G&C 232
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 232
April 2022
Spot the Ball
The Barmy Army prepares for another gruelling session in Barbados.
(Douglas Miller & the Professor, John Adams)
Pre-Season Quiz
1.You are invited to take over the captaincy of the England team. What do you do?
a.Phone Joe Root and ask his advice.
b.Dig out your lucky rabbit’s foot.
c.Ask Heather Knight how it is done.
2.You have been appointed fixture secretary of your local cricket club. Which touring sides would you welcome in your cricket week?
a.The Syrian Swashbucklers.
b.The Iraqi Itinerants
c.The Uprooted Ukrainians
3.You have been asked to write a speech and have to decide which trite phrases to include:
a.We have been working round the clock to solve the problem
b.Right thinking people will support this view.
c.We are doing this for all the hard-working people.
4.You need to select a seamer to shore up one end for most of the season. Which of the following do you select?
a.Ollie Robinson
b.Mark Wood
c.Ben Stokes
5.You turn on the Sky Cricket channel only to find that Alex Lees is batting with Dom Sibley. How long will it take you to nod off?
a.The end of the first over
b.Before the first run is scored
c.As long as it takes to relocate the remote.
6.What considerations are relevant when planning a trip to Lord’s?
a.Will you get value for money if England are batting?
b.Parking at £50 for the day now looks cheap compared to the cost of petrol for the trip.
c.How many masks and ear plugs will you need if located near the Barmy Army?
7.When asked about you having modelled yourself on the Prime Minister, how do you respond?
a.Vomit
b.Lie and deny it. But then realise that that probably confirms it.
c.Ignore the question and carry on regardless.
Out and About with the Professor
Just to the left of the Sir Curtly Ambrose Stand in Antigua is a small traditional old black scoreboard with hooks on it from which to hang the numbers. It is pretty much the only thing inside the ground that works well. There are two giant electronic scoreboards: one was never turned on and the other sometimes showed some information, occasionally showed most of the information, and often showed none. There is also a replay screen, which didn’t; and a public address system that, for most of the first morning, declined to address the public. Indeed the failure of this last communication device meant that nobody realised that when the players lined-up and stood there they were respecting a minute’s silence for Shane Warne. The “nobody” included the person on the disco machine who played ear-crunching reggae music all the way through. The feeling on the terraces was that Warne would have found it all very funny.
But it’s not just Antigua. Virtually the same issues arose at Barbados and Grenada (not, mercifully, the minute’s silence). The scoreboards were hopeless, PA systems either didn’t work or made a variety of pulsating sounds at random points (Bairstow refused to bat in Antigua until it had been silenced) and, of course, those irritating revolving sightscreens constantly failed to revolve and showed the logo of some miserable business enterprise when it should have been white. In fact, in the first over at Barbados, one screen lost one of its slats which just fell out and had to be refitted during the match.
Why does this happen in the West Indies, or more particularly, in the cricket grounds? Outside the grounds electronic systems seem to work OK: in the bars and hotels and other public spaces and virtually every member of the population is permanently on the phone. So what is the problem? Or more to the point, why is there no solution?
If all this sounds a little churlish - even curmudgeonly – it does seem reasonable that for an international sporting event, shown to millions, someone might check to see if the scoreboards work before we start.
There were two other things that didn’t work on this trip. The first was the umpiring. There’s lots to be said in favour of local umpires and adjusted numbers of referrals but the standard must be higher. We counted over 20 decisions that were reversed or wrong in just the three Tests. In the end, the umpire’s finger going up was neither an occasion for celebration nor regret; it was more the start of negotiations. In Antigua, these negotiations took place in camera since the replay screen resisted any temptation to actually show what was being considered.
The final thing that didn’t work very well on this trip was, of course, the England team. That might sound a little harsh since in the first two Tests England played almost all the cricket (give or take the very first morning) and had they won the toss in Grenada (and fielded of course…not a certainty after Brisbane) they would probably have won the series. But the lack of quality in the side was shown up in two respects: the inability of the bowlers to take twenty wickets (14 in Antigua, 15 in Barbados, 10 in Grenada) and the abject collapse of the batting under pressure in the second innings in Grenada. The bowling was the subject of constant debate because of the absence of we know whom, but no one really expected that Woakes and Overton would run through a side, nor Woods (briefly) nor Mahmood either. On a decent pitch at this standard, it seems hard to think that Woakes and Overton can present much of a threat…and they didn’t. The ex-Test bowlers that we had in our box (Small and Malcolm) blamed the pitch and the general conclusion in the first match was that “the pitch had won” - but not so in Barbados. Here the batters, and Stokes especially in one of the great Test innings (which will soon be forgotten), set up a real opportunity which was not taken. Yes, I know that the pitch was also a bit slow, but it was turning – and turning quite a lot. The declaration might have been sooner but England had 65 overs to take 10 wickets on a turning pitch…and took 5.
Opinions in the stands differed as to what was the problem. We all agreed that Leach bowled too fast – but then he always does, but for me it wasn’t the speed so much, nor even the line; it was the length that he bowled. Normally criticism of a bowler’s length (especially a spin bowler) is that they have bowled too short, but not here. Leach bowled far too full for most of his 25 overs. The batter, even a diminutive one like Brathwaite or Blackwood, could and did rock forward and trap the ball before it could turn. Indeed, ball after ball found Brathwaite almost grinding the ball into the turf at fuller than half-volley length. We all know that for a spin bowler to do his or her work the batters must be drawn forward and have then to adjust to the spin if they are not right to the pitch. That is why it is called a good length. That is what spin bowlers are supposed to do. Since I know this and everybody who has ever watched cricket knows this, how come Mr Leach doesn’t. “Too easy at Taunton” doesn’t cut it for me – this is international cricket at supposedly the highest level – they ought to be able to bowl on a worn final afternoon pitch. If not, then we need someone who can.
I talked to people who said that Brathwaite was killing the game, he wasn’t “interested in a contest”. I think that might have been true, but it is decidedly beside the point. In a cricket match, or any sporting contest come to that, you can’t decide (or complain about) what your opponent can do – your job is to do the best that you can do…and we did not do that. Or if we did, the future does not look too bright.
Of course there were things to celebrate: two hundreds for Root (how can he concentrate when all is collapsing around his ears?); Crawley, Bairstow and the spectacular Stokes’ hundred; Foakes’ keeping (not quite at his best I thought – stood too far back and ended up taking hundreds of deliveries on the floor – and dropped a difficult chance…but still a vast improvement on Buttler); and Lawrence and Lees while far from making an unchallengeable case certainly did themselves no harm. By contrast none of the bowlers looked good enough against what is, I think we all agreed, a fairly modest Windies team.
But the abiding impression, not least because it was the last match, is of a very fragile batting line up which can score quickly but can fall apart at any time. It is epitomised in the tall, elegant frame of Zak Crawley. His last innings in the West Indies, where we were fighting to avoid defeat and he was opening the batting, consisted of 11 balls. He hit one gloriously through extra-cover for four, was dropped, hit the next over wide mid-off’s head for four and then snicked to second slip. England 14-1.
There must be something to be said for a return to the days when players realised that a Test takes a week to play and you have lots of time to stay in the middle, put some runs on the board and watch the scorers put the little white numbers on the hooks.
This & That
I have been in Chicago since the beginning of March and have seen no cricket but of course that will not stop me from airing views on what has been going on. I have been largely dependent on the BBC cricket live timeline and a couple of comments yesterday seemed apposite:
Richard in Glasgow: Not sure why people expect anything different. Root is England's only great player. Stokes is a good player who has great moments, not consistent enough to be win games regularly but does things nobody else can. After those two, and without Broad and Anderson, we have average Test players at best. It's not a combination than can consistently win.
Michael Vaughan: Resistance in this England team in non-existent. There's no fight, no togetherness - there's no spirit in this England team. You don't gift the opposition an easy win. This West Indies team are just OK and to see this England team just capitulate with no spirit or fight - there are big questions to ask.
It is not without significance that in both recent series an hitherto unknown international bowler has not only gone through the England batting but also done so without conceding any runs- Scott Boland and Karl Meyers. This shows that despite all we are told about preparation there was no effective plan to deal with these bowlers.
After the debacle in Australia I exchanged several emails with Steve Thompson and we came up with an easy solution to England’s problems. They should stop playing any tests overseas and play all matches at home. The dates should also be flexible to ensure that maximum cloud cover is available for their medium pacers to become unplayable. There will be no toss ups and the visitors will be required to bat first to maximise the benefits to the hosts.
The England team clearly needs a change of leadership. The problem is that the captain is the only player certain of his place. We now know that Broad and Anderson are out of favour and Stokes has to be treated as a casual member of the side given his regular injuries and personal commitments. However, if Root were replaced as captain would that have a detrimental impact on his form? Maybe if he were replaced it would have to be accepted that he might not continue in the side? But this might actually spur other players to step up?
The IPL got started last weekend and runs were relatively hard to come by. The Chennai Super Kings were 61 for 5 at the halfway mark but managed to struggle up to 131 thanks to Dhoni and Jadeja’s partnership. The Kolkata Knight Riders nevertheless knocked them of comfortably. On Sunday in the double header Ish Kish batted through the Mumbai Indians innings for 81 not out and strangely only faced 48 balls but the Delhi Capitals knocked them off easily. In the second match Faf du Plessis led the charge for Royal Challengers Bangalore with 88 from 52 balls but his side’s 205 for 2 was not enough as Punjab Kings breezed past them with Odean Smith finishing things off with 25 from 8 balls.
The Kolkata Knight Riders were 51 for 4 after 7 overs chasing a modest 141, but Sam Billings got the best seat in the house to watch Andre Russell deliver 70 not out from 31 balls with 8 sixes as they coasted to victory with five overs to spare. Jos Buttler has the only century in the competition so far and he followed this up with 70 not out which included 8 sixes and no fours.
The day I got back I saw the Mumbai Indians struggle to reach 161 for 4 mainly due to Pollard scoring 22 from the final five balls of the innings. When Andre Russell was fifth out for the Kolkata Night Riders the score was only 101 and defeat looked likely but Pat Cummins then scored the IPL’s fastest ever 50 in 14 balls and also hit his fifteenth for six to win the match.
In the International arena there have been some unpredictable results. Bangladesh were one win apiece in their ODI series in South Africa when, in the third match, they bowled South Africa out for 154 and then knocked them off to win by nine wickets, Tamim making 87 not out.
In Pakistan Khawaja keeps scoring runs for Australia and after a drawn first test, in which Shafique and Imam added 105 for the first wicket in their first innings and then 252 unbroken in their second, Pakistan looked set to lose the second test having been set 503 to win. However, led by Babr Azam who scored 196 and supported by Shafique, 96, and Rizwan, 104, they batted out the final day to end on 443 for 7. Interestingly apart from these three no other Pakistani batsman reached double figures.
In the ODI series after winning one match apiece Pakistan bowled Australia out for 210 and then knocked them off for the loss of just one wicket with 12 overs to spare. Babar made his second hundred of the series.
Gone are the days when a slow scoring batsman’s performance will be described as Morganesque. In the second test against the West Indies Alex Lees scored 30 from 138 balls in 191 minutes. In the final match he scored 31 from 97 in 131 minutes in the first innings followed up by 31 from 132 balls in 221 minutes in the second. A couple of years back Dom Sibley was praised for such dogged performances, but the critics soon turned on him when they discovered that this was his only pace.
In their 3 day warm up match against Cardiff UCCE Northants decided to bat until the end of Day 2 racking up 530 for 5 in the process. Their openers, Vasconcelos and Gay, were both dismissed for 98 which was unusual. However, they also formed the basis of a tricky quiz question in that both of their first names ended in o, Ricardo and Emilio, maybe a first?
The Rangers have been erratic this season. After many excellent results they have had a few howlers including losing at home to Barnsley and incredibly losing three times to Peterborough. They now look safe from any danger of promotion.
Morgan Matters
Jason Roy has taken a "short indefinite break from cricket" and has withdrawn from this season's IPL citing "bubble fatigue" (tired bubbles?). Surrey said he would be taking a complete rest from competitive cricket and would not join pre-season training.
Rod Marsh suffered a heart attack in Queensland last week and died in Adelaide on Friday. He played 96 Tests made 3,633 Test runs and took 355 dismissals. They are dropping like flies department: within the last half-hour Shane Warne has died of a heart attack aged 52. He is second on the list of all-time Test wicket-takers with 708 (Muralitharan is top with 800, Anderson third on 640 and Broad 6th on 537) at 25.41 and he also took 293 in ODIs at 25.73.
Blimey! The cricket season has started (on 22 March) and we have nice weather for it too!
Jason Roy has been given a suspended two match international ban and a £2,500 fine for "conducting himself in a manner which may be prejudicial to the interests of cricket or which may bring the game of cricket, the ECB and himself into disrepute". We are not told what his sin was.
I have now received and read the Middlesex Cricket Annual Review 2021: it is quite interesting, of course, but there is not much real news in 196 pages, although I did not know that Tim Selwood had died aged 76.
England will have to go back to picking the best team (won't they?) as this experiment has been a complete failure. Some of those who were upset at being omitted from the touring party are now glad they were not picked.
There is plenty of talk about England looking for a new captain, but the G tells us that "passionate Root insists he is the right man to captain England". Tim de Lisle gives us six captaincy contenders: B Stokes, S Broad, E Morgan, J Vince, L Livingstone and S Billings but does not sound convinced about any of them. Neither does Vic Marks sound convinced about his suggestions: R Burns, J Vince, T Abell, S Billings, T Westley and W Rhodes. Billings and Vince are the only 2 to appear in both lists. M Vaughan says "I would tell Joe Root to step down as England skipper, P Farbrace says "it is probably time for a change", but J Anderson says "if you get the right people in the two jobs above him, then he can still do a really good job".
The April Cricketer:
1. England have 13 players participating in this year's IPL: Moeen Ali, J Archer, J Bairstow, S Billings, J Buttler, A Hales, B Howell, C Jordan, L Livingstone, T Mills, J Roy, D Willey, M Wood.
2. Lord's is removing Oxford v Cambridge and Eton v Harrow from its fixture list after this summer: it has only taken them 171 years.
3. Football commentator Martin Tyler tells us that i) his grandfather took 340 wickets for Cheshire in the Minor Counties Championship and he took 7 wickets for the Minors v Ireland; ii) he shared a flat with Bob Willis and Geoff Howarth; and iii) he fielded as 12th man for a couple of days when Hants played Surrey at Portsmouth in 1982.
4.Gideon Haigh tells us that "with his on-field brilliance and off-field chaos, there was only ever excitement with Shane Warne around".
5. Sam Billings thinks he has done "the most matches as 12th man in world cricket, that's not a tag that I want".
6. In a preview of the coming County Cricket season Middlesex are forecast to be 3rd in division 2.
The end of the road for a famous willow
George sent me this sad tale
I was having a general tidy up yesterday and made a decision. I decided to throw away my Grey Nichols Crusader cricket bat. I think I've had it for 56 years. It was supposed to be the bees’ knees when it was purchased, but I never found the meat of it to be particularly good. Perhaps I didn't find the middle as often as I would like to have done.
The extraordinary thing is that I've had it that long and religiously moved house with it. I'm not sure whether it followed me to Oxford or to Sussex University, but I certainly had it when we moved to Hertford in 1975. Since then we moved from Hertford to Stokesley from Stokesley back to Burnham Green and then from Burnham Green to Carlton, then across to Chester where it stayed for 28 years and then moved to Cheltenham. I'm not sure that I never thought before about getting rid of it, but I can't understand why I've kept it that long. Since 1972 I think I played cricket with it about twice. My final memorable batting performance which helped Eymet get their first ever cricket win against Toulouse was played using borrowed equipment. It was indeed my first appearance for about 12 years and my last ever.
It’s in the dustbin.
County Moves
This is the time of year when you look at the scores and wonder why someone is playing in your team or wonder why someone else isn’t. Here is the BBC’s summary to aid you
DERBYSHIRE
Overseas players: Dustin Melton (Zimbabwe), Shan Masood (Pakistan), Suranga Lakmal (Sri Lanka)
In
Out
Alex Thomson (Warwickshire)
Fynn Hudson-Prentice (Sussex)
Mark Watt (for T20 Blast)
Nils Priestley (REL)
Harvey Hosein (RET)
Matt Critchley (Essex)
DURHAM
Overseas players: David Bedingham (South Africa), Keegan Petersen (South Africa, until 22 May)
In
Out
George Drissell (Somerset)
Cameron Steel (Surrey)
Stuart Poynter
Paul van Meekeren (Gloucestershire)
Will Young (Northamptonshire)
ESSEX
Overseas players: Simon Harmer (South Africa), Mark Steketee (Australia, until 22 May), Daniel Sams (Australia, for T20)
In
Out
Matt Critchley (Derbyshire)
Matt Quinn (Kent)
Ryan ten Doeschate (RET)
Varun Chopra (RET)
Peter Siddle (Somerset)
Jimmy Neesham (Northamptonshire)
GLAMORGAN
Overseas players: Marnus Labuschagne (Australia), Colin Ingram (South Africa), Michael Neser (Australia)
In
Out
Ed Byrom (Somerset)
Roman Walker (Leicestershire)
James Harris (Middlesex)
Nick Selman (REL)
Tegid Phillips (YTH)
Sam Northeast (Hampshire)
GLOUCESTERSHIRE
Overseas players: Marcus Harris (Australia), Zafar Gohar (Pakistan, pay-by-appearance to end of July, full-time afterwards), Naseem Shah (Pakistan, until end of T20 Blast group stage)
In
Out
Ajeet Dale (Hampshire)
Dan Worrall (Surrey, as domestic player with UKP)
Marcus Harris (Leicestershire)
George Hankins (REL)
Paul van Meekeren (Durham)
Harry Hankins (REL)
Will Naish (YTH)
HAMPSHIRE
Overseas players: Kyle Abbott (South Africa), Mohammad Abbas (Pakistan, first two months of season), Ben McDermott (Australia, for T20)
In
Out
Nick Gubbins (Middlesex)
Sam Northeast (Glamorgan)
Ross Whiteley (Worcestershire)
Ajeet Dale (Gloucestershire)
Harry Petrie (YTH)
Ryan Stevenson (RET)
Ben Brown (Sussex)
Brad Taylor (RET)
Tom Scriven (Leicestershire)
Tom Alsop (Sussex, season-long loan)
KENT
Overseas players: Matt Henry (New Zealand, from 10 July), Qais Ahmad (Afghanistan, for T20), George Linde (South Africa), Jackson Bird (Australia, until 22 May)
In
Out
Matt Quinn (Essex)
none
Ben Compton (Nottinghamshire)
LANCASHIRE
Overseas players: Dane Vilas (South Africa), Tim David (Singapore, for T20), Hasan Ali (Pakistan, until 22 May)
In
Out
Phil Salt (Sussex)
Alex Davies (Warwickshire)
Tim David (Surrey)
Taylor Cornall (Worcestershire)
George Burrows (Sussex)
LEICESTERSHIRE
Overseas players: Wiaan Mulder (South Africa), Naveen-ul-Haq (Afghanistan, for T20), Rahmanullah Gurbaz (Afghanistan, for T20), Beuran Hendricks (South Africa, for Championship and One-Day Cup)
In
Out
Roman Walker (Glamorgan)
Dieter Klein (REL)
Tom Scriven (Hampshire)
Marcus Harris (Gloucestershire)
Vikai Kelley (Warwickshire)
MIDDLESEX
Overseas players: Peter Handscomb (Australia), Shaheen Afridi (Pakistan, until mid-July), Mujeeb Ur Rahman (Afghanistan, for T20)
In
Out
Mark Stoneman (Surrey)
Nick Gubbins (Hampshire)
Daniel O’Driscoll (YTH)
James Harris (Glamorgan)
Steven Finn (Sussex)
Paul Stirling (Warwickshire)
NORTHAMPTONSHIRE
Overseas players: Will Young (New Zealand, for Championship and One-Day Cup), Jimmy Neesham (New Zealand, for T20), Matt Kelly (Australia, until 22 May)
In
Out
Gus Miller (YTH)
Richard Levi (REL)
Will Young (Durham)
Jimmy Neesham (Essex)
NOTTINGHAMSHIRE
Overseas players: Dane Paterson (South Africa), James Pattinson (Australia), Dan Christian (Australia, for T20)
In
Out
none
Ben Compton (Kent)
Tom Barber (REL)
Peter Trego (RET)
SOMERSET
Overseas players: Marchant de Lange (South Africa), Matt Renshaw (Australia, until at least end of August), Peter Siddle (Australia, until end of August)
In
Out
Peter Siddle (Essex)
Ed Byrom (Glamorgan)
Sam Young (REL)
Azhar Ali (Worcestershire)
SURREY
Overseas players: Kemar Roach (West Indies, until 8 May), Hashim Amla (South Africa), Sunil Narine (West Indies, for T20 Blast)
In
Out
Cameron Steel (Durham)
Mark Stoneman (Middlesex)
Dan Worrall (Gloucestershire, UKP)
Rikki Clarke (RET)
Chris Jordan (Sussex)
Liam Plunkett (REL)
Nathan Barnwell (YTH)
Jade Dernbach (REL)
Tom Lawes (YTH)
Gareth Batty (RET, becomes interim head coach)
Tim David (Lancashire)
SUSSEX
Overseas players: Mohammad Rizwan (Pakistan, until mid-June), Rashid Khan (Afghanistan, for T20), Cheteshwar Pujara (India), Josh Philippe (Australia, from mid-June)
In
Out
Fynn Hudson-Prentice (Derbyshire)
Mitch Claydon (RET)
Steven Finn (Middlesex)
Stuart Meaker (RET)
Tom Alsop (Hampshire, season-long loan)
Chris Jordan (Surrey)
George Burrows (Lancashire, first month of season)
Phil Salt (Lancashire)
Aaron Thomason (REL)
Ben Brown (Hampshire)
WARWICKSHIRE
Overseas players: Carlos Brathwaite (West Indies, for T20), Paul Stirling (Ireland, for T20)
In
Out
Alex Davies (Lancashire)
Alex Thomson (Derbyshire)
Paul Stirling (Middlesex)
Ed Pollock (Worcestershire)
Vikai Kelley (Leicestershire)
Tim Bresnan (RET)
WORCESTERSHIRE
Overseas players: Azhar Ali (Pakistan, for County Championship), Colin Munro (New Zealand, for T20), Dwayne Bravo (West Indies, for T20)
In
Out
Ed Pollock (Warwickshire)
Ross Whiteley (Hampshire)
Ben Gibbon (Cheshire)
Alex Milton (REL)
Taylor Cornall (Lancashire)
Daryl Mitchell (RET)
Azhar Ali (Somerset)
YORKSHIRE
Overseas players: Duanne Olivier (South Africa), Haris Rauf (Pakistan)
In
Out
none
none
Full Yorkshire squad list
Latest Yorkshire news
In Memoriam
Allen Bruton noticed in the Daily Telegraph that there was an obituary for Alan Day, who was a member of the formidable Hornsey side of the late sixties.
South Hampstead records
In 2004 Ken James invited me to salvage a large number of scorebooks and other historical data from the shed behind the pavilion at South Hampstead. I have used some of this information in Googlies whilst Bill Hart and Alan Cox transcribed many scorebooks into computer friendly format which enabled them to be uploaded to the web. It will be time for me to pass them on at some point in the future. Does anyone want to take custody of them or know of an appropriate repository?
Old Danes Gathering
The Last Old Danes Gathering will take place on Friday 29 July at Shepherds Bush CC. The day is the final day of the club's cricket week. The Gathering will commence at 2pm but attendees will be welcome throughout the afternoon.
This is not a gathering of cricketers and all Old Danes, their partners, friends and even non-Old Danes will be welcome. There is no dress code for the event and no prizes will be awarded for the oldest attendees.
I am circulating a list of attendees and apologies on a separate circulation list. If you would like to be added to this list please let me know.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
[email protected]
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 232
April 2022
Spot the Ball
The Barmy Army prepares for another gruelling session in Barbados.
(Douglas Miller & the Professor, John Adams)
Pre-Season Quiz
1.You are invited to take over the captaincy of the England team. What do you do?
a.Phone Joe Root and ask his advice.
b.Dig out your lucky rabbit’s foot.
c.Ask Heather Knight how it is done.
2.You have been appointed fixture secretary of your local cricket club. Which touring sides would you welcome in your cricket week?
a.The Syrian Swashbucklers.
b.The Iraqi Itinerants
c.The Uprooted Ukrainians
3.You have been asked to write a speech and have to decide which trite phrases to include:
a.We have been working round the clock to solve the problem
b.Right thinking people will support this view.
c.We are doing this for all the hard-working people.
4.You need to select a seamer to shore up one end for most of the season. Which of the following do you select?
a.Ollie Robinson
b.Mark Wood
c.Ben Stokes
5.You turn on the Sky Cricket channel only to find that Alex Lees is batting with Dom Sibley. How long will it take you to nod off?
a.The end of the first over
b.Before the first run is scored
c.As long as it takes to relocate the remote.
6.What considerations are relevant when planning a trip to Lord’s?
a.Will you get value for money if England are batting?
b.Parking at £50 for the day now looks cheap compared to the cost of petrol for the trip.
c.How many masks and ear plugs will you need if located near the Barmy Army?
7.When asked about you having modelled yourself on the Prime Minister, how do you respond?
a.Vomit
b.Lie and deny it. But then realise that that probably confirms it.
c.Ignore the question and carry on regardless.
Out and About with the Professor
Just to the left of the Sir Curtly Ambrose Stand in Antigua is a small traditional old black scoreboard with hooks on it from which to hang the numbers. It is pretty much the only thing inside the ground that works well. There are two giant electronic scoreboards: one was never turned on and the other sometimes showed some information, occasionally showed most of the information, and often showed none. There is also a replay screen, which didn’t; and a public address system that, for most of the first morning, declined to address the public. Indeed the failure of this last communication device meant that nobody realised that when the players lined-up and stood there they were respecting a minute’s silence for Shane Warne. The “nobody” included the person on the disco machine who played ear-crunching reggae music all the way through. The feeling on the terraces was that Warne would have found it all very funny.
But it’s not just Antigua. Virtually the same issues arose at Barbados and Grenada (not, mercifully, the minute’s silence). The scoreboards were hopeless, PA systems either didn’t work or made a variety of pulsating sounds at random points (Bairstow refused to bat in Antigua until it had been silenced) and, of course, those irritating revolving sightscreens constantly failed to revolve and showed the logo of some miserable business enterprise when it should have been white. In fact, in the first over at Barbados, one screen lost one of its slats which just fell out and had to be refitted during the match.
Why does this happen in the West Indies, or more particularly, in the cricket grounds? Outside the grounds electronic systems seem to work OK: in the bars and hotels and other public spaces and virtually every member of the population is permanently on the phone. So what is the problem? Or more to the point, why is there no solution?
If all this sounds a little churlish - even curmudgeonly – it does seem reasonable that for an international sporting event, shown to millions, someone might check to see if the scoreboards work before we start.
There were two other things that didn’t work on this trip. The first was the umpiring. There’s lots to be said in favour of local umpires and adjusted numbers of referrals but the standard must be higher. We counted over 20 decisions that were reversed or wrong in just the three Tests. In the end, the umpire’s finger going up was neither an occasion for celebration nor regret; it was more the start of negotiations. In Antigua, these negotiations took place in camera since the replay screen resisted any temptation to actually show what was being considered.
The final thing that didn’t work very well on this trip was, of course, the England team. That might sound a little harsh since in the first two Tests England played almost all the cricket (give or take the very first morning) and had they won the toss in Grenada (and fielded of course…not a certainty after Brisbane) they would probably have won the series. But the lack of quality in the side was shown up in two respects: the inability of the bowlers to take twenty wickets (14 in Antigua, 15 in Barbados, 10 in Grenada) and the abject collapse of the batting under pressure in the second innings in Grenada. The bowling was the subject of constant debate because of the absence of we know whom, but no one really expected that Woakes and Overton would run through a side, nor Woods (briefly) nor Mahmood either. On a decent pitch at this standard, it seems hard to think that Woakes and Overton can present much of a threat…and they didn’t. The ex-Test bowlers that we had in our box (Small and Malcolm) blamed the pitch and the general conclusion in the first match was that “the pitch had won” - but not so in Barbados. Here the batters, and Stokes especially in one of the great Test innings (which will soon be forgotten), set up a real opportunity which was not taken. Yes, I know that the pitch was also a bit slow, but it was turning – and turning quite a lot. The declaration might have been sooner but England had 65 overs to take 10 wickets on a turning pitch…and took 5.
Opinions in the stands differed as to what was the problem. We all agreed that Leach bowled too fast – but then he always does, but for me it wasn’t the speed so much, nor even the line; it was the length that he bowled. Normally criticism of a bowler’s length (especially a spin bowler) is that they have bowled too short, but not here. Leach bowled far too full for most of his 25 overs. The batter, even a diminutive one like Brathwaite or Blackwood, could and did rock forward and trap the ball before it could turn. Indeed, ball after ball found Brathwaite almost grinding the ball into the turf at fuller than half-volley length. We all know that for a spin bowler to do his or her work the batters must be drawn forward and have then to adjust to the spin if they are not right to the pitch. That is why it is called a good length. That is what spin bowlers are supposed to do. Since I know this and everybody who has ever watched cricket knows this, how come Mr Leach doesn’t. “Too easy at Taunton” doesn’t cut it for me – this is international cricket at supposedly the highest level – they ought to be able to bowl on a worn final afternoon pitch. If not, then we need someone who can.
I talked to people who said that Brathwaite was killing the game, he wasn’t “interested in a contest”. I think that might have been true, but it is decidedly beside the point. In a cricket match, or any sporting contest come to that, you can’t decide (or complain about) what your opponent can do – your job is to do the best that you can do…and we did not do that. Or if we did, the future does not look too bright.
Of course there were things to celebrate: two hundreds for Root (how can he concentrate when all is collapsing around his ears?); Crawley, Bairstow and the spectacular Stokes’ hundred; Foakes’ keeping (not quite at his best I thought – stood too far back and ended up taking hundreds of deliveries on the floor – and dropped a difficult chance…but still a vast improvement on Buttler); and Lawrence and Lees while far from making an unchallengeable case certainly did themselves no harm. By contrast none of the bowlers looked good enough against what is, I think we all agreed, a fairly modest Windies team.
But the abiding impression, not least because it was the last match, is of a very fragile batting line up which can score quickly but can fall apart at any time. It is epitomised in the tall, elegant frame of Zak Crawley. His last innings in the West Indies, where we were fighting to avoid defeat and he was opening the batting, consisted of 11 balls. He hit one gloriously through extra-cover for four, was dropped, hit the next over wide mid-off’s head for four and then snicked to second slip. England 14-1.
There must be something to be said for a return to the days when players realised that a Test takes a week to play and you have lots of time to stay in the middle, put some runs on the board and watch the scorers put the little white numbers on the hooks.
This & That
I have been in Chicago since the beginning of March and have seen no cricket but of course that will not stop me from airing views on what has been going on. I have been largely dependent on the BBC cricket live timeline and a couple of comments yesterday seemed apposite:
Richard in Glasgow: Not sure why people expect anything different. Root is England's only great player. Stokes is a good player who has great moments, not consistent enough to be win games regularly but does things nobody else can. After those two, and without Broad and Anderson, we have average Test players at best. It's not a combination than can consistently win.
Michael Vaughan: Resistance in this England team in non-existent. There's no fight, no togetherness - there's no spirit in this England team. You don't gift the opposition an easy win. This West Indies team are just OK and to see this England team just capitulate with no spirit or fight - there are big questions to ask.
It is not without significance that in both recent series an hitherto unknown international bowler has not only gone through the England batting but also done so without conceding any runs- Scott Boland and Karl Meyers. This shows that despite all we are told about preparation there was no effective plan to deal with these bowlers.
After the debacle in Australia I exchanged several emails with Steve Thompson and we came up with an easy solution to England’s problems. They should stop playing any tests overseas and play all matches at home. The dates should also be flexible to ensure that maximum cloud cover is available for their medium pacers to become unplayable. There will be no toss ups and the visitors will be required to bat first to maximise the benefits to the hosts.
The England team clearly needs a change of leadership. The problem is that the captain is the only player certain of his place. We now know that Broad and Anderson are out of favour and Stokes has to be treated as a casual member of the side given his regular injuries and personal commitments. However, if Root were replaced as captain would that have a detrimental impact on his form? Maybe if he were replaced it would have to be accepted that he might not continue in the side? But this might actually spur other players to step up?
The IPL got started last weekend and runs were relatively hard to come by. The Chennai Super Kings were 61 for 5 at the halfway mark but managed to struggle up to 131 thanks to Dhoni and Jadeja’s partnership. The Kolkata Knight Riders nevertheless knocked them of comfortably. On Sunday in the double header Ish Kish batted through the Mumbai Indians innings for 81 not out and strangely only faced 48 balls but the Delhi Capitals knocked them off easily. In the second match Faf du Plessis led the charge for Royal Challengers Bangalore with 88 from 52 balls but his side’s 205 for 2 was not enough as Punjab Kings breezed past them with Odean Smith finishing things off with 25 from 8 balls.
The Kolkata Knight Riders were 51 for 4 after 7 overs chasing a modest 141, but Sam Billings got the best seat in the house to watch Andre Russell deliver 70 not out from 31 balls with 8 sixes as they coasted to victory with five overs to spare. Jos Buttler has the only century in the competition so far and he followed this up with 70 not out which included 8 sixes and no fours.
The day I got back I saw the Mumbai Indians struggle to reach 161 for 4 mainly due to Pollard scoring 22 from the final five balls of the innings. When Andre Russell was fifth out for the Kolkata Night Riders the score was only 101 and defeat looked likely but Pat Cummins then scored the IPL’s fastest ever 50 in 14 balls and also hit his fifteenth for six to win the match.
In the International arena there have been some unpredictable results. Bangladesh were one win apiece in their ODI series in South Africa when, in the third match, they bowled South Africa out for 154 and then knocked them off to win by nine wickets, Tamim making 87 not out.
In Pakistan Khawaja keeps scoring runs for Australia and after a drawn first test, in which Shafique and Imam added 105 for the first wicket in their first innings and then 252 unbroken in their second, Pakistan looked set to lose the second test having been set 503 to win. However, led by Babr Azam who scored 196 and supported by Shafique, 96, and Rizwan, 104, they batted out the final day to end on 443 for 7. Interestingly apart from these three no other Pakistani batsman reached double figures.
In the ODI series after winning one match apiece Pakistan bowled Australia out for 210 and then knocked them off for the loss of just one wicket with 12 overs to spare. Babar made his second hundred of the series.
Gone are the days when a slow scoring batsman’s performance will be described as Morganesque. In the second test against the West Indies Alex Lees scored 30 from 138 balls in 191 minutes. In the final match he scored 31 from 97 in 131 minutes in the first innings followed up by 31 from 132 balls in 221 minutes in the second. A couple of years back Dom Sibley was praised for such dogged performances, but the critics soon turned on him when they discovered that this was his only pace.
In their 3 day warm up match against Cardiff UCCE Northants decided to bat until the end of Day 2 racking up 530 for 5 in the process. Their openers, Vasconcelos and Gay, were both dismissed for 98 which was unusual. However, they also formed the basis of a tricky quiz question in that both of their first names ended in o, Ricardo and Emilio, maybe a first?
The Rangers have been erratic this season. After many excellent results they have had a few howlers including losing at home to Barnsley and incredibly losing three times to Peterborough. They now look safe from any danger of promotion.
Morgan Matters
Jason Roy has taken a "short indefinite break from cricket" and has withdrawn from this season's IPL citing "bubble fatigue" (tired bubbles?). Surrey said he would be taking a complete rest from competitive cricket and would not join pre-season training.
Rod Marsh suffered a heart attack in Queensland last week and died in Adelaide on Friday. He played 96 Tests made 3,633 Test runs and took 355 dismissals. They are dropping like flies department: within the last half-hour Shane Warne has died of a heart attack aged 52. He is second on the list of all-time Test wicket-takers with 708 (Muralitharan is top with 800, Anderson third on 640 and Broad 6th on 537) at 25.41 and he also took 293 in ODIs at 25.73.
Blimey! The cricket season has started (on 22 March) and we have nice weather for it too!
Jason Roy has been given a suspended two match international ban and a £2,500 fine for "conducting himself in a manner which may be prejudicial to the interests of cricket or which may bring the game of cricket, the ECB and himself into disrepute". We are not told what his sin was.
I have now received and read the Middlesex Cricket Annual Review 2021: it is quite interesting, of course, but there is not much real news in 196 pages, although I did not know that Tim Selwood had died aged 76.
England will have to go back to picking the best team (won't they?) as this experiment has been a complete failure. Some of those who were upset at being omitted from the touring party are now glad they were not picked.
There is plenty of talk about England looking for a new captain, but the G tells us that "passionate Root insists he is the right man to captain England". Tim de Lisle gives us six captaincy contenders: B Stokes, S Broad, E Morgan, J Vince, L Livingstone and S Billings but does not sound convinced about any of them. Neither does Vic Marks sound convinced about his suggestions: R Burns, J Vince, T Abell, S Billings, T Westley and W Rhodes. Billings and Vince are the only 2 to appear in both lists. M Vaughan says "I would tell Joe Root to step down as England skipper, P Farbrace says "it is probably time for a change", but J Anderson says "if you get the right people in the two jobs above him, then he can still do a really good job".
The April Cricketer:
1. England have 13 players participating in this year's IPL: Moeen Ali, J Archer, J Bairstow, S Billings, J Buttler, A Hales, B Howell, C Jordan, L Livingstone, T Mills, J Roy, D Willey, M Wood.
2. Lord's is removing Oxford v Cambridge and Eton v Harrow from its fixture list after this summer: it has only taken them 171 years.
3. Football commentator Martin Tyler tells us that i) his grandfather took 340 wickets for Cheshire in the Minor Counties Championship and he took 7 wickets for the Minors v Ireland; ii) he shared a flat with Bob Willis and Geoff Howarth; and iii) he fielded as 12th man for a couple of days when Hants played Surrey at Portsmouth in 1982.
4.Gideon Haigh tells us that "with his on-field brilliance and off-field chaos, there was only ever excitement with Shane Warne around".
5. Sam Billings thinks he has done "the most matches as 12th man in world cricket, that's not a tag that I want".
6. In a preview of the coming County Cricket season Middlesex are forecast to be 3rd in division 2.
The end of the road for a famous willow
George sent me this sad tale
I was having a general tidy up yesterday and made a decision. I decided to throw away my Grey Nichols Crusader cricket bat. I think I've had it for 56 years. It was supposed to be the bees’ knees when it was purchased, but I never found the meat of it to be particularly good. Perhaps I didn't find the middle as often as I would like to have done.
The extraordinary thing is that I've had it that long and religiously moved house with it. I'm not sure whether it followed me to Oxford or to Sussex University, but I certainly had it when we moved to Hertford in 1975. Since then we moved from Hertford to Stokesley from Stokesley back to Burnham Green and then from Burnham Green to Carlton, then across to Chester where it stayed for 28 years and then moved to Cheltenham. I'm not sure that I never thought before about getting rid of it, but I can't understand why I've kept it that long. Since 1972 I think I played cricket with it about twice. My final memorable batting performance which helped Eymet get their first ever cricket win against Toulouse was played using borrowed equipment. It was indeed my first appearance for about 12 years and my last ever.
It’s in the dustbin.
County Moves
This is the time of year when you look at the scores and wonder why someone is playing in your team or wonder why someone else isn’t. Here is the BBC’s summary to aid you
DERBYSHIRE
Overseas players: Dustin Melton (Zimbabwe), Shan Masood (Pakistan), Suranga Lakmal (Sri Lanka)
In
Out
Alex Thomson (Warwickshire)
Fynn Hudson-Prentice (Sussex)
Mark Watt (for T20 Blast)
Nils Priestley (REL)
Harvey Hosein (RET)
Matt Critchley (Essex)
DURHAM
Overseas players: David Bedingham (South Africa), Keegan Petersen (South Africa, until 22 May)
In
Out
George Drissell (Somerset)
Cameron Steel (Surrey)
Stuart Poynter
Paul van Meekeren (Gloucestershire)
Will Young (Northamptonshire)
ESSEX
Overseas players: Simon Harmer (South Africa), Mark Steketee (Australia, until 22 May), Daniel Sams (Australia, for T20)
In
Out
Matt Critchley (Derbyshire)
Matt Quinn (Kent)
Ryan ten Doeschate (RET)
Varun Chopra (RET)
Peter Siddle (Somerset)
Jimmy Neesham (Northamptonshire)
GLAMORGAN
Overseas players: Marnus Labuschagne (Australia), Colin Ingram (South Africa), Michael Neser (Australia)
In
Out
Ed Byrom (Somerset)
Roman Walker (Leicestershire)
James Harris (Middlesex)
Nick Selman (REL)
Tegid Phillips (YTH)
Sam Northeast (Hampshire)
GLOUCESTERSHIRE
Overseas players: Marcus Harris (Australia), Zafar Gohar (Pakistan, pay-by-appearance to end of July, full-time afterwards), Naseem Shah (Pakistan, until end of T20 Blast group stage)
In
Out
Ajeet Dale (Hampshire)
Dan Worrall (Surrey, as domestic player with UKP)
Marcus Harris (Leicestershire)
George Hankins (REL)
Paul van Meekeren (Durham)
Harry Hankins (REL)
Will Naish (YTH)
HAMPSHIRE
Overseas players: Kyle Abbott (South Africa), Mohammad Abbas (Pakistan, first two months of season), Ben McDermott (Australia, for T20)
In
Out
Nick Gubbins (Middlesex)
Sam Northeast (Glamorgan)
Ross Whiteley (Worcestershire)
Ajeet Dale (Gloucestershire)
Harry Petrie (YTH)
Ryan Stevenson (RET)
Ben Brown (Sussex)
Brad Taylor (RET)
Tom Scriven (Leicestershire)
Tom Alsop (Sussex, season-long loan)
KENT
Overseas players: Matt Henry (New Zealand, from 10 July), Qais Ahmad (Afghanistan, for T20), George Linde (South Africa), Jackson Bird (Australia, until 22 May)
In
Out
Matt Quinn (Essex)
none
Ben Compton (Nottinghamshire)
LANCASHIRE
Overseas players: Dane Vilas (South Africa), Tim David (Singapore, for T20), Hasan Ali (Pakistan, until 22 May)
In
Out
Phil Salt (Sussex)
Alex Davies (Warwickshire)
Tim David (Surrey)
Taylor Cornall (Worcestershire)
George Burrows (Sussex)
LEICESTERSHIRE
Overseas players: Wiaan Mulder (South Africa), Naveen-ul-Haq (Afghanistan, for T20), Rahmanullah Gurbaz (Afghanistan, for T20), Beuran Hendricks (South Africa, for Championship and One-Day Cup)
In
Out
Roman Walker (Glamorgan)
Dieter Klein (REL)
Tom Scriven (Hampshire)
Marcus Harris (Gloucestershire)
Vikai Kelley (Warwickshire)
MIDDLESEX
Overseas players: Peter Handscomb (Australia), Shaheen Afridi (Pakistan, until mid-July), Mujeeb Ur Rahman (Afghanistan, for T20)
In
Out
Mark Stoneman (Surrey)
Nick Gubbins (Hampshire)
Daniel O’Driscoll (YTH)
James Harris (Glamorgan)
Steven Finn (Sussex)
Paul Stirling (Warwickshire)
NORTHAMPTONSHIRE
Overseas players: Will Young (New Zealand, for Championship and One-Day Cup), Jimmy Neesham (New Zealand, for T20), Matt Kelly (Australia, until 22 May)
In
Out
Gus Miller (YTH)
Richard Levi (REL)
Will Young (Durham)
Jimmy Neesham (Essex)
NOTTINGHAMSHIRE
Overseas players: Dane Paterson (South Africa), James Pattinson (Australia), Dan Christian (Australia, for T20)
In
Out
none
Ben Compton (Kent)
Tom Barber (REL)
Peter Trego (RET)
SOMERSET
Overseas players: Marchant de Lange (South Africa), Matt Renshaw (Australia, until at least end of August), Peter Siddle (Australia, until end of August)
In
Out
Peter Siddle (Essex)
Ed Byrom (Glamorgan)
Sam Young (REL)
Azhar Ali (Worcestershire)
SURREY
Overseas players: Kemar Roach (West Indies, until 8 May), Hashim Amla (South Africa), Sunil Narine (West Indies, for T20 Blast)
In
Out
Cameron Steel (Durham)
Mark Stoneman (Middlesex)
Dan Worrall (Gloucestershire, UKP)
Rikki Clarke (RET)
Chris Jordan (Sussex)
Liam Plunkett (REL)
Nathan Barnwell (YTH)
Jade Dernbach (REL)
Tom Lawes (YTH)
Gareth Batty (RET, becomes interim head coach)
Tim David (Lancashire)
SUSSEX
Overseas players: Mohammad Rizwan (Pakistan, until mid-June), Rashid Khan (Afghanistan, for T20), Cheteshwar Pujara (India), Josh Philippe (Australia, from mid-June)
In
Out
Fynn Hudson-Prentice (Derbyshire)
Mitch Claydon (RET)
Steven Finn (Middlesex)
Stuart Meaker (RET)
Tom Alsop (Hampshire, season-long loan)
Chris Jordan (Surrey)
George Burrows (Lancashire, first month of season)
Phil Salt (Lancashire)
Aaron Thomason (REL)
Ben Brown (Hampshire)
WARWICKSHIRE
Overseas players: Carlos Brathwaite (West Indies, for T20), Paul Stirling (Ireland, for T20)
In
Out
Alex Davies (Lancashire)
Alex Thomson (Derbyshire)
Paul Stirling (Middlesex)
Ed Pollock (Worcestershire)
Vikai Kelley (Leicestershire)
Tim Bresnan (RET)
WORCESTERSHIRE
Overseas players: Azhar Ali (Pakistan, for County Championship), Colin Munro (New Zealand, for T20), Dwayne Bravo (West Indies, for T20)
In
Out
Ed Pollock (Warwickshire)
Ross Whiteley (Hampshire)
Ben Gibbon (Cheshire)
Alex Milton (REL)
Taylor Cornall (Lancashire)
Daryl Mitchell (RET)
Azhar Ali (Somerset)
YORKSHIRE
Overseas players: Duanne Olivier (South Africa), Haris Rauf (Pakistan)
In
Out
none
none
Full Yorkshire squad list
Latest Yorkshire news
In Memoriam
Allen Bruton noticed in the Daily Telegraph that there was an obituary for Alan Day, who was a member of the formidable Hornsey side of the late sixties.
South Hampstead records
In 2004 Ken James invited me to salvage a large number of scorebooks and other historical data from the shed behind the pavilion at South Hampstead. I have used some of this information in Googlies whilst Bill Hart and Alan Cox transcribed many scorebooks into computer friendly format which enabled them to be uploaded to the web. It will be time for me to pass them on at some point in the future. Does anyone want to take custody of them or know of an appropriate repository?
Old Danes Gathering
The Last Old Danes Gathering will take place on Friday 29 July at Shepherds Bush CC. The day is the final day of the club's cricket week. The Gathering will commence at 2pm but attendees will be welcome throughout the afternoon.
This is not a gathering of cricketers and all Old Danes, their partners, friends and even non-Old Danes will be welcome. There is no dress code for the event and no prizes will be awarded for the oldest attendees.
I am circulating a list of attendees and apologies on a separate circulation list. If you would like to be added to this list please let me know.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
[email protected]
