GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 75
March 2009
Caption Competition
1. Andrew Strauss: Maybe I should have enforced the follow on after all. But my bowlers all said that they were tired. But that is a bit odd as they had only bowled eighty nine overs between them in a day. And anyway they have hardly bowled at all since Christmas. And before that some of them had bowled in India but even there the one day series was cut short. How can they be tired? They are all supposed to be fighting fit and they all look terrific in the tag rugby with a bean bag before play begins. Oh no, what have I let myself in for?
2. Priory: Bye lads. I’m back to the UK for paternity leave.
Harmy: Sorry skip I’m off now I’m feeling homesick
Cooky: I can’t play in the next test I have to go back to the UK for a funeral.
Belly: I won’t be there either; it’s my auntie’s birthday.
3. Andrew Strauss: Where are you off to Freddie?
Freddie Flintoff: The IPL
Andrew Strauss: But I thought you were injured?
Freddie Flintoff: I’m not that injured.
4. Sir Allan Stanford: Didn’t you play for Middlesex in my Super Series before Christmas.
Andrew Strauss: Oh, no. You must be mixing me up with someone else.
5. Peg Leg: Hi Straussy. Don’t forget I will be available for the Ashes.
Andrew Strauss: Doing what?
In the Dales with the Professor
We seem to have become part of Phil and Sue Sharpe's extended cricket family and so on Friday night found ourselves at their very attractive house in Wetherby. The dining room is full of memorabilia - paintings, clippings and a framed collection of Phil's England caps - it rather puts my poor collection of school cricket team photos in their place.
The event was a "pie and mushy peas supper" which is a revolting concoction but regarded with great affection by the natives around here. John Hampshire and Don Wilson were there but I found myself much of the time talking to Andrew Dalton who played for a couple of seasons in the early 1970s. I looked up his stats (of course) and he had a modest average but a best of 128* against Middlesex which is not too dusty (apparently he took a liking to the bowling of one K V Jones). Andrew played in the last season of Close's captaincy ("a great man") and the first of Boycott's ("the most disagreeable man you could ever meet"). Andrew was still a "colt" according to Wisden when he played for Yorkshire but just decided he could never devote his life to playing under Boycott and so gave up cricket altogether. He had lots else to say about cricket and Yorkshire as indeed did everyone else.
One of the difficulties of meeting these people is that you are never quite sure who you’re talking to - often it is someone who played for Yorkshire in the '60s who is now unrecognisable. Moreover they all know each other, and have done for 50 years. A good example is the conversation I got into with a chap called Hall about the famous 555 opening stand of Holmes and Sutcliffe. "Ah, I said, there's an interesting little book about that" and went on to tell Mr Hall (at some length) all about it, including the debate about the scorebook being one short because of a missing extra, and so on, and so on. "Yes", he said, politely, after listening to me giving him all this valuable information:"I got Stephen Chalke to write that".
"Oh! What was your motivation for doing that?"
"Well, I'm the Yorkshire CC archivist and have the original scorebook, and indeed have been through it several times looking for the famous extra leg-bye...Oh, and Percy Holmes was my schoolmaster".
You will be pleased to know I didn't tell John Hampshire how to bat or Phil where to position himself in the slips.
There were a few "jokes" told (or what passes for that in these parts). It is 100 years since the birth of the bellicose Bill Bowes (Definition of a Yorkshireman? "Born within the sound of Bill Bowes"). "Goughie" comes in for a lot of good humoured jollity - he is not regarded as a deep intellect and thus the story of an Atherton team talk (after yet another defeat) and the England boys being resolved to reverse their run of form. "Yes", said Darren, "we will rise like a pheasant from the ashes!" When corrected to "Phoenix", he is supposed to have said: "Ah yes, I knew it was a bird and it began with an "f"".
Wicket Keeping Matters
Wicket keeping purists will have been delighted that Ben Scott was added to the England Lions touring party to New Zealand. The Professor has long been a fan since he saw him standing up to Lance Klusener a few years back. After seeing him live and on TV quite a lot last season I rate him alongside James Foster as the best English keeper. The last time I saw Chris Read he was very untidy. But should the incumbent slap heads be worried? Well yes they should. Once the bowlers start reporting the difference it makes to have someone who knows what he is doing behind the stumps the selectors are bound to take note. “Ah”, you might say, “but Prior and Ambrose are really picked for their batting”. Well, Ben got plenty of chances with the bat at Middlesex last season and scored stacks of runs. Indeed in the first game on tour he scored an unbeaten fifty out of a relatively low total.
Old Uffs Matters
Allen Bruton sent me this:
The arrival of ten inches of snow in North Oxfordshire has caused me to be overtaken by a "Harry Rose Moment" and the need to correspond. This has been compounded by the appearance of the Old Uffs V Team of 1973 in the February Googlies. This photograph has stirred the following thoughts and memories, which I list below in no particular order.
1) Have you considered blackmailing Geoff Howe?
2) It must be unique for Alan May to appear in a team photograph. He rarely left the pub in time for kick off never mind a pre match photo.
3) It probably goes without saying that Ken James was captain of this side and inevitably managed to hide away a couple of very useful younger players immune from promotion to a higher side. Mick Barry, who appears in the photo, signed for Enfield when eventually escaping Ken's clutches. Goalkeeper, Dave Beasant, (England, Wimbledon, Chelsea, Newcastle etc.) was another member of the Fifth’s Team and I am sure that had he been available for the 1973 Final, Cordaroy would have been ditched.
4) Rather in the fashion of FA Cup Finalists appearing in their designer pre match outfits, it was always suspected that Ken had paid a visit to M & S, appearing very smartly dressed on the day. Sadly he was rather let down by the rest of us.
On a purely personal note I believe that I held the record of playing in every cup final that the Old Uffs ever reached. Whilst no great achievement in itself it is perhaps notable for the number of different levels which, in order of appearance, were 3RD.XI, 1ST.XI (two finals), 5TH.XI, 2ND.XI (1 plus 1 replay). The wide spread could indicate erratic selection or perhaps more accurately fluctuating levels of alcohol intake. Apologies that all this will mean very little to the vast majority of your readership, except of course reference to Ken James who is probably known to more people than Barack Obama.
Bush Matters
Another delve into the Bush Centenary brochure produced this photo of the victorious side which won the Ealing twenty over competition in 1974. It is somehow surprising that clubs were playing in these evening tournaments twenty five years before the concept was introduced into the professional game. There are many familiar faces in this line up including a very thin and fit looking Alf Langley.
Arthur Gates sent me the following photo from his personal collection. It was taken at a Bush pre season training camp in the early seventies and features the Great Jack Morgan, Arthur Gates and the future Mrs Revier. The headgear was not adopted as an on field alternative to club caps.
KP Matters
Barry Rickson sent me the following
Have you ever thought of changing the title of your publication to “Let’s All Hate Pietersn”? Why are so many of your correspondents so obsessed with attacking his perceived vanity instead of concentrating on his great achievements? It is rather tedious to keep dragging this up all the time when as no less than Mike Atherton - although your Lancashire- hating contributor would probably disagree - said in The Times that " He is a remarkable cricketer and, goodness me, England would be a modest bunch without him." Cannot reasoned criticism supplant this continual bile which your magazine is so party to?
I imagine your battery of his haters would have loved to see him get out the way he did on 97, whilst saying nothing about the four who preceded him, all out to terrible shots for 55 between them. Somebody, you or him, called Lord Ray tells us that his 158 at the Oval in 2005, reckoned by most to be a truly thrilling and vital innings, should be disregarded because Warne dropped him on 10. Really! Let's expunge from the record books Macartney's immortal century before lunch at Leeds in 1926 because he was dropped in the first over on 2, an innings which drew comparisons with Victor Trumper at his best. Len Hutton's 364 in 1938 can surely be disregarded and shouldn't count because after all he was missed on 28 from an easy stumping chance. One could recite so many innings of great import when chances were given at an early stage. The comment by "Lord Ray" is indeed a fatuous one.
Can you bury once and for all the PPS tag which somebody who obviously knows little about cricket but thought it very witty gave him. After 46 Tests , a fair period, he has a superior average in Test cricket to the likes of May, Cowdrey, Dexter, Graveney, Gower, Boycott, both Edriches etc., etc. Some slogger even your correspondents would agree if they took off their blinkers. Your magazine has many interesting features but this continual harping on about KP's ego and refusing to acknowledge his outstanding and entertaining batsmanship is really a bore. Do any of your critics actually know him?
I found it difficult to respond to such a balanced and reasoned view since my forte is rampant bigotry. But nevertheless I gave it a go:
It is indeed interesting that more correspondents go in for KP bashing. It may be more the fault of the system than his. He like all those South Africans before him shouldn't be playing for England at all. His unique technique makes him a devastating player on perfect covered wickets, but comparison to those who batted on uncovered ones must be unfair.
To which he replied
Regarding the advent of covered wickets being apparently the reason for KP's Test average of over 50, then by the same token perhaps Verity, Lock, Laker and Underwood should have their records re-assessed? Perhaps they are not as good as is commonly held! This is the end of correspondence on the matter as far as I am concerned.
Meanwhile Charlie Puckett sent me a couple of quotes taken from the Wisden Cricketer Email edition.
1) On the subject of bad behaviour in the Member's Area of the Sydney Cricket Ground:
Rodney Cavalier, the Chairman of the SCG Trust, pointed out that members were well rewarded for meeting their responsibilities. "The Trust takes the view that members should be setting a higher standard than the public. That's why they're entrusted with full-strength beer".
Not so much 'Roll over Beethoven' as 'piss off Pavlov'.
2) "Kevin may work really well as captain for a short period. A small amount of time means a limited time for things to go wrong. Captains often have that honeymoon period anyway", Ray Jennings, coach of Pietersen's IPL side Bangalore Royal Challengers.
I think he's on KP's side!
And David Tune added
Re: The Lord Ray and Charlie’s comments on the late departed and unlamented England captain: If he’d played for Richmond when PF and I were in the team it wouldn’t have just been his kit that would have been hurled from the Old Deer Park pavilion balcony. As everyone who knows PF (and, possibly, myself) knows, we didn’t do egos.
And inevitably Lord Ray joined the debate
On page 16 of the current edition of Private Eye, there is a small cartoon of a cricketer, with the initials KP on his chest. The caption reads: Dumbslog millionaire. How very prescient of the cartoonist, with the current Test having been lost at the moment that the PPS played the idiot shot which got him out in the first innings. I meant to e-mail you then. However, other things intervened and I merely mentioned to Charlie Puckett on the 'phone that I could think of many of those cricketers who can truly be called great who would have only been dismissed at that point (97) by the unplayable ball, and who would have considered the job barely half done. Indeed, I can name half a dozen at least of those I played against in club cricket who would have thought that way.
Fatuous as the shot was, it was outdone by his self-serving comment on it afterwards. That's the way I bat, he said. And, In any case, I had got to 97 batting that way. well, he had not, of course. He had actually batted properly for once to get to 80-odd. As for that's the way I bat, I know one captain under whom I played who would have told him that that being the way they bat in the second or third elevens, perhaps he should try his luck there for a few weeks. Sadly, our so-called Test cricketers do not come through the ranks any more or they might learn something from one or two of the old pros. With the wicket playing as it was, so that once well in it was trickier to get out than to stay in, the PPS should have made a "heavy" hundred - as would Tendulkar and other real batsmen - so putting the match more or less out of reach as far as a win was concerned.
What with Panesar bowling rather as the late Gerald Ford might have done, had he been a cricketer - you may recall that it was said of him that the act of chewing gum and breaking wind simultaneously was beyond him, since it would demand several more brain cells than he had at his command - and our "leading batsman" having even fewer brain cells than Ford, we are in serious trouble. How the Aussies must be falling about in fits of giggles at the thought of playing us and is it any wonder that Shane Warne is thinking of making a come-back at the age of 40?
Out and About with the Professor
The Professor is selflessly reporting from the Caribbean
The most striking thing to me about the Kensington Oval is the extent to which it has changed. In effect, nothing is left of the old stadium. And a good thing too. That "stadium" was little more than a collection of sheds and the rebuild for the World Cup has swept the whole lot away. The long low shed to the right of the pavilion is now the excellent Greenidge and Haynes stand, and the giant Three W's stand to the left is a sort of overblown version of the Lords media centre. The Garfield Sobers pavilion in the middle, is built in a kind of neo-art deco style (that is it looks like the superstructure of a ship) and is very smart indeed. By comparison, the section of the ground without a stand has been made to imitate a beach, complete with tents, parasols, beach bars and pool. Above the pool is a small stage which features go-go dancers for the entertainment of those who find the cricket too stressful. There is the inevitable disco music and a party atmosphere - not, I think (sadly) an innovation that will be adopted at Headquarters.
And the match? Well you will have seen some of the first two days (I am writing this before the start of play on the Third Day). After only a couple of overs the pitch looked very flat, but seasoned England followers like us do not tempt fate with undue optimism. In fact it is some time since I've seen Strauss bat with such ease and confidence. He was helped, of course, by Gale petting him down at slip and by Fidel Edwards declining to jog in the necessary five yards to catch him in the deep. I think I must have missed the change in the Laws which now stat that everyone must go to their hundred with a six, and you look a bit of a dope ( Pietersen and Collingwood) when it goes wrong. Strauss' shot, which landed on the roof above us was, however, a huge hit.
Inevitably, I think it was fatigue that contributed to his playing over a yorker (it is very hot here) and to Cook missing out - although doubtless the pundits will add that to the list of the 50s he has "failed to convert". To make amends for his fielding Edwards produced seven of the most hostile overs I have seen in ages and was unlucky to only get the wicket of Pietersen.
Bopara's hundred on the second day was an extraordinary innings - three men on the fence and still he took on every pull short. I can't think this is a successful policy for poorer batting surfaces. Collingwood, until his final shot looked in the form of his life. It is still a long way to go but the pitch looks like being the winner here.
Our first night in Barbados was spent in the company of Jim Cumbes, the Chief Exec of Lancashire, (who talked about how well Peter Moores interviewed for his new job) and a delightful chap by the name of Douglas Miller. Douglas is the erstwhile Chair (or somesuch) of the Society of Cricket Statisticians - a body that makes trainspotters appear to be well-rounded generalists. An evening with Douglas is a bit like sitting down with your own on-line Wisden - I rather fancy he would give the Sage of the Nursery End a run for his money.
After a few drinks, the waiter said there was a 20/20 game going on in a park up the road and so we all wandered off to have a look. The park turned out to be a football pitch with a few desultory floodlights and a cricket strip cut in the middle, (putting cricket pitches in the middle of football pitches is, as we know, a bit of a West Indian speciality these days). Some gentle left arm spinners were coming from one end to a huge man who was about twice the height of the 'keeper and a good foot taller than anyone else on the park, playing or watching. He was in an electric blue strip and was happily swishing this way and that. There was a bar in the corner of the field, a barbecue was on the go and lots of nice disco music - in short, everyone was having a high old time. Eventually, a "commentator" came on the PA and started saying the name "Jimmy Adams" - he also said "Otis Gibson" and some other recognisable names, and it turned out that we had stumbled on a match between a local XI and the "Barbados Legends". No one took it at all seriously; it was great fun and a perfect welcome to a (still) cricket mad island. Oh, and the huge batsman? Well he got out with a huge smile, came over grabbed a beer, and dripped sweat onto the huge boots that belong to the still daunting "Big Bird".
David Evans
I read the Times’ obituary of David Evans strangely enough at O’Hare airport last October. The office cleaning magnate and Emperor of Edmonton played a single season at South Hampstead in 1973. Someway past his best he played sixteen innings with a top score of 38. I have been unusually diffident about writing a piece until Allen Bruton asked me if I was aware of his death. I replied:
I have had reference to it from various correspondents but nobody seems to have anything good to say about him. Personally he was always very pleasant to me but others seem to have hated him with a vengeance. I would be happy to include a piece on him if we could find the right angle.
Allen sent me this
Like yourself he was always very friendly towards me, although I cannot claim to have known him that well. I guess his greatest achievements were in the business world, definitely not on the cricket field for South Hampstead. I never really worked out why he left Edmonton to have just one season with us. He was certainly a novelty as an M.P. and of course carried his radical views into the world of professional football, banning away team supporters during his spell as Luton chairman.
Wills Matters
In the course of these pages reference has been made periodically to South Hampstead’s disappointing performance at Lords in the final of the first Wills Trophy competition in 1968. I have even included a team photo and one of myself fielding at short leg. But what of the winners? Included in Mary Hancock’s stash of material was a copy of the Hornsey centenary booklet which has a photo of the victorious Hornsey side from that occasion, which I am happy to include below:
The handbook noted:
Both clubs took boxes in the NewTavern Stand and with flags draped over the balconies and successes greeted with uninhibited glee by supporters a really competitive atmosphere was present in the great ground. The long standing rivalry between the two finalists and setting made the day atest of nerve as well as skill and it was foreseeable that Roger Pearman would be an outstanding performer both with the bat and in his handling of his varied bowling resources. The “old fashioned” present were particularly pleased by the match winning ability of Hornsey slow bowlers and the slow left hand bowling of Hugh Pearman and Don Nute with Alan Thomas’s off breaks as a variation was too good for batsmen made to struggle at the beginning of their innings by the good length and line of the new ball bowling, particularly by Colin Nash.”
Sky Matters
One of the disadvantages of having Sky is that every so often they show a Rangers match live and I feel compelled to watch it. Such was the occasion last weekend when QPR hosted Ipswich. The Great Jack Morgan has been keeping me updated in his correspondence with the four changes per match made to the starting line up and the different formations consequently adopted. This no doubt, in part, accounts for the paucity of goals scored by the Super Hoops. On Saturday the formation was 4-5-1 with the frail and diminutive Di Carmine the lone striker. Routledge and Cook, both of even smaller stature, lined up as deep wingers. The formation worked well for three minutes with Routledge setting up Di Carmine for a near post tap in to put the Rangers ahead.
However, thereafter, the Rangers midfield and defence, who must have to introduce themselves to each other before each match, pumped the ball aerially towards their lone striker who was no match for Bruce Junior and his pals in the Ipswich defence. The Rangers defence looked fragile throughout and Ipswich started to score at regular intervals. Paulo Sousa clearly decided that he was unable to influence the tactics of his side on the pitch and so took off Di Carmine and others and brought on three centre forwards- Helguson, Blackstock and Balanta. He made the right decision as the ball continued to be pumped in the air towards the Loftus Road end but this triumvirate had no more success than Di Carmine had had earlier.
It could be argued that the Rangers are still in the play off race. We can only hope that they don’t make it since they could then find themselves in the Premiership next season destined for a fate as bad as Derby’s last season.
Football Matters
Kelvin West is moving to Greece and so has to retire from his position as chief coach to Andrew Baker’s Ladies soccer team. However, this presents an opportunity for any reader who would like to succeed him. Andrew Baker is a thoroughly professional man and so is employing a firm of head hunters to carry out the interviews for this prestigious position. So that candidates are not taken by surprise at interview he sent me this photo of the chief interrogator. Applicants should send their CVs to me if they wish to be considered for the post.
Googlies and Chinamen
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Tel & fax: 01298 70237
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 75
March 2009
Caption Competition
1. Andrew Strauss: Maybe I should have enforced the follow on after all. But my bowlers all said that they were tired. But that is a bit odd as they had only bowled eighty nine overs between them in a day. And anyway they have hardly bowled at all since Christmas. And before that some of them had bowled in India but even there the one day series was cut short. How can they be tired? They are all supposed to be fighting fit and they all look terrific in the tag rugby with a bean bag before play begins. Oh no, what have I let myself in for?
2. Priory: Bye lads. I’m back to the UK for paternity leave.
Harmy: Sorry skip I’m off now I’m feeling homesick
Cooky: I can’t play in the next test I have to go back to the UK for a funeral.
Belly: I won’t be there either; it’s my auntie’s birthday.
3. Andrew Strauss: Where are you off to Freddie?
Freddie Flintoff: The IPL
Andrew Strauss: But I thought you were injured?
Freddie Flintoff: I’m not that injured.
4. Sir Allan Stanford: Didn’t you play for Middlesex in my Super Series before Christmas.
Andrew Strauss: Oh, no. You must be mixing me up with someone else.
5. Peg Leg: Hi Straussy. Don’t forget I will be available for the Ashes.
Andrew Strauss: Doing what?
In the Dales with the Professor
We seem to have become part of Phil and Sue Sharpe's extended cricket family and so on Friday night found ourselves at their very attractive house in Wetherby. The dining room is full of memorabilia - paintings, clippings and a framed collection of Phil's England caps - it rather puts my poor collection of school cricket team photos in their place.
The event was a "pie and mushy peas supper" which is a revolting concoction but regarded with great affection by the natives around here. John Hampshire and Don Wilson were there but I found myself much of the time talking to Andrew Dalton who played for a couple of seasons in the early 1970s. I looked up his stats (of course) and he had a modest average but a best of 128* against Middlesex which is not too dusty (apparently he took a liking to the bowling of one K V Jones). Andrew played in the last season of Close's captaincy ("a great man") and the first of Boycott's ("the most disagreeable man you could ever meet"). Andrew was still a "colt" according to Wisden when he played for Yorkshire but just decided he could never devote his life to playing under Boycott and so gave up cricket altogether. He had lots else to say about cricket and Yorkshire as indeed did everyone else.
One of the difficulties of meeting these people is that you are never quite sure who you’re talking to - often it is someone who played for Yorkshire in the '60s who is now unrecognisable. Moreover they all know each other, and have done for 50 years. A good example is the conversation I got into with a chap called Hall about the famous 555 opening stand of Holmes and Sutcliffe. "Ah, I said, there's an interesting little book about that" and went on to tell Mr Hall (at some length) all about it, including the debate about the scorebook being one short because of a missing extra, and so on, and so on. "Yes", he said, politely, after listening to me giving him all this valuable information:"I got Stephen Chalke to write that".
"Oh! What was your motivation for doing that?"
"Well, I'm the Yorkshire CC archivist and have the original scorebook, and indeed have been through it several times looking for the famous extra leg-bye...Oh, and Percy Holmes was my schoolmaster".
You will be pleased to know I didn't tell John Hampshire how to bat or Phil where to position himself in the slips.
There were a few "jokes" told (or what passes for that in these parts). It is 100 years since the birth of the bellicose Bill Bowes (Definition of a Yorkshireman? "Born within the sound of Bill Bowes"). "Goughie" comes in for a lot of good humoured jollity - he is not regarded as a deep intellect and thus the story of an Atherton team talk (after yet another defeat) and the England boys being resolved to reverse their run of form. "Yes", said Darren, "we will rise like a pheasant from the ashes!" When corrected to "Phoenix", he is supposed to have said: "Ah yes, I knew it was a bird and it began with an "f"".
Wicket Keeping Matters
Wicket keeping purists will have been delighted that Ben Scott was added to the England Lions touring party to New Zealand. The Professor has long been a fan since he saw him standing up to Lance Klusener a few years back. After seeing him live and on TV quite a lot last season I rate him alongside James Foster as the best English keeper. The last time I saw Chris Read he was very untidy. But should the incumbent slap heads be worried? Well yes they should. Once the bowlers start reporting the difference it makes to have someone who knows what he is doing behind the stumps the selectors are bound to take note. “Ah”, you might say, “but Prior and Ambrose are really picked for their batting”. Well, Ben got plenty of chances with the bat at Middlesex last season and scored stacks of runs. Indeed in the first game on tour he scored an unbeaten fifty out of a relatively low total.
Old Uffs Matters
Allen Bruton sent me this:
The arrival of ten inches of snow in North Oxfordshire has caused me to be overtaken by a "Harry Rose Moment" and the need to correspond. This has been compounded by the appearance of the Old Uffs V Team of 1973 in the February Googlies. This photograph has stirred the following thoughts and memories, which I list below in no particular order.
1) Have you considered blackmailing Geoff Howe?
2) It must be unique for Alan May to appear in a team photograph. He rarely left the pub in time for kick off never mind a pre match photo.
3) It probably goes without saying that Ken James was captain of this side and inevitably managed to hide away a couple of very useful younger players immune from promotion to a higher side. Mick Barry, who appears in the photo, signed for Enfield when eventually escaping Ken's clutches. Goalkeeper, Dave Beasant, (England, Wimbledon, Chelsea, Newcastle etc.) was another member of the Fifth’s Team and I am sure that had he been available for the 1973 Final, Cordaroy would have been ditched.
4) Rather in the fashion of FA Cup Finalists appearing in their designer pre match outfits, it was always suspected that Ken had paid a visit to M & S, appearing very smartly dressed on the day. Sadly he was rather let down by the rest of us.
On a purely personal note I believe that I held the record of playing in every cup final that the Old Uffs ever reached. Whilst no great achievement in itself it is perhaps notable for the number of different levels which, in order of appearance, were 3RD.XI, 1ST.XI (two finals), 5TH.XI, 2ND.XI (1 plus 1 replay). The wide spread could indicate erratic selection or perhaps more accurately fluctuating levels of alcohol intake. Apologies that all this will mean very little to the vast majority of your readership, except of course reference to Ken James who is probably known to more people than Barack Obama.
Bush Matters
Another delve into the Bush Centenary brochure produced this photo of the victorious side which won the Ealing twenty over competition in 1974. It is somehow surprising that clubs were playing in these evening tournaments twenty five years before the concept was introduced into the professional game. There are many familiar faces in this line up including a very thin and fit looking Alf Langley.
Arthur Gates sent me the following photo from his personal collection. It was taken at a Bush pre season training camp in the early seventies and features the Great Jack Morgan, Arthur Gates and the future Mrs Revier. The headgear was not adopted as an on field alternative to club caps.
KP Matters
Barry Rickson sent me the following
Have you ever thought of changing the title of your publication to “Let’s All Hate Pietersn”? Why are so many of your correspondents so obsessed with attacking his perceived vanity instead of concentrating on his great achievements? It is rather tedious to keep dragging this up all the time when as no less than Mike Atherton - although your Lancashire- hating contributor would probably disagree - said in The Times that " He is a remarkable cricketer and, goodness me, England would be a modest bunch without him." Cannot reasoned criticism supplant this continual bile which your magazine is so party to?
I imagine your battery of his haters would have loved to see him get out the way he did on 97, whilst saying nothing about the four who preceded him, all out to terrible shots for 55 between them. Somebody, you or him, called Lord Ray tells us that his 158 at the Oval in 2005, reckoned by most to be a truly thrilling and vital innings, should be disregarded because Warne dropped him on 10. Really! Let's expunge from the record books Macartney's immortal century before lunch at Leeds in 1926 because he was dropped in the first over on 2, an innings which drew comparisons with Victor Trumper at his best. Len Hutton's 364 in 1938 can surely be disregarded and shouldn't count because after all he was missed on 28 from an easy stumping chance. One could recite so many innings of great import when chances were given at an early stage. The comment by "Lord Ray" is indeed a fatuous one.
Can you bury once and for all the PPS tag which somebody who obviously knows little about cricket but thought it very witty gave him. After 46 Tests , a fair period, he has a superior average in Test cricket to the likes of May, Cowdrey, Dexter, Graveney, Gower, Boycott, both Edriches etc., etc. Some slogger even your correspondents would agree if they took off their blinkers. Your magazine has many interesting features but this continual harping on about KP's ego and refusing to acknowledge his outstanding and entertaining batsmanship is really a bore. Do any of your critics actually know him?
I found it difficult to respond to such a balanced and reasoned view since my forte is rampant bigotry. But nevertheless I gave it a go:
It is indeed interesting that more correspondents go in for KP bashing. It may be more the fault of the system than his. He like all those South Africans before him shouldn't be playing for England at all. His unique technique makes him a devastating player on perfect covered wickets, but comparison to those who batted on uncovered ones must be unfair.
To which he replied
Regarding the advent of covered wickets being apparently the reason for KP's Test average of over 50, then by the same token perhaps Verity, Lock, Laker and Underwood should have their records re-assessed? Perhaps they are not as good as is commonly held! This is the end of correspondence on the matter as far as I am concerned.
Meanwhile Charlie Puckett sent me a couple of quotes taken from the Wisden Cricketer Email edition.
1) On the subject of bad behaviour in the Member's Area of the Sydney Cricket Ground:
Rodney Cavalier, the Chairman of the SCG Trust, pointed out that members were well rewarded for meeting their responsibilities. "The Trust takes the view that members should be setting a higher standard than the public. That's why they're entrusted with full-strength beer".
Not so much 'Roll over Beethoven' as 'piss off Pavlov'.
2) "Kevin may work really well as captain for a short period. A small amount of time means a limited time for things to go wrong. Captains often have that honeymoon period anyway", Ray Jennings, coach of Pietersen's IPL side Bangalore Royal Challengers.
I think he's on KP's side!
And David Tune added
Re: The Lord Ray and Charlie’s comments on the late departed and unlamented England captain: If he’d played for Richmond when PF and I were in the team it wouldn’t have just been his kit that would have been hurled from the Old Deer Park pavilion balcony. As everyone who knows PF (and, possibly, myself) knows, we didn’t do egos.
And inevitably Lord Ray joined the debate
On page 16 of the current edition of Private Eye, there is a small cartoon of a cricketer, with the initials KP on his chest. The caption reads: Dumbslog millionaire. How very prescient of the cartoonist, with the current Test having been lost at the moment that the PPS played the idiot shot which got him out in the first innings. I meant to e-mail you then. However, other things intervened and I merely mentioned to Charlie Puckett on the 'phone that I could think of many of those cricketers who can truly be called great who would have only been dismissed at that point (97) by the unplayable ball, and who would have considered the job barely half done. Indeed, I can name half a dozen at least of those I played against in club cricket who would have thought that way.
Fatuous as the shot was, it was outdone by his self-serving comment on it afterwards. That's the way I bat, he said. And, In any case, I had got to 97 batting that way. well, he had not, of course. He had actually batted properly for once to get to 80-odd. As for that's the way I bat, I know one captain under whom I played who would have told him that that being the way they bat in the second or third elevens, perhaps he should try his luck there for a few weeks. Sadly, our so-called Test cricketers do not come through the ranks any more or they might learn something from one or two of the old pros. With the wicket playing as it was, so that once well in it was trickier to get out than to stay in, the PPS should have made a "heavy" hundred - as would Tendulkar and other real batsmen - so putting the match more or less out of reach as far as a win was concerned.
What with Panesar bowling rather as the late Gerald Ford might have done, had he been a cricketer - you may recall that it was said of him that the act of chewing gum and breaking wind simultaneously was beyond him, since it would demand several more brain cells than he had at his command - and our "leading batsman" having even fewer brain cells than Ford, we are in serious trouble. How the Aussies must be falling about in fits of giggles at the thought of playing us and is it any wonder that Shane Warne is thinking of making a come-back at the age of 40?
Out and About with the Professor
The Professor is selflessly reporting from the Caribbean
The most striking thing to me about the Kensington Oval is the extent to which it has changed. In effect, nothing is left of the old stadium. And a good thing too. That "stadium" was little more than a collection of sheds and the rebuild for the World Cup has swept the whole lot away. The long low shed to the right of the pavilion is now the excellent Greenidge and Haynes stand, and the giant Three W's stand to the left is a sort of overblown version of the Lords media centre. The Garfield Sobers pavilion in the middle, is built in a kind of neo-art deco style (that is it looks like the superstructure of a ship) and is very smart indeed. By comparison, the section of the ground without a stand has been made to imitate a beach, complete with tents, parasols, beach bars and pool. Above the pool is a small stage which features go-go dancers for the entertainment of those who find the cricket too stressful. There is the inevitable disco music and a party atmosphere - not, I think (sadly) an innovation that will be adopted at Headquarters.
And the match? Well you will have seen some of the first two days (I am writing this before the start of play on the Third Day). After only a couple of overs the pitch looked very flat, but seasoned England followers like us do not tempt fate with undue optimism. In fact it is some time since I've seen Strauss bat with such ease and confidence. He was helped, of course, by Gale petting him down at slip and by Fidel Edwards declining to jog in the necessary five yards to catch him in the deep. I think I must have missed the change in the Laws which now stat that everyone must go to their hundred with a six, and you look a bit of a dope ( Pietersen and Collingwood) when it goes wrong. Strauss' shot, which landed on the roof above us was, however, a huge hit.
Inevitably, I think it was fatigue that contributed to his playing over a yorker (it is very hot here) and to Cook missing out - although doubtless the pundits will add that to the list of the 50s he has "failed to convert". To make amends for his fielding Edwards produced seven of the most hostile overs I have seen in ages and was unlucky to only get the wicket of Pietersen.
Bopara's hundred on the second day was an extraordinary innings - three men on the fence and still he took on every pull short. I can't think this is a successful policy for poorer batting surfaces. Collingwood, until his final shot looked in the form of his life. It is still a long way to go but the pitch looks like being the winner here.
Our first night in Barbados was spent in the company of Jim Cumbes, the Chief Exec of Lancashire, (who talked about how well Peter Moores interviewed for his new job) and a delightful chap by the name of Douglas Miller. Douglas is the erstwhile Chair (or somesuch) of the Society of Cricket Statisticians - a body that makes trainspotters appear to be well-rounded generalists. An evening with Douglas is a bit like sitting down with your own on-line Wisden - I rather fancy he would give the Sage of the Nursery End a run for his money.
After a few drinks, the waiter said there was a 20/20 game going on in a park up the road and so we all wandered off to have a look. The park turned out to be a football pitch with a few desultory floodlights and a cricket strip cut in the middle, (putting cricket pitches in the middle of football pitches is, as we know, a bit of a West Indian speciality these days). Some gentle left arm spinners were coming from one end to a huge man who was about twice the height of the 'keeper and a good foot taller than anyone else on the park, playing or watching. He was in an electric blue strip and was happily swishing this way and that. There was a bar in the corner of the field, a barbecue was on the go and lots of nice disco music - in short, everyone was having a high old time. Eventually, a "commentator" came on the PA and started saying the name "Jimmy Adams" - he also said "Otis Gibson" and some other recognisable names, and it turned out that we had stumbled on a match between a local XI and the "Barbados Legends". No one took it at all seriously; it was great fun and a perfect welcome to a (still) cricket mad island. Oh, and the huge batsman? Well he got out with a huge smile, came over grabbed a beer, and dripped sweat onto the huge boots that belong to the still daunting "Big Bird".
David Evans
I read the Times’ obituary of David Evans strangely enough at O’Hare airport last October. The office cleaning magnate and Emperor of Edmonton played a single season at South Hampstead in 1973. Someway past his best he played sixteen innings with a top score of 38. I have been unusually diffident about writing a piece until Allen Bruton asked me if I was aware of his death. I replied:
I have had reference to it from various correspondents but nobody seems to have anything good to say about him. Personally he was always very pleasant to me but others seem to have hated him with a vengeance. I would be happy to include a piece on him if we could find the right angle.
Allen sent me this
Like yourself he was always very friendly towards me, although I cannot claim to have known him that well. I guess his greatest achievements were in the business world, definitely not on the cricket field for South Hampstead. I never really worked out why he left Edmonton to have just one season with us. He was certainly a novelty as an M.P. and of course carried his radical views into the world of professional football, banning away team supporters during his spell as Luton chairman.
Wills Matters
In the course of these pages reference has been made periodically to South Hampstead’s disappointing performance at Lords in the final of the first Wills Trophy competition in 1968. I have even included a team photo and one of myself fielding at short leg. But what of the winners? Included in Mary Hancock’s stash of material was a copy of the Hornsey centenary booklet which has a photo of the victorious Hornsey side from that occasion, which I am happy to include below:
The handbook noted:
Both clubs took boxes in the NewTavern Stand and with flags draped over the balconies and successes greeted with uninhibited glee by supporters a really competitive atmosphere was present in the great ground. The long standing rivalry between the two finalists and setting made the day atest of nerve as well as skill and it was foreseeable that Roger Pearman would be an outstanding performer both with the bat and in his handling of his varied bowling resources. The “old fashioned” present were particularly pleased by the match winning ability of Hornsey slow bowlers and the slow left hand bowling of Hugh Pearman and Don Nute with Alan Thomas’s off breaks as a variation was too good for batsmen made to struggle at the beginning of their innings by the good length and line of the new ball bowling, particularly by Colin Nash.”
Sky Matters
One of the disadvantages of having Sky is that every so often they show a Rangers match live and I feel compelled to watch it. Such was the occasion last weekend when QPR hosted Ipswich. The Great Jack Morgan has been keeping me updated in his correspondence with the four changes per match made to the starting line up and the different formations consequently adopted. This no doubt, in part, accounts for the paucity of goals scored by the Super Hoops. On Saturday the formation was 4-5-1 with the frail and diminutive Di Carmine the lone striker. Routledge and Cook, both of even smaller stature, lined up as deep wingers. The formation worked well for three minutes with Routledge setting up Di Carmine for a near post tap in to put the Rangers ahead.
However, thereafter, the Rangers midfield and defence, who must have to introduce themselves to each other before each match, pumped the ball aerially towards their lone striker who was no match for Bruce Junior and his pals in the Ipswich defence. The Rangers defence looked fragile throughout and Ipswich started to score at regular intervals. Paulo Sousa clearly decided that he was unable to influence the tactics of his side on the pitch and so took off Di Carmine and others and brought on three centre forwards- Helguson, Blackstock and Balanta. He made the right decision as the ball continued to be pumped in the air towards the Loftus Road end but this triumvirate had no more success than Di Carmine had had earlier.
It could be argued that the Rangers are still in the play off race. We can only hope that they don’t make it since they could then find themselves in the Premiership next season destined for a fate as bad as Derby’s last season.
Football Matters
Kelvin West is moving to Greece and so has to retire from his position as chief coach to Andrew Baker’s Ladies soccer team. However, this presents an opportunity for any reader who would like to succeed him. Andrew Baker is a thoroughly professional man and so is employing a firm of head hunters to carry out the interviews for this prestigious position. So that candidates are not taken by surprise at interview he sent me this photo of the chief interrogator. Applicants should send their CVs to me if they wish to be considered for the post.
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