GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 58
October 2007
Caption Competition
1. Hamburger: Well at least I had my fifteen minutes of fame when I dropped KP at the Oval.
2. Anil Kumble: So how many test match hundreds did you score Shane?
3. Interviewer: How do you rank Ritchie Benaud, Chandrasekhar, Abdul Qadir and Anil Kumble?
Hamburger: Below me.
4. Victoria Beckham: Nice tits Shane. Did you get your boob job at the same place as me?
5. Paul Collingwood: Didn’t you go to the Mavericks Revue when you were in South Africa?
Hamburger: Of course, but I didn’t get caught.
6. Interviewer: How do the other players at the Rose Bowl react to sharing a dressing room with a legend?
KP: I try to keep a pretty low profile but, of course, the others must all be truly honoured to be in my presence.
Hamburger: Shut up you prat, he means me.
Out and About with the Professor
You will be pleased to learn that at long last WGCCC are Champions of Hertfordshire. In the end, it went down to the final match at West Herts where we needed 4 points to win the title (assuming the second side won, etc, etc). West Herts, in effect "Watford", are a pretty useful side and have this year included Neal Parlane (who plays for Wellington in the "winter"), Sheriyar (a very useful opening bowler for Kent until relatively recently) and Stephen Finn, who is, I think, the same Stephen Finn who turned out recently for Middlesex, In any event, a handy team. While our required points were my no means guaranteed, we won the game by 7 wickets - so it was easy enough in the end.
There was, however, a nice little tweak to these events...West Herts batted first and the points system (don't ask) required us to take 7 wickets to win the title. At one point that looked a little remote as the first three batted well up to 130 or so. Then a not-very-friendly LBW and a couple of chipped catches saw them to 162-6...at which point they promptly declared. The declaration came after 40 of a maximum 60 overs and at a point where the total was about a hundred short of making it a close match. West Herts were not themselves in the running for the title and so the only explanation was, seemingly, to thwart us. There was a suggestion that they thought we might "choke" and be bowled out in a fit of nervousness and that they would therefore win the game. Far more likely, in my view, would have been if they had been all out for 200 or so and we, having secured the necessary points for the Championship, would have batted with gay abandon and got ourselves out. In the end it didn't matter at all since we knocked off the runs and opened the champers.
This has been a great season for us: the 5ths are promoted as Champions, the 3rds are promoted, the 4ths and 2nds had goodish seasons and the 1sts are promoted as Champions. We now enter what must be just about the toughest league in the country. I know there are lots of candidates for that title but I think the standard is above that of the Yorkshire league and I understand that this year's winners, Slough, field three ex Test players. So we will have lots of work to do before next season. But before then we will have a very happy Presentation Night and a month or two of smugness.
Last week, in the process of visiting a school, I found myself in Taunton. I checked into the “Cosy Corner Hotel” (…only one of whose adjectives had any veracity) and then went for a wander round. I don’t think I’ve ever had occasion to visit the town before but it is a pleasant enough place although sadly the high street looks much the same as every other with a Boots, and a W H Smiths and something called “River Island”. There were a couple of (largely Victorian rebuilt) churches and a nice few pubs and, of course, the river.
On the way into town (from the west) you go past the county ground and so I walked in that general direction, and just past Morrisons and before the cattle market, I found it. Even better, the ground was open and, even better, there was a game on. There was no one at the gate, so in I walked. The first impressions were not, I have to say all that great. Some of your readers will know the ground well. It is famously “compact”, which is to say that it is very short straight although the square boundaries seemed far enough. There is a newish pavilion and a new “The Ian Botham Stand” (which presumably will be shortly dropping the definite article for something more noble) and also a smart new set of gates. For the rest, however, there is a general air of decay and even dilapidation. I went into the “Old Pavilion” which gives the best view on the ground but which is essentially a set of ex-cinema seats that have all the stuffing hanging out of them. The open seating is none too posh and another “stand” next to the Old Pavilion looks like it will not be standing for very much longer. No doubt there is a rebuilding programme planned…one very much hopes so.
And the cricket? Well, one reason, I suppose, for the absence of a ticket booth was that it was a club game. But not any old game, it was the national final, between Bath Wanderers CC and Ransome and Marles CC of the women’s club championship. We have spoken about women’s cricket before but I had not seen a top game for some time and the standard was, as you might expect, very high. A number of international players were on view, including the England captain Jenny Gunn who top-scored for Ransome, the eventual winners. There was some briskish bowling and the standard of fielding was very high – I was particularly impressed by the Ransome wicket keeper, Jane Smit, who stood up to all the bowling and would have been a very useful asset to any club side, male or female.
It was interesting to see how the voguish cricket fashions you so often complain about were there in the women’s game: Ms Smit, for example, is from the Nixon/Prior school of non-stop prattle; every ball, no matter how softly hit, had to be thrown back to the keeper; any ball hit past a fielder was recovered with the obligatory slide; and, of course, after all boundaries the batsmen (sic) punched gloves. Still it was a nice day and a pleasant couple of hours. I didn’t stay to the end but Ransome ran out as the eventual winners which, I learned, put to an end their five consecutive years as runners-up. The school, by the way, like so many others, didn’t play cricket.
Where’s The Academic Detachment?
Murray Hedgcock sent me these notes
I see the Professor has returned to his perceived mission in life i.e. to annoy your Antipodean Correspondent. This time, it is via an ironic study of the Saintly Shane’s thoughts of becoming German, to help him qualify fully for Hampshire - along with all those other non-Englanders who play in the “English” County Championship. Some, the Prof. will appreciate, appear to play for as little as a couple of weeks, such is the feverish turnover in imports. His rather condescending comment - “many Germans speak English very well” - puts it mildly. My wife, born and schooled in Niedersachsen, handles her adopted language so comfortably that she does not bother with the Daily Telegraph crossword, regarding it as too easy. She does The Times and The Guardian instead.
But rather than bite at the Prof’s bait, I shall content myself with recounting a pleasing story from cricketing history. As told in my sports column in The Australian - Australia’s national daily - the ambition from childhood of Francis Stewart was to captain his country at Lord’s. Growing up cricket-enthused in Sydney, and fed on a diet of the Ashes, he had seen this as the Holy Grail. And it duly came true on the morning of July 17, 1992, when he did indeed lead his country onto the sacred NW8 turf to engage in combat with the home team.
However - he was captaining not Australia, but Germany, where he had settled, and whose cricket was (and is) steadily advancing, thanks to a string of expats from the Sub-Continent and the Old Dominions. That was the match in which some bloke named Gary Lineker was dismissed for a solitary run, to comment: “I always get one against Germany”. The visitors could barely scrape a draw - but as Stewart summed up: “This was a dream come true”.
And finally…I note the Prof getting in the standard crack about Rupert Murdoch demonstrating that “changing nationality for pecuniary advantage is not regarded as a great impediment in that part of the world (Godzone Country)”. Whether the Prof. would similarly slight those oodles of worthy Brits motivated by much the same urge in emigrating to Oz, I know not. However, I should point out that Rupert Murdoch - for whom I have worked for nearly half a century – while no cricket buff, did present the Murdoch Cup for annual cricketing competition between The News in Adelaide and The Herald in Melbourne. He also most sportingly posted me to London in the Sixties, so that I could play, watch, talk and write cricket in this country. Can’t be all bad, surely?
Twenty20 Matters
The inaugural World Cup has been quite extraordinary and it will have a major impact on all levels of international cricket in the future. It was generally assumed that because this form of the game started in England they would have an advantage based on their experience. However, this ignores the reality that the English game grew in an environment of Bouncy Castles, Speed Dating tents and face painting.
In contrast this tournament has been deadly serious and the English tactics have looked naïve and irrelevant. England’s batsmen only scored two fifties and of these KP’s was against Zimbabwe. In fact KP’s international status as a premier batsman must have taken a serious knock since he failed to play a significant innings against Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and India. On each occasion the stage was set for him to lead the way and on each occasion he failed to step up. He has no track record of success in this form of the game. It is odd that everyone seems to think that he will have the temperament for it. He is miles behind Youvraj, Gambir, MacMillan and the newcomer Misbah-ul-Haq.
The tactic of medium pacers bowling slower balls also failed. Every time Collingwood bowled one of his armoury of slower balls the opposition slogged it out of sight. The extraordinary selection of Chris Schofield for this tournament was almost vindicated as some batsmen were baffled by his selection of old fashioned rinse. He served a cocktail of very slow long hops, full tosses and half volleys until Albie Morkel brought this nonsense to an end by taking eighteen off his last three balls and he wasn’t seen again. Jeremy Snape had two chances dropped from his only over in the competition and one wonders why he went at all. Freddie managed to bowl the crucial length consistently and was treated with respect. But of course he shouldn’t have been there and was never fit. At least they are not going to drag him to Sri Lanka on a stretcher or in a wheelchair.
England introduced the tactic of using their bowlers in one over spells. This may have been designed to accommodate Freddie’s anticipated periods of fitness but in other respects seemed to confuse the fielding side as much as the batters.
What has become clear is that not all games are high scoring and that you can win, except England, with a low score. However, explosive scoring is essential and this is fuelled by sixes. In the Super Eight games every match was won by the side that hit the most sixes. This is a fascinating statistic and England will have to learn from it. The tour de force, of course, came from Youvraj with his perfect over and this was serious modern cricket hitting. Since it has happened twice this year and Mascarenhas almost did it, it is likely to be attempted by more players in future and we can expect to see it achieved more regularly.
England’s poor showing extended to all facets of their game and their fielding never got above mediocre. Shah, Pietersen and Tremlett are poor fielders and apart from Collingwood nobody comes into the good category. All round the catching was mediocre. In contrast Pakistan who would be expected to be erratic, have looked razor sharp in the field with Afridi quite outstanding. His ability to hit the stumps from inside the ring is almost in the Ponting class. He has emerged as the top all rounder in this tournament, with interestingly his batting being the least used of the three skills.
It hasn’t impressed everyone, though. I received this from the Hampton headquarters of the Great Jack Morgan: “On Saturday, I needed two tellies to keep track of England’s World Cup efforts in France and GB’s Davis Cup campaign at Wimbledon, whilst using teletext to stay in touch with developments at the Oval and at Loftus Road. I gave no thought to happenings in South Africa.”
County Championship Matters
The County Championship has been a triumph this year despite the weather. After the mid season break and the rains abated there was much exciting cricket and the first division race went down to the wire. On the Tuesday morning of the first round of matches Lancashire despite a poor start to the season found themselves on top of the table. They would be champions if they beat Surrey at the Oval. Durham were the first to make a move when they completed victory over Kent at Canterbury on Friday and went to the top of the table. This lasted less than twenty four hours when Sussex, thanks once again to Mushtaq Ahmed, completed victory over Worcestershire to take over at the top.
Meanwhile at the Oval Mark Ramprakesh had taken two centuries off Lancashire to complete 2000 runs for the season and finish the season for the second consecutive season with an average in excess of 100. This left Lancashire to score 489 to win on the last day of the season. At 6.05pm they were 465-9 but then Dominic Cork was bowled to leave Sussex champions.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this report
I went to Uxbridge for the second eleven three-dayer v Glamorgan. There was considerable doubt about the Middlesex team on day one and no score-sheets were available, but there was no doubt about the emphatic second wicket stand of 287 between Dawid Malan (159) and Adam London (128), which enabled Middlesex to declare on 445 for 5. Malan was immediately whisked away to Bristol to act as 12th man for the first XI and London also took on a new role as he was required to deputise for Nash behind the sticks as the latter suffered yet another of his collapsing fits and took little part in the match. Morgan, Evans and Finn had been elevated to the first XI, Compton was absent for family reasons, Housego was away with England U-19s and Hutton and Johnson are both reported to have “retired”. Gareth Rees made 76 and Glam declared 88 behind, allowing Middlesex to set Glamorgan a reasonable 332 to win in 80 overs. Kabir Toor made 55 in the Middlesex second innings, but the star was Gareth Berg (104). Gareth had been slightly disappointing in his previous appearances, but this time he made amends by hitting an impressively powerful century in quick time and has apparently earned himself a contract for next season. He bowls capably and catches well and the latest story is that he is now qualified for England and would not, therefore, need to be signed as a Kolpak.
The Middlesex captains during the match appeared to be Nash (official captain), Emburey (oh yes, the Director was involved in this one), Peploe and Dalrymple, but whoever was responsible for the declaration, it seemed a slightly generous one to me. Only 332 were required in 80 overs on a very good track and a fast outfield. Initially, however, Glamorgan showed little interest in the target (opener R Evans made 42 in 51 overs), but when, belatedly, Middlesex brought on the spinners (when Dalrymple was in charge), not only did JWMD (5 wickets) and Peploe (3) have success, but so did the Glamorgan batters, led by Mike O’Shea (71) and the tail (no 9 Alex Jones and no 10 C Ashling put on a rapid 66 for the ninth wicket), who took Glam to 297-9, one wicket away from defeat, but only 35 runs away from victory. In the end, it was half a dozen dropped catches that cost Middlesex the win. It was an interesting final day that had looked as if it might have been a dull one. The Nash situation is so dire that there is no chance of his returning to the first team, so it is absolutely brilliant that Scotty has rediscovered his batting form.
Another double
After last season’s double relegation Middlesex completed an unlikely and unexpected double this season. Their second eleven won the Second Eleven Trophy and the first eleven won the Play Off match to gain promotion in the Pro40 competition. The following report was lifted from the Middlesex Newsletter:
In a heart-stopping finale, the Middlesex 2nd XI beat Somerset 2nd XI by one run to secure the Second Eleven Trophy, writes Richard Goatley. In the final over, Robbie Williams clean bowled Sutton with a fast yorker to decide a match that swung between the two sides throughout a frantic days cricket.
Middlesex looked in prime position to set an imposing target after a stand of 142 between Eoin Morgan and Billy Godleman took Middlesex to 148 for 1 but then a collapse against the spin of Suppiah left Middlesex feeling disappointed with a total of 198. The brilliance of the two Middlesex stars was not entirely clear until Somerset batted. The pitch was on its’ sixth day of play and had started to turn square and bounce erratically. Using the pitch well, the Middlesex seamers reduced Somerset to 64 for 4, with Robbie Williams picking up 2 early wickets and Chris Peploe bowling beautifully.
The lack of front-line spinners in the Middlesex side meant Somerset recovered to 160 for 6 however with Francis and Andrew promising to take the trophy to the West Country. A combination of fine bowling from Peploe and Steve Finn, together with some panicky running between the wickets meant a clatter of wickets fell, leaving Somerset 168 for 9. A brave last wicket partnership between Andrew and Sutton took Somerset to within an ace of the cup before Williams provided the winning delivery to the delight of a noisy Middlesex contingent.
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this: “ You no doubt heard that the 2s won the 2nd XI trophy at Taunton by 1 run (giving the club its first trophy since Gouldy’s two wins in the championship in ’99 and ’00), but you may not have heard that there was a ferocious debate between the scorers about the final scores. Apparently the scorers differed by an incredible 9 runs! How could this happen? All this comes from Jeff Coleman. After fine innings by Billy Godleman and Eoin Morgan, the Middlesex innings fell apart, but Robbie Williams took the final Somerset wicket with the first ball of the final over to give the club a welcome trophy (especially as I actually saw some of the earlier rounds). They were dancing in the streets of Middlesex!”
Match report
The following match took place between South Hampstead and Ealing at Milverton Road on Saturday 1 August 1964
This was a landmark match for my cricketing career as it was my first team debut for South Hampstead. Unfortunately I had not forced my way into the side through sheer weight of runs in the lower sides but was being blooded to give me experience and a taste of the real thing. Roy Phipps was not available for selection and I suspect that Bob Peach and Len Stubbs concluded that the side’s occasional bowlers were probably more likely to take wickets than any substitute for Roy from the second eleven. Hence they took the chance to give a first outing to a promising schoolboy. I recall that it was a pleasant sunny afternoon but can only remember isolated incidents of the action.
Ealing batted first. I can remember Alan Coxon pulling Bob Peach into the garden adjacent to the ground but not much else about the Ealing innings. However, when I called upon some of the other participants for their recollections I received this from Bob Fisher:
“It is a game that I remember very well, not I am afraid because it was your debut, but because in the dressing room after the game Messrs Fisher, Price, Mitchell, Lindley and Louison received a real rollicking from Ken Hinge, someone for whom we all had an enormous respect for, which made the ' roasting' very uncomfortable for us. The reason behind this was that we made a good start to our innings with Mark Brew and Brian Stevens putting on 58 for the first wicket before Mark was out bowled by Don Wallis for 18. Ken Hinge and Brian Stevens were also both bowled by Don, Stevens having made 54. Tony Mutter batting with Alan Coxon was run out before Brian Puddephatt joined Coxon. This was one of Puddys’ first ever games for the 1st team in his first season with the club. Whilst Coxon thrashed away at the other end before he was also bowled by Don for 36, Puddephatt blocked away at the other end and our innings completely lost its impetus. As a result, the cocky youngsters on the sideline, the aforementioned, but not Bert Louison who was nearing the end of his career, ignored our captain Mark Brew's advice to support Puddy and decided to play some shots. The result, Lindley lbw to Hart swinging across the line, Fisher and Louison bowled by Hart playing big shots and both Alan Price and Peter Mitchell stumped by Robin Agar yards down the pitch off the bowling of Bruce Tutton. Puddephatt was left stranded on 26 not out!
In reply to Ealing's total of 173, South Hampstead lost an early wicket, Peach caught Fisher bowled Lindley 4, but almost everybody else chipped in as our total was passed for the loss of six wickets. Terry Cordaroy made 33, Robin Ager 29, Len Stubbs 46. Alvin Nienow 54, John Weale made 0 with Tutton and Denley not out 4 and 1 respectively at the end. From our side Ken Hinge, Tony Mutter and Bert Louison are no longer with us. Whenever Ken's name comes up in conversation between Alan Price, John Lindley and me, we always seem to refer back to the game at South Hampstead. Hopefully, we all learnt a lesson that day that has stood us in good stead since.”
Well, this made the report more comprehensive than I had expected it to be. I also heard from Robin Ager “I have no recollection whatever, I'm afraid, Jim. This seems odd since, according to Bob Fisher's account, I made a couple of stumpings off Bruce - a pretty unusual occurrence. No doubt he will have a clear memory of the occasion. By the way, how was I out? Cheated, obviously, but what does the scorebook record? I was able to respond: “You hit six fours in your masterly 29 before being ridiculously given out caught Mutter bowled Louison.”
I had suggested in my round robin that Alan Coxon was a Cambridge Blue. Robin was kind enough to point out: “Alan Coxon was in fact an Oxford Blue, who always sported a Harlequins cap. As you've already observed, he was a clean striker of the ball, and also a very useful quickish left arm bowler. He was probably a cut above most Blues of that period, but I'm unaware if he hooked up with any county. I don't think he played all that regularly for Ealing, so it could be interpreted as a tribute to South Hampstead's reputation that he turned out in that game.”
Bob Fisher was able to flesh out this matter as well: “Robin's belief that Alan Coxon was not a regular in the Ealing side is somewhat wide of the mark. Alan joined Ealing in 1956 having just come down from University. He commenced working at Guinness and was introduced to our club by one of Ealing's legends, Eddie Ingram. Alan was a regular member of the club's first team for the next 10 seasons and was captain of the club from 1961 to 1963. During this period, he took 1144 wickets and made over 8000 runs. He did the double in 1959 and 1962. In 1965, the final season in this ten season spell he took 171 wickets. By this time he was bowling left arm spin with the occasional 'arm' ball thrown in. His work at Guinness took him off to Nigeria and he missed the seasons 1966-1969 but returned to the side in 1970 when he made over 500 runs and took over 50 wickets. He was an integral member of the side in that season who reached the final of The National Club Cup competition at Lords. 1970 was his final regular season at Ealing and he only played the odd game after that. Alan often used to recount his experience in the varsity game in either 1954 or 1955 when he was hit on the head by a bouncer from Cuan MacCarthy, the South African test bowler who had taken 4 wickets against England in an innings twice in the 1951 series. These were the days before helmets and Coxon's recall is that the ball struck him on the top of the head and whistled over the keeper standing some way back and flashed to the boundary for four leg byes. Alan who is now 77 lives in the West Country but he was at Ealing a couple of weeks ago for a luncheon reunion and appeared to be in very good nick.”
Bill Hart also contributed: “Of the Ealing XI listed in your original email, I have no reminiscence whatever of Brew (even though he was captain), Mutter or Louison. I remember all the others very well. Ken Hinge was at the end of his career, but Alvin Nienow had always rated him a very good player of fast bowling. John Lindley, Peter Mitchell (who caught me out wonderfully well, on the long-on boundary in the third Wills final at Hornsey), and Brian Puddephatt, played against us for many years. Alan Price was the best off-spinner we faced in my time at South Hampstead, and Bob Fisher was one of the best two or three wicket-keepers.
Turning to the two that you specifically asked about, Brian Stevens was a dangerous attacking opening bat, with a fine array of shots. However in my opinion, he was not comfortable with quick bowling at "middle & leg" and was inclined to give himself room in that area.
Alan Coxon was a very fine player indeed. He was, once set, a devastating hitter, somewhat after the style of Hayes of Finchley. He had the Indian sign on Roy Phipps saying that he was going to "lap" him and then doing it repeatedly. As a bowler he would open the bowling with brisk left arm seam, and then come back later with medium pace cutters, a la Derek Underwood. If there was anything in the wicket he could be very awkward indeed.”
Mushie Matters
Jim Revier sent me these notes on a trip to Hove
I followed your advice in the last edition and went to see Mushie on the 2nd day of what turned out to be a three day game between Sussex and Yorkshire. It was a lovely day and there was a very good crowd in. Sussex overnight were 386-5 with Hodd and R Martin-Jenkins both in the thirties. They progressed very comfortably to 410 before Martin-Jenkins was taken at slip off Hoggard for 49, his highest score of the season. Hodd impressed me with his innings although he did get bogged down in the eighties and nineties. Only to be expected, I guess, as this was his first County Championship ton. He received excellent support from Naved 46 and Saqlain 57*. Yorkshire's bowling was very ordinary. The locals were saying how good Rashid’s bowling had been on Day 1, but here he bowled too many 4 balls. I couldn’t understand why the Yorkies had snapped up Imran Tahir when they have young Lawson the staff, However, I had a bunch of the Professor’s men about ten rows behind me and so had the pleasure of hearing every word of their conversation and they were saying that Lawson has "Domestic Problems". They weren’t amused, though, because these problems didn’t prevent Lawson turning out for his club every Saturday. Perhaps the Prof knows more?
With Hodd’s dismissal for 123 Sussex declared on 597 - 8.The wicket looked a belter and Peg Leg and Gale moved serenely enough to 31 before Vaughan drove lavishly at Lewry and Yardy took a good catch high over his head in the gully. McGrath came in and he, too, looked comfortable before the whole complexion of the game changed with Mushie coming on. Yorks were mesmerised and we are talking here McGrath, Inzy, and Rudolph. Martin-Jenkins snaffled a couple and with Mushies’ four in the afternoon Yorkshire closed on 188-7, a beaten side and consequentially out of the Championship race. Only Gale 51 seemed to show any application.
On to wicket keepers - I haven't seen half of the Great Jack Morgan’s candidates but Hodd looked neat and kept well to Mushie. He can obviously bat and is very popular with the Hove crowd. Should Prior have a poor tour and finds himself back in county cricket it'll be interesting to see who Sussex give the gloves to. On the same subject GJM in the latest G & c said "Brophy’s batting keeps the excellent Simon Guy out of the Yorkshire side”. Well judging Brophy on one day is hard - but his keeping wasn’t good and he gave his wicket to R M-J for 0. I still would pick Read as he is the best keeper and then go for Jon Batty because he can bat anywhere.
And finally as I write this Surrey need about 175 to beat Warwickshire and preserve their Division 1 status. That they are in a position to do so and that they are in this Division in the first place is almost entirely due to Mark Ramprakash. God help Surrey when he packs in so I would advise your readers to bracket him with Mushie, Warney and co and go see him while you still can.
On the same subject the Great Jack Morgan added: “Generally, I have been very disappointed with Warney’s bowling in county cricket: he doesn’t seem to be able to lift his game for the medium sized occasion... but his batting has usually been terrific. Watching Mushtaq is great entertainment, but the irritating little pillock gets right up my nose by appealing noisily three or four times per over. It is even more important than usual to be behind the arm to appreciate these bowlers: huge turn, unspotted googlies, doosras, flippers, zooters, top spinners, back spinners (this is not possible) etc just cannot be appreciated from side on. Get behind the bowler’s arm and make your own decision on whether these deliveries exist or not. Unfortunately, I have not seen much of Murali from behind the arm and I am now unlikely to have that privilege I suppose... unless Lancs get relegated of course.”
The irritating little pillock in action
Professional Matters
Peter Ray offers some thoughts
As for professionalism, I believe that this noble word is grossly abused these days. To be a true professional, you play a sport at such a level of skill that cheating and unseemly behaviour is unnecessary and inappropriate. You are mindful also that your rewards come from the paying public, both in the ground and watching on TV. Fourteen overs to the hour represents a grave fraud upon that public. It was a rate which was deplored when Clive Lloyd's West Indians used it as a tool to ensure if not the usual victory, then to minimize the risk of defeat. Now it has become the shameful norm rendered even more shameful to those of us who remember people like Brian Close, Barrington and Boycott being criticised - or removed from captaincy - for over rates far nearer to twenty per hour.
It also implied the ability, as a bowler, not only to pitch on the cut strip, but to predict with absolute certainty which side of the cut strip it would pitch on. Had we ever said that one day such a thing could be seen at a Test match venue as an opening bowler directing the ball at third slip or its equivalent on the legside, men in white coats (with no knowledge, other than incidental, of umpiring) would have been summoned.
I could point to many other shortcomings but it is making me depressed to think about them. My view is that these days we have highly paid cricketers, not professionals. The great Jack Robertson was a professional. Someone like Harry Sharp had more professionalism in his little finger than many of the present crew and would nowadays be snapped up just for his ability to bowl off spin, let alone his batting. I always hoped to avoid saying that it was better in my/our/their day but the plain and unavoidable fact is that it was. And the more one hears the inane rigmarole spouted by brainless idiots like Prior - someone who might have struggled to get in a few good club sides I have seen over the years - and sees the complete lack of proper cricketing manners displayed by those who should serve as role models for the young, the more I become convinced of it. O mores! O tempores! Which quotation only goes to demonstrate, I suppose, that things have always been getting worse.
Football Matters
Andrew Baker’s Ladies Team has started the season well but he is concerned that they may not be tough enough to last the season. George offered to help him out by providing the legendary Vinny/Gazza photo to pin up on the dressing room wall to inspire them.
Googlies and Chinamen
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 58
October 2007
Caption Competition
1. Hamburger: Well at least I had my fifteen minutes of fame when I dropped KP at the Oval.
2. Anil Kumble: So how many test match hundreds did you score Shane?
3. Interviewer: How do you rank Ritchie Benaud, Chandrasekhar, Abdul Qadir and Anil Kumble?
Hamburger: Below me.
4. Victoria Beckham: Nice tits Shane. Did you get your boob job at the same place as me?
5. Paul Collingwood: Didn’t you go to the Mavericks Revue when you were in South Africa?
Hamburger: Of course, but I didn’t get caught.
6. Interviewer: How do the other players at the Rose Bowl react to sharing a dressing room with a legend?
KP: I try to keep a pretty low profile but, of course, the others must all be truly honoured to be in my presence.
Hamburger: Shut up you prat, he means me.
Out and About with the Professor
You will be pleased to learn that at long last WGCCC are Champions of Hertfordshire. In the end, it went down to the final match at West Herts where we needed 4 points to win the title (assuming the second side won, etc, etc). West Herts, in effect "Watford", are a pretty useful side and have this year included Neal Parlane (who plays for Wellington in the "winter"), Sheriyar (a very useful opening bowler for Kent until relatively recently) and Stephen Finn, who is, I think, the same Stephen Finn who turned out recently for Middlesex, In any event, a handy team. While our required points were my no means guaranteed, we won the game by 7 wickets - so it was easy enough in the end.
There was, however, a nice little tweak to these events...West Herts batted first and the points system (don't ask) required us to take 7 wickets to win the title. At one point that looked a little remote as the first three batted well up to 130 or so. Then a not-very-friendly LBW and a couple of chipped catches saw them to 162-6...at which point they promptly declared. The declaration came after 40 of a maximum 60 overs and at a point where the total was about a hundred short of making it a close match. West Herts were not themselves in the running for the title and so the only explanation was, seemingly, to thwart us. There was a suggestion that they thought we might "choke" and be bowled out in a fit of nervousness and that they would therefore win the game. Far more likely, in my view, would have been if they had been all out for 200 or so and we, having secured the necessary points for the Championship, would have batted with gay abandon and got ourselves out. In the end it didn't matter at all since we knocked off the runs and opened the champers.
This has been a great season for us: the 5ths are promoted as Champions, the 3rds are promoted, the 4ths and 2nds had goodish seasons and the 1sts are promoted as Champions. We now enter what must be just about the toughest league in the country. I know there are lots of candidates for that title but I think the standard is above that of the Yorkshire league and I understand that this year's winners, Slough, field three ex Test players. So we will have lots of work to do before next season. But before then we will have a very happy Presentation Night and a month or two of smugness.
Last week, in the process of visiting a school, I found myself in Taunton. I checked into the “Cosy Corner Hotel” (…only one of whose adjectives had any veracity) and then went for a wander round. I don’t think I’ve ever had occasion to visit the town before but it is a pleasant enough place although sadly the high street looks much the same as every other with a Boots, and a W H Smiths and something called “River Island”. There were a couple of (largely Victorian rebuilt) churches and a nice few pubs and, of course, the river.
On the way into town (from the west) you go past the county ground and so I walked in that general direction, and just past Morrisons and before the cattle market, I found it. Even better, the ground was open and, even better, there was a game on. There was no one at the gate, so in I walked. The first impressions were not, I have to say all that great. Some of your readers will know the ground well. It is famously “compact”, which is to say that it is very short straight although the square boundaries seemed far enough. There is a newish pavilion and a new “The Ian Botham Stand” (which presumably will be shortly dropping the definite article for something more noble) and also a smart new set of gates. For the rest, however, there is a general air of decay and even dilapidation. I went into the “Old Pavilion” which gives the best view on the ground but which is essentially a set of ex-cinema seats that have all the stuffing hanging out of them. The open seating is none too posh and another “stand” next to the Old Pavilion looks like it will not be standing for very much longer. No doubt there is a rebuilding programme planned…one very much hopes so.
And the cricket? Well, one reason, I suppose, for the absence of a ticket booth was that it was a club game. But not any old game, it was the national final, between Bath Wanderers CC and Ransome and Marles CC of the women’s club championship. We have spoken about women’s cricket before but I had not seen a top game for some time and the standard was, as you might expect, very high. A number of international players were on view, including the England captain Jenny Gunn who top-scored for Ransome, the eventual winners. There was some briskish bowling and the standard of fielding was very high – I was particularly impressed by the Ransome wicket keeper, Jane Smit, who stood up to all the bowling and would have been a very useful asset to any club side, male or female.
It was interesting to see how the voguish cricket fashions you so often complain about were there in the women’s game: Ms Smit, for example, is from the Nixon/Prior school of non-stop prattle; every ball, no matter how softly hit, had to be thrown back to the keeper; any ball hit past a fielder was recovered with the obligatory slide; and, of course, after all boundaries the batsmen (sic) punched gloves. Still it was a nice day and a pleasant couple of hours. I didn’t stay to the end but Ransome ran out as the eventual winners which, I learned, put to an end their five consecutive years as runners-up. The school, by the way, like so many others, didn’t play cricket.
Where’s The Academic Detachment?
Murray Hedgcock sent me these notes
I see the Professor has returned to his perceived mission in life i.e. to annoy your Antipodean Correspondent. This time, it is via an ironic study of the Saintly Shane’s thoughts of becoming German, to help him qualify fully for Hampshire - along with all those other non-Englanders who play in the “English” County Championship. Some, the Prof. will appreciate, appear to play for as little as a couple of weeks, such is the feverish turnover in imports. His rather condescending comment - “many Germans speak English very well” - puts it mildly. My wife, born and schooled in Niedersachsen, handles her adopted language so comfortably that she does not bother with the Daily Telegraph crossword, regarding it as too easy. She does The Times and The Guardian instead.
But rather than bite at the Prof’s bait, I shall content myself with recounting a pleasing story from cricketing history. As told in my sports column in The Australian - Australia’s national daily - the ambition from childhood of Francis Stewart was to captain his country at Lord’s. Growing up cricket-enthused in Sydney, and fed on a diet of the Ashes, he had seen this as the Holy Grail. And it duly came true on the morning of July 17, 1992, when he did indeed lead his country onto the sacred NW8 turf to engage in combat with the home team.
However - he was captaining not Australia, but Germany, where he had settled, and whose cricket was (and is) steadily advancing, thanks to a string of expats from the Sub-Continent and the Old Dominions. That was the match in which some bloke named Gary Lineker was dismissed for a solitary run, to comment: “I always get one against Germany”. The visitors could barely scrape a draw - but as Stewart summed up: “This was a dream come true”.
And finally…I note the Prof getting in the standard crack about Rupert Murdoch demonstrating that “changing nationality for pecuniary advantage is not regarded as a great impediment in that part of the world (Godzone Country)”. Whether the Prof. would similarly slight those oodles of worthy Brits motivated by much the same urge in emigrating to Oz, I know not. However, I should point out that Rupert Murdoch - for whom I have worked for nearly half a century – while no cricket buff, did present the Murdoch Cup for annual cricketing competition between The News in Adelaide and The Herald in Melbourne. He also most sportingly posted me to London in the Sixties, so that I could play, watch, talk and write cricket in this country. Can’t be all bad, surely?
Twenty20 Matters
The inaugural World Cup has been quite extraordinary and it will have a major impact on all levels of international cricket in the future. It was generally assumed that because this form of the game started in England they would have an advantage based on their experience. However, this ignores the reality that the English game grew in an environment of Bouncy Castles, Speed Dating tents and face painting.
In contrast this tournament has been deadly serious and the English tactics have looked naïve and irrelevant. England’s batsmen only scored two fifties and of these KP’s was against Zimbabwe. In fact KP’s international status as a premier batsman must have taken a serious knock since he failed to play a significant innings against Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and India. On each occasion the stage was set for him to lead the way and on each occasion he failed to step up. He has no track record of success in this form of the game. It is odd that everyone seems to think that he will have the temperament for it. He is miles behind Youvraj, Gambir, MacMillan and the newcomer Misbah-ul-Haq.
The tactic of medium pacers bowling slower balls also failed. Every time Collingwood bowled one of his armoury of slower balls the opposition slogged it out of sight. The extraordinary selection of Chris Schofield for this tournament was almost vindicated as some batsmen were baffled by his selection of old fashioned rinse. He served a cocktail of very slow long hops, full tosses and half volleys until Albie Morkel brought this nonsense to an end by taking eighteen off his last three balls and he wasn’t seen again. Jeremy Snape had two chances dropped from his only over in the competition and one wonders why he went at all. Freddie managed to bowl the crucial length consistently and was treated with respect. But of course he shouldn’t have been there and was never fit. At least they are not going to drag him to Sri Lanka on a stretcher or in a wheelchair.
England introduced the tactic of using their bowlers in one over spells. This may have been designed to accommodate Freddie’s anticipated periods of fitness but in other respects seemed to confuse the fielding side as much as the batters.
What has become clear is that not all games are high scoring and that you can win, except England, with a low score. However, explosive scoring is essential and this is fuelled by sixes. In the Super Eight games every match was won by the side that hit the most sixes. This is a fascinating statistic and England will have to learn from it. The tour de force, of course, came from Youvraj with his perfect over and this was serious modern cricket hitting. Since it has happened twice this year and Mascarenhas almost did it, it is likely to be attempted by more players in future and we can expect to see it achieved more regularly.
England’s poor showing extended to all facets of their game and their fielding never got above mediocre. Shah, Pietersen and Tremlett are poor fielders and apart from Collingwood nobody comes into the good category. All round the catching was mediocre. In contrast Pakistan who would be expected to be erratic, have looked razor sharp in the field with Afridi quite outstanding. His ability to hit the stumps from inside the ring is almost in the Ponting class. He has emerged as the top all rounder in this tournament, with interestingly his batting being the least used of the three skills.
It hasn’t impressed everyone, though. I received this from the Hampton headquarters of the Great Jack Morgan: “On Saturday, I needed two tellies to keep track of England’s World Cup efforts in France and GB’s Davis Cup campaign at Wimbledon, whilst using teletext to stay in touch with developments at the Oval and at Loftus Road. I gave no thought to happenings in South Africa.”
County Championship Matters
The County Championship has been a triumph this year despite the weather. After the mid season break and the rains abated there was much exciting cricket and the first division race went down to the wire. On the Tuesday morning of the first round of matches Lancashire despite a poor start to the season found themselves on top of the table. They would be champions if they beat Surrey at the Oval. Durham were the first to make a move when they completed victory over Kent at Canterbury on Friday and went to the top of the table. This lasted less than twenty four hours when Sussex, thanks once again to Mushtaq Ahmed, completed victory over Worcestershire to take over at the top.
Meanwhile at the Oval Mark Ramprakesh had taken two centuries off Lancashire to complete 2000 runs for the season and finish the season for the second consecutive season with an average in excess of 100. This left Lancashire to score 489 to win on the last day of the season. At 6.05pm they were 465-9 but then Dominic Cork was bowled to leave Sussex champions.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this report
I went to Uxbridge for the second eleven three-dayer v Glamorgan. There was considerable doubt about the Middlesex team on day one and no score-sheets were available, but there was no doubt about the emphatic second wicket stand of 287 between Dawid Malan (159) and Adam London (128), which enabled Middlesex to declare on 445 for 5. Malan was immediately whisked away to Bristol to act as 12th man for the first XI and London also took on a new role as he was required to deputise for Nash behind the sticks as the latter suffered yet another of his collapsing fits and took little part in the match. Morgan, Evans and Finn had been elevated to the first XI, Compton was absent for family reasons, Housego was away with England U-19s and Hutton and Johnson are both reported to have “retired”. Gareth Rees made 76 and Glam declared 88 behind, allowing Middlesex to set Glamorgan a reasonable 332 to win in 80 overs. Kabir Toor made 55 in the Middlesex second innings, but the star was Gareth Berg (104). Gareth had been slightly disappointing in his previous appearances, but this time he made amends by hitting an impressively powerful century in quick time and has apparently earned himself a contract for next season. He bowls capably and catches well and the latest story is that he is now qualified for England and would not, therefore, need to be signed as a Kolpak.
The Middlesex captains during the match appeared to be Nash (official captain), Emburey (oh yes, the Director was involved in this one), Peploe and Dalrymple, but whoever was responsible for the declaration, it seemed a slightly generous one to me. Only 332 were required in 80 overs on a very good track and a fast outfield. Initially, however, Glamorgan showed little interest in the target (opener R Evans made 42 in 51 overs), but when, belatedly, Middlesex brought on the spinners (when Dalrymple was in charge), not only did JWMD (5 wickets) and Peploe (3) have success, but so did the Glamorgan batters, led by Mike O’Shea (71) and the tail (no 9 Alex Jones and no 10 C Ashling put on a rapid 66 for the ninth wicket), who took Glam to 297-9, one wicket away from defeat, but only 35 runs away from victory. In the end, it was half a dozen dropped catches that cost Middlesex the win. It was an interesting final day that had looked as if it might have been a dull one. The Nash situation is so dire that there is no chance of his returning to the first team, so it is absolutely brilliant that Scotty has rediscovered his batting form.
Another double
After last season’s double relegation Middlesex completed an unlikely and unexpected double this season. Their second eleven won the Second Eleven Trophy and the first eleven won the Play Off match to gain promotion in the Pro40 competition. The following report was lifted from the Middlesex Newsletter:
In a heart-stopping finale, the Middlesex 2nd XI beat Somerset 2nd XI by one run to secure the Second Eleven Trophy, writes Richard Goatley. In the final over, Robbie Williams clean bowled Sutton with a fast yorker to decide a match that swung between the two sides throughout a frantic days cricket.
Middlesex looked in prime position to set an imposing target after a stand of 142 between Eoin Morgan and Billy Godleman took Middlesex to 148 for 1 but then a collapse against the spin of Suppiah left Middlesex feeling disappointed with a total of 198. The brilliance of the two Middlesex stars was not entirely clear until Somerset batted. The pitch was on its’ sixth day of play and had started to turn square and bounce erratically. Using the pitch well, the Middlesex seamers reduced Somerset to 64 for 4, with Robbie Williams picking up 2 early wickets and Chris Peploe bowling beautifully.
The lack of front-line spinners in the Middlesex side meant Somerset recovered to 160 for 6 however with Francis and Andrew promising to take the trophy to the West Country. A combination of fine bowling from Peploe and Steve Finn, together with some panicky running between the wickets meant a clatter of wickets fell, leaving Somerset 168 for 9. A brave last wicket partnership between Andrew and Sutton took Somerset to within an ace of the cup before Williams provided the winning delivery to the delight of a noisy Middlesex contingent.
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this: “ You no doubt heard that the 2s won the 2nd XI trophy at Taunton by 1 run (giving the club its first trophy since Gouldy’s two wins in the championship in ’99 and ’00), but you may not have heard that there was a ferocious debate between the scorers about the final scores. Apparently the scorers differed by an incredible 9 runs! How could this happen? All this comes from Jeff Coleman. After fine innings by Billy Godleman and Eoin Morgan, the Middlesex innings fell apart, but Robbie Williams took the final Somerset wicket with the first ball of the final over to give the club a welcome trophy (especially as I actually saw some of the earlier rounds). They were dancing in the streets of Middlesex!”
Match report
The following match took place between South Hampstead and Ealing at Milverton Road on Saturday 1 August 1964
This was a landmark match for my cricketing career as it was my first team debut for South Hampstead. Unfortunately I had not forced my way into the side through sheer weight of runs in the lower sides but was being blooded to give me experience and a taste of the real thing. Roy Phipps was not available for selection and I suspect that Bob Peach and Len Stubbs concluded that the side’s occasional bowlers were probably more likely to take wickets than any substitute for Roy from the second eleven. Hence they took the chance to give a first outing to a promising schoolboy. I recall that it was a pleasant sunny afternoon but can only remember isolated incidents of the action.
Ealing batted first. I can remember Alan Coxon pulling Bob Peach into the garden adjacent to the ground but not much else about the Ealing innings. However, when I called upon some of the other participants for their recollections I received this from Bob Fisher:
“It is a game that I remember very well, not I am afraid because it was your debut, but because in the dressing room after the game Messrs Fisher, Price, Mitchell, Lindley and Louison received a real rollicking from Ken Hinge, someone for whom we all had an enormous respect for, which made the ' roasting' very uncomfortable for us. The reason behind this was that we made a good start to our innings with Mark Brew and Brian Stevens putting on 58 for the first wicket before Mark was out bowled by Don Wallis for 18. Ken Hinge and Brian Stevens were also both bowled by Don, Stevens having made 54. Tony Mutter batting with Alan Coxon was run out before Brian Puddephatt joined Coxon. This was one of Puddys’ first ever games for the 1st team in his first season with the club. Whilst Coxon thrashed away at the other end before he was also bowled by Don for 36, Puddephatt blocked away at the other end and our innings completely lost its impetus. As a result, the cocky youngsters on the sideline, the aforementioned, but not Bert Louison who was nearing the end of his career, ignored our captain Mark Brew's advice to support Puddy and decided to play some shots. The result, Lindley lbw to Hart swinging across the line, Fisher and Louison bowled by Hart playing big shots and both Alan Price and Peter Mitchell stumped by Robin Agar yards down the pitch off the bowling of Bruce Tutton. Puddephatt was left stranded on 26 not out!
In reply to Ealing's total of 173, South Hampstead lost an early wicket, Peach caught Fisher bowled Lindley 4, but almost everybody else chipped in as our total was passed for the loss of six wickets. Terry Cordaroy made 33, Robin Ager 29, Len Stubbs 46. Alvin Nienow 54, John Weale made 0 with Tutton and Denley not out 4 and 1 respectively at the end. From our side Ken Hinge, Tony Mutter and Bert Louison are no longer with us. Whenever Ken's name comes up in conversation between Alan Price, John Lindley and me, we always seem to refer back to the game at South Hampstead. Hopefully, we all learnt a lesson that day that has stood us in good stead since.”
Well, this made the report more comprehensive than I had expected it to be. I also heard from Robin Ager “I have no recollection whatever, I'm afraid, Jim. This seems odd since, according to Bob Fisher's account, I made a couple of stumpings off Bruce - a pretty unusual occurrence. No doubt he will have a clear memory of the occasion. By the way, how was I out? Cheated, obviously, but what does the scorebook record? I was able to respond: “You hit six fours in your masterly 29 before being ridiculously given out caught Mutter bowled Louison.”
I had suggested in my round robin that Alan Coxon was a Cambridge Blue. Robin was kind enough to point out: “Alan Coxon was in fact an Oxford Blue, who always sported a Harlequins cap. As you've already observed, he was a clean striker of the ball, and also a very useful quickish left arm bowler. He was probably a cut above most Blues of that period, but I'm unaware if he hooked up with any county. I don't think he played all that regularly for Ealing, so it could be interpreted as a tribute to South Hampstead's reputation that he turned out in that game.”
Bob Fisher was able to flesh out this matter as well: “Robin's belief that Alan Coxon was not a regular in the Ealing side is somewhat wide of the mark. Alan joined Ealing in 1956 having just come down from University. He commenced working at Guinness and was introduced to our club by one of Ealing's legends, Eddie Ingram. Alan was a regular member of the club's first team for the next 10 seasons and was captain of the club from 1961 to 1963. During this period, he took 1144 wickets and made over 8000 runs. He did the double in 1959 and 1962. In 1965, the final season in this ten season spell he took 171 wickets. By this time he was bowling left arm spin with the occasional 'arm' ball thrown in. His work at Guinness took him off to Nigeria and he missed the seasons 1966-1969 but returned to the side in 1970 when he made over 500 runs and took over 50 wickets. He was an integral member of the side in that season who reached the final of The National Club Cup competition at Lords. 1970 was his final regular season at Ealing and he only played the odd game after that. Alan often used to recount his experience in the varsity game in either 1954 or 1955 when he was hit on the head by a bouncer from Cuan MacCarthy, the South African test bowler who had taken 4 wickets against England in an innings twice in the 1951 series. These were the days before helmets and Coxon's recall is that the ball struck him on the top of the head and whistled over the keeper standing some way back and flashed to the boundary for four leg byes. Alan who is now 77 lives in the West Country but he was at Ealing a couple of weeks ago for a luncheon reunion and appeared to be in very good nick.”
Bill Hart also contributed: “Of the Ealing XI listed in your original email, I have no reminiscence whatever of Brew (even though he was captain), Mutter or Louison. I remember all the others very well. Ken Hinge was at the end of his career, but Alvin Nienow had always rated him a very good player of fast bowling. John Lindley, Peter Mitchell (who caught me out wonderfully well, on the long-on boundary in the third Wills final at Hornsey), and Brian Puddephatt, played against us for many years. Alan Price was the best off-spinner we faced in my time at South Hampstead, and Bob Fisher was one of the best two or three wicket-keepers.
Turning to the two that you specifically asked about, Brian Stevens was a dangerous attacking opening bat, with a fine array of shots. However in my opinion, he was not comfortable with quick bowling at "middle & leg" and was inclined to give himself room in that area.
Alan Coxon was a very fine player indeed. He was, once set, a devastating hitter, somewhat after the style of Hayes of Finchley. He had the Indian sign on Roy Phipps saying that he was going to "lap" him and then doing it repeatedly. As a bowler he would open the bowling with brisk left arm seam, and then come back later with medium pace cutters, a la Derek Underwood. If there was anything in the wicket he could be very awkward indeed.”
Mushie Matters
Jim Revier sent me these notes on a trip to Hove
I followed your advice in the last edition and went to see Mushie on the 2nd day of what turned out to be a three day game between Sussex and Yorkshire. It was a lovely day and there was a very good crowd in. Sussex overnight were 386-5 with Hodd and R Martin-Jenkins both in the thirties. They progressed very comfortably to 410 before Martin-Jenkins was taken at slip off Hoggard for 49, his highest score of the season. Hodd impressed me with his innings although he did get bogged down in the eighties and nineties. Only to be expected, I guess, as this was his first County Championship ton. He received excellent support from Naved 46 and Saqlain 57*. Yorkshire's bowling was very ordinary. The locals were saying how good Rashid’s bowling had been on Day 1, but here he bowled too many 4 balls. I couldn’t understand why the Yorkies had snapped up Imran Tahir when they have young Lawson the staff, However, I had a bunch of the Professor’s men about ten rows behind me and so had the pleasure of hearing every word of their conversation and they were saying that Lawson has "Domestic Problems". They weren’t amused, though, because these problems didn’t prevent Lawson turning out for his club every Saturday. Perhaps the Prof knows more?
With Hodd’s dismissal for 123 Sussex declared on 597 - 8.The wicket looked a belter and Peg Leg and Gale moved serenely enough to 31 before Vaughan drove lavishly at Lewry and Yardy took a good catch high over his head in the gully. McGrath came in and he, too, looked comfortable before the whole complexion of the game changed with Mushie coming on. Yorks were mesmerised and we are talking here McGrath, Inzy, and Rudolph. Martin-Jenkins snaffled a couple and with Mushies’ four in the afternoon Yorkshire closed on 188-7, a beaten side and consequentially out of the Championship race. Only Gale 51 seemed to show any application.
On to wicket keepers - I haven't seen half of the Great Jack Morgan’s candidates but Hodd looked neat and kept well to Mushie. He can obviously bat and is very popular with the Hove crowd. Should Prior have a poor tour and finds himself back in county cricket it'll be interesting to see who Sussex give the gloves to. On the same subject GJM in the latest G & c said "Brophy’s batting keeps the excellent Simon Guy out of the Yorkshire side”. Well judging Brophy on one day is hard - but his keeping wasn’t good and he gave his wicket to R M-J for 0. I still would pick Read as he is the best keeper and then go for Jon Batty because he can bat anywhere.
And finally as I write this Surrey need about 175 to beat Warwickshire and preserve their Division 1 status. That they are in a position to do so and that they are in this Division in the first place is almost entirely due to Mark Ramprakash. God help Surrey when he packs in so I would advise your readers to bracket him with Mushie, Warney and co and go see him while you still can.
On the same subject the Great Jack Morgan added: “Generally, I have been very disappointed with Warney’s bowling in county cricket: he doesn’t seem to be able to lift his game for the medium sized occasion... but his batting has usually been terrific. Watching Mushtaq is great entertainment, but the irritating little pillock gets right up my nose by appealing noisily three or four times per over. It is even more important than usual to be behind the arm to appreciate these bowlers: huge turn, unspotted googlies, doosras, flippers, zooters, top spinners, back spinners (this is not possible) etc just cannot be appreciated from side on. Get behind the bowler’s arm and make your own decision on whether these deliveries exist or not. Unfortunately, I have not seen much of Murali from behind the arm and I am now unlikely to have that privilege I suppose... unless Lancs get relegated of course.”
The irritating little pillock in action
Professional Matters
Peter Ray offers some thoughts
As for professionalism, I believe that this noble word is grossly abused these days. To be a true professional, you play a sport at such a level of skill that cheating and unseemly behaviour is unnecessary and inappropriate. You are mindful also that your rewards come from the paying public, both in the ground and watching on TV. Fourteen overs to the hour represents a grave fraud upon that public. It was a rate which was deplored when Clive Lloyd's West Indians used it as a tool to ensure if not the usual victory, then to minimize the risk of defeat. Now it has become the shameful norm rendered even more shameful to those of us who remember people like Brian Close, Barrington and Boycott being criticised - or removed from captaincy - for over rates far nearer to twenty per hour.
It also implied the ability, as a bowler, not only to pitch on the cut strip, but to predict with absolute certainty which side of the cut strip it would pitch on. Had we ever said that one day such a thing could be seen at a Test match venue as an opening bowler directing the ball at third slip or its equivalent on the legside, men in white coats (with no knowledge, other than incidental, of umpiring) would have been summoned.
I could point to many other shortcomings but it is making me depressed to think about them. My view is that these days we have highly paid cricketers, not professionals. The great Jack Robertson was a professional. Someone like Harry Sharp had more professionalism in his little finger than many of the present crew and would nowadays be snapped up just for his ability to bowl off spin, let alone his batting. I always hoped to avoid saying that it was better in my/our/their day but the plain and unavoidable fact is that it was. And the more one hears the inane rigmarole spouted by brainless idiots like Prior - someone who might have struggled to get in a few good club sides I have seen over the years - and sees the complete lack of proper cricketing manners displayed by those who should serve as role models for the young, the more I become convinced of it. O mores! O tempores! Which quotation only goes to demonstrate, I suppose, that things have always been getting worse.
Football Matters
Andrew Baker’s Ladies Team has started the season well but he is concerned that they may not be tough enough to last the season. George offered to help him out by providing the legendary Vinny/Gazza photo to pin up on the dressing room wall to inspire them.
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