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GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN

An Occasional Cricketing Journal

    Edition 77    

May 2009

Caption Competition

 



  1. Andy Flower: If this is the best job in English cricket why don’t I feel better about it?
  1. Duncan Fletcher: I don’t want you to feel paranoid Andy, but deep down they hate us Zimbabweans, so watch your back.
  1. Andy Flower: Matt Prior? I could keep better than him one handed and I wasn’t that good anyway.
  1. Andy Flower: Well we are only going to pick players from Division One of the County Championship. Hang on a minute; forget that, it would mean we couldn’t pick my mates from Essex.
  1. Andy Flower: Will you be fit for Sofia Gardens, Freddie?
Freddie Flintoff: Don’t worry, count me in.

Geoff Miller: We’ve heard that before.

April in St John’s Wood

 

The unseasonably prolonged warm weather in April prompted me to extend a short business trip to London by a day to catch up with the Great Jack Morgan in the Compton stand for the second day of the Glamorgan match. Unused to London traffic I arrived a good forty five minutes late but just in time to see the Welsh Wizard play an immaculate forward defensive shot to Murtagh only to lose his off stump. This caused appropriate mirth amongst Jack’s colleagues, Jim Revier and Dave Perrin, who were already in attendance. Arthur Gates had also been present for the first day and I am delighted to report that he continues to recover from his illness and surgery. Eric Tracey joined the group before lunch and he raised the sartorial elegance a few notches in his bow tie and chalk stripe suit. Mind you that is not difficult to achieve this alongside the naked Morgan/Revier cousins.

David Harrison joined Mark Wallace at the crease and we were expecting Middlesex to wrap up the tail and have a few overs to negotiate before lunch. That is those who hadn’t seen Danny Evans bowl before were. He came on at the pavilion end and proceeded to spray it around at a gently hittable pace. Neither batsman played fluently but more significantly neither looked likely to get out. In one strange period of five overs it seemed ever likely that Middlesex were going to have to post a long stop, since had there been one he would have picked up three comfortable catches.

The hundred partnership came up after lunch and apart from a jackhammer being employed behind the Grandstand apparently to annoy the crowd, by far the most noise was being generated from the Glamorgan balcony. Berg looked the most likely of the bowlers to take a wicket and beat the bat several times but his breakthrough came when Harrison pulled a shorter delivery tamely to mid on where Udal did his best to shell it. The skipper then did wrap up the tail with the final wicket falling to the only attempt at a big hit in the three hours play. Shantry slogged to mid off where Richardson completely misjudged the trajectory and ended up taking an unlikely but splendid catch over his head back peddling fast.

All eyes were then on Phil Hughes, the new record breaking Australian prodigy, and he didn’t disappoint. Anything which strayed wide of off stump or varied from length was clobbered through the covers off front or back foot. The only bowler to cause him any problems was the Welsh Wizard who becalmed him, relatively. Hughes did still manage to play some exquisite cuts from off stump when Croft dropped slightly short. He reached his hundred in the final over to his and the spectators delight. England will be more concerned as to how quickly he has adapted to our conditions. For the record he scored most of his runs on the off side. Maybe he didn’t bother with the leg side on this occasion and he certainly wouldn’t let himself be tempted to hook. It’s hard to see any of the England bowlers, particularly without Flintoff, having the necessary discipline to keep him quiet outside the off stump.

On Wednesday Mark Cosgrove had scored a hundred for Glamorgan and when the side took the field it looked as if they had included a circus entertainer to keep Crofty amused. This guy puts the miscellaneous lardarses referred to in these columns into the shade. At the drinks intervals they presumably bring him out a couple of pork pies. Samit Patel needs to re-align his allegiances, become a New Zealander, like Jesse Ryder, and move to Glamorgan. These teams both appreciate the larger man and are prepared to give him space (sic) to show their talents.

All in all it was a delightful way to start the season in the Lords sunshine. Will it last? The last time we had hot weather in April was 2007 and this proved to be the prelude to the first of two cool and very wet summers.

Out and About with the Professor

I had been looking forward to the first game at Headingley for some time.

I went to a function there in the winter and saw the outfield had been completely removed and various pipes, diggers and whatnot were putting in a new “fast drainage” system, which it was hoped would emulate Lords. At the same time the slope on the ground was being reduced by taking two feet off the Kirkstall Lane End. This has had the added advantage that the capacity of the North Terrace has been increased, somewhat unusually, by adding a couple of rows of seats at the bottom of the stands.

The other new addition to the ground is a pair of brightly coloured tower cranes. These monstrous green gantries spent all day moving lazily back and forth in their task of building the new “Carnegie Pavilion”. This is also at the Kirkstall Lane End and promises, according to the Yorkshire Cricket Magazine, “state of the art playing and media facilities and will be the most viewed building in Yorkshire”. Even allowing for some parochial enthusiasm, this last claim seems a little overdone. Having seen an “artist’s impression” it is clear that the building will not be quite as hideous as those planned for Old Trafford but is still a product of the B&Q school of architecture. I sense that York Minster has nothing to fear.

And so to the game.

The new fast draining system being in place it was, of course, no surprise that the start was delayed by overnight rain. Puddles on the run-ups prevented play before lunch. When we did get underway, Worcester opened up with their two aging Aussies, who kept things quiet for a while until Michael Vaughan stroked Noffke through extra-cover for a shot, better-than-which-it-is-impossible-to-play. Just to remind us that this is the new Michael Vaughan not the old one, he feathered the next ball through to Davies. And that, as far as Worcester were concerned, was just about that. For the next three hours Rudolph and McGrath put on a couple of hundred runs at a fairly steady rate. It was “fairly steady” because the other characteristic of the new fast draining turf (apart from it not draining fast) is that was very, very slow. You really had to bludgeon the ball to get it over the rope. Fortunately, in the person of Anthony McGrath, Yorkshire have one of the finest bludgeoners on the circuit. He was especially severe on the Worcester change bowler Imran Arif who thought it was a good idea to bowl sharpish long-hops to McGrath and half-volleys to Rudolph. The contrasting broadsword and rapier styles made excellent viewing for all concerned including the chaps who were supposed to be building the new pavilion.

Given the dreadful weather forecast for tomorrow (and the aforementioned characteristics of the new outfield) we were probably just playing for batting points in this match (4 so far), and I see that this is a system criticised by Neville Scott in an otherwise excellent piece in this year’s Wisden.

It is also very difficult to deduce much from a one-sided day’s play. Worcester didn’t look much of a side but they were several players short. Davies was tidy enough behind the stumps (to continue the great wicket-keeping debate) but had very little to do. Rudolph, circumspect for the first hour, then produced a wonderful array of shots, especially down the ground…but we know he can do that. If Yorkshire hold on to Bresnan, Hoggard and Rashid, they might not be a bad bet for the title.

…provided the outfield isn’t waterlogged. 

Middlesex Matters

The Great Jack Morgan is concerned about Middlesex’ playing squad and in particular it’s bowling

My estimate that Middlesex had lost five players was wrong because I forgot that Dave Burton had been released. My comment should have been that four of the six players who left were bowlers and that neither of the replacements is a bowler. DB was needed for three first team matches last season and with fewer bowlers on the staff this year, he would surely have got more opportunities. It is a big worry who is going to fill the inevitable gaps. I am not completely convinced that Burt would have made it as a first team bowler, but you must have someone in reserve... and who have we got? If you stretch a point, we have eight pace bowlers (Berg, Evans, Finn, Henderson, Murtagh, Richardson, Silverwood and Williams), which sounds quite a lot doesn't it? But take into account these facts i) Gareth is a bits and pieces medium pacer; ii) Danny and Steve are still total greenhorns; iii) Robbie is even less experienced and was so badly injured last season that he did not play a single game for the club; iv) the Blacksmith has never played a first class match for the club and is anyway in SA at present; v) Murts played a full season last year, but it was the only season in his career so far that did not include significant injury; and vi) Richo and Silvers are good bowlers, but are veterans and are experiencing the sort of injury problems that veterans often suffer: indeed, Richo is already injured this year and the season has not even started. Now the eight does not look so many does it? And now I hear that Finny has pulled out of the MCC team to face Durham because of injury! We might have to call up Arthur Gates and Mick Jordan.

We are not overloaded with spinners either. In fact we have two front line spinners and only one of those is available in April and May: who will spin if Shaun gets injured early on? We cannot even call on Owais, who is also in SA. Dawid Malan (7 career wickets) will be our leading spinner. The other "spinners" we have are Nash (2 wickets), Compton (1), Godleman (0), Housego (0), Kabir Toor (0), London (0) and Robson (0). Ravi Patel is not on the staff, but he might be the best bet.

Colville Matters

King Cricket circulates a daily email. I thought that readers might like this one:

 

Charles Colville is that nitpicking kind of sports follower who finds fault with everything and believes that minor details decide matches. He’s also a reactionary numbnuts. Colville is Sky’s second string presenter. He gets the highlights shows and the non-England matches. He’s a public schoolboy with a bizarrely creased brow which is impossible to take your eyes off. They’re permanent wrinkles that derive from near-constant scowling, which pretty much sums up the man. Today’s update was inspired by a comment left by Miriam yesterday describing how Colville had made a reference to England’s World Cup winners bringing the trophy back in a handbag, which pretty much sums up the man. Everyone warrants a place on the internet where their inadequacies can be documented. For Colville, this is that page.

Tyke Matters

I have always thought that it was only a matter of time before I heard from Eric Stephens and he has at last duly obliged

As probably your only correspondent who has spent thirty years in God’s County and thirty years ‘down South’ (which I thoroughly enjoyed) I feel I can offer a balanced view. I have also been working on my pomposity so that my writings tone in with most of your other correspondents.

On April 8th I attended the Pre-Season Yorkshire lunch when the Guests of Honour were the 1959 Team. I believe this is the only season when Middlesex supporters were cheering on the Tykes to stuff Surrey, after their seven seasons of dominance. Co-incidentally seven of our glorious team were able to sit on a table with yours truly. Elsewhere Messrs. Stott, Sharpe, Illingworth and Close were also in attendance. Sadly the best wicket-keeper of the period now lives in California and considered this adequate excuse for non-attendance. Also absent were Ronnie Burnett (captain), Vic Wilson (senior professional), and Fred Trueman for a more obvious and sad reason.



Seated: Don Wilson wearing the yellow collaret of President of the Past Players Association, Eric Stephens picking his nose, Dickie Bird, Doug Padgett, Bob Platt, Brian Bolus, Mel Ryan. The empty chair at the forefront was occupied by Ken Taylor, who had temporarily excused himself when the picture was taken.

Standing: Martyn Moxon (Director of Cricket) and Kevin Sharp (Head Batting Coach).

The gentleman with his back to the camera between Bolus and Ryan is Dave Callaghan. Bob Platt normally smokes a pipe which makes the late Fred’s seem minimal and has to have his nicotine stick.

It was interesting to hear the old team banter with each other:

WILSON: ay, an’ you batsmen got bowled out for 35 at Gloucester

PADGETT: an’ we batted well on that wicket

BOLUS: an’ I top scored (he got 12)

PLATT: never mind that. Did I ever mention my 57 not out that season? (his aggregate for the season in 27 innings was 123)

WILSON: that’s all thy ever mentions. Dickie tell us about thee 181 not out

PLATT: and how many times were thee dropped?

BIRD: just once an’ it were rate difficult. An’ later that day that bugger Sellars dropped me to’t 2nd team for’t next match

RYAN: we were t’best fieldin’ side around. We ‘ad to put Sharpey at slip cos’ he couldn’t field properly………

And so it went on. Wonderful.

After the lunch Close, Illingworth and Stott were interviewed by Dave Callaghan (Yorkshire’s ball-by-ball commentator on the web for all matches). Clearly Closey had enjoyed the wine and he lambasted the team spirit of the mid-fifties. ‘When that was sorted out, we wun’t championship’. It was sorted out by sacking four internationals at the end of 1958, including Bob Appleyard. My final memory of the afternoon as we were leaving was of an angry Appleyard demanding to know where Close was, so he could explain the facts of life to him about the team spirit comments. The outcome is not known….at least publicly.

Ashes Matters

 

The Ashes will be upon us in no time even though we have to go through the battle of the minnows against the West Indies and endless Twenty20 crap first. England have demonstrated that they are not taking it as seriously as the Aussies. Ponting decided not to play in the IPL whilst KP and Freddie couldn’t ignore the Bollywood Shilling. Freddie is now back under the knife. It is unlikely that he will be match fit by the time it all starts and will certainly not have form to warrant selection. The chances are selection will revolve around whether he will or will not play. When he does play he will probably break down again.

All of this is bad news. Flintoff gives the side an extra dimension and opens the door to them picking a proper wicket keeper. If he doesn’t play the only way they can pick five bowlers is to bat the wicket keeper at six. This means that they would persevere with Prior. This would be disastrous because he leaks far more runs in the field than he ever scores with the bat. The bowlers are likely to be Anderson, Broad, Harmison and Panesar. There is nothing the Aussies would like more than for England to pick Swann, an orthodox off spinner with no doozra. They would milk him all day. Panesar will be targeted and will not last the series particularly as there will be no outrageously awful Old Trafford track for him to bowl on. I would still favour including the experienced Hoggard. I would also like to see Rashid in the side. I saw him and Somerset’s Munday, both leg spinners, bowl at Old Trafford last year and there is no doubt that the presence of a googly has an unsettling effect on the batsmen and often enables the bowler to get away with poor deliveries.

Australia have included the errant Symonds in their side against Pakistan in Dubai. He would walk into the England side at anytime over the last ten years but is still not a certain pick for Australia. He can bat at six and bowl in either spin or seam styles as required. He is also an exceptional fielder. Lee is reportedly back in training after injury and so the desired experience in their attack is shaping up since Stuart Clark is also back from injury. Mitchell Johnson is an automatic choice on current form both with the ball and the bat. This leaves one bowling place which I think will be occupied by a quick, perhaps Siddle or Hilfenhaus. I don’t think that they will risk an inexperienced spinner. They will rely on Katich, Clarke and Symonds for the necessary overs.

At the top of the order Phil Hughes has already shown that English conditions will not be a problem for him. Katich, Ponting, Michael Clarke and Michael Hussey are all familiar with English conditions.

The Great Jack Morgan was puzzled by selections for the performance squad

 

I have no objection to Sajid's selection in the performance squad, I just wonder why he has been preferred to other recent candidates like M Davies, Hoggard, Plunkett, Tremlett and even Pattinson, whom he does not appear to have out-performed. On the Lions tour, for example, the WC awarded 9 marks out of ten to Mark Davies, but only 7 to Sajid and Liam. Others to be disappointed will be Batty and S Davies, who were both in the squad in WI and Scott, who is better than the three keepers selected (but who presumably is not yet regarded as sufficiently proficient with the willow). But it doesn't matter a toss does it? I think I may have argued before that the performance squad is pointless because they don’t have to stick to this squad of 25... I don't think Darren Pattinson was in last year's performance squad was he? And why announce the squad before the coach has been appointed? Hoggy is apparently distraught at his omission and sees it as the end of his international career, but I think he may be unnecessarily pessimistic because we have not yet had a squad that reflects the views of Strauss and Flower.

KP Matters

Charlie Puckett is keeping the topic alive no doubt hoping to prompt Lord Ray to re-enter the fray

 

My latest edition of Der Sturmer arrived this morning - you might know it as Wisden Cricketer On-line - and it contained the following direct quote from the Great Man:

“Never mind the talk of wanting to go home, the following was the real highlight of Kevin Pietersen’s controversial interview in the Daily Mail:

"It's brilliant what happened to Samit Patel." He later added: "Being unfit and fat and lazy means you don't really care and you are in a comfort zone." Another team-mate won over.

South Hampstead Matters

Following last month’s photograph of a sixties South Hampstead tour party I was delighted to have communications from Roy Dodson, John Weale and Wally Barratt. They all chastised me for my lack of knowledge and in Wally’s case for not recognising him in the picture! So between Dickie Brookes and Bob Cleaver are Peter Wright and Wally Barratt. This means that Brian Shadwell is not in the picture and consequently neither is his wife, Jean.

Now to the other end of the photo. The Brooman is Hubert and Lady B (seated) is Marion Morrish. Lady A is Daphne Blampied. So that just leaves unidentified the chap between Terry Cordaroy and Dickie Brookes. Someone out there knows who he is.

I also have from Carole Perham a photo of the side leaving the field during one of the matches on that tour:



This is my attempt at identification:

?,Terry Cordaroy, Harry Collins, Colin Newcombe, David Mindell, Wally Barratt, Bob Cleaver, Basil Wright, Colin Ezer, Jack Singman and Laurie Israel.

Bush Matters

The Great Jack Morgan, of course, knew why Bob Talbot was only leading out eight players in the photo in the last edition:

“Why were there only nine? Allan Keates was still getting treatment from the physio, while John Allport got lost on the way to the ground!”

Jim Revier suggested that the other two were obscured by Keith Wetherall.....

 

Trainspotter Matters

The Professor forwarded to me the following email with the comment “beyond parody”. It had been forwarded to him by Douglas Miller who observed: “I thought the e-mail below would confirm all your worst fears about the nature of our Association.” The author is Pelham Barton.

“The partnership of 271 between Ross Taylor and Jesse Ryder, recovering from 23 for 3, is a new Test record 4th wicket partnership conditional on the 3rd wicket falling at a score below 39. On the relevant "leading edge" it displaces the 267 added (from 27-3) by Clyde Walcott and Gerry Gomez at Delhi in November 1948. Coincidentally, the fourth wicket fell at 294 in each case. This is the second successive Test in which Jesse Ryder has added his name to one of these leading edges, after he and Daniel Vettori shared in a record recovery from 60-6 in the previous Test (as Gopal pointed out onthis list). Bill Ponsford and Don Bradman's partnership of 388, starting at a score of 39-3 at Headingley in 1948, is the highest 4th wicket stand starting at a score below 102, and there are three higher partnerships on the leading edge. I have not looked at partnerships starting at scores below 23.”

The Professor sent me a photo of Douglas which I am pleased to include as a special treat for those who enjoy photos of men in shorts.



 

Roger Pearman

 

Roger Pearman died in April. I first encountered Roger when I went to the third day of a county championship match at Lords in 1962. Before the third day only two hours play had been possible and Middlesex were sent 196 to get the points for first innings lead which was all that there was left to play for. He came in at 49 for 3 and was still there on 72 not out when Middlesex reached 196 for 8 off the last ball of the match.



 

Roger Pearman in 1968

The following year I joined South Hampstead CC and soon found that Roger’s club, Hornsey, were arch rivals. Over the following seasons I played regularly against Roger and he always seemed to score runs. He was one of those batsmen who accumulated without flamboyance and invariably scored quicker that you thought. He and Terry Cordaroy were the outstanding batsmen, at least in terms of aggregates of runs scored, on the London circuit in the late sixties and it was a privilege to have played in the same side as one and against the other frequently.

I will be happy to publish any recollections or tributes other readers may have.

 

Pickering Matters

Robin Ager sent me the following

 

A few months ago, Googlies included some tributes to Tony Pickering.   I now bring news of his elder brother John, also a Dane, I believe, whom my own brother, Michael, recently played bowls against in North Devon.

As I recall from watching him playing for Turnham Green a year or two before I joined in 1957, John was a pretty useful left-handed all-rounder.   He moved out to Maidenhead & Bray, but I don't recall playing against him, and have no idea if he fulfilled his potential.   According to Michael, John said his adult sporting interests were hockey and rugby - as well, one assumes, as cricket.   Incidentally, his father, Len, formed a very good opening partnership for the Green with Don Marchant, father of the Bush's Graham.   What an enclosed world we inhabited.

Old Danes Gathering

 

The Old Danes Gathering will take place this year on Friday 31st July at Shepherds Bush CC from 2pm. All Old Danes and friends will be welcome. I am circulating a list of attendees and apologies on a regular basis. If you are planning to attend please advise me accordingly and I will add you to it. The Gathering will run on into the evening and so those who are only able to come after work can be accommodated.

Football Matters

 

Andrew Baker tells me that his Ladies Soccer team is having an historic season and could well achieve a league and cup double. Here they are seen celebrating victory in the semi final of the cup competition.






Googlies and Chinamen

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High Peak

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Tel & fax: 01298 70237

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