GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 116
August 2012
Out and About with the Professor
I don’t think I like Graeme Smith. Oh, I’m sure he is a warm and generous spirited individual and his mum loves him…but I don’t. My prejudice has a variety of foundations:
1. Cricket (not of course football) is the beautiful game. Left-handed batsmen in particular can be all grace and elegance at the crease. Elegant Smith ain’t. His style is all brutish bottom hand, shovelling almost every ball through mid wicket. He’s a sort of building site batsman. I don’t think you would cross the road to watch Smith bat; you wouldn’t have left your seat if Gower came in.
2. He is very, very good at it. I have seen him play in three tests in this country and his lowest score was his 131 at the Oval last week. He once wrecked a beautiful day for me at Headquarters and he did his best to do the same again at the Oval.
3. He hates getting out and I suspect he particularly hates getting out to Englishmen.
4. He is one of the few top-class cricketers born in South Africa who is not playing for England. (I might like him more then…might)
5. He doesn’t know how to spell “Graham” – in common with some other cricketers.
6. Well…I just don’t like him.
My day amid the concrete of the “Kia” Oval (would anyone buy a car after visiting the ground?) was hard going by anybody’s standards. The shovelling Smith batted all morning and half the afternoon until he somehow managed to play on to a ball from Bresnan off the inside edge. This seems a very odd way indeed for him to get out since he hardly ever shows the inside edge at all when he’s facing – even a forward defensive is three-quarter turned to leg to help with the cement mixing. I read the following day that just over 30 of his 131 runs went through the off side…but that sounds like an exaggeration…more like 3.
Happily Smith’s departure brought in the marvellous Jacques Kallis and we were also privileged to see Hashim Amla’s studious and impeccable test match innings playing off the back foot through the covers like a latter-day Mohammad Azharuddin. As for England’s bowlers, well, as we have said a number of times, when the ball is swinging Anderson is just about the last person you would want to face but when it isn’t the full length and brisk pace is ideal for top class batters (and shovellers) to get in and stay in. As for the rest of the much vaunted attack they were just that…vaunted (L. vanus…vain). Then when it came to bat it appeared that we couldn’t do that either. It was like being back in the UAE again. There are few changes for Headingley but the number 6 position remains a big problem. England haven’t sorted that out since Collingwood retirement (and even before that there were many –not myself – saying that he wasn’t worth his place). Is Bopara the right man? He has almost an excess of talent and I have seen him score test hundreds here and in the West Indies. But how can you get out to two such daft shots? I read that “Nass” thinks he is “just a bit dozy” – turns up at the airport without his passport, that sort of thing. Personally, I don’t mind what he does at airports but when he is batting for England – and to save the match - I want him to eschew doziness and emulate the shoveller. I doubt that he can. Taylor is the latest recruit…how will he manage against the quicks?
I’m not sure what to make of the Oval. It was always a scruffy ground but then, in the 1950s you could see the best cricket in the country. I used to go there with my school chum – two 9-year-olds with our sandwiches, a couple of buses, and a tube train from Shepherds Bush and back again in the evening (can you imagine parents letting such a thing happen now?). I still recall sitting at the front and an on-drive from Peter Barker Howard May crashing into the wall in front of us.
The stand that was erected in front of the pavilion 30 odd (??) years back was a piece of vandalism of the highest order brutalising the only attractive structure in the place. The “new” Vauxhall stand with its dramatic, but oddly off-centre swooping roof replaces some truly dire terracing but it is all brutal concrete and feels much more like a football ground than a cricket one. It does however have bars and decent facilities and, best of all, an excellent view. And I suppose the concrete would have made Smith feel at home.
Still on to the Athens of the North which is Leeds and, hopefully, a Headingley in which Andersen can get back to swinging. Then again…
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan keeps us updated on matters Middlesex
Tim Murtagh finally played a proper match for Ireland against Afghanistan, but did not really shine (0-39), though he was one of only three to make double figures (15). On the same day, Ollie Wilkin (from Ealing and Loughborough) made his first team debut for Middlesex in a T20 at Chelmsford. He made 4 batting at no 9, but rather starred in the field with 3 for 12 (the 8th bowler used) and two catches. He has apparently been injured and did not play for Loughborough this season. Wilkin held his place for the Surrey game, but surprisingly did not get a bowl (though eight others did), but played a big part (in a partnership of The Two Ollies) in steering Middlesex to victory by one wicket from the depths of 106 for 7 with 28 off 18 balls.
Middlesex lost yet another toss in the Championship match against Nottinghamshire at Uxbridge and, of course, they were asked to bat first on a pitch that looked sure to assist the Notts seam quartet of Ben Phillips, Harry Gurney, Andre Adams and Andy Carter. As expected, Middlesex were soon in trouble and sank to 34 for 5, though poor batting was as much to blame as a helpful track. Andrew Strauss (50 off 97 balls), however, was holding firm and when he was joined by Gareth Berg (32) a promising stand of 63 for the sixth wicket developed, but just as optimism was taking hold, Middlesex plummeted from 97 for 5 to 98 all out in the blink of an eye. The Middlesex tail was not a particularly weak one and it was astonishing that the last five wickets should crumble while only one run was added. Kiwi Test player Adams was the star turn for Notts with 6 for 32.
The Notts reply was far less dramatic as Mike Lumb (50 off 120 balls) shared a stand of 59 with Riki Wessels (34) for the second wicket and laid a sound foundation for Aussie ODI International Adam Voges (105 off 176 balls with 11 fours) and skipper Chris Read (71 off 112 balls) to add an impressive 143 for the sixth wicket and guide the visitors on to 329 all out, a lead of 231. Seamers Tim Murtagh (4 for 87) and Toby Roland-Jones (4 for 102) bowled well, but it was asking too much for them to repeat the success enjoyed by the Notts attack. John Simpson held four catches behind the stumps. On day 3, Middlesex made a much better start to their second innings as Sam Robson (26) helped Strauss add 55 for the first wicket and then skipper Chris Rogers (59 off 101 balls with 8 fours) gave Straussy even better assistance as the pair put on 143 (equalling the best stand of the Notts innings) before Rogers fell with the score on 198, just after Andy had reached his century. Strauss enjoyed a splendid match and closed on 127* off 205 balls with 13 fours and a six (taking his average for the season up to 62 after a poor start) and was particularly severe on the left arm spin of Samit Patel. Middx ended day 3 on 239 for 2, a lead of 8, but that was the end of the match as no play was possible on the last day. Time had been lost on each of the first three days of the match, but no blame attaches to the ground staff as they did brilliantly to keep the playing area in good condition during some very wet weather, while Wellington boots were advisable for strolling the perimeter and the waterlogged car park had to be closed. Middx 6 points, Notts 9.
I have only just discovered that we did indeed lose that poxy match at Chester-le-Street (Durham's first win of the season!) and so gathered only the three bowling points. Terribly disappointing... and watch out for the trapdoor, things can change around very quickly.
Chesterfield Matters
The Professor and I both made our debuts at Chesterfield for the second division top of the table clash between Derbyshire and Yorkshire. Despite the appalling recent weather and overcast conditions play was scheduled to begin on time. Phil Jaques was captaining Yorkshire in Andrew Gale’s absence and when he won the toss and elected to bat the locals all burst out laughing. But he had obviously seen the Derbyshire bowlers before and Palladino, in orange boots, served up some half volleys and wayward deliveries which soon had Lyth and Root feeling comfortable at the crease. Groenewald bowled at the other end and when he eventually settled on the required line and length for the conditions he removed both openers. This brought Jonny Bairstow to the crease to join Jaques who mixed uncharacteristic slogs with dour defence. Bairstow made some powerful blows but was then given not out to a snick behind which infuriated the fielders. It’s as well Joey Barton wasn’t at first slip. However, Palladino returned to the attack, Bairstow played back and was comprehensively bowled.
The umpires took the players off an over before lunch and were vindicated when a cloudburst ensued and soaked everyone’s sandwiches. Somewhat surprisingly play restarted at 2.15 and Jaques and Ballance took the score to a respectable175 for 3. At this point the nippy Turner was re-introduced into the attack and he had Ballance caught behind. In his next over McGrath tried to get out for the first three balls and eventually managed a snick off the fourth. Then Pyrah also fell to Turner before Jaques slogged at Durston only to top edge a simple catch. 175 for 3 became 185 for 8 when Rafiq helped an innocuous delivery to backward cover. This inept batting was soon matched by inept fielding as catches were spilled whilst Harmison, now of Yorkshire, and Patterson slogged it around. Eventually skipper Madsen caught them both and Yorkshire were all out for 219 in 56 overs.
Lunch at Chesterfield
By now the sun was out and some very pleasant cricket watching conditions were enjoyed but the farcical antics continued. Harmison was given the new ball and proceeded to deliver a couple of Brisbane balls amongst a series of more orthodox wides. The crowd were in hysterics and Yorkshire must have been wondering what they had let themselves in for. The Derbyshire score was rattling along with Lineker playing some pleasant shots in among the extras, but when Patterson offered Madsen a wide long hop he obligingly helped it to cover. Ashraf disposed of the left handers Khawaja and Redfern whilst Lineker was bowled by Pyrah and Derbyshire had been reduced to 80 for 4.
Jaques then brought Harmison on at the pavilion end for a second spell of wides. Derbyshire could have done with the long handle, literally. But Durston managed to reach one only to edge to second slip and Clare used his reach to also find the edge. Wainwright then brought the house down when he helped a gentle long hop straight down long leg’s throat. The umpires generously only called ten of Harmison’s deliveries as wides but a more severe approach would have called most of them. Extraordinarily he finished with 3 for 49 from nine overs. He further entertained the crowd by slinging the ball at Durston in a futile attempt to run him out and then by changing right footed boots with Patterson in mid over.
Afternoon sun at Chesterfield
Play continued till 7pm to make up for the rain break but it was to be the only play of the match as further deluges wiped out the following scheduled three days.
Carling matters
Paddy Carling sent me the following
I can fully sympathise with the Great jack Morgan regarding the dearth of cricket to watch. The next game at Lord’s is on September 4th and it coincides with a game at the Oval. They really must stop doing this because a great number of the old farts like me go to both venues regularly. This season I paid for Middlesex membership and two test match tickets at a total cost of £300 and will attend six days of Lord’s cricket in return. This assumes that the South Africa match and the Sept 4th match take place. The rain god has made this very bad value. Maybe I can look forward to few more days at the Oval and my annual trip to Cheltenham in July although the forecast makes this overly optimistic.
Following Tom Maynard’s tragic death there is doom and gloom at the Oval- a feeling that I share. He was easily the best and most entertaining young batsman I have seen in recent years and was responsible for about 50% of my pleasure every time I went to the Oval. His best friend and housemate, Rory Hamilton-Brown, must be devastated and it is no surprise to see him needing to take a break from the game. He found the captaincy stressful enough. He looks to me to be a probable future England captain if he made the normal improvement so let’s hope that he can get back to playing soon.
WGCCC’s bad luck with overseas players has struck again. A few years ago we paid for Mitchell Claydon to come over and bowl for us only for him to decamp first to Yorkshire and then rapidly on to Durham. And no he hjas never made any attempt to pay the club bak his fare. Feel free to boo him when you next see Durham.
This year our player is Johann Myburgh, who played for Hampshire last year but is now a resident in Twickenham. In his first game for us he scored 138 not out but was promptly given a T20 contract by Durham and now that de Venuto has gone he has a contract with them till the end of the season. Owais Shah has also played for us but injury and unavailability have scuppered our chances of the Home Counties League title.
This leads me to the mercenary nature of Premier league cricket and this has been prevalent in the Home Counties League because unlike many County Premier Leagues the clubs 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th teams do not compete within the same structure as the firsts which leads to a club within a club. There are often different practice nights and it can seem thatsecond teamers and below never get to see the first team elite. If the first team are minor county players then they will leave immediately after the Saturday match for their three day game starting on the Sunday. The standard of first team cricket has improved markedly but the skill levels between first and second teams is close to unbridgeable.
To counteract this seeming body blow to club spirit is that WGCCC is well and truly a family club and I wonder if any other clubs could boast such parental support for its first eleven. At WGCCC we have in attendance at most games: Louis Champion’s mum and dad, Jamie Hewitt’s dad, Shaun Levy’d dad, Matt Hills’ dad, Jamie Southgate’s mum and dad, Gavin Baker’s mum, Paul barker’s dad, Simon Greenall’s mum and dad, Liam Mitchell’s dad and Alex Chalker’s dad. Tere must be something in the air at WGCCC because three plyers who recently left the club, Simon White, , Nick Lamb and Andy Nolan were also almost always watched by their parents. There is actually a better parental turnout at first team games than at colts matches, where, of course, cricket is often seen as useful babysitting.
The twenty, forty and fifty over formats were introduced to make cricket more exciting but it appears that in about fifty per cent of occasions the reverse is true. Too often I turn up to watch a Sunday league game (Chase Valley and North Herts Village competitions) and the game proves to be far from exciting for both players and spectators. If the side batting first scores an ungettable total or the side batting secondgets off tom a bad start then the last twenty overs, which must be bowled, are often irredeemably tedious. The result is known and everyone goes though the motions with joke bowling and lackadaisical fielding. It was much better when a declaration could be made and/or a side could battle for a draw with bowlers trying hard and fielders clustered round the bat.
I sometimes wonder if there would be a one day audience for the sort of league cricket format in premier leagues. Side A can bat for about 65 overs max( long enough not to slog wildly) and side B can have a min of 55 overs back.Games start at 11am and finish at 7pm and youknow the result on the day. Yes there would be several draws but there are too in three, four and five day cricket. I would rather watch this than an average 40 or 50 over game with all the artificial powerplay/field restriction rules. The side winning most games would win the league.
Sofa Cricket
Hampshire v Surrey T20
I plonked myself down to watch the T20 encounter between Hampshire and Surrey at the Ageas Bowl expecting big scores on what Paul Allott described as the best wicket he had ever seen. Ten minutes later it was all over as Surrey slumped to 9 for 4 and they only accumulated 94 for 6 by the end of their twenty overs. Hampshire strolled to victory with over four overs to spare. Surrey used the excuse that they were still in the mourning period for Tom Maynard. These are highly paid professional sportsmen and they are short changing the paying public who will stop being sympathetic soon.
West Indies v New Zealand T20
The USA staged its first international cricket match when the West Indies hosted New Zealand in a T20 match at Lauderhill, Fort Lauderdale. New Zealand won the toss, put the West Indies and probably thought things were going their way as they restricted them sixty odd after ten overs. They had even dismissed Dwayne Smith in the process and enjoyed further success when Charles was caught. However, there are some players that you don’t want to get to the crease in this form of the game and Kieron Pollard is definitely one of them. He despatched his first ball way over long on for six and went onto reach 63 not out from 29 deliveries including five fours and five sixes. Pollard is ideally suited to this form of the game. He either blocks or hits. In either case he doesn’t run. All of his hits are intended to be sixes and he just waits at the crease to see whether they will clear the boundary or simply be four. Meanwhile at the other end Gayle had been biding his time. As I discussed last month he thinks that twenty overs is plenty of time and even after a slow start, in this case he had reached a pedestrian 25 after ten overs, he started to cream a few sixes and ended up with 85 not out without ever having broken a sweat. New Zealand stood no chance of chasing down 210 to win and fell 57 short. West Indies employed two of their new brand of funny slow bowlers, Badree and Narine, and none of the batsmen seemed able to read them.
The following day they did the whole thing again. West Indies won the toss and batted. Mills added some backbone to the New Zealand bowling and nobody really took the bowling apart, that is until Dwayne Bravo scored 35 from just eleven deliveries which took the final score to 177 for 5. Gayle clocked a pedestrian 53 from 39 balls. Narine and Badree created more havoc than the previous day and New Zealand struggled to 116 all out.
Anyone who thinks that Gayle is just a lucky slogger should take note of his first two innings in the ensuing 50 over ODI series. In the first he scored 63 not out from 57 balls with five sixes and in the second he scored125 not out from 107 balls with nine sixes. He has demonstrated that these short forms of the game are not a rush for batsmen who are confident of hitting regular sixes throughout their innings. Runs can be accumulated around the big hits and substantial scores can be compiled.
Lancashire v Middlesex T20
I easily persuaded myself not to go to this event as it rained for much of the day and I was surprised to see any play at all. Middlesex were put in and had to deal with rain interruptions in their reduced quota of sixteen overs. Denly’s recent run fest came to a halt and his attempts to make contact with the ball were so embarrassing that it was a relief to all when he was eventually stumped for 7 from 20 balls. On the other hand Malan started on a spell which has continued through the rest of July. He scored 48 whilst only Ollie Rayner with 14 of the rest of side reached double figures. 97 never looked likely to be enough and another rain interruption helped Lancashire with the ensuing wet ball and a reduced target. Stephen Croft did most damage and he has been included in England’s thirty for the T20 World Cup.
Nottinghamshire v Hampshire 40 overs
By the time I started watching this match Notts were well on their way to chasing down Hampshire’s 230 after Hales and Wessels had got them off to a flyer. Taylor and Patel seemed under no pressure to go hard and it was somewhat surprising that they both got themselves out before the job was done. Nevertheless they won with three overs to spare which is a comfortable and substantial margin. Taylor looked very classy in making 74 from 83 balls scoring runs all round the wicket.
Essex v Middlesex 40 overs
I got back from Chesterfield in time to see the end of the Essex innings when Wheater and Mickleburgh lifted Essex from a hopeless 89 for 6 to an almost respectable 146 for 7 in their 25 overs. I then settled back to see how Middlesex would contrive to humiliate themselves in reply. They seemed well on course in the opening overs in which Masters and Napier bowled tight lines and Rogers and Malan struggled to make contact let alone score freely. However, Rogers then struck Masters for a huge six over mid wicket and Middlesex started to up the tempo. Runs started to come freely and it seemed as if Middlesex would win by ten wickets but Rogers holed out at 136 which brought Tom Scollay to the crease to finish the job with Malan, who was 76 not out.
As if to prove that this was no fluke, four days later Rogers and Malan reached 218 for 0 to beat Gloucester at Cheltenham. Rogers was 122 not out and Malan 89 not out. Malan hit four sixes and is getting the Gayle message.
England v South Africa test match
This match is bringing some home truths. The England batting line up is sensational against mediocre bowling on good wickets, but even then it has often been rescued by runs down the order. After Strauss, Cook and Trott no one can be depended on to score big runs. Against class bowling they all looked vulnerable. They also showed that they cannot adapt their game with Pietersen, Bell, Bopara and Prior all giving their wickets away in one or both innings.
If conditions at Headingly favour the England bowlers more than the Oval did, then I suspect that Philander will be a handful too. Whatever the England camp say Broad was not fit to bowl in a five day match. He is always injured and needs to bowl more rather than less. But we can be sure he will not be turning out for Notts between now and the second test. On the showing of the Oval England need a fifth bowler and that is not a part timer like Bopara. They are clearly not confident enough in their batting to leave one out.
Remembering Bob Proctor
George sent me the following
By 1967 Don Palmer had given up trying to get me fit enough to play for the 1st Xl soccer team at SCD and so I found true contentment playing for the 2nd Xl under the slightly rakish eyes of Ron Weatherhead and his attractive wife. Ron drove a large black Bristol car, something of an early batmobile. I was fortunate to captain the 2nds in 1967. This was a happy and fairly successful team. Bob Proctor, Pugsley, was always a burly lad, very outward going, and a talented ball player. But at centre forward in this team he was a predatory striker.
On the cricket pitch Jim has already alluded to the earlier report of Pugsley’s six for the 1st Xl on to the chemistry building 2nd floor roof, hit off the London School’s off spinner, in 1966. I remember another occasion the following summer. We had a talented and aggressive batting line up, so in the pre-limited overs world it made sense to put the other team in to bat and then try to knock them off. I was sold on this approach after our first game, against Westminster I think, where a diminutive lad of about 14 came in at the death and blocked out for a draw for about half an hour.
A few weeks later we had a game in the Finchley area. I duly put the other team in to bat. They had one good player who made 70 odd. Needless to say he was also the captain and he didn’t declare until about half an hour after tea. So they had batted for over 3 hours for about 145 and left us a scant 90 minutes. ‘Block out, just show them’ said Kingdon (possibly eyeing a 25* by the end). ‘Not yet’, I said and put Pugsley in to open the batting with Bob Cozens. I can’t remember how many Puglsey made, but I do remember he hit it long and hard and we won with about 20 minutes to spare. On reflection Bob Cozens must have been one of our ‘allowed over 23 year old players’.
Sun Stopped Play
George reports on a major contest in the Dordogne
In the closely contested two day game at Pinadas in July, stand out performances on day one were George junior bowling Graham off stump and then caught-and-bowling his dad.
Monty's fielding was as sharp as ever, but he sometimes refused to wait for the batsmen to hit the ball. Experience has shown that he is best at square leg as that's where most of the big shots go. George junior stepped up a league on day two scoring 54 before lunch including 5 sixes and 4 fours, being particularly harsh on his mother's bowling. She finally got some revenge when she bowled him, but it had got so hot by then that we decided to call it a day.
Red Mist matters
At the beginning of the eighteenth over of the quarter final T20 match at Hove between Sussex and Gloucester James Fuller was recalled to bowl from the sea end. His first ball was a beamer which the keeper failed to collect and went for four byes. The umpire called this a no ball for height. His second was a respectable Yorker but Scott Styris had backed away to square leg and he squirted it down to fine leg for four. However, this time Fuller had overstepped the crease and it was called a free hit no ball. So the over had conceded 10 runs and there were still six balls to go.
Fuller decided to stick with the Yorker tactic but his free hit delivery was a low full toss which Styris swung away for an enormous six over the mid wicket score box. Fuller’s next ball was another full toss which was again despatched over the ropes by Styris. The third ball of the over was another Yorker which Styris missed as he again attempted to give himself room backing away to square leg.
With the fourth ball Fuller decided to change length and bowled a shorter delivery, following Styris as he again backed away. But this time he played a delicate cut at shoulder height which went to third man for four. Reverting to Yorkers with the fifth ball Fuller again overpitched and Styris muscled it over the ropes. The battered Fuller served up his sixth ball in the slot and Styris gratefully picked up a perfect on drive which almost carried to the English Channel.
The over cost 38 runs in total of which 32 were credited to Styris. He went on to complete a hundred in the final over of the innings. In all he hit 9 sixes and reached his 100 from 37 deliveries. In England only Andrew Symonds (34 balls) has scored a faster hundred.
Weird Matters
We can all recall the odd, unexplained circumstances which ended Banger’s international career and then Yardy suffered a similar plight. I speculated as to why Bopara had made himself unavailable for the second test and then heard from the Great Jack Morgan: “Do you think he has to go to the dentist? Or is he going away for the weekend? Or perhaps he has to take his mum shopping? It seems a very odd time to be unavailable: if Taylor does well, he could finish Ravi's Test career.”
Old Danes Gathering
The Old Danes Gathering was attended by a group of like minded individuals who were attempting to get as far away from the dreaded Olympics as possible. But first we had to negotiate the obstacle course that London has been turned into. Those living outside of London have no idea how disruptive the Olympics have been. I didn’t hear a positive word from anyone who lives down there. Bob Harvey attended for the first time and, to the delight of those who witnessed it, greeted the Great Jack Morgan with a complaint about a catch that he had dropped off his bowling some forty six years earlier.
Molloy Wisdom
Ken Molloy is always thinking of others and once again he offers invaluable advice
How to tell if you are in a Gay Bar:
Hope this was helpful?
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 116
August 2012
Out and About with the Professor
I don’t think I like Graeme Smith. Oh, I’m sure he is a warm and generous spirited individual and his mum loves him…but I don’t. My prejudice has a variety of foundations:
1. Cricket (not of course football) is the beautiful game. Left-handed batsmen in particular can be all grace and elegance at the crease. Elegant Smith ain’t. His style is all brutish bottom hand, shovelling almost every ball through mid wicket. He’s a sort of building site batsman. I don’t think you would cross the road to watch Smith bat; you wouldn’t have left your seat if Gower came in.
2. He is very, very good at it. I have seen him play in three tests in this country and his lowest score was his 131 at the Oval last week. He once wrecked a beautiful day for me at Headquarters and he did his best to do the same again at the Oval.
3. He hates getting out and I suspect he particularly hates getting out to Englishmen.
4. He is one of the few top-class cricketers born in South Africa who is not playing for England. (I might like him more then…might)
5. He doesn’t know how to spell “Graham” – in common with some other cricketers.
6. Well…I just don’t like him.
My day amid the concrete of the “Kia” Oval (would anyone buy a car after visiting the ground?) was hard going by anybody’s standards. The shovelling Smith batted all morning and half the afternoon until he somehow managed to play on to a ball from Bresnan off the inside edge. This seems a very odd way indeed for him to get out since he hardly ever shows the inside edge at all when he’s facing – even a forward defensive is three-quarter turned to leg to help with the cement mixing. I read the following day that just over 30 of his 131 runs went through the off side…but that sounds like an exaggeration…more like 3.
Happily Smith’s departure brought in the marvellous Jacques Kallis and we were also privileged to see Hashim Amla’s studious and impeccable test match innings playing off the back foot through the covers like a latter-day Mohammad Azharuddin. As for England’s bowlers, well, as we have said a number of times, when the ball is swinging Anderson is just about the last person you would want to face but when it isn’t the full length and brisk pace is ideal for top class batters (and shovellers) to get in and stay in. As for the rest of the much vaunted attack they were just that…vaunted (L. vanus…vain). Then when it came to bat it appeared that we couldn’t do that either. It was like being back in the UAE again. There are few changes for Headingley but the number 6 position remains a big problem. England haven’t sorted that out since Collingwood retirement (and even before that there were many –not myself – saying that he wasn’t worth his place). Is Bopara the right man? He has almost an excess of talent and I have seen him score test hundreds here and in the West Indies. But how can you get out to two such daft shots? I read that “Nass” thinks he is “just a bit dozy” – turns up at the airport without his passport, that sort of thing. Personally, I don’t mind what he does at airports but when he is batting for England – and to save the match - I want him to eschew doziness and emulate the shoveller. I doubt that he can. Taylor is the latest recruit…how will he manage against the quicks?
I’m not sure what to make of the Oval. It was always a scruffy ground but then, in the 1950s you could see the best cricket in the country. I used to go there with my school chum – two 9-year-olds with our sandwiches, a couple of buses, and a tube train from Shepherds Bush and back again in the evening (can you imagine parents letting such a thing happen now?). I still recall sitting at the front and an on-drive from Peter Barker Howard May crashing into the wall in front of us.
The stand that was erected in front of the pavilion 30 odd (??) years back was a piece of vandalism of the highest order brutalising the only attractive structure in the place. The “new” Vauxhall stand with its dramatic, but oddly off-centre swooping roof replaces some truly dire terracing but it is all brutal concrete and feels much more like a football ground than a cricket one. It does however have bars and decent facilities and, best of all, an excellent view. And I suppose the concrete would have made Smith feel at home.
Still on to the Athens of the North which is Leeds and, hopefully, a Headingley in which Andersen can get back to swinging. Then again…
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan keeps us updated on matters Middlesex
Tim Murtagh finally played a proper match for Ireland against Afghanistan, but did not really shine (0-39), though he was one of only three to make double figures (15). On the same day, Ollie Wilkin (from Ealing and Loughborough) made his first team debut for Middlesex in a T20 at Chelmsford. He made 4 batting at no 9, but rather starred in the field with 3 for 12 (the 8th bowler used) and two catches. He has apparently been injured and did not play for Loughborough this season. Wilkin held his place for the Surrey game, but surprisingly did not get a bowl (though eight others did), but played a big part (in a partnership of The Two Ollies) in steering Middlesex to victory by one wicket from the depths of 106 for 7 with 28 off 18 balls.
Middlesex lost yet another toss in the Championship match against Nottinghamshire at Uxbridge and, of course, they were asked to bat first on a pitch that looked sure to assist the Notts seam quartet of Ben Phillips, Harry Gurney, Andre Adams and Andy Carter. As expected, Middlesex were soon in trouble and sank to 34 for 5, though poor batting was as much to blame as a helpful track. Andrew Strauss (50 off 97 balls), however, was holding firm and when he was joined by Gareth Berg (32) a promising stand of 63 for the sixth wicket developed, but just as optimism was taking hold, Middlesex plummeted from 97 for 5 to 98 all out in the blink of an eye. The Middlesex tail was not a particularly weak one and it was astonishing that the last five wickets should crumble while only one run was added. Kiwi Test player Adams was the star turn for Notts with 6 for 32.
The Notts reply was far less dramatic as Mike Lumb (50 off 120 balls) shared a stand of 59 with Riki Wessels (34) for the second wicket and laid a sound foundation for Aussie ODI International Adam Voges (105 off 176 balls with 11 fours) and skipper Chris Read (71 off 112 balls) to add an impressive 143 for the sixth wicket and guide the visitors on to 329 all out, a lead of 231. Seamers Tim Murtagh (4 for 87) and Toby Roland-Jones (4 for 102) bowled well, but it was asking too much for them to repeat the success enjoyed by the Notts attack. John Simpson held four catches behind the stumps. On day 3, Middlesex made a much better start to their second innings as Sam Robson (26) helped Strauss add 55 for the first wicket and then skipper Chris Rogers (59 off 101 balls with 8 fours) gave Straussy even better assistance as the pair put on 143 (equalling the best stand of the Notts innings) before Rogers fell with the score on 198, just after Andy had reached his century. Strauss enjoyed a splendid match and closed on 127* off 205 balls with 13 fours and a six (taking his average for the season up to 62 after a poor start) and was particularly severe on the left arm spin of Samit Patel. Middx ended day 3 on 239 for 2, a lead of 8, but that was the end of the match as no play was possible on the last day. Time had been lost on each of the first three days of the match, but no blame attaches to the ground staff as they did brilliantly to keep the playing area in good condition during some very wet weather, while Wellington boots were advisable for strolling the perimeter and the waterlogged car park had to be closed. Middx 6 points, Notts 9.
I have only just discovered that we did indeed lose that poxy match at Chester-le-Street (Durham's first win of the season!) and so gathered only the three bowling points. Terribly disappointing... and watch out for the trapdoor, things can change around very quickly.
Chesterfield Matters
The Professor and I both made our debuts at Chesterfield for the second division top of the table clash between Derbyshire and Yorkshire. Despite the appalling recent weather and overcast conditions play was scheduled to begin on time. Phil Jaques was captaining Yorkshire in Andrew Gale’s absence and when he won the toss and elected to bat the locals all burst out laughing. But he had obviously seen the Derbyshire bowlers before and Palladino, in orange boots, served up some half volleys and wayward deliveries which soon had Lyth and Root feeling comfortable at the crease. Groenewald bowled at the other end and when he eventually settled on the required line and length for the conditions he removed both openers. This brought Jonny Bairstow to the crease to join Jaques who mixed uncharacteristic slogs with dour defence. Bairstow made some powerful blows but was then given not out to a snick behind which infuriated the fielders. It’s as well Joey Barton wasn’t at first slip. However, Palladino returned to the attack, Bairstow played back and was comprehensively bowled.
The umpires took the players off an over before lunch and were vindicated when a cloudburst ensued and soaked everyone’s sandwiches. Somewhat surprisingly play restarted at 2.15 and Jaques and Ballance took the score to a respectable175 for 3. At this point the nippy Turner was re-introduced into the attack and he had Ballance caught behind. In his next over McGrath tried to get out for the first three balls and eventually managed a snick off the fourth. Then Pyrah also fell to Turner before Jaques slogged at Durston only to top edge a simple catch. 175 for 3 became 185 for 8 when Rafiq helped an innocuous delivery to backward cover. This inept batting was soon matched by inept fielding as catches were spilled whilst Harmison, now of Yorkshire, and Patterson slogged it around. Eventually skipper Madsen caught them both and Yorkshire were all out for 219 in 56 overs.
Lunch at Chesterfield
By now the sun was out and some very pleasant cricket watching conditions were enjoyed but the farcical antics continued. Harmison was given the new ball and proceeded to deliver a couple of Brisbane balls amongst a series of more orthodox wides. The crowd were in hysterics and Yorkshire must have been wondering what they had let themselves in for. The Derbyshire score was rattling along with Lineker playing some pleasant shots in among the extras, but when Patterson offered Madsen a wide long hop he obligingly helped it to cover. Ashraf disposed of the left handers Khawaja and Redfern whilst Lineker was bowled by Pyrah and Derbyshire had been reduced to 80 for 4.
Jaques then brought Harmison on at the pavilion end for a second spell of wides. Derbyshire could have done with the long handle, literally. But Durston managed to reach one only to edge to second slip and Clare used his reach to also find the edge. Wainwright then brought the house down when he helped a gentle long hop straight down long leg’s throat. The umpires generously only called ten of Harmison’s deliveries as wides but a more severe approach would have called most of them. Extraordinarily he finished with 3 for 49 from nine overs. He further entertained the crowd by slinging the ball at Durston in a futile attempt to run him out and then by changing right footed boots with Patterson in mid over.
Afternoon sun at Chesterfield
Play continued till 7pm to make up for the rain break but it was to be the only play of the match as further deluges wiped out the following scheduled three days.
Carling matters
Paddy Carling sent me the following
I can fully sympathise with the Great jack Morgan regarding the dearth of cricket to watch. The next game at Lord’s is on September 4th and it coincides with a game at the Oval. They really must stop doing this because a great number of the old farts like me go to both venues regularly. This season I paid for Middlesex membership and two test match tickets at a total cost of £300 and will attend six days of Lord’s cricket in return. This assumes that the South Africa match and the Sept 4th match take place. The rain god has made this very bad value. Maybe I can look forward to few more days at the Oval and my annual trip to Cheltenham in July although the forecast makes this overly optimistic.
Following Tom Maynard’s tragic death there is doom and gloom at the Oval- a feeling that I share. He was easily the best and most entertaining young batsman I have seen in recent years and was responsible for about 50% of my pleasure every time I went to the Oval. His best friend and housemate, Rory Hamilton-Brown, must be devastated and it is no surprise to see him needing to take a break from the game. He found the captaincy stressful enough. He looks to me to be a probable future England captain if he made the normal improvement so let’s hope that he can get back to playing soon.
WGCCC’s bad luck with overseas players has struck again. A few years ago we paid for Mitchell Claydon to come over and bowl for us only for him to decamp first to Yorkshire and then rapidly on to Durham. And no he hjas never made any attempt to pay the club bak his fare. Feel free to boo him when you next see Durham.
This year our player is Johann Myburgh, who played for Hampshire last year but is now a resident in Twickenham. In his first game for us he scored 138 not out but was promptly given a T20 contract by Durham and now that de Venuto has gone he has a contract with them till the end of the season. Owais Shah has also played for us but injury and unavailability have scuppered our chances of the Home Counties League title.
This leads me to the mercenary nature of Premier league cricket and this has been prevalent in the Home Counties League because unlike many County Premier Leagues the clubs 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th teams do not compete within the same structure as the firsts which leads to a club within a club. There are often different practice nights and it can seem thatsecond teamers and below never get to see the first team elite. If the first team are minor county players then they will leave immediately after the Saturday match for their three day game starting on the Sunday. The standard of first team cricket has improved markedly but the skill levels between first and second teams is close to unbridgeable.
To counteract this seeming body blow to club spirit is that WGCCC is well and truly a family club and I wonder if any other clubs could boast such parental support for its first eleven. At WGCCC we have in attendance at most games: Louis Champion’s mum and dad, Jamie Hewitt’s dad, Shaun Levy’d dad, Matt Hills’ dad, Jamie Southgate’s mum and dad, Gavin Baker’s mum, Paul barker’s dad, Simon Greenall’s mum and dad, Liam Mitchell’s dad and Alex Chalker’s dad. Tere must be something in the air at WGCCC because three plyers who recently left the club, Simon White, , Nick Lamb and Andy Nolan were also almost always watched by their parents. There is actually a better parental turnout at first team games than at colts matches, where, of course, cricket is often seen as useful babysitting.
The twenty, forty and fifty over formats were introduced to make cricket more exciting but it appears that in about fifty per cent of occasions the reverse is true. Too often I turn up to watch a Sunday league game (Chase Valley and North Herts Village competitions) and the game proves to be far from exciting for both players and spectators. If the side batting first scores an ungettable total or the side batting secondgets off tom a bad start then the last twenty overs, which must be bowled, are often irredeemably tedious. The result is known and everyone goes though the motions with joke bowling and lackadaisical fielding. It was much better when a declaration could be made and/or a side could battle for a draw with bowlers trying hard and fielders clustered round the bat.
I sometimes wonder if there would be a one day audience for the sort of league cricket format in premier leagues. Side A can bat for about 65 overs max( long enough not to slog wildly) and side B can have a min of 55 overs back.Games start at 11am and finish at 7pm and youknow the result on the day. Yes there would be several draws but there are too in three, four and five day cricket. I would rather watch this than an average 40 or 50 over game with all the artificial powerplay/field restriction rules. The side winning most games would win the league.
Sofa Cricket
Hampshire v Surrey T20
I plonked myself down to watch the T20 encounter between Hampshire and Surrey at the Ageas Bowl expecting big scores on what Paul Allott described as the best wicket he had ever seen. Ten minutes later it was all over as Surrey slumped to 9 for 4 and they only accumulated 94 for 6 by the end of their twenty overs. Hampshire strolled to victory with over four overs to spare. Surrey used the excuse that they were still in the mourning period for Tom Maynard. These are highly paid professional sportsmen and they are short changing the paying public who will stop being sympathetic soon.
West Indies v New Zealand T20
The USA staged its first international cricket match when the West Indies hosted New Zealand in a T20 match at Lauderhill, Fort Lauderdale. New Zealand won the toss, put the West Indies and probably thought things were going their way as they restricted them sixty odd after ten overs. They had even dismissed Dwayne Smith in the process and enjoyed further success when Charles was caught. However, there are some players that you don’t want to get to the crease in this form of the game and Kieron Pollard is definitely one of them. He despatched his first ball way over long on for six and went onto reach 63 not out from 29 deliveries including five fours and five sixes. Pollard is ideally suited to this form of the game. He either blocks or hits. In either case he doesn’t run. All of his hits are intended to be sixes and he just waits at the crease to see whether they will clear the boundary or simply be four. Meanwhile at the other end Gayle had been biding his time. As I discussed last month he thinks that twenty overs is plenty of time and even after a slow start, in this case he had reached a pedestrian 25 after ten overs, he started to cream a few sixes and ended up with 85 not out without ever having broken a sweat. New Zealand stood no chance of chasing down 210 to win and fell 57 short. West Indies employed two of their new brand of funny slow bowlers, Badree and Narine, and none of the batsmen seemed able to read them.
The following day they did the whole thing again. West Indies won the toss and batted. Mills added some backbone to the New Zealand bowling and nobody really took the bowling apart, that is until Dwayne Bravo scored 35 from just eleven deliveries which took the final score to 177 for 5. Gayle clocked a pedestrian 53 from 39 balls. Narine and Badree created more havoc than the previous day and New Zealand struggled to 116 all out.
Anyone who thinks that Gayle is just a lucky slogger should take note of his first two innings in the ensuing 50 over ODI series. In the first he scored 63 not out from 57 balls with five sixes and in the second he scored125 not out from 107 balls with nine sixes. He has demonstrated that these short forms of the game are not a rush for batsmen who are confident of hitting regular sixes throughout their innings. Runs can be accumulated around the big hits and substantial scores can be compiled.
Lancashire v Middlesex T20
I easily persuaded myself not to go to this event as it rained for much of the day and I was surprised to see any play at all. Middlesex were put in and had to deal with rain interruptions in their reduced quota of sixteen overs. Denly’s recent run fest came to a halt and his attempts to make contact with the ball were so embarrassing that it was a relief to all when he was eventually stumped for 7 from 20 balls. On the other hand Malan started on a spell which has continued through the rest of July. He scored 48 whilst only Ollie Rayner with 14 of the rest of side reached double figures. 97 never looked likely to be enough and another rain interruption helped Lancashire with the ensuing wet ball and a reduced target. Stephen Croft did most damage and he has been included in England’s thirty for the T20 World Cup.
Nottinghamshire v Hampshire 40 overs
By the time I started watching this match Notts were well on their way to chasing down Hampshire’s 230 after Hales and Wessels had got them off to a flyer. Taylor and Patel seemed under no pressure to go hard and it was somewhat surprising that they both got themselves out before the job was done. Nevertheless they won with three overs to spare which is a comfortable and substantial margin. Taylor looked very classy in making 74 from 83 balls scoring runs all round the wicket.
Essex v Middlesex 40 overs
I got back from Chesterfield in time to see the end of the Essex innings when Wheater and Mickleburgh lifted Essex from a hopeless 89 for 6 to an almost respectable 146 for 7 in their 25 overs. I then settled back to see how Middlesex would contrive to humiliate themselves in reply. They seemed well on course in the opening overs in which Masters and Napier bowled tight lines and Rogers and Malan struggled to make contact let alone score freely. However, Rogers then struck Masters for a huge six over mid wicket and Middlesex started to up the tempo. Runs started to come freely and it seemed as if Middlesex would win by ten wickets but Rogers holed out at 136 which brought Tom Scollay to the crease to finish the job with Malan, who was 76 not out.
As if to prove that this was no fluke, four days later Rogers and Malan reached 218 for 0 to beat Gloucester at Cheltenham. Rogers was 122 not out and Malan 89 not out. Malan hit four sixes and is getting the Gayle message.
England v South Africa test match
This match is bringing some home truths. The England batting line up is sensational against mediocre bowling on good wickets, but even then it has often been rescued by runs down the order. After Strauss, Cook and Trott no one can be depended on to score big runs. Against class bowling they all looked vulnerable. They also showed that they cannot adapt their game with Pietersen, Bell, Bopara and Prior all giving their wickets away in one or both innings.
If conditions at Headingly favour the England bowlers more than the Oval did, then I suspect that Philander will be a handful too. Whatever the England camp say Broad was not fit to bowl in a five day match. He is always injured and needs to bowl more rather than less. But we can be sure he will not be turning out for Notts between now and the second test. On the showing of the Oval England need a fifth bowler and that is not a part timer like Bopara. They are clearly not confident enough in their batting to leave one out.
Remembering Bob Proctor
George sent me the following
By 1967 Don Palmer had given up trying to get me fit enough to play for the 1st Xl soccer team at SCD and so I found true contentment playing for the 2nd Xl under the slightly rakish eyes of Ron Weatherhead and his attractive wife. Ron drove a large black Bristol car, something of an early batmobile. I was fortunate to captain the 2nds in 1967. This was a happy and fairly successful team. Bob Proctor, Pugsley, was always a burly lad, very outward going, and a talented ball player. But at centre forward in this team he was a predatory striker.
On the cricket pitch Jim has already alluded to the earlier report of Pugsley’s six for the 1st Xl on to the chemistry building 2nd floor roof, hit off the London School’s off spinner, in 1966. I remember another occasion the following summer. We had a talented and aggressive batting line up, so in the pre-limited overs world it made sense to put the other team in to bat and then try to knock them off. I was sold on this approach after our first game, against Westminster I think, where a diminutive lad of about 14 came in at the death and blocked out for a draw for about half an hour.
A few weeks later we had a game in the Finchley area. I duly put the other team in to bat. They had one good player who made 70 odd. Needless to say he was also the captain and he didn’t declare until about half an hour after tea. So they had batted for over 3 hours for about 145 and left us a scant 90 minutes. ‘Block out, just show them’ said Kingdon (possibly eyeing a 25* by the end). ‘Not yet’, I said and put Pugsley in to open the batting with Bob Cozens. I can’t remember how many Puglsey made, but I do remember he hit it long and hard and we won with about 20 minutes to spare. On reflection Bob Cozens must have been one of our ‘allowed over 23 year old players’.
Sun Stopped Play
George reports on a major contest in the Dordogne
In the closely contested two day game at Pinadas in July, stand out performances on day one were George junior bowling Graham off stump and then caught-and-bowling his dad.
Monty's fielding was as sharp as ever, but he sometimes refused to wait for the batsmen to hit the ball. Experience has shown that he is best at square leg as that's where most of the big shots go. George junior stepped up a league on day two scoring 54 before lunch including 5 sixes and 4 fours, being particularly harsh on his mother's bowling. She finally got some revenge when she bowled him, but it had got so hot by then that we decided to call it a day.
Red Mist matters
At the beginning of the eighteenth over of the quarter final T20 match at Hove between Sussex and Gloucester James Fuller was recalled to bowl from the sea end. His first ball was a beamer which the keeper failed to collect and went for four byes. The umpire called this a no ball for height. His second was a respectable Yorker but Scott Styris had backed away to square leg and he squirted it down to fine leg for four. However, this time Fuller had overstepped the crease and it was called a free hit no ball. So the over had conceded 10 runs and there were still six balls to go.
Fuller decided to stick with the Yorker tactic but his free hit delivery was a low full toss which Styris swung away for an enormous six over the mid wicket score box. Fuller’s next ball was another full toss which was again despatched over the ropes by Styris. The third ball of the over was another Yorker which Styris missed as he again attempted to give himself room backing away to square leg.
With the fourth ball Fuller decided to change length and bowled a shorter delivery, following Styris as he again backed away. But this time he played a delicate cut at shoulder height which went to third man for four. Reverting to Yorkers with the fifth ball Fuller again overpitched and Styris muscled it over the ropes. The battered Fuller served up his sixth ball in the slot and Styris gratefully picked up a perfect on drive which almost carried to the English Channel.
The over cost 38 runs in total of which 32 were credited to Styris. He went on to complete a hundred in the final over of the innings. In all he hit 9 sixes and reached his 100 from 37 deliveries. In England only Andrew Symonds (34 balls) has scored a faster hundred.
Weird Matters
We can all recall the odd, unexplained circumstances which ended Banger’s international career and then Yardy suffered a similar plight. I speculated as to why Bopara had made himself unavailable for the second test and then heard from the Great Jack Morgan: “Do you think he has to go to the dentist? Or is he going away for the weekend? Or perhaps he has to take his mum shopping? It seems a very odd time to be unavailable: if Taylor does well, he could finish Ravi's Test career.”
Old Danes Gathering
The Old Danes Gathering was attended by a group of like minded individuals who were attempting to get as far away from the dreaded Olympics as possible. But first we had to negotiate the obstacle course that London has been turned into. Those living outside of London have no idea how disruptive the Olympics have been. I didn’t hear a positive word from anyone who lives down there. Bob Harvey attended for the first time and, to the delight of those who witnessed it, greeted the Great Jack Morgan with a complaint about a catch that he had dropped off his bowling some forty six years earlier.
Molloy Wisdom
Ken Molloy is always thinking of others and once again he offers invaluable advice
How to tell if you are in a Gay Bar:
Hope this was helpful?
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