G&C 181
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 181
January 2018
Old Wanker’s Almanack
When I bumped into himself over the Christmas period he was nauseatingly smug about his performance last year, in particular, over the calling of the snap election. Needless to say, he didn’t take much persuading to come up with his predictions for 2018.
January
Michael Vaughan says that things have got so bad in the fast bowling department that Steve Harmison should be recalled to the England team for the next test.
Teresa May says that the £38m Brexit deal was the result of a fabulous negotiation and she will not agree to a penny more.
Sam Allardyce resigns as manager of Everton. He says that there is no challenge in managing a winning side.
Damian Green gets a new job as editor of Playboy UK.
Pornography is found on Jenni Murray’s computer.
February
The LGBTI community insist that it should have its own side in the Premier League. It somewhat backfires when fans everywhere call the team the “Nancy Boys”.
This heralds a general backlash against all Politically Correct attitudes. Dianne Abbott is generally referred to as a “Jumped Up Slapper” and, after years in rehab, Andy Gray and Ron Atkinson are hired by the media to write headlines in their inimitable style. A new Anti PC party is launched called “When boys were boys and girls were girls”.
Mark Hughes is fired as manager of Stoke. He is replaced by Paul Clement.
Teresa May extends the re-housing schedule of the Grenfell Tower displaced residents from three weeks to three years. She mutters something about having better things to do.
Following their resurgence Gary Linekar describes Leicester as the new Leicester.
Pornography is found on Shirley Williams’ computer.
In an attempt to distract media attention from the horrors of a post Brexit Britain, David Davies shamelessly encourages anti Trump demonstrations. In Trafalgar Square banners read “Not welcome Here”, “Tweet off”, “Keep your hands to yourself”. Trump responds with a tweet saying “OK, I’ll stay here and you can forget your trade deal.” David Davies resigns.
The payment to leave the EU goes up to £50m. No one says a word.
March
The Brexiteers become increasingly frustrated by the lack of progress on negotiations. They ask Donald Trump to build a wall around London and the South East.
Roy Hodgson is fired as manager of Crystal Palace. He is replaced by Mark Hughes.
At Prime Minister’s Questions Jeremy Corbin asks: “In the light of record waiting times at A&Es across England, Rest Homes closing through lack of funding and the homeless on the streets how does she justify the continued government support of elite and effete arts activities such as the National Opera?” May: “We are doing all we can”. Corbyn “No, you aren’t”.
The DUP ask for more cash from Teresa May for their continued support. Brussels offers to pay it to keep the Brexit talks going.
The BBC finally admits that it is guilty of propagating Fake News since all of its output is delivered from a soft and woolly liberal viewpoint.
The Nancy Boys striker goes into the wrong designated toilet and when challenged says “It doesn’t mater how you feel, it’s who you feel”.
Pornography is found on Henry Blofeld’s computer.
April
In the Claptrap annual review of Irritating Words & Phrases the winners were “like”, “init” and “literally”. A new female category had to be created as no man had ever been heard to utter the dreaded “Hey-Ho” and “Yaaaay”.
After multiple Commons defeats Teresa May reluctantly goes to the polls. The new PM, Jeremy Corbyn, abandons all EU withdrawal talks and the EU, with a sigh of relief, agrees to the UK’s continued membership.
Relegated Newcastle sack their manager, Rafael Benitez. He is replaced by Roy Hodgson.
In Middlesex’ first match at Lord’s in the second division the pitch is invaded by LGBGTI protestors. The match is abandoned, and Middlesex are docked points for their slow over rate.
Pornography is found on Justin Welby’s computer.
May
Mark Wood withdraws from the first test with a recurring injury. His replacement, Steve Finn, also withdraws with a niggle.
President Corbyn cancels the Royal wedding, grants independence to Scotland and nationalizes the public schools.
Lord Guardiola of Etihad says that he will not relax after his Ferguson beating four major trophy wins.
The recreational use of cannabis is legalized in Islington.
Nigel Farage becomes the new leader of the Conservative Party.
The ECB decides to go ahead with the second test despite the obliteration of Texas and Southern California by a North Korean ballistic attack.
June
As a result of demonstrations at test matches the ECB appoints a new security firm, “Stokes, Duckett and Bairstow”, to “deal” with the problem.
Following continued criticism of him from the UK, President Trump arranges for Facebook and Twitter to be turned off for all UK users.
Manchester, Bristol, Leeds, Edinburgh and Glasgow all suffer terrorist drone attacks.
America continues to withdraw from international affairs. A summit is called of the key international players: China, India, Japan, Russia, Saudi Arabia and the EU.
July
The LGBTI pressure group eventually gets its way and all public buildings are required by the end of the year to have six distinct lavatories catering to the sexual preferences of its constituents. The mandate extends to Schools, Workplaces, Stadia and theatres. This aggregates to the biggest public works programme of all time. Within weeks unemployment is eliminated, the economy picks up and austerity becomes a thing of the past. John Maynard Keynes smiles in his grave.
Out and About with the Professor
So...(almost all Australian sentences begin with "so", always excepting those that go in for the more loquacious: "Aw look").
So...at last something for the visiting supporters to cheer about, and there are lots of us...thousands. The new "G" is a magnificent stadium but it is not beautiful, indeed some character has been lost. Glass and concrete are effective building materials, but they don't quite have the charm of wood panelling. The whole thing is a complete arena, four tiers high; a bigger (and better) version of the Gabba. It means, apart from the huge audiences, that sounds resonate...something that the Barmy Army discovered quite early.
Few people, I think, would regard Cook as an elegant batsman but what an effective one. Given his previous form, his was a wonderful innings. It has been boiling hot here and to hold that level of concentration was a feat in itself but he played at virtually the same pace throughout. He has, as we all know, his four shots: pull, cut, work off the hip and drive down the ground and he played them better and better as the day went on. His straight driving in particular was faultless. In between all that there was the usual prodding and poking which never looks good but is generally very effective and to be the first person to carry his bat at the MCG is pretty much a definition of effective.
Both captains have some strange (to my mind) ideas about field placing. It seems sometimes as if they both are keen to show their "innovative" credentials. Doubtless there is something to be said for inventiveness, but I couldn't see a case for the second over of the Test being bowled by Broad to a "sweeper" on the cover boundary. OK if Warner is belting the ball to all parts, but the seventh ball of the match? Smith has caught the fashionable urge to have a short extra-cover much of the time, but I felt that three short-extras to Cook was overdoing it just a touch. Cook just hit the ball through or past anyway.
The other star of the show was of course Jackson Bird. There had been the usual Press-contrived "row" about Bird before the game. Anderson gave a perfectly sensible interview saying that Australia didn't have an endless supply of fast bowlers and indeed Bird who was likely to play in the 4th Test and he was no quicker than himself. This became "loser pom Anderson slams Bird" in the "Herald Sun" and the scene was set for the match. With figures of 0-100 Jackson found himself down at the site of the old Bay 13 in front of the Barmy Army. We have discussed the Army in this journal many times and there are, I know, Googlies readers who disapprove. I do not. I think they are quite splendid, especially from a distance of about 150 yards, which is how far they are from where we are sitting. It would be fair to say that they got on Jackson's case. They began with the old favourite: "He bowls to the left, he bowls to the right, that Jackson Bird's bowling is shite". Thence to: "All we are saying, is give Bird a bowl" and so on. We are with Gladstone Small and his young lady here and he recalls fielding in that spot and being pelted with apples, half-eaten pies, cans and, inevitably, bananas. The Army just throw insults.
To Bird's great credit he did exactly the right thing. Instead of showing annoyance he played to the crowd, got them mimicking his warm-up stretches and knees bends and in the end had a couple of thousand English people singing: "We love you Jackson, we do". But his bowling didn't improve.
Indeed this drop-in pitch is not easy to bowl on. For England to wrap up the first innings with 7 for 80 odd was a great effort helped, of course, by three played-ons. England would have had a much higher first innings score if two men hadn't been given out to balls they had hit. How they did not realise that is a mystery indeed. I read that the previous first-class games played here this season had all ended in draws and so this one was no great surprise. I feel sure that would have been the result even without the rain although why they don't have proper covers in Australia I have no idea. It has rained at three of the grounds so far and none of them have anything better than plastic sheets. Many village teams in England have better covers than the Melbourne Cricket Club.
Still, it has been a decent performance by England and has stopped the rot.
So...at last we have something the cheer about.
This and That
Long term readers of this Journal will know that I am a big fan of the amazing Virendar Sehwag who suffered from having to play his career in the shadow of Sachin Tendulkar. I am also a big fan of Rohit Sharma who is in danger of suffering a similar fate in the shadow of Virat Kohli. Rohit, in form, is a consummate timer of the ball. His big innings are littered with sixes but none of them are slogged.
In the recent ODI series against Sri Lanka, in Kohli’s absence through injury, Rohit was made captain. In the first match India were bowled out cheaply and Sri Lanka won by seven wickets. In the second match Sri Lanka won the toss and elected to field. Rohit scored 208 not out from 153 balls. His hundred came up in the 40th over and he scored his second hundred from 35 balls. There have only been five double hundreds in ODI cricket and Rohit has scored three of them
Then a week later in the second T20 against Sri Lanka he scored 118 from 43 balls in an innings which included ten sixes and twelve fours. He reached his hundred from 35 balls which equals David Miller’s recent new record.
Meanwhile, in the Bangladesh Premier League final Chris Gayle hit a record 18 sixes in an unbeaten 146 off 69 balls for Rangpur Riders. He beat his previous record of 17 sixes, set in the Indian Premier League in 2013. He also struck five fours as he amassed the highest score in a T20 final and became the first player to pass 11,000 runs in Twenty20s. Gayle's record collection:
Most sixes in a T20 innings - 18
Highest T20 score - 175 not out
Most T20 hundreds - 20
Fastest T20 century - 30 balls
He is the only player to score a T20 international century, an ODI double century and a Test triple century
It has been even more difficult than usual to follow the England Lions during this winter. I did manage to see a scorecard for one of the games which included members of the main touring party, presumably to give them match practice. Lions batted first and scored 314 for 9 (69 overs), Cricket Australia 151for 4 dec (50 overs), Lions 130 for 3 dec (20 overs), Cricket Australia 269 for 8 (36 overs). This may have been fun to watch but it doesn’t seem like appropriate practice for a test match. In the fourth innings Crane took 1 for 69 in 9 overs whilst Jack Leach took 4 for 104 in 9.5 overs.
In the recent T20 match between Auckland and Wellington both Jeetan Patel and Samit Patel were playing for Wellington and both had identical bowling analyses 4-0-36-1. Extraordinarily, the following week in the match against Canterbury they did it again with both returning figures of 4-0-24-2
Morgan Matters
The GJM sent me this
Adelaide: England have good day sensation! need 177 more... possible, I suppose, say the optimists.
Absolutely pathetic! There was no cause for optimism whatsoever. I never fancied we would win the series, but neither did I think it would be as bad as this. Root says "we are massively in this series"!
The G's headline on page 2 of the Sport supplement is Vic's idea that Bairstow should bat at 6... not a bad idea, but that is hardly going to turn England's fortunes around is it? How about: Overton should field at third man? Or Moeen should be the third change bowler?
In the 2-dayer at Perth, B Duckett was dropped from the team for pouring a drink over J Anderson in a Perth bar: can we afford to reduce the pool of possible Test reinforcements in this way? I am sure daft pranks like this often go on in bars and do not result in suspension eg Bairstow was not disciplined for "nutting" Bancroft!
Matthew Engel has a long and quite amusing article in today’s G about how “unbearable” it is to have to listen to commentary by G Boycott!
R Burns is the new captain of Surrey.
What a disaster this tour is! I did not expect Eng to win, but I thought we might put up a bit of a fight. It is truly pathetic and very worrying that many of the most senior and reliable chaps are now looking like weak links eg Cook, Root, Moeen and Broad. Next day (19/12), the G has five complete pages of analysis and obituaries from five different writers. It is all very depressing and hard to read really, especially as Root does not appear to want to make any changes whatsoever.
I have just spent several (fairly) interesting hours reading the Middlesex Cricket Annual Review (2017), which used to carry a price (£10 if memory serves), but no longer does so. It is pretty good and carries literally hundreds of photos, but no captions telling you who is in the photos! Obviously, I am going to recognise the clear shots of well-known players, but there are plenty of others where either the players are not well known or their features are not revealed clearly at all (eg because of helmets) a bit annoying really. The Review of the Kingspan Middlesex County Cricket League 2017 was interesting, but there was no mention of either SBCC (who I believe survived in the MCCL Premier Division) or SHCC (about whom I have no knowledge).
B Duckett might soon be executed for pouring beer over Anderson: he has now been axed completely from the Lions squad to tour WI in Feb. Has anyone else ever received such a draconian punishment for a silly prank that did not even upset Anderson let alone anyone else?
I have always quite liked Dawid and felt he might progress to better things, but he just never quite improved enough (to my eyes). Even now, I am a bit surprised by his selection and his success: his career batting average is around 37.9, which compares unfavourably with (for example) J Hildreth's 44.34 and he has never been close to a cap (as far as I know).
Guardian International Test XI
The Guardian cricket journalists came up with this composite side for 2017:
1) David Warner, Australia
808 runs at 44.88
Warner began the year with a bang against Pakistan in Sydney, when he walloped a hundred off 78 balls and became the first batsman in 40 years to score a century before a Test match had even stopped for lunch. But he showed off a more meditative side on Australia’s tour of Bangladesh, where he strung together back-to-back centuries. He thought the first, in a narrow defeat at Mirpur, was the best he’d ever made. But the second was better still. It took him six hours and 209 balls, which made it the slowest, most patient and painstaking, of his career.
2) Dean Elgar, South Africa
1,097 runs at 54.85
He started with a century against Sri Lanka in Cape Town, followed that with another against New Zealand in Dunedin, and a third against England at The Oval, the second half of this last scored even though he had a broken finger. Back home, he devoured Bangladesh’s attack, and made 199 and 113 in back-to-back matches.
3) Cheteshwar Pujara, India
1,140 runs at 67.05
The older Pujara gets, the more of throwback he seems. Never mind not playing in the IPL, he said that this year he didn’t even bother to watch it on TV. Instead, he spent spring getting more practice. Given that he’d only just played the longest Test innings by an Indian batsman, he hardly needed it. That was against Australia at Ranchi, when he batted through two days for 202 runs. He followed that with three hefty centuries against Sri Lanka. In another Test against them, at Eden Gardens, he managed to bat on all five days . Altogether, he spent 55 hours at the crease in Test cricket this year.
4) Steve Smith, Australia
1,127 runs at 70.43
He finishes the 2017 as he began it, top of the ICC’s Test batting rankings, even though he had a short slump during Australia’s tour of Bangladesh. Either side of that, he made three brilliant centuries in India, two of them in conditions so difficult that no one else made it near three figures, and then eviscerated England in Brisbane and Perth.
5) Virat Kohli, India
1,059 runs at 75.64
Kohli scored three double centuries and another couple of hundreds this year but only just squeezed into this team. Like Joe Root, he was underwhelming in his team’s key series. Against Australia, Kohli only made 46 runs in six innings. Aside from that, there was an irresistible wave of runs against Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, who suffered through back-to-back innings of 104* in Kolkata, 213 in Nagpur, and 243 in Delhi.
6) Shakib Al Hasan, Bangladesh
665 runs at 47.5 / 29 wickets at 33.37
The best all-rounder in the world isn’t Ben Stokes, or either of India’s two talented spinners Ravi Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja, but Shakib Al Hasan. He began the year by breaking Bangladesh’s national record for the highest score in Test cricket, with 217 against Trent Boult and Tim Southee in Wellington. Then he shaped Bangladesh’s first against Sri Lanka by scoring their only century in a four-wicket victory in Colombo. His peak, though, was his performance in Bangladesh’s famous first victory against Australia. That was in Dhaka, where he made the top score of 84 and followed up by taking a match haul of 10 for 153.
7) Mushfiqur Rahim, Bangladesh
766 runs at 54.71 / 12 catches, 2 stumpings
He scored 159 in a record-breaking stand with Shakib against New Zealand in January, and followed up, a month later, with 127 in Bangladesh’s first-ever Test in India. After that he made a string of gritty rearguard fifties against Sri Lanka and Australia. Along the way, he was hospitalised, twice, after being hit on the head by Duanne Olivier and Tim Southee.
8) Mitchell Starc, Australia
26 wickets at 26.34
He cut through England in Brisbane and Adelaide but you could say he was outbowled by Josh Hazlewood and Pat Cummins. But then came Perth, and in that ball, a 90mph leg-cutter that beat James Vince. It was an unforgettable, iconic, delivery. Even if it jagged off a crack. At his best, there’s no one better.
9) Nathan Lyon, Australia
60 wickets at 22.91
In India he took 19 wickets at 25 each, including eight for 50 at Bengaluru. Lyon’s always been a fine bowler in Australia, where he can work with bounce and over-spin, but now he has figured out how to do it in Asia, too. He was even better in Bangladesh, where he took two six-fors and a seven-for in back-to-back innings.
10) Jimmy Anderson, England
51 wickets at 16.86
At the age of 35, he had the best season of his life. But then, he has an old master’s understanding of his craft. He took 39 wickets at an average of 14 each in the summer, including a career-best seven for 42 against West Indies at Lord’s.
11) Kagiso Rabada, South Africa
54 wickets at 20.96
Rabada had a couple of ordinary tours this summer, to England and New Zealand, but he’s still finished up with more wickets than any other fast bowler. Back home, he swept through Sri Lanka – 10 for 92 in the Test at Cape Town – and Bangladesh – 10 for 63 at Bloemfontein. By the end of the year he had become one of the youngest men in history to take 100 Test wickets.
Revier Matters
Jim Revier sent me this
Paddy Carling's brief account of the Surrey/Yorkshire game at the Oval was a bit different from my own recollections of the game. Paddy wrote that " Surrey got nearly 600 and Yorkshire amassed slightly more ". Not exactly, as Yorkshire were dismissed for 394 and had to follow on. If you add in the 281-2 they made second time round though they did get over the 600. Perhaps Paddy's imbibing of the Wimbledon Common ale in the Kennington club clouded his memories of the day, whilst I stuck to regular caffeine shots at the Vauxhall End.
On the first day it had also been pleasing to have a boost to the attendance by the arrival of so many Middlesex supporters hotfoot from their side's washout at the Uxbridge paddy fields. Possibly, catching their last glimpse of the Oval for a couple of years.............
Only three players made a 1000 runs in the Championship in Division 1. All three play for Surrey: Sangakarra 1491 at 106, Stoneman 1156 at 60 and the under rated Burns 1041 at 49. There were also valuable runs from Foakes 680 at 52 which coupled with his excellent keeping earnt him an Ashes berth. Couple that with 3rd place in the Championship and yet another 1-day final defeat (thanks to a magnificent knock by Alex Hales) and the future would appear bright. However, I believe that without the wonderful Kumar Sangakarra it could have been us in Div 2 next season and not our dear neighbours.
Take the game at Chelmsford, Matt Quinn and the decidedly lively Jamie Porter had reduced Surrey, batting first, to 31 - 5 at 11.50am. At this stage I was considering whether to eat my sandwiches in the break between innings or wait until the official lunch break. However, KS was still there and he coaxed Sam Curran and Stuart Meaker into staying with him. The great man made 200 out of 369 and with 84 in the second dig he salvaged the draw. Amongst Kumar's eight tons were two in the game at Lord’s which undoubtedly saved us from a beating.
Apart from the four guys mentioned above the batting was iffy. Borthwick was a huge disappointment and Dom Sibley was allowed to leave for Warwickshire. Zafar Ansari, deciding to quit the game cost us on both the batting and bowling fronts. However, Surrey have never been afraid to give youngsters a go and there were promising early appearances from Ryan Patel and Olly Pope with Amar Virdi also debuting with his off spin.
Next season is worrying. No KS, and a half decent Ashes series (I write before the 1st Test ) will see Stoneman miss large chunks of the season. Borthwick will need to come to the party together with the youngsters and our new overseas signing Mitch Marsh. Alec Stewart says he's looking for big things from Marsh on the batting and bowling fronts. However, he won’t get near Sanga's batting tally and in three outings for Western Australia so far this season he has yet to bowl. Either he is injured or he doesn’t rate his own bowling (he captains WA).
The bowling worries me greatly. Sam Curran was not as penetrative as last season (31 wickets at 42 ) although one must not forget he is still very young. His brother took a mere 24 at 34 which somehow got him a place as replacement for Finn on the Ashes tour. Footitt was an early loss although his fitness record was dreadful. He has yet to start for his new club Nottinghamshire. Meaker and Dernbach again disappointed in the four-day game, although both have signed extended contracts. Rikki Clarke did better than I expected on his return from Warwickshire, but he and the Currans will be hoping for a new signing with real pace to ease the load. Batty again led the side defensively - two wins and two defeats and the rest all draws. Virdi is our spinning hope for the future but I query the lack of opportunities given to Freddie van den Bergh.
So next season - anything above 7th place will do me.
Finally, as Steve Wright and I queued for entry to the Oval for the season's opener with Warwicks the bloke in front informed us that Surrey should have got rid of Sanga as he "was finished". It’s a funny old game.
Caley Matters-1
I received the following from Steve Caley
I am not an expert on the history of Hong Kong cricket but did spend over four years there and played for Hong Kong on a tour of Bangladesh in 1984. I had previously been in Swaziland and had played there against Botswana, Lesotho and Zambia B and also played Country District cricket for Northern Transvaal (you may say WHAT!! from school memories but I think I was a late developer). I have a few South African pros in my locker but also have a 1st baller from Big Vince to “celebrate”!
In the early days cricket in Hong Kong was played against such as Singapore, Shanghai, Yokohama and one or two other places – as such, international games were known as “Interports”. There were some pretty good players around – Ozzies (Hollioake senior had been a star, Rod Eddington), Brits, Kiwis, Saffers, Indian, Sri Lankans. I never played with Dermot Reeve but did meet him (and consumed a few beers) quite often. He was then spending winters in Perth and dropped by in Hong Kong en route to see his parents. He played for a club called Craigengower in the Sunday League and was a friend and mentor of a young guy called Simon Myles who followed him to Sussex and then to Warwickshire; SM (who was our star in Bangladesh) never really made it but did play a lot of Minor County cricket for a “B” – Bucks, Berks ?? and I think Cumberland and Staffs. I think he was the groundsman at Stratford for a while.
Our captain on that tour was Peter Anderson who was a retired policeman who had joined the anti-corruption squad. When he left Hong Kong he became General Manager of Somerset. Nigel Stearns had I think had a game or so for Surrey 2 and one of the Lankers had had high level experience. Most of the Ozzies were “Grade” level.
There were very few Chinese playing but it was coming through in schools but the best was a guy called Benny Kwong Ho (now dead) who was the son of a groundsman at HKCC and simply grew up watching and doing what kids do when the grown ups have gone home. He was a good bat, top leggie and brilliant fielder. Rumour was that he had been offered by Warwickshire but was a quite reserved person and feared being homesick.
I played for the Hong Kong CC in both Saturday and Sunday leagues – we had 3 sides on both days, I think Kowloon (great rivalry) CC had 2 in each and there were sides from schools, the Indian community, some independent clubs, the police and the military. There was an annual 2 day fixture of HKCC vs Kowloon (Hancock Shield) – very “Roses” in its attrition and therefore often decided on 1st innings only. I once captained the HKCC in this game and “declared behind” to serious shock/horror as that meant “conceding”. If I recall, we ended up about 15 short with 2 wkts left chasing down in the 2nd innings of a very exciting game – different times I guess. My Sunday side was “Scorpions” and we were champions in 83/84 season, a much coveted achievement.
To be continued
Hedgcock Matters
Murray Hedgcock sent me this
I see the Professor has taken now to insulting the Winter sport of my youth, with his comment on Adelaide Oval redevelopment, planned to accommodate the big crowds attending what he terms “the famously misnamed Aussie "Rules’". It was the excellent Simon Barnes, late of The Times, who coined the alternative name, “Australian No-Rules”, joining those who profess to see in our national code nowt but a mad scramble.
The game does indeed have rules, or “Laws” as it prefers, if far short of the complexity of rugby union, and lacking anything as endlessly controversial and (to my mind) pointless as soccer’s offside. Inevitably they have expanded from the original 10 rules applied when the code was born in 1859 – as the Prof. rightly remarks, with the intent of providing healthy Winter exercise for Melbourne Cricket Club cricketers.
Many Test cricketers played Rules at top level, the most notable being Keith Miller, who represented Victoria in interstate competition. At the other end of the scale was Shane Warne, who had ambitions as a forward with St.Kilda in the old Victorian Football League, but was more interested in scoffing pies than training, and decided cricket was easier.
Most Australian sports arenas cater for cricket in Summer and a football code in Winter, whether the mighty MCG or small-town country ovals. Four Australian Football League teams are based at the MCG.
I have always enjoyed irritating English friends by arguing for a similar share-out in this country, so that Arsenal or Spurs could be based at Lord’s, Crystal Palace or Millwall at The Oval – and of course, Manchester United at Old Trafford.
I fear I make little headway with this surely logical proposal. Perhaps the Professor might care to support me?
South Hampstead Matters
I continue to receive emails about tweets (whatever they are) and would normally unsubscribe from the feed, but every so often there is one from South Hampstead. First there was this:
Remember, it’s the @SthHampsteadCC seasonal social night next Wednesday. Club members, partners and guests all welcome.
And then this:
The newly refurbished clubhouse @SthHampsteadCC is full of life this evening...but some of us just want to play #cricket in the locker room #onehandonebounce
It is great to see the facilities being cared for and used by cricketing members. Let’s hope that this enthusiasm can be maintained and that it can extend to success on the field of play as well. Well done to all concerned.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 181
January 2018
Old Wanker’s Almanack
When I bumped into himself over the Christmas period he was nauseatingly smug about his performance last year, in particular, over the calling of the snap election. Needless to say, he didn’t take much persuading to come up with his predictions for 2018.
January
Michael Vaughan says that things have got so bad in the fast bowling department that Steve Harmison should be recalled to the England team for the next test.
Teresa May says that the £38m Brexit deal was the result of a fabulous negotiation and she will not agree to a penny more.
Sam Allardyce resigns as manager of Everton. He says that there is no challenge in managing a winning side.
Damian Green gets a new job as editor of Playboy UK.
Pornography is found on Jenni Murray’s computer.
February
The LGBTI community insist that it should have its own side in the Premier League. It somewhat backfires when fans everywhere call the team the “Nancy Boys”.
This heralds a general backlash against all Politically Correct attitudes. Dianne Abbott is generally referred to as a “Jumped Up Slapper” and, after years in rehab, Andy Gray and Ron Atkinson are hired by the media to write headlines in their inimitable style. A new Anti PC party is launched called “When boys were boys and girls were girls”.
Mark Hughes is fired as manager of Stoke. He is replaced by Paul Clement.
Teresa May extends the re-housing schedule of the Grenfell Tower displaced residents from three weeks to three years. She mutters something about having better things to do.
Following their resurgence Gary Linekar describes Leicester as the new Leicester.
Pornography is found on Shirley Williams’ computer.
In an attempt to distract media attention from the horrors of a post Brexit Britain, David Davies shamelessly encourages anti Trump demonstrations. In Trafalgar Square banners read “Not welcome Here”, “Tweet off”, “Keep your hands to yourself”. Trump responds with a tweet saying “OK, I’ll stay here and you can forget your trade deal.” David Davies resigns.
The payment to leave the EU goes up to £50m. No one says a word.
March
The Brexiteers become increasingly frustrated by the lack of progress on negotiations. They ask Donald Trump to build a wall around London and the South East.
Roy Hodgson is fired as manager of Crystal Palace. He is replaced by Mark Hughes.
At Prime Minister’s Questions Jeremy Corbin asks: “In the light of record waiting times at A&Es across England, Rest Homes closing through lack of funding and the homeless on the streets how does she justify the continued government support of elite and effete arts activities such as the National Opera?” May: “We are doing all we can”. Corbyn “No, you aren’t”.
The DUP ask for more cash from Teresa May for their continued support. Brussels offers to pay it to keep the Brexit talks going.
The BBC finally admits that it is guilty of propagating Fake News since all of its output is delivered from a soft and woolly liberal viewpoint.
The Nancy Boys striker goes into the wrong designated toilet and when challenged says “It doesn’t mater how you feel, it’s who you feel”.
Pornography is found on Henry Blofeld’s computer.
April
In the Claptrap annual review of Irritating Words & Phrases the winners were “like”, “init” and “literally”. A new female category had to be created as no man had ever been heard to utter the dreaded “Hey-Ho” and “Yaaaay”.
After multiple Commons defeats Teresa May reluctantly goes to the polls. The new PM, Jeremy Corbyn, abandons all EU withdrawal talks and the EU, with a sigh of relief, agrees to the UK’s continued membership.
Relegated Newcastle sack their manager, Rafael Benitez. He is replaced by Roy Hodgson.
In Middlesex’ first match at Lord’s in the second division the pitch is invaded by LGBGTI protestors. The match is abandoned, and Middlesex are docked points for their slow over rate.
Pornography is found on Justin Welby’s computer.
May
Mark Wood withdraws from the first test with a recurring injury. His replacement, Steve Finn, also withdraws with a niggle.
President Corbyn cancels the Royal wedding, grants independence to Scotland and nationalizes the public schools.
Lord Guardiola of Etihad says that he will not relax after his Ferguson beating four major trophy wins.
The recreational use of cannabis is legalized in Islington.
Nigel Farage becomes the new leader of the Conservative Party.
The ECB decides to go ahead with the second test despite the obliteration of Texas and Southern California by a North Korean ballistic attack.
June
As a result of demonstrations at test matches the ECB appoints a new security firm, “Stokes, Duckett and Bairstow”, to “deal” with the problem.
Following continued criticism of him from the UK, President Trump arranges for Facebook and Twitter to be turned off for all UK users.
Manchester, Bristol, Leeds, Edinburgh and Glasgow all suffer terrorist drone attacks.
America continues to withdraw from international affairs. A summit is called of the key international players: China, India, Japan, Russia, Saudi Arabia and the EU.
July
The LGBTI pressure group eventually gets its way and all public buildings are required by the end of the year to have six distinct lavatories catering to the sexual preferences of its constituents. The mandate extends to Schools, Workplaces, Stadia and theatres. This aggregates to the biggest public works programme of all time. Within weeks unemployment is eliminated, the economy picks up and austerity becomes a thing of the past. John Maynard Keynes smiles in his grave.
Out and About with the Professor
So...(almost all Australian sentences begin with "so", always excepting those that go in for the more loquacious: "Aw look").
So...at last something for the visiting supporters to cheer about, and there are lots of us...thousands. The new "G" is a magnificent stadium but it is not beautiful, indeed some character has been lost. Glass and concrete are effective building materials, but they don't quite have the charm of wood panelling. The whole thing is a complete arena, four tiers high; a bigger (and better) version of the Gabba. It means, apart from the huge audiences, that sounds resonate...something that the Barmy Army discovered quite early.
Few people, I think, would regard Cook as an elegant batsman but what an effective one. Given his previous form, his was a wonderful innings. It has been boiling hot here and to hold that level of concentration was a feat in itself but he played at virtually the same pace throughout. He has, as we all know, his four shots: pull, cut, work off the hip and drive down the ground and he played them better and better as the day went on. His straight driving in particular was faultless. In between all that there was the usual prodding and poking which never looks good but is generally very effective and to be the first person to carry his bat at the MCG is pretty much a definition of effective.
Both captains have some strange (to my mind) ideas about field placing. It seems sometimes as if they both are keen to show their "innovative" credentials. Doubtless there is something to be said for inventiveness, but I couldn't see a case for the second over of the Test being bowled by Broad to a "sweeper" on the cover boundary. OK if Warner is belting the ball to all parts, but the seventh ball of the match? Smith has caught the fashionable urge to have a short extra-cover much of the time, but I felt that three short-extras to Cook was overdoing it just a touch. Cook just hit the ball through or past anyway.
The other star of the show was of course Jackson Bird. There had been the usual Press-contrived "row" about Bird before the game. Anderson gave a perfectly sensible interview saying that Australia didn't have an endless supply of fast bowlers and indeed Bird who was likely to play in the 4th Test and he was no quicker than himself. This became "loser pom Anderson slams Bird" in the "Herald Sun" and the scene was set for the match. With figures of 0-100 Jackson found himself down at the site of the old Bay 13 in front of the Barmy Army. We have discussed the Army in this journal many times and there are, I know, Googlies readers who disapprove. I do not. I think they are quite splendid, especially from a distance of about 150 yards, which is how far they are from where we are sitting. It would be fair to say that they got on Jackson's case. They began with the old favourite: "He bowls to the left, he bowls to the right, that Jackson Bird's bowling is shite". Thence to: "All we are saying, is give Bird a bowl" and so on. We are with Gladstone Small and his young lady here and he recalls fielding in that spot and being pelted with apples, half-eaten pies, cans and, inevitably, bananas. The Army just throw insults.
To Bird's great credit he did exactly the right thing. Instead of showing annoyance he played to the crowd, got them mimicking his warm-up stretches and knees bends and in the end had a couple of thousand English people singing: "We love you Jackson, we do". But his bowling didn't improve.
Indeed this drop-in pitch is not easy to bowl on. For England to wrap up the first innings with 7 for 80 odd was a great effort helped, of course, by three played-ons. England would have had a much higher first innings score if two men hadn't been given out to balls they had hit. How they did not realise that is a mystery indeed. I read that the previous first-class games played here this season had all ended in draws and so this one was no great surprise. I feel sure that would have been the result even without the rain although why they don't have proper covers in Australia I have no idea. It has rained at three of the grounds so far and none of them have anything better than plastic sheets. Many village teams in England have better covers than the Melbourne Cricket Club.
Still, it has been a decent performance by England and has stopped the rot.
So...at last we have something the cheer about.
This and That
Long term readers of this Journal will know that I am a big fan of the amazing Virendar Sehwag who suffered from having to play his career in the shadow of Sachin Tendulkar. I am also a big fan of Rohit Sharma who is in danger of suffering a similar fate in the shadow of Virat Kohli. Rohit, in form, is a consummate timer of the ball. His big innings are littered with sixes but none of them are slogged.
In the recent ODI series against Sri Lanka, in Kohli’s absence through injury, Rohit was made captain. In the first match India were bowled out cheaply and Sri Lanka won by seven wickets. In the second match Sri Lanka won the toss and elected to field. Rohit scored 208 not out from 153 balls. His hundred came up in the 40th over and he scored his second hundred from 35 balls. There have only been five double hundreds in ODI cricket and Rohit has scored three of them
Then a week later in the second T20 against Sri Lanka he scored 118 from 43 balls in an innings which included ten sixes and twelve fours. He reached his hundred from 35 balls which equals David Miller’s recent new record.
Meanwhile, in the Bangladesh Premier League final Chris Gayle hit a record 18 sixes in an unbeaten 146 off 69 balls for Rangpur Riders. He beat his previous record of 17 sixes, set in the Indian Premier League in 2013. He also struck five fours as he amassed the highest score in a T20 final and became the first player to pass 11,000 runs in Twenty20s. Gayle's record collection:
Most sixes in a T20 innings - 18
Highest T20 score - 175 not out
Most T20 hundreds - 20
Fastest T20 century - 30 balls
He is the only player to score a T20 international century, an ODI double century and a Test triple century
It has been even more difficult than usual to follow the England Lions during this winter. I did manage to see a scorecard for one of the games which included members of the main touring party, presumably to give them match practice. Lions batted first and scored 314 for 9 (69 overs), Cricket Australia 151for 4 dec (50 overs), Lions 130 for 3 dec (20 overs), Cricket Australia 269 for 8 (36 overs). This may have been fun to watch but it doesn’t seem like appropriate practice for a test match. In the fourth innings Crane took 1 for 69 in 9 overs whilst Jack Leach took 4 for 104 in 9.5 overs.
In the recent T20 match between Auckland and Wellington both Jeetan Patel and Samit Patel were playing for Wellington and both had identical bowling analyses 4-0-36-1. Extraordinarily, the following week in the match against Canterbury they did it again with both returning figures of 4-0-24-2
Morgan Matters
The GJM sent me this
Adelaide: England have good day sensation! need 177 more... possible, I suppose, say the optimists.
Absolutely pathetic! There was no cause for optimism whatsoever. I never fancied we would win the series, but neither did I think it would be as bad as this. Root says "we are massively in this series"!
The G's headline on page 2 of the Sport supplement is Vic's idea that Bairstow should bat at 6... not a bad idea, but that is hardly going to turn England's fortunes around is it? How about: Overton should field at third man? Or Moeen should be the third change bowler?
In the 2-dayer at Perth, B Duckett was dropped from the team for pouring a drink over J Anderson in a Perth bar: can we afford to reduce the pool of possible Test reinforcements in this way? I am sure daft pranks like this often go on in bars and do not result in suspension eg Bairstow was not disciplined for "nutting" Bancroft!
Matthew Engel has a long and quite amusing article in today’s G about how “unbearable” it is to have to listen to commentary by G Boycott!
R Burns is the new captain of Surrey.
What a disaster this tour is! I did not expect Eng to win, but I thought we might put up a bit of a fight. It is truly pathetic and very worrying that many of the most senior and reliable chaps are now looking like weak links eg Cook, Root, Moeen and Broad. Next day (19/12), the G has five complete pages of analysis and obituaries from five different writers. It is all very depressing and hard to read really, especially as Root does not appear to want to make any changes whatsoever.
I have just spent several (fairly) interesting hours reading the Middlesex Cricket Annual Review (2017), which used to carry a price (£10 if memory serves), but no longer does so. It is pretty good and carries literally hundreds of photos, but no captions telling you who is in the photos! Obviously, I am going to recognise the clear shots of well-known players, but there are plenty of others where either the players are not well known or their features are not revealed clearly at all (eg because of helmets) a bit annoying really. The Review of the Kingspan Middlesex County Cricket League 2017 was interesting, but there was no mention of either SBCC (who I believe survived in the MCCL Premier Division) or SHCC (about whom I have no knowledge).
B Duckett might soon be executed for pouring beer over Anderson: he has now been axed completely from the Lions squad to tour WI in Feb. Has anyone else ever received such a draconian punishment for a silly prank that did not even upset Anderson let alone anyone else?
I have always quite liked Dawid and felt he might progress to better things, but he just never quite improved enough (to my eyes). Even now, I am a bit surprised by his selection and his success: his career batting average is around 37.9, which compares unfavourably with (for example) J Hildreth's 44.34 and he has never been close to a cap (as far as I know).
Guardian International Test XI
The Guardian cricket journalists came up with this composite side for 2017:
1) David Warner, Australia
808 runs at 44.88
Warner began the year with a bang against Pakistan in Sydney, when he walloped a hundred off 78 balls and became the first batsman in 40 years to score a century before a Test match had even stopped for lunch. But he showed off a more meditative side on Australia’s tour of Bangladesh, where he strung together back-to-back centuries. He thought the first, in a narrow defeat at Mirpur, was the best he’d ever made. But the second was better still. It took him six hours and 209 balls, which made it the slowest, most patient and painstaking, of his career.
2) Dean Elgar, South Africa
1,097 runs at 54.85
He started with a century against Sri Lanka in Cape Town, followed that with another against New Zealand in Dunedin, and a third against England at The Oval, the second half of this last scored even though he had a broken finger. Back home, he devoured Bangladesh’s attack, and made 199 and 113 in back-to-back matches.
3) Cheteshwar Pujara, India
1,140 runs at 67.05
The older Pujara gets, the more of throwback he seems. Never mind not playing in the IPL, he said that this year he didn’t even bother to watch it on TV. Instead, he spent spring getting more practice. Given that he’d only just played the longest Test innings by an Indian batsman, he hardly needed it. That was against Australia at Ranchi, when he batted through two days for 202 runs. He followed that with three hefty centuries against Sri Lanka. In another Test against them, at Eden Gardens, he managed to bat on all five days . Altogether, he spent 55 hours at the crease in Test cricket this year.
4) Steve Smith, Australia
1,127 runs at 70.43
He finishes the 2017 as he began it, top of the ICC’s Test batting rankings, even though he had a short slump during Australia’s tour of Bangladesh. Either side of that, he made three brilliant centuries in India, two of them in conditions so difficult that no one else made it near three figures, and then eviscerated England in Brisbane and Perth.
5) Virat Kohli, India
1,059 runs at 75.64
Kohli scored three double centuries and another couple of hundreds this year but only just squeezed into this team. Like Joe Root, he was underwhelming in his team’s key series. Against Australia, Kohli only made 46 runs in six innings. Aside from that, there was an irresistible wave of runs against Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, who suffered through back-to-back innings of 104* in Kolkata, 213 in Nagpur, and 243 in Delhi.
6) Shakib Al Hasan, Bangladesh
665 runs at 47.5 / 29 wickets at 33.37
The best all-rounder in the world isn’t Ben Stokes, or either of India’s two talented spinners Ravi Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja, but Shakib Al Hasan. He began the year by breaking Bangladesh’s national record for the highest score in Test cricket, with 217 against Trent Boult and Tim Southee in Wellington. Then he shaped Bangladesh’s first against Sri Lanka by scoring their only century in a four-wicket victory in Colombo. His peak, though, was his performance in Bangladesh’s famous first victory against Australia. That was in Dhaka, where he made the top score of 84 and followed up by taking a match haul of 10 for 153.
7) Mushfiqur Rahim, Bangladesh
766 runs at 54.71 / 12 catches, 2 stumpings
He scored 159 in a record-breaking stand with Shakib against New Zealand in January, and followed up, a month later, with 127 in Bangladesh’s first-ever Test in India. After that he made a string of gritty rearguard fifties against Sri Lanka and Australia. Along the way, he was hospitalised, twice, after being hit on the head by Duanne Olivier and Tim Southee.
8) Mitchell Starc, Australia
26 wickets at 26.34
He cut through England in Brisbane and Adelaide but you could say he was outbowled by Josh Hazlewood and Pat Cummins. But then came Perth, and in that ball, a 90mph leg-cutter that beat James Vince. It was an unforgettable, iconic, delivery. Even if it jagged off a crack. At his best, there’s no one better.
9) Nathan Lyon, Australia
60 wickets at 22.91
In India he took 19 wickets at 25 each, including eight for 50 at Bengaluru. Lyon’s always been a fine bowler in Australia, where he can work with bounce and over-spin, but now he has figured out how to do it in Asia, too. He was even better in Bangladesh, where he took two six-fors and a seven-for in back-to-back innings.
10) Jimmy Anderson, England
51 wickets at 16.86
At the age of 35, he had the best season of his life. But then, he has an old master’s understanding of his craft. He took 39 wickets at an average of 14 each in the summer, including a career-best seven for 42 against West Indies at Lord’s.
11) Kagiso Rabada, South Africa
54 wickets at 20.96
Rabada had a couple of ordinary tours this summer, to England and New Zealand, but he’s still finished up with more wickets than any other fast bowler. Back home, he swept through Sri Lanka – 10 for 92 in the Test at Cape Town – and Bangladesh – 10 for 63 at Bloemfontein. By the end of the year he had become one of the youngest men in history to take 100 Test wickets.
Revier Matters
Jim Revier sent me this
Paddy Carling's brief account of the Surrey/Yorkshire game at the Oval was a bit different from my own recollections of the game. Paddy wrote that " Surrey got nearly 600 and Yorkshire amassed slightly more ". Not exactly, as Yorkshire were dismissed for 394 and had to follow on. If you add in the 281-2 they made second time round though they did get over the 600. Perhaps Paddy's imbibing of the Wimbledon Common ale in the Kennington club clouded his memories of the day, whilst I stuck to regular caffeine shots at the Vauxhall End.
On the first day it had also been pleasing to have a boost to the attendance by the arrival of so many Middlesex supporters hotfoot from their side's washout at the Uxbridge paddy fields. Possibly, catching their last glimpse of the Oval for a couple of years.............
Only three players made a 1000 runs in the Championship in Division 1. All three play for Surrey: Sangakarra 1491 at 106, Stoneman 1156 at 60 and the under rated Burns 1041 at 49. There were also valuable runs from Foakes 680 at 52 which coupled with his excellent keeping earnt him an Ashes berth. Couple that with 3rd place in the Championship and yet another 1-day final defeat (thanks to a magnificent knock by Alex Hales) and the future would appear bright. However, I believe that without the wonderful Kumar Sangakarra it could have been us in Div 2 next season and not our dear neighbours.
Take the game at Chelmsford, Matt Quinn and the decidedly lively Jamie Porter had reduced Surrey, batting first, to 31 - 5 at 11.50am. At this stage I was considering whether to eat my sandwiches in the break between innings or wait until the official lunch break. However, KS was still there and he coaxed Sam Curran and Stuart Meaker into staying with him. The great man made 200 out of 369 and with 84 in the second dig he salvaged the draw. Amongst Kumar's eight tons were two in the game at Lord’s which undoubtedly saved us from a beating.
Apart from the four guys mentioned above the batting was iffy. Borthwick was a huge disappointment and Dom Sibley was allowed to leave for Warwickshire. Zafar Ansari, deciding to quit the game cost us on both the batting and bowling fronts. However, Surrey have never been afraid to give youngsters a go and there were promising early appearances from Ryan Patel and Olly Pope with Amar Virdi also debuting with his off spin.
Next season is worrying. No KS, and a half decent Ashes series (I write before the 1st Test ) will see Stoneman miss large chunks of the season. Borthwick will need to come to the party together with the youngsters and our new overseas signing Mitch Marsh. Alec Stewart says he's looking for big things from Marsh on the batting and bowling fronts. However, he won’t get near Sanga's batting tally and in three outings for Western Australia so far this season he has yet to bowl. Either he is injured or he doesn’t rate his own bowling (he captains WA).
The bowling worries me greatly. Sam Curran was not as penetrative as last season (31 wickets at 42 ) although one must not forget he is still very young. His brother took a mere 24 at 34 which somehow got him a place as replacement for Finn on the Ashes tour. Footitt was an early loss although his fitness record was dreadful. He has yet to start for his new club Nottinghamshire. Meaker and Dernbach again disappointed in the four-day game, although both have signed extended contracts. Rikki Clarke did better than I expected on his return from Warwickshire, but he and the Currans will be hoping for a new signing with real pace to ease the load. Batty again led the side defensively - two wins and two defeats and the rest all draws. Virdi is our spinning hope for the future but I query the lack of opportunities given to Freddie van den Bergh.
So next season - anything above 7th place will do me.
Finally, as Steve Wright and I queued for entry to the Oval for the season's opener with Warwicks the bloke in front informed us that Surrey should have got rid of Sanga as he "was finished". It’s a funny old game.
Caley Matters-1
I received the following from Steve Caley
I am not an expert on the history of Hong Kong cricket but did spend over four years there and played for Hong Kong on a tour of Bangladesh in 1984. I had previously been in Swaziland and had played there against Botswana, Lesotho and Zambia B and also played Country District cricket for Northern Transvaal (you may say WHAT!! from school memories but I think I was a late developer). I have a few South African pros in my locker but also have a 1st baller from Big Vince to “celebrate”!
In the early days cricket in Hong Kong was played against such as Singapore, Shanghai, Yokohama and one or two other places – as such, international games were known as “Interports”. There were some pretty good players around – Ozzies (Hollioake senior had been a star, Rod Eddington), Brits, Kiwis, Saffers, Indian, Sri Lankans. I never played with Dermot Reeve but did meet him (and consumed a few beers) quite often. He was then spending winters in Perth and dropped by in Hong Kong en route to see his parents. He played for a club called Craigengower in the Sunday League and was a friend and mentor of a young guy called Simon Myles who followed him to Sussex and then to Warwickshire; SM (who was our star in Bangladesh) never really made it but did play a lot of Minor County cricket for a “B” – Bucks, Berks ?? and I think Cumberland and Staffs. I think he was the groundsman at Stratford for a while.
Our captain on that tour was Peter Anderson who was a retired policeman who had joined the anti-corruption squad. When he left Hong Kong he became General Manager of Somerset. Nigel Stearns had I think had a game or so for Surrey 2 and one of the Lankers had had high level experience. Most of the Ozzies were “Grade” level.
There were very few Chinese playing but it was coming through in schools but the best was a guy called Benny Kwong Ho (now dead) who was the son of a groundsman at HKCC and simply grew up watching and doing what kids do when the grown ups have gone home. He was a good bat, top leggie and brilliant fielder. Rumour was that he had been offered by Warwickshire but was a quite reserved person and feared being homesick.
I played for the Hong Kong CC in both Saturday and Sunday leagues – we had 3 sides on both days, I think Kowloon (great rivalry) CC had 2 in each and there were sides from schools, the Indian community, some independent clubs, the police and the military. There was an annual 2 day fixture of HKCC vs Kowloon (Hancock Shield) – very “Roses” in its attrition and therefore often decided on 1st innings only. I once captained the HKCC in this game and “declared behind” to serious shock/horror as that meant “conceding”. If I recall, we ended up about 15 short with 2 wkts left chasing down in the 2nd innings of a very exciting game – different times I guess. My Sunday side was “Scorpions” and we were champions in 83/84 season, a much coveted achievement.
To be continued
Hedgcock Matters
Murray Hedgcock sent me this
I see the Professor has taken now to insulting the Winter sport of my youth, with his comment on Adelaide Oval redevelopment, planned to accommodate the big crowds attending what he terms “the famously misnamed Aussie "Rules’". It was the excellent Simon Barnes, late of The Times, who coined the alternative name, “Australian No-Rules”, joining those who profess to see in our national code nowt but a mad scramble.
The game does indeed have rules, or “Laws” as it prefers, if far short of the complexity of rugby union, and lacking anything as endlessly controversial and (to my mind) pointless as soccer’s offside. Inevitably they have expanded from the original 10 rules applied when the code was born in 1859 – as the Prof. rightly remarks, with the intent of providing healthy Winter exercise for Melbourne Cricket Club cricketers.
Many Test cricketers played Rules at top level, the most notable being Keith Miller, who represented Victoria in interstate competition. At the other end of the scale was Shane Warne, who had ambitions as a forward with St.Kilda in the old Victorian Football League, but was more interested in scoffing pies than training, and decided cricket was easier.
Most Australian sports arenas cater for cricket in Summer and a football code in Winter, whether the mighty MCG or small-town country ovals. Four Australian Football League teams are based at the MCG.
I have always enjoyed irritating English friends by arguing for a similar share-out in this country, so that Arsenal or Spurs could be based at Lord’s, Crystal Palace or Millwall at The Oval – and of course, Manchester United at Old Trafford.
I fear I make little headway with this surely logical proposal. Perhaps the Professor might care to support me?
South Hampstead Matters
I continue to receive emails about tweets (whatever they are) and would normally unsubscribe from the feed, but every so often there is one from South Hampstead. First there was this:
Remember, it’s the @SthHampsteadCC seasonal social night next Wednesday. Club members, partners and guests all welcome.
And then this:
The newly refurbished clubhouse @SthHampsteadCC is full of life this evening...but some of us just want to play #cricket in the locker room #onehandonebounce
It is great to see the facilities being cared for and used by cricketing members. Let’s hope that this enthusiasm can be maintained and that it can extend to success on the field of play as well. Well done to all concerned.
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