GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 140
August 2014
Horsham Blues
It was in glorious sunshine that I set out to pick up the Great Jack Morgan for a day’s cricket on the Thursday before the Old Danes Gathering. We opted to take in the fourth day of the County Championship match at Horsham rather than the third day of the Middlesex 2s epic battle at Hove. The Horsham match was well poised for an exciting day’s cricket. Sussex were 280 ahead with six second innings wickets in hand. They also had two of the biggest hitters in world cricket, Jordan and Wright, at the crease.
But best laid plans etc. We had left ourselves ample time not to have to hurry but hadn’t taken into account traffic in Hampton, diversions at Oxshott and road works at Leatherhead. We eventually parked on the outfield of the second ground which is at the Railway end of the ground according to the tannoy announcer. Strangely there is no sign of a railway anywhere and we heard no trains throughout the day. We had travelled to park beyond the sign that had allowed us to park on the grasscrete if normal parking around the pavilion was not available. How many of you have parked on grasscrete or would even have known if you had?
Whilst I busied myself seeking out scorecards Jack found seats unexpectedly vacant next to the sightscreen at the Railway end. Is inflation in scorecard prices the highest amongst all consumer goods? Where else can you charge £1 for a piece of A4 card? I have only been to Horsham CC once before and that was in 1964 on the South Hampstead CC Sussex tour. I have previously recounted in these pages how when Harry Collins dropped a nick off Don Wallis’ first ball of the match his epithet of “Fuck it” echoed round the ground. However, I didn’t recognize much if anything and suspected that the pavilion, dressing rooms and tea rooms had all been built since my last visit. But it all looked splendid and we were all set for the entertainment to begin.
Chris Woakes kicked things off from the Railway end and got significant bounce at little more than medium pace. This kept Wright in his crease but at the other end Jeetan Patel looked almost unplayable. 960 runs had been scored on the first three days - this looked a mystery on the evidence available on the fourth morning. Wright was caught head high at slip off Patel and then Jordan wafted at and was caught behind off Woakes. So much for the anticipated fireworks. When Piolet edged Patel for the first boundary of the morning after 30 minutes the difficulties in batting were underlined. Patel could have cleaned up the tail but Hain made no attempt to catch a lob off the glove at short leg claiming the sun had blinded him and then Ambrose underlined his England wicket keeping credentials by missing a straightforward catch.
There are unofficial drinks breaks between almost every over but they still have the formal ones every hour and so at noon a veritable picnic took place. But it was all a complete waste of time as Piolet slapped a tennis shot off Rankin to mid off from the first ball of the restart and Joyce called them in. Rankin - remember him? He was first choice giant quick at the beginning of the Ashes series. A Warwickshire supporter explained to Jack and me why he comes on after forty overs and even after Trott for his county side. Apparently coach Dougie Brown earmarks only certain opposition batsmen he wants him to bowl at and so he is held back until they come to the crease. Completely mad.
Warwicks needed 326 to win from 77 overs. Ambrose came out mysteriously with Chopra to open the innings. More Dougie Brown. He was protecting his left handers from the off spinners, apparently. When did he think that they were going to bowl? In the event Jordan, despite an erratic run up, from the Railway end was unplayable and removed Chopra, Porterfield and Trott before lunch which was taken after fifty minutes at 10 for 3. Magoffin, the scourge of Middlesex, extracted substantial bounce from short of a length and caused much discomfort to the Warwickshire top order. After lunch the completely bald Lewis Hatchett relieved Jordan and he soon removed Westwood but Ambrose tucked into some overpitched stuff. Meanwhile at the other end the completely bald James Tredwell caused as many problems as Patel had earlier and he dismissed Hain and Clarke in the same over to reduce Warwicks to 46 for 6.
We had long since accepted that there was to be no chase but Woakes and Ambrose set about restoring some respectability and they doubled the score. However, part time offie, Chris Nash, was given a bowl and turned one enough to get through Ambrose’s defence. Nash’ celebration was outrageous and was clearly influenced by former team mate Monty Panesar. In the next over Woakes was caught off Tredwell and they all trooped off for tea.
Things didn’t last an over when play resumed. Jack told me that Patel could bat but he was bowled by Tredwell and then Barker was run out in a manner that would have done England proud. The last four wickets had fallen without the addition of a run. We had seen 120 runs in four hours for the loss of fifteen wickets. Tredwell whose Championship wicket tally was 5 at over 70 apiece finished with 4 for 7 from 13 overs. As we prematurely packed up our bags the announcer thanked Horsham CC for producing an excellent wicket for a Championship match. I then jocularly added that it was OK as long as you won the toss. My neighbour who had hitherto been silent then embarked on a tirade which included accusing me of sour grapes and he pointed out that my man Trott had scored a hundred. Puzzled as we walked back to the car Jack surmised that he was probably a Horsham member worried about losing the county week if the wicket was criticised. I was still upset at being mistaken for a Warwicks supporter.
We set off back to Hampton and master navigator Jack found us selected traffic jams at the A24, the M25 and at Chessington but skillfully avoided Putney Bridge which was closed.
Postscript
By chance I bumped into Ian McClelland, a Sussex life member who had been at the first three days, at the OD Gathering the following day. He noted: “Sorry your trip to Horsham didn’t turn out to be the exciting run chase you hoped for. I spoke yesterday to a chum who was there all four days and he did agree the wicket was dry and worn. However it was a typical day four pitch which was also the view of the umpires. He made the point that if Sussex had held their catches, Warwicks would have been lucky to get 200 in the first innings. In the second Jordon and Treadwell bowled much better and the catches were taken, so 99 was only a bit below expectation.”
Out and About with the Professor
July, it would be fair to say, has been a somewhat strange sporting month in North Yorkshire. For about a week, early in the month, my home town was besieged. Access and egress were impossible. Roads were blocked, diversions in place. And the cause of these obstructions? Well, sport… I suppose.
For some weeks (months even) beforehand, miles of oddly configured bunting had been put up, resembling tiny little jerseys. Shops, houses, municipal buildings of every sort began to be decorated in yellow. Local shepherds were reported having painted their sheep yellow (or green, or polka dot) and some people even repainted their cars or houses in a similar way.
The object of this mass delirium was a French push-bike race. Why a French push-bike race was taking place in Yorkshire was never adequately explained, but that it was became an object of unalloyed municipal pride and anyone who wasn't beside themselves with excitement was held to be at best a misery and at worst a sort of regional traitor. Your correspondent was, needless-to-say, a member of a very small minority (...again).
The most visible sign of all this tosh was the appearance of bicycles all over the place. Not being ridden, but being taken from sheds and garages, painted yellow and tied to trees, lamp-posts, gates, railings, stuck halfway up walls, fixed to church towers, etc. There cannot have been an unserviceable bike within a 50 mile radius that hadn't got the yellow spray treatment.
And there was an important local element. The star man, called Cavendish, had local connections. His mum lived in the town and his uncle had a bike shop. So, push-bike delirium duly set in. Elderly men who had not been on a bike in years suddenly appeared head-to-toe in Lycra (an unforgiving textile) and started peddling around. Residents became expert in the rules of the race and started to speculate about tactics within “le peloton”, or who would be sprint champion or be crowned "king of the mountains" (as a bike ride through Skipton came to be called). The Coach and Horses, close to the winning line, was re-christened the "Cav and Horses" in the great man's honour. Even O-level French was dusted off and we were all "Ça va?" ing each other.
Followers of the English cricket team know where all this hubris leads...it leads to a fall. And so it did. Moreover the fall was no metaphor. Shortly before the finishing line and the eponymous pub, our man Cavendish fell off his bike, fractured his collar-bone (or something) and took no further part in the race. Quel dommage! (Subsequently the whole silly business went back to France, several more English – or Englishish - riders fell off, and no one has spoken about it since). Having rid ourselves of bicycles the town was then besieged by Landrovers and tractors for four days of the “Great Yorkshire Show”. More unusual sports - competitive hoof trimming and single-handed sheep gelding – to excite us all.
Sandwiching all this were two cricket matches. The first saw a not very impressive Durham side hang on for a draw at Headingley and a similarly limited Middlesex side lose quite comfortably at Scarborough. As a result Yorkshire now sit prettily on top of the league and, from what I've seen this year, are good value for the top spot. The principal obstruction to a win against Durham was the considerable one of Paul Collingwood, ably assisted by the Yorkshire weather. The only resistance from Middlesex came in the form of wicket-keeper Simpson, who proved to not be so obdurate and the Scarborough climate, which had briefly turned tropical, didn’t offer any succour. Durham's Wood bowled with some enthusiasm and pace and proved able to pitch it in the batsman's half in a way that the England bowlers didn't manage to do in the Second Test. He has a slightly strange style to his run-up in that he doesn't gradually accelerate; rather he starts as if he is in the sprinting blocks and dashes in off a resultantly shortish run. Still he bowled well. The other Durham player who looked the part (although not scoring heavily) was the opener Jennings - a tall upright correct looking player. Playfair records Wood as being born in Ashington, which is good enough birth credentials for most sports, while Jennings has impeccable credentials as a future England player, having been born in Johannesburg. Lyth scored hundreds in both games and Sidebottom proved there is life in the ageing dog with a 7-fer. For Yorkshire fans of championship cricket that is it now until mid-August. Let’s trust they are not all out of form by then.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
Middlesex made one change for the Championship match against rock bottom Northamptonshire at Lord’s starting on June 29th, Nick Gubbins making his Championship debut at the expense of Paul Stirling; personally, I thought this was a bit harsh on Paul, who is averaging 69 in first class cricket this season cf Joe Denly's average of 29.5 or Neil Dexter's 34. Stephen Peters won the toss for Northants and decided to field first, which surprised some as the pitch looked full of runs despite its usual greenish tinge. Skipper Chris Rogers and Gubbins got Middlesex off to a great start with a stand of 128 for the first wicket before Gubbins fell for a very promising 54 from 113 balls with 6 fours and a six. Rogers went on to an excellent 86 from 152 balls with 10 fours and a six, but the remainder of the innings was dominated by a terrific effort from Dawid Malan. Eoin Morgan helped him add 62, Dexter shared a stand of 51, but his main collaborator was John Simpson, who played a fine innings of 67 off 123 balls with 9 fours and a six during another outstanding partnership of 128 for the sixth wicket. Dawid accelerated his scoring rate towards the end of his innings to allow Rogers to declare on 488 for 9 with Malan on 154* from 258 balls with 19 fours and a six; it was Dawid's first ton in the Championship for two years. Ex-Surrey offspinner Matt Spriegel picked up 3 for 26 at the end of the innings as Middlesex went for the big slog.
Northants lost three early wickets at the start of their reply, but ex-Middlesex 2s man James Kettleborough, on his Championship debut, held firm and played some good shots in his 73 off 169 balls with 9 fours. The score was 168 for 6 when Kettleborough departed and things looked grim for the visitors, but actually the situation immediately brightened for them as South African Test allrounder Andrew Hall, already playing well, was joined by ex-Middx allrounder Steve Crook. As is his wont, Crooky went for his shots right from the start and his stand of 144 with Hall transformed the match before Hall became the fourth victim for Steve Finn after a fine 75 off 151 balls with 9 fours. Crook was not finished yet though as ex-Essex pace bowler Maurice Chambers helped him add 57 for the eighth wicket before Crook finally fell for a brilliant 131 (his maiden first class hundred) off 124 balls with 23 fours. Young allrounder Rob Keogh was absent with a broken finger so the Northants innings closed with 9 wickets down at 384, Finn finishing with a creditable 4 for 110 from 29 persevering overs.
Middlesex needed quick runs in their second innings as time had been lost to the weather on both of the first two days and these came from Morgan. Malan assisted in a third wicket partnership of 68 and when Rogers declared on 199 for 5, Eoin had reached a very impressive 81* off 95 balls with 6 fours and 2 sixes. This set Northants 304 to win in 56 overs, which I thought was a very fair target given the perfect weather, as placid a pitch as Lord's has seen for a long time giving little assistance to either pace or spin and the option that was open to the visitors of sending Crooky in early to give themselves a chance of victory. Of course, the reality was that we never saw Crook and we never saw anything worth watching either as the visitors crawled to 82 for 3 off 46 overs to ruin a beautiful day. Northants were obviously happy with their position in the table and saw no reason to seek a win: another triumph for the ludicrous 5 points for a draw loonies! Middlesex 12 points Northants 10: it was only the second time this season that Northants had avoided defeat in the Championship, but they are still 60 points behind eighth placed Sussex, so how much good have 10 points done them compared to the 21 they might have got from the win? Perhaps they prefer Second Division cricket?
Middlesex restored Paul Stirling to the line up in place of Joe Denly for the Championship match against Somerset at Uxbridge starting on July 7th. Chris Rogers won the toss and elected to bat and things were looking good for Middlesex as Nick Gubbins and Dawid Malan added 109 for the second wicket before Gubbins became one of three victims for Alex Barrow (deputising behind the stumps for Craig Kieswetter) after a very useful 59 off 129 balls with 8 fours and a six. Malan has hit a rich vein of form at present, but none of his other partners looked convincing until he was joined by Stirling, batting surprisingly low at no 7, with the score on 220 for 5. After a stand of 59 for the sixth wicket, Dawid finally fell for an excellent 124 off 218 balls with 24 fours. Stirling played some impressive shots in his 56 from 101 balls with 8 fours and Toby Roland-Jones made an entertaining 31 from 42 balls, but Middlesex collapsed to a rather disappointing 338 all out from 97.5 overs and this was largely due to some energetic pace bowling from the giant Craig Overton, twin brother of Jamie who had played against Middlesex at Lord's last season. In the early part of the match, the pitch was very lively and Overton generated plenty of pace and bounce which caused problems for the wicket keeper as well as the batsmen. The Middlesex lower order could not cope with Overton and he collected 4 for 84 as the tail surrendered rather tamely. Ex-Middlesex allrounder Peter Trego picked up 3 for 67.
The Middlesex pace bowlers also enjoyed the conditions and soon had Somerset struggling on 28 for 3, but ex-Middlesex batsman Nick Compton was playing soundly and he was joined by ex-Millfield man James Hildreth who played attractively for 53 from 65 balls with 8 fours in a fourth wicket stand of 75. Barrow also played well for 36 in a partnership of 84 until he was disastrously run out in a horrible mix up with Compton. The latter was playing a very dull, but valuable innings as wickets fell at the other end until he himself became the third victim for Steve Finn (3 for 80) for 94 from 278 balls with 9 fours, whereupon captain Marcus Trescothick immediately declared on 264 for 9 after 98.1 overs, giving Middx a lead of 74. Rogers and Neil Dexter both failed for the second time in the match, but the other home batsmen all played impressively as the pace and bounce in the track slowly disappeared. Gubbins made his highest Championship score of 95 from 172 balls with 11 fours and 2 sixes, Malan made 48 from 68 balls with 8 fours, Eoin Morgan contributed 62 from 94 balls with 9 fours and a six, Stirling (rightly promoted to no 5) hit a very quick 60* from 45 balls with 6 fours and a six (which took him to the top of the Middlesex batting averages), while John Simpson hit 29* from 27 balls as he and Stirling added 49 in 28 minutes before Rogers declared on 315 for 5 after 69 overs, setting Somerset 390 to win in 72 overs.
If this seems like the declaration was delayed too long, I think it was understandable as all the pace and bounce had disappeared from the pitch and the spinners were not getting much assistance either. Also Middlesex's recent defeat at Trent Bridge when Notts chased down 387 in 75 overs to beat them by 6 wickets may well have been preying on Rogers's mind. There seemed little chance of a result unless the visitors could be persuaded to chase a difficult target, but when they sank to 61 for 3, there was little chance that they would go for the runs and not much of a hope that Middlesex would be able to bowl them out either. Compton (83* off 136 balls with 10 fours) played more fluently than he had done in the first innings and Hildreth again played his shots in his 60 off 68 balls with 12 fours, but the combination of the time lost on days one and two and the lifeless pitch meant that there was no chance of either side forcing the win and Somerset closed on 203 for 4 after 57 overs. Middlesex 11 points, Somerset 10. Middlesex are fourth in the table, 2 points behind Somerset (and 20 points behind leaders Yorkshire), but some teams have a game in hand.
Is Dhoni Mad?
M.S. Dhoni is a living legend and no one seems to be prepared to question anything he does. On India’s last tour I was at Lord’s for the first day when Dhoni decided to go into a five day test with just four bowlers. One of them Zaheer Khan limped off before lunch in the morning session. Dhoni then removed his pads and bowled dross medium pacers in the afternoon session. At Lord’s this year he decided to stand back to Jadeja’s slow left armers for no satisfactory tactical reason. It simply looked daft and the sight was reminiscent of a primary school match.
At the Aegeas Bowl he decided to use his bowlers in eighteen one over spells. When interviewed none of them was brave enough to say what they really thought and so I considered asking Bill Hart how he would have responded to being captained in such a way. But then I thought better of it as I knew what his answer would be: “He must be mad!”
Kennington Club Matters
Paddy Carlin sends us another report from his exalted home from home
Overnight Surrey 382 for 5; Roy 114 not out,Wilson 60 not out.
Jason Roy was out first ball and so my usual luck with this player continues. Previously I had seen him last three balls - a leading edge and two LBW appeals the second of which was successful. Surrey’s hope of a massive score were scuppered as Wilson and O’Brien also went cheaply but Batty and Linley of all peopleadded nearly fifty. Linley is another player who would be an automatic number eleven had Dernbachnot existed.
With only five sessions to go Hants were 475 behind and they had no option but to bat as long as possible for bonus points only. Carberry was out cheaply chasing a wide one but Adams and the turgis Will smith batted out most of the day as Hampshire closed on 167 for 3.
Three wicketkeepers Surrey have an interesting problem on their hands. Davies has temporarily given up the gloves in order to concentrate on his batting and he now has trouble scoring runs. On the contraryWilson who is by some way the worst wicketkeeper I have seen recentlycannot stop scoring runs. In four oversof non spin from Ansari he managed to concede three lots of four byes, one of which was a stumping opportunity as Adams missed a full toss. His keeping standing back was also untidy. Surrey’s fielding would look so much better with Davies back or maybe Burns should have a go.
In County Cricket play goes on until 6pm or until 96 overs have been bowledin the day. I have trouble understanding why spectators are denied two overs if a side is all out and a new innings starts but that’s another issue. On this day the light became a little gloomy and the floodlights were on from about 5pm. Two spinners were bowling to two entrenched batsmen and so the 94 overs were completed by 5.40pm. We were looking forward to a bonus twenty minutes of play but were defeated by the new regulation that says that play cannot be extended if the lights are in use. This is plainly ridiculous as why have the lights at all!
At the Lord’s test match on day one the players came off in bright sunshine after only 89 of the scheduled 90 overs had been bowled by 6.30pm. On day two it was even worse as only 84 overs were bowled. The spectators should demand a rebate on their admission fees!
And then he went to the Cheltenham festival
Day 1 Fine innings from Tavare and Gidman. The latter alkways bats,bowls and fields well when I see him. Also he is English. Can Ben Stokes really be that much better?
Day 2 Five wickets for the promising nineteen year old, Tom Taylor, and great support from Palladino whose Mum hollers with every wicket.
Slater looked composed for Derby and Chanderpaul’s stance was as wierd as ever but they batted Derbyshire into a winning position. Gloucestershire have discarded Rouse, a wicketkeeper, who could not get into the Three Wicketkeepers Surrey XI.
The worst of times – Annual sub for the Kennington Club c£1500, beer $4.80 a pint, prepacked sandwich £4. Attendance at last match-one(me).
The best of times – At Cheltenham the annual sub for the Charlton Kings Club is £12.50, beer £3 a pint, food hot curry rolls and fresh baps. Attendance 300. Is there a moral here?
Two thirds of the way through the club season and WGCCC still top. What could possibly go wrong? Owais Shah has left for the Caribbean to take the T20 shilling and who would blame him? But the team is not a one man outfit and three games have been won without him.
Minor Counties Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
I went to the lovely Berkshire ground at Finchampstead for the visit of Herefordshire starting on 20 July. Hereford got off to a steady, but unspectacular start as Liam Gwynne (43), Aussie Dave Ball (61), Brad Wadlan, who has already represented four first class counties at the age of 25 (46), and Baz Stebbings (41) guided them to 248 for 9 in their 90 over first innings, with slow left armer "Monty" Singh taking 3 for 40. If this looked like a decent but unexceptional score, the Berks batsmen soon made it look like a very good one as they collapsed to 117 all out in 54.3 overs with only Harry Stephens (38), Andy Rishton (23) and opening bowler Matt Carter (19*) reaching double figures; left arm spinner Ali Agsad was the most successful bowler with 3 for 9.
I heard visiting captain Dave Exall saying that he had no intention of getting Berks in to bat again before the close on day 2, but that was exactly what he did as fine batting by Gwynne (73), Nitesh Patel (90) and Ball (57) allowed him to declare late on day 2 at 268-4, setting Berks 400 to win. The home team quickly declined to 27-3, but ex-Loughborough and Hampshire man Richie Morris (116) played probably the best innings of the match to keep Berks in with the chance of saving the match, especially when he was joined by keeper Stew Davison (45) in a sixth wicket stand of 98, but the tail subsided fairly gently as the visitors won by 163 runs with quick left armer Willie Barrett taking 4 for 40, seamer Ball 3 for 45 and keeper Joe Dodd picking up 3 catches. Ex-Middlesex man Robbie Williams bowled quite well for Berks, but took only one wicket and I was surprised to see him batting as low as 10 in a fairly weak team as he had scored runs for Middx 2s up at no 7.
Hedgcock Matters
Murray hedgcock sent me this
The Professor is I fear “stirring the possums” as we say in the Antipodes, with his complaint that snobbery is the cause of our interest in, or at any rate the recording of, the educational background of firstclass cricketers. Surely it is more significant than that. We gain an insight into the cricketing origins and growth of a player if we learn that he went to an independent school, to be coached or playing several days a week, on excellent wickets, under the helpful eye of a master-in-charge and a professional coach, or instead had to fight his way through the club structure because his local council school had long since given up cricket. And the council school product deserves credit for resisting the blandishments of football, too often presented and accepted as the way ahead in sport or indeed a career for the ordinary working-class lad.
Australia currently debates the advantages or disadvantages of going to an independent school. One argument is that the teenager outside this system will play cricket early on with and against men through the tough club structure, while the boy at the fee-paying school for too long plays only against those of his own age, and when graduating to a club, finds it a harsh new world.
Pacey Matters
Brian Pacey sent me this
I was very saddened to hear that Alan Keates had passed away recently. Another of the “Bush” characters of the late 60’s has left us far too soon. When I joined the club in 1966, Alan was captain of the Saturday 2nd XI – a fine opening bowler who could wield the long handle, usually in the direction of “cow corner”. I only had the pleasure of playing with him twice after he left to teach in Eastbourne around 1968. The first occasion was a September 2nd XI game at home to Brentham. By now, Alan was bowling off-cutters off about 6 paces. We were playing on a slow turner and Alan stationed 3 short legs, with me at forward short! I can still remember sticking out my left hand to catch a firm defensive stroke off his bowling. Despite Alan taking several wickets, we were unable to break the 9th wicket partnership, and Brentham secured an honourable draw. The next occasion was a 3rd XI game at Beaconsfield in August, about 2 years later, when I was captaining. As usual at that time of year, we had quite a weak side and were struggling at about 90 – 7 when Alan came out to join me. We still had about half an hour to bat and I said to Alan that I was looking for about 140. No sooner said than done. In about 6 overs, Alan had rattled up about 40, all on the legside, whilst I scored 10 at the other end, and was able to declare at 4.50 with the total on 140. I can’t remember who opened the bowling after tea, but Alan soon came on as first change. It was a pleasure to have someone in the side who knew what field he wanted and was able to bowl to it. We won easily by about 60 runs, with Alan taking about 5 for 30. Unfortunately, that was the last time I played with him, although I did see him subsequently on his all too infrequent visits back to the “Bush”.
The Hon Jack Morgan was very uncomplimentary about Chris Rushworth’s bowling for Durham at Lords last year against Middlesex. Who does he think has been carrying the Durham attack this season in the absence of Onions, until his appearance in the slaughter by Warwickshire 2 weeks ago? Chris played for Sunderland in the North East Premier League and started with Durham several years ago, but was released because of disciplinary problems. He was told to go away and “sort himself out”. This he did, and was given a second chance 3 years ago. He is an honest “tryer”, probably a bit quicker than he looks, and can score useful tailend runs (witness the last wicket stand of 20 in Durham’s first innings total of 103 against Middlesex at Chester-le-Street last year). Durham eventually won a low scoring game by about 20 runs.
Now the comment about Collingwood’s refusal to agree a last day run chase at Hove against Sussex. Why should he, when, because of the ridiculous bonus points scoring system, by batting all day, he was able to secure 4 bonus points plus the draw points? There is something wrong with a system where both teams can secure more than 10 points (nearly half a win) in a drawn match. You don’t get bonus points in Test Matches, and the County Championship is supposed to be preparation for Test Cricket. I would also like to point out that two of Durham’s early season draws were at home to Somerset and Middlesex respectively, when the weather intervened to save the visiting teams on both occasions. Just in case someone thinks I’m blinkered in my approach to Durham, I can’t for the life of me understand why Collingwood put Yorkshire into bat at Headingley on a wicket he described as “looking as if a scarifier had just been dragged along it”. Surely, you bat on a wicket if you think it’s going to deteriorate.
To return to the bonus points system, at Scarborough last week, the first innings scores were Yorkshire 253, Middlesex 232. I would argue that these scores were equivalent to about 350 on the flat wickets on which most Division 1 games are played, because the ball started seaming around late on the first two afternoons when the tide came in. I would scrap the bonus points system and replace it with 10 points for a win, 3 for a draw and 0 for a loss. Surely, the point of cricket is to try to win the game, and if you can’t do that, then not to lose it. Sides shouldn’t be able to avoid relegation or gain promotion because they gathered a hatful of bonus points on flat wickets over the course of the season, and sometimes finish above a side that has won more games.
Sartorial Matters
In the last edition I published the following picture of George presenting Alex Brodie with the prize for winning his competition. The Googlies post bag has been bulging ever since not with praise for Alex’s skill in winning but rather with queries about George’s sartorial appearance. His T shirt seems to have got off lightly but his shorts have taken a terrible pounding.
Comments included:
“They match my sofa”
“Plenty of Victor in those, it seems.”
“I bet that they came free with incontinence pads”
“My mum’s got a blouse to match”
Somebody called Rebecca: “I wouldn’t want my dad seen dead in those.”
Googlies and Chinamen
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 140
August 2014
Horsham Blues
It was in glorious sunshine that I set out to pick up the Great Jack Morgan for a day’s cricket on the Thursday before the Old Danes Gathering. We opted to take in the fourth day of the County Championship match at Horsham rather than the third day of the Middlesex 2s epic battle at Hove. The Horsham match was well poised for an exciting day’s cricket. Sussex were 280 ahead with six second innings wickets in hand. They also had two of the biggest hitters in world cricket, Jordan and Wright, at the crease.
But best laid plans etc. We had left ourselves ample time not to have to hurry but hadn’t taken into account traffic in Hampton, diversions at Oxshott and road works at Leatherhead. We eventually parked on the outfield of the second ground which is at the Railway end of the ground according to the tannoy announcer. Strangely there is no sign of a railway anywhere and we heard no trains throughout the day. We had travelled to park beyond the sign that had allowed us to park on the grasscrete if normal parking around the pavilion was not available. How many of you have parked on grasscrete or would even have known if you had?
Whilst I busied myself seeking out scorecards Jack found seats unexpectedly vacant next to the sightscreen at the Railway end. Is inflation in scorecard prices the highest amongst all consumer goods? Where else can you charge £1 for a piece of A4 card? I have only been to Horsham CC once before and that was in 1964 on the South Hampstead CC Sussex tour. I have previously recounted in these pages how when Harry Collins dropped a nick off Don Wallis’ first ball of the match his epithet of “Fuck it” echoed round the ground. However, I didn’t recognize much if anything and suspected that the pavilion, dressing rooms and tea rooms had all been built since my last visit. But it all looked splendid and we were all set for the entertainment to begin.
Chris Woakes kicked things off from the Railway end and got significant bounce at little more than medium pace. This kept Wright in his crease but at the other end Jeetan Patel looked almost unplayable. 960 runs had been scored on the first three days - this looked a mystery on the evidence available on the fourth morning. Wright was caught head high at slip off Patel and then Jordan wafted at and was caught behind off Woakes. So much for the anticipated fireworks. When Piolet edged Patel for the first boundary of the morning after 30 minutes the difficulties in batting were underlined. Patel could have cleaned up the tail but Hain made no attempt to catch a lob off the glove at short leg claiming the sun had blinded him and then Ambrose underlined his England wicket keeping credentials by missing a straightforward catch.
There are unofficial drinks breaks between almost every over but they still have the formal ones every hour and so at noon a veritable picnic took place. But it was all a complete waste of time as Piolet slapped a tennis shot off Rankin to mid off from the first ball of the restart and Joyce called them in. Rankin - remember him? He was first choice giant quick at the beginning of the Ashes series. A Warwickshire supporter explained to Jack and me why he comes on after forty overs and even after Trott for his county side. Apparently coach Dougie Brown earmarks only certain opposition batsmen he wants him to bowl at and so he is held back until they come to the crease. Completely mad.
Warwicks needed 326 to win from 77 overs. Ambrose came out mysteriously with Chopra to open the innings. More Dougie Brown. He was protecting his left handers from the off spinners, apparently. When did he think that they were going to bowl? In the event Jordan, despite an erratic run up, from the Railway end was unplayable and removed Chopra, Porterfield and Trott before lunch which was taken after fifty minutes at 10 for 3. Magoffin, the scourge of Middlesex, extracted substantial bounce from short of a length and caused much discomfort to the Warwickshire top order. After lunch the completely bald Lewis Hatchett relieved Jordan and he soon removed Westwood but Ambrose tucked into some overpitched stuff. Meanwhile at the other end the completely bald James Tredwell caused as many problems as Patel had earlier and he dismissed Hain and Clarke in the same over to reduce Warwicks to 46 for 6.
We had long since accepted that there was to be no chase but Woakes and Ambrose set about restoring some respectability and they doubled the score. However, part time offie, Chris Nash, was given a bowl and turned one enough to get through Ambrose’s defence. Nash’ celebration was outrageous and was clearly influenced by former team mate Monty Panesar. In the next over Woakes was caught off Tredwell and they all trooped off for tea.
Things didn’t last an over when play resumed. Jack told me that Patel could bat but he was bowled by Tredwell and then Barker was run out in a manner that would have done England proud. The last four wickets had fallen without the addition of a run. We had seen 120 runs in four hours for the loss of fifteen wickets. Tredwell whose Championship wicket tally was 5 at over 70 apiece finished with 4 for 7 from 13 overs. As we prematurely packed up our bags the announcer thanked Horsham CC for producing an excellent wicket for a Championship match. I then jocularly added that it was OK as long as you won the toss. My neighbour who had hitherto been silent then embarked on a tirade which included accusing me of sour grapes and he pointed out that my man Trott had scored a hundred. Puzzled as we walked back to the car Jack surmised that he was probably a Horsham member worried about losing the county week if the wicket was criticised. I was still upset at being mistaken for a Warwicks supporter.
We set off back to Hampton and master navigator Jack found us selected traffic jams at the A24, the M25 and at Chessington but skillfully avoided Putney Bridge which was closed.
Postscript
By chance I bumped into Ian McClelland, a Sussex life member who had been at the first three days, at the OD Gathering the following day. He noted: “Sorry your trip to Horsham didn’t turn out to be the exciting run chase you hoped for. I spoke yesterday to a chum who was there all four days and he did agree the wicket was dry and worn. However it was a typical day four pitch which was also the view of the umpires. He made the point that if Sussex had held their catches, Warwicks would have been lucky to get 200 in the first innings. In the second Jordon and Treadwell bowled much better and the catches were taken, so 99 was only a bit below expectation.”
Out and About with the Professor
July, it would be fair to say, has been a somewhat strange sporting month in North Yorkshire. For about a week, early in the month, my home town was besieged. Access and egress were impossible. Roads were blocked, diversions in place. And the cause of these obstructions? Well, sport… I suppose.
For some weeks (months even) beforehand, miles of oddly configured bunting had been put up, resembling tiny little jerseys. Shops, houses, municipal buildings of every sort began to be decorated in yellow. Local shepherds were reported having painted their sheep yellow (or green, or polka dot) and some people even repainted their cars or houses in a similar way.
The object of this mass delirium was a French push-bike race. Why a French push-bike race was taking place in Yorkshire was never adequately explained, but that it was became an object of unalloyed municipal pride and anyone who wasn't beside themselves with excitement was held to be at best a misery and at worst a sort of regional traitor. Your correspondent was, needless-to-say, a member of a very small minority (...again).
The most visible sign of all this tosh was the appearance of bicycles all over the place. Not being ridden, but being taken from sheds and garages, painted yellow and tied to trees, lamp-posts, gates, railings, stuck halfway up walls, fixed to church towers, etc. There cannot have been an unserviceable bike within a 50 mile radius that hadn't got the yellow spray treatment.
And there was an important local element. The star man, called Cavendish, had local connections. His mum lived in the town and his uncle had a bike shop. So, push-bike delirium duly set in. Elderly men who had not been on a bike in years suddenly appeared head-to-toe in Lycra (an unforgiving textile) and started peddling around. Residents became expert in the rules of the race and started to speculate about tactics within “le peloton”, or who would be sprint champion or be crowned "king of the mountains" (as a bike ride through Skipton came to be called). The Coach and Horses, close to the winning line, was re-christened the "Cav and Horses" in the great man's honour. Even O-level French was dusted off and we were all "Ça va?" ing each other.
Followers of the English cricket team know where all this hubris leads...it leads to a fall. And so it did. Moreover the fall was no metaphor. Shortly before the finishing line and the eponymous pub, our man Cavendish fell off his bike, fractured his collar-bone (or something) and took no further part in the race. Quel dommage! (Subsequently the whole silly business went back to France, several more English – or Englishish - riders fell off, and no one has spoken about it since). Having rid ourselves of bicycles the town was then besieged by Landrovers and tractors for four days of the “Great Yorkshire Show”. More unusual sports - competitive hoof trimming and single-handed sheep gelding – to excite us all.
Sandwiching all this were two cricket matches. The first saw a not very impressive Durham side hang on for a draw at Headingley and a similarly limited Middlesex side lose quite comfortably at Scarborough. As a result Yorkshire now sit prettily on top of the league and, from what I've seen this year, are good value for the top spot. The principal obstruction to a win against Durham was the considerable one of Paul Collingwood, ably assisted by the Yorkshire weather. The only resistance from Middlesex came in the form of wicket-keeper Simpson, who proved to not be so obdurate and the Scarborough climate, which had briefly turned tropical, didn’t offer any succour. Durham's Wood bowled with some enthusiasm and pace and proved able to pitch it in the batsman's half in a way that the England bowlers didn't manage to do in the Second Test. He has a slightly strange style to his run-up in that he doesn't gradually accelerate; rather he starts as if he is in the sprinting blocks and dashes in off a resultantly shortish run. Still he bowled well. The other Durham player who looked the part (although not scoring heavily) was the opener Jennings - a tall upright correct looking player. Playfair records Wood as being born in Ashington, which is good enough birth credentials for most sports, while Jennings has impeccable credentials as a future England player, having been born in Johannesburg. Lyth scored hundreds in both games and Sidebottom proved there is life in the ageing dog with a 7-fer. For Yorkshire fans of championship cricket that is it now until mid-August. Let’s trust they are not all out of form by then.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
Middlesex made one change for the Championship match against rock bottom Northamptonshire at Lord’s starting on June 29th, Nick Gubbins making his Championship debut at the expense of Paul Stirling; personally, I thought this was a bit harsh on Paul, who is averaging 69 in first class cricket this season cf Joe Denly's average of 29.5 or Neil Dexter's 34. Stephen Peters won the toss for Northants and decided to field first, which surprised some as the pitch looked full of runs despite its usual greenish tinge. Skipper Chris Rogers and Gubbins got Middlesex off to a great start with a stand of 128 for the first wicket before Gubbins fell for a very promising 54 from 113 balls with 6 fours and a six. Rogers went on to an excellent 86 from 152 balls with 10 fours and a six, but the remainder of the innings was dominated by a terrific effort from Dawid Malan. Eoin Morgan helped him add 62, Dexter shared a stand of 51, but his main collaborator was John Simpson, who played a fine innings of 67 off 123 balls with 9 fours and a six during another outstanding partnership of 128 for the sixth wicket. Dawid accelerated his scoring rate towards the end of his innings to allow Rogers to declare on 488 for 9 with Malan on 154* from 258 balls with 19 fours and a six; it was Dawid's first ton in the Championship for two years. Ex-Surrey offspinner Matt Spriegel picked up 3 for 26 at the end of the innings as Middlesex went for the big slog.
Northants lost three early wickets at the start of their reply, but ex-Middlesex 2s man James Kettleborough, on his Championship debut, held firm and played some good shots in his 73 off 169 balls with 9 fours. The score was 168 for 6 when Kettleborough departed and things looked grim for the visitors, but actually the situation immediately brightened for them as South African Test allrounder Andrew Hall, already playing well, was joined by ex-Middx allrounder Steve Crook. As is his wont, Crooky went for his shots right from the start and his stand of 144 with Hall transformed the match before Hall became the fourth victim for Steve Finn after a fine 75 off 151 balls with 9 fours. Crook was not finished yet though as ex-Essex pace bowler Maurice Chambers helped him add 57 for the eighth wicket before Crook finally fell for a brilliant 131 (his maiden first class hundred) off 124 balls with 23 fours. Young allrounder Rob Keogh was absent with a broken finger so the Northants innings closed with 9 wickets down at 384, Finn finishing with a creditable 4 for 110 from 29 persevering overs.
Middlesex needed quick runs in their second innings as time had been lost to the weather on both of the first two days and these came from Morgan. Malan assisted in a third wicket partnership of 68 and when Rogers declared on 199 for 5, Eoin had reached a very impressive 81* off 95 balls with 6 fours and 2 sixes. This set Northants 304 to win in 56 overs, which I thought was a very fair target given the perfect weather, as placid a pitch as Lord's has seen for a long time giving little assistance to either pace or spin and the option that was open to the visitors of sending Crooky in early to give themselves a chance of victory. Of course, the reality was that we never saw Crook and we never saw anything worth watching either as the visitors crawled to 82 for 3 off 46 overs to ruin a beautiful day. Northants were obviously happy with their position in the table and saw no reason to seek a win: another triumph for the ludicrous 5 points for a draw loonies! Middlesex 12 points Northants 10: it was only the second time this season that Northants had avoided defeat in the Championship, but they are still 60 points behind eighth placed Sussex, so how much good have 10 points done them compared to the 21 they might have got from the win? Perhaps they prefer Second Division cricket?
Middlesex restored Paul Stirling to the line up in place of Joe Denly for the Championship match against Somerset at Uxbridge starting on July 7th. Chris Rogers won the toss and elected to bat and things were looking good for Middlesex as Nick Gubbins and Dawid Malan added 109 for the second wicket before Gubbins became one of three victims for Alex Barrow (deputising behind the stumps for Craig Kieswetter) after a very useful 59 off 129 balls with 8 fours and a six. Malan has hit a rich vein of form at present, but none of his other partners looked convincing until he was joined by Stirling, batting surprisingly low at no 7, with the score on 220 for 5. After a stand of 59 for the sixth wicket, Dawid finally fell for an excellent 124 off 218 balls with 24 fours. Stirling played some impressive shots in his 56 from 101 balls with 8 fours and Toby Roland-Jones made an entertaining 31 from 42 balls, but Middlesex collapsed to a rather disappointing 338 all out from 97.5 overs and this was largely due to some energetic pace bowling from the giant Craig Overton, twin brother of Jamie who had played against Middlesex at Lord's last season. In the early part of the match, the pitch was very lively and Overton generated plenty of pace and bounce which caused problems for the wicket keeper as well as the batsmen. The Middlesex lower order could not cope with Overton and he collected 4 for 84 as the tail surrendered rather tamely. Ex-Middlesex allrounder Peter Trego picked up 3 for 67.
The Middlesex pace bowlers also enjoyed the conditions and soon had Somerset struggling on 28 for 3, but ex-Middlesex batsman Nick Compton was playing soundly and he was joined by ex-Millfield man James Hildreth who played attractively for 53 from 65 balls with 8 fours in a fourth wicket stand of 75. Barrow also played well for 36 in a partnership of 84 until he was disastrously run out in a horrible mix up with Compton. The latter was playing a very dull, but valuable innings as wickets fell at the other end until he himself became the third victim for Steve Finn (3 for 80) for 94 from 278 balls with 9 fours, whereupon captain Marcus Trescothick immediately declared on 264 for 9 after 98.1 overs, giving Middx a lead of 74. Rogers and Neil Dexter both failed for the second time in the match, but the other home batsmen all played impressively as the pace and bounce in the track slowly disappeared. Gubbins made his highest Championship score of 95 from 172 balls with 11 fours and 2 sixes, Malan made 48 from 68 balls with 8 fours, Eoin Morgan contributed 62 from 94 balls with 9 fours and a six, Stirling (rightly promoted to no 5) hit a very quick 60* from 45 balls with 6 fours and a six (which took him to the top of the Middlesex batting averages), while John Simpson hit 29* from 27 balls as he and Stirling added 49 in 28 minutes before Rogers declared on 315 for 5 after 69 overs, setting Somerset 390 to win in 72 overs.
If this seems like the declaration was delayed too long, I think it was understandable as all the pace and bounce had disappeared from the pitch and the spinners were not getting much assistance either. Also Middlesex's recent defeat at Trent Bridge when Notts chased down 387 in 75 overs to beat them by 6 wickets may well have been preying on Rogers's mind. There seemed little chance of a result unless the visitors could be persuaded to chase a difficult target, but when they sank to 61 for 3, there was little chance that they would go for the runs and not much of a hope that Middlesex would be able to bowl them out either. Compton (83* off 136 balls with 10 fours) played more fluently than he had done in the first innings and Hildreth again played his shots in his 60 off 68 balls with 12 fours, but the combination of the time lost on days one and two and the lifeless pitch meant that there was no chance of either side forcing the win and Somerset closed on 203 for 4 after 57 overs. Middlesex 11 points, Somerset 10. Middlesex are fourth in the table, 2 points behind Somerset (and 20 points behind leaders Yorkshire), but some teams have a game in hand.
Is Dhoni Mad?
M.S. Dhoni is a living legend and no one seems to be prepared to question anything he does. On India’s last tour I was at Lord’s for the first day when Dhoni decided to go into a five day test with just four bowlers. One of them Zaheer Khan limped off before lunch in the morning session. Dhoni then removed his pads and bowled dross medium pacers in the afternoon session. At Lord’s this year he decided to stand back to Jadeja’s slow left armers for no satisfactory tactical reason. It simply looked daft and the sight was reminiscent of a primary school match.
At the Aegeas Bowl he decided to use his bowlers in eighteen one over spells. When interviewed none of them was brave enough to say what they really thought and so I considered asking Bill Hart how he would have responded to being captained in such a way. But then I thought better of it as I knew what his answer would be: “He must be mad!”
Kennington Club Matters
Paddy Carlin sends us another report from his exalted home from home
Overnight Surrey 382 for 5; Roy 114 not out,Wilson 60 not out.
Jason Roy was out first ball and so my usual luck with this player continues. Previously I had seen him last three balls - a leading edge and two LBW appeals the second of which was successful. Surrey’s hope of a massive score were scuppered as Wilson and O’Brien also went cheaply but Batty and Linley of all peopleadded nearly fifty. Linley is another player who would be an automatic number eleven had Dernbachnot existed.
With only five sessions to go Hants were 475 behind and they had no option but to bat as long as possible for bonus points only. Carberry was out cheaply chasing a wide one but Adams and the turgis Will smith batted out most of the day as Hampshire closed on 167 for 3.
Three wicketkeepers Surrey have an interesting problem on their hands. Davies has temporarily given up the gloves in order to concentrate on his batting and he now has trouble scoring runs. On the contraryWilson who is by some way the worst wicketkeeper I have seen recentlycannot stop scoring runs. In four oversof non spin from Ansari he managed to concede three lots of four byes, one of which was a stumping opportunity as Adams missed a full toss. His keeping standing back was also untidy. Surrey’s fielding would look so much better with Davies back or maybe Burns should have a go.
In County Cricket play goes on until 6pm or until 96 overs have been bowledin the day. I have trouble understanding why spectators are denied two overs if a side is all out and a new innings starts but that’s another issue. On this day the light became a little gloomy and the floodlights were on from about 5pm. Two spinners were bowling to two entrenched batsmen and so the 94 overs were completed by 5.40pm. We were looking forward to a bonus twenty minutes of play but were defeated by the new regulation that says that play cannot be extended if the lights are in use. This is plainly ridiculous as why have the lights at all!
At the Lord’s test match on day one the players came off in bright sunshine after only 89 of the scheduled 90 overs had been bowled by 6.30pm. On day two it was even worse as only 84 overs were bowled. The spectators should demand a rebate on their admission fees!
And then he went to the Cheltenham festival
Day 1 Fine innings from Tavare and Gidman. The latter alkways bats,bowls and fields well when I see him. Also he is English. Can Ben Stokes really be that much better?
Day 2 Five wickets for the promising nineteen year old, Tom Taylor, and great support from Palladino whose Mum hollers with every wicket.
Slater looked composed for Derby and Chanderpaul’s stance was as wierd as ever but they batted Derbyshire into a winning position. Gloucestershire have discarded Rouse, a wicketkeeper, who could not get into the Three Wicketkeepers Surrey XI.
The worst of times – Annual sub for the Kennington Club c£1500, beer $4.80 a pint, prepacked sandwich £4. Attendance at last match-one(me).
The best of times – At Cheltenham the annual sub for the Charlton Kings Club is £12.50, beer £3 a pint, food hot curry rolls and fresh baps. Attendance 300. Is there a moral here?
Two thirds of the way through the club season and WGCCC still top. What could possibly go wrong? Owais Shah has left for the Caribbean to take the T20 shilling and who would blame him? But the team is not a one man outfit and three games have been won without him.
Minor Counties Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
I went to the lovely Berkshire ground at Finchampstead for the visit of Herefordshire starting on 20 July. Hereford got off to a steady, but unspectacular start as Liam Gwynne (43), Aussie Dave Ball (61), Brad Wadlan, who has already represented four first class counties at the age of 25 (46), and Baz Stebbings (41) guided them to 248 for 9 in their 90 over first innings, with slow left armer "Monty" Singh taking 3 for 40. If this looked like a decent but unexceptional score, the Berks batsmen soon made it look like a very good one as they collapsed to 117 all out in 54.3 overs with only Harry Stephens (38), Andy Rishton (23) and opening bowler Matt Carter (19*) reaching double figures; left arm spinner Ali Agsad was the most successful bowler with 3 for 9.
I heard visiting captain Dave Exall saying that he had no intention of getting Berks in to bat again before the close on day 2, but that was exactly what he did as fine batting by Gwynne (73), Nitesh Patel (90) and Ball (57) allowed him to declare late on day 2 at 268-4, setting Berks 400 to win. The home team quickly declined to 27-3, but ex-Loughborough and Hampshire man Richie Morris (116) played probably the best innings of the match to keep Berks in with the chance of saving the match, especially when he was joined by keeper Stew Davison (45) in a sixth wicket stand of 98, but the tail subsided fairly gently as the visitors won by 163 runs with quick left armer Willie Barrett taking 4 for 40, seamer Ball 3 for 45 and keeper Joe Dodd picking up 3 catches. Ex-Middlesex man Robbie Williams bowled quite well for Berks, but took only one wicket and I was surprised to see him batting as low as 10 in a fairly weak team as he had scored runs for Middx 2s up at no 7.
Hedgcock Matters
Murray hedgcock sent me this
The Professor is I fear “stirring the possums” as we say in the Antipodes, with his complaint that snobbery is the cause of our interest in, or at any rate the recording of, the educational background of firstclass cricketers. Surely it is more significant than that. We gain an insight into the cricketing origins and growth of a player if we learn that he went to an independent school, to be coached or playing several days a week, on excellent wickets, under the helpful eye of a master-in-charge and a professional coach, or instead had to fight his way through the club structure because his local council school had long since given up cricket. And the council school product deserves credit for resisting the blandishments of football, too often presented and accepted as the way ahead in sport or indeed a career for the ordinary working-class lad.
Australia currently debates the advantages or disadvantages of going to an independent school. One argument is that the teenager outside this system will play cricket early on with and against men through the tough club structure, while the boy at the fee-paying school for too long plays only against those of his own age, and when graduating to a club, finds it a harsh new world.
Pacey Matters
Brian Pacey sent me this
I was very saddened to hear that Alan Keates had passed away recently. Another of the “Bush” characters of the late 60’s has left us far too soon. When I joined the club in 1966, Alan was captain of the Saturday 2nd XI – a fine opening bowler who could wield the long handle, usually in the direction of “cow corner”. I only had the pleasure of playing with him twice after he left to teach in Eastbourne around 1968. The first occasion was a September 2nd XI game at home to Brentham. By now, Alan was bowling off-cutters off about 6 paces. We were playing on a slow turner and Alan stationed 3 short legs, with me at forward short! I can still remember sticking out my left hand to catch a firm defensive stroke off his bowling. Despite Alan taking several wickets, we were unable to break the 9th wicket partnership, and Brentham secured an honourable draw. The next occasion was a 3rd XI game at Beaconsfield in August, about 2 years later, when I was captaining. As usual at that time of year, we had quite a weak side and were struggling at about 90 – 7 when Alan came out to join me. We still had about half an hour to bat and I said to Alan that I was looking for about 140. No sooner said than done. In about 6 overs, Alan had rattled up about 40, all on the legside, whilst I scored 10 at the other end, and was able to declare at 4.50 with the total on 140. I can’t remember who opened the bowling after tea, but Alan soon came on as first change. It was a pleasure to have someone in the side who knew what field he wanted and was able to bowl to it. We won easily by about 60 runs, with Alan taking about 5 for 30. Unfortunately, that was the last time I played with him, although I did see him subsequently on his all too infrequent visits back to the “Bush”.
The Hon Jack Morgan was very uncomplimentary about Chris Rushworth’s bowling for Durham at Lords last year against Middlesex. Who does he think has been carrying the Durham attack this season in the absence of Onions, until his appearance in the slaughter by Warwickshire 2 weeks ago? Chris played for Sunderland in the North East Premier League and started with Durham several years ago, but was released because of disciplinary problems. He was told to go away and “sort himself out”. This he did, and was given a second chance 3 years ago. He is an honest “tryer”, probably a bit quicker than he looks, and can score useful tailend runs (witness the last wicket stand of 20 in Durham’s first innings total of 103 against Middlesex at Chester-le-Street last year). Durham eventually won a low scoring game by about 20 runs.
Now the comment about Collingwood’s refusal to agree a last day run chase at Hove against Sussex. Why should he, when, because of the ridiculous bonus points scoring system, by batting all day, he was able to secure 4 bonus points plus the draw points? There is something wrong with a system where both teams can secure more than 10 points (nearly half a win) in a drawn match. You don’t get bonus points in Test Matches, and the County Championship is supposed to be preparation for Test Cricket. I would also like to point out that two of Durham’s early season draws were at home to Somerset and Middlesex respectively, when the weather intervened to save the visiting teams on both occasions. Just in case someone thinks I’m blinkered in my approach to Durham, I can’t for the life of me understand why Collingwood put Yorkshire into bat at Headingley on a wicket he described as “looking as if a scarifier had just been dragged along it”. Surely, you bat on a wicket if you think it’s going to deteriorate.
To return to the bonus points system, at Scarborough last week, the first innings scores were Yorkshire 253, Middlesex 232. I would argue that these scores were equivalent to about 350 on the flat wickets on which most Division 1 games are played, because the ball started seaming around late on the first two afternoons when the tide came in. I would scrap the bonus points system and replace it with 10 points for a win, 3 for a draw and 0 for a loss. Surely, the point of cricket is to try to win the game, and if you can’t do that, then not to lose it. Sides shouldn’t be able to avoid relegation or gain promotion because they gathered a hatful of bonus points on flat wickets over the course of the season, and sometimes finish above a side that has won more games.
Sartorial Matters
In the last edition I published the following picture of George presenting Alex Brodie with the prize for winning his competition. The Googlies post bag has been bulging ever since not with praise for Alex’s skill in winning but rather with queries about George’s sartorial appearance. His T shirt seems to have got off lightly but his shorts have taken a terrible pounding.
Comments included:
“They match my sofa”
“Plenty of Victor in those, it seems.”
“I bet that they came free with incontinence pads”
“My mum’s got a blouse to match”
Somebody called Rebecca: “I wouldn’t want my dad seen dead in those.”
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