GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 64
April 2008
Caption Competition
England Matters
I sent the following to the Great Jack Morgan on England’s latest Goon with the Gloves and other England matters:
I only saw the highlights of Ambrose’s innings on the first day, but he seemed to score all his runs in very restricted areas. On the second morning he looked awful and could have been out several times. It is uncanny how he has started in much the same way as Teflon and Prior did. He will quickly be worked out by the bowlers at this level. He may be better than Teflon with the bat but Prior is ahead of him by some way. His keeping is no better than either of the other two. He takes the ball hard and comes up too soon. He will continue to spill chances. It is too soon to say whether his keeping is any better than either of the other two. So on balance it’s a relief not to have to watch Prior keeping wicket but I don’t see Ambrose solving any problem or making the job his. The Colonel seems the best bet with the gloves but doesn’t seem to be in the running for the test side. Stephen Davies could be the best bet.
I don’t buy into the Peg Leg is a great captain crap. I think that his field placings are moronic, not novel. His reluctance to have a fine off side sweeper (third man to you and me) is incomprehensible. It cost Hoggard his test place and maybe his test career.
It was farcical playing Hoggard and Harmison at Hamilton. Neither was up for it. Apparently Hoggard admitted as much, which may have been honest but seems stupid in hindsight. Who do these people think they are? The central contracts are reputedly worth £250k pa. Is there not some requirement that these guys should get themselves ready to perform? We seem to be back in the Fletcher era. If Moores is happy for his quicks to have no preparation in terms of match fitness why was Anderson sent off to play for Northern Districts during the first test? If this means he recognised his error does this not mean that his whole strategy is wrong? Harmison’s test career may be confined to annual outings on the concrete at Old Trafford. Has anyone ever just been selected at one ground on a regular basis?
Collingwood is emerging as the most reliable of the batters. I am still not convinced and he seems to have only two gears: block or slog. Nevertheless, he is the only Englishman to average over 40 in overseas tests since 2005. This is a terrible indictment of the rest. Is Owais still on this tour? How poor do the rest have to be for him to get a game? He should fit into the fielding style easily.
The Great Jack Morgan replied:
I suppose we all believed that KP would finally get some runs, but I was rather more doubtful that Straussy and Belly would. A flat track and depleted opposition are the likely reasons, I suppose, but almost all of this XI has now either hit some form or is young enough to be given more chances. The one who is not in either category is the captain: will he now be axed and replaced by Flintoff for the Lord’s Test? Although I’m strongly against rushing Fred back too soon, it’s a neat solution and one that they may find hard to resist, though I don’t think Fred would get the captaincy, which would probably go to Colly, I suppose? Ambrose is one of those who will get more chances, but as your opinion of his keeping more or less tallies with mine, I think other keepers will come into the frame. I am also unconvinced about Anderson; Hoggy might come back... or they might promote Onions... or Tremlett might even be fit enough for consideration... or will they give the old ‘uns a chance in the shape of Richo? Lord’s XI (?): Cook, Strauss, Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood (c), Flintoff, Ambrose (w), Broad, Tremlett, Sidebottom, Panesar. Also in the squad: Shah and Onions. The trouble is that the Kiwis will be even more depleted on the spring tour than they were this winter, so some chaps might be able to establish themselves when they are not really up to it. Owais must be dying for a game.
South Hampstead Matters
Getting a ticket for the South Hampstead Annual Dinner can be as difficult as penetrating the activities of a Masonic Lodge. The event is not publicised and you have to detect by osmosis that it is about to happen. The extraordinary thing is that when you get there so many other diners have joined you.
It became apparent that there were some difficulties being encountered by the organisers from the outset. When I arrived Ken James was busy scribbling place names and trying to sort out the seating arrangements as emails and text messages were being exchanged with the absent star speakers. When dinner was eventually called David Ball was almost reduced to tears as he sought his place on table four in vain.
The menu before us described Don Wallis, the President, as Master of Ceremonies for the evening and he was certainly kept busy throughout the dinner. The order of events soon looked like an England football programme with changes in every position. Brian Fuller made the nine o’clock toast to absent friends and he paid tribute to Dick Bostell, Colin Hughes, Heather Wells and John Bowerman. Then the MC started to ring the changes. Lord Ray was scheduled to propose the health of the club but he was moved down the list to facilitate the inclusion of club Chairman, Martin Jennings, who spoke in his capacity as an Old Uffingtonian. He listed some of the many ties between this organisation and South Hampstead, not least in the duplication of personnel. The response by the club was given by James Williams the retiring club captain.
Lord Ray makes last minute adjustments to his speech whilst the MC blathers on
Dipak Palmar was scheduled to propose the health of the guests, a speech that he has apparently made at each of the last eighteen dinners. However, the satellite link with his jail in Nigeria was apparently not working and so the MC announced himself in Dipak’s stead. He then sat down before getting up again and thanking himself for his kind words of introduction. By his own standards he was extraordinarily polite to the guests of the club who included such noteworthies as Roger Kingdon, Alf Langley and David Bloomfield.
The highlight of the evening was a triumph for the MC. He had managed to persuade Lord Ray to come out of retirement and speak at the dinner. David Perrin was listed to respond on behalf of the guests but he had been forced to withdraw at the last minute. Lord Ray had for over thirty years been one of the star attractions at club dinners and he didn’t disappoint on his comeback. His technique is based on quirky references and impeccable timing. He started by explaining that he wasn’t going to try to gain phoney credibility by giving a biblical quotation and eventually rounded up this anecdote by quoting one at length. He divulged that he was still waiting for the MC to buy him a drink and I fear that this may have extended back over the years rather than just for the duration of the dinner. He explained that he had been sitting next to the MC all evening and was sure that he had many interesting things to say but that he had unfortunately kept them to himself. He concluded with a dissertation on uncertainty which included some frank disclosures about his own sex life. Welcome back, sir.
The South Hampstead administration should be congratulated on overcoming the last minute setbacks and providing an entertaining evening for all.
Asquith Matters
Jeremy Asquith sent me the following plaintiff note:
“That 1976 Photo sent my mind a wanderin’ as did the ladies team at the end! I’m not sure which one gave me most pleasure. Are there any other photos that feature the team around that time as my son doesn’t believe I ever played the game and gained the nickname of Tom Mix Asquith, that I was ever a cardinal or broke a bat won in a raffle facing John Snow. He also doesn’t believe I was a punk who comes from Brent Cross, free agent ain’t got no boss ……………………….My archives of sporting achievements are sadly depleted. I’ve even lost my South Hampstead cap.”
I went back to the stash of material that Ian McIntosh had given me last year and came up with this photo from 1980. It was taken before the match against Stanmore which featured previously in a match report when Terry Cordaroy and Mark Rigby added an unbroken 240 for the first wicket. I also dug out some other stuff and sent it to Jeremy. This included pictures of him performing in the South Hampstead review as a punk rocker together with the full libretto that he quoted from above.
Standing: Rhys Axworthy, Lyric Carter, David Simpson, Bob Cozens, Ossie Burton, Kit Fawcett, Ross Bevins.
Seated: Jeremy Asquith, Terry Cordaroy, Steve Thompson, Jim Sharp, Mark Rigby.
Jeremy Asquith was one of a bunch of undergraduates during the seventies who found themselves at university in London and wanted a club at which to play their cricket. Others included Jeremy Hall, Colin Ellis and John Mountjoy. Jeremy was slightly different in that he was an artist at the Royal College of Art from which he ultimately graduated with a first class degree. When he started at the club he professed to be a medium quick bowler but the slow, low wicket there soon discouraged him. However, he found that it did suit his correct batting style and he scored well at first team level against all but the very best of bowlers. It isn’t true that the presence of his girlfriend, Elaine, ever influenced his selection.
Nomenclature Matters
As soon as I sent out Googlies last month I realised that I had mistakenly called Paul Sundberg, Peter. Steve Thompson was first off the blocks to point out my error:
“For the anorak record it's Paul Sundberg in that picture not Peter. We look like the forerunner of a Premiership team with only three players eligible to play for England in the side. My main recollection of Sundberg was that he was guilty of the single biggest example of cheating that I have ever seen on a cricket field. I think you were playing Jim. It was at Sawbridgeworth and I remember it mainly because I'm pretty sure it was my highest score for the club 128 I think- took advantage of the postage stamp of a ground! Anyway I opened with Paul who fairly early on got the thickest of edges to second slip who dived in front of third to take the catch. I might be wrong but I think Clive was at the bowler's end and guess what............ I can still see the look on the face of the guy who caught it when 'Sonny' didn't even begin to contemplate leaving the crease. Talk about more front than Brighton! It might be interesting to hear from others on the biggest cheats. I suspect Cords might go for someone like Geoff Sandrock at Enfield- however you might not want a libel case on your hands! A recollection of Cords' ever-reddening complexion when someone was plainly out but didn't go is always guaranteed to make me smile. Great to hear from 'Lagga' Hardie. Do you remember his party piece in the nets? He was never one to take net practice too seriously, something you did to kill time before the bar opened on a Friday night, but I do remember he would delight in playing the odd ball drifting down the leg side with a straight bat which he bought from behind his arse- a sort of reverse on drive - but as Wallis would say, 'Not a bad fuckin' bowler'.”
Twenty20 Matters
The Professor sent me these observations on the increasing dominance of Twenty20 in world cricket
David Hopps reported in the Guardian the news that Giles Clark had flown out to NZ with proposals to "compensate" our plucky lads for not being able to join in the money-fest that is the Indian Premier League. Unhappy that they are not going to be able to pick up £500,000 for playing a few games, apparently the proposals include some more 20/20 cricket in England for our (albeit "burnt-out") cricketers. But who to play?... and who to help sort out the tricky problem of getting money into the players hands in exchange for not doing very much? Step forward Sir Alan Stanford. Hopps reports that a tie-up with Stanford (the "239th richest man in America") is a distinct possibility.
I thought that when we went to the Stanford 20/20 in Antigua that it was just about the oddest cricket competition I had seen. But now its coming here!
Its a wonderful prospect. Just think of the welcome Lords is going to give to 30 feet high neon-lit stumps at the Nursery End, fireworks at the fall of each wicket, every seat, boundary rope, sightscreen, etc., (and almost everything that moves) bearing Sir Alan's name, that large red brick building re-named the StanPav, the dancing girls greeting members as they enter and exit (rapidly), the mandatory issue of whistles and hooters to all in the Compton and Edrich stands so that they can make a deafening racket for three hours non-stop; I can't wait. I suppose there may be a few grumpy old regulars who might conceivably object but there can't be many of them. Me, I'm looking forward to it.
Wanderers Matters
I felt inclined to respond when I saw the first article from Peter Ray. Now I can’t desist. An observant reader may have noticed that I appeared for the Wanderers in both the Surrey C and G scorecards on offer, mustering 10 in 1962 and 12 in 1960. These performances would not surprise Don Wallis, who in my first season at South Hampstead in 1961 would say, “He’s our fielder”. However, that is not the reason for writing at this stage. It is the slur on Bertie Joel and the totally incorrect reference to his participation. Please note: this is Surrey Club and Ground (Staff). Bertie was a Member of the Surrey Club (a sort of throw back to Gentlemen (Members) and Players (Staff)) and he did in fact appear quite regularly for them, as he looked to play cricket almost every day at that time. You may also note that he actually caught me out (and I caught him). Holding a catch for Bertie was a very rare event (rarer than his duck, which occurred quite often).
However, my first venture into these games was in 1959, one year after I had finished playing for the University of London, where Bob Peach had also been Captain of Cricket in my final year. Wanderers batted first and Bob opened and I came in at no 3 (as in the 2 scorecards in the earlier issues of Googlies) with the score on nought or thereabouts. We went through a torrid time, as the bowling was opened by Dave Gibson and a re-invented Dave (DAD) Sydenham. DAD had also played for London University in ’57 and ’58 (though that was stretching the range of topics on offer at the University to the level we see today, as he was studying chiropody at Chelsea Polytechnic (and that topic was not one recognised by the University!)). The University played mostly the County 2nd XI’s and DAD opened the bowling. However, though he swung the ball prodigiously at a reasonable pace, he bowled round the wicket and the County boys just kicked him away. He changed to over the wicket in ’59 and then posed problems a bit like Ryan Sidebottom today. Over the next 3 years or so, he got over a 100 wickets a year for Surrey and was talked about as an England prospect. He never made it but I suspect that was because he was either not fit enough (or pretended not to be) as he was a poor fielder by County standards, batted number 11 and most of all loved to play the clown-taking full advantage of his initials, DAD. Dave Gibson never got as far as DAD but he did play 1st XI county cricket for Surrey for some years and he was decidedly quick on the Oval pitch that day.
Anyway, back to Peach and I. We had played together at School (he was Captain!) and we had learnt to run well together (though at that time, I was still playing for the Bush). So with a combination of fear and good judgement (and luck), we more-or-less played tip and run. The pros all got very cross; and at the end of the first hour, we had put on 40 runs. Then the bowling was changed to medium pace and we put on another 100 by lunch, creaming it all around the Oval (please note that while we were playing on one side of the square, there was practice taking place on the outfield on the other side of the ground, so it wasn’t the full Oval area that had to be crossed to reach the boundary).
At lunch at 140 for 1, we were told to get on with it by Captain Tredwell (of Malden Wanderers). Though I have often wondered since whether he was joking, I tried to do as instructed in the first over after lunch against a spinner and was out for 78, caught at deepish mid-off. My then fiancée, Helen, was actually taking a picture of me at that moment and it does record what a very bad shot it was as I played completely across the line. Unfortunately, I cannot lay my hands on that photo at present but I know that if you look carefully, you can also make out the catcher-it’s Bertie Joel again.
I can’t remember anymore, which shows my egocentricity. I don’t think Bob got 100 and I believe that though we did get a good score, we still lost fairly comfortably! Helen and I enjoyed chatting to Bertie and his wife in the bar afterwards. One other small point. One of the medium pacers that we creamed around the ground, played at the Bush the next weekend for the Lords Nippers. He was terrifying on the Bush pitch and we lost comfortably!
Incidentally, we were asked to name the non-SHCC people in the previous scorecard. The opening bat for the Wanderers was Roy Swetman, who had kept for England in the early 50’s and played quite a lot for The Wanderers. He rarely kept wicket and liked to bowl little off-breaks with a silly mid-off. On one occasion, I refused to field close enough for him and we had quite a row!
It occurred to me that Bill Hart could probably add some notes on Dave Sydenham. He set me this:
“Dave Sydenham was at Chelsea Polytechnic (which later became Chelsea College of Science & Technology) in 1954-5, reading Chiropody. At that time, the Polytechnic also housed the famous Chelsea School of Art, and the Chelsea School of Pharmacy, at which I was a student. The Polytechnic was classified as a College of London University, and as such entered for the inter-college cricket cup. In the summer of either 1954 or 55, Dave Sydenham and I opened the bowling for the Polytechnic in this competition. We beat St Mary’s, and one other college (I can’t remember which one) before losing in the semi-final to Kings College.
I knew who he was before playing with him for the College, because I had played against him for the Old Grammarians, in a "conference fixture" against East Molesey, whilst I was in my last year at BGS. I think he took 4 for 4, or something similar, in that match. I was 17 years old, and he would have been 18. When he retired from county cricket, he played for Guildford, with a very good friend of mine, Michael Tooke. Incidentally, I see from Wikipedia, on the internet, that he topped the first-class averages in 1962 with 115 wickets at 17.65. We must have made a useful opening attack for a university college team. When did Peachy & Nienow get their "purples”? It can only have been 2 or 3 years later than the above events.”
By now this email correspondence had stretched to four of us and Bob Peach was next to contribute:
Nienow & Peach were at London University for the seasons 1959 to 61. This doesn’t quite tie in with Bill’s dates. Syd’s years in London team 60/61 clearly prepared him well for 1962 which was primarily due to the guidance and coaching we gave him. Maybe we should have become the England coaches.
This prompted Bill to add:
I didn't know that Dave Sydenham played for London University with you and Alvin. If it was 1960, then he was 26 years old, which seems very old for an undergraduate. I suppose it is possible that he had had a break from studies whilst on the Surrey staff, as well as doing his National Service. I have a vague feeling that he was in the RAF, but this could be rubbish ! Surely he didn't top the first class averages one year after playing for the University team !
When I played for Chelsea Polytechnic, there were two "purples" in our team. An all-rounder called Vinny Patel from Kenya (it was a very unusual name at that time), and the wicket-keeper, John Mason. Mason, a fellow pharmacy student, was an old boy of Sir George Monoux School, Walthamstow, and played football for Walthamstow Avenue. I presume they were before your time.
I remember you telling me that you played cricket at St Clement Danes with Jimmy Quail. I played for Battersea Grammar School, from 1951-53 inc, and against Quail in 1953. The captain of that Danes XL went on to play for Brentham, although I cant remember his name, was it Dave something ?, I think he was also football captain. Chick Pickering was also in that side. When were you and Alvin in the 1st XL ?
Then Alvin got back from a skiing trip and joined in:
Clearly, Robert Arthur Peach is loosing his marbles! When I queried him re. our performance against DAD of some details prior to my contribution to The Wanderers, he could not remember it! Now, we are being led astray by what he does remember. Perhaps, he does not like to admit his age! I played for St Clement Danes only in the 6th form, 1954 and '55; RAP for 4 years from '52 to '55 (Captain last 2 years). He played for London '56 - '58; me, only '57 (when I got my Purple) and '58 (with RAP as Captain).
If my memory serves me correctly, the only Danes man of this period that ended up at Brentham was John (?) 'Chipper' Pickering after starting at Turnham Green (where his father played and made thousands of runs-their answer to Henry Malcolm!), who moved there via Ealing (or it may have been the other way round!).
KP Matters
His Wonderfulness eventually passed fifty in a test match at the eleventh attempt this winter and so I suppose justifies his batting place. However, those who were unfortunate enough to witness his fielding have to reluctantly concede that his catching, or rather dropping, now ranks alongside Peg Leg’s. This ranks him even lower than Cook which is a terrible indictment. Owais must have previously believed that it was his poor fielding that was keeping him out of the side. How wrong he was.
Hedgcock Matters
Murray Hedgcock sent me this
Having crossed swords (bats?) in a mild sort of way with the Professor in past Googlies, I am alarmed to find myself absolutely in agreement with him on several matters set out in the March bulletin. And as Googlies has been sadly short of an Australian viewpoint for a while, I report herewith.
I was not even aware of the new Law on backing-up until it was mentioned in a TV commentary last season, and I was astonished to find that the batsman has been given this extra opportunity to sneak a couple of feet, inches even, that could mean the difference between being run out, and surviving. What next – some sort of dispensation for the striker, that he cannot be stumped unless he has fully completed his stroke, and grounded both feet?
I offer a happy memory from a country match in distant Victoria back in the Fifties, when a batsman in the nineties, set for a century, was run out by the bowler in the old, accepted fashion, as he whipped off the bails during his delivery stride.
The batsman was not happy, but he had his own methods of revenge. He was the local traffic policeman, and for weeks, afterwards, the bowler, a self-employed carpenter, had to take the greatest care on the roads driving to and from jobs, as the constable tended to jump out from hiding and grab him for the slightest misdemeanour.
from mid-on and mid-off are time-wasting, but otherwise…..
I pass on fan clubs, while wishing I had been around when the inimitable George Gunn was opening the batting for Notts. And imprinting his own personality on the game. Sample – the county match where he began to walk off at 1 p.m., to be told that lunch was taken at this ground fifteen minutes later. Gunn said nowt, faced up, raised his bat to allow himself to be bowled next ball, tucked bat under arm, and strolled off with the comment: “I always have lunch at one o’clock”. Or somesuch. Is it too late to start a George Gunn Fan Club?
Tune Matters
In the last edition David Tune asked for a list of natural southpaws who bat right handed. Being a lazy bastard I handed this query over to the Great Jack Morgan who replied as follows:
”Your wish is my command dept: as instructed, I flicked through the first two Googlies anthologies and found that you first published a team of Middlesex left-handed batters who bowled with the right in Edition 4. A joint effort by Dave Banks and me on right-handed batters who bowled with the left was included in Edition 6 and it took me until Edition 36 to come up with a team who both batted and bowled with the left. I had actually given up on the last one, but the sudden emergence of Paul Hutchison, Chris Peploe and Irfan Pathan convinced me to have another go.”
If David or anyone else has mislaid their back numbers I will be happy to email copies to them.
Red Mist Matters
Who would have thought that a New Zealander other than McCullum or Oram would find themselves in the Afridi column? Just possibly Jesse Ryder would have made it but his excesses in the bar kept him out of contention. It was left to the teenage debutant Tim Southee to make a stunning contribution. Not content with bowling England out with a magnificent 5 for 55 he followed up by joining his captain with the match all but lost with the score on 329 for 8 in the second innings. He then scored 77 not out of the 102 runs added for the last two wickets. He faced just forty balls and hit nine sixes and four fours.
There are some who despair that the excitement of Twenty20 will dilute the appeal of test matches. They need not fear as long as Virender Sehwag keeps playing. At Chennai, after South Africa had rattled up 540 in their first innings, he made 319 out of 481 whilst he was at the crease. He only faced 304 balls and hit five sixes and forty-three fours. This must rank as one of the most sustained feats of hitting in the game. There are some who doubt Sehwag’s quality but he now has two test match triple centuries, which puts him in exalted company. The only other two to have achieved this feat are Bradman and Lara.
John Bowerman
The death of John Bowerman was announced in March. I will publish an obituary in the next edition. If anyone has any recollections or anecdotes about John, please send them to me for inclusion.
Errata Matters
It’s always a relief to find that it’s not just me who makes simple errors. The Great Jack Morgan copied me in on his indignant note to the Editor of the Wisden Cricketer:
“What a horrible blunder on page 64! Frank Hayes, on Engineer's left, is of course, Peter Lever and as Ken Shuttleworth is also easily identifiable, we can be sure that this is not the 1972 final as neither of them played in the match. It could, however, be either the 1971 or 1970 final as both players played in both matches. I am going for 1971, however, as it looks more like Brian Luckhurst and David Nicholls coming down the steps than Mike Buss and Geoff Greenidge.”
Football Matters
Some people say that Andrew Baker is a mean man. Others applaud his green credentials. In an attempt to conserve water he has now prohibited showers for his ladies team after their matches and has instead issued them with water pistols to clean each other off. Our staff photographer, Kelvin West, volunteered to attend the first post match ablutions and sent us this record of the event.
Old Danes Gathering
Momentum is gathering for the 2008 Old Danes gathering at Shepherds Bush Cricket Club on Friday 1st August 2008. I have been circulating a list of attendees. Please advise me if you would like to be added to it.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 64
April 2008
Caption Competition
- Freddie: Tell this little punk Jesse Ryder that I will drink him under the table anytime.
- Innocent Bystander: Excuse me; can you direct me to the pedaloes, please?
- Freddie: 2005? Sorry it’s all a blur to me.
- Victoria Beckham: very fashionable Freddie. I suppose you wear baggy jeans hanging off your bum too?
- Freddie: Twenty20? How many overs will I have to bowl? Four, sorry that’s too many.
- Fielder at deep mid-wicket: I’m over here Freddie.
England Matters
I sent the following to the Great Jack Morgan on England’s latest Goon with the Gloves and other England matters:
I only saw the highlights of Ambrose’s innings on the first day, but he seemed to score all his runs in very restricted areas. On the second morning he looked awful and could have been out several times. It is uncanny how he has started in much the same way as Teflon and Prior did. He will quickly be worked out by the bowlers at this level. He may be better than Teflon with the bat but Prior is ahead of him by some way. His keeping is no better than either of the other two. He takes the ball hard and comes up too soon. He will continue to spill chances. It is too soon to say whether his keeping is any better than either of the other two. So on balance it’s a relief not to have to watch Prior keeping wicket but I don’t see Ambrose solving any problem or making the job his. The Colonel seems the best bet with the gloves but doesn’t seem to be in the running for the test side. Stephen Davies could be the best bet.
I don’t buy into the Peg Leg is a great captain crap. I think that his field placings are moronic, not novel. His reluctance to have a fine off side sweeper (third man to you and me) is incomprehensible. It cost Hoggard his test place and maybe his test career.
It was farcical playing Hoggard and Harmison at Hamilton. Neither was up for it. Apparently Hoggard admitted as much, which may have been honest but seems stupid in hindsight. Who do these people think they are? The central contracts are reputedly worth £250k pa. Is there not some requirement that these guys should get themselves ready to perform? We seem to be back in the Fletcher era. If Moores is happy for his quicks to have no preparation in terms of match fitness why was Anderson sent off to play for Northern Districts during the first test? If this means he recognised his error does this not mean that his whole strategy is wrong? Harmison’s test career may be confined to annual outings on the concrete at Old Trafford. Has anyone ever just been selected at one ground on a regular basis?
Collingwood is emerging as the most reliable of the batters. I am still not convinced and he seems to have only two gears: block or slog. Nevertheless, he is the only Englishman to average over 40 in overseas tests since 2005. This is a terrible indictment of the rest. Is Owais still on this tour? How poor do the rest have to be for him to get a game? He should fit into the fielding style easily.
The Great Jack Morgan replied:
I suppose we all believed that KP would finally get some runs, but I was rather more doubtful that Straussy and Belly would. A flat track and depleted opposition are the likely reasons, I suppose, but almost all of this XI has now either hit some form or is young enough to be given more chances. The one who is not in either category is the captain: will he now be axed and replaced by Flintoff for the Lord’s Test? Although I’m strongly against rushing Fred back too soon, it’s a neat solution and one that they may find hard to resist, though I don’t think Fred would get the captaincy, which would probably go to Colly, I suppose? Ambrose is one of those who will get more chances, but as your opinion of his keeping more or less tallies with mine, I think other keepers will come into the frame. I am also unconvinced about Anderson; Hoggy might come back... or they might promote Onions... or Tremlett might even be fit enough for consideration... or will they give the old ‘uns a chance in the shape of Richo? Lord’s XI (?): Cook, Strauss, Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood (c), Flintoff, Ambrose (w), Broad, Tremlett, Sidebottom, Panesar. Also in the squad: Shah and Onions. The trouble is that the Kiwis will be even more depleted on the spring tour than they were this winter, so some chaps might be able to establish themselves when they are not really up to it. Owais must be dying for a game.
South Hampstead Matters
Getting a ticket for the South Hampstead Annual Dinner can be as difficult as penetrating the activities of a Masonic Lodge. The event is not publicised and you have to detect by osmosis that it is about to happen. The extraordinary thing is that when you get there so many other diners have joined you.
It became apparent that there were some difficulties being encountered by the organisers from the outset. When I arrived Ken James was busy scribbling place names and trying to sort out the seating arrangements as emails and text messages were being exchanged with the absent star speakers. When dinner was eventually called David Ball was almost reduced to tears as he sought his place on table four in vain.
The menu before us described Don Wallis, the President, as Master of Ceremonies for the evening and he was certainly kept busy throughout the dinner. The order of events soon looked like an England football programme with changes in every position. Brian Fuller made the nine o’clock toast to absent friends and he paid tribute to Dick Bostell, Colin Hughes, Heather Wells and John Bowerman. Then the MC started to ring the changes. Lord Ray was scheduled to propose the health of the club but he was moved down the list to facilitate the inclusion of club Chairman, Martin Jennings, who spoke in his capacity as an Old Uffingtonian. He listed some of the many ties between this organisation and South Hampstead, not least in the duplication of personnel. The response by the club was given by James Williams the retiring club captain.
Lord Ray makes last minute adjustments to his speech whilst the MC blathers on
Dipak Palmar was scheduled to propose the health of the guests, a speech that he has apparently made at each of the last eighteen dinners. However, the satellite link with his jail in Nigeria was apparently not working and so the MC announced himself in Dipak’s stead. He then sat down before getting up again and thanking himself for his kind words of introduction. By his own standards he was extraordinarily polite to the guests of the club who included such noteworthies as Roger Kingdon, Alf Langley and David Bloomfield.
The highlight of the evening was a triumph for the MC. He had managed to persuade Lord Ray to come out of retirement and speak at the dinner. David Perrin was listed to respond on behalf of the guests but he had been forced to withdraw at the last minute. Lord Ray had for over thirty years been one of the star attractions at club dinners and he didn’t disappoint on his comeback. His technique is based on quirky references and impeccable timing. He started by explaining that he wasn’t going to try to gain phoney credibility by giving a biblical quotation and eventually rounded up this anecdote by quoting one at length. He divulged that he was still waiting for the MC to buy him a drink and I fear that this may have extended back over the years rather than just for the duration of the dinner. He explained that he had been sitting next to the MC all evening and was sure that he had many interesting things to say but that he had unfortunately kept them to himself. He concluded with a dissertation on uncertainty which included some frank disclosures about his own sex life. Welcome back, sir.
The South Hampstead administration should be congratulated on overcoming the last minute setbacks and providing an entertaining evening for all.
Asquith Matters
Jeremy Asquith sent me the following plaintiff note:
“That 1976 Photo sent my mind a wanderin’ as did the ladies team at the end! I’m not sure which one gave me most pleasure. Are there any other photos that feature the team around that time as my son doesn’t believe I ever played the game and gained the nickname of Tom Mix Asquith, that I was ever a cardinal or broke a bat won in a raffle facing John Snow. He also doesn’t believe I was a punk who comes from Brent Cross, free agent ain’t got no boss ……………………….My archives of sporting achievements are sadly depleted. I’ve even lost my South Hampstead cap.”
I went back to the stash of material that Ian McIntosh had given me last year and came up with this photo from 1980. It was taken before the match against Stanmore which featured previously in a match report when Terry Cordaroy and Mark Rigby added an unbroken 240 for the first wicket. I also dug out some other stuff and sent it to Jeremy. This included pictures of him performing in the South Hampstead review as a punk rocker together with the full libretto that he quoted from above.
Standing: Rhys Axworthy, Lyric Carter, David Simpson, Bob Cozens, Ossie Burton, Kit Fawcett, Ross Bevins.
Seated: Jeremy Asquith, Terry Cordaroy, Steve Thompson, Jim Sharp, Mark Rigby.
Jeremy Asquith was one of a bunch of undergraduates during the seventies who found themselves at university in London and wanted a club at which to play their cricket. Others included Jeremy Hall, Colin Ellis and John Mountjoy. Jeremy was slightly different in that he was an artist at the Royal College of Art from which he ultimately graduated with a first class degree. When he started at the club he professed to be a medium quick bowler but the slow, low wicket there soon discouraged him. However, he found that it did suit his correct batting style and he scored well at first team level against all but the very best of bowlers. It isn’t true that the presence of his girlfriend, Elaine, ever influenced his selection.
Nomenclature Matters
As soon as I sent out Googlies last month I realised that I had mistakenly called Paul Sundberg, Peter. Steve Thompson was first off the blocks to point out my error:
“For the anorak record it's Paul Sundberg in that picture not Peter. We look like the forerunner of a Premiership team with only three players eligible to play for England in the side. My main recollection of Sundberg was that he was guilty of the single biggest example of cheating that I have ever seen on a cricket field. I think you were playing Jim. It was at Sawbridgeworth and I remember it mainly because I'm pretty sure it was my highest score for the club 128 I think- took advantage of the postage stamp of a ground! Anyway I opened with Paul who fairly early on got the thickest of edges to second slip who dived in front of third to take the catch. I might be wrong but I think Clive was at the bowler's end and guess what............ I can still see the look on the face of the guy who caught it when 'Sonny' didn't even begin to contemplate leaving the crease. Talk about more front than Brighton! It might be interesting to hear from others on the biggest cheats. I suspect Cords might go for someone like Geoff Sandrock at Enfield- however you might not want a libel case on your hands! A recollection of Cords' ever-reddening complexion when someone was plainly out but didn't go is always guaranteed to make me smile. Great to hear from 'Lagga' Hardie. Do you remember his party piece in the nets? He was never one to take net practice too seriously, something you did to kill time before the bar opened on a Friday night, but I do remember he would delight in playing the odd ball drifting down the leg side with a straight bat which he bought from behind his arse- a sort of reverse on drive - but as Wallis would say, 'Not a bad fuckin' bowler'.”
Twenty20 Matters
The Professor sent me these observations on the increasing dominance of Twenty20 in world cricket
David Hopps reported in the Guardian the news that Giles Clark had flown out to NZ with proposals to "compensate" our plucky lads for not being able to join in the money-fest that is the Indian Premier League. Unhappy that they are not going to be able to pick up £500,000 for playing a few games, apparently the proposals include some more 20/20 cricket in England for our (albeit "burnt-out") cricketers. But who to play?... and who to help sort out the tricky problem of getting money into the players hands in exchange for not doing very much? Step forward Sir Alan Stanford. Hopps reports that a tie-up with Stanford (the "239th richest man in America") is a distinct possibility.
I thought that when we went to the Stanford 20/20 in Antigua that it was just about the oddest cricket competition I had seen. But now its coming here!
Its a wonderful prospect. Just think of the welcome Lords is going to give to 30 feet high neon-lit stumps at the Nursery End, fireworks at the fall of each wicket, every seat, boundary rope, sightscreen, etc., (and almost everything that moves) bearing Sir Alan's name, that large red brick building re-named the StanPav, the dancing girls greeting members as they enter and exit (rapidly), the mandatory issue of whistles and hooters to all in the Compton and Edrich stands so that they can make a deafening racket for three hours non-stop; I can't wait. I suppose there may be a few grumpy old regulars who might conceivably object but there can't be many of them. Me, I'm looking forward to it.
Wanderers Matters
I felt inclined to respond when I saw the first article from Peter Ray. Now I can’t desist. An observant reader may have noticed that I appeared for the Wanderers in both the Surrey C and G scorecards on offer, mustering 10 in 1962 and 12 in 1960. These performances would not surprise Don Wallis, who in my first season at South Hampstead in 1961 would say, “He’s our fielder”. However, that is not the reason for writing at this stage. It is the slur on Bertie Joel and the totally incorrect reference to his participation. Please note: this is Surrey Club and Ground (Staff). Bertie was a Member of the Surrey Club (a sort of throw back to Gentlemen (Members) and Players (Staff)) and he did in fact appear quite regularly for them, as he looked to play cricket almost every day at that time. You may also note that he actually caught me out (and I caught him). Holding a catch for Bertie was a very rare event (rarer than his duck, which occurred quite often).
However, my first venture into these games was in 1959, one year after I had finished playing for the University of London, where Bob Peach had also been Captain of Cricket in my final year. Wanderers batted first and Bob opened and I came in at no 3 (as in the 2 scorecards in the earlier issues of Googlies) with the score on nought or thereabouts. We went through a torrid time, as the bowling was opened by Dave Gibson and a re-invented Dave (DAD) Sydenham. DAD had also played for London University in ’57 and ’58 (though that was stretching the range of topics on offer at the University to the level we see today, as he was studying chiropody at Chelsea Polytechnic (and that topic was not one recognised by the University!)). The University played mostly the County 2nd XI’s and DAD opened the bowling. However, though he swung the ball prodigiously at a reasonable pace, he bowled round the wicket and the County boys just kicked him away. He changed to over the wicket in ’59 and then posed problems a bit like Ryan Sidebottom today. Over the next 3 years or so, he got over a 100 wickets a year for Surrey and was talked about as an England prospect. He never made it but I suspect that was because he was either not fit enough (or pretended not to be) as he was a poor fielder by County standards, batted number 11 and most of all loved to play the clown-taking full advantage of his initials, DAD. Dave Gibson never got as far as DAD but he did play 1st XI county cricket for Surrey for some years and he was decidedly quick on the Oval pitch that day.
Anyway, back to Peach and I. We had played together at School (he was Captain!) and we had learnt to run well together (though at that time, I was still playing for the Bush). So with a combination of fear and good judgement (and luck), we more-or-less played tip and run. The pros all got very cross; and at the end of the first hour, we had put on 40 runs. Then the bowling was changed to medium pace and we put on another 100 by lunch, creaming it all around the Oval (please note that while we were playing on one side of the square, there was practice taking place on the outfield on the other side of the ground, so it wasn’t the full Oval area that had to be crossed to reach the boundary).
At lunch at 140 for 1, we were told to get on with it by Captain Tredwell (of Malden Wanderers). Though I have often wondered since whether he was joking, I tried to do as instructed in the first over after lunch against a spinner and was out for 78, caught at deepish mid-off. My then fiancée, Helen, was actually taking a picture of me at that moment and it does record what a very bad shot it was as I played completely across the line. Unfortunately, I cannot lay my hands on that photo at present but I know that if you look carefully, you can also make out the catcher-it’s Bertie Joel again.
I can’t remember anymore, which shows my egocentricity. I don’t think Bob got 100 and I believe that though we did get a good score, we still lost fairly comfortably! Helen and I enjoyed chatting to Bertie and his wife in the bar afterwards. One other small point. One of the medium pacers that we creamed around the ground, played at the Bush the next weekend for the Lords Nippers. He was terrifying on the Bush pitch and we lost comfortably!
Incidentally, we were asked to name the non-SHCC people in the previous scorecard. The opening bat for the Wanderers was Roy Swetman, who had kept for England in the early 50’s and played quite a lot for The Wanderers. He rarely kept wicket and liked to bowl little off-breaks with a silly mid-off. On one occasion, I refused to field close enough for him and we had quite a row!
It occurred to me that Bill Hart could probably add some notes on Dave Sydenham. He set me this:
“Dave Sydenham was at Chelsea Polytechnic (which later became Chelsea College of Science & Technology) in 1954-5, reading Chiropody. At that time, the Polytechnic also housed the famous Chelsea School of Art, and the Chelsea School of Pharmacy, at which I was a student. The Polytechnic was classified as a College of London University, and as such entered for the inter-college cricket cup. In the summer of either 1954 or 55, Dave Sydenham and I opened the bowling for the Polytechnic in this competition. We beat St Mary’s, and one other college (I can’t remember which one) before losing in the semi-final to Kings College.
I knew who he was before playing with him for the College, because I had played against him for the Old Grammarians, in a "conference fixture" against East Molesey, whilst I was in my last year at BGS. I think he took 4 for 4, or something similar, in that match. I was 17 years old, and he would have been 18. When he retired from county cricket, he played for Guildford, with a very good friend of mine, Michael Tooke. Incidentally, I see from Wikipedia, on the internet, that he topped the first-class averages in 1962 with 115 wickets at 17.65. We must have made a useful opening attack for a university college team. When did Peachy & Nienow get their "purples”? It can only have been 2 or 3 years later than the above events.”
By now this email correspondence had stretched to four of us and Bob Peach was next to contribute:
Nienow & Peach were at London University for the seasons 1959 to 61. This doesn’t quite tie in with Bill’s dates. Syd’s years in London team 60/61 clearly prepared him well for 1962 which was primarily due to the guidance and coaching we gave him. Maybe we should have become the England coaches.
This prompted Bill to add:
I didn't know that Dave Sydenham played for London University with you and Alvin. If it was 1960, then he was 26 years old, which seems very old for an undergraduate. I suppose it is possible that he had had a break from studies whilst on the Surrey staff, as well as doing his National Service. I have a vague feeling that he was in the RAF, but this could be rubbish ! Surely he didn't top the first class averages one year after playing for the University team !
When I played for Chelsea Polytechnic, there were two "purples" in our team. An all-rounder called Vinny Patel from Kenya (it was a very unusual name at that time), and the wicket-keeper, John Mason. Mason, a fellow pharmacy student, was an old boy of Sir George Monoux School, Walthamstow, and played football for Walthamstow Avenue. I presume they were before your time.
I remember you telling me that you played cricket at St Clement Danes with Jimmy Quail. I played for Battersea Grammar School, from 1951-53 inc, and against Quail in 1953. The captain of that Danes XL went on to play for Brentham, although I cant remember his name, was it Dave something ?, I think he was also football captain. Chick Pickering was also in that side. When were you and Alvin in the 1st XL ?
Then Alvin got back from a skiing trip and joined in:
Clearly, Robert Arthur Peach is loosing his marbles! When I queried him re. our performance against DAD of some details prior to my contribution to The Wanderers, he could not remember it! Now, we are being led astray by what he does remember. Perhaps, he does not like to admit his age! I played for St Clement Danes only in the 6th form, 1954 and '55; RAP for 4 years from '52 to '55 (Captain last 2 years). He played for London '56 - '58; me, only '57 (when I got my Purple) and '58 (with RAP as Captain).
If my memory serves me correctly, the only Danes man of this period that ended up at Brentham was John (?) 'Chipper' Pickering after starting at Turnham Green (where his father played and made thousands of runs-their answer to Henry Malcolm!), who moved there via Ealing (or it may have been the other way round!).
KP Matters
His Wonderfulness eventually passed fifty in a test match at the eleventh attempt this winter and so I suppose justifies his batting place. However, those who were unfortunate enough to witness his fielding have to reluctantly concede that his catching, or rather dropping, now ranks alongside Peg Leg’s. This ranks him even lower than Cook which is a terrible indictment. Owais must have previously believed that it was his poor fielding that was keeping him out of the side. How wrong he was.
Hedgcock Matters
Murray Hedgcock sent me this
Having crossed swords (bats?) in a mild sort of way with the Professor in past Googlies, I am alarmed to find myself absolutely in agreement with him on several matters set out in the March bulletin. And as Googlies has been sadly short of an Australian viewpoint for a while, I report herewith.
I was not even aware of the new Law on backing-up until it was mentioned in a TV commentary last season, and I was astonished to find that the batsman has been given this extra opportunity to sneak a couple of feet, inches even, that could mean the difference between being run out, and surviving. What next – some sort of dispensation for the striker, that he cannot be stumped unless he has fully completed his stroke, and grounded both feet?
I offer a happy memory from a country match in distant Victoria back in the Fifties, when a batsman in the nineties, set for a century, was run out by the bowler in the old, accepted fashion, as he whipped off the bails during his delivery stride.
The batsman was not happy, but he had his own methods of revenge. He was the local traffic policeman, and for weeks, afterwards, the bowler, a self-employed carpenter, had to take the greatest care on the roads driving to and from jobs, as the constable tended to jump out from hiding and grab him for the slightest misdemeanour.
from mid-on and mid-off are time-wasting, but otherwise…..
I pass on fan clubs, while wishing I had been around when the inimitable George Gunn was opening the batting for Notts. And imprinting his own personality on the game. Sample – the county match where he began to walk off at 1 p.m., to be told that lunch was taken at this ground fifteen minutes later. Gunn said nowt, faced up, raised his bat to allow himself to be bowled next ball, tucked bat under arm, and strolled off with the comment: “I always have lunch at one o’clock”. Or somesuch. Is it too late to start a George Gunn Fan Club?
Tune Matters
In the last edition David Tune asked for a list of natural southpaws who bat right handed. Being a lazy bastard I handed this query over to the Great Jack Morgan who replied as follows:
”Your wish is my command dept: as instructed, I flicked through the first two Googlies anthologies and found that you first published a team of Middlesex left-handed batters who bowled with the right in Edition 4. A joint effort by Dave Banks and me on right-handed batters who bowled with the left was included in Edition 6 and it took me until Edition 36 to come up with a team who both batted and bowled with the left. I had actually given up on the last one, but the sudden emergence of Paul Hutchison, Chris Peploe and Irfan Pathan convinced me to have another go.”
If David or anyone else has mislaid their back numbers I will be happy to email copies to them.
Red Mist Matters
Who would have thought that a New Zealander other than McCullum or Oram would find themselves in the Afridi column? Just possibly Jesse Ryder would have made it but his excesses in the bar kept him out of contention. It was left to the teenage debutant Tim Southee to make a stunning contribution. Not content with bowling England out with a magnificent 5 for 55 he followed up by joining his captain with the match all but lost with the score on 329 for 8 in the second innings. He then scored 77 not out of the 102 runs added for the last two wickets. He faced just forty balls and hit nine sixes and four fours.
There are some who despair that the excitement of Twenty20 will dilute the appeal of test matches. They need not fear as long as Virender Sehwag keeps playing. At Chennai, after South Africa had rattled up 540 in their first innings, he made 319 out of 481 whilst he was at the crease. He only faced 304 balls and hit five sixes and forty-three fours. This must rank as one of the most sustained feats of hitting in the game. There are some who doubt Sehwag’s quality but he now has two test match triple centuries, which puts him in exalted company. The only other two to have achieved this feat are Bradman and Lara.
John Bowerman
The death of John Bowerman was announced in March. I will publish an obituary in the next edition. If anyone has any recollections or anecdotes about John, please send them to me for inclusion.
Errata Matters
It’s always a relief to find that it’s not just me who makes simple errors. The Great Jack Morgan copied me in on his indignant note to the Editor of the Wisden Cricketer:
“What a horrible blunder on page 64! Frank Hayes, on Engineer's left, is of course, Peter Lever and as Ken Shuttleworth is also easily identifiable, we can be sure that this is not the 1972 final as neither of them played in the match. It could, however, be either the 1971 or 1970 final as both players played in both matches. I am going for 1971, however, as it looks more like Brian Luckhurst and David Nicholls coming down the steps than Mike Buss and Geoff Greenidge.”
Football Matters
Some people say that Andrew Baker is a mean man. Others applaud his green credentials. In an attempt to conserve water he has now prohibited showers for his ladies team after their matches and has instead issued them with water pistols to clean each other off. Our staff photographer, Kelvin West, volunteered to attend the first post match ablutions and sent us this record of the event.
Old Danes Gathering
Momentum is gathering for the 2008 Old Danes gathering at Shepherds Bush Cricket Club on Friday 1st August 2008. I have been circulating a list of attendees. Please advise me if you would like to be added to it.
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