GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 1
January 2003
Welcome
I have spent this winter exchanging emails with George (my brother) and The Professor (John Adams), on the subject of the tour to Australia. It seemed like a good idea to share some of these ideas with other cricketing buffs and I hope that you get some enjoyment from them. Three of the initial recipients of this missive (Messrs: Blaxall, Crawshay & Proctor) are currently located in Australia and so they might be able to throw a different light on things.
Please feel free to forward this document to other cricket lovers and let me have their email addresses so that I can include them on future mail-outs.
If you would like to contribute articles to future editions please send them to me, preferably in Word format, and I shall be pleased to include them.
Tour Madness
I have long held the opinion that something strange happens to English teams on tour. I think that it probably comes from spending too long sitting around in hotel rooms and bars, drinking lite beer. The recent tour to Australia has proved no exception and in fact has produced a bumper crop of examples of Tour Madness.
This plethora started before anyone had even shown a passport at Heathrow, when a number of players with long-term fitness problems were selected in the daft belief that they might become miraculously cured after a few days in the sun.
It could probably be also argued that the bureaucrats who determined the tour itinerary exhibited similar optimism as the opportunities for playing sensible practise matches were almost non-existent and within a few days of landing the first test was underway, but not before Nass showed what a dingbat he could be by putting the Aussies in! At the end of the first day they were 380 odd for 2 and never looked back. What strategic thinking could possibly have gone into so crass a decision?
I, unlike my brother, have enjoyed (sic) the facility of watching the games live on Sky television. It has frequently been the case that Ian Botham has become apoplectic over Nass’ field settings. On one occasion he said, “ I know what I would have told him if he had asked me to bowl to field like that”. The climax of Tour Madness was reached in this department when, presumably after a very heavy night on something or other, the quicks were asked to bowl in mid innings without a third man or fine leg to the obvious delight of the rampant Aussie batsmen!
An excellent example of how muddled tour thinking becomes was exhibited by both Nass and Fletcher who announced in mid-January that Steve Harmison was the “find of the tour”. This was shortly after two critical one-day games had been lost by a margin less than the no-balls and wides that he alone had conceded. The players have apparently nicknamed him GBH, which is truly ironic in that he rarely hits the strip let alone the batsman!
The Professor, who joined the tour over Christmas, sent us this report: “Harmison simply can't bowl straight. In the last innings at Sydney all you had to do was bowl line and length and let the exploding wicket do the rest - he took 1 for 40 odd in 9 overs. Why anyone should think he can bowl in One-Dayers I've no idea. It is exactly the type of cricket for which he is not suited. Hussain has as clear a judgement about this as he has about when to sweep”.
And so it went on from match to match with insane theories being put to the test and when they failed, they were persevered with! How about the ingenious idea of batting Big Ronnie at number three in the one-dayers? This humdinger was followed relentlessly despite his failure, discomfort and humiliation. Even when this blatant example of Tour Madness was finally abandoned the management kept it tucked away and in the second final of the VB series out he trotted again at number three! Since he scored 7, which was nearly twice as many as in the four previous outings put together, Nass may have put this stroke of Tour Madness down as a success!
The Professor sorts them out!
The Professor went to join the Barmy Army over Christmas and the England team’s fortunes immediately improved. This was his report on his return:
I don’t know what all the fuss was about. Won one, lost one when I was there, so series drawn!
A couple of observations you will doubtless agree with:
1. Hussain can’t set a field to save his life. It’s like a coaching book of “How not to do it”, e.g. an off-spin bowler (well Dawson) bowls to a left hander without anyone in the covers; White bowls round the wicket to Langer to a 7-2 field and then bumps into Key who is so straight at shortish mid off that he is in the way, etc etc…
2. Give or take Bangladesh, is there a weaker international attack than we had at Sydney?
3. How can Caddick give his wicket away (three times) with a recognised batsman going well at the other end?
Ø 4. How come a Test match ground of 100+ years standing can't produce a wicket that can last more than 3 days?
5. Since umpires need good eyesight and hearing why do we recruit them at the time when both these faculties are failing?
6. Had they had Warne and we'd had Underwood (as he is NOW) I'd have had two more sightseeing days in Sydney.
7. The Barmy Army and Michael Vaughan are about the best things to happen to English cricket in the last decade.
8. Jet-lag is a reality.
p.s. A couple of members I spent some time with thought that someone called "Crofty" should have been in the team.
The Professor is referring here to the Welsh Wizard, whom George and I are big fans of. He of the non-turning off-breaks and jaunty step. Just the man to sort Brett Lee out as a pinch hitter…
Its all about Leadership
My own view is that man for man the Aussies are not that much better and given a fair wind England can beat them, as indeed happened in each of the last two series. Warne and McGrath will rank amongst the greats and Gilchrist is probably already the best wicket keeper-batsmen of all time, but otherwise the skills player for player are not too dissimilar. I believe that the real difference is about leadership and the psychological effect good leadership has. I was speaking to Bob Peach about this but could not persuade him of my thesis.
I never doubt Nass’ commitment or desire to succeed, but he always seems manic and flustered. I can’t see him ever leading a really successful side. Contrast with Brearley who had the magic touch without being a great player himself.
Another noticeable aspect is how fit the Australians are-even the porkies-Warne, Symonds, and Hayden are looking decidedly slim. The Somerset boys, Trescothic and Blackwell, should take note.
The Domestic Game.
The Professor would never let me keep to frivolity for long before asking those deep penetrating questions. Here he tackles the entire structure of the domestic game in two paragraphs:
On the "future of English cricket", what do you think of the following: If the overriding objective is to improve the national side what
contribution does the money put into Minor counties and Second XI cricket make? Should we not abolish both, vastly reduce county playing staffs, and put the funds into club cricket at the top level and, perhaps, a county youth competition. Although I'm involved in a tangential way, I'm at a loss to understand what minor county cricket is for. When Cambridge beat Herts at our Club this year they did so because their ex 1st class player (Peter Such) was better than ours (David Ward). So what? We knew that before the
game started. What has that got to do with the national side?
And another thing! How does the Chairman of the England cricket selectors keep his job? How bad do you have to be at something before you get the sack? (A question I have often asked myself when looking at some university colleagues).
My response to this was:
Is the club level good enough to dispense with Minor counties &/or second XI above it? I am too far removed to have a comment these days. However, the Australian system produces good players by making every performance count, whereas you get the impression that there are far too many matches in the English season.
Surely we should do away with overseas players completely in the Championship. They are there to bring in the crowds but nobody watches the county championship games anyway. Middlesex, who got promoted, last year fielded Razaq, Noffke, Strauss & Koenig none of whom are English. They also fielded Joyce who is Irish....
Silly Soccer Observations
I am fascinated by the new trend for Black men and Frenchmen to wear gloves to play football in. The Professor was unimpressed by this whilst George wondered if they have cords attached which run up their arms under their shirts so that they don’t lose them should they for any reason decide to take them off. I’m wondering, if they find it so chilly, how long it will be before they start wearing little woolly hats as well.
Old Danes
A large number on this initial circulation list turn out to be former 1st XI captains at St Clement Danes: Bob Peach 1955/6, Dick Crawshay 1959(?) Mick Cope 1963, John Adams 1964/5, Myself 1966, Graham (George) Sharp 1967/8 and Steve Thompson 1971/2(?). I suppose that this is thanks, in part, to Bob Hunt’s Old Danes web site. Can anyone fill in the gaps or extend this list?
Next Edition
There should be plenty of material generated by the World Cup next month and so I will aim for another edition in March. The focus is changing from Tour Madness to World Cup Optimism-just wait till Freddie is fully fit, he will sort them out; the southern hemisphere nations are poor travellers - right, Pakistan and India will be a pushover. You get the drift.
Please feel free to submit any cricket material for inclusion.
Googlies and Chinamen
Is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: [email protected]
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 1
January 2003
Welcome
I have spent this winter exchanging emails with George (my brother) and The Professor (John Adams), on the subject of the tour to Australia. It seemed like a good idea to share some of these ideas with other cricketing buffs and I hope that you get some enjoyment from them. Three of the initial recipients of this missive (Messrs: Blaxall, Crawshay & Proctor) are currently located in Australia and so they might be able to throw a different light on things.
Please feel free to forward this document to other cricket lovers and let me have their email addresses so that I can include them on future mail-outs.
If you would like to contribute articles to future editions please send them to me, preferably in Word format, and I shall be pleased to include them.
Tour Madness
I have long held the opinion that something strange happens to English teams on tour. I think that it probably comes from spending too long sitting around in hotel rooms and bars, drinking lite beer. The recent tour to Australia has proved no exception and in fact has produced a bumper crop of examples of Tour Madness.
This plethora started before anyone had even shown a passport at Heathrow, when a number of players with long-term fitness problems were selected in the daft belief that they might become miraculously cured after a few days in the sun.
It could probably be also argued that the bureaucrats who determined the tour itinerary exhibited similar optimism as the opportunities for playing sensible practise matches were almost non-existent and within a few days of landing the first test was underway, but not before Nass showed what a dingbat he could be by putting the Aussies in! At the end of the first day they were 380 odd for 2 and never looked back. What strategic thinking could possibly have gone into so crass a decision?
I, unlike my brother, have enjoyed (sic) the facility of watching the games live on Sky television. It has frequently been the case that Ian Botham has become apoplectic over Nass’ field settings. On one occasion he said, “ I know what I would have told him if he had asked me to bowl to field like that”. The climax of Tour Madness was reached in this department when, presumably after a very heavy night on something or other, the quicks were asked to bowl in mid innings without a third man or fine leg to the obvious delight of the rampant Aussie batsmen!
An excellent example of how muddled tour thinking becomes was exhibited by both Nass and Fletcher who announced in mid-January that Steve Harmison was the “find of the tour”. This was shortly after two critical one-day games had been lost by a margin less than the no-balls and wides that he alone had conceded. The players have apparently nicknamed him GBH, which is truly ironic in that he rarely hits the strip let alone the batsman!
The Professor, who joined the tour over Christmas, sent us this report: “Harmison simply can't bowl straight. In the last innings at Sydney all you had to do was bowl line and length and let the exploding wicket do the rest - he took 1 for 40 odd in 9 overs. Why anyone should think he can bowl in One-Dayers I've no idea. It is exactly the type of cricket for which he is not suited. Hussain has as clear a judgement about this as he has about when to sweep”.
And so it went on from match to match with insane theories being put to the test and when they failed, they were persevered with! How about the ingenious idea of batting Big Ronnie at number three in the one-dayers? This humdinger was followed relentlessly despite his failure, discomfort and humiliation. Even when this blatant example of Tour Madness was finally abandoned the management kept it tucked away and in the second final of the VB series out he trotted again at number three! Since he scored 7, which was nearly twice as many as in the four previous outings put together, Nass may have put this stroke of Tour Madness down as a success!
The Professor sorts them out!
The Professor went to join the Barmy Army over Christmas and the England team’s fortunes immediately improved. This was his report on his return:
I don’t know what all the fuss was about. Won one, lost one when I was there, so series drawn!
A couple of observations you will doubtless agree with:
1. Hussain can’t set a field to save his life. It’s like a coaching book of “How not to do it”, e.g. an off-spin bowler (well Dawson) bowls to a left hander without anyone in the covers; White bowls round the wicket to Langer to a 7-2 field and then bumps into Key who is so straight at shortish mid off that he is in the way, etc etc…
2. Give or take Bangladesh, is there a weaker international attack than we had at Sydney?
3. How can Caddick give his wicket away (three times) with a recognised batsman going well at the other end?
Ø 4. How come a Test match ground of 100+ years standing can't produce a wicket that can last more than 3 days?
5. Since umpires need good eyesight and hearing why do we recruit them at the time when both these faculties are failing?
6. Had they had Warne and we'd had Underwood (as he is NOW) I'd have had two more sightseeing days in Sydney.
7. The Barmy Army and Michael Vaughan are about the best things to happen to English cricket in the last decade.
8. Jet-lag is a reality.
p.s. A couple of members I spent some time with thought that someone called "Crofty" should have been in the team.
The Professor is referring here to the Welsh Wizard, whom George and I are big fans of. He of the non-turning off-breaks and jaunty step. Just the man to sort Brett Lee out as a pinch hitter…
Its all about Leadership
My own view is that man for man the Aussies are not that much better and given a fair wind England can beat them, as indeed happened in each of the last two series. Warne and McGrath will rank amongst the greats and Gilchrist is probably already the best wicket keeper-batsmen of all time, but otherwise the skills player for player are not too dissimilar. I believe that the real difference is about leadership and the psychological effect good leadership has. I was speaking to Bob Peach about this but could not persuade him of my thesis.
I never doubt Nass’ commitment or desire to succeed, but he always seems manic and flustered. I can’t see him ever leading a really successful side. Contrast with Brearley who had the magic touch without being a great player himself.
Another noticeable aspect is how fit the Australians are-even the porkies-Warne, Symonds, and Hayden are looking decidedly slim. The Somerset boys, Trescothic and Blackwell, should take note.
The Domestic Game.
The Professor would never let me keep to frivolity for long before asking those deep penetrating questions. Here he tackles the entire structure of the domestic game in two paragraphs:
On the "future of English cricket", what do you think of the following: If the overriding objective is to improve the national side what
contribution does the money put into Minor counties and Second XI cricket make? Should we not abolish both, vastly reduce county playing staffs, and put the funds into club cricket at the top level and, perhaps, a county youth competition. Although I'm involved in a tangential way, I'm at a loss to understand what minor county cricket is for. When Cambridge beat Herts at our Club this year they did so because their ex 1st class player (Peter Such) was better than ours (David Ward). So what? We knew that before the
game started. What has that got to do with the national side?
And another thing! How does the Chairman of the England cricket selectors keep his job? How bad do you have to be at something before you get the sack? (A question I have often asked myself when looking at some university colleagues).
My response to this was:
Is the club level good enough to dispense with Minor counties &/or second XI above it? I am too far removed to have a comment these days. However, the Australian system produces good players by making every performance count, whereas you get the impression that there are far too many matches in the English season.
Surely we should do away with overseas players completely in the Championship. They are there to bring in the crowds but nobody watches the county championship games anyway. Middlesex, who got promoted, last year fielded Razaq, Noffke, Strauss & Koenig none of whom are English. They also fielded Joyce who is Irish....
Silly Soccer Observations
I am fascinated by the new trend for Black men and Frenchmen to wear gloves to play football in. The Professor was unimpressed by this whilst George wondered if they have cords attached which run up their arms under their shirts so that they don’t lose them should they for any reason decide to take them off. I’m wondering, if they find it so chilly, how long it will be before they start wearing little woolly hats as well.
Old Danes
A large number on this initial circulation list turn out to be former 1st XI captains at St Clement Danes: Bob Peach 1955/6, Dick Crawshay 1959(?) Mick Cope 1963, John Adams 1964/5, Myself 1966, Graham (George) Sharp 1967/8 and Steve Thompson 1971/2(?). I suppose that this is thanks, in part, to Bob Hunt’s Old Danes web site. Can anyone fill in the gaps or extend this list?
Next Edition
There should be plenty of material generated by the World Cup next month and so I will aim for another edition in March. The focus is changing from Tour Madness to World Cup Optimism-just wait till Freddie is fully fit, he will sort them out; the southern hemisphere nations are poor travellers - right, Pakistan and India will be a pushover. You get the drift.
Please feel free to submit any cricket material for inclusion.
Googlies and Chinamen
Is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: [email protected]
