculous! How do you fancy DUCCE versus your boys at Durham (probably at the Durham University ground, where I have played, of course)? There is a whopping great chasm in the fixture list between 7/6, when the Championship match v N'hants at Lord's finishes and 21/7, when the Championship game against Sussex starts at Uxbridge. This six week period is totally T20 crap relieved only by two one-dayers v Australia and Bangladesh and a Championship game at Bristol! I am eagerly awaiting the 2s fixtures before I plan my six week holiday!”
Nice Matters
Nick Reed sent me this
Paddy Carlin ruminates in Googlies 83 about whether people's nice-ness contributes to their being picked or otherwise for England. Some thoughts and an anecdote on that:
1. If it's true, Chris Read must be a truly unspeakable individual.
2. Both Phil and Frances Edmonds touched on this in various books of the early '90s. Mrs E suggested that there were one or two England regulars of the '80s that she would cross the road to avoid if she saw them coming - and left some meaty clues about who they might be.
3. Of course, one person's nasty person is another's best beer buddy, one person's selfish git is another's hugely committed professional, and one person's prima donna is another's genius whose abilities the first person is simply jealous of.
4. After several years, I can finally offer a story from my deeply inglorious cricketing career. During a hugely enjoyable couple of summers in the 1990s playing for the Totteridge Sunday XI, a regular colleague was Mike Pearce (also a former Saracens fly-half), who despite being in his late '60s was considerably fitter than anyone else in the side, and was also something important at the MCC. A couple of times, talk of players badly treated by selectors down the years (Randall, Edmonds himself, Fairbrother, Maynard, the usual suspects) led to an outstanding county middle-order batsman of the time (no names, no pack drill) being mentioned. At which point Mike expressed the firm opinion that this individual concerned was an obnoxious little expletive-deleted who could be Bradman and still have less chance of being picked for England than I had of opening the bowling for Totteridge. It should be mentioned at this point that I keep wicket, an occupation I took up due to my inability to pitch an over arm delivery within the cut square. The story is somewhat spoilt by the fact that a few years later the (still decent but no longer irresistible) claims of our man were recognised by the selectors. Though they did drop him pretty sharpish as soon as the chance came along.
Regarding the weight of county allegiance for internationals I remember suggesting some years ago Trevor Jesty as the best player never to have represented England. I have no opinion as to whether this indicates deep-set anti-Hants bias.
I replied
Are you able to attach blame to anyone with regard this or other matters? I liked Robin Ager's blaming Bill Hart and would like to start a thread of blaming, however spurious.
He responded
In that case I blame the late John Peel for making niceness the key attribute towards achieving national treasure status. Or Oliver Gibbs for presumably initiating the e-mail tangle which has me subscribed to this entertaining journal despite having no connection to anything or anyone relevant.
Work currently brings me to a conference addressed by eco-veteran Jonathon Porritt, who revealed that before saving the planet by degrees he used to teach English at St Clement Danes. Perhaps some of your subscribers remember him?
Dream Team Matters
The Great Jack Morgan is getting irritated
I think I'm going to give up arguing with Paddy Carlin: how can he pick a Division 2 side when he hasn't even seen the champions? Kent were obviously the best team and Derbys were also impressive at Uxbridge (and even lowly Leics would demand places for Jimmy Taylor, Boeta Dippenaar, HD Ackerman, Tom New and Iain O'Brien), so what relevance is a side that does not consider any of their players? Do you publish this stuff purely to irritate me? Going solely on 2009's figures, the team would have to look something like this: Chris Rogers (Derbys), Phil Hughes (Middx), Mark Ramprakash (Surrey), Martin van Jaarsfeld (Kent), Jimmy Taylor (Leics), Geraint Jones (Kent), Azhar Mahmood (Kent), Murali Kartik (Middx), Jon Lewis (Gloucs), David Lucas (N'hants) and Steve Kirby (Gloucs); 12th Andrew Hall (N'hants).
Yorkshire Matters
Eric Stephens sent me this
On Wednesday, October 21st, I attended the Inaugural Lecture at the Cricket Research Centre, University of Huddersfield. The Speaker for the evening was David Frith, well-known cricket writer and one of the best cricket historians in the world. His topic for the evening was ‘Yorkshire Cricketers I Have Known: From Wilfred Rhodes To Fred Trueman’ but, as it turned out, not necessarily in that order!
Appropriately, given this day was Geoff Boycott’s 69th birthday, a point not lost on the speaker, David began by saying that, despite many ‘debates’ with Geoffrey, he liked the man and was a great admirer of his knowledge and dedication to the sport. He told the story that when a well-known cricket writer, with whom Geoffrey never saw eye-to-eye, had published a book, it was denounced as not that good (or possibly some stronger expression). When pressed, Geoffrey admitted he hadn’t read it!
David delighted in talking about Wilfred Rhodes. He was clearly proud of having recordings of his interviews with the Great Man and, if it’s possible, even more proud of the fact that he took Wilfred to the last ever cricket match he saw before his death. He related that Wilfred, as a young bowler new to the England team, wanted to ‘get at’ Victor Trumper. This was exactly what all other bowlers did not want to do in the years leading up to the First World War. Trumper destroyed bowlers and reputations. But that did not discourage the lad from Kirkheaton.
David reflected on Martyn Moxon’s highest test score being 99, an injustice as three runs clearly from the bat were signalled as leg-byes by the New Zealand umpire. But perhaps this has made Martyn more famous. He did not relate Martyn’s views! Talking to John Hampshire on the 1970-1 Ashes tour, it emerged that John had not written to his wife for several weeks. When it was suggested he do so, he started the letter ‘Dear Mrs. Hampshire…’ He should have played more for England commented David; lesser players did.
Chris Old was a wonderful bowler who had a phobia about injury and illness. He missed or failed to complete so many games. David felt he was enjoying his life after cricket as the owner of a Fish and Chip shop in Cornwall. Sir Leonard Hutton was an all-time great, most famous for scoring 364 at The Oval in 1938 against Australia and for being the captain to regain the Ashes after 20 years in 1953. But he also suffered serious injury during the War which lead to a shortening of his left arm and a re-vamp of his batting technique. Little known is that he took a wicket with the last ball of the last test match in which he played at the end of the 1954-5 tour of Australia. His leg-break bowled Richie Benaud.
David Frith and Eric Stephens
David saved possibly the best until last….. Herbert Sutcliffe, statistically the best batsman England has ever had. Herbert is one of only four batsman to have a career average of over 60 in test cricket, and the highest Englishman. A great bad-pitch player in the days of uncovered pitches, his records are well documented. Most surprising is that he never received any honour, when others have received knighthoods. ‘The most determined cricketer I ever met’
His great regret, of which he never made a specific point, but which recurred as a theme many times, was of the lack of fun and the blandness in the game today. All media interviews sound the same. Appeals are always aggressive….mouths open fists clenched. And where are all the great characters? It might not have been explicitly stated, but all present understood what was being said.
After an hour and a half David invited questions from the audience. Asked why we in ‘God’s County’ always seemed to be in the headlines for the wrong reasons (most recently the departure of Matthew Hoggard) when other counties avoided such publicity, David gave the diplomatic reply that we are Yorkshiremen! Best left like that.
A few of us went for a curry after the meeting. During the meal David told us that his cricket archive was about twice the size of the restaurant in which we were dining. Without any means of accurate measurement, I made that about 2000 square feet. Some collector’s item!
Huddersfield is an appropriate setting for the UK's first dedicated Cricket Research Centre. It is a hotbed of local cricket and for many years Yorkshire used to play regular fixtures at Fartown, home of the former Huddersfield CC. Two of the most famous Yorkshire and England cricketers - Wilfred Rhodes and George Herbert Hirst - were born in the town, and Lascelles Hall CC (located close by) has a claim to being the 'Hambledon of the North' on account of the number of Yorkshire and England cricketers it produced in the late nineteenth century.
In recent years, there has been significant research in the area of cricket history at the University of Huddersfield, including the £50,000 community project, 'The Cricketing Heritage of Calderdale & Kirklees' - the first sport-related project to be funded by the Heritage Lottery Fund. The main aims are to encourage research into all aspects of cricket, from specific research topics to more general matters such as cricket’s importance in social history and local identity.
Middlesex County Cricket League
Charlie Puckett sent me his annual report for the Middlesex League 2009
Ealing won the League title for the 5th consecutive season and the 8th time overall to move within one of Finchley’s long-standing record. For good measure, the 3rd XI retained their title and the 2nd XI finished second to Teddington. The 4th XI completed a wonderful season by winning the 1987 League title and, assuming the AGM agrees to them coming into the League, a unique piece of history will be made in 2010: Bob Fisher skippered the 1st XI in their inaugural League season in 1972 and will be captain of the 4ths in 2010 – can any major club anywhere boast a record like that?
Once again Ealing were the sum of their parts with no individual standing out from the pack. The League’s highest run scorer for the second year running was Eastcote’s Australian, Tom Scollay, with 865 at a shade over 50; the highest placed local was Steve Selwood with 830. The highest individual score in the League now rests with John Alderson whose 215 n.o. against Barnet B’s broke Robin Sims’ previous effort of 212, coincidentally also for Ickenham.
Richmond have again been relegated after their immediate return to the top flight but Shepherds Bush bucked the trend and Winchmore Hill will spend 2010 in Division 2 instead. Their places will be taken by Acton and Twickenham after the latter somehow held out for a last-day draw with nearest challengers Southgate; chasing the visitor’s 264-7, Twickenham had slumped to 37-7 before J.P. Cronje (72) staged a fight back and Jack Parker (12n.o.) and Mike Vosloo (10 n.o.) finished the job with a defiant last wicket partnership in the gathering gloom.
Uxbridge and North London were relegated from Division 2, to be replaced by Harrow Town and Kenton. Until two weeks from the end, Hornsey were favourites to go up but successive defeats by their two nearest challengers cost them dear. Kenton’s Sami Haider didn’t so much break the League’s bowling record as shatter it. Rob Bell’s record of 68 lasted just three seasons before Haider guided Kenton to promotion with an astonishing 81 wickets including no less than nine 5-wicket hauls.
At the bottom, Wycombe House finished bottom and face an anxious wait until the League AGM at the end of November to see whether Indian Gymkhana’s application to come up as champions of both the 1st and 2nd XI of the Middlesex Championship. If Gymkhana are successful, Wembley 2nd XI will become the first team of the original 16 MCCL clubs to be relegated out of the League and into the Championship. Bessborough 3rd XI finished bottom of the 3rd XI League and may be replaced by Ealing 4th XI.
The League’s clubs fared better this year than last in the National Cup with both Ealing and Finchley winning their groups before meeting up in the 6th round (the last 16) where the former triumphed decisively by 95 runs. Unfortunately, they went out in the next round, comfortably beaten by Bath after their, normally so dependable, batting had an off-day.
The County 20/20 was won by Finchley in another excellent Finals Day at Winchmore Hill. Teddington were the new boys at this year’s day and defeated holders Stanmore in their semi-final to set up a match with the 2007 winners who had overcome the home club. The winners travelled to Billericay where Finchley crashed out rather surprisingly to Chingford who proceeded to lose in the final to Reigate Priory.
The Evening Standard sponsorship of the Challenge Trophy ended last year but the gauntlet was taken up by the Club Cricket Conference, albeit without the generous sponsorship of years gone by – or, indeed, any sponsorship at all. Only half the number of clubs entered (although all the ones who might reasonably have expected to win prize money under the Ancien Regime did so) but it was business as usual as Finchley duly won the inaugural trophy, beating Essex (and elsewhere) club Waltham in the final at Shenley by 7 wickets after dismissing them for just 107. Finchley had also been losing finalists in the solitary season the CCC had previously run this competition in 1995.
The Middlesex Cup saw Finchley compete in their 5th consecutive final against Ealing, making their first appearance since 1991 and attempting to win it for the first time in 38 years! Finchley were dismissed for just 226, with Mark Powell top scoring with 89, after losing half their wickets for just 50. Ealing raced away in their usual manner and looked likely to canter to victory before slipping to just over 100-4 before acting skipper Chris Peploe with a fine unbeaten 50 saw them home.
Following the hubris of last year’s report on the success of the MCCL side in the CCC Inter League competition, time for a bit of contrition. The CCC decided to make the competition a Sunday affair based on two divisions, north and south of the river, thus guaranteeing everybody a minimum of three matches.
Unfortunately, if the first match was lost (as it was), there was no incentive to play in the other games – Norwich is not the most exciting option when one is already out of the running. We were also hampered by the success of our major clubs in the various cup competitions. However, whichever way you cut it, the fact is we just weren’t good enough. Next year the experiment will be discontinued and we will again compete in a straight knock out in mid-week so (enough contrition for one article) normal service will be resumed!
Our two representative friendlies also ended in defeat. The first, against the Australian Indigenous XI, ended in a loss by 7 wickets. After collapsing to 67-8, a fighting 56 n.o. from Sunhil Taylor saw us recover to 211. Our team was strengthened by Tim Murtagh returning from injury and using it as an opportunity to find his new club ground – and out of it and all around it (his words, not mine!). The second was against Melbourne CC when, chasing just 152 to win, we fell apart from 51-4 to 80 all out in the time it took the Manager to drive the Aussie manager to the launderette to collect the team’s washing!
Finally, I have to make the usual couple of thanks and one goodbye: firstly, to Vinny Codrington, Richard Goatley and the staff at Middlesex for their continued support; and, secondly, to our sponsors, Shepherd Neame whose generosity has been so valuable – both in terms of the immediate financial aid and by paying the entry fees for all our clubs into the 20/20 competition. Sadly, the current state of the national finances, doubtless coupled with my enforced decision to give up alcohol, has caused them to rethink and consequently they will not be renewing their sponsorship for 2010. Our grateful thanks are due to Graeme Craig and his team for their help and we hope our paths will cross again sometime.
Need to Know Matters
I received this from the Great Jack Morgan before the end of the season
Incredibly, at the end of August, I stand at 44 cricket days attended this season and the 18 days in August is an all-time record for any month. Only two years' totals for the season are more than the current total: 46 in 2000 and 50 in 2003, though in 2005 the total was 44. As there are still games to see at Reigate (three days this week, though the forecast is not good beyond tomorrow), Slough (the Minor Counties Championship Final is four days, but the last day clashes with the first of ten days at Uxbridge), Uxbridge and the Oval (four days in late September), it would need some very bad weather indeed to prevent my breaking the all-time record. As I need seven days out of a theoretical 20, get your money on me now!
Followed by this update
I have already broken the old record for attendance at cricket in one season (did you have your money on me as instructed?) and I am now set on increasing the new record by Bob Beamon proportions, but this plan is going to be frustrated by inclement weather this week, so they say. It's slightly ironic that I should set a new attendance record in the season that we claim our first ever wooden spoon.
And finally this
Incredibly, my total of cricket days this season was 58, shattering the previous record of 50 in 2003. September's figure of 14 was way ahead of the previous best of 8 and the average of 5.4. In addition, the combined August/ September figure of 32 beat the previous best by 11 and the previous average by more than 15 days... astonishing!
Fit for What Matters
I have long held the view that the old fast bowlers were fitter for their job than the new style fitness freaks. It seems now that some of the pros are beginning to agree with me. After Australia won a one-day series against India with nine players out injured, Steve Rixon said:
“Some of the best specimens running around in cricket have the bodies of a Greek Adonis but we can’t get them on the park to bowl.”
Doug Walters is among many people who are unsympathetic: “I think blokes have got to toughen up and forget about injuries. I think they make it up, that they’ve got injuries. I’m sure they do,”
Bizarrely, Ricky Ponting actually seems to take pleasure in seeing his team-mates break down. “It’s probably one of the best one-day series I have ever been involved in, what with all the injuries and setbacks at the start of this tour,” he said.
Bollox Matters
There is no one better at detecting bollox than the Great Jack Morgan
These ICC teams of the year are bollocks aren't they? How does S Broad get into the Test team of the year? And, in particular, how does Shakib al Hasan get in as the only spinner? I looked him up in the Crickinfo Guide to International Cricket 2009 and found that (OK these figures are out of date) his Test match bowling average was 104.66. I know that these figures have improved, but if they have improved so much that he is worth a place in the World XI, why does he not feature in the ICC rankings? The ICC top ten has Murali at no 2, Harbhajan at no 5, Harris at no 7 and Swann at no 10; no mention of Shakib. Is it fixed? Must there be a token Bangle? None of the teams selected has enough bowling and Will Porterfield is preferred to RNTD as the associate player of the year: what nonsense!
Strange Elevens
Charlie Puckett has found the ideal candidate for anyone planning to select a side comprising players with six initials. Sri Lanka’s new opening bowler is Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara.
International Football Matters
Is it just me or does no one find international football of any interest? The constant breaking up of the important domestic season for international kick abouts featuring reserve team players from the Premiership holds no interest for me. The Premiership is so much better and vital than the tedium of players going through the motions at international level. Its time that the authorities recognised that the clubs have better resources then the national sides, are better coached(because they have the time to do it) and are themselves international sides anyway. The retirement of national football teams is long overdue.
When I tried this out on the Great Jack Morgan he replied:
I lost interest in international football about the time that Alf Ramsey took over!
Football Matters
Andrew Baker tells me that he is most impressed with the recent fad for football teams to have different kit for all away matches and so he approached Kelvin West to come up with a design for his Ladies team. The ever willing Mr West immediately leaped into action and came up with a novel design which he noted would provide both support and protection and prevent any fall outs whilst allowing room for the skin to breathe. He tells me that he generously attended the fitting sessions personally and helped all of the players to get comfortable in their new outfits. Andrew Baker wasn’t available for comment.
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