GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 110
February 2012
Out and About with the Professor
The Professor is in the Gulf to send us a first hand report of Pakistan’s success
It would be fair to say that I have spent comparatively little of my life in or around deserts. I suppose the principal reason is that they tend not to produce much in the way of cricket pitches - or indeed much in the way of anything...as in the word "desert".
However in the outskirts of Abu Dhabi, in the middle of quite a substantial amount of desert, is the delightful Zayed cricket ground. Actually there are two grounds because there is a nursery pitch which, confusingly, is at square leg and it is this second ground that presents the starkest contrast; the surface is a vivid emerald green, surrounded by an immaculate white picket fence beyond which, all is desert. By the way, don't think of rolling dunes and Bedouin, this is just a vast stretch of sand, stones, rubble and the odd scrubby plant - more like a giant building site than anything else.
The main stadium is excellent with grassy banks at either side and stands at each end. The Barmy Army (and occasionally myself) chose the uncovered end to sit in the sun - the pavilion end has a huge semi-circular roof that looks like a giant dinner plate has been propped up at the back of the stand. The playing surface (and thus the boundaries) is also pretty large - presumably you can water as much desert as you fancy.
And the game? Well all Googlies readers will have seen that batting was never easy. But I thought that Ajmal and Rehman bowled beautifully on the last day. It was hard, almost impossible in fact, to recall a bad ball. Rehman sent one down the leg side that went for 4 but that rally was it. Having said that, why on earth did the English batters decide that playing off the back foot was the way to go. One after another played and missed to balls that anyone would have gone forward to. Neither of the spinners was particularly slow so the chance you had on the back foot to one turning or keeping a little low was small to non-existent. So why do it? From being in a reasonably strong position for most of the match the forth day rout was not comfortable watching.
I also thought that Misbah captained very well. He has, as we all know, a reputation for being somewhat defensive. But having half a dozen fielders round the bat is not the only way to attack. He stopped England scoring and let his bowlers do the rest. When Broad was bowled second ball he had 4 men on the fence.
Good points? Well Broad had an excellent all round performance (the first over he bowled on the second day was as good a piece of fast bowling as one would wish to see); Monty's return to form/the team was obviously a highlight as was Cook's ability to concentrate for long periods; Pietersen's seeming inability to concentrate at all was never more annoying. Several players had very poor matches and, to date, a very poor tour- will they make a change? And for whom? Boycott has the knife out for Morgan and in truth he looked out of his depth here. But so also did Bell...and Pietersen was not far behind. They can't drop all three.
Still there are compensations. Tonight I'm going with the Barmy Army to a "Help the Heroes" booze-up. This apparently supports young men who have had various parts of their bodies blown off in pursuit of some deluded quest of our politicians.
And tomorrow I am going to watch Tiger Woods hit golf balls. I suspect he will do so off the front foot. Perhaps some of the team will come as well.
Test Ticket Matters
Test tickets are on sale for the 2012 matches and the ECB has come up with an attractive package of options. All you have to do is select the category that you want to be in. Here are their options:
£90-This is otherwise known as the Pauper’s Ticket. All this does is get you into the ground. You get to sit on a plastic seat for eight hours and could see as many as ninety overs bowled but this will in all likelihood be reduced to under eighty if the sun goes behind a cloud at any point in the proceedings. You will get no protection from the elements and will repeatedly throughout the day have to get up to let men with precarious trays of very expensive beer pass. There is no guarantee that your seat will not be in the middle of a block that was sold to the Barmy Army. You will be treated as if you subscribed to the mores of the Barmy Army, be issued with their song sheet and be expected to join in the singing. You will be required to arrive two hours before the start for training in carrying six pints of beer on a flimsy cardboard carrier in each hand without spilling a drop.
£120-This is the same package as the basic £90 one except that you get a guarantee that you will be at least ten rows away from the slug of tickets that were sold to the Barmy Army. The premium is said to be worth it as you can “enjoy” all their antics as if you were a spectator, which of course is what you are paying to be in the first place.
£150-You get a complimentary match card and Team England brochure. You get to do a wine tasting at the lunch interval but there will be no sight of the pretty young thing that invited you to it before the start of play.
£250-You get to attend a lunch time barbecue behind the pavilion which will be attended by a host of celebrities and other drunks if they haven’t got anything better to do.
£500-You will be served coffee in a paper cup before play begins and lukewarm wine during the course of the day. Your tea time sandwiches will have had their crusts removed and they will come on a plate on which potato crisps will be decorously displayed. Your name will be entered into a draw for the winner to ring the five minute bell at teatime.
£750-You get your pre match coffee in a china mug and you get a meat fest all day. Sausage and bacon rolls for breakfast on arrival followed by sausage rolls before a sirloin steak lunch. Ham sandwiches are a must at the tea interval. All of this can be washed down with unlimited supplies of lager.
£1000-You meet up at a local Gentleman’s Club and never even have to go to the ground. There will be sixty inch plasma screens but they won’t be showing the cricket.
£1500-You get to watch the match in the comfort of your own living room. You will be provided free with a hook up to Sky and a series of helpful young girls will pop in during the day to see if there is anything that you need. You will be given an on line hook up to Waitrose who will deliver any comfort food that may take your whim.
English cricket in the Nineties
The King Cricket web site has been reviewing the poor standard of English cricket in the nineties. Here are some of its findings:
English batsmen who averaged over 40 during the Nineties. This is the full list. Bear in mind that England’s current number eight, Tim Bresnan, averages 45.
Alex Tudor – 55.33 (six innings)
David Gower – 53
Graham Gooch – 51.55
Robin Smith – 42.62
Allan Lamb – 41
Alec Stewart – 40.80
Phil Newport – 40 (two innings)
Hick and Ramprakesh. It’s not that they were bad. It’s that they were good. Until you put an England helmet on them. England’s number nine batsman, Stuart Broad, currently has a higher Test batting average than Mark Ramprakash.
The longest tail. Loads of people suggested this, but which tail was worse? The biggest indictment is perhaps that we have a choice.
Headingley 1993
8. Andy Caddick
9. Martin Bicknell
10. Martin McCague
11. Mark Ilott
The Oval 1999
8. Andy Caddick
9. Alan Mullally
10. Phil Tufnell
11. Ed Giddins
All-rounders. The desperation was such that any England bowler who owned his own cricket bat stood a chance of being considered one. Craig White, Dominic Cork, Ronnie Irani, Phil Defreitas, Chris Lewis and so many more. Even Darren Gough was talked about as being an all-rounder for a brief period.
Bowlers. The Boxing Day bowling attack, Port Elizabeth, 1995: Cork, Ilott, Martin and Illingworth with a few overs from Jason Gallian.
.
World Cup 1999 – getting knocked out before the official song had been released despite home advantage.
The Benson and Hedges World Series 1994/95. A one-day series featuring Australia, Australia A, England and Zimbabwe. The final was Australia v Australia A.
Losing 2-1 to New Zealand in 1999 to become the lowest-ranked Test side.
Straw-clutching. An era defined by the straw-clutching things we used to say: ‘Well, at least Hick got 38,’ or ‘Daffy looked quite sharp’.
A Nineties XI:
Jason Gallian
Mark Lathwell
Alan Wells
Aftab Habib
Darren Maddy
Ronnie Irani
Richard Blakey
Gavin Hamilton
Ian Salisbury
Neil Mallender
Paul Taylor
12th man Dermot Reeve
Midwinter Madness Matters
The Professor has been sending me emails from his jaunt to the Middle East. On this occasion he left his wife, Judith, behind to measure the snow in Yorkshire.
First he sent me this: “I had a long chat today to Paul Burnham. Who he? He is the chap who founded the Barmy Army. I know how interested you are in them so I checked a few things. He and a chum had the idea after the 1994-5 series in Oz. He was working for BA at the time and about to move into a job in the City. His own company seemed an interesting idea so he set it up. It is, apparently quite a small organisation - one office (Paul lives in the flat above) and a small staff. He pays people to help him on each of the tours and Bill Cooper and "Jimmy" get expenses for each trip - Jimmy, you will be sad to know, has not made it out here. As a retired carpenter he seems to have just about enough funds to go on these jaunts but he is not so keen on the middle east...I've no idea why. But Bill is here and the "Army" (more platoon size really) is in good signing voice. You will be pleased to know I have joined in the patriotic signing.”
Then he sent me this: “I have met Douglas Miller out here - so you understand the problem. Today Douglas wrote out the names of all the post-War England players. There are 339 of them plus (obviously) the 19 who were capped pre-War. Douglas was one short. He forgot Bob Cottam. Unbelievable.
I replied: “I think that you must be missing Judith more than you realise....”
He responded: “I think you might be right about that. Did you realise that this Test set a world record for the number of dismissals (29) without the involvement of a fielder? No? ....this way madness lies.”
Peter Huntley
I received a note from Eileen Huntley telling me that Peter had died on Christmas Day. He was 88. Peter joined South Hampstead in the late sixties as a mature player. I don’t know where he played his weekend cricket beforehand but he continued to be involved with Willesden Thursday which was a shopkeepers’ midweek side. He always wore one of those old fashioned caps with the team’s colours in hoops round it.
Peter was deadly serious about his cricket but had a sardonic sense of humour. I remember that he didn’t like June Baker’s dog because he said that it “Ate flies”. Peter captained the Wednesday side for five seasons from 1967 to 1971. In 1968 George was, somewhat surprisingly, the Honorary Team Manager and famously brought his “Rolling Stones” side to fill a vacant fixture slot. They formed an incongruous pairing of seniority and youth.
Peter was a dour straight playing batsman but I recall him hitting a straight six at Enfield which probably brought him as much pleasure as many of his other innings put together. He bowled gentle off spinners with some success at second and third team level. But it was his fielding which most comes to mind. Like certain other senior players he chose to field in plimsoles; trainers had not yet been invented. He would come in from mid off, in step with the bowler, displaying serious intent with his fingers splayed on both hands ready to thwart any of the batsman’s attempts to score in his direction. As the ball was hit on the offside Peter would continue his advance until the ball reached him and then his progress would describe a parabola as he turned to join its progress towards the boundary. As the ball slowed there would be a chorus of “Keeper’s end Peter” from teammates who full well knew he would struggle to propel it as far as the bowler’s end.
George sent me the following anecdotes from 1968 when he was Peter’s Team Secretary:
On one occasion I offered Peter some advice about tactics in the field. He replied “I’ve decided to make you may chief sexual advisor. When I want your fucking opinion I’ll ask for it.”
On a quick fall off wickets at Milverton Road, he was looking for one of the younger players, who'd brought his girlfriend, only to find him and report: “'There he was, round the back, sucking her tits".
The Fifth Old Danes Gathering
The good folk of Shepherds Bush CC were kind enough to host the Fifth Old Danes Gathering in July 2011. When we started these events in 2007 I liaised with Dave Perrin who was the then President and who had been so influential in ensuring the relocation of the club and its consequent survival. I now deal with Brian Partridge who has succeeded Dave as President.
Bob Peach tells Brain Partridge the one about Alf Langley’s shoe
Jeff Coleman explains to John McCloughlin, Les Berry and John Adcock how to get to the Uxbridge Road from Bromyard Avenue.
Harvey Rowland, Steve Mills, Jack Morgan, Mike Jordan and Geoff Mills can’t believe the sixties are fifty years ago.
Steve Caley and Mike Jordan can’t find anything amusing about being in their seventh decade
Len Wesgate, Allan Keates and Bob Hunt
Hugh Lindsay, Ron Broome and Geoff Norris recall days in the Cage
Geoff Norris, who is of course the President of MCCC, has undergone a major operation and we all wish him well in his recovery.
As soon as I have the date I will circulate Old Danes with the details of the 2012 Gathering.
Minor Counties Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
Upton Court Park, Slough, is one of the noisiest cricket grounds in the world because i) huge aeroplanes scream their way into the sky from Heathrow, just to the east; ii) the M4 motorway roars past, just to the south; iii) hugely irritating model aeroplanes are regularly flown in the adjacent field to the west; iv) deafening go-karts (or something similar) are driven just to the south-west; and v) Test match followers turn their car radios up to full volume to try to defeat noise sources i to iv. Otherwise, it is a pleasant ground, though wet on this occasion after recent heavy rain and liberal quantities of sawdust on the square reminded me of the days when John Warr and Alan Moss would be opening the bowling at Lord's.
The pitch itself, had been covered, of course, and Norfolk captain George Walker chose to bat in the Eastern Division Championship match against Buckinghamshire. Openers James Spelman and Carl Rogers (both from Norwich) got the visitors off to good start with an opening stand of 63 before Rogers fell for an attractive 39 with 5 fours. Spelman can be slow to get into his stride, but he dominated another useful stand of 65 for the third wicket with 43 year old Trevor Ward (25) formerly of Kent and Leics. Norfolk then collapsed disastrously, however, confirming the view of those who thought that bowling first would have been the better option. From 128 for 2, Norfolk plummeted to 142 for 8 and these wickets included that of the persevering Spelman for a solid 64 including 7 fours. Skipper Walker (23*) did very well to coax another 54 from the last two wickets with only his two opening bowlers for company, but the total of 196 still looked inadequate. The main cause of Norfolk's discomfort was ex-Surrey and Leics allrounder Jim Benning, seen as mainly a batsman in his Surrey days, who skittled 7 of the visiting batsmen for 51 in 23.2 overs of lively medium pace, while the metronomic veteran seamer Simon Stanway returned the excellent figures of 22-9-28-2 in support.
When Bucks batted, local pair 18 year old Shaan Khan and 21 year old Mike Payne, both born in Slough, combined to stage the dominant partnership of the match before Khan left for 83 with 5 fours after 160 had been added for the second wicket. Payne, who the scoreboard insisted was Joel Pope throughout his innings, went on to an excellent 107 with 13 fours, but wickets began to tumble as the 90 over limit on first innings approached. South African Warren Miller's 28 was the next best effort as Bucks managed 291 for 8 in their 90, a lead of 95. The wicket seemed to ease during the Bucks innings and Norfolk relied mainly on the spin of Walker (slow left arm) and veteran off-spinner Chris Brown who finished with 4 for 86 in 33 overs. When Norfolk batted again, Spelman (36) played another patient innings, but his stand of 71 with Sam Arthurton for the second wicket cleared the deficit and the visitors were starting to build a lead which might have allowed them to set Bucks a challenging target. 19 year old Arthurton, also from Norwich, went on to a good looking 61* with 7 fours as Norfolk closed the second day on 139 for 2, but we will never know what might have happened as rain washed out any hope of play on day three.
Wright Matters
Steve Wright sent me this
Your tributes to Len Stubbs seem to have been confined to South Hampstead players which is a pity. I think Len had a reputation as being a pretty spiky individual but I particularly remember that after a match at South Hampstead (in 1967 I think) when we were probably on the end of a hammering and were fairly depressed about it, that Len sat down with a few of us and offered words of encouragement. He was regarded as a leading club cricketer and this act of kindness was greatly appreciated. It must have meant something to me because my memory has gaps that seem to encompass entire seasons and to remember this means it must have had an affect on me. Len's record speaks for itself although with Bill Hart around it hardly needs to but I do not recall him scoring big runs against us. Oddly enough it was his brother Harold who played several important innings against us.
My old friend David Perrin managed to rescue 3 scorebooks from the old pavilion before the Bush decamped to Bromyard Avenue. Only one of these related to my time at the club and that was the 1970 scorebook. Most of the matches I have only a dim recollection of. It was the year when Ron Reed put his career as a sub editor at the Syney Morning Herald on hold and decided that he would blitz the Poms for a bit of fun. Ron has been mentioned a few times in Googlies and I can tell you that I pleased he decided to join us and not another Middlesex club. He took 100 wickets that season at better than 3 a match. One "interesting" game was against Hornsey. After one of our scintillating batting displays we set them 100 to win and Ron took a hat trick with the first 3 balls of the Hornsey innings. The fourth delivery went straight through Roger Pearman but unfortunately that was pretty well the extent of our success. In mitigation George, our otherwise excellent umpire, gave 4 of us out lbw to Colin Nash bowling left arm over when they probably all pitched outside leg stump!
We bowled Wembley out for 29 with Ron getting seven wickets. I remember this game for another reason. It finished so early that the Professor decided we should have some fielding practice. The Prof' was an enthusiastic fielder and chased after one throw and went straight through a hedge disappearing completely from view for some time.
Brentham was another success. We bowled them out for 100 with the top six of their batting order being Barlow, Brearley, Kingdon, Bloomfield, Swann and Vincent. I have no recollection of this game which is surprising as I took 5-11. I could go on but if I do I expect that I will even start to look like Bill Hart and sounding like him is quite enough.
Climate Change; Global Warming Matters
Allen Bruton sent me the following notes
It appears that two major sports bodies are receiving conflicting information on this subject. As pointed out last month by Jack Morgan the Middlesex cricket season commences on 31st.March in Durham. Contingency plans allow for the new pink fluorescent ball to be used in the likely event of frost and should an umpire succumb to hypothermia the match will be abandoned rather than a third umpire being used.
Contrast the ECB attitude with FIFA who upon opening their brown envelope found they had awarded the 2022 World Cup to Qatar. Fortunately by 2022 we will all be accustomed to six referees/assistants on or around the pitch and therefore should not be too distracted by sponsored drink dispensers/rehydration stations located discreetly in the centre circle and each penalty area. It seems that Coca Cola are favourites to land the sponsorship but obviously this cannot be confirmed until another set of brown envelopes have been opened.
I must go now as I am leading Chipping Norton’s bid for the Winter Olympics.
Red Mist Matters
Luke Wright hit the fastest ton in the Australian Big Bash (T20) competition, reaching 100 off 44 balls and ending with 117 off 60 for Melbourne Stars against Hobart Hurricane in Tasmania. Joss Buttler hit 102 not out from 56 balls for the England Lions against Sri Lanka A.
Shameless Self Promotion Matters
My art and craft work online shop is now open. Paintings and textile work can be purchased online. Click the following link to go straight to my shop:
http://www.sharpart.co.uk/shop/
Googlies and Chinamen
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Tel & fax: 01298 70237
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 110
February 2012
Out and About with the Professor
The Professor is in the Gulf to send us a first hand report of Pakistan’s success
It would be fair to say that I have spent comparatively little of my life in or around deserts. I suppose the principal reason is that they tend not to produce much in the way of cricket pitches - or indeed much in the way of anything...as in the word "desert".
However in the outskirts of Abu Dhabi, in the middle of quite a substantial amount of desert, is the delightful Zayed cricket ground. Actually there are two grounds because there is a nursery pitch which, confusingly, is at square leg and it is this second ground that presents the starkest contrast; the surface is a vivid emerald green, surrounded by an immaculate white picket fence beyond which, all is desert. By the way, don't think of rolling dunes and Bedouin, this is just a vast stretch of sand, stones, rubble and the odd scrubby plant - more like a giant building site than anything else.
The main stadium is excellent with grassy banks at either side and stands at each end. The Barmy Army (and occasionally myself) chose the uncovered end to sit in the sun - the pavilion end has a huge semi-circular roof that looks like a giant dinner plate has been propped up at the back of the stand. The playing surface (and thus the boundaries) is also pretty large - presumably you can water as much desert as you fancy.
And the game? Well all Googlies readers will have seen that batting was never easy. But I thought that Ajmal and Rehman bowled beautifully on the last day. It was hard, almost impossible in fact, to recall a bad ball. Rehman sent one down the leg side that went for 4 but that rally was it. Having said that, why on earth did the English batters decide that playing off the back foot was the way to go. One after another played and missed to balls that anyone would have gone forward to. Neither of the spinners was particularly slow so the chance you had on the back foot to one turning or keeping a little low was small to non-existent. So why do it? From being in a reasonably strong position for most of the match the forth day rout was not comfortable watching.
I also thought that Misbah captained very well. He has, as we all know, a reputation for being somewhat defensive. But having half a dozen fielders round the bat is not the only way to attack. He stopped England scoring and let his bowlers do the rest. When Broad was bowled second ball he had 4 men on the fence.
Good points? Well Broad had an excellent all round performance (the first over he bowled on the second day was as good a piece of fast bowling as one would wish to see); Monty's return to form/the team was obviously a highlight as was Cook's ability to concentrate for long periods; Pietersen's seeming inability to concentrate at all was never more annoying. Several players had very poor matches and, to date, a very poor tour- will they make a change? And for whom? Boycott has the knife out for Morgan and in truth he looked out of his depth here. But so also did Bell...and Pietersen was not far behind. They can't drop all three.
Still there are compensations. Tonight I'm going with the Barmy Army to a "Help the Heroes" booze-up. This apparently supports young men who have had various parts of their bodies blown off in pursuit of some deluded quest of our politicians.
And tomorrow I am going to watch Tiger Woods hit golf balls. I suspect he will do so off the front foot. Perhaps some of the team will come as well.
Test Ticket Matters
Test tickets are on sale for the 2012 matches and the ECB has come up with an attractive package of options. All you have to do is select the category that you want to be in. Here are their options:
£90-This is otherwise known as the Pauper’s Ticket. All this does is get you into the ground. You get to sit on a plastic seat for eight hours and could see as many as ninety overs bowled but this will in all likelihood be reduced to under eighty if the sun goes behind a cloud at any point in the proceedings. You will get no protection from the elements and will repeatedly throughout the day have to get up to let men with precarious trays of very expensive beer pass. There is no guarantee that your seat will not be in the middle of a block that was sold to the Barmy Army. You will be treated as if you subscribed to the mores of the Barmy Army, be issued with their song sheet and be expected to join in the singing. You will be required to arrive two hours before the start for training in carrying six pints of beer on a flimsy cardboard carrier in each hand without spilling a drop.
£120-This is the same package as the basic £90 one except that you get a guarantee that you will be at least ten rows away from the slug of tickets that were sold to the Barmy Army. The premium is said to be worth it as you can “enjoy” all their antics as if you were a spectator, which of course is what you are paying to be in the first place.
£150-You get a complimentary match card and Team England brochure. You get to do a wine tasting at the lunch interval but there will be no sight of the pretty young thing that invited you to it before the start of play.
£250-You get to attend a lunch time barbecue behind the pavilion which will be attended by a host of celebrities and other drunks if they haven’t got anything better to do.
£500-You will be served coffee in a paper cup before play begins and lukewarm wine during the course of the day. Your tea time sandwiches will have had their crusts removed and they will come on a plate on which potato crisps will be decorously displayed. Your name will be entered into a draw for the winner to ring the five minute bell at teatime.
£750-You get your pre match coffee in a china mug and you get a meat fest all day. Sausage and bacon rolls for breakfast on arrival followed by sausage rolls before a sirloin steak lunch. Ham sandwiches are a must at the tea interval. All of this can be washed down with unlimited supplies of lager.
£1000-You meet up at a local Gentleman’s Club and never even have to go to the ground. There will be sixty inch plasma screens but they won’t be showing the cricket.
£1500-You get to watch the match in the comfort of your own living room. You will be provided free with a hook up to Sky and a series of helpful young girls will pop in during the day to see if there is anything that you need. You will be given an on line hook up to Waitrose who will deliver any comfort food that may take your whim.
English cricket in the Nineties
The King Cricket web site has been reviewing the poor standard of English cricket in the nineties. Here are some of its findings:
English batsmen who averaged over 40 during the Nineties. This is the full list. Bear in mind that England’s current number eight, Tim Bresnan, averages 45.
Alex Tudor – 55.33 (six innings)
David Gower – 53
Graham Gooch – 51.55
Robin Smith – 42.62
Allan Lamb – 41
Alec Stewart – 40.80
Phil Newport – 40 (two innings)
Hick and Ramprakesh. It’s not that they were bad. It’s that they were good. Until you put an England helmet on them. England’s number nine batsman, Stuart Broad, currently has a higher Test batting average than Mark Ramprakash.
The longest tail. Loads of people suggested this, but which tail was worse? The biggest indictment is perhaps that we have a choice.
Headingley 1993
8. Andy Caddick
9. Martin Bicknell
10. Martin McCague
11. Mark Ilott
The Oval 1999
8. Andy Caddick
9. Alan Mullally
10. Phil Tufnell
11. Ed Giddins
All-rounders. The desperation was such that any England bowler who owned his own cricket bat stood a chance of being considered one. Craig White, Dominic Cork, Ronnie Irani, Phil Defreitas, Chris Lewis and so many more. Even Darren Gough was talked about as being an all-rounder for a brief period.
Bowlers. The Boxing Day bowling attack, Port Elizabeth, 1995: Cork, Ilott, Martin and Illingworth with a few overs from Jason Gallian.
.
World Cup 1999 – getting knocked out before the official song had been released despite home advantage.
The Benson and Hedges World Series 1994/95. A one-day series featuring Australia, Australia A, England and Zimbabwe. The final was Australia v Australia A.
Losing 2-1 to New Zealand in 1999 to become the lowest-ranked Test side.
Straw-clutching. An era defined by the straw-clutching things we used to say: ‘Well, at least Hick got 38,’ or ‘Daffy looked quite sharp’.
A Nineties XI:
Jason Gallian
Mark Lathwell
Alan Wells
Aftab Habib
Darren Maddy
Ronnie Irani
Richard Blakey
Gavin Hamilton
Ian Salisbury
Neil Mallender
Paul Taylor
12th man Dermot Reeve
Midwinter Madness Matters
The Professor has been sending me emails from his jaunt to the Middle East. On this occasion he left his wife, Judith, behind to measure the snow in Yorkshire.
First he sent me this: “I had a long chat today to Paul Burnham. Who he? He is the chap who founded the Barmy Army. I know how interested you are in them so I checked a few things. He and a chum had the idea after the 1994-5 series in Oz. He was working for BA at the time and about to move into a job in the City. His own company seemed an interesting idea so he set it up. It is, apparently quite a small organisation - one office (Paul lives in the flat above) and a small staff. He pays people to help him on each of the tours and Bill Cooper and "Jimmy" get expenses for each trip - Jimmy, you will be sad to know, has not made it out here. As a retired carpenter he seems to have just about enough funds to go on these jaunts but he is not so keen on the middle east...I've no idea why. But Bill is here and the "Army" (more platoon size really) is in good signing voice. You will be pleased to know I have joined in the patriotic signing.”
Then he sent me this: “I have met Douglas Miller out here - so you understand the problem. Today Douglas wrote out the names of all the post-War England players. There are 339 of them plus (obviously) the 19 who were capped pre-War. Douglas was one short. He forgot Bob Cottam. Unbelievable.
I replied: “I think that you must be missing Judith more than you realise....”
He responded: “I think you might be right about that. Did you realise that this Test set a world record for the number of dismissals (29) without the involvement of a fielder? No? ....this way madness lies.”
Peter Huntley
I received a note from Eileen Huntley telling me that Peter had died on Christmas Day. He was 88. Peter joined South Hampstead in the late sixties as a mature player. I don’t know where he played his weekend cricket beforehand but he continued to be involved with Willesden Thursday which was a shopkeepers’ midweek side. He always wore one of those old fashioned caps with the team’s colours in hoops round it.
Peter was deadly serious about his cricket but had a sardonic sense of humour. I remember that he didn’t like June Baker’s dog because he said that it “Ate flies”. Peter captained the Wednesday side for five seasons from 1967 to 1971. In 1968 George was, somewhat surprisingly, the Honorary Team Manager and famously brought his “Rolling Stones” side to fill a vacant fixture slot. They formed an incongruous pairing of seniority and youth.
Peter was a dour straight playing batsman but I recall him hitting a straight six at Enfield which probably brought him as much pleasure as many of his other innings put together. He bowled gentle off spinners with some success at second and third team level. But it was his fielding which most comes to mind. Like certain other senior players he chose to field in plimsoles; trainers had not yet been invented. He would come in from mid off, in step with the bowler, displaying serious intent with his fingers splayed on both hands ready to thwart any of the batsman’s attempts to score in his direction. As the ball was hit on the offside Peter would continue his advance until the ball reached him and then his progress would describe a parabola as he turned to join its progress towards the boundary. As the ball slowed there would be a chorus of “Keeper’s end Peter” from teammates who full well knew he would struggle to propel it as far as the bowler’s end.
George sent me the following anecdotes from 1968 when he was Peter’s Team Secretary:
On one occasion I offered Peter some advice about tactics in the field. He replied “I’ve decided to make you may chief sexual advisor. When I want your fucking opinion I’ll ask for it.”
On a quick fall off wickets at Milverton Road, he was looking for one of the younger players, who'd brought his girlfriend, only to find him and report: “'There he was, round the back, sucking her tits".
The Fifth Old Danes Gathering
The good folk of Shepherds Bush CC were kind enough to host the Fifth Old Danes Gathering in July 2011. When we started these events in 2007 I liaised with Dave Perrin who was the then President and who had been so influential in ensuring the relocation of the club and its consequent survival. I now deal with Brian Partridge who has succeeded Dave as President.
Bob Peach tells Brain Partridge the one about Alf Langley’s shoe
Jeff Coleman explains to John McCloughlin, Les Berry and John Adcock how to get to the Uxbridge Road from Bromyard Avenue.
Harvey Rowland, Steve Mills, Jack Morgan, Mike Jordan and Geoff Mills can’t believe the sixties are fifty years ago.
Steve Caley and Mike Jordan can’t find anything amusing about being in their seventh decade
Len Wesgate, Allan Keates and Bob Hunt
Hugh Lindsay, Ron Broome and Geoff Norris recall days in the Cage
Geoff Norris, who is of course the President of MCCC, has undergone a major operation and we all wish him well in his recovery.
As soon as I have the date I will circulate Old Danes with the details of the 2012 Gathering.
Minor Counties Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
Upton Court Park, Slough, is one of the noisiest cricket grounds in the world because i) huge aeroplanes scream their way into the sky from Heathrow, just to the east; ii) the M4 motorway roars past, just to the south; iii) hugely irritating model aeroplanes are regularly flown in the adjacent field to the west; iv) deafening go-karts (or something similar) are driven just to the south-west; and v) Test match followers turn their car radios up to full volume to try to defeat noise sources i to iv. Otherwise, it is a pleasant ground, though wet on this occasion after recent heavy rain and liberal quantities of sawdust on the square reminded me of the days when John Warr and Alan Moss would be opening the bowling at Lord's.
The pitch itself, had been covered, of course, and Norfolk captain George Walker chose to bat in the Eastern Division Championship match against Buckinghamshire. Openers James Spelman and Carl Rogers (both from Norwich) got the visitors off to good start with an opening stand of 63 before Rogers fell for an attractive 39 with 5 fours. Spelman can be slow to get into his stride, but he dominated another useful stand of 65 for the third wicket with 43 year old Trevor Ward (25) formerly of Kent and Leics. Norfolk then collapsed disastrously, however, confirming the view of those who thought that bowling first would have been the better option. From 128 for 2, Norfolk plummeted to 142 for 8 and these wickets included that of the persevering Spelman for a solid 64 including 7 fours. Skipper Walker (23*) did very well to coax another 54 from the last two wickets with only his two opening bowlers for company, but the total of 196 still looked inadequate. The main cause of Norfolk's discomfort was ex-Surrey and Leics allrounder Jim Benning, seen as mainly a batsman in his Surrey days, who skittled 7 of the visiting batsmen for 51 in 23.2 overs of lively medium pace, while the metronomic veteran seamer Simon Stanway returned the excellent figures of 22-9-28-2 in support.
When Bucks batted, local pair 18 year old Shaan Khan and 21 year old Mike Payne, both born in Slough, combined to stage the dominant partnership of the match before Khan left for 83 with 5 fours after 160 had been added for the second wicket. Payne, who the scoreboard insisted was Joel Pope throughout his innings, went on to an excellent 107 with 13 fours, but wickets began to tumble as the 90 over limit on first innings approached. South African Warren Miller's 28 was the next best effort as Bucks managed 291 for 8 in their 90, a lead of 95. The wicket seemed to ease during the Bucks innings and Norfolk relied mainly on the spin of Walker (slow left arm) and veteran off-spinner Chris Brown who finished with 4 for 86 in 33 overs. When Norfolk batted again, Spelman (36) played another patient innings, but his stand of 71 with Sam Arthurton for the second wicket cleared the deficit and the visitors were starting to build a lead which might have allowed them to set Bucks a challenging target. 19 year old Arthurton, also from Norwich, went on to a good looking 61* with 7 fours as Norfolk closed the second day on 139 for 2, but we will never know what might have happened as rain washed out any hope of play on day three.
Wright Matters
Steve Wright sent me this
Your tributes to Len Stubbs seem to have been confined to South Hampstead players which is a pity. I think Len had a reputation as being a pretty spiky individual but I particularly remember that after a match at South Hampstead (in 1967 I think) when we were probably on the end of a hammering and were fairly depressed about it, that Len sat down with a few of us and offered words of encouragement. He was regarded as a leading club cricketer and this act of kindness was greatly appreciated. It must have meant something to me because my memory has gaps that seem to encompass entire seasons and to remember this means it must have had an affect on me. Len's record speaks for itself although with Bill Hart around it hardly needs to but I do not recall him scoring big runs against us. Oddly enough it was his brother Harold who played several important innings against us.
My old friend David Perrin managed to rescue 3 scorebooks from the old pavilion before the Bush decamped to Bromyard Avenue. Only one of these related to my time at the club and that was the 1970 scorebook. Most of the matches I have only a dim recollection of. It was the year when Ron Reed put his career as a sub editor at the Syney Morning Herald on hold and decided that he would blitz the Poms for a bit of fun. Ron has been mentioned a few times in Googlies and I can tell you that I pleased he decided to join us and not another Middlesex club. He took 100 wickets that season at better than 3 a match. One "interesting" game was against Hornsey. After one of our scintillating batting displays we set them 100 to win and Ron took a hat trick with the first 3 balls of the Hornsey innings. The fourth delivery went straight through Roger Pearman but unfortunately that was pretty well the extent of our success. In mitigation George, our otherwise excellent umpire, gave 4 of us out lbw to Colin Nash bowling left arm over when they probably all pitched outside leg stump!
We bowled Wembley out for 29 with Ron getting seven wickets. I remember this game for another reason. It finished so early that the Professor decided we should have some fielding practice. The Prof' was an enthusiastic fielder and chased after one throw and went straight through a hedge disappearing completely from view for some time.
Brentham was another success. We bowled them out for 100 with the top six of their batting order being Barlow, Brearley, Kingdon, Bloomfield, Swann and Vincent. I have no recollection of this game which is surprising as I took 5-11. I could go on but if I do I expect that I will even start to look like Bill Hart and sounding like him is quite enough.
Climate Change; Global Warming Matters
Allen Bruton sent me the following notes
It appears that two major sports bodies are receiving conflicting information on this subject. As pointed out last month by Jack Morgan the Middlesex cricket season commences on 31st.March in Durham. Contingency plans allow for the new pink fluorescent ball to be used in the likely event of frost and should an umpire succumb to hypothermia the match will be abandoned rather than a third umpire being used.
Contrast the ECB attitude with FIFA who upon opening their brown envelope found they had awarded the 2022 World Cup to Qatar. Fortunately by 2022 we will all be accustomed to six referees/assistants on or around the pitch and therefore should not be too distracted by sponsored drink dispensers/rehydration stations located discreetly in the centre circle and each penalty area. It seems that Coca Cola are favourites to land the sponsorship but obviously this cannot be confirmed until another set of brown envelopes have been opened.
I must go now as I am leading Chipping Norton’s bid for the Winter Olympics.
Red Mist Matters
Luke Wright hit the fastest ton in the Australian Big Bash (T20) competition, reaching 100 off 44 balls and ending with 117 off 60 for Melbourne Stars against Hobart Hurricane in Tasmania. Joss Buttler hit 102 not out from 56 balls for the England Lions against Sri Lanka A.
Shameless Self Promotion Matters
My art and craft work online shop is now open. Paintings and textile work can be purchased online. Click the following link to go straight to my shop:
http://www.sharpart.co.uk/shop/
Googlies and Chinamen
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