GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 129
September 2013
Out and About with the Professor
I have only been to the Chester-Le-Street ground twice, the visits separated by eight years, and there seem to have been some developments. It may be the effect of the temporary stands but the ground appeared much more like an enclosure rather than the slightly barren arena I recall set in an otherwise rather featureless tract of land. It could still do with some additional features and doubtless they will be added over time – the area to the right of the “Bannantyne’s Health Club and Spa”, for example, (I did not venture too close) is just an open space where at present the TV trucks all park. I suppose they have to have somewhere to go but would be better out of sight (as indeed would the Bannantyne’s Health Club and Spa). Still, these are quibbles. New grounds inevitably take some time to develop character and atmosphere and no doubt the Riverside will overcome its still slightly bleak feel.
The only thing that hasn’t changed in my two trips is the result of the game…England won them both.
However the opposition was a little different – in June 2005 it was Bangladesh and this year it was the Aussies. My principal memory of the first match is of Trescothick’s batting. He scored an organised and well-constructed 50 but then seemed to decide that the Bangladesh team shouldn’t really be bowling at the likes of him and so he slogged them. Not just the odd swish or two; from about 70 not out he just stuck that huge padded right leg down the track and flogged the bowling to all parts. It was hard to resist the conclusion that he was taking the piss. He ended up with 150-odd which, had he been bothered, could have been doubled. Someone who could indeed be bothered was at the other end and Bell put together a similar score which looked, of course, a whole lot better…(another similarity).
And so to Monday 12th August. I was there, and I watched every ball, but I still can’t quite believe what I saw. One of the great things about sport is the uncertainty. It is not like going to see a play. We all predict - but none of us, of course, knows the outcome. I remember Richie Benaud’s reply to someone who asked him what was going to happen in the match: “I don’t know…that’s why I’ve bought a ticket”. (A good retort even if the likelihood of him ever having to go through the turnstiles is a bit far-fetched.)
All Googlies readers are, of course, expert cricket pundits…but did anyone, could anyone, have predicted what happened? The Trent Bridge test had enough turns and twists but this one had about a dozen all in one day.
To recap, if anyone has forgotten, we were 202 ahead overnight with 5 wickets down. If Bell and Bresnan batted well we could get to 300. And they were. 210, 215…but then Bell gets a shooter, Prior a Golden, so perhaps we might get to 250 ahead? But then Bresnan started belting the ball to all parts and Swann took to playing Harris from short square leg (he just managed to reach one that would have taken the off stump out of the ground) so… 300 was still on. But then Swann stuck the ball down Long-On’s throat, so perhaps 280-odd. But no! Smith shells it (much derision). A couple more swipes and we end up 298 ahead.
And that is just our innings!
A frantic 98 runs scored and 5 wickets, all in 20 overs - and still some time to go before lunch.
There are some eternal verities in cricket, one of course being that no one chases down 300 in the final innings to win a Test match. Like all eternal verities it is not quite true…but it is a comfort while you are sheltering from the tropical downpour that fell over lunchtime. By teatime this comfort was not very comforting. Australia were 168-2, Anderson was bowling throw-downs and Swann’s famous variations were either long-hops or full-bungers. Moreover the two men at the crease were Warner, who had belted the ball all around the ground and Clarke, who was, well…Clarke. They should knock off the remaining 130 well before the close. Boycott, on the radio, was saying that he tries to tell England what to do but nobody listens (all together now…”I wonder why”?). Still 2-1 up going to the Oval isn’t bad – we could easily win there or at least get a draw…and we have retained the Ashes…these things happen…
But then Bresnan gets one to bounce and the stage is cleared for the type of occasion that I think only Test match cricket can provide. Broad had not been hit on the head when batting (a la Malcolm D.), although he was hit on the glove. Perhaps it was that, or the tea-time talk, or the switch of ends to the “Harris end” – whatever it was, the effect was stunning. I don’t quite know how you play a 6’7’’ bowler bowling at 91mph from about 18 yards away, but in truth it didn’t look too easy. After the Clarke ball, Broad became a force of nature and could simply not be denied. Indeed it was only Nature, in the form of a small black cloud, that had any chance of stopping him at all. Once the cloud blotted out the sun it got very dark indeed (not quite Karachi in 2000 but pretty gloomy…and it was 7.30pm). Not often are you with 15,000 people all willing a cloud to make its leisurely progress across the sky a little less leisurely. In the end it cleared, out came the sun…and we all know the rest.
What a match! What a day! 320 runs, 15 wickets and the Ashes won. Stunning. All in all, a great day to be watching cricket down by the Riverside.
…of course…I was always quietly confident.
And later I received this
Only cricket could do this - no one running the game gives a toss about the spectators. What other form of public entertainment would shut down before the final act? Does the ICC only recruit idiots or do they see their role as destroying test cricket? What other conclusion can there be?
Exactly who was in danger yesterday evening? Batsmen? No, they are protected and wanted to stay on. Close fielders? No, there weren't any and if there had been they would have also had protective gear on. Deep fielders? Obviously not. Spectators? No more danger than normal from the ball going into the crowd...and anyway no one cares about them.
So who? That just leaves the umpires. So the umpires abandoned the match because they were scared they might get hit? I don't think so.
So...who was in danger?
Answer, no one - although the people who thought up this regulation should be in danger...of being shot.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan keeps us informed
I went to Sunbury for the big 40 over clash between Surrey and Middlesex. Middlesex 194: O Wilkin 60 (off 66 balls with 6 fours), J Davey 45 (off 53 balls with 6 fours and a six), A London 34 (off 31 balls with 3 fours and 2 sixes); G Edwards 3-48; Surrey 154 : T Curran 33, F Davies 31, N Pinner 27, A Harinath 24; A London 3-23, T Helm 2-24 and R Patel 2-43. Middlesex won by 40 runs. Josh and Adam were very impressive in a stand of 83 in 14 overs for the second wicket before both were run out. A third run out did not help as Ollie steered the tail almost single handedly towards a respectable, but hardly daunting total. Neil Pinner (presumably released by Worcestershire) and Tom Curran (son of Kevin and brother of Sam, who also played in the match and both Curran brothers were run out) put on 56 for the first wicket, but despite the efforts of Arun Harinath and Fred Davies (both batting too low), Surrey never looked like winning after the first wicket fell. The Middlesex bowlers were handled imaginatively by Adam, but I think Surrey would have lost whoever he put on to bowl. Ollie is apparently unfit to bowl and Harry Podmore is a difficult character to assess: last time I saw him he did not bat or bowl, this time he managed 2* at no 11, but did not bowl or even take the field for the Surrey innings.
That match was just a friendly, but the lads are top of the Trophy (40 over) table and second in the Championship table, so they have a chance of making both finals. Meanwhile, Ryan Higgins was making 65 off 46 balls with 12 fours and a six for England U-19s as they were thrashed by Pakistan by 180 runs. He had done less well the previous day, making 0 as England beat Bangladesh by 5 wkts. Higgins did better in the next game against the Bangles, making 112* out of 199-1 and took the Man of the Match as England won by 9 wkts, but his 54 v Pakistan was in vain as England lost by 4 runs. R Higgins made 70* out of 151 a/o in the U19 Tri-Nations Final as England were thrashed by Pakistan again, this time by 192! I expect a Pakistan won the Teenager of the Series award, but Ryan cannot have been far behind.
For the Championship match against Durham at Lord's, the only change to the team that finished the last game against Sussex was that Eoin Morgan replaced Dawid Malan. Neil Dexter won the toss for Middlesex and unsurprisingly asked Durham to bat first on another green pitch which would offer extravagant movement to the seamers. Durham soon fell to 13 for 3, but ex-captain Will Smith and England ODI all rounder Ben Stokes led a fight back which was continued by skipper Paul Collingwood, who top scored with 30. The conditions were difficult for the batsmen, but the visitors will still have been disappointed to be all out for 143. Steve Finn returned the best figures for Middesex (4 for 46) and he was well supported by Gareth Berg (2 for 13), Corey Collymore (2 for 30) and Tim Murtagh (2 for 38). John Simpson claimed 5 victims behind the stumps. Middlesex's start (15 for 3) was as bad as Durham's, but Morgan and Simpson both helped captain Dexter add useful runs. The best batting of the innings, however, came when Berg joined Dexter and the pair added a valuable 48 for the sixth wicket before both fell to Graham Onions, Dexter for a determined 48 from 111 balls with 7 fours and Berg for an attractive 35 from 59 balls with 5 fours.
A collapse on the second morning saw the home side slump to a very disappointing 168 all out, a lead of a mere 25. Like Luke Wright, "Bunny" Onions always does well in my presence and he excelled himself again on this occasion, finishing with 7 for 62. England ODI man Phil Mustard held 4 catches behind the wicket. The Durham second innings started badly again (10 for 2), but another England ODI all rounder Scott Borthwick helped to stabilise things before Smith and Stokes combined to add 65 (the joint highest stand of the match) for the fourth wicket as the track eased in hot sunshine and strong breezes after lunch on day 2. Smith departed for 30 with 5 fours, but Stokes went on to make the top score of the match with 51 from 98 balls with 8 fours. Mustard, another ex-captain, played entertainingly for 30* with 5 fours and Callum Thorp, from Perth WA, helped him to add 39 for the eighth wicket, but the total of 171 all out set Middlesex only 147 to win. Middlesex waited until their 95th over of the match before they tried spin for the first time and Ollie Rayner enjoyed immediate success with 2 wickets in his first over and 3 for 25 altogether. Murtagh (3 for 32) and Finn (3 for 56) were the best of the pace bowlers.
Joe Denly (32 from 33 balls) looked in good form in the Middlesex second innings, but it was the third wicket stand of 65 between Adam Voges (36 with 5 fours) and Morgan (39* with 5 fours) which convinced us that Middlesex were on their way to a comfortable victory. Dexter made another useful contribution to a stand of 40 with Morgan, but when he fell with the scores level, Simpson was able to score the run which clinched the win by 6 wickets and it was all over just after noon on day three. England rejects Bunny (9 for 102 in the match) and Finny (7 for 102 in the match) both enjoyed the helpful conditions, though I did not think either was quite at his best, possibly because the ball was just doing so much after hitting the track that it was terribly hard to know exactly where to pitch it.
Middlesex opener Sam Robson started the match needing 14 runs to become the first batsman to reach 1,000 runs in the Championship this season, but he managed only half of the required number (falling twice to the burly Sunderland seamer Chris Rushworth, his only two wickets of the match) and this allowed Worcestershire's Moeen Ali to beat him to the target. Sam's opening partner in the first half of the season, Chris Rogers, reached his 1,000 runs for the season in the third Test at Old Trafford. Middlesex 19 points, Durham 3 and this allowed Middlesex to overtake Durham and move into third place in division one of the Championship with a game in hand on second placed Sussex, who contrived to give bottom club Derbyshire their first win of the season at Hove.
Paddy Carlin was also there
A day of falling wickets most of them to slip or wicket keeper catches as the humid early morning conditions and lively pitch caused havoc. Simpson snaffled five and Robson and Rayner held god ones but there were rash shots from the Durham batsmen. I saw one of the worst batsmen in the county game in the massive bouncer like personage of Rushworth who looks also a very useful foil to Onions as a bowler. I was amazed to find that he averaged nearly 24 last year which was down to many not outs but his lack of skill puts him in the Colleymore/Dernbach category.
Sofa Cricket
Surrey v Somerset Quarter Final T20 at Kennington Oval 6 August
Craig Kieswetter batted through the Somerset innings but only faced 51 balls in reaching 70 not out. Somerset’s 148 didn’t seem enough and that proved to be the case. Roy and Davies added 62 from 7 overs and although Surrey lost wickets and had to face the threat of Thomas and Arafat at the death they got home comfortably enough with an over to spare. This match was a feisty affair with Gareth batty getting into it with various members of the opposition.
Northamptonshire v Durham Quarter Final T20 at Northampton, 6 August
At some point everyone started to take Northamptonshire seriously and those who hadn’t so far would have been converted by this showing. Their top order all contributed and at respectable strike rates. Cameron White then saw them through to 183 with 58 not out including four sixes. I thought that Middlesex may have been premature in releasing Stephen Crook at the end of last season and it was he who struck first, bowling Stoneman. James Middlebrook, who bowls his off spinners like an older brother of James Tredwell, then got Borthwick and Mustard. Any recovery by Durham was frustrated by Lee Daggett who conceded just 13 from his four overs. Ben Stokes struck some mighty blows but the rate got beyond him as Northants ran out comfortable winners by 36 runs. An interesting member of this Northants side is Azharullah, the Pakistani seamer who is quicker than he looks and is seemingly difficult to get away. He also is one of those rare and delightful players in the modern game who doesn’t do fielding. He fails to stop the ball even if it goes straight to him and catching is speculative at best. Needless to say the ball follows him round.
Hampshire v Lancashire Quarter Final T20 at The Ageas Bowl, 7 August
The first half of the Hampshire innings featured James Vince who scored 60 out of 110 from just 30 balls faced. The second half showcased Michael Carberry who completed his hundred from the final ball. The Hampshire total of 202 seemed formidable. Nobody reached fifty for Lancashire but they kept going and aided by a wide and a no ball by Tanvir in the last over they ultimately fell just 1 run short.
Nottinghamshire v Essex Quarter Final T20 at Trent Bridge, 8 August
Essex struggled to get this far and were put in by Notts. At 46 for 3 they seemed in trouble but Bopara and ten Doeschate added 72 before Bopara was dismissed. Much then depended on the African Dutchman who made 82 with five sixes and Essex finished on a more than respectable 187. Hales and Lumb came out swinging and Hales reached 31 from 12 balls when he was first out at 46 to david masters who went on to get Lumb and Taylor. Shaun Tait was bowling very fast and got Samit Patel whose current shape suggests he has given up all England ambitions. David Hussey earned no Brownie points with George Sharp as he constantly complained about full tosses which he thought should have been called no balls but he also swung heartily and reached 61 before holing out to Tait. Notts were dismissed for a disappointing 140 with Tait taking 4 for 29 and Masters 3 for 26.
Somerset v Gloucestershire YB40 at Taunton, 11 August
Michael Klinger, the Gloucestershire captain, made half his side’s runs as he carried his bat in a total of 263. This might have seemed enough on many grounds but not at Taunton when one of their big hitters gets going. On this occasion it was Craig Kieswetter (remember him?) who made 126 not out from 97 balls including six sixes as Somerset won with seven overs to spare. Buttler didn’t even make it to the crease.
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Surrey v Derbyshire YB40 at Kennington Oval, 11 August
This may have been the perfect YB40 match. Derbyshire batted first and made 294 for 9 with Hughes and Borrington making significant contributions. Surrey completed their chase off the last ball as Linley hit the requisite boundary from the only ball he faced.
Derbyshire v Durham YB40 at Derby, 15 August
This wicket looked odd and Durham decided to bowl first. They seemed pleased with themselves as Mark Wood achieved movement and early wickets. Wayne Madsen and Richard Johnson then added 103 in the only significant partnership of the match. Gareth Breese had had a bowl without seeming dangerous. However, when Ryan “Rhino” Pringle came on he turned the ball square and the lower order struggled to lay a bat on him. At this point a queue of part time Durham spinners queued up to join in the fun and in all eight bowlers got to turn their arms over. Suddenly the Derbyshire score of 217 looked somewhat demanding. Wayne Madsen cleaned out the top order before the spinners got to have a bowl but once Tom Knight and David Wainwright got to work 60 for 2 became 110 all out. The ball was turning square and spitting as the surface broke up. Durham may have looked glum at the end but not as miserable as the England Under 19s who were due to play on the same wicket the next day.
Warwickshire v Worcestershire YB40 at Edgbaston, 19 August
Daryl Mitchell won the toss and goy his side off to a flier with 60 from 49 balls against a depleted Warwickshire attack spearheaded by Milnes and Piolet. But it was his opening partner, Moeen Ali, who cashed in and went on to make 114 from 85 balls. The Worcestershire innings collapsed in the slog at the end and their final score of 291 looked less than at one time seemed likely. It was more than enough for Warwickshire who collapsed to 19 for 3 as Graeme Cessford (yes him) wreaked havoc. Nobody reached fifty and Worcestershire won by a mammoth 140 runs.
Lancashire v Hampshire YB40 at Old Trafford, 20 August
This was a critical match for the semi final qualification and Lancashire reached 261 on a good wicket with Moore, Brown and Croft reaching fifties but failing to go on. Hampshire’s sixteen year old off spinner, Taylor, took a wicket in his first over and performed creditably on his debut but it was Mascarenhas, who is playing his farewell games, who chipped in with 5 for 42 without seeming to do anything special with the ball as he has done on so many occasions over the years. Hampshire were without Carberry and Vince who were on Lions duty but their middle order almost got them home but no one stayed there and they ultimately fell 5 runs short.
England Lions v Bangladesh A ODI 20 August at Bristol
This was the match that Carberry and Vince were playing in and they both missed the boat, as Taylor after the Lions had been put in. But Gary Balance who is scoring hundreds for fun in August made another as did Luke Wright. The latter is usually only picked for t20 duties with England but revelled in his chance at the fifty over format and made 143 from 68 deliveries, including ten sixes. The Lions racked up 353 and Bangladesh stood no chance and were bowled out for 151 to lose by 202 runs.
Bruton Matters
Allen Bruton sent me this
Unlike the majority of your C&G readership I spent the Glorious Twelfth not on the grouse moors but at the far more mundane Wolverhampton Racecourse. On departure TMS advised that Australia were 168-2 and moving inexorably towards their victory target. By the time the stands of Walsall Football Ground came into view Warner, Clarke, Smith, Haddin and Harris were all back in the hutch and it was effectively game over. To use the words of the advert, “If only Carlsberg did traffic jams” they would be hard pressed to stage a more enjoyable one than this.
Cheltenham Festival Matters
Paddy Carlin made his annual pilgrimage
This was quite the hottest day on which I have attended a cricket match in the UK. Nearly 400 runs had been chased down the previous day against the Gloucestershire attack and so what a toss for Worcestershire to win - a fast outfield to go with the extreme heat. A dozy few opening overs as the Worcestershire middle order strolled around the boundary talking to spectators and signing the odd autograph in their casual wear. Then suddenly cricket Armageddon as 15 for 0 became 22 for 6 in the space of five overs. Players rushing back to get changed as four wickets, including a hat trick to the burly South African, Fuller, went down in six balls.
I’ve always believed that the great cricketer in the sky doesn’t like players not being ready to go in and so it is highly amusing to see the chaos around the Worcestershire dressing room. In the event two unsung cricketers Leach, who went on to score a ton in the second innings, and Andrew put on a stand to get Worcestershire to 180 odd. This was nothing like enough as Klinger and Dent added 80 in a dozen overs.
As I took my seat on the boundary’s edge in a GJM sort of position I was asked if Hammond was playing today. Indeed he was. Not the great Walter but a diminutive spinner named Miles. Any relation? I also saw the worst fielder in county cricket, the Gloucestershire seamer Craig Miles who not only could not get his tall frae down to field the ball but also could not regularly catch it when it was lobbed to him by the cover fielder. And yes he did spill a simple catch in the deep.
Peter Lapping was also there
There was an excellent Bertie Wooster Brunch to which the PG Wodehouse Society came in force. There were some very good speeches (one by a seasoned Aussie journalist whose name escapes me) and all because PGW spotted a Percy Jeeves playing for Warwickshire at Cheltenham in 1913 and decided to use his name. The author of "The Real Jeeves" was there - apparently he, Jeeves, was rejected by his native Yorkshire, adopted by Warwickshire and became a formidable all rounder. He starred for The Players in 1914 and was being tipped as a future England player but, sadly, did not survive The Somme. Gloucestershire seem to specialise in celebrating quirky anniversaries.
Food and Hunger Matters
Paddy Carlin updates us
Umpiring in the Hertfordshire League this season I have rarely had a traditional tea comprising a few sandwiches some cakes and a cuppa. I have had several pasta meals including Bolognese and veggie, lots of pizza, garlic bread, samosas, bangers and mash, jacket potatoes with cheese and beans and even pork casserole. Totteridge/Millhillians even have a chef in attendance. No wonder John Emburey plays for them and Steve Selwood decamped there from Finchley. I half expect to see Jolly Jack Simmons there next year.
Umpiring at Luton Town on Saturday I noticed that the home side were getting more nad more excited and hyper as the game progressed and this was explained to me as the Ramadan effect. They were apparently dying of thirst and ravishingly hungry.
You can still do it Matters
King Cricket recently published the following plaintive missive from Bert
Finally I gave in. There is only so much a man can take. First the bait. You used to play a bit, didn’t you Bert? You must have been a decent cricketer in your time, I’ll bet. Then the hook. There’s no real commitment, and you look like the sort of man who has the occasional Wednesday evening free. And finally the reeling in. We’re short this coming Wednesday, can you help? You can, that’s marvellous! Nets on Tuesday six o’clock prompt, don’t be late. You’re down to play the first ten matches, so you’d better get some practice in.
So I’m in, after a gruelling selection process (Can you drive to the away matches?). Old Filchonians O40s midweek 20/20 evening cricket. Now I have no experience of vets’ cricket, but vets’ rugby I do know. That’s a game for ex-players who’ve lost their speed, lost their stamina, lost their sharpness, but who still retain their love of drunkenness and starting fights. I’m assuming that O40s cricket is in much the same vein.
A trip to the loft was the first thing, to see which of my cricket equipment has survived the Stalinist Purges of Things from My Past. Gloves – check. Pads – check. Yellows – check, so clearly a trip to the outfitters needed. Box – check, but its time as a home for the family hamster has taken its toll on the padding, so a new one needed. Collection of old porn mags hidden in the base of the cricket bag where she definitely won’t look – GONE! I guess they must have fallen out at some match once.
Bat – check. Ah, the old DF Attack. A present many years ago from the wife, girlfriend as was back then. 2lb 6oz of finely crafted craftsmanship (owing to a slight misunderstanding when buying it, she’d asked the man for a 26lb bat). Having watched Gower play, I’ve always preferred a lighter bat – much easier to tuck insouciantly under the arm when walking off for 7. But still, a magnificent item, in pristine condition. The middle, I noticed, was particularly well-kept – none of those ugly red stains you see on some bats. The grip disintegrated while I was taking guard in front of the mirror. I mentioned this at the club. I say mentioned, but the Club President, who keeps all the kit for that sort of thing, was on the other side of the ground. A tip for you all – when trying to communicate to the Club President that you need a new grip putting on your bat handle, sign language is NOT an acceptable method.
And so, here we are, all ready to go. First match tomorrow, away at Posh North Cheshire Poncey Overpaid Footballers Bentleys Everywhere La-di-dah Edge CC. Now this might give some people here a bit of a reminder, for this isn’t the first article to appear on this website concerning North Cheshire O40s cricket. No, it turns out that among the many luminaries of the cricket world who have previously been asked to play in this league is one King Cricket’s Dad. And Neil Fairbrother and Wasim Akram as well. I once played rugby against a team containing a recently retired Kurt Sorensen, and decided early on that the only difference in outcome between trying to tackle him and just letting him score was the level of pain in my face. A guard three feet outside leg stump is my similar, carefully thought-out plan to facing Wasim, should it happen.
So there it is. I could be skipping out to bat (I always do this to unsettle the bowlers) while unknowingly under the watchful match-report-writing sloe-berry-seeking eye of King Cricket’s Mum, maybe even King Cricket himself, maybe (if he succumbed to the pressure to play) to face King Cricket’s Dad’s devastatingly gentle non-spinning off-breaks, known by all to be the most successful wicket-taking delivery in all of club cricket (any ball from Wasim Akram excepted). Who knows? However, so as to keep a low profile and maintain my anonymity, I’ve decided to play all the matches wearing a Darth Vader novelty helmet. That should work.
A full match report will follow…
Red Mist Monday
There was something in the air on Bank Holiday Monday which led to Red Mist bursting out throughout the YB40 competition. The assault was led by David Willey who has forced his way to the front of the queue to be taken seriously as a potential international all rounder. He has, up till now, been a useful left arm opening bowler but he jumps at the chance to open the batting in the limited forms of the game. On this occasion he clubbed 167 from 101 balls with 10 sixes.
Durham were 112 for 5 when Gordon Muchall joined Will Smith for Durham in their match against Surrey. These two added 163 in the second half of the innings. Will Smith has not been hitherto be renowned for his hitting but he scored 120 not out from just 79 balls. If there is big hitting around Luke Wright will not normally want to miss out.
Worcester set Sussex 244 to win which they achieved with twelve overs to spare thanks largely to Wright’s 112 from 69 balls.
Amongst this mayhem two of the usual contributors appear as pedestrian also rans. Ravi Bopara made 130 from 102 balls and Eion Morgan chipped in with 90 from 63 balls. The Red Mist apparently drifted down to the Ageas Bowl on Thursday.
Ethical Matters
Douglas Miller sent me this
I find it mildly absurd that anyone should be critical of Broad for not walking. Who was he deceiving? Almost nobody except Aleem Dar. On the other hand the really sneaky one was Haddin at the death. He knew he had hit the ball – he admitted as much afterwards – but it was such a thin edge that this was where the poor umpire really needed ‘help’. If one buys into the convention of walking, and it is no part of Test cricket nor (it seems) of the Spirit of Cricket, then Haddin was more guilty than Broad. Now had Haddin chosen to walk, what might it fetch on the black market to be a fly on the wall of the Aussie dressing room? And what would the last of the walkers, Adam Gilchrist, have done in Haddin’s shoes? But why is he more of a disgrace than Haddin? Both knew they were out, both were given not out. We all knew Broad was out. We didn’t all know Haddin was out. I am looking for intellectual rigour in the answer. Perhaps the Professor can provide it.
And the Professor duly did
This is an interesting little debate. If you hit the ball down mid-on's throat, you walk off. Why? Because there is no way you could be given not out. If you snick it (even very hard), you stay put because there is a chance (quite a good chance it seems) that you might be given not out. In other words, there is no moral dimension to this question at all, as far as modern cricketers are concerned. All the stuff that we were brought up with and all the "spirit of the game" mantra count for nothing in this regard. It is purely an operational issue. To put it another way, to say that you are "out" if you hit it and it is caught is wrong...you are only out if the umpire thinks you are and your job is to score runs not to help the umpire. The ethical question arises, even for the modern professional cricketer, in things like claiming a catch. If it is OK not to walk when you've hit it, is it OK to appeal when you haven't caught it?
I suppose they might take refuge in a sort of "sins of omission/commission" distinction. The batsman in the first instance is not, as it were, lying to the umpire - he is merely doing nothing. The fielder, in the second case, is initiating (and that is the important word) an attempt to deceive. I think, even in these cynical days, that greater opprobrium attaches to the fielder who claims a catch when it has clearly bounced than to the batsman who doesn't walk (perhaps, not least because none of them do any more). I suppose we could work our way through hundreds of other cases of "moral hazard" on the cricket pitch using this distinction...but I'm not sure where it would take us.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 129
September 2013
Out and About with the Professor
I have only been to the Chester-Le-Street ground twice, the visits separated by eight years, and there seem to have been some developments. It may be the effect of the temporary stands but the ground appeared much more like an enclosure rather than the slightly barren arena I recall set in an otherwise rather featureless tract of land. It could still do with some additional features and doubtless they will be added over time – the area to the right of the “Bannantyne’s Health Club and Spa”, for example, (I did not venture too close) is just an open space where at present the TV trucks all park. I suppose they have to have somewhere to go but would be better out of sight (as indeed would the Bannantyne’s Health Club and Spa). Still, these are quibbles. New grounds inevitably take some time to develop character and atmosphere and no doubt the Riverside will overcome its still slightly bleak feel.
The only thing that hasn’t changed in my two trips is the result of the game…England won them both.
However the opposition was a little different – in June 2005 it was Bangladesh and this year it was the Aussies. My principal memory of the first match is of Trescothick’s batting. He scored an organised and well-constructed 50 but then seemed to decide that the Bangladesh team shouldn’t really be bowling at the likes of him and so he slogged them. Not just the odd swish or two; from about 70 not out he just stuck that huge padded right leg down the track and flogged the bowling to all parts. It was hard to resist the conclusion that he was taking the piss. He ended up with 150-odd which, had he been bothered, could have been doubled. Someone who could indeed be bothered was at the other end and Bell put together a similar score which looked, of course, a whole lot better…(another similarity).
And so to Monday 12th August. I was there, and I watched every ball, but I still can’t quite believe what I saw. One of the great things about sport is the uncertainty. It is not like going to see a play. We all predict - but none of us, of course, knows the outcome. I remember Richie Benaud’s reply to someone who asked him what was going to happen in the match: “I don’t know…that’s why I’ve bought a ticket”. (A good retort even if the likelihood of him ever having to go through the turnstiles is a bit far-fetched.)
All Googlies readers are, of course, expert cricket pundits…but did anyone, could anyone, have predicted what happened? The Trent Bridge test had enough turns and twists but this one had about a dozen all in one day.
To recap, if anyone has forgotten, we were 202 ahead overnight with 5 wickets down. If Bell and Bresnan batted well we could get to 300. And they were. 210, 215…but then Bell gets a shooter, Prior a Golden, so perhaps we might get to 250 ahead? But then Bresnan started belting the ball to all parts and Swann took to playing Harris from short square leg (he just managed to reach one that would have taken the off stump out of the ground) so… 300 was still on. But then Swann stuck the ball down Long-On’s throat, so perhaps 280-odd. But no! Smith shells it (much derision). A couple more swipes and we end up 298 ahead.
And that is just our innings!
A frantic 98 runs scored and 5 wickets, all in 20 overs - and still some time to go before lunch.
There are some eternal verities in cricket, one of course being that no one chases down 300 in the final innings to win a Test match. Like all eternal verities it is not quite true…but it is a comfort while you are sheltering from the tropical downpour that fell over lunchtime. By teatime this comfort was not very comforting. Australia were 168-2, Anderson was bowling throw-downs and Swann’s famous variations were either long-hops or full-bungers. Moreover the two men at the crease were Warner, who had belted the ball all around the ground and Clarke, who was, well…Clarke. They should knock off the remaining 130 well before the close. Boycott, on the radio, was saying that he tries to tell England what to do but nobody listens (all together now…”I wonder why”?). Still 2-1 up going to the Oval isn’t bad – we could easily win there or at least get a draw…and we have retained the Ashes…these things happen…
But then Bresnan gets one to bounce and the stage is cleared for the type of occasion that I think only Test match cricket can provide. Broad had not been hit on the head when batting (a la Malcolm D.), although he was hit on the glove. Perhaps it was that, or the tea-time talk, or the switch of ends to the “Harris end” – whatever it was, the effect was stunning. I don’t quite know how you play a 6’7’’ bowler bowling at 91mph from about 18 yards away, but in truth it didn’t look too easy. After the Clarke ball, Broad became a force of nature and could simply not be denied. Indeed it was only Nature, in the form of a small black cloud, that had any chance of stopping him at all. Once the cloud blotted out the sun it got very dark indeed (not quite Karachi in 2000 but pretty gloomy…and it was 7.30pm). Not often are you with 15,000 people all willing a cloud to make its leisurely progress across the sky a little less leisurely. In the end it cleared, out came the sun…and we all know the rest.
What a match! What a day! 320 runs, 15 wickets and the Ashes won. Stunning. All in all, a great day to be watching cricket down by the Riverside.
…of course…I was always quietly confident.
And later I received this
Only cricket could do this - no one running the game gives a toss about the spectators. What other form of public entertainment would shut down before the final act? Does the ICC only recruit idiots or do they see their role as destroying test cricket? What other conclusion can there be?
Exactly who was in danger yesterday evening? Batsmen? No, they are protected and wanted to stay on. Close fielders? No, there weren't any and if there had been they would have also had protective gear on. Deep fielders? Obviously not. Spectators? No more danger than normal from the ball going into the crowd...and anyway no one cares about them.
So who? That just leaves the umpires. So the umpires abandoned the match because they were scared they might get hit? I don't think so.
So...who was in danger?
Answer, no one - although the people who thought up this regulation should be in danger...of being shot.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan keeps us informed
I went to Sunbury for the big 40 over clash between Surrey and Middlesex. Middlesex 194: O Wilkin 60 (off 66 balls with 6 fours), J Davey 45 (off 53 balls with 6 fours and a six), A London 34 (off 31 balls with 3 fours and 2 sixes); G Edwards 3-48; Surrey 154 : T Curran 33, F Davies 31, N Pinner 27, A Harinath 24; A London 3-23, T Helm 2-24 and R Patel 2-43. Middlesex won by 40 runs. Josh and Adam were very impressive in a stand of 83 in 14 overs for the second wicket before both were run out. A third run out did not help as Ollie steered the tail almost single handedly towards a respectable, but hardly daunting total. Neil Pinner (presumably released by Worcestershire) and Tom Curran (son of Kevin and brother of Sam, who also played in the match and both Curran brothers were run out) put on 56 for the first wicket, but despite the efforts of Arun Harinath and Fred Davies (both batting too low), Surrey never looked like winning after the first wicket fell. The Middlesex bowlers were handled imaginatively by Adam, but I think Surrey would have lost whoever he put on to bowl. Ollie is apparently unfit to bowl and Harry Podmore is a difficult character to assess: last time I saw him he did not bat or bowl, this time he managed 2* at no 11, but did not bowl or even take the field for the Surrey innings.
That match was just a friendly, but the lads are top of the Trophy (40 over) table and second in the Championship table, so they have a chance of making both finals. Meanwhile, Ryan Higgins was making 65 off 46 balls with 12 fours and a six for England U-19s as they were thrashed by Pakistan by 180 runs. He had done less well the previous day, making 0 as England beat Bangladesh by 5 wkts. Higgins did better in the next game against the Bangles, making 112* out of 199-1 and took the Man of the Match as England won by 9 wkts, but his 54 v Pakistan was in vain as England lost by 4 runs. R Higgins made 70* out of 151 a/o in the U19 Tri-Nations Final as England were thrashed by Pakistan again, this time by 192! I expect a Pakistan won the Teenager of the Series award, but Ryan cannot have been far behind.
For the Championship match against Durham at Lord's, the only change to the team that finished the last game against Sussex was that Eoin Morgan replaced Dawid Malan. Neil Dexter won the toss for Middlesex and unsurprisingly asked Durham to bat first on another green pitch which would offer extravagant movement to the seamers. Durham soon fell to 13 for 3, but ex-captain Will Smith and England ODI all rounder Ben Stokes led a fight back which was continued by skipper Paul Collingwood, who top scored with 30. The conditions were difficult for the batsmen, but the visitors will still have been disappointed to be all out for 143. Steve Finn returned the best figures for Middesex (4 for 46) and he was well supported by Gareth Berg (2 for 13), Corey Collymore (2 for 30) and Tim Murtagh (2 for 38). John Simpson claimed 5 victims behind the stumps. Middlesex's start (15 for 3) was as bad as Durham's, but Morgan and Simpson both helped captain Dexter add useful runs. The best batting of the innings, however, came when Berg joined Dexter and the pair added a valuable 48 for the sixth wicket before both fell to Graham Onions, Dexter for a determined 48 from 111 balls with 7 fours and Berg for an attractive 35 from 59 balls with 5 fours.
A collapse on the second morning saw the home side slump to a very disappointing 168 all out, a lead of a mere 25. Like Luke Wright, "Bunny" Onions always does well in my presence and he excelled himself again on this occasion, finishing with 7 for 62. England ODI man Phil Mustard held 4 catches behind the wicket. The Durham second innings started badly again (10 for 2), but another England ODI all rounder Scott Borthwick helped to stabilise things before Smith and Stokes combined to add 65 (the joint highest stand of the match) for the fourth wicket as the track eased in hot sunshine and strong breezes after lunch on day 2. Smith departed for 30 with 5 fours, but Stokes went on to make the top score of the match with 51 from 98 balls with 8 fours. Mustard, another ex-captain, played entertainingly for 30* with 5 fours and Callum Thorp, from Perth WA, helped him to add 39 for the eighth wicket, but the total of 171 all out set Middlesex only 147 to win. Middlesex waited until their 95th over of the match before they tried spin for the first time and Ollie Rayner enjoyed immediate success with 2 wickets in his first over and 3 for 25 altogether. Murtagh (3 for 32) and Finn (3 for 56) were the best of the pace bowlers.
Joe Denly (32 from 33 balls) looked in good form in the Middlesex second innings, but it was the third wicket stand of 65 between Adam Voges (36 with 5 fours) and Morgan (39* with 5 fours) which convinced us that Middlesex were on their way to a comfortable victory. Dexter made another useful contribution to a stand of 40 with Morgan, but when he fell with the scores level, Simpson was able to score the run which clinched the win by 6 wickets and it was all over just after noon on day three. England rejects Bunny (9 for 102 in the match) and Finny (7 for 102 in the match) both enjoyed the helpful conditions, though I did not think either was quite at his best, possibly because the ball was just doing so much after hitting the track that it was terribly hard to know exactly where to pitch it.
Middlesex opener Sam Robson started the match needing 14 runs to become the first batsman to reach 1,000 runs in the Championship this season, but he managed only half of the required number (falling twice to the burly Sunderland seamer Chris Rushworth, his only two wickets of the match) and this allowed Worcestershire's Moeen Ali to beat him to the target. Sam's opening partner in the first half of the season, Chris Rogers, reached his 1,000 runs for the season in the third Test at Old Trafford. Middlesex 19 points, Durham 3 and this allowed Middlesex to overtake Durham and move into third place in division one of the Championship with a game in hand on second placed Sussex, who contrived to give bottom club Derbyshire their first win of the season at Hove.
Paddy Carlin was also there
A day of falling wickets most of them to slip or wicket keeper catches as the humid early morning conditions and lively pitch caused havoc. Simpson snaffled five and Robson and Rayner held god ones but there were rash shots from the Durham batsmen. I saw one of the worst batsmen in the county game in the massive bouncer like personage of Rushworth who looks also a very useful foil to Onions as a bowler. I was amazed to find that he averaged nearly 24 last year which was down to many not outs but his lack of skill puts him in the Colleymore/Dernbach category.
Sofa Cricket
Surrey v Somerset Quarter Final T20 at Kennington Oval 6 August
Craig Kieswetter batted through the Somerset innings but only faced 51 balls in reaching 70 not out. Somerset’s 148 didn’t seem enough and that proved to be the case. Roy and Davies added 62 from 7 overs and although Surrey lost wickets and had to face the threat of Thomas and Arafat at the death they got home comfortably enough with an over to spare. This match was a feisty affair with Gareth batty getting into it with various members of the opposition.
Northamptonshire v Durham Quarter Final T20 at Northampton, 6 August
At some point everyone started to take Northamptonshire seriously and those who hadn’t so far would have been converted by this showing. Their top order all contributed and at respectable strike rates. Cameron White then saw them through to 183 with 58 not out including four sixes. I thought that Middlesex may have been premature in releasing Stephen Crook at the end of last season and it was he who struck first, bowling Stoneman. James Middlebrook, who bowls his off spinners like an older brother of James Tredwell, then got Borthwick and Mustard. Any recovery by Durham was frustrated by Lee Daggett who conceded just 13 from his four overs. Ben Stokes struck some mighty blows but the rate got beyond him as Northants ran out comfortable winners by 36 runs. An interesting member of this Northants side is Azharullah, the Pakistani seamer who is quicker than he looks and is seemingly difficult to get away. He also is one of those rare and delightful players in the modern game who doesn’t do fielding. He fails to stop the ball even if it goes straight to him and catching is speculative at best. Needless to say the ball follows him round.
Hampshire v Lancashire Quarter Final T20 at The Ageas Bowl, 7 August
The first half of the Hampshire innings featured James Vince who scored 60 out of 110 from just 30 balls faced. The second half showcased Michael Carberry who completed his hundred from the final ball. The Hampshire total of 202 seemed formidable. Nobody reached fifty for Lancashire but they kept going and aided by a wide and a no ball by Tanvir in the last over they ultimately fell just 1 run short.
Nottinghamshire v Essex Quarter Final T20 at Trent Bridge, 8 August
Essex struggled to get this far and were put in by Notts. At 46 for 3 they seemed in trouble but Bopara and ten Doeschate added 72 before Bopara was dismissed. Much then depended on the African Dutchman who made 82 with five sixes and Essex finished on a more than respectable 187. Hales and Lumb came out swinging and Hales reached 31 from 12 balls when he was first out at 46 to david masters who went on to get Lumb and Taylor. Shaun Tait was bowling very fast and got Samit Patel whose current shape suggests he has given up all England ambitions. David Hussey earned no Brownie points with George Sharp as he constantly complained about full tosses which he thought should have been called no balls but he also swung heartily and reached 61 before holing out to Tait. Notts were dismissed for a disappointing 140 with Tait taking 4 for 29 and Masters 3 for 26.
Somerset v Gloucestershire YB40 at Taunton, 11 August
Michael Klinger, the Gloucestershire captain, made half his side’s runs as he carried his bat in a total of 263. This might have seemed enough on many grounds but not at Taunton when one of their big hitters gets going. On this occasion it was Craig Kieswetter (remember him?) who made 126 not out from 97 balls including six sixes as Somerset won with seven overs to spare. Buttler didn’t even make it to the crease.
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Surrey v Derbyshire YB40 at Kennington Oval, 11 August
This may have been the perfect YB40 match. Derbyshire batted first and made 294 for 9 with Hughes and Borrington making significant contributions. Surrey completed their chase off the last ball as Linley hit the requisite boundary from the only ball he faced.
Derbyshire v Durham YB40 at Derby, 15 August
This wicket looked odd and Durham decided to bowl first. They seemed pleased with themselves as Mark Wood achieved movement and early wickets. Wayne Madsen and Richard Johnson then added 103 in the only significant partnership of the match. Gareth Breese had had a bowl without seeming dangerous. However, when Ryan “Rhino” Pringle came on he turned the ball square and the lower order struggled to lay a bat on him. At this point a queue of part time Durham spinners queued up to join in the fun and in all eight bowlers got to turn their arms over. Suddenly the Derbyshire score of 217 looked somewhat demanding. Wayne Madsen cleaned out the top order before the spinners got to have a bowl but once Tom Knight and David Wainwright got to work 60 for 2 became 110 all out. The ball was turning square and spitting as the surface broke up. Durham may have looked glum at the end but not as miserable as the England Under 19s who were due to play on the same wicket the next day.
Warwickshire v Worcestershire YB40 at Edgbaston, 19 August
Daryl Mitchell won the toss and goy his side off to a flier with 60 from 49 balls against a depleted Warwickshire attack spearheaded by Milnes and Piolet. But it was his opening partner, Moeen Ali, who cashed in and went on to make 114 from 85 balls. The Worcestershire innings collapsed in the slog at the end and their final score of 291 looked less than at one time seemed likely. It was more than enough for Warwickshire who collapsed to 19 for 3 as Graeme Cessford (yes him) wreaked havoc. Nobody reached fifty and Worcestershire won by a mammoth 140 runs.
Lancashire v Hampshire YB40 at Old Trafford, 20 August
This was a critical match for the semi final qualification and Lancashire reached 261 on a good wicket with Moore, Brown and Croft reaching fifties but failing to go on. Hampshire’s sixteen year old off spinner, Taylor, took a wicket in his first over and performed creditably on his debut but it was Mascarenhas, who is playing his farewell games, who chipped in with 5 for 42 without seeming to do anything special with the ball as he has done on so many occasions over the years. Hampshire were without Carberry and Vince who were on Lions duty but their middle order almost got them home but no one stayed there and they ultimately fell 5 runs short.
England Lions v Bangladesh A ODI 20 August at Bristol
This was the match that Carberry and Vince were playing in and they both missed the boat, as Taylor after the Lions had been put in. But Gary Balance who is scoring hundreds for fun in August made another as did Luke Wright. The latter is usually only picked for t20 duties with England but revelled in his chance at the fifty over format and made 143 from 68 deliveries, including ten sixes. The Lions racked up 353 and Bangladesh stood no chance and were bowled out for 151 to lose by 202 runs.
Bruton Matters
Allen Bruton sent me this
Unlike the majority of your C&G readership I spent the Glorious Twelfth not on the grouse moors but at the far more mundane Wolverhampton Racecourse. On departure TMS advised that Australia were 168-2 and moving inexorably towards their victory target. By the time the stands of Walsall Football Ground came into view Warner, Clarke, Smith, Haddin and Harris were all back in the hutch and it was effectively game over. To use the words of the advert, “If only Carlsberg did traffic jams” they would be hard pressed to stage a more enjoyable one than this.
Cheltenham Festival Matters
Paddy Carlin made his annual pilgrimage
This was quite the hottest day on which I have attended a cricket match in the UK. Nearly 400 runs had been chased down the previous day against the Gloucestershire attack and so what a toss for Worcestershire to win - a fast outfield to go with the extreme heat. A dozy few opening overs as the Worcestershire middle order strolled around the boundary talking to spectators and signing the odd autograph in their casual wear. Then suddenly cricket Armageddon as 15 for 0 became 22 for 6 in the space of five overs. Players rushing back to get changed as four wickets, including a hat trick to the burly South African, Fuller, went down in six balls.
I’ve always believed that the great cricketer in the sky doesn’t like players not being ready to go in and so it is highly amusing to see the chaos around the Worcestershire dressing room. In the event two unsung cricketers Leach, who went on to score a ton in the second innings, and Andrew put on a stand to get Worcestershire to 180 odd. This was nothing like enough as Klinger and Dent added 80 in a dozen overs.
As I took my seat on the boundary’s edge in a GJM sort of position I was asked if Hammond was playing today. Indeed he was. Not the great Walter but a diminutive spinner named Miles. Any relation? I also saw the worst fielder in county cricket, the Gloucestershire seamer Craig Miles who not only could not get his tall frae down to field the ball but also could not regularly catch it when it was lobbed to him by the cover fielder. And yes he did spill a simple catch in the deep.
Peter Lapping was also there
There was an excellent Bertie Wooster Brunch to which the PG Wodehouse Society came in force. There were some very good speeches (one by a seasoned Aussie journalist whose name escapes me) and all because PGW spotted a Percy Jeeves playing for Warwickshire at Cheltenham in 1913 and decided to use his name. The author of "The Real Jeeves" was there - apparently he, Jeeves, was rejected by his native Yorkshire, adopted by Warwickshire and became a formidable all rounder. He starred for The Players in 1914 and was being tipped as a future England player but, sadly, did not survive The Somme. Gloucestershire seem to specialise in celebrating quirky anniversaries.
Food and Hunger Matters
Paddy Carlin updates us
Umpiring in the Hertfordshire League this season I have rarely had a traditional tea comprising a few sandwiches some cakes and a cuppa. I have had several pasta meals including Bolognese and veggie, lots of pizza, garlic bread, samosas, bangers and mash, jacket potatoes with cheese and beans and even pork casserole. Totteridge/Millhillians even have a chef in attendance. No wonder John Emburey plays for them and Steve Selwood decamped there from Finchley. I half expect to see Jolly Jack Simmons there next year.
Umpiring at Luton Town on Saturday I noticed that the home side were getting more nad more excited and hyper as the game progressed and this was explained to me as the Ramadan effect. They were apparently dying of thirst and ravishingly hungry.
You can still do it Matters
King Cricket recently published the following plaintive missive from Bert
Finally I gave in. There is only so much a man can take. First the bait. You used to play a bit, didn’t you Bert? You must have been a decent cricketer in your time, I’ll bet. Then the hook. There’s no real commitment, and you look like the sort of man who has the occasional Wednesday evening free. And finally the reeling in. We’re short this coming Wednesday, can you help? You can, that’s marvellous! Nets on Tuesday six o’clock prompt, don’t be late. You’re down to play the first ten matches, so you’d better get some practice in.
So I’m in, after a gruelling selection process (Can you drive to the away matches?). Old Filchonians O40s midweek 20/20 evening cricket. Now I have no experience of vets’ cricket, but vets’ rugby I do know. That’s a game for ex-players who’ve lost their speed, lost their stamina, lost their sharpness, but who still retain their love of drunkenness and starting fights. I’m assuming that O40s cricket is in much the same vein.
A trip to the loft was the first thing, to see which of my cricket equipment has survived the Stalinist Purges of Things from My Past. Gloves – check. Pads – check. Yellows – check, so clearly a trip to the outfitters needed. Box – check, but its time as a home for the family hamster has taken its toll on the padding, so a new one needed. Collection of old porn mags hidden in the base of the cricket bag where she definitely won’t look – GONE! I guess they must have fallen out at some match once.
Bat – check. Ah, the old DF Attack. A present many years ago from the wife, girlfriend as was back then. 2lb 6oz of finely crafted craftsmanship (owing to a slight misunderstanding when buying it, she’d asked the man for a 26lb bat). Having watched Gower play, I’ve always preferred a lighter bat – much easier to tuck insouciantly under the arm when walking off for 7. But still, a magnificent item, in pristine condition. The middle, I noticed, was particularly well-kept – none of those ugly red stains you see on some bats. The grip disintegrated while I was taking guard in front of the mirror. I mentioned this at the club. I say mentioned, but the Club President, who keeps all the kit for that sort of thing, was on the other side of the ground. A tip for you all – when trying to communicate to the Club President that you need a new grip putting on your bat handle, sign language is NOT an acceptable method.
And so, here we are, all ready to go. First match tomorrow, away at Posh North Cheshire Poncey Overpaid Footballers Bentleys Everywhere La-di-dah Edge CC. Now this might give some people here a bit of a reminder, for this isn’t the first article to appear on this website concerning North Cheshire O40s cricket. No, it turns out that among the many luminaries of the cricket world who have previously been asked to play in this league is one King Cricket’s Dad. And Neil Fairbrother and Wasim Akram as well. I once played rugby against a team containing a recently retired Kurt Sorensen, and decided early on that the only difference in outcome between trying to tackle him and just letting him score was the level of pain in my face. A guard three feet outside leg stump is my similar, carefully thought-out plan to facing Wasim, should it happen.
So there it is. I could be skipping out to bat (I always do this to unsettle the bowlers) while unknowingly under the watchful match-report-writing sloe-berry-seeking eye of King Cricket’s Mum, maybe even King Cricket himself, maybe (if he succumbed to the pressure to play) to face King Cricket’s Dad’s devastatingly gentle non-spinning off-breaks, known by all to be the most successful wicket-taking delivery in all of club cricket (any ball from Wasim Akram excepted). Who knows? However, so as to keep a low profile and maintain my anonymity, I’ve decided to play all the matches wearing a Darth Vader novelty helmet. That should work.
A full match report will follow…
Red Mist Monday
There was something in the air on Bank Holiday Monday which led to Red Mist bursting out throughout the YB40 competition. The assault was led by David Willey who has forced his way to the front of the queue to be taken seriously as a potential international all rounder. He has, up till now, been a useful left arm opening bowler but he jumps at the chance to open the batting in the limited forms of the game. On this occasion he clubbed 167 from 101 balls with 10 sixes.
Durham were 112 for 5 when Gordon Muchall joined Will Smith for Durham in their match against Surrey. These two added 163 in the second half of the innings. Will Smith has not been hitherto be renowned for his hitting but he scored 120 not out from just 79 balls. If there is big hitting around Luke Wright will not normally want to miss out.
Worcester set Sussex 244 to win which they achieved with twelve overs to spare thanks largely to Wright’s 112 from 69 balls.
Amongst this mayhem two of the usual contributors appear as pedestrian also rans. Ravi Bopara made 130 from 102 balls and Eion Morgan chipped in with 90 from 63 balls. The Red Mist apparently drifted down to the Ageas Bowl on Thursday.
Ethical Matters
Douglas Miller sent me this
I find it mildly absurd that anyone should be critical of Broad for not walking. Who was he deceiving? Almost nobody except Aleem Dar. On the other hand the really sneaky one was Haddin at the death. He knew he had hit the ball – he admitted as much afterwards – but it was such a thin edge that this was where the poor umpire really needed ‘help’. If one buys into the convention of walking, and it is no part of Test cricket nor (it seems) of the Spirit of Cricket, then Haddin was more guilty than Broad. Now had Haddin chosen to walk, what might it fetch on the black market to be a fly on the wall of the Aussie dressing room? And what would the last of the walkers, Adam Gilchrist, have done in Haddin’s shoes? But why is he more of a disgrace than Haddin? Both knew they were out, both were given not out. We all knew Broad was out. We didn’t all know Haddin was out. I am looking for intellectual rigour in the answer. Perhaps the Professor can provide it.
And the Professor duly did
This is an interesting little debate. If you hit the ball down mid-on's throat, you walk off. Why? Because there is no way you could be given not out. If you snick it (even very hard), you stay put because there is a chance (quite a good chance it seems) that you might be given not out. In other words, there is no moral dimension to this question at all, as far as modern cricketers are concerned. All the stuff that we were brought up with and all the "spirit of the game" mantra count for nothing in this regard. It is purely an operational issue. To put it another way, to say that you are "out" if you hit it and it is caught is wrong...you are only out if the umpire thinks you are and your job is to score runs not to help the umpire. The ethical question arises, even for the modern professional cricketer, in things like claiming a catch. If it is OK not to walk when you've hit it, is it OK to appeal when you haven't caught it?
I suppose they might take refuge in a sort of "sins of omission/commission" distinction. The batsman in the first instance is not, as it were, lying to the umpire - he is merely doing nothing. The fielder, in the second case, is initiating (and that is the important word) an attempt to deceive. I think, even in these cynical days, that greater opprobrium attaches to the fielder who claims a catch when it has clearly bounced than to the batsman who doesn't walk (perhaps, not least because none of them do any more). I suppose we could work our way through hundreds of other cases of "moral hazard" on the cricket pitch using this distinction...but I'm not sure where it would take us.
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