GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 102
June 2011
Caption Competition
Yorkshire’s home-grown policy, much approved of by Michael Atherton, is starting to show results – unfortunately, the results are defeats. So far in the Championship the record is: played 7 won 1…this way relegation lies.
Yorkshire have come a hair’s breadth this season to playing a full born-in-Yorkshire team. With Brophy injured the opportunity arose to go back twenty years to a fully virginal white rose team. The hair’s breadth however took the form of a strapping young lad called Gary Balance who, while a product of the Academy, was nevertheless born in Zimbabwe and also played a little for Derbyshire. There were, so I was told, very high hopes for him after some prodigious feats of left-handed biffing for the Academy side. He did not however “kick-on”, as they say, last season…so this is his chance. I have only seen him play once and he does hit the ball very hard but he was less eye-catching than the increasingly impressive Bairstow who I think might well play for England one day (although as a batsman rather than a somewhat untidy ‘keeper).
On the subject of impressiveness, you will be pleased to know that I have now had a personal tour of the new (iconic) pavilion at Headingley. This dramatic modern building/eyesore (delete as appropriate) is now fully functioning and I went round with my new chum (and Yorkshire’s official “Host”) Geoff Cope together with a chap called John Helm who is a football commentator. The building is bright and clean and new but it is very different to anyone’s idea of a cricket pavilion. That is because it is a joint venture with Leeds Met University and this seat of learning provided about 80% of the funding. There is a large number of small seminar rooms which double as hospitality suites on match days, a sizable central lecture theatre which becomes a media centre for international matches, and “quiet study areas” which are really landings with computers. It looks like a nice facility for a university but I’m not so sure about it as a cricket pavilion. It doesn’t, for example, have a “long room” or equivalent; there are no players’ balconies (simply dressing rooms with windows); and to get onto the pitch the players have to go out of the back of the stand, come back across the tarmac, and on to the field underneath the seats. The Press are not happy either (when are they?). For internationals the facilities are excellent but for county games they are squashed into a little room which has a temporary platform inside so that those at the back can see what is going on. The scorers have an even worse set-up. Their room is so small and set back that they can’t actually see the entire ground. They can see the middle and thus the umpires, which is always handy, but if the ball goes for 4 or is caught at the Kirkstall Lane end they will only see it if the batsman is obliging enough to hit it straight down the ground.
In short, we have a compromise, in which the University had the largest say and, sadly, it shows.
On our way round I fell into conversation with Mr Helm who is a very nice chap and seems to know everyone, especially in the Press department. We started talking, for reasons I can’t recall, about corruption in sport. “Which” John asked me - we are on (easily remembered) first name terms now - “is the most corrupt of all sports?”
Not an easy question to answer given that the possibilities are so numerous. What would you go for? Football – with the current competition to chose the least corrupt FIFA President? Baseball – some famous examples. Boxing – has it ever been anything else? And so on. I think I had three guesses and was nowhere near. I’m not sure what criteria one applies in judging “most-corruptness” but John’s answer was unequivocal…ice skating.
Ice Skating??
So it seems.
John told me of one world championship he covered where he asked the British couple where they thought they might finish in the following day’s final.
“Oh” they said, “we will finish fifth”.
“You seem very sure”.
“Well yes, its all been decided, even if we fall flat on the ice we will finish fifth”.
They then gave John the top six placings which turned out to be correct in every detail. You will know my next question… How much did William Hill pay up? But no, John told me that he made no personal use of this very accurate insider information…and these journalists are all very honourable people. I have, however, given him my ‘phone number should he have a similar conversation.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan assesses Middlesex’s progress
Surrey won the toss and chose to bowl in the Championship match at Lord's against Middx and it looked initially as if they had made the right decision as Yasir Arafat soon had the home top three back in the pavilion with only 28 on the board. We could not see from the Tavern box, but there must have been considerable early movement available to the Surrey pace bowlers. Dawid Malan helped skipper Neil Dexter to add 60 for the fourth wicket, but Middx were still in trouble as they lunched on 93 for 4 off 28 overs. However, Dexter had now been joined by keeper John Simpson and they combined in the decisive stand of the match, putting on 254 for the fifth wicket before the captain fell for 145 (one short of his career best) off 223 balls with 2 sixes and 17 fours. Simpson played better than most of us had ever seen him play before and he thoroughly earned a new personal best of 143 off 255 balls with one 6 and 21 fours. Ollie Rayner played well for 35 and helped Simpson add 65 for the sixth wicket, but the tail succumbed to the off-spin of Gareth Batty, who finished with very creditable figures of 5 for 76 from his 27.3 overs and the hosts were all out for 445.
Surrey's reply, however, began disastrously as Steve Finn and Corey Collymore took two quick wickets each to leave the visitors on 19 for 4. Captain Rory Hamilton-Brown hit a quick 47 off 58 balls and staged a partial recovery in a stand of 70 with Tom Maynard, who went on to an excellent 98* with 2 sixes and 10 fours, but there was little support from anyone else and the innings subsided to a disappointing 203 all out. Ollie Rayner finished off the innings and ended as the most successful bowler with 3 for 31 from 12.3 overs of off-spin. Credit must also go to the keeper and slip fielders who accounted for nine of the dismissals. Following on, Surrey again started disastrously with two wickets going down (both to Finny) with one run on the board. Gary Wilson helped to add 62 for the third wicket with keeper Steve Davies, but that was the biggest stand of the innings as Davies stood alone against the rampant Middlesex attack. Davies went on to 94 with 12 fours and a six, but no one could stay with him for long and Surrey closed on 200 to lose by an overwhelming margin of an innings and 42 runs. Toby Roland-Jones was the most successful bowler in the second innings with 4 for 38 (and the most successful in the match with 6 for 87). Both Dexter and Rayner had long spells in a successful effort to keep the over rate at or above acceptable levels and the skipper picked up 3 wickets for 46 in the innings. It was a mystery why debutant Steve Crook bowled only four overs in the match (taking the wicket of Hamilton-Brown) and why he did not bowl at all in the second innings, despite being on the pitch for the whole of the innings. It will be difficult to assess his worth (a review was due to be conducted at the end of April according to pre-season announcements) if he is given no opportunity to demonstrate his talents.
The scoreboarding in this match was absolutely dire, especially on day two. It had been very poor for the Essex game, but one assumed that a new computer or new software or a new operator had not yet bedded in properly, but in this game huge crimes were committed like failure to display bowling figures after either of the two innings that finished on day two. Many of us like to keep our scorecards up to date and displaying the scorecard at the end of an innings ad nauseam is useless to us because we already have that information, what we need most are the crucial bowling figures, which (of course) are not available until the end of the innings. The second priority is the details of the extras. Instead we get useless information telling us what match we are watching (thanks for that), welcoming us to the home of cricket, encouraging us to buy tickets for Tests, attend wedding celebrations, visit the Tavern, the Lord's shop etc, but no bowling figures. If the computer is on the blink, then surely the announcer should give us the figures over the public address system. Periodically, I have written in about this in the past, but one gets tired of having to keep making the same points. It has to be said that there was an improvement on day three, so I assume people had found someone to listen to their complaints. Middlesex 24 points, Surrey 3.
That looked like a dire performance against Kent in the Clydesdale, with only Newman (49) and Collymore (7-1-18-0) exempt from criticism. This was a particularly ignominious defeat because the Kent bowling has been completely decimated, presumably by injury: for this one they had to call up 19 year old Adam Riley (who has at least taken a few wickets in the 2s) and 20 year old Ashley Shaw, whose complete record in the 2nd XI Championship reads 7-0-36-0! TSRJ, CJLR, Simmo, Finny and Crooky didn't play, while Bergy played, but didn't bowl: is this squad rotation or "we don't give a stuff"? Josh Davey hit 91 and took 3 catches for Scotland against Warwickshire, but didn't bowl again (injured?): his batting average in the Clydesdale is 42.5 and would put him second to Newman in the Middlesex averages, his bowling average of 18.25 would put him top of the Middlesex averages and his four catches would also top the Middlesex list.
Middlesex never looked like losing at Bristol, but it was a bit disappointing that they never really looked like winning either. I feel we should have done better with the ball as I do not regard Gloucestershire as being a strong batting side. Chris Taylor has been a thorn in our side plenty of times before, so it was no surprise that he should get runs in both innings, but Will Gidman was a bit of a shock. Dan had a better match, Ollie is doing well with the bat and in the field (10 fc catches), but nothing with the ball, while Simmo has 28 fc victims. Some of the stats are quite impressive: Malan averages 49, Dexy 47, Ollie 46, Simmo 43 and Bergy 40, while with the ball Bergy averages 17, Finny and TSR-J 19, Murts 23 and Corey 26... no wonder we lead the league by 12 points!
I went to Uxbridge for the three days of net practice that was the Middlesex v Sri Lanka match. Day one featured five and a half hours of non-stop amplified chanting by Tamil demonstrators protesting about the massacre of their brethren in the recent civil war; this protest was fully justified in my view, but it certainly was irritating. Middlesex selected a team containing only three first team regulars, none of whom were bowlers and several big names were also missing from the Sri Lanka line up. In fact, total confusion surrounded the identity of the players in the Sri Lankan team: who was playing, who was bowling, who was keeping etc and one change to the scorecard had still not been announced when the players went off for tea on day two!
Andrew Strauss returned to the Middlesex side and played his best innings for the county for some years with a fluent 151 off 223 balls and the day was dominated by his stand of 214 with Dan Housego (104 from 172 balls), but no other batsman managed more than 26 and skipper Dawid Malan declared early on day 2 at 360 for 8 off 100 overs. Visiting openers Tharanga Paranavitana (103 retired off 146 balls) and Tillakaratne Dilshan (123 retired off 134 balls) certainly found the excellent track and the second team bowling to their liking in a stand of 209 for the first wicket and Dinesh Chandimal added a quick 42* off 49 balls before Dilshan declared at 309 for 2 off 69 overs. It looked as if a result could only be achieved through a third declaration, but Middlesex made this unnecessary by collapsing feebly for 161 in 48.5 overs, the main damage being done by the splendidly initialled opening bowler UWMBCA Welegedara (3 for 39) and “mystery” spinner Ajantha Mendis (3 for 28), neither of whom had impressed in the first innings. This left the Sri Lankans 213 to get in 49 overs and they accomplished this in some comfort with Thilan Samaraweera leading the way with 49 off 63 balls, but they did lose six wickets in the process. No Middlesex bowler had taken a wicket in the first innings and the first wicket to fall in the second innings was a run out, but by the end Tom Smith (2 for 45), Jamie Dalrymple (2 for 58) and Tony Ireland (1 for 57) all had an entry in the wickets column.
It looked like sheer folly when Middlesex chose to bat on a bright green seamers' paradise in the Championship match against Glamorgan at Lord's and that was how it proved to be as the all left-handed Middlesex top four were all back in the hutch in an hour with only 33 on the board. Batting first on green tracks rightly led to the downfall of Shaun Udal last year after four defeats in the first four games, but there seems to have been little point in replacing him as the same criminal mistakes are being made. Many of us were shocked to see Dalrymple listed at no 6 for Middlesex because i) we were told that he would not be considered until June 3rd (still over a fortnight away); and ii) he had shown no form with the bat and should surely have been batting below Simpson (averaging 43) and Berg (averaging 40). However, Jamie's innings of 44 was the gutsiest of the first innings and his stand of 72 with captain Dexter was the only partnership of any substance in the whole innings. The wicket appeared to ease slightly after lunch, but if it did, Middlesex failed to take advantage as the last five wickets went down for a dismal 45 and the total was a pathetic 150. England Lions seamer Jimmy Harris found the conditions absolutely ideal (as would the Middlesex seamers, of course) and he ripped out five of the top seven for only 41 and he had useful support from Graham Wagg (2 for 30) and Will Owen (2 for 32). However, the Middlesex pace bowlers could find no such assistance, the weak spin department could not assist either and so Glamorgan were largely untroubled in building up a huge score of 522. Gareth Rees's 75 was a dogged effort, but better strokeplay came from Will Bragg (87), Harris (41) and especially from Ben Wright (101 from 128 balls), Wagg (63 from 79 balls) and Mark Wallace (46 from 56 balls). Middlesex did better in their second innings, but it was still an uneven effort. Andrew Strauss (103 off 152 balls) was just as impressive as he had been at Uxbridge and this time he shared a stand of 173 for the second wicket with Chris Rogers (125) who was playing his best innings for the club. Dalrymple helped Rogers add 60 for the fifth wicket, Toby Roland-Jones helped John Simpson put on 59 for the seventh wicket and Simpson (batting at 8) impressively steered Middx to a total of 398 all out with 68*. It was nowhere near enough, of course, and Glamorgan won with ease by nine wickets. Glamorgan 24 points Middx 1.
Rabbits in the Headlights Matters
At the beginning of May at Edgbaston Lancashire scored 227 and took a first innings lead of 55. But in the second innings they were bowled out for 189 leaving the home side just 245 to win. Warwickshire made a steady start and went to lunch on the third day at 68 for 2. Soon after Simon Kerrigan joined the attack His third delivery turned to remove Varun Chopra (25) and, when Mohammad Yousuf recklessly came down the pitch, a simple stumping for Cross sparked off one of the most rapid collapses seen on the ground.
From the 22nd over to the 31st, Warwickshire lost seven wickets for 11 in 53 balls. Kerrigan returned the astonishing figures of 7-1-7-5, while fellow left-arm spinner Keedy claimed his three scalps in 26 balls. Lancashire won before tea by 147 runs.
Jukes Matters
I have been trying to provoke recollections of David Jukes since this newsletter began. Last month’s quote from Bill Hart did the trick and Steve Wright sent me this
Some time ago I promised you an article on "cheating " in sport. I'm afraid that each time I put pen to paper I thought of something different to say and so I haven't got around to writing it. However I have to respond to the slur on the good name of my old friend David Jukes in the last issue. Everybody who reads Googlies is now painfully aware of what a bunch of anoraks the players were who represented South Hampstead in the 1960's and 1970's. I imagine your idea of an exciting evening would be to congregate in the old tennis pavilion in the middle of winter oohing and aahing over the 1968 scorebook. "Just look at those overs you bowled against Ealing, Don"." Not as good as your opening spell against Hornsey in 1886 Bill,-----let's get the 1967 scorebook out and spend two or three hours going through that congratulating ourselves on how good we were back in the days when we had hair". There was nothing like this at the Bush. We were lucky to find the scorebook from one week to the next during the season, never mind during the millennium after it had finished.
Turning to David Jukes. I assume that the comment about his courage under fire was reported by another club because I cannot recall anybody at South Hampstead being quick enough to trouble a pair of white cricketing flannels. And, you know, courage although helpful is not the be all and end all of batting. I remember a match we played (I think in 1969,-Jack correct me if I am wrong please). It was on a very hot Sunday at Winchmore Hill. As well as the usual suspects we also had Ron Reed and a West Indian called Mike Josephs playing. The only problem with Ron,( if you leave out the 20 pints he used to drink on Saturday night) was that on a fast bouncy wicket he would pull his length back a bit and aim at the batsman's throat. It didn't really make much difference what anybody said to him because he did like to get "full value" from a quick track". Mike Josephs was also distinctly lively. He only played for us for about a season and he lived round the corner from the club. His time keeping was not great and I made a point of collecting him on my way to the club. This usually involved 2 journeys,---one to collect him and the second to pick up the gear that he had distributed on the pavement as he came running out of his house.
Winchmore Hill batted first and Lionel Rogers opened the batting. From the word go he beat a very judicious retreat towards square leg. Most of the shots he played on the offside were from outside the leg stump. The ball flew everywhere. Through the slips, over the slips and there was the occasional good shot. Ron was furious. He bowled faster and faster and Lionel retreated further and further. The outcome was that Rogers got a ton. I shouldn't think it would feature too prominently in his autobiography but as they say "it's not how, it's how many" The point of all this is that courage is only part of batting.
Now, to Jukes. His scores would generally read, 0, 0, 0, 80, 0, 0, 80. It rather resembled a freephone number. But I'll tell you what, when he went out to bat everybody came out the bar ( including Jukes of course). That's more than you can say about Terry Cordaroy. Jukes had that god given gift which few sportsmen have, that of timing. When he had a good day, he really had a good day. In the years I played at the Bush the only time that we ever beat Ealing was in the final (I think it was the final,---Jack correct me etc etc-----) of a twenty over evening knock out competition. Jukes had a good day or evening if you want to be picky about it. We batted first and scored absolutely millions. This was one game when Ealing didn't have a chance of winning before they had even batted. If you played for the Bush you tended to remember matches like that.
Although I would admit and I am sure David would as well that if you were looking for volunteers to lead the Charge of the Light Brigade he would not be first in line at the recruitment office he was great fun to be with, particularly on tour. I only went on one tour with David and that was the MCC Tour to the Channel Islands. I remember very little of this tour which passed by in a haze of alcohol. I do remember two incidents particularly well because they were so funny. Late one evening he came into the bar of the hotel where we were staying soaking wet with a water lily between his teeth. He had fallen into the ornamental pond outside the hotel! On the flight coming home, which was fairly full he had somehow persuaded one of the air hostesses to lend him her uniform (he was rather good at detaching ladies from their clothing) and he had also requisitioned a steering wheel from somewhere (I never did work that out). He walked or it would be more accurate to say lurched down the aisle dressed in the air hostesses's uniform, holding the steering wheel and asking everybody if they had any idea where it had fallen off from because he had just found it in the cabin.
Jim, you could devote at least one edition of Googlies to David Jukes. He was a joy to play cricket with and to be with at any time and the most extraordinary character in London Club Cricket during the 60's and 70's. The South Hampstead score book does not reflect the contribution that he made to the game of cricket or to the lives of the people he played it with.
Oval Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports from the Kia not the Brit
Jim and Arthur went to the Oval on Friday (when I was on my way back from Noss Mayo) and saw Surrey make 322 against Northants: RJHB was the star with 74 off 111 balls while there were other entertaining knocks from Gary Wilson 29 off 28, Zander de Bruyn 35 off 52 and Tom Maynard 32 off 37. Gareth Batty would also appear to have batted usefully for 64, but Jim did not give him a mention. The best of the bowlers were Lee Daggett (3 for 63) and James Middlebrook (3 for 78). I went on the Saturday, Rob White (who always impresses me) was easily the classiest of the Northants batters and made an excellent 78 as the other batsmen looked at sea against Tim Linley (4 for 53) who reduced the visitors to 163 for 7. It was not surprising that skipper Andrew Hall and off-spinner Middlebrook, batting at 9, did not want to throw their wickets away under these circumstances and they made sure that they had stabilised the innings before improving the scoring rate. These tactics were both justified and successful as the pair put on 179 for the eighth wicket, more than doubling the score, before Hall fell for 73, but Middlebrook went on to 103 as Northants ended on 376. Batty bowled well to take 3 for 66 off 35 overs, while Stuart Meaker also picked up 3 for 100. The lead of 54 would have been useful if Northants could have made inroads into the Surrey batting, but Wilson, Michael Brown, RJHB and Maynard (all with 40s) and De Bruyn (91*) made sure it did not happen despite Daggett's 3 for 69, while Chris Schofield's quick 37* off 23 balls at the end allowed Rory to set the visitors an interesting target of 291 to win in 60-odd overs. Mal Loye made 52, Alex Wakely 43 and Meaker took 3 for 46, but only White, with 38 off 42 balls, had looked like making the decisive contribution and well before the end, the draw had become inevitable. April 9th was my joint (with 2010) earliest ever start to a season.
Revier Matters
Jim Revier sent me the following
I arranged to meet the great man at the Oval yesterday and was astonished on my arrival at Lambeth station to be greeted by rain (none having been forecast by the Beeb). On proceeding into the ground I saw the great man under the umbrella, in shorts, on the Gasometer side. He observed immediately that I didn't have an umbrella and informed me that this wouldn't be a problem as he carried THREE in his bag. He duly offered me the one that he had found left behind by another spectator on a previous Oval visit. Unfortunately during the afternoon session whilst taking food GJM dropped a grape into the cavernous bag. This caused a mighty upturning of the bag during which it was discovered there was no third umbrella, and puzzlement as to what had become of it. He eventually found the grape though.
Red Mist Matters
Some readers will recall that Graham Napier burst into the headlines a couple of years back with a televised 152 in a televised Twenty20 match. In this innings he set a new world record of sixteen sixes in a 20/20 innings. Since then he got an IPL contract but made little impression and has not played for eleven months with a stress fracture of the back. That is until he turned out for Essex against Surrey at Whitgift School ground.
On the first day Rory Hamilton Brown won the toss and, like Banger, elected to field. At the close Napier was 25 not out. On the second morning he played himself in for three overs but then hooked Tremlett out of the ground. When Linley came on Napier was on 83; he scored a further 113 from 33 balls. He was finally dismissed for 196 having scored 171 from the 78 balls he had faced on the day, including 125 in the morning session. He scored 176 in boundaries including nineteen fours and sixteen sixes. The sixteen sixes in an innings equalled Andrew Symonds record for the most hit in a first class innings.
Bruton Matters
Allen Bruton sent me the following
Italy’s Mario draghi set to head ECB
You can imagine my despair at sighting the above Daily Telegraph headline. Bad enough having Fabio sabotage our national football team and now it seemed the cricket authorities were about to follow suit. If we have to suffer another bungling Italian let it be Silvio Berlusconi which would at least provide entertainment, not to mention the recruitment potential for Andrew Baker’s Ladies Football Team.
Panic over, it transpired that the subject of the article was the European Central Bank. Thus we can relax in the knowledge that cricket is relatively safe and it is only the economy about to be screwed up.
Seaxe Matters
Geoff Norris, the Middlesex President, wrote the following for the Seaxe Newsletter
In the seventies, the members gave much support at away matches. Every other Sunday at least one coach was booked and for mid-week cup matches, usually two. Ken Graham was the main organiser and the players were always appreciative of the vocal support they received. The away match I remember the most was the semi-final Derbyshire v Middlesex at Chesterfield in 1975. With the tremendous support, Middlesex won and I gave Norman Featherstone a lift home in my car. He was man of the match and spent the whole journey trying to persuade me to buy his gold medal for £75. I told him it was a memento for life, but I bet before the season was out, it was no longer in his possession.
Rangers Matters
I sent the following to the Great Jack Morgan
I don’t pretend to understand what they did wrong but strangely the FA seem to have got the result right. It would have been ridiculous if they had missed promotion or had to play in the shoot out play offs. However, that is the beginning of agony. Even though there is planned stability at Manager level it is hard to see that they will not get beaten all round the country next season and lose a load of home matches as well. Blackpool have proved that flamboyancy will get you nowhere. The reason people like them is there are always loads of goals in their games. The problem is that they concede more than they score. If the Rangers go the dour defensive route they will have to find some better strikers who will score a high proportion of the few chances that will be created. I watched one of their last games when they ended up with four centre forwards on the pitch none of whom seemed likely to score. Smith looked the best but he is probably not up to Premiership standards. Two of the stars, Routledge and Taarbalt, have already failed at that level. Still the object is to play at the top level and we have got there for the fourth time in our lifetimes and who knows I may be proved wrong. My concern is that if the money bags put their hands in their pockets it may be too late. It takes a fair bit of time to get a side to settle down and the premiership oppositions are an unforgiving bunch.
Football Matters
Andrew Baker had to take out a super injunction to keep secret the location of the training ground for his Ladies team. However, when it was leaked on Twitter chaos ensued and Ken Molloy was on hand to photograph the consequences.
Meanwhile in the training ground itself Andrew tries to use every minute to good advantage and he even had Kelvin West, his defense coach, getting the ladies to practice their “wall” formation in the car park.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 102
June 2011
Caption Competition
- Australian: Stop! I asked you to help get it out. That’s how it got in in the first place.
- Indian: Don’t ever let me ever hear you say that Bradman was greater than Tendulkar.
- Ian Chappell: Harder, harder. This Aussie side was a disgrace in the Ashes. Harder!
- David Cameron: Gosh, its just like Eton.
- Max Moseley: What’s that guy’s name? Can he do next Thursday afternoon?
Yorkshire’s home-grown policy, much approved of by Michael Atherton, is starting to show results – unfortunately, the results are defeats. So far in the Championship the record is: played 7 won 1…this way relegation lies.
Yorkshire have come a hair’s breadth this season to playing a full born-in-Yorkshire team. With Brophy injured the opportunity arose to go back twenty years to a fully virginal white rose team. The hair’s breadth however took the form of a strapping young lad called Gary Balance who, while a product of the Academy, was nevertheless born in Zimbabwe and also played a little for Derbyshire. There were, so I was told, very high hopes for him after some prodigious feats of left-handed biffing for the Academy side. He did not however “kick-on”, as they say, last season…so this is his chance. I have only seen him play once and he does hit the ball very hard but he was less eye-catching than the increasingly impressive Bairstow who I think might well play for England one day (although as a batsman rather than a somewhat untidy ‘keeper).
On the subject of impressiveness, you will be pleased to know that I have now had a personal tour of the new (iconic) pavilion at Headingley. This dramatic modern building/eyesore (delete as appropriate) is now fully functioning and I went round with my new chum (and Yorkshire’s official “Host”) Geoff Cope together with a chap called John Helm who is a football commentator. The building is bright and clean and new but it is very different to anyone’s idea of a cricket pavilion. That is because it is a joint venture with Leeds Met University and this seat of learning provided about 80% of the funding. There is a large number of small seminar rooms which double as hospitality suites on match days, a sizable central lecture theatre which becomes a media centre for international matches, and “quiet study areas” which are really landings with computers. It looks like a nice facility for a university but I’m not so sure about it as a cricket pavilion. It doesn’t, for example, have a “long room” or equivalent; there are no players’ balconies (simply dressing rooms with windows); and to get onto the pitch the players have to go out of the back of the stand, come back across the tarmac, and on to the field underneath the seats. The Press are not happy either (when are they?). For internationals the facilities are excellent but for county games they are squashed into a little room which has a temporary platform inside so that those at the back can see what is going on. The scorers have an even worse set-up. Their room is so small and set back that they can’t actually see the entire ground. They can see the middle and thus the umpires, which is always handy, but if the ball goes for 4 or is caught at the Kirkstall Lane end they will only see it if the batsman is obliging enough to hit it straight down the ground.
In short, we have a compromise, in which the University had the largest say and, sadly, it shows.
On our way round I fell into conversation with Mr Helm who is a very nice chap and seems to know everyone, especially in the Press department. We started talking, for reasons I can’t recall, about corruption in sport. “Which” John asked me - we are on (easily remembered) first name terms now - “is the most corrupt of all sports?”
Not an easy question to answer given that the possibilities are so numerous. What would you go for? Football – with the current competition to chose the least corrupt FIFA President? Baseball – some famous examples. Boxing – has it ever been anything else? And so on. I think I had three guesses and was nowhere near. I’m not sure what criteria one applies in judging “most-corruptness” but John’s answer was unequivocal…ice skating.
Ice Skating??
So it seems.
John told me of one world championship he covered where he asked the British couple where they thought they might finish in the following day’s final.
“Oh” they said, “we will finish fifth”.
“You seem very sure”.
“Well yes, its all been decided, even if we fall flat on the ice we will finish fifth”.
They then gave John the top six placings which turned out to be correct in every detail. You will know my next question… How much did William Hill pay up? But no, John told me that he made no personal use of this very accurate insider information…and these journalists are all very honourable people. I have, however, given him my ‘phone number should he have a similar conversation.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan assesses Middlesex’s progress
Surrey won the toss and chose to bowl in the Championship match at Lord's against Middx and it looked initially as if they had made the right decision as Yasir Arafat soon had the home top three back in the pavilion with only 28 on the board. We could not see from the Tavern box, but there must have been considerable early movement available to the Surrey pace bowlers. Dawid Malan helped skipper Neil Dexter to add 60 for the fourth wicket, but Middx were still in trouble as they lunched on 93 for 4 off 28 overs. However, Dexter had now been joined by keeper John Simpson and they combined in the decisive stand of the match, putting on 254 for the fifth wicket before the captain fell for 145 (one short of his career best) off 223 balls with 2 sixes and 17 fours. Simpson played better than most of us had ever seen him play before and he thoroughly earned a new personal best of 143 off 255 balls with one 6 and 21 fours. Ollie Rayner played well for 35 and helped Simpson add 65 for the sixth wicket, but the tail succumbed to the off-spin of Gareth Batty, who finished with very creditable figures of 5 for 76 from his 27.3 overs and the hosts were all out for 445.
Surrey's reply, however, began disastrously as Steve Finn and Corey Collymore took two quick wickets each to leave the visitors on 19 for 4. Captain Rory Hamilton-Brown hit a quick 47 off 58 balls and staged a partial recovery in a stand of 70 with Tom Maynard, who went on to an excellent 98* with 2 sixes and 10 fours, but there was little support from anyone else and the innings subsided to a disappointing 203 all out. Ollie Rayner finished off the innings and ended as the most successful bowler with 3 for 31 from 12.3 overs of off-spin. Credit must also go to the keeper and slip fielders who accounted for nine of the dismissals. Following on, Surrey again started disastrously with two wickets going down (both to Finny) with one run on the board. Gary Wilson helped to add 62 for the third wicket with keeper Steve Davies, but that was the biggest stand of the innings as Davies stood alone against the rampant Middlesex attack. Davies went on to 94 with 12 fours and a six, but no one could stay with him for long and Surrey closed on 200 to lose by an overwhelming margin of an innings and 42 runs. Toby Roland-Jones was the most successful bowler in the second innings with 4 for 38 (and the most successful in the match with 6 for 87). Both Dexter and Rayner had long spells in a successful effort to keep the over rate at or above acceptable levels and the skipper picked up 3 wickets for 46 in the innings. It was a mystery why debutant Steve Crook bowled only four overs in the match (taking the wicket of Hamilton-Brown) and why he did not bowl at all in the second innings, despite being on the pitch for the whole of the innings. It will be difficult to assess his worth (a review was due to be conducted at the end of April according to pre-season announcements) if he is given no opportunity to demonstrate his talents.
The scoreboarding in this match was absolutely dire, especially on day two. It had been very poor for the Essex game, but one assumed that a new computer or new software or a new operator had not yet bedded in properly, but in this game huge crimes were committed like failure to display bowling figures after either of the two innings that finished on day two. Many of us like to keep our scorecards up to date and displaying the scorecard at the end of an innings ad nauseam is useless to us because we already have that information, what we need most are the crucial bowling figures, which (of course) are not available until the end of the innings. The second priority is the details of the extras. Instead we get useless information telling us what match we are watching (thanks for that), welcoming us to the home of cricket, encouraging us to buy tickets for Tests, attend wedding celebrations, visit the Tavern, the Lord's shop etc, but no bowling figures. If the computer is on the blink, then surely the announcer should give us the figures over the public address system. Periodically, I have written in about this in the past, but one gets tired of having to keep making the same points. It has to be said that there was an improvement on day three, so I assume people had found someone to listen to their complaints. Middlesex 24 points, Surrey 3.
That looked like a dire performance against Kent in the Clydesdale, with only Newman (49) and Collymore (7-1-18-0) exempt from criticism. This was a particularly ignominious defeat because the Kent bowling has been completely decimated, presumably by injury: for this one they had to call up 19 year old Adam Riley (who has at least taken a few wickets in the 2s) and 20 year old Ashley Shaw, whose complete record in the 2nd XI Championship reads 7-0-36-0! TSRJ, CJLR, Simmo, Finny and Crooky didn't play, while Bergy played, but didn't bowl: is this squad rotation or "we don't give a stuff"? Josh Davey hit 91 and took 3 catches for Scotland against Warwickshire, but didn't bowl again (injured?): his batting average in the Clydesdale is 42.5 and would put him second to Newman in the Middlesex averages, his bowling average of 18.25 would put him top of the Middlesex averages and his four catches would also top the Middlesex list.
Middlesex never looked like losing at Bristol, but it was a bit disappointing that they never really looked like winning either. I feel we should have done better with the ball as I do not regard Gloucestershire as being a strong batting side. Chris Taylor has been a thorn in our side plenty of times before, so it was no surprise that he should get runs in both innings, but Will Gidman was a bit of a shock. Dan had a better match, Ollie is doing well with the bat and in the field (10 fc catches), but nothing with the ball, while Simmo has 28 fc victims. Some of the stats are quite impressive: Malan averages 49, Dexy 47, Ollie 46, Simmo 43 and Bergy 40, while with the ball Bergy averages 17, Finny and TSR-J 19, Murts 23 and Corey 26... no wonder we lead the league by 12 points!
I went to Uxbridge for the three days of net practice that was the Middlesex v Sri Lanka match. Day one featured five and a half hours of non-stop amplified chanting by Tamil demonstrators protesting about the massacre of their brethren in the recent civil war; this protest was fully justified in my view, but it certainly was irritating. Middlesex selected a team containing only three first team regulars, none of whom were bowlers and several big names were also missing from the Sri Lanka line up. In fact, total confusion surrounded the identity of the players in the Sri Lankan team: who was playing, who was bowling, who was keeping etc and one change to the scorecard had still not been announced when the players went off for tea on day two!
Andrew Strauss returned to the Middlesex side and played his best innings for the county for some years with a fluent 151 off 223 balls and the day was dominated by his stand of 214 with Dan Housego (104 from 172 balls), but no other batsman managed more than 26 and skipper Dawid Malan declared early on day 2 at 360 for 8 off 100 overs. Visiting openers Tharanga Paranavitana (103 retired off 146 balls) and Tillakaratne Dilshan (123 retired off 134 balls) certainly found the excellent track and the second team bowling to their liking in a stand of 209 for the first wicket and Dinesh Chandimal added a quick 42* off 49 balls before Dilshan declared at 309 for 2 off 69 overs. It looked as if a result could only be achieved through a third declaration, but Middlesex made this unnecessary by collapsing feebly for 161 in 48.5 overs, the main damage being done by the splendidly initialled opening bowler UWMBCA Welegedara (3 for 39) and “mystery” spinner Ajantha Mendis (3 for 28), neither of whom had impressed in the first innings. This left the Sri Lankans 213 to get in 49 overs and they accomplished this in some comfort with Thilan Samaraweera leading the way with 49 off 63 balls, but they did lose six wickets in the process. No Middlesex bowler had taken a wicket in the first innings and the first wicket to fall in the second innings was a run out, but by the end Tom Smith (2 for 45), Jamie Dalrymple (2 for 58) and Tony Ireland (1 for 57) all had an entry in the wickets column.
It looked like sheer folly when Middlesex chose to bat on a bright green seamers' paradise in the Championship match against Glamorgan at Lord's and that was how it proved to be as the all left-handed Middlesex top four were all back in the hutch in an hour with only 33 on the board. Batting first on green tracks rightly led to the downfall of Shaun Udal last year after four defeats in the first four games, but there seems to have been little point in replacing him as the same criminal mistakes are being made. Many of us were shocked to see Dalrymple listed at no 6 for Middlesex because i) we were told that he would not be considered until June 3rd (still over a fortnight away); and ii) he had shown no form with the bat and should surely have been batting below Simpson (averaging 43) and Berg (averaging 40). However, Jamie's innings of 44 was the gutsiest of the first innings and his stand of 72 with captain Dexter was the only partnership of any substance in the whole innings. The wicket appeared to ease slightly after lunch, but if it did, Middlesex failed to take advantage as the last five wickets went down for a dismal 45 and the total was a pathetic 150. England Lions seamer Jimmy Harris found the conditions absolutely ideal (as would the Middlesex seamers, of course) and he ripped out five of the top seven for only 41 and he had useful support from Graham Wagg (2 for 30) and Will Owen (2 for 32). However, the Middlesex pace bowlers could find no such assistance, the weak spin department could not assist either and so Glamorgan were largely untroubled in building up a huge score of 522. Gareth Rees's 75 was a dogged effort, but better strokeplay came from Will Bragg (87), Harris (41) and especially from Ben Wright (101 from 128 balls), Wagg (63 from 79 balls) and Mark Wallace (46 from 56 balls). Middlesex did better in their second innings, but it was still an uneven effort. Andrew Strauss (103 off 152 balls) was just as impressive as he had been at Uxbridge and this time he shared a stand of 173 for the second wicket with Chris Rogers (125) who was playing his best innings for the club. Dalrymple helped Rogers add 60 for the fifth wicket, Toby Roland-Jones helped John Simpson put on 59 for the seventh wicket and Simpson (batting at 8) impressively steered Middx to a total of 398 all out with 68*. It was nowhere near enough, of course, and Glamorgan won with ease by nine wickets. Glamorgan 24 points Middx 1.
Rabbits in the Headlights Matters
At the beginning of May at Edgbaston Lancashire scored 227 and took a first innings lead of 55. But in the second innings they were bowled out for 189 leaving the home side just 245 to win. Warwickshire made a steady start and went to lunch on the third day at 68 for 2. Soon after Simon Kerrigan joined the attack His third delivery turned to remove Varun Chopra (25) and, when Mohammad Yousuf recklessly came down the pitch, a simple stumping for Cross sparked off one of the most rapid collapses seen on the ground.
From the 22nd over to the 31st, Warwickshire lost seven wickets for 11 in 53 balls. Kerrigan returned the astonishing figures of 7-1-7-5, while fellow left-arm spinner Keedy claimed his three scalps in 26 balls. Lancashire won before tea by 147 runs.
Jukes Matters
I have been trying to provoke recollections of David Jukes since this newsletter began. Last month’s quote from Bill Hart did the trick and Steve Wright sent me this
Some time ago I promised you an article on "cheating " in sport. I'm afraid that each time I put pen to paper I thought of something different to say and so I haven't got around to writing it. However I have to respond to the slur on the good name of my old friend David Jukes in the last issue. Everybody who reads Googlies is now painfully aware of what a bunch of anoraks the players were who represented South Hampstead in the 1960's and 1970's. I imagine your idea of an exciting evening would be to congregate in the old tennis pavilion in the middle of winter oohing and aahing over the 1968 scorebook. "Just look at those overs you bowled against Ealing, Don"." Not as good as your opening spell against Hornsey in 1886 Bill,-----let's get the 1967 scorebook out and spend two or three hours going through that congratulating ourselves on how good we were back in the days when we had hair". There was nothing like this at the Bush. We were lucky to find the scorebook from one week to the next during the season, never mind during the millennium after it had finished.
Turning to David Jukes. I assume that the comment about his courage under fire was reported by another club because I cannot recall anybody at South Hampstead being quick enough to trouble a pair of white cricketing flannels. And, you know, courage although helpful is not the be all and end all of batting. I remember a match we played (I think in 1969,-Jack correct me if I am wrong please). It was on a very hot Sunday at Winchmore Hill. As well as the usual suspects we also had Ron Reed and a West Indian called Mike Josephs playing. The only problem with Ron,( if you leave out the 20 pints he used to drink on Saturday night) was that on a fast bouncy wicket he would pull his length back a bit and aim at the batsman's throat. It didn't really make much difference what anybody said to him because he did like to get "full value" from a quick track". Mike Josephs was also distinctly lively. He only played for us for about a season and he lived round the corner from the club. His time keeping was not great and I made a point of collecting him on my way to the club. This usually involved 2 journeys,---one to collect him and the second to pick up the gear that he had distributed on the pavement as he came running out of his house.
Winchmore Hill batted first and Lionel Rogers opened the batting. From the word go he beat a very judicious retreat towards square leg. Most of the shots he played on the offside were from outside the leg stump. The ball flew everywhere. Through the slips, over the slips and there was the occasional good shot. Ron was furious. He bowled faster and faster and Lionel retreated further and further. The outcome was that Rogers got a ton. I shouldn't think it would feature too prominently in his autobiography but as they say "it's not how, it's how many" The point of all this is that courage is only part of batting.
Now, to Jukes. His scores would generally read, 0, 0, 0, 80, 0, 0, 80. It rather resembled a freephone number. But I'll tell you what, when he went out to bat everybody came out the bar ( including Jukes of course). That's more than you can say about Terry Cordaroy. Jukes had that god given gift which few sportsmen have, that of timing. When he had a good day, he really had a good day. In the years I played at the Bush the only time that we ever beat Ealing was in the final (I think it was the final,---Jack correct me etc etc-----) of a twenty over evening knock out competition. Jukes had a good day or evening if you want to be picky about it. We batted first and scored absolutely millions. This was one game when Ealing didn't have a chance of winning before they had even batted. If you played for the Bush you tended to remember matches like that.
Although I would admit and I am sure David would as well that if you were looking for volunteers to lead the Charge of the Light Brigade he would not be first in line at the recruitment office he was great fun to be with, particularly on tour. I only went on one tour with David and that was the MCC Tour to the Channel Islands. I remember very little of this tour which passed by in a haze of alcohol. I do remember two incidents particularly well because they were so funny. Late one evening he came into the bar of the hotel where we were staying soaking wet with a water lily between his teeth. He had fallen into the ornamental pond outside the hotel! On the flight coming home, which was fairly full he had somehow persuaded one of the air hostesses to lend him her uniform (he was rather good at detaching ladies from their clothing) and he had also requisitioned a steering wheel from somewhere (I never did work that out). He walked or it would be more accurate to say lurched down the aisle dressed in the air hostesses's uniform, holding the steering wheel and asking everybody if they had any idea where it had fallen off from because he had just found it in the cabin.
Jim, you could devote at least one edition of Googlies to David Jukes. He was a joy to play cricket with and to be with at any time and the most extraordinary character in London Club Cricket during the 60's and 70's. The South Hampstead score book does not reflect the contribution that he made to the game of cricket or to the lives of the people he played it with.
Oval Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports from the Kia not the Brit
Jim and Arthur went to the Oval on Friday (when I was on my way back from Noss Mayo) and saw Surrey make 322 against Northants: RJHB was the star with 74 off 111 balls while there were other entertaining knocks from Gary Wilson 29 off 28, Zander de Bruyn 35 off 52 and Tom Maynard 32 off 37. Gareth Batty would also appear to have batted usefully for 64, but Jim did not give him a mention. The best of the bowlers were Lee Daggett (3 for 63) and James Middlebrook (3 for 78). I went on the Saturday, Rob White (who always impresses me) was easily the classiest of the Northants batters and made an excellent 78 as the other batsmen looked at sea against Tim Linley (4 for 53) who reduced the visitors to 163 for 7. It was not surprising that skipper Andrew Hall and off-spinner Middlebrook, batting at 9, did not want to throw their wickets away under these circumstances and they made sure that they had stabilised the innings before improving the scoring rate. These tactics were both justified and successful as the pair put on 179 for the eighth wicket, more than doubling the score, before Hall fell for 73, but Middlebrook went on to 103 as Northants ended on 376. Batty bowled well to take 3 for 66 off 35 overs, while Stuart Meaker also picked up 3 for 100. The lead of 54 would have been useful if Northants could have made inroads into the Surrey batting, but Wilson, Michael Brown, RJHB and Maynard (all with 40s) and De Bruyn (91*) made sure it did not happen despite Daggett's 3 for 69, while Chris Schofield's quick 37* off 23 balls at the end allowed Rory to set the visitors an interesting target of 291 to win in 60-odd overs. Mal Loye made 52, Alex Wakely 43 and Meaker took 3 for 46, but only White, with 38 off 42 balls, had looked like making the decisive contribution and well before the end, the draw had become inevitable. April 9th was my joint (with 2010) earliest ever start to a season.
Revier Matters
Jim Revier sent me the following
I arranged to meet the great man at the Oval yesterday and was astonished on my arrival at Lambeth station to be greeted by rain (none having been forecast by the Beeb). On proceeding into the ground I saw the great man under the umbrella, in shorts, on the Gasometer side. He observed immediately that I didn't have an umbrella and informed me that this wouldn't be a problem as he carried THREE in his bag. He duly offered me the one that he had found left behind by another spectator on a previous Oval visit. Unfortunately during the afternoon session whilst taking food GJM dropped a grape into the cavernous bag. This caused a mighty upturning of the bag during which it was discovered there was no third umbrella, and puzzlement as to what had become of it. He eventually found the grape though.
Red Mist Matters
Some readers will recall that Graham Napier burst into the headlines a couple of years back with a televised 152 in a televised Twenty20 match. In this innings he set a new world record of sixteen sixes in a 20/20 innings. Since then he got an IPL contract but made little impression and has not played for eleven months with a stress fracture of the back. That is until he turned out for Essex against Surrey at Whitgift School ground.
On the first day Rory Hamilton Brown won the toss and, like Banger, elected to field. At the close Napier was 25 not out. On the second morning he played himself in for three overs but then hooked Tremlett out of the ground. When Linley came on Napier was on 83; he scored a further 113 from 33 balls. He was finally dismissed for 196 having scored 171 from the 78 balls he had faced on the day, including 125 in the morning session. He scored 176 in boundaries including nineteen fours and sixteen sixes. The sixteen sixes in an innings equalled Andrew Symonds record for the most hit in a first class innings.
Bruton Matters
Allen Bruton sent me the following
Italy’s Mario draghi set to head ECB
You can imagine my despair at sighting the above Daily Telegraph headline. Bad enough having Fabio sabotage our national football team and now it seemed the cricket authorities were about to follow suit. If we have to suffer another bungling Italian let it be Silvio Berlusconi which would at least provide entertainment, not to mention the recruitment potential for Andrew Baker’s Ladies Football Team.
Panic over, it transpired that the subject of the article was the European Central Bank. Thus we can relax in the knowledge that cricket is relatively safe and it is only the economy about to be screwed up.
Seaxe Matters
Geoff Norris, the Middlesex President, wrote the following for the Seaxe Newsletter
In the seventies, the members gave much support at away matches. Every other Sunday at least one coach was booked and for mid-week cup matches, usually two. Ken Graham was the main organiser and the players were always appreciative of the vocal support they received. The away match I remember the most was the semi-final Derbyshire v Middlesex at Chesterfield in 1975. With the tremendous support, Middlesex won and I gave Norman Featherstone a lift home in my car. He was man of the match and spent the whole journey trying to persuade me to buy his gold medal for £75. I told him it was a memento for life, but I bet before the season was out, it was no longer in his possession.
Rangers Matters
I sent the following to the Great Jack Morgan
I don’t pretend to understand what they did wrong but strangely the FA seem to have got the result right. It would have been ridiculous if they had missed promotion or had to play in the shoot out play offs. However, that is the beginning of agony. Even though there is planned stability at Manager level it is hard to see that they will not get beaten all round the country next season and lose a load of home matches as well. Blackpool have proved that flamboyancy will get you nowhere. The reason people like them is there are always loads of goals in their games. The problem is that they concede more than they score. If the Rangers go the dour defensive route they will have to find some better strikers who will score a high proportion of the few chances that will be created. I watched one of their last games when they ended up with four centre forwards on the pitch none of whom seemed likely to score. Smith looked the best but he is probably not up to Premiership standards. Two of the stars, Routledge and Taarbalt, have already failed at that level. Still the object is to play at the top level and we have got there for the fourth time in our lifetimes and who knows I may be proved wrong. My concern is that if the money bags put their hands in their pockets it may be too late. It takes a fair bit of time to get a side to settle down and the premiership oppositions are an unforgiving bunch.
Football Matters
Andrew Baker had to take out a super injunction to keep secret the location of the training ground for his Ladies team. However, when it was leaked on Twitter chaos ensued and Ken Molloy was on hand to photograph the consequences.
Meanwhile in the training ground itself Andrew tries to use every minute to good advantage and he even had Kelvin West, his defense coach, getting the ladies to practice their “wall” formation in the car park.
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