G&C 254
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 254
February 2024
Spot the Ball
Out & About with the Professor
The Professor reports on his annual visit
It was in the “Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Napoleon” that Marx authored the much-misquoted observation that history repeats itself: “the first time as tragedy, the second as farce”. (Marx had in his sights Napoleon’s nephew, Louis, who had just staged a coup d’état in 1851: “a grotesque mediocrity to play a hero’s part”.) It is just possible that the good folk who gathered in the Headingley Long Room on Friday for the latest of Yorkshire’s EGM’s (estimates differed in the room as to how many we had had in the past two years: 3?, 5?, double figures?) did not have the words of a long-dead German philosopher in their minds…but we all knew we had been here before. We were all assembled to witness the second coming of Chairman Graves.
“Colin” (we are all friends here) had already, of course, had one spell as Yorkshire Chairman, when a personal loan of £14 million had saved the club from immediate bankruptcy. Indeed the story (which I have on impeccable authority) was that Yorkshire’s bank would have started insolvency proceedings some weeks’ before had not the local bank manager been a member. That the Club was in need of such a sizeable loan was, as can be imagined, the subject of considerable debate; but it was all in the past, Colin was at the helm, and we were due to take our place as one of “the most famous clubs in the world”.
12 years on and we were £22million in debt and one of the most infamous clubs in the world.
In between, three important things happened. The first was financial; the conversion of the Colin Graves loan into a commitment to an independent trust so that Graves could pursue his ambition to be Chair of the ECB. The independent trust is called the “Colin Graves Trust” and is now seeking part repayment in accordance with the conditions of the loan. The second was the rebuilding of the South Stand which is, indeed, a vast improvement in the appearance and functioning of the ground…and the third was Rafiq. This third important thing is often personified as the “Rafiq issue”, the (barely unspoken) implication being that the problem was the whistleblower not the racism - the victim was the culprit. Indeed, I have heard past Board members declare that there never was, nor ever has been, a problem of racism in the Club, notwithstanding the ECB’s findings. Denial is very popular. Colin Graves seemed to support that view with his reference to a “bit of banter” but that has since been rescinded with an acknowledgement of past mistakes in a statement that one hopes is genuine but, as someone next to me said, does have the feel of being drafted by a PR department.
The Graves offer is hard to refuse (not least because it is the only one) and consists of: £1million now (in effect to pay the wages) and £4million in the near future, dependent upon the members agreeing to Mr Graves returning as Chair together with three hand-picked directors, and eight existing directors leaving the Board. The £4million is needed in part repayment of the loan held by the Colin Graves Trust. Presumably over time something similar will happen to future repayments and the Colin Graves Trust will be dissolved with all the debt held by, er, Colin Graves.
Unless of course the finances can be transformed in the next few years. There were (unspecified) “exciting new income streams” in the offing which would help Mr Graves succeed in his manifesto commitment to: “Make YCCC great again” (no, really). It is difficult to see what they might be. Indeed, it is difficult to see what the financial future of any of the major cricket grounds might be - excepting Lord’s and the Oval. Yorkshire have no Test in 2024 and sponsorship and membership have been severely affected by the “Rafiq issue”. Sky (or whoever) and The Hundred money is crucial, but after membership, tickets and sponsorship there is not much else. And, as we know, cricket clubs are faced with the problem of a major capital asset that can only yield an income for a very short period in the year. While smaller county clubs might return a modest surplus (Derbyshire, for example, play a couple of games in a public park), Test venue grounds seem to have very shaky financial footings. The income streams from cricket grounds, as cricket grounds, always seems inadequate.
One solution would be to sell the Club (if there was a buyer) and members might have the chance to become shareholders, or simply buy a ticket for the match as you would for the theatre. I don’t know enough about the arrangements at Durham, Hampshire and Northants (perhaps a Googlies reader could enlighten?) but the Board took the view (correctly) that the members would not be too pleased if they sold the place, and Mr Graves has given assurances that that will not happen, although, (rather chillingly) that: “Nothing can be ruled out in future”. He was not in a position to elaborate however, since, as he pointed out in his short address, the EGM decision (88.3% of the 845 votes in favour) had yet to be ratified. We would be told at yet another General Meeting in the Spring.
The current Chair told the meeting that “every avenue hade been explored” (amounting to some 350 financial institutions worldwide) in seeking solutions to Yorkshire’s problem but it is not too difficult to see why there was little enthusiasm for lending Yorkshire money, and thus Mr Graves bid was:” the only one on the table”. In which case it was difficult to understand what the 11.7% who voted against were voting for…oblivion? Or perhaps they just didn’t believe what they were being told. Indeed, I sensed rather less warmth in the room towards Mr Graves this time round than before. On both occasions he came as saviour of the Club, but this time, for some, he brings unacceptable baggage. And what might that be? High-handedness in removing directors? Debatable financial motives? Chairmanship during the Rafiq years? None of the above. For the loyal, elderly, white, male Yorkshire members the real sin is….The Hundred.
Rather more serious, I should have thought, is how the decision might go down with the Asian-heritage cricket community. We shall see. Graves repeated his apology about previous statements and wanted to “leave the past behind us”. But, as Marx pointed out, that is not always that easy to do.
The “Eighteenth Brumaire” was a date in the French revolutionary calendar (9th November), so we are a little late, and in truth Mr Graves is a somewhat unlikely Louis Napoleon, but in a year Louis had his coronation and if Colin Graves can save Yorkshire, the members would settle for little less.
This & That
January has been a good month for daytime TV cricket watching. The second and third biggest competitions (after the IPL) in world cricket have been running concurrently. I don’t get up to watch the Big Bash live but there are generous opportunities to watch the highlights. The SA20 is in its second season, and it has attracted many of the top world players to augment its own talent and, in particular, the English. This is exemplified by the third match in which Jason Roy and Joss Buttler opened for the Paarl Royals and Phil Salt and Will Jacks opened for their opponents, the Pretoria Capitals.
In Match 4 Rassie van der Dussen (104) and Ryan Rickleton (98) added 200 for the first wicket for MI Cape Town against the Joburg Super Kings. Rickleton has been the star of this competition with over 400 runs. Compare this with the Joburg Super Kings for whom only Leuus du Plooy of Middlesex had scored over 100 runs.
Maybe it’s because I’m a short arse but it has struck me that there are some truly enormous men playing in this competition. In addition to the tall skinny ones like Reece Topley and Marcus Jansen there are some very big boys who you wouldn’t want to have sitting in the seat next to you on the plane – Nandre Burger. Romario Shepherd, Obed McCoy, Lungi Ngidi, Hardus Viljoen and of course Kieron Pollard.
In Match 5 between the Detroit Super Giants and Sunrisers Eastern Cape there were 24 sixes hit led by JJ Smuts who hit 7. In Match 8 Jordan Herrman scored 106 not out for the Sunrisers. In Match 10 Phil Salt was out in the in the final over of the Powerplay with the sore on a staggering 75. His partner, Will Jacks went on to 101 reaching his hundred in just 41 balls in an innings which included nine sixes.
In match 15 Phil Salt and Will Jacks top scored for the Pretoria Capitals but they only scored 12 and 10 respectively as their side was bundled out for 52 in just 13.3 overs. Jason Roy hit Kagiso Rabada for five sixes in eight balls, whilst Viljoen managed four wides in what became a ten ball over.
MI Capetown Capitals made a huge 248 for 4 in an innings which included a record 20 sixes against the Pretoria Capitals who slumped to 139 for 8 in reply before Kyle Verreynne (116 not out) was joined by Adil Rashid and they were there at the close taking the score to a respectable, albeit losing, 214 for 8.
When the Sunrisers Eastern Cape played at Paarl and chose to bat first the commentators, including Stuart Broad, Mark Butcher, Ashwell Prince and Vernon Philander, unanimously agreed that it was a difficult pitch to bat on and that 140, maybe 150, would be a good score. As is so often the case the state of the pitch counts for nothing when the intent to score prevails. Marco Jansen gave a repeat performance of his destruction of the England bowlers in making 71 from 31 balls as the Sunrisers scored 89 from the last five overs which included 66 from the final three as they reached 208 for 4. Jansen so intimidated the experienced test bowler Lungi Ngidi that he bowled five wides in the final over making it an eleven ball over. Ngidi was fortunate that two of his wides landed off the strip and so should have been given as No Balls which would have qualified the next ball a free hit which would have made matters worse.
Imran Tahir is playing in the SA20 at the advanced age of 44 and is still causing problems to the batters who face him. But he is just a junior compared to Russ Collins’ chum, Benyon-Windsor, who turned out for his XI in the Bush cricket week in 1969 at the tender age of 72.
Meanwhile in the Big Bash the star of the competition was Laurie Evans who repeatedly rescued the Perth Scorchers with exceptional demonstrations of clean hitting including four 4s and 2 sixes in one over. Against the Adelaide Strikers he made 85 not out from just 28 balls. He kept his side in the hunt for the title until he had to leave to fulfil other franchise commitments and they were promptly knocked out in the Qualifier. Evans is an itinerant cricketer who has found his way back to Surrey via Sussex and Warwickshire but has never excelled in his home country as well as he has abroad.
In the Play-off Match Josh Brown scored 140 from 57 balls for the Brisbane Heat who went on to win the match and the final.
More proof that it is becoming even more of a batsman’s game. Essex man, Paul Walter, has been playing in the Big Bash somewhat surprisingly more as a bowler than as a batsman. When he bowled the last ball of the innings to Nick Hobson, the batsman took a large swing and the ball cannoned off his leg and onto the stumps. The heavyweight flashing bails failed to dislodge and Hobson remained not out.
My scepticism over the new range of shots on display will certainly not stop them from being played, but it seems that they often lead to a dismissal. When executed well they can be breathtaking but when poorly by the batsman he just looks foolish. But that is the way in the modern game where unlimited license is given to batsmen to “go out and express themselves”.
Less forgivable are the clown antics employed by many modern wicketkeepers. I saw Jordan Cox keeping and instead of going behind the stumps to collect a regulation return to him for a run out went in front and to the side. He then flapped at the ball with one hand in an attempt, presumably, to re-direct the ball onto the stumps from behind his back. The ball inevitably missed and the batsmen, who was still ten yards short, was able to trot into his ground. And then I saw Phil Salt do something similar…
In the T20 between India and Afghanistan India found themselves 22 for 4 before Rohit (121 not out) was joined by Rinky Dink (69 not out) who added 190 and enabled the hosts to reach 212. But Afghanistan matched this total which took the match to a Super Over. The first was tied and so a second was required which ended prematurely when Afghanistan lost a second wicket which gave the match to India.
In New Zealand’s T20 match against Pakistan Finn Allen scored 137 from 62 balls in an innings which included a record16 sixes and 5 fours.
In a test match against South Africa India had reached 153 for 4 before slumping to 153 all out. They lost six wickets in 11 balls without adding a run.
Mason Greenwood, the disgraced Manchester United forward on loan to Getafe, was dismissed after the referee took exception to his verbal abuse. This was unfortunate since his teammate Latasa had already been dismissed earlier in the game. Things got even worse when they went down to eight men when Suarez was also sent off.
Thompson Matters
Steve relates what happened when his mates re-united
Following the infamous ‘incident’ at the end of the Quiz Night in September our indefinite ban from the Bat and Ball was ‘reluctantly’ lifted by Mike the Landlord thereby allowing Brian, Sachin, Virat and me to enter “One Ball Left” into the “End of ‘23 Quiz of the Year” on New Year’s Eve. “One ball left” was, but for Mike’s incompetence with a cricket bat, almost a painfully accurate description of Virat’s nether regions on that fateful night, Mike having wrenched the Gunn and Moore All Indian Touring team (1925) signed length of willow from its plinth above the snug bar in order to, “teach that arrogant bastard a lesson”. That Virat’s undercarriage remains intact is due largely to Brian’s diplomatic skills although even he must have balked at telling Mike he had the potential to open the batting for the Licensed Victuallers’ XI.
Virat insists that Mike’s climb-down was as a direct result of his threat to post a one-star Trip Advisor for the pub headed, ‘Shite Pub, Shite Pies, Shite Landlord’. Brian however is equally sure it was because Mike, an avid follower of Tim “Spoons” Martin on X/Twitter, had fallen hook line and sinker for the sunny uplands move of ordering five hundred canned pints of English Prosecco; none of which had been consumed by the locals since their arrival before Christmas. Whatever the reason, Mike had given in and was allowing us back only on the understanding that Virat would drink five cans of it a night every day for a month in what the latter was now calling Wet January.
I suspect the real reason for our return was that without us the Bat and Ball Pub Cricket team would be short of batting, bowling and teas; Virat’s mum’s Punjabi pies were legend on the local circuit.
That incident had prompted an official complaint from the ladies’ golf quiz team, “No balls Left”, who insisted that if they attended they would refuse to sit within three tables of Virat.
Normally with only four teams this would have been difficult but as it happened there was a larger than usual turnout which made it possible for three quiz teams to provide the necessary buffer. “Stop the Goats” (a team of herders from out in the sticks, “Rags to Rishis”, a father and sons recycling company and donors to the local Con Club and “Not Turning in Our Graves” a team of Yorkshire County Cricket Club members who were on a cycling holiday and found themselves in the village for New Year. Things almost took a turn for the worse when Virat, already three pints of fizz in, referred to them as the “Tykes on Bikes” and made things even worse by immediately holding his hands up shouting, ‘Bants, bants’!
Sachin immediately stepped in unconvincingly pronouncing that he was an honorary Yorkie having been on holiday there, ‘fowart fortneet’ when he was younger whilst Brian and I ushered Virat out of earshot as he mustered up his inner Cleverly with an ill-judged Barnsley-related expletive.
On our return, things had settled down sufficiently for Mike to begin the quiz. This passed off without too many arguments between us despite Virat’s now increasingly slurred assurance that it was Wyatt Earp who was BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
Initially the four members of “Not Turning in Our Graves” weren’t up for much of a post-Quiz chat about the situation at their club but since Virat was now lying comatose underneath the dartboard, having sunk almost twice his daily allocation of Mike’s ‘error of judgement’ I felt emboldened to poke the bear a little.
“It wasn’t a proper apology from Colin was it boys? It was one of those ‘I’m sorry if you took offence at what I said,’ kind of non-apologies. I mean, ‘....I sympathise with those who regard my comments as dismissive and uncaring,’ is like saying if you don’t like it, tough, but that’s the way it is here at Yorkshire.”
They were less than impressed when I described their club as having been between a rock and a hard place. After all, The Slazenger Headingley Stadium doesn’t quite do it does it? Okay maybe decades ago when Sir Leonard and Sir Geoffrey (oh - perhaps he’s contextually not the best example) and even that great Yorkie Sachin sported the famous green Slazenger ‘V’ on their bats, but not now. Not now that Ashley has done for the brand what the Chavs did for Burberry back in the days when Boycs was hitting it in the ‘V’ with his ‘V500.
‘We don’t even use Slazenger golf balls since Seve passed away - he loved them, bless him,’ interjected a suddenly tearful Janet from “No Balls Left” as she struggled to leave whilst carrying Mike’s runner-up prize of five gallons of Prosecco.
Yes, an Ashley takeover would have been a hard place but surely the Scarborough rock (they didn’t laugh) was arguably just as bad. Thank goodness he’d sold up otherwise Graves might have thought the Costcutter Headingley Stadium would have appealed to supposed Yorkshire frugality. They didn’t laugh.
It just goes to show, I said, to seemingly deaf ears, just how important the ‘brand’ is and how easily it can be tarnished. They didn’t get it. Were they going to the EGM on the 2nd February? Of course they were.
Just as they were leaving, Virat suddenly but momentarily woke from his drunken slumber.
‘Shorry boys, it was only bants.’
They didn’t laugh.
Book Reviews
The Professor supplied me with copies of his recent correspondence with Douglas Miller
Douglas:
With so little cricket in the latest edition of Googlies I must congratulate you on continuing to keep up the standards while others resort to the deficiencies of lower division football teams or the foibles of obscure club cricketers of whom I have seldom heard. What really intrigued me was the mental image of Father Christmas down at the charity shop and blowing the dust off Tatenda Taibu’s book.
Taibu’s book doesn’t stick in the memory as one the more outstanding in a list of those I have reviewed that now exceeds a hundred. I am quite sure I found a new home for it when we moved five years ago. I spotted the Broad book in the local library and snatched it eagerly. It proved to be one he had ‘written’ in 2018! I now have the task of airing my views on the new book on Frank Worrell. It comes after an unbelievably bad book on Alan Dixon and one on Majid Khan of which I wrote that ‘three-quarters of it could have been written by a monk in a cell with access only to Wisden or Cricket Archive.’ Count yourself lucky that Father Christmas, to whom I send my best wishes, was not attracted to either of these titles.
John Adams:
I trust you are keeping well and looking forward to the waters receding and cricket pitches becoming visible again. Your review of the Taibu book is a good deal more sympathetic than my rather off-hand dismissal in part, I guess, because we were obviously doing different things...and of course, because of your more sympathetic and kindly disposition.
There is, however, still the question of why so many of these books are so bad. Clearly the object is to make money, and presumably the publishers think that almost anything with a well-known cricketer on the cover will sell a few copies at Christmas. But what a lost opportunity. We know that not everyone can write like James but if you don't intend to make a decent fist of it, why bother?
You don't say whether you had read the Broad book that you snatched in the library, but if so, how many cliches did you count? Why don't people who write for a living think up their own phrases?
As for the "written by a monk in a cell" bit, we had a go in Googlies (many years' ago) at writing a report of a match we hadn't seen but for which we had the scorecard. It's extremely easy, of course: "Root jogs down the pavilion steps and onto the field of play, doing a characteristic couple of sidesteps to left and right and then compiles a workmanlike 50 full of trademark late cuts and works into the leg side...." etc. I was once (some 40 years' ago) at the Canterbury ground, sitting next to the Press Box, when the Torygraph correspondent, Ratnagar (?... some such name) arrived about an hour late. He had missed a few wickets and so the following day I bought a copy of the loathsome rag (wearing gloves of course) to see what he had written. And there it was, a clear description of the first hour of play. On that basis, I suppose you can write a biography from inside a cell, assuming you can find one with wi-fi.
The Father Christmas who delivered these books was not, as I suspect you were thinking, Mrs A, (who sends you her love by-the-way), but my sister-in-law who I think did the equivalent of "snatching" in the local bookshop...good of her to buy me anything of course.
Douglas:
In the past few years there have been some outstandingly good books, though not many, I suspect, would be ghosted autobiographies. ‘Being Geoffrey Boycott’ was a different approach that I thought was very good. The book on Wes Hall is also very good as was David Woodhouse’s return to the West Indies tour of 1953-4, a trip of which I have heard much at first hand from the lips of the manager Charles Palmer. Mark Peel has written a couple of decent biographies in the past year – on Ray Illingworth and Roy Gilchrist. He is churning them out for less reward than he had grown used to 20 years ago.
There will only be money from a small number of books linked to a big name. The other books are much more labours of love, many of which will have left the authors seriously out of pocket.
I have also been uncomplimentary to a book by David Battersby, the one on Majid Khan, of which I know that only 156 copies were available for sale. This is a high number for this author, another private publisher with no editor, who more normally prints about 80. David Frith has been too kind to this book in The Cricketer. I chatted to him on the telephone and I think he was praising the endeavour rather than the book. David is getting rather soft in his old age!
I struggle to think how Taibu’s story will have brought much money to anyone. That it was still sitting on some book shop shelf five years after publication is consistent with this thought. There are some rogues trying to exploit the limited-edition business – and I am aware of burnt fingers in the process.
I skip read the ‘wrong’ Broad book. It was a par for the course job, as far as I can remember. I agree that ghosts can specialise in a certain turn of phrase that seems alien to the man whose voice they are supposed to be adopting. I may be wrong but I would have thought the heyday of such books was 50 years ago. Perhaps I am spared having to read today’s output.
What you say of authors writing about matches they have never seen has a new dimension these days as past Test matches can be revisited and watched on a ball-by-ball basis.
John Adams:
Interesting stuff Douglas - I suppose a “conversational” book would read a little more like a novel. I don’t know the literature, but when you write: “Many cricket books look through a prism that give a pre-eminence to England and Australia”, would that be true of cricket books published in India, Pakistan, etc., or are you being Anglo (sic) focussed?
Judith often asking me (rhetorically) why we have so many books and what we would do with them if we moved. I only have a couple of hundred cricket books (excluding Wisdens) but I think I could readily leave most of them behind. I never, tellingly, take them off the shelves or re-read them. Exceptions might be James Gibson’s book on England cricket captains…and the collected volumes of Googlies and Chinamen, of course.
Douglas:
I am replaying the observation/complaint of the Indian authors in their book – and it rings true with me. Apparently, there is no book on or by Muralitharan. Compare this with Warne, Trueman etc. India have a few people obsessed with obscure statistics but not much literature. Great writers? Ramachandra Guha? Certainly. Rahul Bhattacharya? Yes. But who then? Mihir Bose? DJ Rutnagur? It’s a thin list to set against the Australians.
What do you do with your collection? Good question. So many readers are moving to smaller homes or dying and the younger generation will not be rushing to buy. John Mackenzie may give you £100 for what you think is worth £500 if you cart them to his shop. The charity shops are not short. I am better off for thinning down to those I might occasionally refer to. I gave a run of modern Wisdens to a youngster I had proposed for MCC. I got about £250 for a run from 1948 to about 1964. The buyer was generous.
I very occasionally re-read some of the best books; the last of this kind was David Foot’s book on Hammond. I occasionally check on what someone like Boycott thought of something that occurred in his life. Judith will not be alone in posing her question. You will not be alone in having no convincing answer.
Keep reading.
Barnet Matters
In the modern era most fielders wear a cap to field. But Fabian Allen, who has been featuring in the SA20, chooses instead to go hatless. He is a West Indian who has had the sides of his head shaved and then dyed the remaining top and rear running down to a point at the back an exciting fuschia pink. From the back he looks like a model for the Stones’ Lips album cover.
Sam Curran has dyed his hair blond and looks like a custard cream.
Barbers and Coiffurists in East London are excited at the arrival of Calvin Phillips at West Ham, whilst the Fulham fullback Antonee Robinson, who has naturally curly hair, has dyed it blond and could now pass for Shirley Temple.
Old Danes Gathering
We are planning to hold another bi-annual Old Danes Gathering this summer. Full details will be included in the next edition.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
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James Sharp
Broad Lee House
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 254
February 2024
Spot the Ball
Out & About with the Professor
The Professor reports on his annual visit
It was in the “Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Napoleon” that Marx authored the much-misquoted observation that history repeats itself: “the first time as tragedy, the second as farce”. (Marx had in his sights Napoleon’s nephew, Louis, who had just staged a coup d’état in 1851: “a grotesque mediocrity to play a hero’s part”.) It is just possible that the good folk who gathered in the Headingley Long Room on Friday for the latest of Yorkshire’s EGM’s (estimates differed in the room as to how many we had had in the past two years: 3?, 5?, double figures?) did not have the words of a long-dead German philosopher in their minds…but we all knew we had been here before. We were all assembled to witness the second coming of Chairman Graves.
“Colin” (we are all friends here) had already, of course, had one spell as Yorkshire Chairman, when a personal loan of £14 million had saved the club from immediate bankruptcy. Indeed the story (which I have on impeccable authority) was that Yorkshire’s bank would have started insolvency proceedings some weeks’ before had not the local bank manager been a member. That the Club was in need of such a sizeable loan was, as can be imagined, the subject of considerable debate; but it was all in the past, Colin was at the helm, and we were due to take our place as one of “the most famous clubs in the world”.
12 years on and we were £22million in debt and one of the most infamous clubs in the world.
In between, three important things happened. The first was financial; the conversion of the Colin Graves loan into a commitment to an independent trust so that Graves could pursue his ambition to be Chair of the ECB. The independent trust is called the “Colin Graves Trust” and is now seeking part repayment in accordance with the conditions of the loan. The second was the rebuilding of the South Stand which is, indeed, a vast improvement in the appearance and functioning of the ground…and the third was Rafiq. This third important thing is often personified as the “Rafiq issue”, the (barely unspoken) implication being that the problem was the whistleblower not the racism - the victim was the culprit. Indeed, I have heard past Board members declare that there never was, nor ever has been, a problem of racism in the Club, notwithstanding the ECB’s findings. Denial is very popular. Colin Graves seemed to support that view with his reference to a “bit of banter” but that has since been rescinded with an acknowledgement of past mistakes in a statement that one hopes is genuine but, as someone next to me said, does have the feel of being drafted by a PR department.
The Graves offer is hard to refuse (not least because it is the only one) and consists of: £1million now (in effect to pay the wages) and £4million in the near future, dependent upon the members agreeing to Mr Graves returning as Chair together with three hand-picked directors, and eight existing directors leaving the Board. The £4million is needed in part repayment of the loan held by the Colin Graves Trust. Presumably over time something similar will happen to future repayments and the Colin Graves Trust will be dissolved with all the debt held by, er, Colin Graves.
Unless of course the finances can be transformed in the next few years. There were (unspecified) “exciting new income streams” in the offing which would help Mr Graves succeed in his manifesto commitment to: “Make YCCC great again” (no, really). It is difficult to see what they might be. Indeed, it is difficult to see what the financial future of any of the major cricket grounds might be - excepting Lord’s and the Oval. Yorkshire have no Test in 2024 and sponsorship and membership have been severely affected by the “Rafiq issue”. Sky (or whoever) and The Hundred money is crucial, but after membership, tickets and sponsorship there is not much else. And, as we know, cricket clubs are faced with the problem of a major capital asset that can only yield an income for a very short period in the year. While smaller county clubs might return a modest surplus (Derbyshire, for example, play a couple of games in a public park), Test venue grounds seem to have very shaky financial footings. The income streams from cricket grounds, as cricket grounds, always seems inadequate.
One solution would be to sell the Club (if there was a buyer) and members might have the chance to become shareholders, or simply buy a ticket for the match as you would for the theatre. I don’t know enough about the arrangements at Durham, Hampshire and Northants (perhaps a Googlies reader could enlighten?) but the Board took the view (correctly) that the members would not be too pleased if they sold the place, and Mr Graves has given assurances that that will not happen, although, (rather chillingly) that: “Nothing can be ruled out in future”. He was not in a position to elaborate however, since, as he pointed out in his short address, the EGM decision (88.3% of the 845 votes in favour) had yet to be ratified. We would be told at yet another General Meeting in the Spring.
The current Chair told the meeting that “every avenue hade been explored” (amounting to some 350 financial institutions worldwide) in seeking solutions to Yorkshire’s problem but it is not too difficult to see why there was little enthusiasm for lending Yorkshire money, and thus Mr Graves bid was:” the only one on the table”. In which case it was difficult to understand what the 11.7% who voted against were voting for…oblivion? Or perhaps they just didn’t believe what they were being told. Indeed, I sensed rather less warmth in the room towards Mr Graves this time round than before. On both occasions he came as saviour of the Club, but this time, for some, he brings unacceptable baggage. And what might that be? High-handedness in removing directors? Debatable financial motives? Chairmanship during the Rafiq years? None of the above. For the loyal, elderly, white, male Yorkshire members the real sin is….The Hundred.
Rather more serious, I should have thought, is how the decision might go down with the Asian-heritage cricket community. We shall see. Graves repeated his apology about previous statements and wanted to “leave the past behind us”. But, as Marx pointed out, that is not always that easy to do.
The “Eighteenth Brumaire” was a date in the French revolutionary calendar (9th November), so we are a little late, and in truth Mr Graves is a somewhat unlikely Louis Napoleon, but in a year Louis had his coronation and if Colin Graves can save Yorkshire, the members would settle for little less.
This & That
January has been a good month for daytime TV cricket watching. The second and third biggest competitions (after the IPL) in world cricket have been running concurrently. I don’t get up to watch the Big Bash live but there are generous opportunities to watch the highlights. The SA20 is in its second season, and it has attracted many of the top world players to augment its own talent and, in particular, the English. This is exemplified by the third match in which Jason Roy and Joss Buttler opened for the Paarl Royals and Phil Salt and Will Jacks opened for their opponents, the Pretoria Capitals.
In Match 4 Rassie van der Dussen (104) and Ryan Rickleton (98) added 200 for the first wicket for MI Cape Town against the Joburg Super Kings. Rickleton has been the star of this competition with over 400 runs. Compare this with the Joburg Super Kings for whom only Leuus du Plooy of Middlesex had scored over 100 runs.
Maybe it’s because I’m a short arse but it has struck me that there are some truly enormous men playing in this competition. In addition to the tall skinny ones like Reece Topley and Marcus Jansen there are some very big boys who you wouldn’t want to have sitting in the seat next to you on the plane – Nandre Burger. Romario Shepherd, Obed McCoy, Lungi Ngidi, Hardus Viljoen and of course Kieron Pollard.
In Match 5 between the Detroit Super Giants and Sunrisers Eastern Cape there were 24 sixes hit led by JJ Smuts who hit 7. In Match 8 Jordan Herrman scored 106 not out for the Sunrisers. In Match 10 Phil Salt was out in the in the final over of the Powerplay with the sore on a staggering 75. His partner, Will Jacks went on to 101 reaching his hundred in just 41 balls in an innings which included nine sixes.
In match 15 Phil Salt and Will Jacks top scored for the Pretoria Capitals but they only scored 12 and 10 respectively as their side was bundled out for 52 in just 13.3 overs. Jason Roy hit Kagiso Rabada for five sixes in eight balls, whilst Viljoen managed four wides in what became a ten ball over.
MI Capetown Capitals made a huge 248 for 4 in an innings which included a record 20 sixes against the Pretoria Capitals who slumped to 139 for 8 in reply before Kyle Verreynne (116 not out) was joined by Adil Rashid and they were there at the close taking the score to a respectable, albeit losing, 214 for 8.
When the Sunrisers Eastern Cape played at Paarl and chose to bat first the commentators, including Stuart Broad, Mark Butcher, Ashwell Prince and Vernon Philander, unanimously agreed that it was a difficult pitch to bat on and that 140, maybe 150, would be a good score. As is so often the case the state of the pitch counts for nothing when the intent to score prevails. Marco Jansen gave a repeat performance of his destruction of the England bowlers in making 71 from 31 balls as the Sunrisers scored 89 from the last five overs which included 66 from the final three as they reached 208 for 4. Jansen so intimidated the experienced test bowler Lungi Ngidi that he bowled five wides in the final over making it an eleven ball over. Ngidi was fortunate that two of his wides landed off the strip and so should have been given as No Balls which would have qualified the next ball a free hit which would have made matters worse.
Imran Tahir is playing in the SA20 at the advanced age of 44 and is still causing problems to the batters who face him. But he is just a junior compared to Russ Collins’ chum, Benyon-Windsor, who turned out for his XI in the Bush cricket week in 1969 at the tender age of 72.
Meanwhile in the Big Bash the star of the competition was Laurie Evans who repeatedly rescued the Perth Scorchers with exceptional demonstrations of clean hitting including four 4s and 2 sixes in one over. Against the Adelaide Strikers he made 85 not out from just 28 balls. He kept his side in the hunt for the title until he had to leave to fulfil other franchise commitments and they were promptly knocked out in the Qualifier. Evans is an itinerant cricketer who has found his way back to Surrey via Sussex and Warwickshire but has never excelled in his home country as well as he has abroad.
In the Play-off Match Josh Brown scored 140 from 57 balls for the Brisbane Heat who went on to win the match and the final.
More proof that it is becoming even more of a batsman’s game. Essex man, Paul Walter, has been playing in the Big Bash somewhat surprisingly more as a bowler than as a batsman. When he bowled the last ball of the innings to Nick Hobson, the batsman took a large swing and the ball cannoned off his leg and onto the stumps. The heavyweight flashing bails failed to dislodge and Hobson remained not out.
My scepticism over the new range of shots on display will certainly not stop them from being played, but it seems that they often lead to a dismissal. When executed well they can be breathtaking but when poorly by the batsman he just looks foolish. But that is the way in the modern game where unlimited license is given to batsmen to “go out and express themselves”.
Less forgivable are the clown antics employed by many modern wicketkeepers. I saw Jordan Cox keeping and instead of going behind the stumps to collect a regulation return to him for a run out went in front and to the side. He then flapped at the ball with one hand in an attempt, presumably, to re-direct the ball onto the stumps from behind his back. The ball inevitably missed and the batsmen, who was still ten yards short, was able to trot into his ground. And then I saw Phil Salt do something similar…
In the T20 between India and Afghanistan India found themselves 22 for 4 before Rohit (121 not out) was joined by Rinky Dink (69 not out) who added 190 and enabled the hosts to reach 212. But Afghanistan matched this total which took the match to a Super Over. The first was tied and so a second was required which ended prematurely when Afghanistan lost a second wicket which gave the match to India.
In New Zealand’s T20 match against Pakistan Finn Allen scored 137 from 62 balls in an innings which included a record16 sixes and 5 fours.
In a test match against South Africa India had reached 153 for 4 before slumping to 153 all out. They lost six wickets in 11 balls without adding a run.
Mason Greenwood, the disgraced Manchester United forward on loan to Getafe, was dismissed after the referee took exception to his verbal abuse. This was unfortunate since his teammate Latasa had already been dismissed earlier in the game. Things got even worse when they went down to eight men when Suarez was also sent off.
Thompson Matters
Steve relates what happened when his mates re-united
Following the infamous ‘incident’ at the end of the Quiz Night in September our indefinite ban from the Bat and Ball was ‘reluctantly’ lifted by Mike the Landlord thereby allowing Brian, Sachin, Virat and me to enter “One Ball Left” into the “End of ‘23 Quiz of the Year” on New Year’s Eve. “One ball left” was, but for Mike’s incompetence with a cricket bat, almost a painfully accurate description of Virat’s nether regions on that fateful night, Mike having wrenched the Gunn and Moore All Indian Touring team (1925) signed length of willow from its plinth above the snug bar in order to, “teach that arrogant bastard a lesson”. That Virat’s undercarriage remains intact is due largely to Brian’s diplomatic skills although even he must have balked at telling Mike he had the potential to open the batting for the Licensed Victuallers’ XI.
Virat insists that Mike’s climb-down was as a direct result of his threat to post a one-star Trip Advisor for the pub headed, ‘Shite Pub, Shite Pies, Shite Landlord’. Brian however is equally sure it was because Mike, an avid follower of Tim “Spoons” Martin on X/Twitter, had fallen hook line and sinker for the sunny uplands move of ordering five hundred canned pints of English Prosecco; none of which had been consumed by the locals since their arrival before Christmas. Whatever the reason, Mike had given in and was allowing us back only on the understanding that Virat would drink five cans of it a night every day for a month in what the latter was now calling Wet January.
I suspect the real reason for our return was that without us the Bat and Ball Pub Cricket team would be short of batting, bowling and teas; Virat’s mum’s Punjabi pies were legend on the local circuit.
That incident had prompted an official complaint from the ladies’ golf quiz team, “No balls Left”, who insisted that if they attended they would refuse to sit within three tables of Virat.
Normally with only four teams this would have been difficult but as it happened there was a larger than usual turnout which made it possible for three quiz teams to provide the necessary buffer. “Stop the Goats” (a team of herders from out in the sticks, “Rags to Rishis”, a father and sons recycling company and donors to the local Con Club and “Not Turning in Our Graves” a team of Yorkshire County Cricket Club members who were on a cycling holiday and found themselves in the village for New Year. Things almost took a turn for the worse when Virat, already three pints of fizz in, referred to them as the “Tykes on Bikes” and made things even worse by immediately holding his hands up shouting, ‘Bants, bants’!
Sachin immediately stepped in unconvincingly pronouncing that he was an honorary Yorkie having been on holiday there, ‘fowart fortneet’ when he was younger whilst Brian and I ushered Virat out of earshot as he mustered up his inner Cleverly with an ill-judged Barnsley-related expletive.
On our return, things had settled down sufficiently for Mike to begin the quiz. This passed off without too many arguments between us despite Virat’s now increasingly slurred assurance that it was Wyatt Earp who was BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
Initially the four members of “Not Turning in Our Graves” weren’t up for much of a post-Quiz chat about the situation at their club but since Virat was now lying comatose underneath the dartboard, having sunk almost twice his daily allocation of Mike’s ‘error of judgement’ I felt emboldened to poke the bear a little.
“It wasn’t a proper apology from Colin was it boys? It was one of those ‘I’m sorry if you took offence at what I said,’ kind of non-apologies. I mean, ‘....I sympathise with those who regard my comments as dismissive and uncaring,’ is like saying if you don’t like it, tough, but that’s the way it is here at Yorkshire.”
They were less than impressed when I described their club as having been between a rock and a hard place. After all, The Slazenger Headingley Stadium doesn’t quite do it does it? Okay maybe decades ago when Sir Leonard and Sir Geoffrey (oh - perhaps he’s contextually not the best example) and even that great Yorkie Sachin sported the famous green Slazenger ‘V’ on their bats, but not now. Not now that Ashley has done for the brand what the Chavs did for Burberry back in the days when Boycs was hitting it in the ‘V’ with his ‘V500.
‘We don’t even use Slazenger golf balls since Seve passed away - he loved them, bless him,’ interjected a suddenly tearful Janet from “No Balls Left” as she struggled to leave whilst carrying Mike’s runner-up prize of five gallons of Prosecco.
Yes, an Ashley takeover would have been a hard place but surely the Scarborough rock (they didn’t laugh) was arguably just as bad. Thank goodness he’d sold up otherwise Graves might have thought the Costcutter Headingley Stadium would have appealed to supposed Yorkshire frugality. They didn’t laugh.
It just goes to show, I said, to seemingly deaf ears, just how important the ‘brand’ is and how easily it can be tarnished. They didn’t get it. Were they going to the EGM on the 2nd February? Of course they were.
Just as they were leaving, Virat suddenly but momentarily woke from his drunken slumber.
‘Shorry boys, it was only bants.’
They didn’t laugh.
Book Reviews
The Professor supplied me with copies of his recent correspondence with Douglas Miller
Douglas:
With so little cricket in the latest edition of Googlies I must congratulate you on continuing to keep up the standards while others resort to the deficiencies of lower division football teams or the foibles of obscure club cricketers of whom I have seldom heard. What really intrigued me was the mental image of Father Christmas down at the charity shop and blowing the dust off Tatenda Taibu’s book.
Taibu’s book doesn’t stick in the memory as one the more outstanding in a list of those I have reviewed that now exceeds a hundred. I am quite sure I found a new home for it when we moved five years ago. I spotted the Broad book in the local library and snatched it eagerly. It proved to be one he had ‘written’ in 2018! I now have the task of airing my views on the new book on Frank Worrell. It comes after an unbelievably bad book on Alan Dixon and one on Majid Khan of which I wrote that ‘three-quarters of it could have been written by a monk in a cell with access only to Wisden or Cricket Archive.’ Count yourself lucky that Father Christmas, to whom I send my best wishes, was not attracted to either of these titles.
John Adams:
I trust you are keeping well and looking forward to the waters receding and cricket pitches becoming visible again. Your review of the Taibu book is a good deal more sympathetic than my rather off-hand dismissal in part, I guess, because we were obviously doing different things...and of course, because of your more sympathetic and kindly disposition.
There is, however, still the question of why so many of these books are so bad. Clearly the object is to make money, and presumably the publishers think that almost anything with a well-known cricketer on the cover will sell a few copies at Christmas. But what a lost opportunity. We know that not everyone can write like James but if you don't intend to make a decent fist of it, why bother?
You don't say whether you had read the Broad book that you snatched in the library, but if so, how many cliches did you count? Why don't people who write for a living think up their own phrases?
As for the "written by a monk in a cell" bit, we had a go in Googlies (many years' ago) at writing a report of a match we hadn't seen but for which we had the scorecard. It's extremely easy, of course: "Root jogs down the pavilion steps and onto the field of play, doing a characteristic couple of sidesteps to left and right and then compiles a workmanlike 50 full of trademark late cuts and works into the leg side...." etc. I was once (some 40 years' ago) at the Canterbury ground, sitting next to the Press Box, when the Torygraph correspondent, Ratnagar (?... some such name) arrived about an hour late. He had missed a few wickets and so the following day I bought a copy of the loathsome rag (wearing gloves of course) to see what he had written. And there it was, a clear description of the first hour of play. On that basis, I suppose you can write a biography from inside a cell, assuming you can find one with wi-fi.
The Father Christmas who delivered these books was not, as I suspect you were thinking, Mrs A, (who sends you her love by-the-way), but my sister-in-law who I think did the equivalent of "snatching" in the local bookshop...good of her to buy me anything of course.
Douglas:
In the past few years there have been some outstandingly good books, though not many, I suspect, would be ghosted autobiographies. ‘Being Geoffrey Boycott’ was a different approach that I thought was very good. The book on Wes Hall is also very good as was David Woodhouse’s return to the West Indies tour of 1953-4, a trip of which I have heard much at first hand from the lips of the manager Charles Palmer. Mark Peel has written a couple of decent biographies in the past year – on Ray Illingworth and Roy Gilchrist. He is churning them out for less reward than he had grown used to 20 years ago.
There will only be money from a small number of books linked to a big name. The other books are much more labours of love, many of which will have left the authors seriously out of pocket.
I have also been uncomplimentary to a book by David Battersby, the one on Majid Khan, of which I know that only 156 copies were available for sale. This is a high number for this author, another private publisher with no editor, who more normally prints about 80. David Frith has been too kind to this book in The Cricketer. I chatted to him on the telephone and I think he was praising the endeavour rather than the book. David is getting rather soft in his old age!
I struggle to think how Taibu’s story will have brought much money to anyone. That it was still sitting on some book shop shelf five years after publication is consistent with this thought. There are some rogues trying to exploit the limited-edition business – and I am aware of burnt fingers in the process.
I skip read the ‘wrong’ Broad book. It was a par for the course job, as far as I can remember. I agree that ghosts can specialise in a certain turn of phrase that seems alien to the man whose voice they are supposed to be adopting. I may be wrong but I would have thought the heyday of such books was 50 years ago. Perhaps I am spared having to read today’s output.
What you say of authors writing about matches they have never seen has a new dimension these days as past Test matches can be revisited and watched on a ball-by-ball basis.
John Adams:
Interesting stuff Douglas - I suppose a “conversational” book would read a little more like a novel. I don’t know the literature, but when you write: “Many cricket books look through a prism that give a pre-eminence to England and Australia”, would that be true of cricket books published in India, Pakistan, etc., or are you being Anglo (sic) focussed?
Judith often asking me (rhetorically) why we have so many books and what we would do with them if we moved. I only have a couple of hundred cricket books (excluding Wisdens) but I think I could readily leave most of them behind. I never, tellingly, take them off the shelves or re-read them. Exceptions might be James Gibson’s book on England cricket captains…and the collected volumes of Googlies and Chinamen, of course.
Douglas:
I am replaying the observation/complaint of the Indian authors in their book – and it rings true with me. Apparently, there is no book on or by Muralitharan. Compare this with Warne, Trueman etc. India have a few people obsessed with obscure statistics but not much literature. Great writers? Ramachandra Guha? Certainly. Rahul Bhattacharya? Yes. But who then? Mihir Bose? DJ Rutnagur? It’s a thin list to set against the Australians.
What do you do with your collection? Good question. So many readers are moving to smaller homes or dying and the younger generation will not be rushing to buy. John Mackenzie may give you £100 for what you think is worth £500 if you cart them to his shop. The charity shops are not short. I am better off for thinning down to those I might occasionally refer to. I gave a run of modern Wisdens to a youngster I had proposed for MCC. I got about £250 for a run from 1948 to about 1964. The buyer was generous.
I very occasionally re-read some of the best books; the last of this kind was David Foot’s book on Hammond. I occasionally check on what someone like Boycott thought of something that occurred in his life. Judith will not be alone in posing her question. You will not be alone in having no convincing answer.
Keep reading.
Barnet Matters
In the modern era most fielders wear a cap to field. But Fabian Allen, who has been featuring in the SA20, chooses instead to go hatless. He is a West Indian who has had the sides of his head shaved and then dyed the remaining top and rear running down to a point at the back an exciting fuschia pink. From the back he looks like a model for the Stones’ Lips album cover.
Sam Curran has dyed his hair blond and looks like a custard cream.
Barbers and Coiffurists in East London are excited at the arrival of Calvin Phillips at West Ham, whilst the Fulham fullback Antonee Robinson, who has naturally curly hair, has dyed it blond and could now pass for Shirley Temple.
Old Danes Gathering
We are planning to hold another bi-annual Old Danes Gathering this summer. Full details will be included in the next edition.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
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