G&C 168
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 168
December 2016
1. Jadeja: What does Rashid bowl?
Rahane: Long hops.
2. Virat Kholi: I don’t understand how the referral system works. When the batsman is given not out and I appeal the umpire sticks with his decision. When the batsmen is given out and he appeals he is given not out. What am I missing?
3. Ben Duckett: What is the difference between Lions and test cricket?
Ben Stokes: In your case about 180 runs per innings.
4. Yadav: I hear this new guy, Jennings, is another left hander.
Ashwin: That’s right and so are Gubbins, Lyth and Malan. Bring ‘em on.
5. Jonny Bairstow: What would be the measure of a good wicket keeper?
Jos Buttler: One who takes all the chances that are offered, I guess.
Jonny Baistow: That seems a bit steep.
Out and About with the Professor
During the First Test at Rajkot the camera was forever seeking out the elegant figure of Dilip Doshi in the stands. Now a retired gentleman of mature years, he is obviously something of a local celebrity. Googlies readers will remember him as one of the (very many) excellent Indian spin bowlers of the past.
That is not how I remember him.
I remember Dilip Doshi from the first time I saw his name. It was on a team sheet for Hertfordshire. I, and most other people at the Hitchin ground that day, had never heard of him – indeed I think it might just about have been his first game in England. The year was 1975 (or thereabouts) and this chap, who looked like a very respectable bank clerk, was Hertfordshire’s professional in a Gillette Cup (or whatever it was called then) match against Essex. Hertfordshire versus Essex in those days was, it would be fair to say, something of a mismatch. But still, it was an opportunity to see international cricketers (Gooch, Fletcher, Lever, etc.) at a local ground and to see how our boys got on against them.
Well, not very well, was the answer. Hertfordshire batted first, for some reason, and only made about 150 in the (then) 60 overs. The bank clerk batted at 9, or 10 and, in truth, did not bat as well as the average bank clerk might have done. He was very smartly turned out and clearly knew how to take guard but that was about it. I think he missed his first or second ball and had he stayed at the crease any longer would no doubt have missed his third, fourth and so on.
When Hertfordshire took the field it became clear that he knew where the various fielding positions were located but only had a rudimentary idea of what fielding entailed. He dropped two catches and when a not-very-hard-hit ball went through his legs for 4 the “crowd” (that is to say myself, a few friends and colleagues – one of whom is a regular Googlies reader - and a dozen or so Hitchin members in the bar) began to get a touch restive.
Two things to remember. This was our star player (who we had never heard of), he was our professional (that is to say it was our subs that were funding him) and he was crap. From what we had seen so far he wouldn’t have got into Welwyn’s fourth team – and we only had three XIs at the time. The other thing to remember is that the Hitchin bar had been open for some time.
When he miss-fielded again the crowd began, in the modern expression, to “get after” Dilip. In truth we gave him some terrible stick. A former captain of Welwyn was particularly bellicose (as well as particularly drunk) and Mr Doshi was only saved from physical abuse, when nearby on the boundary, by the restraining hands of the more sensible and well-bred spectators (…well that’s how I remember it).
Essex were strolling along at 50, 60, 70 for 1 when the ball was thrown (well given, I think, to save having to pick it up) to Dilip. This was, by now, not a popular decision. I recall the word “wanker” being deployed with some regularity, as in: “What’s that wanker (expletive deleted) given that wanker (expletive deleted) the wanking ball for? (several inarticulate expletives deleted).
Well, we were about to find out. Our bank clerk approached the crease with all the athleticism for which bank clerks are so widely renown and dropped six deliveries on a length just beating the outside edge of the right-handers. Ken McEwan, who must have been eying up a nice comfortable 70 or 80 not, was bowled, Gooch followed soon after, and a couple more a few overs later.
Essex all out for bugger all.
Doshi - Man of the Match.
A famous victory! “I always knew he was a star”. “You could tell, even though his fielding wasn’t very good”…and much more bollocks into the night.
Doshi soon left Hertfordshire, joined Warwickshire, then India and, well, you know the rest.
As for the match itself, and the series so far, I suppose there has something of a grim inevitability about it. The pitches have received the normal attention and that of the second test was very poor and you could reasonably say that the match went with the toss. But that was not true of the first match where the pitch, which looked from the TV pictures to be dreadful, produced six hundreds nor, of course, the third. I didn’t think Cook could have declared much earlier, although he always comes in for criticism from the commentary box whose members would all have been more adventurous, at least, in their imaginations. Whenever I hear Hussain talking about the England captaincy I remember his efforts …and we all remember Beefy’s. (Isn’t it time, by the way, to refresh the Sky team; they have become a dreary repetitive lot).
x
The second Test went with toss although I think we would have to concede that India are better equipped to win in India. Indeed they looked a pretty decent side in this game. England weren't helped by the run out, the dropping of Kohli and the form of Duckett, who had no form. I haven’t seen Duckett live (Yorkshire, you know, don’t play in the lower divisions) but I assume that in Div 2 he sticks out that chest and slaps the medium pacers all round the park. Might it just be that the step up from county to Test cricket is two steps from the lower division…or is it just that India is a bloody tough place to start? By the third Test, something like panic had begun to set in.
The familiar problems: top order batting and spin bowling are still there. I don’t understand why England went back on the earlier intention to send out Anderson and Hales after the Bangladesh tour. Or went back on half of it anyway. Difficult to know how well Hales would have got on and Hameed may have made the place his own, although now, of course, there is the injury and Keaton Jennings is on his way. I saw an interview with Bayliss who said that Hales’ decision not to tour Bangladesh (along with Morgan of course) would not damage his chances of returning to open in India. It does, however, appear to have done so. Playing Buttler always looked like desperation and both his shots to get out were wretchedly ill-judged (mind you, he was not alone in that). Given the squad they had in India, the impossibility of playing Ballance or Duckett, perhaps there was little else to be done. Moreover, it is difficult to be confident that Hales, or any other English batter, would have succeeded. I wonder if Jennings will.
Taking the positives - as I fear we must now say - Rushid is beginning to look like a test match bowler, although he still bowls too many long-hops for my liking…even if one of them did get a wicket. Hameed defiantly looked the part and, given the extent of the injury, his knock in the second innings was a stunning effort. I also think Bairstow’s keeping has improved noticeably but apart from that….well.
Let’s hope for better in Mumbai. Last time I was there I saw KP play one of the great test match innings. I wonder if Melbourne Renegades would be willing…..
Reflections on India, so far
Long term readers of this august publication will recall my regular references to Tour Madness in the early years. I fear that we are beginning to experience a return of this phenomena on the current tour of India.
Let’s start with the strange case of our Zimbabwean, Gary Ballance. Why is he on this tour? After a pretty average season in England he was selected for this tour and indeed was selected for the first test. He was then dropped and has no chance of winning a place back since there are no other matches for him to prove his worth. I suspect that we will see him again when he will come in by default. No doubt he has looked good in the nets and that will clinch it.
At one time in the not so distant past England seemed to have a plethora of young batsmen in intense competition to break through into the national side. Where have they all gone?
They decided to throw Ben Duckett in at the deep end by making his test debut on the sub continent. It nevertheless surprised most that his technique was exposed so much and so early. Consequently two of the main line batsmen, Balance and Duckett are now virtually unselectable for the rest of the tour.
Alex Hales seemed to be making the transition from one day tonker to test blocker but then absented himself from the Bangla Desh tour. He may well ultimately be pleased to have missed out on the Indian test series but one wonders if he will be recalled for the one day matches now that Jennings has got the nod as replacement for Hameed. Jennings, of course, is another left hander and I suspect Ashwin would welcome his selection. Since Root is happy enough opening one wonders whether Jennings will actually play or is he there just to get the atmosphere? There may be plenty of that with Ballance prowling around the dressing room.
James Vince was given a full series in the summer but the lack of a substantial innings seems to have shot his bolt at least for the time being. James Taylor was forced into premature retirement and is turning out to be a bigger loss than many would have thought.
Jonny Bairstow is one of the leading test batsmen this year and his selection as a wicket keeping allrounder seems to be stopping him from commanding a place higher up the order. Perhaps if we would only play a proper keeper he could have the number four slot.
Moeen Ali seemed to have made the number eight position all his own and then once stepping onto Indian soil he suddenly became a number five and then in the third test number four in the first innings and number three in the second innings. Moeen is another of our left handers and packing the top of the order with them seems like cannon fodder to Ashwin and Yadav.
Sam Billings seems only to be considered as a one day merchant and like Hales he may benefit from not being subject to an Indian examination.
Its not at all clear why Buttler is on the test tour but he now finds himself playing as a batsman which must be somewhat galling to Ballance. There must be a good chance that Woakes will be picked as a batsman by the end of the tour if only to keep Ballance and Duckett out of the side. Tour madness indeed.
******
Spin bowling has completely changed again. Or at least the methods of batting against it has had to with the adoption of the referral system. There was a time not too long ago when if you pushed forward to the spinners you were safe whether it hit the bat, pad or both. Now the camera will track whether it was going on to hit the stumps or not. Consequently batsmen are now given out when their front leg is at full stretch down the wicket. The only good news for batsmen is that the camera will also establish whether the ball has pitched outside leg stump or whether the ball’s impact is outside the line of the stumps. But the net effect is that many batsmen are given out on referral now when in yesteryear the delivery would not have warranted an appeal.
*****
Jimmy Anderson is rightly lauded as a great bowler these days but spectators in India must be wondering what all the fuss is about. As far as they are concerned he is a medium pacer who doesn’t seam or swing the ball. Much the same might be said of his mate Broady.
Morgan Matters
The Great Jack Morgan comments
England have named the current squad in Bangladesh for the India tour, though Anderson could be added should he prove his fitness. England are going to employ some sort of rota for the current tour and the word is that Broad and Batty are to be "rested" (they must be knackered after one Test) and they are to be replaced by Finn or Ball and Ansari. I am happy to see Finn/ Ball/ Ansari get a game, but I think we should be putting out our strongest team to try and win the series first. M Vaughan thinks England will be whitewashed in India.
Andy Bull has a long article in today's G in which he queries why (among other things) Moeen, Batty, Rashid and Ansari were chosen ahead of the two best spinners in the country, Jack Leach and Ollie Rayner. Vic has, of course, mentioned Jack from time to time, but this is the first I have seen of Ollie's omission being queried. Vic's latest point was that Leach was omitted because he only takes wickets on real turners like those at Taunton this year, but that is what we have in Asia at present... real turners!
People are expecting to see Anderson selected for the next Test, but it is not clear who will be omitted. Vic thinks that they might not pick Anderson until the 3rd Test. When they do pick him, I think the likeliest is that Woakesy will be "rested" as Broad has already had his rest.
BBC website readers reckon the best England captains are/ were: 1 M Brearley, 2 M Vaughan, 3 A Strauss, 4 A Cook, 5 D Jardine. How many people could have sufficiently clear memories of Jardine to be able to compare him with eg Cook? My spellchecker cannot remember Jardine at all and wondered if I had meant “sardine”!
The Cricketer is now inviting us to vote on the best England skippers. They give us a full page write up on each of their top ten: Jardine, Chapman, Grace, Hutton, May, Illingworth, Hussain, Brearley, Vaughan and Strauss, then another page on Atherton, then another page on the top 3 women's captains (Heyhoe Flint, Connor and Edwards), then another page on the 13 "next best" men skippers: Bligh, Shrewsbury, Steel, Stoddart, Warner, Douglas, Dexter, Close, Greig, Gower, Gatting, Gooch and Stewart, then a four page article on Cook! Then there is a horrible blunder on page 60 where M Henderson's article from page 20 has been repeated and so denies us the first page of Rob Steen's rather good (and irreverent) 4-page piece on Gubby Allen! On page 104, the obituaries start with "John Gleeson: off-spinner's mystique impressed Bradman and Sobers"!
England are talking about Buttler, Woakes and Batty as I suggested, but they are also apparently considering playing four seamers and leaving Batty out. I have not seen the wicket, of course, but it would be a strange ploy in India. Rob Smyth, in the G, wants S Billings in the team (apparently he is a "spin-playing specialist")... shame he is not even in the country really.
There does not seem to be anything definite coming from the England camp but V Marks and A Martin seem convinced that Buttler will bat at four in the Test. I think Jos should get a chance, but I do not follow why it has to be at four. Bairstow, for example, appears to be batting way too low at no 7; his keeping has its weaknesses, but his batting has been terrific in recent times, so why keep him at seven where he ran out of partners in the last Test? He usually bats at five for Yorks, Stokes has also often batted at five for Durham and Moeen at three for Worcs: these England positions should not be set in stone. Both Vic and Ali also discuss the bowling and Batty does not get a mention by either of them: I do not get it.
Middlesex's first Championship game is away to Hampshire in mid-April; I doubt that will attract me at that time of year. Our first home Championship game is v Essex on 21/4 and the first one day cup game is home to Sussex on 27/4. As expected, Middlesex will not host one of the floodlit Championship matches.
Jos is confirmed in the England team for the Mohali Test, but Cook is hinting he will bat at 7. Woakes will surely replace Broad and Vic has reluctantly admitted that "the pitch looks sufficiently dry" for Batty to be picked, but this will not be decided until just before the toss.
Pathetic. Hameed did well but he is out of the next two Tests. England have moved up to 2nd in the Test rankings... funny old game isn't it?
Bowden Matters
Alex Bowden writes
The main thing we take from day one of the first Test between Australia and South Africa is that the five one-dayers they played in South Africa recently weren’t proper international matches and so they probably shouldn’t have bothered.
Australia’s bowling attack for those matches was a recurring theme in our weekly Cricket Badger newsletter (sign up here). Plenty of players were injured, but a few were rested too, meaning Australia got to showcase the full extent of their pace bowling weakness in depth.
Chris Tremain, Joe Mennie, Daniel Worrall and Scott Boland. The names are so unfamiliar, it feels a bit like you’ve somehow found yourself reading an article about 1980s baseball players. They all got panned and Australia got panned. And what did it prove?
Ten years after we first predicted it, squad rotation is now part and parcel of international cricket. But while a rested fast bowler here or there is one thing, there is a threshold beyond which matches cease to have any real meaning. At what point is a team international in name and attire only?
Management of resources is part of the game, but with different teams taking different approaches, you’re not always seeing like pitted against like.
Never mind the mismatches, if a weaker nation beats a deliberately compromised but otherwise stronger nation, does that even count for much? If the defeated team can easily explain away their defeat, that devalues the contest and denied even the opportunity to record an unarguable victory, the weaker nation’s fixtures are diminished.
Outside of World Cups, one-day matches have always been a little more transitory, but as this Australia v South Africa Test series wears on, it’ll be intriguing to look back on the one-day series that immediately preceded it and ask whether it really was genuine international cricket.
Big Scoring Matters
You will know by now that I consider that all big innings are noteworthy and so its hats off to Azhar Ali who made 302 not out in a recent test against the West Indies. No Englishman has reached a triple hundred since Gooch in the last century.
News from Harrogate
After returning from a well deserved vacation the Professor sent me this
Michael Atherton's son made his debut for Radlett seconds a few weeks' ago. Paddy Carlin was umpiring. No chance...LBW second ball.
King Cricket
Alex Bowden, the writer of the King Cricket blog, encourages his readers to report on first class matches without reference to the game itself.
Sam writes:
It rained on the drive from Cornwall to Somerset. We had left our 18-month old son at home, and brought along our 34-year-old friend instead. He turned out to be slightly lower maintenance.
The seating rules were not clear, so we plonked ourselves behind the bowler’s arm underneath the new pavilion.
Taunton has a lot of pavilions.
Before leaving the house, my wife had asked if I had washed the strawberries. I said yes. Mistake number one. As noon approached, she turned to me and said ‘Well done on washing the strawberries’. I told her I hadn’t actually washed them. Mistake number two. A mini argument ensued. I decided to sulk by not eating my lunch until 2pm.
Our friend suggested we “do a circuit”. My wife didn’t know what that meant. We explained the concept of doing a circuit. We left it until the break between innings. Mistake number three.
There were lots of pictures of Ian Botham and Sir Viv Richards on the walls. “How are we going to cope when Sir Viv Richards dies?” I asked. Nobody seemed to know.
We visited the shop to buy a mini cricket set for our son, then the bookshop to pick up a cricket-themed romance novel for £1.
I discovered a programme from the 1992 England v Pakistan Test at Edgbaston. I once owned that programme, aged seven. Leafing through, it brought back some overwhelming emotions. If I had a therapist, I would have been straight on the phone to him.
I had brought along some Waitrose Country Slices, to much ridicule. “They look vile,” my friend said. All the more for me, I thought gleefully. I ate all six.
In the afternoon we started feeling sleepy and went in search of refreshment. I ordered a latte and discovered a tea bag hidden inside. “That can’t be right”, I said. Nobody seemed to know.
Marcus Trescothick was wandering around the perimeter. “Must be nice to walk around like you own the place,” my wife said.
Back in Cornwall, we went for a curry. We skipped starters and poppadoms. I had prawn saag and lemon rice. My wife offered to drive the rest of the way home so I could have another pint.
We finished the day scrolling through YouTube trying to find footage of that time Gareth Batty and Peter Trego had a fight. We couldn’t find it. We ended up watching a video of Jade Dernbach showing off the contents of his kitbag.
Ged Matters
Ged writes:
This was to be my last sighting of live cricket this season; even though it was a day one at Lord’s, I knew I was to be busy working or otherwise not around for the rest of the match.
As tradition now has it, Charley “the Gent” Malloy joins me for a day during that last County Championship match of the season.
I was starting to run out of new ideas for picnic food for this season, but Daisy had started a new weekend fad of buying amazing smoked fishes from the Polish deli in Ealing.
The weekend before this match, in a fit of over-enthusiasm, Daisy had bought, amongst other smoked delicacies, a whole smoked eel. Smoked eel is one of my favourites as well as one of hers, but a whole smoked eel is a big fella. I suggested that Daisy might donate some of the smoked eel to the Ged and Chas Picnic Benevolent Society. She agreed wholeheartedly.
The night before, I mused about the picnic and decided to safeguard proceedings by procuring some nice juicy prawns as well, so that if Chas really didn’t go for eel, I could eat two eel rolls and Chas could eat two prawn ones.
An early trip to the bakers (Championship matches start at 10.30am in September, remember) secured a couple of particularly interesting breakfast muffins and two big bagels.
Of course Chas was at the ground in good time. Of course we nabbed a couple of prime seats on death row before the start of play. Naturally I outlined the proposed picnic. Chas exclaimed that he didn’t think he’d ever tried smoked eel before but that he’d enjoy giving it a try.
So, we enjoyed our prawn muffin jobbies late morning while still on death row, then the smoked eel bagels a bit later in the day.
Chas showed little emotion in the matter of the eel bagels at the time. I think he might have mentioned that his all-time favourite remains the wild Alaskan salmon, but that hardly needs saying. He did say that he liked it, so I thought that was a pretty successful variation on our picnic theme.
The next day, however, I got a kindly thank you email from Chas (as usual) that also included the following short paragraph:
“I think I have yet another phobia – you guessed it, smoked eel! What is completely ludicrous is I actually liked it but can’t mentally cope with eating it, I’m a little troubled with all of that!”
I responded with the following wise words and links on the matter:
“Eels are simply elongated fish; nothing weird about them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eel
…unless you jelly them rather than smoke them, the former being kinda Essex weird…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jellied_eels”
No doubt Charley and I will discuss the matter of eels some more when next we meet, which at the time of writing up this match report (April 2016) will be very soon indeed – like, next week. But I’ve taken the hint, so it won’t be “eel meat again” for the start of the 2016 season.
Googlies Website
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www.googliesandchinamen.com
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 168
December 2016
1. Jadeja: What does Rashid bowl?
Rahane: Long hops.
2. Virat Kholi: I don’t understand how the referral system works. When the batsman is given not out and I appeal the umpire sticks with his decision. When the batsmen is given out and he appeals he is given not out. What am I missing?
3. Ben Duckett: What is the difference between Lions and test cricket?
Ben Stokes: In your case about 180 runs per innings.
4. Yadav: I hear this new guy, Jennings, is another left hander.
Ashwin: That’s right and so are Gubbins, Lyth and Malan. Bring ‘em on.
5. Jonny Bairstow: What would be the measure of a good wicket keeper?
Jos Buttler: One who takes all the chances that are offered, I guess.
Jonny Baistow: That seems a bit steep.
Out and About with the Professor
During the First Test at Rajkot the camera was forever seeking out the elegant figure of Dilip Doshi in the stands. Now a retired gentleman of mature years, he is obviously something of a local celebrity. Googlies readers will remember him as one of the (very many) excellent Indian spin bowlers of the past.
That is not how I remember him.
I remember Dilip Doshi from the first time I saw his name. It was on a team sheet for Hertfordshire. I, and most other people at the Hitchin ground that day, had never heard of him – indeed I think it might just about have been his first game in England. The year was 1975 (or thereabouts) and this chap, who looked like a very respectable bank clerk, was Hertfordshire’s professional in a Gillette Cup (or whatever it was called then) match against Essex. Hertfordshire versus Essex in those days was, it would be fair to say, something of a mismatch. But still, it was an opportunity to see international cricketers (Gooch, Fletcher, Lever, etc.) at a local ground and to see how our boys got on against them.
Well, not very well, was the answer. Hertfordshire batted first, for some reason, and only made about 150 in the (then) 60 overs. The bank clerk batted at 9, or 10 and, in truth, did not bat as well as the average bank clerk might have done. He was very smartly turned out and clearly knew how to take guard but that was about it. I think he missed his first or second ball and had he stayed at the crease any longer would no doubt have missed his third, fourth and so on.
When Hertfordshire took the field it became clear that he knew where the various fielding positions were located but only had a rudimentary idea of what fielding entailed. He dropped two catches and when a not-very-hard-hit ball went through his legs for 4 the “crowd” (that is to say myself, a few friends and colleagues – one of whom is a regular Googlies reader - and a dozen or so Hitchin members in the bar) began to get a touch restive.
Two things to remember. This was our star player (who we had never heard of), he was our professional (that is to say it was our subs that were funding him) and he was crap. From what we had seen so far he wouldn’t have got into Welwyn’s fourth team – and we only had three XIs at the time. The other thing to remember is that the Hitchin bar had been open for some time.
When he miss-fielded again the crowd began, in the modern expression, to “get after” Dilip. In truth we gave him some terrible stick. A former captain of Welwyn was particularly bellicose (as well as particularly drunk) and Mr Doshi was only saved from physical abuse, when nearby on the boundary, by the restraining hands of the more sensible and well-bred spectators (…well that’s how I remember it).
Essex were strolling along at 50, 60, 70 for 1 when the ball was thrown (well given, I think, to save having to pick it up) to Dilip. This was, by now, not a popular decision. I recall the word “wanker” being deployed with some regularity, as in: “What’s that wanker (expletive deleted) given that wanker (expletive deleted) the wanking ball for? (several inarticulate expletives deleted).
Well, we were about to find out. Our bank clerk approached the crease with all the athleticism for which bank clerks are so widely renown and dropped six deliveries on a length just beating the outside edge of the right-handers. Ken McEwan, who must have been eying up a nice comfortable 70 or 80 not, was bowled, Gooch followed soon after, and a couple more a few overs later.
Essex all out for bugger all.
Doshi - Man of the Match.
A famous victory! “I always knew he was a star”. “You could tell, even though his fielding wasn’t very good”…and much more bollocks into the night.
Doshi soon left Hertfordshire, joined Warwickshire, then India and, well, you know the rest.
As for the match itself, and the series so far, I suppose there has something of a grim inevitability about it. The pitches have received the normal attention and that of the second test was very poor and you could reasonably say that the match went with the toss. But that was not true of the first match where the pitch, which looked from the TV pictures to be dreadful, produced six hundreds nor, of course, the third. I didn’t think Cook could have declared much earlier, although he always comes in for criticism from the commentary box whose members would all have been more adventurous, at least, in their imaginations. Whenever I hear Hussain talking about the England captaincy I remember his efforts …and we all remember Beefy’s. (Isn’t it time, by the way, to refresh the Sky team; they have become a dreary repetitive lot).
x
The second Test went with toss although I think we would have to concede that India are better equipped to win in India. Indeed they looked a pretty decent side in this game. England weren't helped by the run out, the dropping of Kohli and the form of Duckett, who had no form. I haven’t seen Duckett live (Yorkshire, you know, don’t play in the lower divisions) but I assume that in Div 2 he sticks out that chest and slaps the medium pacers all round the park. Might it just be that the step up from county to Test cricket is two steps from the lower division…or is it just that India is a bloody tough place to start? By the third Test, something like panic had begun to set in.
The familiar problems: top order batting and spin bowling are still there. I don’t understand why England went back on the earlier intention to send out Anderson and Hales after the Bangladesh tour. Or went back on half of it anyway. Difficult to know how well Hales would have got on and Hameed may have made the place his own, although now, of course, there is the injury and Keaton Jennings is on his way. I saw an interview with Bayliss who said that Hales’ decision not to tour Bangladesh (along with Morgan of course) would not damage his chances of returning to open in India. It does, however, appear to have done so. Playing Buttler always looked like desperation and both his shots to get out were wretchedly ill-judged (mind you, he was not alone in that). Given the squad they had in India, the impossibility of playing Ballance or Duckett, perhaps there was little else to be done. Moreover, it is difficult to be confident that Hales, or any other English batter, would have succeeded. I wonder if Jennings will.
Taking the positives - as I fear we must now say - Rushid is beginning to look like a test match bowler, although he still bowls too many long-hops for my liking…even if one of them did get a wicket. Hameed defiantly looked the part and, given the extent of the injury, his knock in the second innings was a stunning effort. I also think Bairstow’s keeping has improved noticeably but apart from that….well.
Let’s hope for better in Mumbai. Last time I was there I saw KP play one of the great test match innings. I wonder if Melbourne Renegades would be willing…..
Reflections on India, so far
Long term readers of this august publication will recall my regular references to Tour Madness in the early years. I fear that we are beginning to experience a return of this phenomena on the current tour of India.
Let’s start with the strange case of our Zimbabwean, Gary Ballance. Why is he on this tour? After a pretty average season in England he was selected for this tour and indeed was selected for the first test. He was then dropped and has no chance of winning a place back since there are no other matches for him to prove his worth. I suspect that we will see him again when he will come in by default. No doubt he has looked good in the nets and that will clinch it.
At one time in the not so distant past England seemed to have a plethora of young batsmen in intense competition to break through into the national side. Where have they all gone?
They decided to throw Ben Duckett in at the deep end by making his test debut on the sub continent. It nevertheless surprised most that his technique was exposed so much and so early. Consequently two of the main line batsmen, Balance and Duckett are now virtually unselectable for the rest of the tour.
Alex Hales seemed to be making the transition from one day tonker to test blocker but then absented himself from the Bangla Desh tour. He may well ultimately be pleased to have missed out on the Indian test series but one wonders if he will be recalled for the one day matches now that Jennings has got the nod as replacement for Hameed. Jennings, of course, is another left hander and I suspect Ashwin would welcome his selection. Since Root is happy enough opening one wonders whether Jennings will actually play or is he there just to get the atmosphere? There may be plenty of that with Ballance prowling around the dressing room.
James Vince was given a full series in the summer but the lack of a substantial innings seems to have shot his bolt at least for the time being. James Taylor was forced into premature retirement and is turning out to be a bigger loss than many would have thought.
Jonny Bairstow is one of the leading test batsmen this year and his selection as a wicket keeping allrounder seems to be stopping him from commanding a place higher up the order. Perhaps if we would only play a proper keeper he could have the number four slot.
Moeen Ali seemed to have made the number eight position all his own and then once stepping onto Indian soil he suddenly became a number five and then in the third test number four in the first innings and number three in the second innings. Moeen is another of our left handers and packing the top of the order with them seems like cannon fodder to Ashwin and Yadav.
Sam Billings seems only to be considered as a one day merchant and like Hales he may benefit from not being subject to an Indian examination.
Its not at all clear why Buttler is on the test tour but he now finds himself playing as a batsman which must be somewhat galling to Ballance. There must be a good chance that Woakes will be picked as a batsman by the end of the tour if only to keep Ballance and Duckett out of the side. Tour madness indeed.
******
Spin bowling has completely changed again. Or at least the methods of batting against it has had to with the adoption of the referral system. There was a time not too long ago when if you pushed forward to the spinners you were safe whether it hit the bat, pad or both. Now the camera will track whether it was going on to hit the stumps or not. Consequently batsmen are now given out when their front leg is at full stretch down the wicket. The only good news for batsmen is that the camera will also establish whether the ball has pitched outside leg stump or whether the ball’s impact is outside the line of the stumps. But the net effect is that many batsmen are given out on referral now when in yesteryear the delivery would not have warranted an appeal.
*****
Jimmy Anderson is rightly lauded as a great bowler these days but spectators in India must be wondering what all the fuss is about. As far as they are concerned he is a medium pacer who doesn’t seam or swing the ball. Much the same might be said of his mate Broady.
Morgan Matters
The Great Jack Morgan comments
England have named the current squad in Bangladesh for the India tour, though Anderson could be added should he prove his fitness. England are going to employ some sort of rota for the current tour and the word is that Broad and Batty are to be "rested" (they must be knackered after one Test) and they are to be replaced by Finn or Ball and Ansari. I am happy to see Finn/ Ball/ Ansari get a game, but I think we should be putting out our strongest team to try and win the series first. M Vaughan thinks England will be whitewashed in India.
Andy Bull has a long article in today's G in which he queries why (among other things) Moeen, Batty, Rashid and Ansari were chosen ahead of the two best spinners in the country, Jack Leach and Ollie Rayner. Vic has, of course, mentioned Jack from time to time, but this is the first I have seen of Ollie's omission being queried. Vic's latest point was that Leach was omitted because he only takes wickets on real turners like those at Taunton this year, but that is what we have in Asia at present... real turners!
People are expecting to see Anderson selected for the next Test, but it is not clear who will be omitted. Vic thinks that they might not pick Anderson until the 3rd Test. When they do pick him, I think the likeliest is that Woakesy will be "rested" as Broad has already had his rest.
BBC website readers reckon the best England captains are/ were: 1 M Brearley, 2 M Vaughan, 3 A Strauss, 4 A Cook, 5 D Jardine. How many people could have sufficiently clear memories of Jardine to be able to compare him with eg Cook? My spellchecker cannot remember Jardine at all and wondered if I had meant “sardine”!
The Cricketer is now inviting us to vote on the best England skippers. They give us a full page write up on each of their top ten: Jardine, Chapman, Grace, Hutton, May, Illingworth, Hussain, Brearley, Vaughan and Strauss, then another page on Atherton, then another page on the top 3 women's captains (Heyhoe Flint, Connor and Edwards), then another page on the 13 "next best" men skippers: Bligh, Shrewsbury, Steel, Stoddart, Warner, Douglas, Dexter, Close, Greig, Gower, Gatting, Gooch and Stewart, then a four page article on Cook! Then there is a horrible blunder on page 60 where M Henderson's article from page 20 has been repeated and so denies us the first page of Rob Steen's rather good (and irreverent) 4-page piece on Gubby Allen! On page 104, the obituaries start with "John Gleeson: off-spinner's mystique impressed Bradman and Sobers"!
England are talking about Buttler, Woakes and Batty as I suggested, but they are also apparently considering playing four seamers and leaving Batty out. I have not seen the wicket, of course, but it would be a strange ploy in India. Rob Smyth, in the G, wants S Billings in the team (apparently he is a "spin-playing specialist")... shame he is not even in the country really.
There does not seem to be anything definite coming from the England camp but V Marks and A Martin seem convinced that Buttler will bat at four in the Test. I think Jos should get a chance, but I do not follow why it has to be at four. Bairstow, for example, appears to be batting way too low at no 7; his keeping has its weaknesses, but his batting has been terrific in recent times, so why keep him at seven where he ran out of partners in the last Test? He usually bats at five for Yorks, Stokes has also often batted at five for Durham and Moeen at three for Worcs: these England positions should not be set in stone. Both Vic and Ali also discuss the bowling and Batty does not get a mention by either of them: I do not get it.
Middlesex's first Championship game is away to Hampshire in mid-April; I doubt that will attract me at that time of year. Our first home Championship game is v Essex on 21/4 and the first one day cup game is home to Sussex on 27/4. As expected, Middlesex will not host one of the floodlit Championship matches.
Jos is confirmed in the England team for the Mohali Test, but Cook is hinting he will bat at 7. Woakes will surely replace Broad and Vic has reluctantly admitted that "the pitch looks sufficiently dry" for Batty to be picked, but this will not be decided until just before the toss.
Pathetic. Hameed did well but he is out of the next two Tests. England have moved up to 2nd in the Test rankings... funny old game isn't it?
Bowden Matters
Alex Bowden writes
The main thing we take from day one of the first Test between Australia and South Africa is that the five one-dayers they played in South Africa recently weren’t proper international matches and so they probably shouldn’t have bothered.
Australia’s bowling attack for those matches was a recurring theme in our weekly Cricket Badger newsletter (sign up here). Plenty of players were injured, but a few were rested too, meaning Australia got to showcase the full extent of their pace bowling weakness in depth.
Chris Tremain, Joe Mennie, Daniel Worrall and Scott Boland. The names are so unfamiliar, it feels a bit like you’ve somehow found yourself reading an article about 1980s baseball players. They all got panned and Australia got panned. And what did it prove?
Ten years after we first predicted it, squad rotation is now part and parcel of international cricket. But while a rested fast bowler here or there is one thing, there is a threshold beyond which matches cease to have any real meaning. At what point is a team international in name and attire only?
Management of resources is part of the game, but with different teams taking different approaches, you’re not always seeing like pitted against like.
Never mind the mismatches, if a weaker nation beats a deliberately compromised but otherwise stronger nation, does that even count for much? If the defeated team can easily explain away their defeat, that devalues the contest and denied even the opportunity to record an unarguable victory, the weaker nation’s fixtures are diminished.
Outside of World Cups, one-day matches have always been a little more transitory, but as this Australia v South Africa Test series wears on, it’ll be intriguing to look back on the one-day series that immediately preceded it and ask whether it really was genuine international cricket.
Big Scoring Matters
You will know by now that I consider that all big innings are noteworthy and so its hats off to Azhar Ali who made 302 not out in a recent test against the West Indies. No Englishman has reached a triple hundred since Gooch in the last century.
News from Harrogate
After returning from a well deserved vacation the Professor sent me this
Michael Atherton's son made his debut for Radlett seconds a few weeks' ago. Paddy Carlin was umpiring. No chance...LBW second ball.
King Cricket
Alex Bowden, the writer of the King Cricket blog, encourages his readers to report on first class matches without reference to the game itself.
Sam writes:
It rained on the drive from Cornwall to Somerset. We had left our 18-month old son at home, and brought along our 34-year-old friend instead. He turned out to be slightly lower maintenance.
The seating rules were not clear, so we plonked ourselves behind the bowler’s arm underneath the new pavilion.
Taunton has a lot of pavilions.
Before leaving the house, my wife had asked if I had washed the strawberries. I said yes. Mistake number one. As noon approached, she turned to me and said ‘Well done on washing the strawberries’. I told her I hadn’t actually washed them. Mistake number two. A mini argument ensued. I decided to sulk by not eating my lunch until 2pm.
Our friend suggested we “do a circuit”. My wife didn’t know what that meant. We explained the concept of doing a circuit. We left it until the break between innings. Mistake number three.
There were lots of pictures of Ian Botham and Sir Viv Richards on the walls. “How are we going to cope when Sir Viv Richards dies?” I asked. Nobody seemed to know.
We visited the shop to buy a mini cricket set for our son, then the bookshop to pick up a cricket-themed romance novel for £1.
I discovered a programme from the 1992 England v Pakistan Test at Edgbaston. I once owned that programme, aged seven. Leafing through, it brought back some overwhelming emotions. If I had a therapist, I would have been straight on the phone to him.
I had brought along some Waitrose Country Slices, to much ridicule. “They look vile,” my friend said. All the more for me, I thought gleefully. I ate all six.
In the afternoon we started feeling sleepy and went in search of refreshment. I ordered a latte and discovered a tea bag hidden inside. “That can’t be right”, I said. Nobody seemed to know.
Marcus Trescothick was wandering around the perimeter. “Must be nice to walk around like you own the place,” my wife said.
Back in Cornwall, we went for a curry. We skipped starters and poppadoms. I had prawn saag and lemon rice. My wife offered to drive the rest of the way home so I could have another pint.
We finished the day scrolling through YouTube trying to find footage of that time Gareth Batty and Peter Trego had a fight. We couldn’t find it. We ended up watching a video of Jade Dernbach showing off the contents of his kitbag.
Ged Matters
Ged writes:
This was to be my last sighting of live cricket this season; even though it was a day one at Lord’s, I knew I was to be busy working or otherwise not around for the rest of the match.
As tradition now has it, Charley “the Gent” Malloy joins me for a day during that last County Championship match of the season.
I was starting to run out of new ideas for picnic food for this season, but Daisy had started a new weekend fad of buying amazing smoked fishes from the Polish deli in Ealing.
The weekend before this match, in a fit of over-enthusiasm, Daisy had bought, amongst other smoked delicacies, a whole smoked eel. Smoked eel is one of my favourites as well as one of hers, but a whole smoked eel is a big fella. I suggested that Daisy might donate some of the smoked eel to the Ged and Chas Picnic Benevolent Society. She agreed wholeheartedly.
The night before, I mused about the picnic and decided to safeguard proceedings by procuring some nice juicy prawns as well, so that if Chas really didn’t go for eel, I could eat two eel rolls and Chas could eat two prawn ones.
An early trip to the bakers (Championship matches start at 10.30am in September, remember) secured a couple of particularly interesting breakfast muffins and two big bagels.
Of course Chas was at the ground in good time. Of course we nabbed a couple of prime seats on death row before the start of play. Naturally I outlined the proposed picnic. Chas exclaimed that he didn’t think he’d ever tried smoked eel before but that he’d enjoy giving it a try.
So, we enjoyed our prawn muffin jobbies late morning while still on death row, then the smoked eel bagels a bit later in the day.
Chas showed little emotion in the matter of the eel bagels at the time. I think he might have mentioned that his all-time favourite remains the wild Alaskan salmon, but that hardly needs saying. He did say that he liked it, so I thought that was a pretty successful variation on our picnic theme.
The next day, however, I got a kindly thank you email from Chas (as usual) that also included the following short paragraph:
“I think I have yet another phobia – you guessed it, smoked eel! What is completely ludicrous is I actually liked it but can’t mentally cope with eating it, I’m a little troubled with all of that!”
I responded with the following wise words and links on the matter:
“Eels are simply elongated fish; nothing weird about them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eel
…unless you jelly them rather than smoke them, the former being kinda Essex weird…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jellied_eels”
No doubt Charley and I will discuss the matter of eels some more when next we meet, which at the time of writing up this match report (April 2016) will be very soon indeed – like, next week. But I’ve taken the hint, so it won’t be “eel meat again” for the start of the 2016 season.
Googlies Website
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