GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 47
November 2006
Ashes Matters
Here we go again and the outlook seems pretty gloomy for Brisbane and thereafter. Last time around I was accused by the Professor and George of being a miserable old git for my pessimistic outlook. I emailed the Professor for his predictions recently and he sent back a stark 4-0.
It occurs to me that none of the England side has played any first class cricket since the truncated Oval outing and some, of course, since a lot earlier. Does the term "match fit" actually mean anything anymore? If it does then almost none of them will be. Even before the Champions Trophy the Indians played an internal tournament to prepare themselves. England's preparations before this competition and the Ashes seems to comprise nothing more than giving themselves well deserved (sic) time off.
England won the Ashes in England because they employed a four man pace attack reminiscent of the West Indians in the seventies and eighties. If it lacked some of their firepower it compensated with the reverse swing phenomenon, which at least Jones and Flintoff had perfected. I was at Old Trafford this summer when Harmison blew away the Pakistanis in a couple of hours on an admittedly helpful track. But the crucial thing was his unerring accuracy on this occasion. However, ever since he has reverted to serving up old-fashioned rinse. This culminated in his being dropped for the final ODI in the Champions Trophy. I am in the camp that thinks that bowlers need to bowl in match conditions to get their rhythm. Harmison like Flintoff has no opportunity left to do this before Brisbane. Hoggard has had an injury as well and Mahmood has been spraying it. The chances of them all coming good in Brisbane is at best remote.
We all know that Lewis is ten mph below the requirement to join Fletch’s test attack, but when he came in for Harmison in the ODI against the West Indies he was the only bowler to return respectable figures. The arrival of unwanted bowlers into the side who perform better than the incumbents is becoming an embarrassment for Fletch. He doesn’t really want Monty in the side and now that Gilo has been declared fully fit, although, of course, he hasn’t turned his arm over in anger, it will be interesting to see who gets the nod in Brisbane. Too much should not be read into the final Champions Trophy win. The West Indies used it as batting practise and only jogged their runs. They rested their key bowlers and so the chase, admirable in itself was nevertheless against their second string attack and beyond any impact on the competition.
I don't think that the Aussies are the complete thing but they will click into Ashes mode quicker than England. If England get off to a bad start then it will be even more difficult to claw their way back than it was last year. The Aussies are apparently considering Watson at six or seven, presumably in place of Clarke. If they do go for him it will give them better bowling options since they hardly use Clarke as a bowler. Their side could be:
Langer, Hayden, Ponting, Martyn, Hussey, Watson or Clarke, Gilchrist, Warne, Lee, Clark, McGrath
This leaves them with Symonds, Katich, Jaques and loads of other batters on the side. It also gives them the newish guns Bracken and Johnson as standbys in the fast bowling department. It all looks pretty formidable.
Geoff Boycott didn’t wait for the plane to land in Australia and has already called for Fletch’s head. He considers that England’s continued failure in ODIs to be unacceptable and says that he should go. Whilst other countries take ODIs seriously in their own right England use them no more than to blood new players. The England camp will therefore be ranking the Ashes well ahead of the World Cup. Success in either would well exceed our expectations.
Etiquette Matters
When embarking on a day’s cricket watching it is always important to bear in mind the etiquette of what are and what are not permissible topics of conversation. You would normally find the following acceptable:
However, there are some topics that are certain to get you banned from any pavilion and banished to the solo deckchair zone in any ground. I strongly recommend that you steer clear of the following topics:
Very Difficult Quiz
1. Who is this man?
2. What was the occasion?
3. Where was the picture taken?
4. What is he doing?
5. Why was he subsequently gutted?
6. Who is the woman in the background?
The photo is of Arthur Smith, the comedian, and it was taken at Cholmondeley Park earlier this year at the Lord’s Taverners charity match between Lord Stafford’s XI and Nick Hancock’s XI. He took the chair onto the field of play and fielded on it after completing his bowling spell for Nick Hancock’s side. After the match as I was leaving the ground I spotted Arthur wandering around the outfield. I called across and said that I thought that he should have been Man of the Match. He replied: “I agree, I am gutted”. I’ve no idea who the woman in the background is but if you are really interested I suggest that you contact Andrew Baker.
Xen Matters Murray Hedgcock’s provocative article last month prompted this reply from the Professor
My other thoughts are about the "xenophobe" piece. If there really is someone called Murray Hedgecock, I fear he did not put the case as well as he might. While I fully agree with his complaints about the "endless procession" of overseas players "slipping in and out of county teams", the rest seems a bit of a muddle. He starts by declaring that the England team should be English and then instantly backtracks to allow in the rest of the United Kingdom. Then we move to the "country of your birth" bit which, as we all know, would rule out Dexter, Cowdrey, F R Brown, etc, etc. (I can see the GJM scribbling out a couple (at least) very good England sides made up of players not born in England). We then move ground again to the well-worn "learned the game" criterion. The problem here is, of course, how much of the game? Most people who get to Test level start pretty early. What bits of
the game are allowed to have been learned overseas before the player takes up residence in the UK? Fielding positions? The off-drive? The LBW law? How to drink yourself stupid the night before and still open the batting? The only sensible position is to accept the regulations (whatever they are) and put out the best side you can from those players qualified to play for the country. My beef, as you know, is about the number of county cricketers who are not qualified to play for England who earn very considerable sums of money, largely derived from Test match revenues, which could be used to develop cricket throughout the country and instead are used by myopic county committees to try to buy instant success for the gratification of the handful of spectators who turn up to watch.
I then received this from the great Jack Morgan The trouble with Murray’s argument that “counties should basically comprise locals” is that this has never been the case, except in Yorkshire and, to a certain extent, Glamorgan. I recall that when I started following the game back in the mid-fifties, county sides fielded the likes of Bruce Dooland, Pom-Pom Fellows-Smith, Vic Jackson, Jack Manning, Keith Dollery, Jock Livingstone, John McMahon, George Tribe, Jack Pettiford, Denis Foreman, Bill Alley, Gamini Goonesena, Stuart Leary, Jack Walsh, Alan Walker, Ken Grieves, Colin McCool, Peter Arnold, Ray Hitchcock, Laddie Outschoorn, Peter Wight, Laurie Johnson, Roy Marshall, Tom Pritchard and Billy Ibadulla, while the Oxford and Cambridge sides were absolutely packed with colonials. There seems little logic in deciding, fifty years later, that sides should comprise locals. I also find it strange that Murray should complain about the selection of Tony Greig (don’t forget Ian), Graeme Hick, Allan Lamb, Robin and Chris Smith, Martin McCague, Andy Caddick and Geraint Jones as every one of these players had British parents and British passports (McCague was actually born in the UK) and it is surely an established principle in most sports that players are fully entitled to represent the country of their parents and, in many cases, a single grandparent is sufficient to confer eligibility. In addition, all of the above players also had to serve a lengthy residential qualification period before being declared eligible, something that is not considered necessary by many sports. In the case of Kevin Pietersen, he has an English mother and English grandparents and served the necessary residential qualification period. Just how difficult should it be for the sons of the British to return to represent the country of their parents? As far as many of us are concerned, these are our “own people”. If England had selected Stuart Law and Andy Flower, as they are entitled to do, then I might have had some sympathy with Murray’s argument.
I copied these thoughts to Murray who sent me this
James: You as Editor will be happy - there's nothing like a response and controversy to keep a publication alive and in good health. And I'm only too pleased, in the Aussie phrase, to stir the possums. I shall be delighted to see you run the comments - and to keep the pot boiling, would hope my further thoughts could be appended. I assume the Professor doesn't mind having his leg pulled?
I've often wondered why the Professor is The Professor: now I know, as his thoughts on xenophobia are straight out of the academic's "Handbook of Distortion". Charging down blind alleys, ignoring or distorting arguments, inventing his own definitions, wilfully ignoring good points made, standing conclusions on their head, letting excellent deliveries go past off-stump - I assume he is Professor of Logic at the University of Shepherds Bush? Or some such.
Pausing only to confirm that there is no-one called Murray Hedgecock (it's Hedgcock, actually), I move to his conclusion: "The only sensible position is to accept the regulations". What about reform, the need for change, and the right of the independent thinker to crusade against laws he or she believes to be wrong? I thought universities sponsored independent thought - not a craven readiness to go along with petty regulation.
The Great Jack Morgan puts a thoughtful case, based on historic precedent, but it does not affect gut feeling as far as I am concerned. I still believe, genuinely, that it's pretty feeble of the England game that it finds it necessary to recruit every possible outsider; under whatever qualification rules it can adjust (they have been most carefully and deliberately widened over the years). I say again, that that it does not happen elsewhere. The Professor appears to have closed the seminar before getting round to that basic issue. And as to the future - they're generally good blokes, but I just can't look forward to the day when the England XI is all Polish.........
South Hampstead Matters
Bob Peach tells me that in the circumstances South Hampstead had a reasonably good season. Neither the first nor second elevens were relegated from their respective leagues and the third eleven, when all was doomed, remarkably won their last five matches to stay up.
The Middlesex bowler Alan Richardson only played once this year when he turned out for the Bush in a match against South Hampstead, although he was not registered to play for them. He rolled over the South Hampstead tail when they only needed a few to win and that didn’t go down too well. But apparently nobody bothered to register a formal complaint and so the result stood.
Average Matters
After the end of each season I send the Great Jack Morgan some comments on the averages in an attempt to appear worldly wise and sageful about the season. These were my observations this autumn
As usual the end of season averages makes fascinating reading. After Ramprakesh with eight hundreds and Flower with seven Compton finds himself in exalted company with six-Lehman, Crawley, Goodwin, Loye and Spearman. The other strange bedfellow here is Zulu. Middlesex must be feeling decidedly short changed from 2004 since this year he scored 1265 at 65.84 to finish eighth in the averages. It was a good year for batting with 43 players averaging over 50.
I don’t seem to recall Ackerman scoring heavily through the season but in 28 innings he scored eighteen fifties. On the other hand I thought Fatty Walker must have scored over 3000 runs but apparently all his runs are scored against Middlesex or when we are watching. Ed Smith scored five hundreds but only two fifties. His cavalier approach may be career threatening. I see that in the WC he claims that all first division openers had poor seasons and attributed it to the balls having a hard seam which facilitated movement.
The top batting wicket keepers were Pothas (973 at 64), Nixon (895 at 60), Frost (431 at 54), Sutton (666 at 51) and Foster (822 at 48). The quartet of touring keepers was Prior (934 at 46), Reid (727 at 43), Davies (1057 at 37) and Teflon (336 at 22).
The interesting thing about the bowlers is that the top three Pakistani bowlers Naved-ul-Hasan(1st), Mushtaq Ahmed (2nd)and Yasir Arafat (10th) played no part in the test series. It does seem an odd bit of selection given their problems with all bowling although I know Naved was injured. It is laughable that Kaneria was preferred to Ahmed.
Pepsi’s twelve wickets cost a mere 78.66 each. Some match winner. Bopara who is considered an all rounder took 22 at 45 each. Panesar took a surprising 71 wickets but his strike rate was over ten overs. Surprisingly Hamburger was at nine overs (each time I saw him it seemed to be every over). Hasan was at five, Schrek, Arafat and Lewis at six. If you exclude Middlesex fixtures Schrek would no doubt have made different reading? The top English off spinner was (I think) the Welsh Wizard with 66 wickets; Dalrymple took 29, Loudon 32 and Batty 43.
The Great Jack Morgan replied as follows
I don’t agree that Bopara is considered an all rounder. I think I mentioned before that he is just a batter who bowls a bit like Clarke, Collingwood, Butcher or Vaughan. Pepsi had a poor season with the ball and his 78 was beaten only by Richard Dawson (who was also bottom of Yorkshire’s batting averages according to the WC), whom I had thought Middlesex might pursue as a spinning recruit! But I do feel a bit sorry for those blokes who just meet the arbitrary qualification standard and are publicly humiliated, while someone else might have taken only 6 wickets at 200 apiece and could remain shrouded in anonymity because he wasn’t even good enough to qualify for the averages. At least Richard wasn’t the worst batsman in the country as well as the worst bowler. I bet you cannot guess the three worst batsmen in the country (according to the WC)... in 267th place, H Waters (who can actually bat a bit) ave 1.4; in 266th place, C Shreck (who cannot) ave 2.2; and who is this in 265th spot with an average of 3.8? Blimey, it’s S Ganguly!
Match Report
The following match was the Area Final of the National Knock-Out Trophy and it took place between South Hampstead and Southgate at Milverton Road on Monday 28 July 1975
In 1974 South Hampstead had won the Middlesex League and Cup double and so had recovered some of the invincibility of the Peach sides of the sixties. The weekend fixtures on both Saturdays and Sundays were still important to clubs and so cup matches were played mid week. South Hampstead had not had regular fixtures against Southgate until the league commenced in 1969 but they quickly took on the status of the mighty Bank Holiday Hornsey fixtures of the sixties. The match was eagerly anticipated and many members from both clubs, in addition to the players, were in attendance at the ground for the start. The matches in this competition were forty five overs a side and each bowler was restricted to eight. This requirement to use six bowlers would normally ensure that the Legendary Len Stubbs got a bowl but on this occasion he wasn’t the captain and so didn’t.
Southgate batted first and Steve Wright and Colin Done opened against our new ball attack of Ossie Burton and Ian Jerman. The score moved along quite briskly until Jerman bowled Wright with the last ball of the eighth over. Wright had scored 25 of the 35 added for the first wicket. Bob Peach relieved Ossie and with his first ball bowled Done to make the score 35 for 2. This brought Micky Dunn to the crease to join his skipper, Chris Payne. This was the key partnership for Southgate since if they were to get away from us these were the two guys to do it.
On reflection I am not quite sure why I was picked in this side since I appear to have been selected as wicket keeper before the Middlesex professional, Nigel Ross, who played but only batted. I was, however, fairly happy with my keeping at the time, particularly when not captaining. Peach bowled medium pace with a low arm and was quite skiddy. He asked me to stand up to him and I was delighted to catch Dunn off a bottom edge in the twentieth over with the score on 65. Geoff Howe had replaced Jerman and got through his first five overs. Cliff Dickeson then replaced him and Payne took a boundary from his first ball but when Steve Rowe got to the other end I caught him off a regulation edge to make the score 74 for 4.
Peach bowled out his eight overs and finished with a miserly 2 for 11 and was replaced by our other left arm spinner, Keith Hardie, brother of Essex’s Brian. We bowled our overs as quickly as possible while the slow bowlers were on to progress the innings. As always Dickeson fired the ball in short of a length and was difficult to score off. In his seventh over, the thirty fourth of the innings, he had Richard Ashby LBW for 12 and with the score at 98 for 5 there was the chance of us rolling over Southgate for a modest total. Dickeson finished his eight overs with the fine figures of 2 for 14. Jerman then came back to try to effect the kill, but his over went for ten and Southgate got a new lease of life. Andrew Wyatt added 57 with Chris Payne for the sixth wicket. Ossie bowled the last four overs from the Milverton Road end whilst Geoff Howe came up the hill at the Sidmouth Road end. In the forty-fourth over Payne skied a slog off Howe and I gratefully held the catch halfway to third man. Chris Payne, who I rate as one of the best players from the seventies, scored 65. The batsman had crossed and with the next ball Howe bowled Wyatt. Jim Conroy joined Robin Johns at the crease for the final over and they ran for everything until Conroy was run out on the last ball. Southgate finished with 165 for 8 from their 45 overs. We would probably have settled for that at the start but were a little disappointed that we had not managed to contain them to twenty or thirty less after our successes during the first part of their innings.
Nevertheless, we had a very strong batting side and fancied our chances to knock them off comfortably inside the distance. Nigel Ross opened with Terry Cordaroy against the bowling of Dunn and Good. After four overs we had only scored two runs but Ross then scored fourteen from Dunn’s third over. But two overs later he was bowled by Wyatt for 21 scored out of 26 for 1. Steve Thompson joined Cordaroy and they took the score sedately past fifty but Cordaroy was bowled by Wyatt with the score on 54. Keith Hardie joined Thompson but the latter became Wyatt’s third victim also bowled with the score on 61. The Legendary Len Stubbs came in at number five by which time Robin Johns had succeeded Andrew Wyatt at the Sidmouth Road end with his off spinners. In his second over he had Hardie LBW. Bob Peach joined Stubbs but in Johns’ next over Stubbs holed out. This brought me to the crease, confident after my wicket keeping exploits, and I read Johns’ first delivery as a half volley but didn’t lean into it and gave him a comfortable return catch. Holing out first ball was the last thing the side needed me to do. This reduced us to a worrying 72 for 6. I recently reminded Legendary Len that we had succumbed to successive balls and he replied: “I was caught at extra cover by Micky Dunn of all people. I can still see the bastard’s grinning face while the ball was in the air!”
It was 6.45pm when Ian Jerman joined Peach at the crease. I don’t recall, apart from the Ron Hooker Benefit Match, ever having seen so many people in the ground. From the pavilion, which was packed, all the way along the Mound to the gate there were spectators, many of who had come to the ground on their way home from work. Southgate was now expecting to win and the tension was growing. Jerman was one of the most ungainly batsmen you could wish to see. His arms and legs rarely seemed to be co-ordinated but he could hit the ball hard and was the sort of fighter that you would always want on your side in a crisis. There were still plenty of overs left but could we keep enough wickets intact?
They took the score past a hundred with a mixture of stout defence and judicious hitting and then their partnership went past fifty, but when Johns returned for his second spell, he bowled Peach for 29 to leave the score on 135 for 7. Their magnificent partnership of 63 had got us back in the game but was it enough? Cliff Dickeson joined Jerman and the tension in the pavilion was unbearable. Each run was greeted with relief and a boundary with thunderous applause. But now the overs were running out. However, in an attempt to force a victory by bowling us out Payne had used up the allocations of his front line bowlers Dunn, Good, Wyatt and Johns, who finished with 4 for 27 from his eight overs. It fell to Ashby to bowl the last over up the hill, the forty-fourth of the innings. We needed eleven runs to win. We managed eight from the over but lost Jerman who was stumped by Mike Smethers for 47. Geoff Howe joined Dickeson and watched as our New Zealander took three from the second ball of the final over of the innings bowled by Steve Rowe to secure a historic victory.
This was not a high scoring match but one played by two excellent sides who made each other fight for every run scored. The two clubs had become close in the few years since the beginning of competitive cricket in Middlesex and this match will always be remembered by both the participants and the huge crowd who endured the tensions of the final hour’s play.
The Trainspotters amongst us will be fascinated to note that Clive Coleman umpired and Peter Barclay scored for South Hampstead.
Strange Elevens The Great Jack Morgan was particularly pleased with last month’s side who wear the EU Jazz Hat since they were all borne outside England but within the EU. His challenge for you this month is the following bunch, which is a very strong batting side with Hooper at seven but no regular keeper since Kanhai has been given the gloves. Is this a clue? All you have to do is discover which Jazz Hat fits them all.
Roy Fredericks
Ramnaresh Sarwan
Rohan Kanhai (w/k)
Alvin Kallicharan
Shivnarine Chanderpaul
Clive Lloyd
Carl Hooper
Mahendra Nagamootoo
Colin Croft
Reon King
Lance Gibbs
Celebrity Spot
The following picture appeared in the October edition of the Wisden Cricketer as part of the obituary for Wasim Raja. Eagle eyed readers will have noticed that the wicket keeper is none other than Nigel Ross. Nigel is well known to many Googlies readers as a sometime Middlesex professional, a protégé of Dick Simpson, a South Hampstead player, an unappreciated crooner and, in his opinion, an underutilised bowler.
Please let me know if you spot any Googlies characters lurking around in photos whether old or current. If you can’t email them to me I can always scan a photo and return it to you.
Amazing catches
Perhaps the most remarkable catch I saw all season was in a day night match that was televised from Chelmsford. Ryan ten Doechate was fielding on the mid wicket boundary when the ball was slogged in his direction. He leapt up and caught the ball inside the boundary but realised that his momentum was going to take him over the boundary and so released the ball up in the air. He then stepped over the boundary and lunged back forward to complete the catch inside the field of play. This extraordinary manoeuvre was ultimately thwarted though as the umpire called the delivery a no ball.
Irritating trends in Modern Cricket number 41
Few would argue that the media’s role in modern cricket has improved the presentation of cricket significantly since the days of Peter West. However, there are few more irritating features than the post match interview that attempts to elicit pearls of wisdom from the star participants who invariably can hardly string two words together. Sweaty individuals always wearing headgear are pushed in front of the camera and asked banal questions to which they respond in like manner. Both we and they can do without this.
But this pales almost into insignificance alongside the cameramen who accompanies a dismissed batsman back to the pavilion with camera once again shoved into the batsman’s face. The only consolation is that at least so far there isn’t a commentator asking him for his views on the ball that dismissed him or his views on the parentage of the umpire who gave him out. But I fear it is only a matter of time. Then someone dismissed for a Blonger will wrap his bat around the cameraman’s head.
Football Matters
Most of you seem more interested in Andrew Baker’s activities with Kelvin West’s park side than in the forthcoming Ashes. Andrew is a difficult man to get hold of these days, but he tells me that he is seeking to strengthen his squad. To this end he is organising a series of recruiting drives. The following photo shows him vetting the candidates at the first one before they get down to business.
Andrew has promised to keep me abreast, so to speak, of developments. I will have to consider the appropriateness of publishing the nitty gritty of his training techniques.
Earlier Editions
I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: tiksha@btinternet.com
Football Matters I was hoping to bring you an update on Andrew Baker’s new role as Manager of Kelvin West’s local soccer side. However, Andrew has proved extremely difficult to contact and all I get back is messages saying that he is “tied up”, “giving one on one coaching sessions”, “the team are exercising behind closed doors” etc. As soon as I hear anything from the man himself I will pass it on.
Earlier Editions
I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: tiksha@btinternet.com
7"> However, we tracked down a club that has had honourable mentions in this chronicle, and so she is now a Teddington member, benefiting from the advice of real coaching, and not just Grandfather and (occasionally) Dad. But it did not take Touche Ross - or whoever they are today - to calculate that it has cost the better part of five hundred pounds to kit her out, send her to Lord’s, pay her club sub, etc. Is this still, sadly, a reason why the Summer Game struggles against that other 11-a-side pastime, where all you basically need is a football?
Ashes Matters and another Crawshay Offer Dick Crawshay vents his spleen over the ticketing arrangements for this winter’s activities and makes you all another generous offer
Well the Ashes series has started in earnest with the Australian side showing severe cracks in their armoury. The ticketing arrangements were a scandal. They simply learnt nothing form the Olympic experience, where the ticketing problems resulted in an official apology form the Government Minister in charge. Thankfully the games didn’t suffer the same fate.
The planning for the ticket allocation for the Ashes series seemed sensible. Set up a site for the keen supporters, calling them ‘The Cricket Family’. Send them emails telling them how special they are and how easy it will be to get tickets. Keep up the excitement with a countdown on days to go- and get ready to order. Give them a personal access code that is impossible to remember and difficult to decipher, and wait for the phones to ring and the website to open.
Thursday 1st June is ‘A’ day. I was ready with my laptop and back up multi- line phone at my side. First problem- not one access point for all tickets, but separate ones and even separate ticket agencies for each venue. So choose your priorities first.
I chose Sydney. I live here. It’s a smaller ground and tickets will be harder to get. Another choice to make- which day? Can’t book all days, have to re-register for each day. So dialling, typing, dialling, typing. All engaged. Internet site not accessible. Manage to access, then it crashes, and crashes again. Phone lines still constantly engaged. After an hour of continuous attempts I finally get through. All tickets sold out in Sydney!
Try Melbourne. Buy tickets for the first day- times out just as I’m putting in my credit card detail. Drat it. Try again…and again. Finally get tickets for the Second Day of the Melbourne test, then the third, and then the fourth. (First day sold out in 20 minutes).
Now I will get ready to try again when the general issue is made. Fracas gets media attention in spades. Officials explain they could not predict the huge demand. They couldn’t, but I, and every other cricket fan could! Incidentally, they sold out so quickly because you were able to purchase up to ten tickets each time. Now that’s a sure way to encourage scalpers- the very thing they were saying wouldn’t happen.
Anyway, back to general issue. With staggered availability dates for Sydney and Melbourne- this will overcome the problems, they said. Armed as before, no problems with the technique. Results exactly the same. Cannot access by Internet or phone. Sydney sold out in 15 minutes! Melbourne applications open two days later. Apply for first day- nup, sold out!
So I have four tickets for 2nd, 3rd and 4th days in Melbourne, but dammit it, I only want two! So the real point of this missive is to ask you if you want to publish this note in the next issue of Googlies and Chinamen, so see if any of the subscribers wish to purchase two tickets for 2/3/4 days of Melbourne test at the issue prices. They are all reserved tickets, mainly in the Great Southern stand, but the prices vary slightly. Day 2 is $42 per ticket. Day 3 is $52 per ticket. Day 4 is $70 per ticket. I will hold on to them for a few weeks to see if any SCD Old boys etc. are keen on coming out to Oz at Christmas.
Jeez, I hope they play better cricket than their officials can administer ticket allocation.
If anyone wants to take Dick up on his offer I can let you have his contact details
Match Reports
You get two for the price of one this time. The following games took place over the weekend of Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th June 1980.The first took place at Sidmouth Road between South Hampstead and Stanmore first elevens and the Sunday match was at Lonsdale Road between South Hampstead and Barnes first elevens.
Once League and Cup cricket commenced I played most of my cricket on a Sunday but would always fill in if the Saturday side were short or in need of a keeper. This must have been one such occasion and I played in both of these matches that are linked for a special reason.
The Stanmore match was a Lambert and Butler cup game of 45 overs per side and was played in perfect conditions. Steve Thompson, the Saturday captain, wasn’t playing and the scoresheet does not record who led the side. I suspect that it was Terry Cordaroy but it may have been Bob Cozens. South Hampstead batted first and Terry opened the batting with Mark Rigby against Stanmore’s new ball attack of Ross Chiese and Arthur Ferry. Progress was steady if unspectacular and when Ferry gave way after nine overs to Kirby the score was only 34. However, runs began to flow more freely and Terry reached his fifty in 65 minutes. The hundred partnership followed and then Rigby reached his fifty after ninety-eight minutes. The field settings became more defensive as the innings progressed and both batsmen scored a large number of singles. In due course Terry completed his hundred and the double century partnership was reached. When the forty-five overs were completed Cordaroy had reached 127 and Rigby was 92 not out. South Hampstead had scored 240 for 0. Jeremy Asquith and David Simpson had been padded up all afternoon but were not required.
Ellis and Mawson opened the Stanmore innings against Ossie Burton and Ross Bevins. With the score at 21 Bevins bowled Ellis and then David Simpson took over from Ossie and dismissed Mawson and Nickless to leave Stanmore on 86 for 3. Tyler was going well but when he had reached 55 he was caught by Simpson off Bob Cozens. Although Chiese and Nicholls both went cheaply to Lyric Carter Stanmore were still in the game as long as Webb stayed at the crease. However, in the pursuit of quick runs Kirby, Pauncefort and Summaria were all run out. When Arthur Ferry came to the crease Ossie had been recalled but it was Webb who was the last wicket to fall when Ossie bowled him for 76. Stanmore had scored a creditable 216 in 42.3 overs.
At Barnes on the Sunday I won the toss and South Hampstead batted first on a very dry wicket. Rigby hadn’t been selected for this match and I moved Cordaroy down the order to give some of our other batsmen the chance of a knock. Kit Fawcett opened the batting with Steve Thompson and when the latter was caught for 59 after seventy-six minutes the score was 90. Fawcett was caught for 42 at 115 and this brought Tim Miles in to join Ranji Kerai. Ranji was bowled for 26 and Miles was caught for 37. This brought Bob Cozens in to join Cordaroy who had joined the proceedings at the unaccustomed role as number five. Bob, as was his wont, clubbed a couple of sixes and I was able to declare after fifty overs at 222 for 4.
You never really knew what to expect with Barnes as they were a peripheral club to our usual opposition and they did have some fine players in Alastair Brittain and Richard Smethers. But on this occasion neither of them was playing. Rice and Carter opened the bowling for us and the opening batsmen, Lomas and Coombes, saw them off, albeit making slow progress. Rice gave way to Bob Cozens and Carter to John Mountjoy. After Bob made the breakthrough Mountjoy had a dramatic impact on the proceedings. He was a tall lad and a nephew of the professional snooker player, still at university, with big hands and bowled off spin. On this occasion the increasingly dusty surface gave him a lot of assistance and he turned it almost square. He took wickets in his second, third and fourth overs and the game was virtually over. Bob Cozens grabbed another couple of wickets but it was Mountjoy who was nearly unplayable and he soon finished off the innings. His final analysis was 7 for 14 in 12.1 overs whilst Cozens took 3 for 33. Barnes succumbed for 90 after being 49 for 0.
The thing that links these two games is the first wicket stands shared between the four South Hampstead batsmen who added 330 over the weekend before the first wicket fell.
For those of you wondering what my contribution to the two victories was, I cannot recall any specific personal feat but I can report that the scorecards say that I took a catch on the Saturday and a stumping on the Sunday and conceded no byes all weekend. So there.
Irritating trends in Modern Cricket – Number 38
There was a time when wicket keeping was a serious art, practised by specialists who performed the role with dignity and style. You only have to picture John Murray, Jimmy Binks and Bob Taylor in action. Surprisingly, this is not going to be another tirade against the lack of skill exhibited by the various Johnnies who now get the job because someone lent them a pair of gloves. What concerns us here is that the second requirement of being a wicket keeper today is that he is able to keep up a stream of non-stop verbal drivel whilst he is performing his tasks. (The first requirement is of course, that he can score more runs than the rest of the batters in the order above him.)
Having graduated from the moron finishing school the modern wicket keeper has first to learn all of the bowlers nick names and he is free to make some up, if there is not one in common use, by adding a y as suffix to their names. He then has to applaud and encourage the bowlers and fielders every ball with endlessly repetitive platitudes that would even embarrass a mediocre American motivational speaker.
He has to go to night classes to pick up the modern idioms that are simply euphemisms in disguise. For example if the bowler pitches on a good length, which after all is what he is supposed to do, our chirpy modern incumbent of the gloves has to bay out “Good areas”. When the bowler pitches an ordinary delivery that finds the middle of the bat he will cry out “Nice pressure”.
These pointless and tedious offerings are made all the more irritating to the unfortunate television viewer because of the presence of stump microphones. But this doesn’t excuse the practice. A classic example of this phenomenon of verbal pyrotechnics was displayed by the highly regarded Lancashire back up keeper, Gareth Cross, in the C&G victory over Warwickshire. The one advantage the development has is that if he misses the ball with his gloves there is a good chance that the ball will lodge in his ever-open mouth.
Strange Elevens
You may recall that in Editions 38 and 39 the Great Jack Morgan produced two sides of Shepherds Bush members who had all been at St. Clement Danes. Alvin Nienow detected the common Jazz Hat and promised to submit an alternate side that fitted the same cap. He has at last come up with his version, which looks as if it could drink anyone else under the table:
1. Jim Whyman-SCD pre-war-superb opening bat at Bush-in the Amelot best SCD XI-died at about 40 from cancer in 1960.
2. Jack Barrett-again pre-war – 1st XI opening bat and occasional leg spin, loved his gin
3. Paddy Malone-School Captain, left SCD ’49-occasional Bush 1st XI
4. Ray Bixley-50?-occasional Bush 1st XI
5. Den Pierce-56- womaniser, body builder and therefore hard hitter-mainly 1st XI
6. Jim Nethaway- 51-occasional 1st XI-cricket and regular choice for drinking XI
7. Ted Nethaway- 50?-elder brother to Jim, slow left arm and bat-mainly 1st XI
8. Andrew Richmond-60? 2nd or 3rd XI (father 3rd XI captain for many years)
9. Duncan Kerr- 54 Brilliant jazz piano, chess and maths-2nd XI
10. ‘Slosh’ Knubley-51? -Captain-brilliant leader of Bush 3rd XI late 1950’s-first choice for drinking XI
11. Dennis Austen-pre-war (wkt)-3rd XI only-President for many years and definitely captain of the drinking XI
12th man - Jackson-54? -2ndXI bat.
Alvin admits, “My side is very light on bowling but has plenty of characters and would have won most matches in the bar! Of Jack Morgan’s XI, I only had John Adams since his father skippered the Bush 3rd XI in my time there, probably after Slosh Knubley.”
I suppose that it is time to produce a Danes based side for South Hampstead. Can anyone oblige?
The Great Jack Morgan has come up with yet another side to qualify for a unique Jazz Hat. Can you work out which one it is?
Vic Wilson
Matt Prior
Brian Taylor (w/k)
Ken Suttle
Alex Loudon
Graeme Swann
Keith Medlycott
Martyn Ball
Ashley Cowan
Ricky Ellcock
Jason Brown
Football Matters You may recall that in last month’s edition Kelvin West made an appeal to find a new manager for his local park side. Andrew Baker was first off the blocks and he sent me a most impressive CV, which I was happy to forward to Kelvin. After a rigorous interview process Andrew was installed as the new manager and he is licking them into shape, so to speak.
Andrew Baker looking pretty pleased with himself about his new job
The training sessions have so far been held in camera but Kelvin crept into the training ground and snapped this photo of the team practising its new “wall” to defend free kicks.
Quiz answers
7. c; 8. a, b, c; 9. d; 10. d
Googlies Volume 2 now available
I have now published the second twenty editions of Googlies & Chinamen in hardback form. Both volumes are available from www.lulu.com or if you prefer from me at the contact details below.
Earlier Editions I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: tiksha@btinternet.com
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 47
November 2006
Ashes Matters
Here we go again and the outlook seems pretty gloomy for Brisbane and thereafter. Last time around I was accused by the Professor and George of being a miserable old git for my pessimistic outlook. I emailed the Professor for his predictions recently and he sent back a stark 4-0.
It occurs to me that none of the England side has played any first class cricket since the truncated Oval outing and some, of course, since a lot earlier. Does the term "match fit" actually mean anything anymore? If it does then almost none of them will be. Even before the Champions Trophy the Indians played an internal tournament to prepare themselves. England's preparations before this competition and the Ashes seems to comprise nothing more than giving themselves well deserved (sic) time off.
England won the Ashes in England because they employed a four man pace attack reminiscent of the West Indians in the seventies and eighties. If it lacked some of their firepower it compensated with the reverse swing phenomenon, which at least Jones and Flintoff had perfected. I was at Old Trafford this summer when Harmison blew away the Pakistanis in a couple of hours on an admittedly helpful track. But the crucial thing was his unerring accuracy on this occasion. However, ever since he has reverted to serving up old-fashioned rinse. This culminated in his being dropped for the final ODI in the Champions Trophy. I am in the camp that thinks that bowlers need to bowl in match conditions to get their rhythm. Harmison like Flintoff has no opportunity left to do this before Brisbane. Hoggard has had an injury as well and Mahmood has been spraying it. The chances of them all coming good in Brisbane is at best remote.
We all know that Lewis is ten mph below the requirement to join Fletch’s test attack, but when he came in for Harmison in the ODI against the West Indies he was the only bowler to return respectable figures. The arrival of unwanted bowlers into the side who perform better than the incumbents is becoming an embarrassment for Fletch. He doesn’t really want Monty in the side and now that Gilo has been declared fully fit, although, of course, he hasn’t turned his arm over in anger, it will be interesting to see who gets the nod in Brisbane. Too much should not be read into the final Champions Trophy win. The West Indies used it as batting practise and only jogged their runs. They rested their key bowlers and so the chase, admirable in itself was nevertheless against their second string attack and beyond any impact on the competition.
I don't think that the Aussies are the complete thing but they will click into Ashes mode quicker than England. If England get off to a bad start then it will be even more difficult to claw their way back than it was last year. The Aussies are apparently considering Watson at six or seven, presumably in place of Clarke. If they do go for him it will give them better bowling options since they hardly use Clarke as a bowler. Their side could be:
Langer, Hayden, Ponting, Martyn, Hussey, Watson or Clarke, Gilchrist, Warne, Lee, Clark, McGrath
This leaves them with Symonds, Katich, Jaques and loads of other batters on the side. It also gives them the newish guns Bracken and Johnson as standbys in the fast bowling department. It all looks pretty formidable.
Geoff Boycott didn’t wait for the plane to land in Australia and has already called for Fletch’s head. He considers that England’s continued failure in ODIs to be unacceptable and says that he should go. Whilst other countries take ODIs seriously in their own right England use them no more than to blood new players. The England camp will therefore be ranking the Ashes well ahead of the World Cup. Success in either would well exceed our expectations.
Etiquette Matters
When embarking on a day’s cricket watching it is always important to bear in mind the etiquette of what are and what are not permissible topics of conversation. You would normally find the following acceptable:
- Tales of previous encounters between the two sides
- The performances of certain of the participating players
- Anomalies of the averages
- The merits or otherwise of Twenty20 cricket
- Drinking tales involving David Jukes
- The sexual activities of third team players with the tea ladies at away matches
- The exploits of your offspring (but be careful!)
However, there are some topics that are certain to get you banned from any pavilion and banished to the solo deckchair zone in any ground. I strongly recommend that you steer clear of the following topics:
- The theological differences between Sunni and Shiite Muslims.
- Your views on the causes of avian flu.
- The geomorphology of the Upper Limpopo Valley (but strangely Bog Eye’s inadequacies as a Geography teacher is permitted).
- The technical implications of divorce law on inheritance tax.
- The contrasting social, economic and political arguments for postal deliveries in rural communities.
- All aspects of eighteenth century military uniforms.
- Whether philately should be treated as a pastime or investment
- The relative merits of travelling on Virgin and West Coast trains.
- An assessment of the calculations proving the dangers of global warming.
Very Difficult Quiz
1. Who is this man?
2. What was the occasion?
3. Where was the picture taken?
4. What is he doing?
5. Why was he subsequently gutted?
6. Who is the woman in the background?
The photo is of Arthur Smith, the comedian, and it was taken at Cholmondeley Park earlier this year at the Lord’s Taverners charity match between Lord Stafford’s XI and Nick Hancock’s XI. He took the chair onto the field of play and fielded on it after completing his bowling spell for Nick Hancock’s side. After the match as I was leaving the ground I spotted Arthur wandering around the outfield. I called across and said that I thought that he should have been Man of the Match. He replied: “I agree, I am gutted”. I’ve no idea who the woman in the background is but if you are really interested I suggest that you contact Andrew Baker.
Xen Matters Murray Hedgcock’s provocative article last month prompted this reply from the Professor
My other thoughts are about the "xenophobe" piece. If there really is someone called Murray Hedgecock, I fear he did not put the case as well as he might. While I fully agree with his complaints about the "endless procession" of overseas players "slipping in and out of county teams", the rest seems a bit of a muddle. He starts by declaring that the England team should be English and then instantly backtracks to allow in the rest of the United Kingdom. Then we move to the "country of your birth" bit which, as we all know, would rule out Dexter, Cowdrey, F R Brown, etc, etc. (I can see the GJM scribbling out a couple (at least) very good England sides made up of players not born in England). We then move ground again to the well-worn "learned the game" criterion. The problem here is, of course, how much of the game? Most people who get to Test level start pretty early. What bits of
the game are allowed to have been learned overseas before the player takes up residence in the UK? Fielding positions? The off-drive? The LBW law? How to drink yourself stupid the night before and still open the batting? The only sensible position is to accept the regulations (whatever they are) and put out the best side you can from those players qualified to play for the country. My beef, as you know, is about the number of county cricketers who are not qualified to play for England who earn very considerable sums of money, largely derived from Test match revenues, which could be used to develop cricket throughout the country and instead are used by myopic county committees to try to buy instant success for the gratification of the handful of spectators who turn up to watch.
I then received this from the great Jack Morgan The trouble with Murray’s argument that “counties should basically comprise locals” is that this has never been the case, except in Yorkshire and, to a certain extent, Glamorgan. I recall that when I started following the game back in the mid-fifties, county sides fielded the likes of Bruce Dooland, Pom-Pom Fellows-Smith, Vic Jackson, Jack Manning, Keith Dollery, Jock Livingstone, John McMahon, George Tribe, Jack Pettiford, Denis Foreman, Bill Alley, Gamini Goonesena, Stuart Leary, Jack Walsh, Alan Walker, Ken Grieves, Colin McCool, Peter Arnold, Ray Hitchcock, Laddie Outschoorn, Peter Wight, Laurie Johnson, Roy Marshall, Tom Pritchard and Billy Ibadulla, while the Oxford and Cambridge sides were absolutely packed with colonials. There seems little logic in deciding, fifty years later, that sides should comprise locals. I also find it strange that Murray should complain about the selection of Tony Greig (don’t forget Ian), Graeme Hick, Allan Lamb, Robin and Chris Smith, Martin McCague, Andy Caddick and Geraint Jones as every one of these players had British parents and British passports (McCague was actually born in the UK) and it is surely an established principle in most sports that players are fully entitled to represent the country of their parents and, in many cases, a single grandparent is sufficient to confer eligibility. In addition, all of the above players also had to serve a lengthy residential qualification period before being declared eligible, something that is not considered necessary by many sports. In the case of Kevin Pietersen, he has an English mother and English grandparents and served the necessary residential qualification period. Just how difficult should it be for the sons of the British to return to represent the country of their parents? As far as many of us are concerned, these are our “own people”. If England had selected Stuart Law and Andy Flower, as they are entitled to do, then I might have had some sympathy with Murray’s argument.
I copied these thoughts to Murray who sent me this
James: You as Editor will be happy - there's nothing like a response and controversy to keep a publication alive and in good health. And I'm only too pleased, in the Aussie phrase, to stir the possums. I shall be delighted to see you run the comments - and to keep the pot boiling, would hope my further thoughts could be appended. I assume the Professor doesn't mind having his leg pulled?
I've often wondered why the Professor is The Professor: now I know, as his thoughts on xenophobia are straight out of the academic's "Handbook of Distortion". Charging down blind alleys, ignoring or distorting arguments, inventing his own definitions, wilfully ignoring good points made, standing conclusions on their head, letting excellent deliveries go past off-stump - I assume he is Professor of Logic at the University of Shepherds Bush? Or some such.
Pausing only to confirm that there is no-one called Murray Hedgecock (it's Hedgcock, actually), I move to his conclusion: "The only sensible position is to accept the regulations". What about reform, the need for change, and the right of the independent thinker to crusade against laws he or she believes to be wrong? I thought universities sponsored independent thought - not a craven readiness to go along with petty regulation.
The Great Jack Morgan puts a thoughtful case, based on historic precedent, but it does not affect gut feeling as far as I am concerned. I still believe, genuinely, that it's pretty feeble of the England game that it finds it necessary to recruit every possible outsider; under whatever qualification rules it can adjust (they have been most carefully and deliberately widened over the years). I say again, that that it does not happen elsewhere. The Professor appears to have closed the seminar before getting round to that basic issue. And as to the future - they're generally good blokes, but I just can't look forward to the day when the England XI is all Polish.........
South Hampstead Matters
Bob Peach tells me that in the circumstances South Hampstead had a reasonably good season. Neither the first nor second elevens were relegated from their respective leagues and the third eleven, when all was doomed, remarkably won their last five matches to stay up.
The Middlesex bowler Alan Richardson only played once this year when he turned out for the Bush in a match against South Hampstead, although he was not registered to play for them. He rolled over the South Hampstead tail when they only needed a few to win and that didn’t go down too well. But apparently nobody bothered to register a formal complaint and so the result stood.
Average Matters
After the end of each season I send the Great Jack Morgan some comments on the averages in an attempt to appear worldly wise and sageful about the season. These were my observations this autumn
As usual the end of season averages makes fascinating reading. After Ramprakesh with eight hundreds and Flower with seven Compton finds himself in exalted company with six-Lehman, Crawley, Goodwin, Loye and Spearman. The other strange bedfellow here is Zulu. Middlesex must be feeling decidedly short changed from 2004 since this year he scored 1265 at 65.84 to finish eighth in the averages. It was a good year for batting with 43 players averaging over 50.
I don’t seem to recall Ackerman scoring heavily through the season but in 28 innings he scored eighteen fifties. On the other hand I thought Fatty Walker must have scored over 3000 runs but apparently all his runs are scored against Middlesex or when we are watching. Ed Smith scored five hundreds but only two fifties. His cavalier approach may be career threatening. I see that in the WC he claims that all first division openers had poor seasons and attributed it to the balls having a hard seam which facilitated movement.
The top batting wicket keepers were Pothas (973 at 64), Nixon (895 at 60), Frost (431 at 54), Sutton (666 at 51) and Foster (822 at 48). The quartet of touring keepers was Prior (934 at 46), Reid (727 at 43), Davies (1057 at 37) and Teflon (336 at 22).
The interesting thing about the bowlers is that the top three Pakistani bowlers Naved-ul-Hasan(1st), Mushtaq Ahmed (2nd)and Yasir Arafat (10th) played no part in the test series. It does seem an odd bit of selection given their problems with all bowling although I know Naved was injured. It is laughable that Kaneria was preferred to Ahmed.
Pepsi’s twelve wickets cost a mere 78.66 each. Some match winner. Bopara who is considered an all rounder took 22 at 45 each. Panesar took a surprising 71 wickets but his strike rate was over ten overs. Surprisingly Hamburger was at nine overs (each time I saw him it seemed to be every over). Hasan was at five, Schrek, Arafat and Lewis at six. If you exclude Middlesex fixtures Schrek would no doubt have made different reading? The top English off spinner was (I think) the Welsh Wizard with 66 wickets; Dalrymple took 29, Loudon 32 and Batty 43.
The Great Jack Morgan replied as follows
I don’t agree that Bopara is considered an all rounder. I think I mentioned before that he is just a batter who bowls a bit like Clarke, Collingwood, Butcher or Vaughan. Pepsi had a poor season with the ball and his 78 was beaten only by Richard Dawson (who was also bottom of Yorkshire’s batting averages according to the WC), whom I had thought Middlesex might pursue as a spinning recruit! But I do feel a bit sorry for those blokes who just meet the arbitrary qualification standard and are publicly humiliated, while someone else might have taken only 6 wickets at 200 apiece and could remain shrouded in anonymity because he wasn’t even good enough to qualify for the averages. At least Richard wasn’t the worst batsman in the country as well as the worst bowler. I bet you cannot guess the three worst batsmen in the country (according to the WC)... in 267th place, H Waters (who can actually bat a bit) ave 1.4; in 266th place, C Shreck (who cannot) ave 2.2; and who is this in 265th spot with an average of 3.8? Blimey, it’s S Ganguly!
Match Report
The following match was the Area Final of the National Knock-Out Trophy and it took place between South Hampstead and Southgate at Milverton Road on Monday 28 July 1975
In 1974 South Hampstead had won the Middlesex League and Cup double and so had recovered some of the invincibility of the Peach sides of the sixties. The weekend fixtures on both Saturdays and Sundays were still important to clubs and so cup matches were played mid week. South Hampstead had not had regular fixtures against Southgate until the league commenced in 1969 but they quickly took on the status of the mighty Bank Holiday Hornsey fixtures of the sixties. The match was eagerly anticipated and many members from both clubs, in addition to the players, were in attendance at the ground for the start. The matches in this competition were forty five overs a side and each bowler was restricted to eight. This requirement to use six bowlers would normally ensure that the Legendary Len Stubbs got a bowl but on this occasion he wasn’t the captain and so didn’t.
Southgate batted first and Steve Wright and Colin Done opened against our new ball attack of Ossie Burton and Ian Jerman. The score moved along quite briskly until Jerman bowled Wright with the last ball of the eighth over. Wright had scored 25 of the 35 added for the first wicket. Bob Peach relieved Ossie and with his first ball bowled Done to make the score 35 for 2. This brought Micky Dunn to the crease to join his skipper, Chris Payne. This was the key partnership for Southgate since if they were to get away from us these were the two guys to do it.
On reflection I am not quite sure why I was picked in this side since I appear to have been selected as wicket keeper before the Middlesex professional, Nigel Ross, who played but only batted. I was, however, fairly happy with my keeping at the time, particularly when not captaining. Peach bowled medium pace with a low arm and was quite skiddy. He asked me to stand up to him and I was delighted to catch Dunn off a bottom edge in the twentieth over with the score on 65. Geoff Howe had replaced Jerman and got through his first five overs. Cliff Dickeson then replaced him and Payne took a boundary from his first ball but when Steve Rowe got to the other end I caught him off a regulation edge to make the score 74 for 4.
Peach bowled out his eight overs and finished with a miserly 2 for 11 and was replaced by our other left arm spinner, Keith Hardie, brother of Essex’s Brian. We bowled our overs as quickly as possible while the slow bowlers were on to progress the innings. As always Dickeson fired the ball in short of a length and was difficult to score off. In his seventh over, the thirty fourth of the innings, he had Richard Ashby LBW for 12 and with the score at 98 for 5 there was the chance of us rolling over Southgate for a modest total. Dickeson finished his eight overs with the fine figures of 2 for 14. Jerman then came back to try to effect the kill, but his over went for ten and Southgate got a new lease of life. Andrew Wyatt added 57 with Chris Payne for the sixth wicket. Ossie bowled the last four overs from the Milverton Road end whilst Geoff Howe came up the hill at the Sidmouth Road end. In the forty-fourth over Payne skied a slog off Howe and I gratefully held the catch halfway to third man. Chris Payne, who I rate as one of the best players from the seventies, scored 65. The batsman had crossed and with the next ball Howe bowled Wyatt. Jim Conroy joined Robin Johns at the crease for the final over and they ran for everything until Conroy was run out on the last ball. Southgate finished with 165 for 8 from their 45 overs. We would probably have settled for that at the start but were a little disappointed that we had not managed to contain them to twenty or thirty less after our successes during the first part of their innings.
Nevertheless, we had a very strong batting side and fancied our chances to knock them off comfortably inside the distance. Nigel Ross opened with Terry Cordaroy against the bowling of Dunn and Good. After four overs we had only scored two runs but Ross then scored fourteen from Dunn’s third over. But two overs later he was bowled by Wyatt for 21 scored out of 26 for 1. Steve Thompson joined Cordaroy and they took the score sedately past fifty but Cordaroy was bowled by Wyatt with the score on 54. Keith Hardie joined Thompson but the latter became Wyatt’s third victim also bowled with the score on 61. The Legendary Len Stubbs came in at number five by which time Robin Johns had succeeded Andrew Wyatt at the Sidmouth Road end with his off spinners. In his second over he had Hardie LBW. Bob Peach joined Stubbs but in Johns’ next over Stubbs holed out. This brought me to the crease, confident after my wicket keeping exploits, and I read Johns’ first delivery as a half volley but didn’t lean into it and gave him a comfortable return catch. Holing out first ball was the last thing the side needed me to do. This reduced us to a worrying 72 for 6. I recently reminded Legendary Len that we had succumbed to successive balls and he replied: “I was caught at extra cover by Micky Dunn of all people. I can still see the bastard’s grinning face while the ball was in the air!”
It was 6.45pm when Ian Jerman joined Peach at the crease. I don’t recall, apart from the Ron Hooker Benefit Match, ever having seen so many people in the ground. From the pavilion, which was packed, all the way along the Mound to the gate there were spectators, many of who had come to the ground on their way home from work. Southgate was now expecting to win and the tension was growing. Jerman was one of the most ungainly batsmen you could wish to see. His arms and legs rarely seemed to be co-ordinated but he could hit the ball hard and was the sort of fighter that you would always want on your side in a crisis. There were still plenty of overs left but could we keep enough wickets intact?
They took the score past a hundred with a mixture of stout defence and judicious hitting and then their partnership went past fifty, but when Johns returned for his second spell, he bowled Peach for 29 to leave the score on 135 for 7. Their magnificent partnership of 63 had got us back in the game but was it enough? Cliff Dickeson joined Jerman and the tension in the pavilion was unbearable. Each run was greeted with relief and a boundary with thunderous applause. But now the overs were running out. However, in an attempt to force a victory by bowling us out Payne had used up the allocations of his front line bowlers Dunn, Good, Wyatt and Johns, who finished with 4 for 27 from his eight overs. It fell to Ashby to bowl the last over up the hill, the forty-fourth of the innings. We needed eleven runs to win. We managed eight from the over but lost Jerman who was stumped by Mike Smethers for 47. Geoff Howe joined Dickeson and watched as our New Zealander took three from the second ball of the final over of the innings bowled by Steve Rowe to secure a historic victory.
This was not a high scoring match but one played by two excellent sides who made each other fight for every run scored. The two clubs had become close in the few years since the beginning of competitive cricket in Middlesex and this match will always be remembered by both the participants and the huge crowd who endured the tensions of the final hour’s play.
The Trainspotters amongst us will be fascinated to note that Clive Coleman umpired and Peter Barclay scored for South Hampstead.
Strange Elevens The Great Jack Morgan was particularly pleased with last month’s side who wear the EU Jazz Hat since they were all borne outside England but within the EU. His challenge for you this month is the following bunch, which is a very strong batting side with Hooper at seven but no regular keeper since Kanhai has been given the gloves. Is this a clue? All you have to do is discover which Jazz Hat fits them all.
Roy Fredericks
Ramnaresh Sarwan
Rohan Kanhai (w/k)
Alvin Kallicharan
Shivnarine Chanderpaul
Clive Lloyd
Carl Hooper
Mahendra Nagamootoo
Colin Croft
Reon King
Lance Gibbs
Celebrity Spot
The following picture appeared in the October edition of the Wisden Cricketer as part of the obituary for Wasim Raja. Eagle eyed readers will have noticed that the wicket keeper is none other than Nigel Ross. Nigel is well known to many Googlies readers as a sometime Middlesex professional, a protégé of Dick Simpson, a South Hampstead player, an unappreciated crooner and, in his opinion, an underutilised bowler.
Please let me know if you spot any Googlies characters lurking around in photos whether old or current. If you can’t email them to me I can always scan a photo and return it to you.
Amazing catches
Perhaps the most remarkable catch I saw all season was in a day night match that was televised from Chelmsford. Ryan ten Doechate was fielding on the mid wicket boundary when the ball was slogged in his direction. He leapt up and caught the ball inside the boundary but realised that his momentum was going to take him over the boundary and so released the ball up in the air. He then stepped over the boundary and lunged back forward to complete the catch inside the field of play. This extraordinary manoeuvre was ultimately thwarted though as the umpire called the delivery a no ball.
Irritating trends in Modern Cricket number 41
Few would argue that the media’s role in modern cricket has improved the presentation of cricket significantly since the days of Peter West. However, there are few more irritating features than the post match interview that attempts to elicit pearls of wisdom from the star participants who invariably can hardly string two words together. Sweaty individuals always wearing headgear are pushed in front of the camera and asked banal questions to which they respond in like manner. Both we and they can do without this.
But this pales almost into insignificance alongside the cameramen who accompanies a dismissed batsman back to the pavilion with camera once again shoved into the batsman’s face. The only consolation is that at least so far there isn’t a commentator asking him for his views on the ball that dismissed him or his views on the parentage of the umpire who gave him out. But I fear it is only a matter of time. Then someone dismissed for a Blonger will wrap his bat around the cameraman’s head.
Football Matters
Most of you seem more interested in Andrew Baker’s activities with Kelvin West’s park side than in the forthcoming Ashes. Andrew is a difficult man to get hold of these days, but he tells me that he is seeking to strengthen his squad. To this end he is organising a series of recruiting drives. The following photo shows him vetting the candidates at the first one before they get down to business.
Andrew has promised to keep me abreast, so to speak, of developments. I will have to consider the appropriateness of publishing the nitty gritty of his training techniques.
Earlier Editions
I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: tiksha@btinternet.com
Football Matters I was hoping to bring you an update on Andrew Baker’s new role as Manager of Kelvin West’s local soccer side. However, Andrew has proved extremely difficult to contact and all I get back is messages saying that he is “tied up”, “giving one on one coaching sessions”, “the team are exercising behind closed doors” etc. As soon as I hear anything from the man himself I will pass it on.
Earlier Editions
I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: tiksha@btinternet.com
7"> However, we tracked down a club that has had honourable mentions in this chronicle, and so she is now a Teddington member, benefiting from the advice of real coaching, and not just Grandfather and (occasionally) Dad. But it did not take Touche Ross - or whoever they are today - to calculate that it has cost the better part of five hundred pounds to kit her out, send her to Lord’s, pay her club sub, etc. Is this still, sadly, a reason why the Summer Game struggles against that other 11-a-side pastime, where all you basically need is a football?
Ashes Matters and another Crawshay Offer Dick Crawshay vents his spleen over the ticketing arrangements for this winter’s activities and makes you all another generous offer
Well the Ashes series has started in earnest with the Australian side showing severe cracks in their armoury. The ticketing arrangements were a scandal. They simply learnt nothing form the Olympic experience, where the ticketing problems resulted in an official apology form the Government Minister in charge. Thankfully the games didn’t suffer the same fate.
The planning for the ticket allocation for the Ashes series seemed sensible. Set up a site for the keen supporters, calling them ‘The Cricket Family’. Send them emails telling them how special they are and how easy it will be to get tickets. Keep up the excitement with a countdown on days to go- and get ready to order. Give them a personal access code that is impossible to remember and difficult to decipher, and wait for the phones to ring and the website to open.
Thursday 1st June is ‘A’ day. I was ready with my laptop and back up multi- line phone at my side. First problem- not one access point for all tickets, but separate ones and even separate ticket agencies for each venue. So choose your priorities first.
I chose Sydney. I live here. It’s a smaller ground and tickets will be harder to get. Another choice to make- which day? Can’t book all days, have to re-register for each day. So dialling, typing, dialling, typing. All engaged. Internet site not accessible. Manage to access, then it crashes, and crashes again. Phone lines still constantly engaged. After an hour of continuous attempts I finally get through. All tickets sold out in Sydney!
Try Melbourne. Buy tickets for the first day- times out just as I’m putting in my credit card detail. Drat it. Try again…and again. Finally get tickets for the Second Day of the Melbourne test, then the third, and then the fourth. (First day sold out in 20 minutes).
Now I will get ready to try again when the general issue is made. Fracas gets media attention in spades. Officials explain they could not predict the huge demand. They couldn’t, but I, and every other cricket fan could! Incidentally, they sold out so quickly because you were able to purchase up to ten tickets each time. Now that’s a sure way to encourage scalpers- the very thing they were saying wouldn’t happen.
Anyway, back to general issue. With staggered availability dates for Sydney and Melbourne- this will overcome the problems, they said. Armed as before, no problems with the technique. Results exactly the same. Cannot access by Internet or phone. Sydney sold out in 15 minutes! Melbourne applications open two days later. Apply for first day- nup, sold out!
So I have four tickets for 2nd, 3rd and 4th days in Melbourne, but dammit it, I only want two! So the real point of this missive is to ask you if you want to publish this note in the next issue of Googlies and Chinamen, so see if any of the subscribers wish to purchase two tickets for 2/3/4 days of Melbourne test at the issue prices. They are all reserved tickets, mainly in the Great Southern stand, but the prices vary slightly. Day 2 is $42 per ticket. Day 3 is $52 per ticket. Day 4 is $70 per ticket. I will hold on to them for a few weeks to see if any SCD Old boys etc. are keen on coming out to Oz at Christmas.
Jeez, I hope they play better cricket than their officials can administer ticket allocation.
If anyone wants to take Dick up on his offer I can let you have his contact details
Match Reports
You get two for the price of one this time. The following games took place over the weekend of Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th June 1980.The first took place at Sidmouth Road between South Hampstead and Stanmore first elevens and the Sunday match was at Lonsdale Road between South Hampstead and Barnes first elevens.
Once League and Cup cricket commenced I played most of my cricket on a Sunday but would always fill in if the Saturday side were short or in need of a keeper. This must have been one such occasion and I played in both of these matches that are linked for a special reason.
The Stanmore match was a Lambert and Butler cup game of 45 overs per side and was played in perfect conditions. Steve Thompson, the Saturday captain, wasn’t playing and the scoresheet does not record who led the side. I suspect that it was Terry Cordaroy but it may have been Bob Cozens. South Hampstead batted first and Terry opened the batting with Mark Rigby against Stanmore’s new ball attack of Ross Chiese and Arthur Ferry. Progress was steady if unspectacular and when Ferry gave way after nine overs to Kirby the score was only 34. However, runs began to flow more freely and Terry reached his fifty in 65 minutes. The hundred partnership followed and then Rigby reached his fifty after ninety-eight minutes. The field settings became more defensive as the innings progressed and both batsmen scored a large number of singles. In due course Terry completed his hundred and the double century partnership was reached. When the forty-five overs were completed Cordaroy had reached 127 and Rigby was 92 not out. South Hampstead had scored 240 for 0. Jeremy Asquith and David Simpson had been padded up all afternoon but were not required.
Ellis and Mawson opened the Stanmore innings against Ossie Burton and Ross Bevins. With the score at 21 Bevins bowled Ellis and then David Simpson took over from Ossie and dismissed Mawson and Nickless to leave Stanmore on 86 for 3. Tyler was going well but when he had reached 55 he was caught by Simpson off Bob Cozens. Although Chiese and Nicholls both went cheaply to Lyric Carter Stanmore were still in the game as long as Webb stayed at the crease. However, in the pursuit of quick runs Kirby, Pauncefort and Summaria were all run out. When Arthur Ferry came to the crease Ossie had been recalled but it was Webb who was the last wicket to fall when Ossie bowled him for 76. Stanmore had scored a creditable 216 in 42.3 overs.
At Barnes on the Sunday I won the toss and South Hampstead batted first on a very dry wicket. Rigby hadn’t been selected for this match and I moved Cordaroy down the order to give some of our other batsmen the chance of a knock. Kit Fawcett opened the batting with Steve Thompson and when the latter was caught for 59 after seventy-six minutes the score was 90. Fawcett was caught for 42 at 115 and this brought Tim Miles in to join Ranji Kerai. Ranji was bowled for 26 and Miles was caught for 37. This brought Bob Cozens in to join Cordaroy who had joined the proceedings at the unaccustomed role as number five. Bob, as was his wont, clubbed a couple of sixes and I was able to declare after fifty overs at 222 for 4.
You never really knew what to expect with Barnes as they were a peripheral club to our usual opposition and they did have some fine players in Alastair Brittain and Richard Smethers. But on this occasion neither of them was playing. Rice and Carter opened the bowling for us and the opening batsmen, Lomas and Coombes, saw them off, albeit making slow progress. Rice gave way to Bob Cozens and Carter to John Mountjoy. After Bob made the breakthrough Mountjoy had a dramatic impact on the proceedings. He was a tall lad and a nephew of the professional snooker player, still at university, with big hands and bowled off spin. On this occasion the increasingly dusty surface gave him a lot of assistance and he turned it almost square. He took wickets in his second, third and fourth overs and the game was virtually over. Bob Cozens grabbed another couple of wickets but it was Mountjoy who was nearly unplayable and he soon finished off the innings. His final analysis was 7 for 14 in 12.1 overs whilst Cozens took 3 for 33. Barnes succumbed for 90 after being 49 for 0.
The thing that links these two games is the first wicket stands shared between the four South Hampstead batsmen who added 330 over the weekend before the first wicket fell.
For those of you wondering what my contribution to the two victories was, I cannot recall any specific personal feat but I can report that the scorecards say that I took a catch on the Saturday and a stumping on the Sunday and conceded no byes all weekend. So there.
Irritating trends in Modern Cricket – Number 38
There was a time when wicket keeping was a serious art, practised by specialists who performed the role with dignity and style. You only have to picture John Murray, Jimmy Binks and Bob Taylor in action. Surprisingly, this is not going to be another tirade against the lack of skill exhibited by the various Johnnies who now get the job because someone lent them a pair of gloves. What concerns us here is that the second requirement of being a wicket keeper today is that he is able to keep up a stream of non-stop verbal drivel whilst he is performing his tasks. (The first requirement is of course, that he can score more runs than the rest of the batters in the order above him.)
Having graduated from the moron finishing school the modern wicket keeper has first to learn all of the bowlers nick names and he is free to make some up, if there is not one in common use, by adding a y as suffix to their names. He then has to applaud and encourage the bowlers and fielders every ball with endlessly repetitive platitudes that would even embarrass a mediocre American motivational speaker.
He has to go to night classes to pick up the modern idioms that are simply euphemisms in disguise. For example if the bowler pitches on a good length, which after all is what he is supposed to do, our chirpy modern incumbent of the gloves has to bay out “Good areas”. When the bowler pitches an ordinary delivery that finds the middle of the bat he will cry out “Nice pressure”.
These pointless and tedious offerings are made all the more irritating to the unfortunate television viewer because of the presence of stump microphones. But this doesn’t excuse the practice. A classic example of this phenomenon of verbal pyrotechnics was displayed by the highly regarded Lancashire back up keeper, Gareth Cross, in the C&G victory over Warwickshire. The one advantage the development has is that if he misses the ball with his gloves there is a good chance that the ball will lodge in his ever-open mouth.
Strange Elevens
You may recall that in Editions 38 and 39 the Great Jack Morgan produced two sides of Shepherds Bush members who had all been at St. Clement Danes. Alvin Nienow detected the common Jazz Hat and promised to submit an alternate side that fitted the same cap. He has at last come up with his version, which looks as if it could drink anyone else under the table:
1. Jim Whyman-SCD pre-war-superb opening bat at Bush-in the Amelot best SCD XI-died at about 40 from cancer in 1960.
2. Jack Barrett-again pre-war – 1st XI opening bat and occasional leg spin, loved his gin
3. Paddy Malone-School Captain, left SCD ’49-occasional Bush 1st XI
4. Ray Bixley-50?-occasional Bush 1st XI
5. Den Pierce-56- womaniser, body builder and therefore hard hitter-mainly 1st XI
6. Jim Nethaway- 51-occasional 1st XI-cricket and regular choice for drinking XI
7. Ted Nethaway- 50?-elder brother to Jim, slow left arm and bat-mainly 1st XI
8. Andrew Richmond-60? 2nd or 3rd XI (father 3rd XI captain for many years)
9. Duncan Kerr- 54 Brilliant jazz piano, chess and maths-2nd XI
10. ‘Slosh’ Knubley-51? -Captain-brilliant leader of Bush 3rd XI late 1950’s-first choice for drinking XI
11. Dennis Austen-pre-war (wkt)-3rd XI only-President for many years and definitely captain of the drinking XI
12th man - Jackson-54? -2ndXI bat.
Alvin admits, “My side is very light on bowling but has plenty of characters and would have won most matches in the bar! Of Jack Morgan’s XI, I only had John Adams since his father skippered the Bush 3rd XI in my time there, probably after Slosh Knubley.”
I suppose that it is time to produce a Danes based side for South Hampstead. Can anyone oblige?
The Great Jack Morgan has come up with yet another side to qualify for a unique Jazz Hat. Can you work out which one it is?
Vic Wilson
Matt Prior
Brian Taylor (w/k)
Ken Suttle
Alex Loudon
Graeme Swann
Keith Medlycott
Martyn Ball
Ashley Cowan
Ricky Ellcock
Jason Brown
Football Matters You may recall that in last month’s edition Kelvin West made an appeal to find a new manager for his local park side. Andrew Baker was first off the blocks and he sent me a most impressive CV, which I was happy to forward to Kelvin. After a rigorous interview process Andrew was installed as the new manager and he is licking them into shape, so to speak.
Andrew Baker looking pretty pleased with himself about his new job
The training sessions have so far been held in camera but Kelvin crept into the training ground and snapped this photo of the team practising its new “wall” to defend free kicks.
Quiz answers
7. c; 8. a, b, c; 9. d; 10. d
Googlies Volume 2 now available
I have now published the second twenty editions of Googlies & Chinamen in hardback form. Both volumes are available from www.lulu.com or if you prefer from me at the contact details below.
Earlier Editions I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: tiksha@btinternet.com
