GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 113
May 2012
Out and About with the Professor
Summer has set in with its usual severity here in Yorkshire and, as a result, both home fixtures have been rain-affected draws.
But it didn’t seem like that when I set off full of optimism for the first day of the new season – April 5th (naturally). The sun was beating down (truly), the ground look splendid, my preferred seat on the North Terrace was vacant and the “lads” who had been showing “good form” in their Barbados pre-season jaunt jogged onto the field. And that, as far as good news for Yorkshiremen went, was about it. Much of the first day was spent watching the familiar figure of Robert Key belt the ball around Headingley until he was, not entirely convincingly, run out for 97. (It is impossible not to look to the big screen for the third umpire referral when this happens – even when there isn’t one).
Most of the next two days (during which it turned from summer to winter and back again) were spent watching Kent rattle up a very healthy first innings score. The “good form” that our bowlers had shown in Barbados could be judged by the Kent 9th wicket pair putting on 150.
Worse was to come, Bairstow’s hundred couldn’t prevent the follow on and when the crepuscular West Yorkshire light put and end to it all we were still twenty-odd short of making Kent bat again.
And what did we make of all that. Well our newly-appointed coach Jason Gillespie described it as a “good workout”. Umm…if things carry on like this he might well find his euphemism lexicon severely stretched…and Australians are not universally known for their dexterity with the language.
To be fair, Yorkshire made a much better fist of their match against Essex where the newly-English Phil Jaques made over half the first innings runs. Essex, who I thought looked a poor side, were bowled out for 199 and frankly didn’t look likely to make much of a fist of the second innings when the game was again stopped by the weather.
I found myself, again, pondering the international credentials of Bopara in this match. He made 117 out of Essex’s modest total and was hardly troubled by the Yorkshire bowlers. I have seen him get test hundreds at Lord’s and in Barbados. He is clearly a gifted player and a Test slot is there available to him. But the technique seems so loose at Test level. The deft little flicks and wristy drives look perfect when they work but in the West Indies (notwithstanding that he got a hundred) he kept hooking in the air to long leg. At one time they had three men on the fence and he just kept going, his hooks either falling short of the fielders or clearing the fence. I kept thinking (as he kept scoring!) that it wasn’t a policy with much of a future. We shall see.
It wouldn’t have impressed Lord Ray.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan has plenty to say on Middlesex’ early season forays
I have not been to Merchant Taylors. It was cold and miserable on Saturday and although yesterday and today were sunny, it is too cold to be sitting around at cricket in the wide open shelterless spaces of MTS. Sam Robson hit 117 for Middx and although there were several century makers around the country, Sam is now the maker of the earliest fc century of the season ever. Luke Blackaby of Kent 2s has been the star for Durham with 4-51, 45 and 38* and it was worrying that Durham could stroll to 199-3 in their second innings. It was another worry that Bergy was not bowling.
It sounds like a pretty dreadful performance at Taunton, but sometimes it is better to get an early warning of how bad things could be rather sneaking a result and assuming that everything is hunky dory. Otherwise, there were hardly any redeeming features in a very poor performance. Another worrying feature was that Durham Uni, who strolled to 199-3 against Middlesex, were routed for 18 by Durham, though it did not help that Blackaby disappeared from the match for unknown reasons. B Stokes took 4 for 3 and, though I have not actually seen him bowl, I have heard that his bowling is actually quite ordinary.
Rory Hamilton-Brown won the toss in the Championship match between Middlesex and Surrey at Lord's and for the second time in two matches this season, Middx were invited to bat first on a green wicket that gave even more assistance to the bowlers than its appearance hinted it would. Sam Robson (40) batted very sensibly for Middlesex, but could not prevent the hosts declining to a dismal 129 for 7. Fortunately for Middlesex, Dawid Malan was also batting extremely capably and he found a useful partner in Tim Murtagh (31) as the pair added 53 for the eighth wicket and, getting some help from nos 10 and 11, Toby Roland-Jones (spelt "Rowland" on the 80 pence scorecard) and Corey Collymore, Dawid was able to steer Middx to a respectable 256 before he was last man out for an excellent 88. The Surrey seamers collected nine of the wickets with Jade Dernbach (3 for 48) having the best figures, though new signing Jon Lewis (2 for 56) appeared to bowl equally well to me. Middx opening bowlers Murtagh and Collymore were soon causing problems for the Surrey openers Jacques (actually Jacobus) Rudolph (spelt "Rudolf" on the scorecard) and Steve Davies, but the batsmen survived and had put on a more than useful 85 before Rudolph (45) changed the game by essaying a wild yahoo in Ollie Rayner's first over of off-spin and getting himself stumped by a distance. Davies followed for a fine 62 and the Surrey innings slowly subsided against Roland-Jones (3 for 43) bowling faster than last year when he was troubled by injury and skipper Neil Dexter who returned the creditable figures of 3 for 23 with his medium paced dibbly-dobblers.
Middlesex gained a handy first innings lead of 34, but instead of turning this into a match winning position, some truly dreadful batting by the home team turned the visitors into the favourites to win. From the perimeter, the seamer friendly pitch seemed to have eased on day three, but in fact the bowlers prospered even more than they had done on days one and two as a scarcely credible nineteen wickets fell on the day and ten of those fell for 106 in a terrible 35 overs that constituted the Middlesex second innings. Sam Robson's 43 was the only highlight for Middlesex as the Surrey seamers again picked up nine wickets and this time Lewis got his just reward with 5 for 41. This left Surrey to get 141 for victory and though they were soon struggling at 22 for 3, Captain Rory with an excellent 63 appeared to be guiding his team over the finishing line, but Roland-Jones (4 for 25) and Murtagh (4 for 43) caused Surrey to collapse from 101 for 4 to 137 all out, giving Middlesex the win by 3 runs after thirteen overs had been bowled on day 4. Middlesex 21 points, Surrey 3 (one point deducted for a slow over rate).
At the beginning of the match, Jim Revier and I were wondering who Middlesex could possibly leave out in order to get Andy Strauss into the side, but by the end of the game, there were plenty of candidates. Only Robson (48.6), Malan (41.2) and Murtagh (40.67) have acceptable batting figures, while Chris Rogers averages 18.83, Joe Denly has only one score above 10 and just consider the Championship scores made by Neil Dexter (8,6,1,0); John Simpson (15,2,0,9); Gareth Berg (7,1,11,1) and Ollie Rayner (14,3,2,7). Meanwhile, Scott Newman averages 45 for Kent. In fact, Middlesex might have more trouble accommodating Steve Finn as the bowlers have done well so far and the most likely candidate to step down, TSRJ, has 12 wickets for 222 this season.
Jim said he might write to you about the afternoon teas being advertised at Lord's, but just in case he has not done so, I would not want you to miss out on this excellent bargain. Jim spotted an advertisement (in the gents' loo) for afternoon tea and a tour of the pavilion and asked me how much I thought it might cost and knowing that nothing is cheap at Lord's, especially in the pavilion, I guessed a completely over the top tenner per head. I just could not stop laughing when he told me that the cost was actually £38 per head! And it was not just £38, it was from £38 and (get this) "or £76 for two"!
It was interesting to read that Gareth Berg, Middlesex's South African born but England qualified allrounder, is now an Italian international courtesy of his maternal grandparents.
Middlesex have axed skipper Dexter for the Durham game (sorry, Neil has decided to stand down temporarily) and C Rogers takes over. You might recall my stating that it would be daft to reappoint Dexter and that Rogers should be in charge. Collymore is "rested" after two matches, even though Bergy is doubtful with a chest infection; Straussy, Finny and Crooky are all in the squad.
For the third consecutive Championship match, Middlesex lost the toss against Durham at Lord's and were asked to bat on a green wicket, but there was no further action after the toss on day 1 owing to the weather. I was surprised to see that Neil Dexter was included in the Middlesex team having heard the night before that he was standing down; Chris Rogers is skippering the side, but in the end, Dexy was preferred to Ollie Rayner, leaving Middlesex without a spinner (unless you count our quartet of leggies: Denly, Malan, Robson and Rogers), in contrast to Durham, who brought in an extra spinner, Scott Borthwick, to partner Ian Blackwell. Andy Strauss came into the Middx side, Gareth Berg was passed fit and Steve Finn replaced Corey Collymore.
On day 2, after waiting 24 hours to begin his innings, Straussy lost his off stump to Graham Onions to the second ball of the match and was soon followed back to the pavilion by Denly, Robson and Rogers as Middlesex slumped to 2 for 3 and then 28 for 4. Dawid Malan (35) did his best to retrieve the situation in a partnership of 55 with a surprisingly fluent Dexter (65 from 84 balls with 13 fours), while John Simpson got his head down for an unbeaten 25, but 188 all out was a poor total even allowing for the seamer friendly conditions. Onions finished with thoroughly deserved figures of 6 for 45.
It looked as if Durham were batting on a different strip as Mike di Venuto (30) and Will Smith (29) put on 59 in just over an hour for the first wicket, but gradually the Middlesex pace bowlers got a grip on proceedings with only Ben Stokes (45 off 54 balls) looking comfortable until Borthwick (33*) and Onions (20 all in boundaries) added an irritating but entertaining 44 for the last wicket in 27 minutes. Steve Finn (3 for 55) and Gareth Berg (3 for 56) were the most successful bowlers, but the visitors had taken a valuable lead of 50 on first innings. This lead looked huge as Middlesex collapsed again to 91 for 8, with only skipper Rogers (36) showing the necessary technique against the moving ball. However, Simpson (47 off 69 balls) and Tim Murtagh (45 off 50 balls) compiled a fine stand of 82 in 15 overs for the ninth wicket before Middx were all out for 179 (Onions 4 for 28 and 10 for 73 in the match), leaving Durham only 130 to win. This looked easy for Durham, but yet another rain delay of two hours or so came to the rescue of Middx and left Durham needing 122 off 16 overs with all wickets standing. When Di Venuto (29 off 26 balls) and skipper Phil Mustard (25* off 35 balls) were together it looked as if they might do it, but Finn (4 for 43) took four quick wickets and it looked briefly as if Middlesex had a chance of a shock win, but the visitors held on for the draw at 82 for 6.
Keepers Mustard and Simpson both took four second innings catches to add to two in the first innings. Middlesex have been unlucky to lose the toss in all three of their Championship matches so far this season, but even taking this into account, the batting has been nowhere near good enough (no 9 Murtagh is top of the batting averages) and they are rather fortunate to have lost only one of those three games. Middlesex 6 points, Durham 7.
I have now seen Stokes bowl and actually he did not do too badly, but you could see the batsmen visibly relax when he came on to replace Onions or, to lesser extent, Thorp, who is accurate and moves it around, but at a fairly gentle pace. But perhaps this works in Stokes's favour? The batsmen know he is not in the same class as Onions so they relax and look for some easy runs, but then a good one can take them by surprise.
The wickets at Lord's this season have certainly been helping the seamers enormously, but they have not been the bright emerald colour that we saw a few times last season. Have they found a way of helping the pace bowlers without giving the game away with the colour of the pitch? Another point is that the pitch is not flattening out in the second half of the match as it has habitually done in recent seasons: one of the reasons for this is the cool, damp weather, but another factor is the ban on the use of the heavy roller after the start of the match. I do not, however, think that the pitch is kept "green" by rainfall as the hover cover is on the pitch at Lord's at record speed these days and, increasingly, I find that umpires are taking the players off before rain starts. The announcer always says this is because of "bad light", whatever the actual light is like, but the real reason (in my opinion) is that they are getting accurate information that it is about to piss down and the same applies to the (sometimes) inexplicable refusal to restart the game when conditions seem fine: they do not want to take the covers off because they are being told that rain is imminent. I think this is entirely sensible, but they ought to be honest about it.
Notes from a Cold Day at the Oval
Paddy Carlin got the season off to a flier on the first day
I attended the first day of county cricket in 2012 between Suirrey and Sussex at the Oval.The Montpellier Club was closed and so there was no sumptuous lunch and no alcohol. It was bloody cold and my first ever floodlit match. There were several absentees for Surrey-the PPS, Davies, Tremlett and last year’s leading wicket taker, Linley, who was amazingly r4eplaced by Dernbach, and for Sussex- Panesar, Prior and Wright. There were several debutants, all for Surrey-Jordan as an opening bat, Rudolph, Rory Burns as Wk and Jon Lewis.
Put into bat in grey lightenhanced by the floodlights the Surrey openers struggled. To the probable delight of Yorkshiremen Rudolph tried to run himself out and then was caught behind for a duck.The Sussex keeper, Brown, was really impressive all dayand looks at first glance to be better than Prior. Jordan was also out cheaply and he really does not look like an opener unless it is 20/20 matches.
Poor Ramps came in and he looks a shadow of his former self. Last year he only averaged around thirty and he couldn’t lay a bat on the left arm swing opf naved Goudal who was easily the best Sussex bowler. This really must be his last season. De Bruyn completed an excellent fifty with about ten fours and Hamilton-Brown livened things up with a shot a ball until he fell, like Bruyn, to an excellent catch by keeperBrown. This let in my favourite young batsman, Tom Maynard, who must get a test chance againstbthe West Indies this year. He batted beautifully and you must go and see himquickly before they give him a central contractand lock him away. BroBurnswn added 80 withhim until he he became another Brown victim.
The rest of the innings was the Maynard show as he moved to 86 not out. Sussex posted nine fielders on the boundary but he still found a way through. He would have reached his hundred and Surrey’s total would have bneen bigger but for brainless batting by the Surrey tail Batty, Meaker, Lewis and Dernbach.
Jon Lewis’ first ball for Surrey would have given him a wicket had it not been a no ball but he did not have to wait long before Joyce fell first ball to him. When run machine Goodwin was bowled by Dernbach Surrey were well on top. Amazingly Dernbach bowled another straight one and castled Wells. Maybe the tattooed South African can learn from this. I’d still rather see Linley and Tremlett in the side. Yardy looks like a Baseball hitter at the crease buthis strange stance does seem to get him runs.
Welwyn Garden City Matters
Mad man Nick Walker has moved to Yorkshire and will bemissed by some but not those with the spirit of cricket foremost in their minds. Gavin Baker is welcomed back from Northants andtwo South Africans have joined. The rest of the team is basically Herts, ex-herts or about to be Herts. One really pleasurable aspect of the new Home \counties Premier League season will be to see money bags Radlett in the second division, but I suspect not for long.
Revier Matters
Jim Revier sent me the following
Well we are into Surrey's 3rd home game of the season and I have yet to get to the Oval mainly because of the dreadful weather.I did however manage the first 2 days of the Middlesex/Surrey thriller at Lords.A great game of attritional cricket on a very friendly seamer's strip.
I was in the company of the GJM and he seemed to have brought a large part of his wardrobe with him to cope with the vastly different weather conditions we endured. The highlight was on Day two when he modelled the hood up anorak look together with shorts during a drop of rain.
I know the pricing structure at Lords is determined by MCC as opposed to their Middlesex tenants, which is why it is £16 to get into a county game as opposed to a tenner at the "out" grounds. However looking at their fixture list it seems that the cost of getting into the Eton/Harrow game is £17.Is the quality of the cricket higher at this game than a county game? Personally I'd guess that it would only be parents of the boys involved who would be interested in this fixture but this price would surely put off the casual visitor. However I have heard that a number of the media's political correspondents put in an appearance to get a look at what the Conservative government of 2045 will look like.
During the lunch break on Day One the GJM made his yearly trip to the Middlesex shop to purchase the 2nd X1 annual and Playfair. Whilst in there he noticed that Wisden was on sale at £35 (15 quid off the cover price) .His perambulation next took him to the MCC shop where the very same Wisden was on sale at the full price. Do you reckon they sell any in there ?
My own lunchtime stroll took me to the urinals at the Nursery End where whilst you wait for your bladder to engage you can read the MCC adverts displayed on the walls .My eye was taken by the prospect of afternoon tea in the Pavilion with a tour of the pavilion included. Price ? well Jack guessed a tenner but was highly amused to hear the actual price of £38.Further research at www.afternoontearipoffs.com revealed other prices including Fortnum & Mason £34,Harrods £26,Waldorf £23.50 and Park Lane £33.Only the Ritz £42 and somewhere called the Lanchester ( owned by the somewhat dodgy Barclay brothers, Sark residents and Daily Torygraph proprietors ) came in above Lords at £96.Lords price also was "from" £38 ,so presumably you can pay a bit more if you fancy a pasty with your tea.
Compton Matters
I asked Harry Compton whether he had seen Middlesex at Taunton and was delighted to receive the following back from him
Sorry I don’t go near the Somerset ground these days. Sky and Googlies satisfies my appetite. I was fortunate to live for twenty years by the county ground next door to the groundsman during the days of Botham and Richards. I often used to see Alan Huntley, my mentor at South Hampstead, when he used to use the indoor school for his village team’s pre-season. It was also fortunate that my son Denis played for the county 2nd XI from the age of 15 until he was 25. His forte was slow left arm, but he could not get a contract even though he had several notable victims including Robin Smith. But he grew and lost the loop! He scored several hundreds at club level and contributed to both Minehead and Taunton winning the Somerset Premier League. I like to think he would have made South Hampstead first eleven.
Denis is chairman of Minehead golf club and last year managed to organize a charity day to include many past Somerset players including Viv Richards. Originally the great man’s manager wanted £1000 for him to appear. But when he heard it was for junior sport in the area, Viv waived his fee. This may have been prompted by both my sons entertaining them in true Compton tradition at a local pub to the early hours. Lets hope Middlesex keep sending Somerset their best rejects!
King Cricket’s men to watch in 2012
Right, let’s get this over with.
First, let’s restate the qualification criteria:
Qualified to play for England
No established internationals
Youngish
Playing in the first division of the County Championship
Think that’s it. There might be other things. Who knows? Presumably us, but we don’t like to scrutinise the workings of our own mind in case we damage it. We reserve the right to apply further criteria later on if we feel like it.
Nick Compton, Somerset
Nick Compton was actually one to watch way back in 2007, but he didn’t really drink from the cup of runs quite as we’d predicted. We’re not entirely sure why he’s returned this year. Maybe because he’s a pretty dour batsman. In a side featuring Trescothick, Hildreth, Buttler and Kieswetter, we’re obviously going to watch the guy who inches along at 1.5 runs an over. It’s less distracting.
Steven Croft, Lancashire
We always pick at least one Lancashire player and it’s actually not because we’re biased. No, really, it isn’t. Even from an unbiased point of view we’d pick a Lancashire player each year. They just happen to have a lot of people who fit the criteria at the minute. Anyway, we’ve decided to drop Oliver Newby in the hope that this gets him back in the team and we’ve replaced him with Steven Croft who always seems to score 62 when Lancashire don’t make it to 200. This, to us, is a good sign.
Steven Davies, Surrey
Surrey like to import their players and frankly we were a bit irritated with them having kept England’s next wicketkeeper out of the first division for the last few years. Thankfully, they’ve been promoted, so we can start watching him again. Davies is a ‘one to watch’ veteran of 2008 and 2009. Both were mediocre vintages. They’ve all been mediocre vintages. That’s half the point.
Joe Denly, Middlesex
Sod it. Why not? It’s Denly or come up with someone new and you know how we feel about that kind of thing (we’ll go on the record and admit that ‘ones to watch’ selection has been a bit slapdash this year). Joe Denly’s nickname’s No Pants and he’s been one to watch before so we won’t have to remember another name. It’s good enough for us. Bit irritated about having to look for him in a different team now, but we’re sure we’ll be in the swing of things by August.
Paul Horton, Lancashire
2009, 2010 and 2011. He’s never quite made it worth our while, but our reasoning remains the same: surely someone in the Lancashire side has to score some runs sooner or later. We’re still pretty sure that Paul Horton’s most likely.
Simon Kerrigan, Lancashire
Yes, okay, it’s another Lancastrian, but come on – he’s worth watching. You know what? We don’t care anyway. It’s our website. You want to spend your time squinting to make out the stumpy figure of James Taylor along with everyone else, be our guest. Pretty sure there’ll be plenty of fawning articles peppered with the word ‘class’ to keep you occupied all summer long. We’ll be watching Simon Kerrigan taking stacks of wickets for the second XI while Gary Keedy whirdles away for another season. And yes, ‘whirdles’ is a word. Okay, maybe it isn’t. We’re just getting a bit snappy and defensive. Sorry, we don’t mean it. Well, we do a bit, but it’s not you specifically. We’re just a bit tired and irritable and we haven’t eaten for a few hours and we get tetchy when our blood sugar’s low.
Ben Stokes, Durham
Best crack on, eh? Nearly there. We said Ben Stokes would be fully amazing last year. And he was. Then he played for England and he wasn’t. We haven’t actually asked anyone about this, but we’re pretty sure everyone thinks he’s rubbish now. He isn’t. Watch. Unless he’s rubbish, in which case don’t.
The end. Thank God that’s over
South Hampstead Dinner
I asked both Bill Hart and Robin Ager if they would like to report on the South Hampstead dinner. Bill replied that he had been ill and so had had to drop out. I received the following from Robin
Thanks, but if you think I'm going to provide a scoop for Googlies - I've heard about you journos - you've come to the wrong man. If there was any gossip/scandal worth reporting, I didn't hear it.
In fact, if you can cast your mind back to last year's dinner, you will have a pretty good idea of this one, albeit with a slightly smaller attendance (40?). And the absence of W Hart, and the rather depressing litany of the departed (Len, Russell, Dipak, Brian Fuller and Peter Ray) and distressed (Don) made for a more sombre occasion. The food, by the same people as last year's, was again first rate and, at £30, the dinner is remarkably good value. I particularly enjoy the gathering at Bob's house, and I am happy to support the club, but there must be a question mark about the continuation of the Dinner in its current form.
Wood matters
Tony Wood sent me the following
Thank you for the latest edition of G&C. Always makes me even more homesick as I ride the bus into or out of Sydney (Oz) reading the very humorous offerings from the Prof and your other contributors! Peter Ray was a friend and cricketer who I greatly respected.
Overson Matters
In the last edition the Great Jack morgan announced his retirement from writing reports for inclusion in the winter editions. I like them and asked for support to encourage him to reconsider his position. I received the following from Chris Overson
I am a relatively newcomer to the excellent Googlies but, in answer to your question, I would just like to say that I enjoy Jack Morgan’s musings and would vote for their retention. I would however like to know more about the wild parties he mentions with any ‘photos available.
Locke Matters
Ronnie Locke sent me the following
I am one of the receivers of Googlies and Chinamen. Although I am a
Lancashire member, and played all my cricket in the Manchester Association
and Cheshire County League I enjoy hearing about club cricket in the south.
I knew Roger Pearman and Ian Jerman well, doing battle against them many
times, and playing alongside them in representative cricket.
It is good to hear from readers who don’t know the principal contributors and I am always happy to publish their thoughts
Irate of Hampton
The Great Jack Morgan copied me in on this letter to the editor
Andrew Miller thinks that England employed a "three spin attack" at Galle for the first time since 1987/88, but I think that England twice selected three spinners in India in the early months of 1993. If Andrew is ignoring these examples on the grounds that Graeme Hick was not a regular bowler, then I have to disagree because on that tour Hick was a regular bowler. Only two other bowlers bowled marginally more overs than Hicky in the three Tests and Graeme outshone all the other bowlers, quick and slow alike, to take the most wickets in the series and easily top the bowling averages (and the batting averages), 16.5 ahead of Paul Jarvis. Hick played in the Second Test alongside Phil Tufnell and Ian Salisbury and in the Third Test with Tufnell and John Emburey and comfortably outbowled his more illustrious team-mates.
Old Danes Gathering 2012
The 2012 Old Danes Gathering will be held on Friday 27 July. Once again Shepherds Bush CC have kindly agreed to host this event. The Gathering will take place between 2pm and 8pm and we hope to see as many Old Danes as can make it. Even if you can only pop in for an hour you will be warmly greeted and made to feel welcome. There will be a bar and food available throughout. Please let me know whether you plan to attend and I will circulate a list regularly between now and the event.
Football Matters
Ken Molloy sent me this example of one Mancunian Mein Host’s approach to equality:
Googlies and Chinamen
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 113
May 2012
Out and About with the Professor
Summer has set in with its usual severity here in Yorkshire and, as a result, both home fixtures have been rain-affected draws.
But it didn’t seem like that when I set off full of optimism for the first day of the new season – April 5th (naturally). The sun was beating down (truly), the ground look splendid, my preferred seat on the North Terrace was vacant and the “lads” who had been showing “good form” in their Barbados pre-season jaunt jogged onto the field. And that, as far as good news for Yorkshiremen went, was about it. Much of the first day was spent watching the familiar figure of Robert Key belt the ball around Headingley until he was, not entirely convincingly, run out for 97. (It is impossible not to look to the big screen for the third umpire referral when this happens – even when there isn’t one).
Most of the next two days (during which it turned from summer to winter and back again) were spent watching Kent rattle up a very healthy first innings score. The “good form” that our bowlers had shown in Barbados could be judged by the Kent 9th wicket pair putting on 150.
Worse was to come, Bairstow’s hundred couldn’t prevent the follow on and when the crepuscular West Yorkshire light put and end to it all we were still twenty-odd short of making Kent bat again.
And what did we make of all that. Well our newly-appointed coach Jason Gillespie described it as a “good workout”. Umm…if things carry on like this he might well find his euphemism lexicon severely stretched…and Australians are not universally known for their dexterity with the language.
To be fair, Yorkshire made a much better fist of their match against Essex where the newly-English Phil Jaques made over half the first innings runs. Essex, who I thought looked a poor side, were bowled out for 199 and frankly didn’t look likely to make much of a fist of the second innings when the game was again stopped by the weather.
I found myself, again, pondering the international credentials of Bopara in this match. He made 117 out of Essex’s modest total and was hardly troubled by the Yorkshire bowlers. I have seen him get test hundreds at Lord’s and in Barbados. He is clearly a gifted player and a Test slot is there available to him. But the technique seems so loose at Test level. The deft little flicks and wristy drives look perfect when they work but in the West Indies (notwithstanding that he got a hundred) he kept hooking in the air to long leg. At one time they had three men on the fence and he just kept going, his hooks either falling short of the fielders or clearing the fence. I kept thinking (as he kept scoring!) that it wasn’t a policy with much of a future. We shall see.
It wouldn’t have impressed Lord Ray.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan has plenty to say on Middlesex’ early season forays
I have not been to Merchant Taylors. It was cold and miserable on Saturday and although yesterday and today were sunny, it is too cold to be sitting around at cricket in the wide open shelterless spaces of MTS. Sam Robson hit 117 for Middx and although there were several century makers around the country, Sam is now the maker of the earliest fc century of the season ever. Luke Blackaby of Kent 2s has been the star for Durham with 4-51, 45 and 38* and it was worrying that Durham could stroll to 199-3 in their second innings. It was another worry that Bergy was not bowling.
It sounds like a pretty dreadful performance at Taunton, but sometimes it is better to get an early warning of how bad things could be rather sneaking a result and assuming that everything is hunky dory. Otherwise, there were hardly any redeeming features in a very poor performance. Another worrying feature was that Durham Uni, who strolled to 199-3 against Middlesex, were routed for 18 by Durham, though it did not help that Blackaby disappeared from the match for unknown reasons. B Stokes took 4 for 3 and, though I have not actually seen him bowl, I have heard that his bowling is actually quite ordinary.
Rory Hamilton-Brown won the toss in the Championship match between Middlesex and Surrey at Lord's and for the second time in two matches this season, Middx were invited to bat first on a green wicket that gave even more assistance to the bowlers than its appearance hinted it would. Sam Robson (40) batted very sensibly for Middlesex, but could not prevent the hosts declining to a dismal 129 for 7. Fortunately for Middlesex, Dawid Malan was also batting extremely capably and he found a useful partner in Tim Murtagh (31) as the pair added 53 for the eighth wicket and, getting some help from nos 10 and 11, Toby Roland-Jones (spelt "Rowland" on the 80 pence scorecard) and Corey Collymore, Dawid was able to steer Middx to a respectable 256 before he was last man out for an excellent 88. The Surrey seamers collected nine of the wickets with Jade Dernbach (3 for 48) having the best figures, though new signing Jon Lewis (2 for 56) appeared to bowl equally well to me. Middx opening bowlers Murtagh and Collymore were soon causing problems for the Surrey openers Jacques (actually Jacobus) Rudolph (spelt "Rudolf" on the scorecard) and Steve Davies, but the batsmen survived and had put on a more than useful 85 before Rudolph (45) changed the game by essaying a wild yahoo in Ollie Rayner's first over of off-spin and getting himself stumped by a distance. Davies followed for a fine 62 and the Surrey innings slowly subsided against Roland-Jones (3 for 43) bowling faster than last year when he was troubled by injury and skipper Neil Dexter who returned the creditable figures of 3 for 23 with his medium paced dibbly-dobblers.
Middlesex gained a handy first innings lead of 34, but instead of turning this into a match winning position, some truly dreadful batting by the home team turned the visitors into the favourites to win. From the perimeter, the seamer friendly pitch seemed to have eased on day three, but in fact the bowlers prospered even more than they had done on days one and two as a scarcely credible nineteen wickets fell on the day and ten of those fell for 106 in a terrible 35 overs that constituted the Middlesex second innings. Sam Robson's 43 was the only highlight for Middlesex as the Surrey seamers again picked up nine wickets and this time Lewis got his just reward with 5 for 41. This left Surrey to get 141 for victory and though they were soon struggling at 22 for 3, Captain Rory with an excellent 63 appeared to be guiding his team over the finishing line, but Roland-Jones (4 for 25) and Murtagh (4 for 43) caused Surrey to collapse from 101 for 4 to 137 all out, giving Middlesex the win by 3 runs after thirteen overs had been bowled on day 4. Middlesex 21 points, Surrey 3 (one point deducted for a slow over rate).
At the beginning of the match, Jim Revier and I were wondering who Middlesex could possibly leave out in order to get Andy Strauss into the side, but by the end of the game, there were plenty of candidates. Only Robson (48.6), Malan (41.2) and Murtagh (40.67) have acceptable batting figures, while Chris Rogers averages 18.83, Joe Denly has only one score above 10 and just consider the Championship scores made by Neil Dexter (8,6,1,0); John Simpson (15,2,0,9); Gareth Berg (7,1,11,1) and Ollie Rayner (14,3,2,7). Meanwhile, Scott Newman averages 45 for Kent. In fact, Middlesex might have more trouble accommodating Steve Finn as the bowlers have done well so far and the most likely candidate to step down, TSRJ, has 12 wickets for 222 this season.
Jim said he might write to you about the afternoon teas being advertised at Lord's, but just in case he has not done so, I would not want you to miss out on this excellent bargain. Jim spotted an advertisement (in the gents' loo) for afternoon tea and a tour of the pavilion and asked me how much I thought it might cost and knowing that nothing is cheap at Lord's, especially in the pavilion, I guessed a completely over the top tenner per head. I just could not stop laughing when he told me that the cost was actually £38 per head! And it was not just £38, it was from £38 and (get this) "or £76 for two"!
It was interesting to read that Gareth Berg, Middlesex's South African born but England qualified allrounder, is now an Italian international courtesy of his maternal grandparents.
Middlesex have axed skipper Dexter for the Durham game (sorry, Neil has decided to stand down temporarily) and C Rogers takes over. You might recall my stating that it would be daft to reappoint Dexter and that Rogers should be in charge. Collymore is "rested" after two matches, even though Bergy is doubtful with a chest infection; Straussy, Finny and Crooky are all in the squad.
For the third consecutive Championship match, Middlesex lost the toss against Durham at Lord's and were asked to bat on a green wicket, but there was no further action after the toss on day 1 owing to the weather. I was surprised to see that Neil Dexter was included in the Middlesex team having heard the night before that he was standing down; Chris Rogers is skippering the side, but in the end, Dexy was preferred to Ollie Rayner, leaving Middlesex without a spinner (unless you count our quartet of leggies: Denly, Malan, Robson and Rogers), in contrast to Durham, who brought in an extra spinner, Scott Borthwick, to partner Ian Blackwell. Andy Strauss came into the Middx side, Gareth Berg was passed fit and Steve Finn replaced Corey Collymore.
On day 2, after waiting 24 hours to begin his innings, Straussy lost his off stump to Graham Onions to the second ball of the match and was soon followed back to the pavilion by Denly, Robson and Rogers as Middlesex slumped to 2 for 3 and then 28 for 4. Dawid Malan (35) did his best to retrieve the situation in a partnership of 55 with a surprisingly fluent Dexter (65 from 84 balls with 13 fours), while John Simpson got his head down for an unbeaten 25, but 188 all out was a poor total even allowing for the seamer friendly conditions. Onions finished with thoroughly deserved figures of 6 for 45.
It looked as if Durham were batting on a different strip as Mike di Venuto (30) and Will Smith (29) put on 59 in just over an hour for the first wicket, but gradually the Middlesex pace bowlers got a grip on proceedings with only Ben Stokes (45 off 54 balls) looking comfortable until Borthwick (33*) and Onions (20 all in boundaries) added an irritating but entertaining 44 for the last wicket in 27 minutes. Steve Finn (3 for 55) and Gareth Berg (3 for 56) were the most successful bowlers, but the visitors had taken a valuable lead of 50 on first innings. This lead looked huge as Middlesex collapsed again to 91 for 8, with only skipper Rogers (36) showing the necessary technique against the moving ball. However, Simpson (47 off 69 balls) and Tim Murtagh (45 off 50 balls) compiled a fine stand of 82 in 15 overs for the ninth wicket before Middx were all out for 179 (Onions 4 for 28 and 10 for 73 in the match), leaving Durham only 130 to win. This looked easy for Durham, but yet another rain delay of two hours or so came to the rescue of Middx and left Durham needing 122 off 16 overs with all wickets standing. When Di Venuto (29 off 26 balls) and skipper Phil Mustard (25* off 35 balls) were together it looked as if they might do it, but Finn (4 for 43) took four quick wickets and it looked briefly as if Middlesex had a chance of a shock win, but the visitors held on for the draw at 82 for 6.
Keepers Mustard and Simpson both took four second innings catches to add to two in the first innings. Middlesex have been unlucky to lose the toss in all three of their Championship matches so far this season, but even taking this into account, the batting has been nowhere near good enough (no 9 Murtagh is top of the batting averages) and they are rather fortunate to have lost only one of those three games. Middlesex 6 points, Durham 7.
I have now seen Stokes bowl and actually he did not do too badly, but you could see the batsmen visibly relax when he came on to replace Onions or, to lesser extent, Thorp, who is accurate and moves it around, but at a fairly gentle pace. But perhaps this works in Stokes's favour? The batsmen know he is not in the same class as Onions so they relax and look for some easy runs, but then a good one can take them by surprise.
The wickets at Lord's this season have certainly been helping the seamers enormously, but they have not been the bright emerald colour that we saw a few times last season. Have they found a way of helping the pace bowlers without giving the game away with the colour of the pitch? Another point is that the pitch is not flattening out in the second half of the match as it has habitually done in recent seasons: one of the reasons for this is the cool, damp weather, but another factor is the ban on the use of the heavy roller after the start of the match. I do not, however, think that the pitch is kept "green" by rainfall as the hover cover is on the pitch at Lord's at record speed these days and, increasingly, I find that umpires are taking the players off before rain starts. The announcer always says this is because of "bad light", whatever the actual light is like, but the real reason (in my opinion) is that they are getting accurate information that it is about to piss down and the same applies to the (sometimes) inexplicable refusal to restart the game when conditions seem fine: they do not want to take the covers off because they are being told that rain is imminent. I think this is entirely sensible, but they ought to be honest about it.
Notes from a Cold Day at the Oval
Paddy Carlin got the season off to a flier on the first day
I attended the first day of county cricket in 2012 between Suirrey and Sussex at the Oval.The Montpellier Club was closed and so there was no sumptuous lunch and no alcohol. It was bloody cold and my first ever floodlit match. There were several absentees for Surrey-the PPS, Davies, Tremlett and last year’s leading wicket taker, Linley, who was amazingly r4eplaced by Dernbach, and for Sussex- Panesar, Prior and Wright. There were several debutants, all for Surrey-Jordan as an opening bat, Rudolph, Rory Burns as Wk and Jon Lewis.
Put into bat in grey lightenhanced by the floodlights the Surrey openers struggled. To the probable delight of Yorkshiremen Rudolph tried to run himself out and then was caught behind for a duck.The Sussex keeper, Brown, was really impressive all dayand looks at first glance to be better than Prior. Jordan was also out cheaply and he really does not look like an opener unless it is 20/20 matches.
Poor Ramps came in and he looks a shadow of his former self. Last year he only averaged around thirty and he couldn’t lay a bat on the left arm swing opf naved Goudal who was easily the best Sussex bowler. This really must be his last season. De Bruyn completed an excellent fifty with about ten fours and Hamilton-Brown livened things up with a shot a ball until he fell, like Bruyn, to an excellent catch by keeperBrown. This let in my favourite young batsman, Tom Maynard, who must get a test chance againstbthe West Indies this year. He batted beautifully and you must go and see himquickly before they give him a central contractand lock him away. BroBurnswn added 80 withhim until he he became another Brown victim.
The rest of the innings was the Maynard show as he moved to 86 not out. Sussex posted nine fielders on the boundary but he still found a way through. He would have reached his hundred and Surrey’s total would have bneen bigger but for brainless batting by the Surrey tail Batty, Meaker, Lewis and Dernbach.
Jon Lewis’ first ball for Surrey would have given him a wicket had it not been a no ball but he did not have to wait long before Joyce fell first ball to him. When run machine Goodwin was bowled by Dernbach Surrey were well on top. Amazingly Dernbach bowled another straight one and castled Wells. Maybe the tattooed South African can learn from this. I’d still rather see Linley and Tremlett in the side. Yardy looks like a Baseball hitter at the crease buthis strange stance does seem to get him runs.
Welwyn Garden City Matters
Mad man Nick Walker has moved to Yorkshire and will bemissed by some but not those with the spirit of cricket foremost in their minds. Gavin Baker is welcomed back from Northants andtwo South Africans have joined. The rest of the team is basically Herts, ex-herts or about to be Herts. One really pleasurable aspect of the new Home \counties Premier League season will be to see money bags Radlett in the second division, but I suspect not for long.
Revier Matters
Jim Revier sent me the following
Well we are into Surrey's 3rd home game of the season and I have yet to get to the Oval mainly because of the dreadful weather.I did however manage the first 2 days of the Middlesex/Surrey thriller at Lords.A great game of attritional cricket on a very friendly seamer's strip.
I was in the company of the GJM and he seemed to have brought a large part of his wardrobe with him to cope with the vastly different weather conditions we endured. The highlight was on Day two when he modelled the hood up anorak look together with shorts during a drop of rain.
I know the pricing structure at Lords is determined by MCC as opposed to their Middlesex tenants, which is why it is £16 to get into a county game as opposed to a tenner at the "out" grounds. However looking at their fixture list it seems that the cost of getting into the Eton/Harrow game is £17.Is the quality of the cricket higher at this game than a county game? Personally I'd guess that it would only be parents of the boys involved who would be interested in this fixture but this price would surely put off the casual visitor. However I have heard that a number of the media's political correspondents put in an appearance to get a look at what the Conservative government of 2045 will look like.
During the lunch break on Day One the GJM made his yearly trip to the Middlesex shop to purchase the 2nd X1 annual and Playfair. Whilst in there he noticed that Wisden was on sale at £35 (15 quid off the cover price) .His perambulation next took him to the MCC shop where the very same Wisden was on sale at the full price. Do you reckon they sell any in there ?
My own lunchtime stroll took me to the urinals at the Nursery End where whilst you wait for your bladder to engage you can read the MCC adverts displayed on the walls .My eye was taken by the prospect of afternoon tea in the Pavilion with a tour of the pavilion included. Price ? well Jack guessed a tenner but was highly amused to hear the actual price of £38.Further research at www.afternoontearipoffs.com revealed other prices including Fortnum & Mason £34,Harrods £26,Waldorf £23.50 and Park Lane £33.Only the Ritz £42 and somewhere called the Lanchester ( owned by the somewhat dodgy Barclay brothers, Sark residents and Daily Torygraph proprietors ) came in above Lords at £96.Lords price also was "from" £38 ,so presumably you can pay a bit more if you fancy a pasty with your tea.
Compton Matters
I asked Harry Compton whether he had seen Middlesex at Taunton and was delighted to receive the following back from him
Sorry I don’t go near the Somerset ground these days. Sky and Googlies satisfies my appetite. I was fortunate to live for twenty years by the county ground next door to the groundsman during the days of Botham and Richards. I often used to see Alan Huntley, my mentor at South Hampstead, when he used to use the indoor school for his village team’s pre-season. It was also fortunate that my son Denis played for the county 2nd XI from the age of 15 until he was 25. His forte was slow left arm, but he could not get a contract even though he had several notable victims including Robin Smith. But he grew and lost the loop! He scored several hundreds at club level and contributed to both Minehead and Taunton winning the Somerset Premier League. I like to think he would have made South Hampstead first eleven.
Denis is chairman of Minehead golf club and last year managed to organize a charity day to include many past Somerset players including Viv Richards. Originally the great man’s manager wanted £1000 for him to appear. But when he heard it was for junior sport in the area, Viv waived his fee. This may have been prompted by both my sons entertaining them in true Compton tradition at a local pub to the early hours. Lets hope Middlesex keep sending Somerset their best rejects!
King Cricket’s men to watch in 2012
Right, let’s get this over with.
First, let’s restate the qualification criteria:
Qualified to play for England
No established internationals
Youngish
Playing in the first division of the County Championship
Think that’s it. There might be other things. Who knows? Presumably us, but we don’t like to scrutinise the workings of our own mind in case we damage it. We reserve the right to apply further criteria later on if we feel like it.
Nick Compton, Somerset
Nick Compton was actually one to watch way back in 2007, but he didn’t really drink from the cup of runs quite as we’d predicted. We’re not entirely sure why he’s returned this year. Maybe because he’s a pretty dour batsman. In a side featuring Trescothick, Hildreth, Buttler and Kieswetter, we’re obviously going to watch the guy who inches along at 1.5 runs an over. It’s less distracting.
Steven Croft, Lancashire
We always pick at least one Lancashire player and it’s actually not because we’re biased. No, really, it isn’t. Even from an unbiased point of view we’d pick a Lancashire player each year. They just happen to have a lot of people who fit the criteria at the minute. Anyway, we’ve decided to drop Oliver Newby in the hope that this gets him back in the team and we’ve replaced him with Steven Croft who always seems to score 62 when Lancashire don’t make it to 200. This, to us, is a good sign.
Steven Davies, Surrey
Surrey like to import their players and frankly we were a bit irritated with them having kept England’s next wicketkeeper out of the first division for the last few years. Thankfully, they’ve been promoted, so we can start watching him again. Davies is a ‘one to watch’ veteran of 2008 and 2009. Both were mediocre vintages. They’ve all been mediocre vintages. That’s half the point.
Joe Denly, Middlesex
Sod it. Why not? It’s Denly or come up with someone new and you know how we feel about that kind of thing (we’ll go on the record and admit that ‘ones to watch’ selection has been a bit slapdash this year). Joe Denly’s nickname’s No Pants and he’s been one to watch before so we won’t have to remember another name. It’s good enough for us. Bit irritated about having to look for him in a different team now, but we’re sure we’ll be in the swing of things by August.
Paul Horton, Lancashire
2009, 2010 and 2011. He’s never quite made it worth our while, but our reasoning remains the same: surely someone in the Lancashire side has to score some runs sooner or later. We’re still pretty sure that Paul Horton’s most likely.
Simon Kerrigan, Lancashire
Yes, okay, it’s another Lancastrian, but come on – he’s worth watching. You know what? We don’t care anyway. It’s our website. You want to spend your time squinting to make out the stumpy figure of James Taylor along with everyone else, be our guest. Pretty sure there’ll be plenty of fawning articles peppered with the word ‘class’ to keep you occupied all summer long. We’ll be watching Simon Kerrigan taking stacks of wickets for the second XI while Gary Keedy whirdles away for another season. And yes, ‘whirdles’ is a word. Okay, maybe it isn’t. We’re just getting a bit snappy and defensive. Sorry, we don’t mean it. Well, we do a bit, but it’s not you specifically. We’re just a bit tired and irritable and we haven’t eaten for a few hours and we get tetchy when our blood sugar’s low.
Ben Stokes, Durham
Best crack on, eh? Nearly there. We said Ben Stokes would be fully amazing last year. And he was. Then he played for England and he wasn’t. We haven’t actually asked anyone about this, but we’re pretty sure everyone thinks he’s rubbish now. He isn’t. Watch. Unless he’s rubbish, in which case don’t.
The end. Thank God that’s over
South Hampstead Dinner
I asked both Bill Hart and Robin Ager if they would like to report on the South Hampstead dinner. Bill replied that he had been ill and so had had to drop out. I received the following from Robin
Thanks, but if you think I'm going to provide a scoop for Googlies - I've heard about you journos - you've come to the wrong man. If there was any gossip/scandal worth reporting, I didn't hear it.
In fact, if you can cast your mind back to last year's dinner, you will have a pretty good idea of this one, albeit with a slightly smaller attendance (40?). And the absence of W Hart, and the rather depressing litany of the departed (Len, Russell, Dipak, Brian Fuller and Peter Ray) and distressed (Don) made for a more sombre occasion. The food, by the same people as last year's, was again first rate and, at £30, the dinner is remarkably good value. I particularly enjoy the gathering at Bob's house, and I am happy to support the club, but there must be a question mark about the continuation of the Dinner in its current form.
Wood matters
Tony Wood sent me the following
Thank you for the latest edition of G&C. Always makes me even more homesick as I ride the bus into or out of Sydney (Oz) reading the very humorous offerings from the Prof and your other contributors! Peter Ray was a friend and cricketer who I greatly respected.
Overson Matters
In the last edition the Great Jack morgan announced his retirement from writing reports for inclusion in the winter editions. I like them and asked for support to encourage him to reconsider his position. I received the following from Chris Overson
I am a relatively newcomer to the excellent Googlies but, in answer to your question, I would just like to say that I enjoy Jack Morgan’s musings and would vote for their retention. I would however like to know more about the wild parties he mentions with any ‘photos available.
Locke Matters
Ronnie Locke sent me the following
I am one of the receivers of Googlies and Chinamen. Although I am a
Lancashire member, and played all my cricket in the Manchester Association
and Cheshire County League I enjoy hearing about club cricket in the south.
I knew Roger Pearman and Ian Jerman well, doing battle against them many
times, and playing alongside them in representative cricket.
It is good to hear from readers who don’t know the principal contributors and I am always happy to publish their thoughts
Irate of Hampton
The Great Jack Morgan copied me in on this letter to the editor
Andrew Miller thinks that England employed a "three spin attack" at Galle for the first time since 1987/88, but I think that England twice selected three spinners in India in the early months of 1993. If Andrew is ignoring these examples on the grounds that Graeme Hick was not a regular bowler, then I have to disagree because on that tour Hick was a regular bowler. Only two other bowlers bowled marginally more overs than Hicky in the three Tests and Graeme outshone all the other bowlers, quick and slow alike, to take the most wickets in the series and easily top the bowling averages (and the batting averages), 16.5 ahead of Paul Jarvis. Hick played in the Second Test alongside Phil Tufnell and Ian Salisbury and in the Third Test with Tufnell and John Emburey and comfortably outbowled his more illustrious team-mates.
Old Danes Gathering 2012
The 2012 Old Danes Gathering will be held on Friday 27 July. Once again Shepherds Bush CC have kindly agreed to host this event. The Gathering will take place between 2pm and 8pm and we hope to see as many Old Danes as can make it. Even if you can only pop in for an hour you will be warmly greeted and made to feel welcome. There will be a bar and food available throughout. Please let me know whether you plan to attend and I will circulate a list regularly between now and the event.
Football Matters
Ken Molloy sent me this example of one Mancunian Mein Host’s approach to equality:
Googlies and Chinamen
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