My Work
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 170
February 2017
Caption Competition
4. Joe Root: Do you remember KP?
Eion Morgan: Yup.
Joe Root: Who does he play for?
Eion Morgan: Himself.
5. Joe Root: The oppo wants a sub fielder, skip.
Eion Morgan: Send them Moeen.
6. Joe Root: Who is the best keeper in our squad?
Eion Morgan: Sam Billings, probably.
Out and About with the Professor
So, Yorkshire are all ready for the new season:
We have a new captain – Gary Ballance – who has almost no first-class experience of captaincy (I recall he did skipper one game last year at, I think, Scarborough);A new coach – Andrew Gale - who has no experience at all of coaching at this level; And a first team squad which may, at any time, lose between two and five of the players to England.
What could possibly go wrong?
On the assumption that we will see very little of Root and Bairstow in a Yorkshire shirt there is still the question of the availability of Rashid, Plunkett and Willey. I think it fair to conclude that Ballance’s England career is on hold for a while, indeed I read that this was one of the important criteria in his selection as captain. Ditto Lyth and Bresnan, notwithstanding the latter’s success in the Big Bash. Rashid’s return to Headingley might not be too warm given his refusal to play in the last Championship match last season because he was “too tired”. Exhausting stuff those leg-breaks. It was back in September, but should he be counting on the Yorkshire supporters having short-term memories, he might wish to recalibrate.
The good news is that Peter is on his way. Peter? Yes, the very gifted Australian (or so it seemed to me on the few clips I’ve seen) Peter Handscomb. The only problem is that no one seems quite sure when he’s coming. He is coming. Certainly. For sure. We just don’t know when or for how long. Perhaps for the start of the season? But then he might miss June (Champions Trophy) and August (Test matches). Who knows?
Given all this it is perhaps a little surprising that I read that Yorkshire are one of the favourites for the title. But then prediction in that area seldom seems to have a great deal of veracity. I recall Bob Willis doing a Nostradamus bit in the Grauniad a few years back; I jotted down his predictions and concluded, at the end of the season, that the pin method was superior.
Still it does to be confident and we all are. But I suspect there may be a few grumblings about the nationality of our new captain. The “all Yorkshire” demand has long-since gone (although it does occasionally get an airing at an AGM) but a foreign captain? I note that in last month’s Googlies (169) Murray Hedgcock accuses me of calling him a xenophobe. In truth I can’t remember doing so but if I did it can only be that Mr Murray evinced some views consistent with being, well…a xenophobe. I have always thought it odd that people get so het-up about the geographical origins of cricketers. As soon as they do so, they begin a search for some acceptable criterion to operationalize their prejudice. For some, all national representatives must be born in that country. That obviously rules out dozens of past England players and quite a few captains. This then mutates to: “being raised” in that country (whatever that might mean), or “brought up” (ditto), or “learned the game in” (ditto, ditto). Mr Hedgcock’s offering is “being a product of” which has a nice industrial feel about it.
I suppose having represented another country at some level or other is at least clear-cut but that, of course, takes us back to the very origins of Test cricket. I really don’t see the problem here. Someone or other makes some rules about this; if Keaton Jennings or anybody else meets the criteria and is good enough, he should play. If they change the regulations, the outcomes will change. Nationality is, in any event, merely a social construct, a product of our collective imaginations. It is, of course, a very effective one. It engenders extraordinary levels of emotion and sacrifice but it is, nevertheless, a contrivance. The same is even more obviously true of “Countyism” – to invent a word. The fact that I regard England as my team - and Yorkshire as my (adopted) team - is just an atavistic tribal affiliation that I choose, and really not worth anyone’s ire.
So, should Keaton Jennings get lots of runs for England this summer and Gary Ballance lead Yorkshire to the Championship, I will applaud their efforts and be a very happy chappy.
Middlesex & Other Matters
The GJM updates us on any items we might have missed
J Franklin has signed on for another two years with Middlesex. He did well with his batting and captaincy last season, but his friendly bowling continues to be woeful.
A Voges is returning to Middlesex as overseas player and captain this season: has he given up on playing for Oz? Or do their fixtures not clash with ours?
T Helm has signed a new contract and M Holden (currently on tour with England U-19s) has been loaned to Northamptonshire until the end of June.
Max Holden made 85 for England U-19s v India in Mumbai, but the lads lost by 3 wkts in a 50 over game.
M Walker and A Donald are the new coach and assistant coach at Kent.
South Africa's K Abbott (ex-Middlesex) and R Rossouw have quit international cricket to play for Hampshire as Kolpaks.
ABdeV will not be touring England this year, "I'm just not ready" he said, even though the main tour does not start until July! Though there is actually some limited overs stuff as early as May, a mere 4 months away!
The Cricketer's readers' poll on the best England captains finished: 1 M Brearley; 2 M Vaughan; 3 D Jardine.
Lancashire have signed 2 Kolpaks: S Chanderpaul and South African keeper D Vilas.
The MCC team to play Middlesex in Abu Dhabi from 26/3 is H Hameed (La), T Alsop (H), S Northeast capt (K), B Duckett (Np), J Clarke (Wo), B Cox (Wo), L Gregory (Som), M Coles (K), M Fisher (Y), M Crane (H), J Leach (Som). I was surprised at the selection of Fisher and Crane as Fisher did not make the Championship bowling averages at all last season, while Crane was 79th in the list with 31 wkts at 45.45.
Andy Bull has an interesting article in today's G about the dramatic decline in drawn Test Matches: only 7 out of 47 were drawn in 2016 about 15%, similar to the 2002 figure, but to beat those figures you have to go all the way back to 1950, when only a pitiful 9 Tests were played. Of the 7 draws in 2016, 4 were thoroughly washed out and a fifth was Eng v SL which was rained off during the fourth innings on day 5, when a result was still likely/ possible, leaving only 2 where there was little chance of a result, but not the fault of the weather: these were South Africa v England in Cape Town and India v England at Rajkot. One reason is a big increase in batting collapses, possibly because modern batsmen lack the ability or inclination to bat out matches and another is because fielding teams now believe more can be achieved in a shorter space of time. In addition, eight Tests in 2016 were won by an innings (more than the no of draws), another seven by 7 wickets or more and another ten by 200 runs or more: big wins are now more common than close matches and dull matches.
Cacophony Matters
Trumpets at cricket matches have long been the purview of the Barmy Army, but I witnessed an extreme version last week. In the South Africa/ Sri Lanka first ODI at Port Elizabeth there was an enormous band in the stands which comprised about ten trumpeters, ten trombonists, ten drummers and no doubt more instruments. This outfit produced a non-stop cacophony throughout the match. It must have been deafening within the ground as the broadcasters couldn’t keep the sound off air. It was no surprise that the group only had a limited repertoire and so repetition became another aggravating irritant.
It did however remind me of a May Bank Holiday fixture at Lord’s in the early sixties when a brass band, probably military, performed on the grass in front of the Tavern during the lunch interval. We all thought that they would pack up and go home at 2.10, when play resumed, but bizarrely they continued during the afternoon session. I don’t know what the players made of it, particularly as they were used to performing in total silence in those days and bowlers would stop in their run ups if there was the slightest noise. I do recall Ted Dexter expressing his view of the event when he lifted Fred Titmus for six in amongst the band.
Carlin Matters
At the WGCCC post season dinner the Professor castigated Paddy for his recent lack of contributions to this organ. He subsequently sent me the following:
Surrey v Middlesex at the Oval, May 2016
Watching Murtagh and Roland-Jones make merry in a stand of about 70 to piss off the Surrey bowlers and then suitably inspired watch the same two tie up the Surrey batsmen in knots. Only Jason Roy, batting with superb restraint (he can do it if required), looked comfortable. Then for one over Malan comes on and Roy promptly jabs a long hop into short leg’s hands - no he can’t do it!
Middlesex v Somerset at Lord’s, May 2016
Sitting in the pavilion watching a century plus opening stand without any alarms from Gubbins and Robson as Somerset went through four or five mediocre pacemen to try to remove them. All the while down in front of the Pavilion and having to move two or three times each over from deep fine leg to third man was Jack Leach. He continued to practise his bowling- a couple of steps and a whirl of the left arm- but for an hour or more was completely ignored by his captain, Banger. At long last he came on and immediately tied up both batsmen who by this time were well set. Leach eventually nearly won the Championship for his county as Taunton changed from batsman’s paradise into a dusty turner. But Leach looked by far the best bowler on a good wicket and he was probably unlucky not to go to India and Bangladesh where he would surely have got more response than the motley crew of spinners England took there.
Gloucestershire v Leicestershire at Cheltenham, July 2016
As always a pleasure to visit and another sunny day as batteries of medium pacers took seventeen or eighteen wickets for not very much on a wicket of variable bounce. As always seems to be the case the visitors came away with the win. I don’t think that I have ever seen Gloucestershire win this match.
Queuing up to get in at the School Chapel I overheard a conversation behind me between a sixtyish South African and the official in charge of the gate. The South African had come to collect his ticket for the match but was told he could not do that there and would have to walk out onto the main road and about four hundred yards away to another entrance. When asked for his name he replied ”Proctor” and yes this was indeed one of the half dozen or so greatest cricketers ever to play for the county(along with Grace, Jessop, Hammond, Goddard, Graveney et al). To his credit Mike Proctor accepted the advice from the official with a shrug and walked away to the other gate.
Interfering busybody that I am I took this up with an official from the county expressing my surprise that someone of Proctor’s status would even need a ticket but was told by the official that it was good to see the gateman doing his job properly and not letting anyone in without a ticket. I wrote to Will brown, the Chief Executive of GCCC and the good news is that they are sending Mike a Life Honorary Membership pass so that this shouldn’t happen again.
Seriously though the Cheltenham Festival is one to visit. They may not recognise great players but mediocre performers like me can have a good time.
Welwyn Garden City CC news:
The Professor has already noted his pleasure at the club becoming Hertfordshire’s County Champions and he and I wonder at the strength of the current 1st XI – a far cry from when he and I played at that level. The current squad has four players (all ex Middlesex) with first class experience of which Owais Shah has also played for England, four with Minor County experience, two Cambridge blues, two with county second eleven experience and two pretty useful club cricketers.
The team was unlucky in that it suffered three rained off no results but were able due to the play offs to comfortably see off Bishop Stortford and Radlett who finished above them in the league table but who had had no and one no result games respectively.
Gurjit Sandhu opened the bowling for WGCCC after losing his Middlesex contract. He was interviewed in the ”Cricket Paper” where he opined that the Herts League was stronger than the Middlesex League. I am not sure that this is true and at the moment there is really no way of estimating the relative strength of teams. Twenty five years ago when Dunday sides were sometimes as strong as the Saturday sides this was possible but the demise of Sunday cricket has left the Leagues in a bubble of their own. WGCCC now play Herts Premier League sides plus two friendlies at the start of the season against Winchmore Hill and Twickenham. In the past there were Sunday games, sometimes all day, against Southgate, Enfield, Wembley, Brondesbury, Finchley, Hornsey, Hampstead, Chingford, Wanstead and Brentwood. Now it is impossible to play these games and it is a shame. The advent of ECB Premier Leagues plus the presence of good overseas players has made 1st XI cricket stronger but I’m not sure this has made things better or improved the overall state of English cricket.
On this subject after the comprehensive thrashing by India and the speculation about Cook’s captaincy one can only feel sorry for him. Speaking for my own experience of captaincy it seemed clear that the secret of being a good captain is to have a much stronger side than your opponent- it was ever thus.
Finally thanks to the Professor for reminding me of my returning to form as an umpire towards the end of the season. I had been having a hard time taking wickets until the Old Owens v Radlett game when I got about eight or nine for very few. It always helps when fast bowlers are bowling in bad light to tail enders.
Ignominy Matters
In the first test in Wellington Bangladesh scored 595 for 8 against new Zealand. Shakid Al Hasan scored 217 in just under seven hours. It can’t have been too hot since Shakib normally tires quickly and gets out slogging after about an hour at the crease. New Zealand replied with 539 but then shot Bangladesh out for 160 second time round. New Zealand then knocked off the 217 needed for victory in just under three hours with sometime Yorkshireman, Kane Williamson, unbeaten on 117. This meant that Bangladesh broke a 123-year record for the highest total made by a losing side in a Test.
Red Mist Matters
In the third T20 batting for New Zealand against Bangladesh Corey Anderson came in with the score at 41 for 3. He then struck 94 not out from 41 balls in an innings which included 10 sixes and 2 fours.
Anyone ever heard of Marcus Stoinis? In the recent ODI New Zealand scored 286 for 9, and in reply Australia had slumped to 54 for 5 when Stoinis came to the crease. He ran out of partners when they were all out for 280 but in the meantime he had scored 146 not out from 117 balls in an innings that included 11 sixes and 9 fours.
It is increasingly the case that the telling innings in 50 over and T20 cricket include more sixes than fours. In the third ODI Morgan hit 4 sixes and just 1 four in his 51 and in the third T20 he hit 3 sixes and 2 fours.
Ged Matters
Ged Ladd describes the fourth day of the Taunton match from his work perspective. Having spent part of the previous week in Scarborough and having scheduled more time off the coming Thursday and Friday for the test match, Ged was planning on getting his work done during the Somerset match…until the match got very interesting! There are links to MTWD reports covering all 4 days at end of the report to confirm it really happened. This was the day most of us dared to believe we could really be champions.
It's 13 July 2016. Contrary to popular belief and some evidence to the contrary, I do actually work. I had designated the Monday to Wednesday of the Taunton game as work time. I had little choice really, having:
Monday and Tuesday were office and meeting days, whereas Wednesday I was working from home and I needed to get all my write ups done ahead of the test match.
Daisy and I had listened to quite a bit of Day One of the Somerset match on the internet radio and thought Middlesex were very well placed at the end of Day One. Similarly, I felt Middlesex were probably setting up a good win at the end of Day Two, although doubts were entering my mind at the end of Day Three, observing that scores seemed to be getting higher and higher each innings; that often bodes for a draw, not a win.
Still, overnight at the end of Day Three, Somerset were 348/6; just over 200 ahead with six wickets down. The second new ball was still pretty new; if Middlesex could finish Somerset off quickly, then it still looked good for a Middlesex win.
On the Wednesday, I got a fair chunk of my work done early (as is my habit), then went to the gym around 11:00ish so I could listen to the internet radio for a bit through the headphones while I exercised. This was a frustrating hour. Middlesex working hard but to little or no avail. Me, with my more workaday forms of exertion, probably even more futile efforts.
I missed the wickets that fell in the morning session but was back at my desk around lunchtime. It still seemed possible that Middlesex might win as long as we could finish Somerset off quickly after lunch. That didn’t happen. Nor did I get all that much work done during that first part of the afternoon session, while I was anxiously willing the Middlesex bowlers to take that last wicket.
When Buck Rogers declared, nine down, he seemed to be throwing down a tough gauntlet. Although it had been hard to take wickets on that track, no-one had scored at more than three/three-and-a-half runs per over. Middlesex were going to need to score over 300 at more than six-and-a-half.
Intriguing situation…but I needed to get that work done. I’d just leave the internet commentary on in the background and get on with my write ups…
…easier said than done. It was clear from the outset that Middlesex were going for it. I tried to concentrate on my work.
A win really would cement Middlesex’s position at the top of the table, whereas a draw would leave the table wide open still. We already knew how hard it was for Middlesex (or indeed any county) to win a game in four days at Lord’s this season, so away wins were priceless for Middlesex. I tried to concentrate on my work and get some done. The tea interval helped a little.
Then a small cluster of wickets, followed by a much more sedate 5th wicket partnership between Franklin and Simpson for about three-quarters-of-an-hour after tea. I got a bit more work done during that period, although I was feeling a bit frustrated with the match during that time. Middlesex seemed to have bailed out of the run chase a little early for my taste. Little did I know that they had done no such thing.
I very clearly recall going downstairs to make myself a pot of tea and hearing Franklin’s dismissal while down there. The office in my apartment is an upstairs annex, but I have the whole apartment wired for sound; most of the time have the sound switched on in all rooms. This is a music and Radio 4 habit as well as a cricket commentary habit with me.
Once I heard the commentators say that James Fuller had been sent out to bat ahead of Eskinazi and Rayner, I realised the game was about to get very interesting indeed.
For a reason I simply cannot explain, I plonked myself in front of the computer/sound equipment in the front room and just sat there, staring at the equipment, listening. There is no purpose to looking at the equipment. The sound is no better in that position. I think it was simply a psychological thing; the sound of the action is coming from those gadgets and I needed to feel close to the action.
If it were possible to hide behind the sofa in my front room, perhaps I would have done that instead at some point during the next hour or so. But I have a futon in the front room and there is no place to hide behind there. So I just sat. I didn’t even finish making the pot of tea until a few minutes after the match and broadcast had finished.
It really was a breath-taking ending to a four day game. Just two wickets left. Six runs needed off the last three balls. John Simpson, you hero! Not just that winning six of course; there were three others and plenty of fours too – mostly at the latter-end of his almost-run-a-ball 79.
Great declaration from Buck Rogers too. Somerset needed points at that time and he nearly managed to pull off a surprise win. Little did he or we know how the rest of the season would pan out, but Middlesex’s win in this Taunton match (as well as the Scarborough match the week before) was vital in setting up that last day of the season extravaganza, in which Middlesex, Yorkshire or Somerset all might have grabbed the County Championship right down to the last few minutes of the season.
What a County Championship summer 2016 turned out to be; of course for Middlesex, but also for the County Championship as a tournament.
Meanwhile, that day in July, when I finally came down from cloud nine after Middlesex beat Somerset, I realised that I still had plenty of work to do and that the evening was relentlessly progressing. It was a late finish and a late night for me, but, by gosh, it was worth it.
Rangers Matters
Like me, the Great Jack Morgan hasn’t been to Loftus Road this century but he still follows their every move
I was shocked to see Peter Lansley in the Observer give Rs a full length, four column report in today's issue. Despite "Wolves dominating throughout", there was plenty of praise for Rs' fighting qualities and, in particular, Pawel Wszolek "the Polish winger on loan from Verona ate up the ground down the right wing before crossing for Idrissa Sylla (a muscular and wiry target man) to convert his fifth goal of the season from close range". It was Rs' first goal in 413 minutes of (in?) action. The winner came “as the Wolves defence waited for the ball to roll through to their keeper, Ikeme, Wszolek stretched out a leg and toe-poked the ball into the bottom corner of the net". There was also praise for our goalie "the excellent Alex Smithies" and 20 year old Ryan Manning who "competed manfully in the centre of midfield". There was also a large picture of Sylla (a tall slim black man) scoring the first goal, plus a small one of a laughing Olly. Rs are home to Ipswich tomorrow, BH Monday.
Funny how I seem to do my computing at this time of day when Rs are 2-1 up v Ipswich with 7 mins to go. The same two heroes (Sylla and Wszolek) have got the goals... and that was the final score. Rs move up another couple to places to 17th, approaching the dizzy heights of mid-table, but because Blackburn won, we are still only 5 points clear of the relegation places. The Guardian included the game in its Championship Round-up, but told us nothing new.
The omens were not good for Rs' home FA Cup tie v Blackburn (despite the visitors' presence in the bottom three of the Championship) as Rs have the worst win ratio (11.1%) of any side to play 10 or more Cup matches since 2000. They have also been eliminated in the 3rd round 47 times, one fewer than Plymouth's record. Well, the win ratio got even worse and we are now level with Plymouth on 48 3rd round eliminations, though Plymouth play at Anfield tomorrow. My spellchecker did not recognise the word "Anfield"! Rs have now won 2 of their last 24 Cup ties.
Rs took their no of consecutive wins to 3 (if you do not count the Cup debacle) with a shock 0-1 win at third placed Reading. It was the only match being played on Thursday, but the Guardian could not be bothered to send a reporter so they quoted a PA report "Rs went ahead in the 28th minute after good work by Pawel Wszolek and Ryan Manning...and Jamie Mackie tucked the ball home from close range at the far post...and QPR held on with relative ease". Easy!
Rs had a truly dreadful result losing at home to relegation threatened Burton, who were 22nd before today.
Football Matters
I was copied in on some Old Dane email correspondence
Don Shearwood:
I was running (or walking quickly) the line for my team today at Fairlop Playing Fields, Hainault, and the game on the adjoining pitch finished a bit earlier than ours. At the end of their game, I heard the old shout "Three cheers for..." I didn't catch the name, but they reciprocated. As the ball went out of play in our game, I took the opportunity to ask the oldest player I could see from the match next door what league he was in. He replied, "Division 6 North of the AFA league, why?". I said I hadn't heard three cheers at the end of a match since I was playing in the Old Boys Football League. He said: "Oh, we always do it".
I thought that was great, our old traditions survive.
I mentioned it to our manager over a pint at the end of the game, and he said, "Well, there was an AFA match a few pitches the other way and they were all ready to have a punch-up"
We play in the Essex Alliance League, by the way
Keith Slavin:
How many years ago is that? 1970s? However, I can remember a few ODs games when '3 cheers' was a long way from being active.
However, refreshing to hear of an almost antideluvian tale in the world of football.
Bill Groombridge:
I can remember many things worse than a threatened punch up but that was on Sundays (day of rest) not Old Boys football.
Incidentally I live very close to an Old Uffingtonian and used to play in the same cricket team down here in sunny Sussex!
Old Danes Gathering
The next Old Danes Gathering at Shepherds Bush CC is scheduled for 2018.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also a large number of photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel: 01298 70237
Email: [email protected]
www.googlies
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 170
February 2017
Caption Competition
- Joe Root: Why am I in the T20 side?
- Eion Morgan: Why didn’t you stay at home for this series, Joe?
- Eion Morgan: Have you faced Tymal in the nets?
4. Joe Root: Do you remember KP?
Eion Morgan: Yup.
Joe Root: Who does he play for?
Eion Morgan: Himself.
5. Joe Root: The oppo wants a sub fielder, skip.
Eion Morgan: Send them Moeen.
6. Joe Root: Who is the best keeper in our squad?
Eion Morgan: Sam Billings, probably.
Out and About with the Professor
So, Yorkshire are all ready for the new season:
We have a new captain – Gary Ballance – who has almost no first-class experience of captaincy (I recall he did skipper one game last year at, I think, Scarborough);A new coach – Andrew Gale - who has no experience at all of coaching at this level; And a first team squad which may, at any time, lose between two and five of the players to England.
What could possibly go wrong?
On the assumption that we will see very little of Root and Bairstow in a Yorkshire shirt there is still the question of the availability of Rashid, Plunkett and Willey. I think it fair to conclude that Ballance’s England career is on hold for a while, indeed I read that this was one of the important criteria in his selection as captain. Ditto Lyth and Bresnan, notwithstanding the latter’s success in the Big Bash. Rashid’s return to Headingley might not be too warm given his refusal to play in the last Championship match last season because he was “too tired”. Exhausting stuff those leg-breaks. It was back in September, but should he be counting on the Yorkshire supporters having short-term memories, he might wish to recalibrate.
The good news is that Peter is on his way. Peter? Yes, the very gifted Australian (or so it seemed to me on the few clips I’ve seen) Peter Handscomb. The only problem is that no one seems quite sure when he’s coming. He is coming. Certainly. For sure. We just don’t know when or for how long. Perhaps for the start of the season? But then he might miss June (Champions Trophy) and August (Test matches). Who knows?
Given all this it is perhaps a little surprising that I read that Yorkshire are one of the favourites for the title. But then prediction in that area seldom seems to have a great deal of veracity. I recall Bob Willis doing a Nostradamus bit in the Grauniad a few years back; I jotted down his predictions and concluded, at the end of the season, that the pin method was superior.
Still it does to be confident and we all are. But I suspect there may be a few grumblings about the nationality of our new captain. The “all Yorkshire” demand has long-since gone (although it does occasionally get an airing at an AGM) but a foreign captain? I note that in last month’s Googlies (169) Murray Hedgcock accuses me of calling him a xenophobe. In truth I can’t remember doing so but if I did it can only be that Mr Murray evinced some views consistent with being, well…a xenophobe. I have always thought it odd that people get so het-up about the geographical origins of cricketers. As soon as they do so, they begin a search for some acceptable criterion to operationalize their prejudice. For some, all national representatives must be born in that country. That obviously rules out dozens of past England players and quite a few captains. This then mutates to: “being raised” in that country (whatever that might mean), or “brought up” (ditto), or “learned the game in” (ditto, ditto). Mr Hedgcock’s offering is “being a product of” which has a nice industrial feel about it.
I suppose having represented another country at some level or other is at least clear-cut but that, of course, takes us back to the very origins of Test cricket. I really don’t see the problem here. Someone or other makes some rules about this; if Keaton Jennings or anybody else meets the criteria and is good enough, he should play. If they change the regulations, the outcomes will change. Nationality is, in any event, merely a social construct, a product of our collective imaginations. It is, of course, a very effective one. It engenders extraordinary levels of emotion and sacrifice but it is, nevertheless, a contrivance. The same is even more obviously true of “Countyism” – to invent a word. The fact that I regard England as my team - and Yorkshire as my (adopted) team - is just an atavistic tribal affiliation that I choose, and really not worth anyone’s ire.
So, should Keaton Jennings get lots of runs for England this summer and Gary Ballance lead Yorkshire to the Championship, I will applaud their efforts and be a very happy chappy.
Middlesex & Other Matters
The GJM updates us on any items we might have missed
J Franklin has signed on for another two years with Middlesex. He did well with his batting and captaincy last season, but his friendly bowling continues to be woeful.
A Voges is returning to Middlesex as overseas player and captain this season: has he given up on playing for Oz? Or do their fixtures not clash with ours?
T Helm has signed a new contract and M Holden (currently on tour with England U-19s) has been loaned to Northamptonshire until the end of June.
Max Holden made 85 for England U-19s v India in Mumbai, but the lads lost by 3 wkts in a 50 over game.
M Walker and A Donald are the new coach and assistant coach at Kent.
South Africa's K Abbott (ex-Middlesex) and R Rossouw have quit international cricket to play for Hampshire as Kolpaks.
ABdeV will not be touring England this year, "I'm just not ready" he said, even though the main tour does not start until July! Though there is actually some limited overs stuff as early as May, a mere 4 months away!
The Cricketer's readers' poll on the best England captains finished: 1 M Brearley; 2 M Vaughan; 3 D Jardine.
Lancashire have signed 2 Kolpaks: S Chanderpaul and South African keeper D Vilas.
The MCC team to play Middlesex in Abu Dhabi from 26/3 is H Hameed (La), T Alsop (H), S Northeast capt (K), B Duckett (Np), J Clarke (Wo), B Cox (Wo), L Gregory (Som), M Coles (K), M Fisher (Y), M Crane (H), J Leach (Som). I was surprised at the selection of Fisher and Crane as Fisher did not make the Championship bowling averages at all last season, while Crane was 79th in the list with 31 wkts at 45.45.
Andy Bull has an interesting article in today's G about the dramatic decline in drawn Test Matches: only 7 out of 47 were drawn in 2016 about 15%, similar to the 2002 figure, but to beat those figures you have to go all the way back to 1950, when only a pitiful 9 Tests were played. Of the 7 draws in 2016, 4 were thoroughly washed out and a fifth was Eng v SL which was rained off during the fourth innings on day 5, when a result was still likely/ possible, leaving only 2 where there was little chance of a result, but not the fault of the weather: these were South Africa v England in Cape Town and India v England at Rajkot. One reason is a big increase in batting collapses, possibly because modern batsmen lack the ability or inclination to bat out matches and another is because fielding teams now believe more can be achieved in a shorter space of time. In addition, eight Tests in 2016 were won by an innings (more than the no of draws), another seven by 7 wickets or more and another ten by 200 runs or more: big wins are now more common than close matches and dull matches.
Cacophony Matters
Trumpets at cricket matches have long been the purview of the Barmy Army, but I witnessed an extreme version last week. In the South Africa/ Sri Lanka first ODI at Port Elizabeth there was an enormous band in the stands which comprised about ten trumpeters, ten trombonists, ten drummers and no doubt more instruments. This outfit produced a non-stop cacophony throughout the match. It must have been deafening within the ground as the broadcasters couldn’t keep the sound off air. It was no surprise that the group only had a limited repertoire and so repetition became another aggravating irritant.
It did however remind me of a May Bank Holiday fixture at Lord’s in the early sixties when a brass band, probably military, performed on the grass in front of the Tavern during the lunch interval. We all thought that they would pack up and go home at 2.10, when play resumed, but bizarrely they continued during the afternoon session. I don’t know what the players made of it, particularly as they were used to performing in total silence in those days and bowlers would stop in their run ups if there was the slightest noise. I do recall Ted Dexter expressing his view of the event when he lifted Fred Titmus for six in amongst the band.
Carlin Matters
At the WGCCC post season dinner the Professor castigated Paddy for his recent lack of contributions to this organ. He subsequently sent me the following:
Surrey v Middlesex at the Oval, May 2016
Watching Murtagh and Roland-Jones make merry in a stand of about 70 to piss off the Surrey bowlers and then suitably inspired watch the same two tie up the Surrey batsmen in knots. Only Jason Roy, batting with superb restraint (he can do it if required), looked comfortable. Then for one over Malan comes on and Roy promptly jabs a long hop into short leg’s hands - no he can’t do it!
Middlesex v Somerset at Lord’s, May 2016
Sitting in the pavilion watching a century plus opening stand without any alarms from Gubbins and Robson as Somerset went through four or five mediocre pacemen to try to remove them. All the while down in front of the Pavilion and having to move two or three times each over from deep fine leg to third man was Jack Leach. He continued to practise his bowling- a couple of steps and a whirl of the left arm- but for an hour or more was completely ignored by his captain, Banger. At long last he came on and immediately tied up both batsmen who by this time were well set. Leach eventually nearly won the Championship for his county as Taunton changed from batsman’s paradise into a dusty turner. But Leach looked by far the best bowler on a good wicket and he was probably unlucky not to go to India and Bangladesh where he would surely have got more response than the motley crew of spinners England took there.
Gloucestershire v Leicestershire at Cheltenham, July 2016
As always a pleasure to visit and another sunny day as batteries of medium pacers took seventeen or eighteen wickets for not very much on a wicket of variable bounce. As always seems to be the case the visitors came away with the win. I don’t think that I have ever seen Gloucestershire win this match.
Queuing up to get in at the School Chapel I overheard a conversation behind me between a sixtyish South African and the official in charge of the gate. The South African had come to collect his ticket for the match but was told he could not do that there and would have to walk out onto the main road and about four hundred yards away to another entrance. When asked for his name he replied ”Proctor” and yes this was indeed one of the half dozen or so greatest cricketers ever to play for the county(along with Grace, Jessop, Hammond, Goddard, Graveney et al). To his credit Mike Proctor accepted the advice from the official with a shrug and walked away to the other gate.
Interfering busybody that I am I took this up with an official from the county expressing my surprise that someone of Proctor’s status would even need a ticket but was told by the official that it was good to see the gateman doing his job properly and not letting anyone in without a ticket. I wrote to Will brown, the Chief Executive of GCCC and the good news is that they are sending Mike a Life Honorary Membership pass so that this shouldn’t happen again.
Seriously though the Cheltenham Festival is one to visit. They may not recognise great players but mediocre performers like me can have a good time.
Welwyn Garden City CC news:
The Professor has already noted his pleasure at the club becoming Hertfordshire’s County Champions and he and I wonder at the strength of the current 1st XI – a far cry from when he and I played at that level. The current squad has four players (all ex Middlesex) with first class experience of which Owais Shah has also played for England, four with Minor County experience, two Cambridge blues, two with county second eleven experience and two pretty useful club cricketers.
The team was unlucky in that it suffered three rained off no results but were able due to the play offs to comfortably see off Bishop Stortford and Radlett who finished above them in the league table but who had had no and one no result games respectively.
Gurjit Sandhu opened the bowling for WGCCC after losing his Middlesex contract. He was interviewed in the ”Cricket Paper” where he opined that the Herts League was stronger than the Middlesex League. I am not sure that this is true and at the moment there is really no way of estimating the relative strength of teams. Twenty five years ago when Dunday sides were sometimes as strong as the Saturday sides this was possible but the demise of Sunday cricket has left the Leagues in a bubble of their own. WGCCC now play Herts Premier League sides plus two friendlies at the start of the season against Winchmore Hill and Twickenham. In the past there were Sunday games, sometimes all day, against Southgate, Enfield, Wembley, Brondesbury, Finchley, Hornsey, Hampstead, Chingford, Wanstead and Brentwood. Now it is impossible to play these games and it is a shame. The advent of ECB Premier Leagues plus the presence of good overseas players has made 1st XI cricket stronger but I’m not sure this has made things better or improved the overall state of English cricket.
On this subject after the comprehensive thrashing by India and the speculation about Cook’s captaincy one can only feel sorry for him. Speaking for my own experience of captaincy it seemed clear that the secret of being a good captain is to have a much stronger side than your opponent- it was ever thus.
Finally thanks to the Professor for reminding me of my returning to form as an umpire towards the end of the season. I had been having a hard time taking wickets until the Old Owens v Radlett game when I got about eight or nine for very few. It always helps when fast bowlers are bowling in bad light to tail enders.
Ignominy Matters
In the first test in Wellington Bangladesh scored 595 for 8 against new Zealand. Shakid Al Hasan scored 217 in just under seven hours. It can’t have been too hot since Shakib normally tires quickly and gets out slogging after about an hour at the crease. New Zealand replied with 539 but then shot Bangladesh out for 160 second time round. New Zealand then knocked off the 217 needed for victory in just under three hours with sometime Yorkshireman, Kane Williamson, unbeaten on 117. This meant that Bangladesh broke a 123-year record for the highest total made by a losing side in a Test.
Red Mist Matters
In the third T20 batting for New Zealand against Bangladesh Corey Anderson came in with the score at 41 for 3. He then struck 94 not out from 41 balls in an innings which included 10 sixes and 2 fours.
Anyone ever heard of Marcus Stoinis? In the recent ODI New Zealand scored 286 for 9, and in reply Australia had slumped to 54 for 5 when Stoinis came to the crease. He ran out of partners when they were all out for 280 but in the meantime he had scored 146 not out from 117 balls in an innings that included 11 sixes and 9 fours.
It is increasingly the case that the telling innings in 50 over and T20 cricket include more sixes than fours. In the third ODI Morgan hit 4 sixes and just 1 four in his 51 and in the third T20 he hit 3 sixes and 2 fours.
Ged Matters
Ged Ladd describes the fourth day of the Taunton match from his work perspective. Having spent part of the previous week in Scarborough and having scheduled more time off the coming Thursday and Friday for the test match, Ged was planning on getting his work done during the Somerset match…until the match got very interesting! There are links to MTWD reports covering all 4 days at end of the report to confirm it really happened. This was the day most of us dared to believe we could really be champions.
It's 13 July 2016. Contrary to popular belief and some evidence to the contrary, I do actually work. I had designated the Monday to Wednesday of the Taunton game as work time. I had little choice really, having:
Monday and Tuesday were office and meeting days, whereas Wednesday I was working from home and I needed to get all my write ups done ahead of the test match.
Daisy and I had listened to quite a bit of Day One of the Somerset match on the internet radio and thought Middlesex were very well placed at the end of Day One. Similarly, I felt Middlesex were probably setting up a good win at the end of Day Two, although doubts were entering my mind at the end of Day Three, observing that scores seemed to be getting higher and higher each innings; that often bodes for a draw, not a win.
Still, overnight at the end of Day Three, Somerset were 348/6; just over 200 ahead with six wickets down. The second new ball was still pretty new; if Middlesex could finish Somerset off quickly, then it still looked good for a Middlesex win.
On the Wednesday, I got a fair chunk of my work done early (as is my habit), then went to the gym around 11:00ish so I could listen to the internet radio for a bit through the headphones while I exercised. This was a frustrating hour. Middlesex working hard but to little or no avail. Me, with my more workaday forms of exertion, probably even more futile efforts.
I missed the wickets that fell in the morning session but was back at my desk around lunchtime. It still seemed possible that Middlesex might win as long as we could finish Somerset off quickly after lunch. That didn’t happen. Nor did I get all that much work done during that first part of the afternoon session, while I was anxiously willing the Middlesex bowlers to take that last wicket.
When Buck Rogers declared, nine down, he seemed to be throwing down a tough gauntlet. Although it had been hard to take wickets on that track, no-one had scored at more than three/three-and-a-half runs per over. Middlesex were going to need to score over 300 at more than six-and-a-half.
Intriguing situation…but I needed to get that work done. I’d just leave the internet commentary on in the background and get on with my write ups…
…easier said than done. It was clear from the outset that Middlesex were going for it. I tried to concentrate on my work.
A win really would cement Middlesex’s position at the top of the table, whereas a draw would leave the table wide open still. We already knew how hard it was for Middlesex (or indeed any county) to win a game in four days at Lord’s this season, so away wins were priceless for Middlesex. I tried to concentrate on my work and get some done. The tea interval helped a little.
Then a small cluster of wickets, followed by a much more sedate 5th wicket partnership between Franklin and Simpson for about three-quarters-of-an-hour after tea. I got a bit more work done during that period, although I was feeling a bit frustrated with the match during that time. Middlesex seemed to have bailed out of the run chase a little early for my taste. Little did I know that they had done no such thing.
I very clearly recall going downstairs to make myself a pot of tea and hearing Franklin’s dismissal while down there. The office in my apartment is an upstairs annex, but I have the whole apartment wired for sound; most of the time have the sound switched on in all rooms. This is a music and Radio 4 habit as well as a cricket commentary habit with me.
Once I heard the commentators say that James Fuller had been sent out to bat ahead of Eskinazi and Rayner, I realised the game was about to get very interesting indeed.
For a reason I simply cannot explain, I plonked myself in front of the computer/sound equipment in the front room and just sat there, staring at the equipment, listening. There is no purpose to looking at the equipment. The sound is no better in that position. I think it was simply a psychological thing; the sound of the action is coming from those gadgets and I needed to feel close to the action.
If it were possible to hide behind the sofa in my front room, perhaps I would have done that instead at some point during the next hour or so. But I have a futon in the front room and there is no place to hide behind there. So I just sat. I didn’t even finish making the pot of tea until a few minutes after the match and broadcast had finished.
It really was a breath-taking ending to a four day game. Just two wickets left. Six runs needed off the last three balls. John Simpson, you hero! Not just that winning six of course; there were three others and plenty of fours too – mostly at the latter-end of his almost-run-a-ball 79.
Great declaration from Buck Rogers too. Somerset needed points at that time and he nearly managed to pull off a surprise win. Little did he or we know how the rest of the season would pan out, but Middlesex’s win in this Taunton match (as well as the Scarborough match the week before) was vital in setting up that last day of the season extravaganza, in which Middlesex, Yorkshire or Somerset all might have grabbed the County Championship right down to the last few minutes of the season.
What a County Championship summer 2016 turned out to be; of course for Middlesex, but also for the County Championship as a tournament.
Meanwhile, that day in July, when I finally came down from cloud nine after Middlesex beat Somerset, I realised that I still had plenty of work to do and that the evening was relentlessly progressing. It was a late finish and a late night for me, but, by gosh, it was worth it.
Rangers Matters
Like me, the Great Jack Morgan hasn’t been to Loftus Road this century but he still follows their every move
I was shocked to see Peter Lansley in the Observer give Rs a full length, four column report in today's issue. Despite "Wolves dominating throughout", there was plenty of praise for Rs' fighting qualities and, in particular, Pawel Wszolek "the Polish winger on loan from Verona ate up the ground down the right wing before crossing for Idrissa Sylla (a muscular and wiry target man) to convert his fifth goal of the season from close range". It was Rs' first goal in 413 minutes of (in?) action. The winner came “as the Wolves defence waited for the ball to roll through to their keeper, Ikeme, Wszolek stretched out a leg and toe-poked the ball into the bottom corner of the net". There was also praise for our goalie "the excellent Alex Smithies" and 20 year old Ryan Manning who "competed manfully in the centre of midfield". There was also a large picture of Sylla (a tall slim black man) scoring the first goal, plus a small one of a laughing Olly. Rs are home to Ipswich tomorrow, BH Monday.
Funny how I seem to do my computing at this time of day when Rs are 2-1 up v Ipswich with 7 mins to go. The same two heroes (Sylla and Wszolek) have got the goals... and that was the final score. Rs move up another couple to places to 17th, approaching the dizzy heights of mid-table, but because Blackburn won, we are still only 5 points clear of the relegation places. The Guardian included the game in its Championship Round-up, but told us nothing new.
The omens were not good for Rs' home FA Cup tie v Blackburn (despite the visitors' presence in the bottom three of the Championship) as Rs have the worst win ratio (11.1%) of any side to play 10 or more Cup matches since 2000. They have also been eliminated in the 3rd round 47 times, one fewer than Plymouth's record. Well, the win ratio got even worse and we are now level with Plymouth on 48 3rd round eliminations, though Plymouth play at Anfield tomorrow. My spellchecker did not recognise the word "Anfield"! Rs have now won 2 of their last 24 Cup ties.
Rs took their no of consecutive wins to 3 (if you do not count the Cup debacle) with a shock 0-1 win at third placed Reading. It was the only match being played on Thursday, but the Guardian could not be bothered to send a reporter so they quoted a PA report "Rs went ahead in the 28th minute after good work by Pawel Wszolek and Ryan Manning...and Jamie Mackie tucked the ball home from close range at the far post...and QPR held on with relative ease". Easy!
Rs had a truly dreadful result losing at home to relegation threatened Burton, who were 22nd before today.
Football Matters
I was copied in on some Old Dane email correspondence
Don Shearwood:
I was running (or walking quickly) the line for my team today at Fairlop Playing Fields, Hainault, and the game on the adjoining pitch finished a bit earlier than ours. At the end of their game, I heard the old shout "Three cheers for..." I didn't catch the name, but they reciprocated. As the ball went out of play in our game, I took the opportunity to ask the oldest player I could see from the match next door what league he was in. He replied, "Division 6 North of the AFA league, why?". I said I hadn't heard three cheers at the end of a match since I was playing in the Old Boys Football League. He said: "Oh, we always do it".
I thought that was great, our old traditions survive.
I mentioned it to our manager over a pint at the end of the game, and he said, "Well, there was an AFA match a few pitches the other way and they were all ready to have a punch-up"
We play in the Essex Alliance League, by the way
Keith Slavin:
How many years ago is that? 1970s? However, I can remember a few ODs games when '3 cheers' was a long way from being active.
However, refreshing to hear of an almost antideluvian tale in the world of football.
Bill Groombridge:
I can remember many things worse than a threatened punch up but that was on Sundays (day of rest) not Old Boys football.
Incidentally I live very close to an Old Uffingtonian and used to play in the same cricket team down here in sunny Sussex!
Old Danes Gathering
The next Old Danes Gathering at Shepherds Bush CC is scheduled for 2018.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also a large number of photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
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