G&C 204
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 204
December 2019
Out & About with the Professor
I have comparatively few difficult decisions to make these days but the back end of November has presented me with one – whether to go to bed at midnight. Midnight is, of course, otherwise known as Lunchtime, and I have had nine days of dilemma so far. It’s not just that 12.40am is quite late to still be watching TV (for me at least), it is also the fact that 40 minutes drivel from the Sky “pundits” has to be endured before play resumes.
When I have mentioned this to friends, in addition to looking at me as if I were more than a touch eccentric (quite), they normally say something along the lines of: “Why bother at all? They’re useless”. My stock answer to this is that if you only watched England away Tests when they performed very well , you would be watching very little cricket; and anyway, it is always interesting to see how the side is coming together with new players, etc. From what I have seen so far, there is very little evidence of the side coming together and rather more of it falling apart. We all know about the opening bat problem and the middle order problem and, of course, the spin bowler problem, but I think we can now add to that: the opening bowler problem and, amazingly, even the wicket keeper problem. Doesn’t leave a whole lot left does it?
Presumably the second Test will be drawn – if not by the weather then by the Williamson – and we will lose 1-0. Not an Earth-shattering event and in any case it is a long time since we have won in New Zealand. But the series (if two matches can support that description) seems to have asked more questions than have been answered.
To begin with the batting, Burns seems to have continued his somewhat charmed life at the crease and a second hundred must secure his place for a while. Sibley, by contrast, looked, in the first Test, almost unable to score on the off side. It was hardly any surprise when he was out caught in the slips (or “nicking off” as we are now supposed to say) in the first innings and behind in the second. How can someone who has scored 1,300 Championship runs last season look so vulnerable? Nerves? Pope got out to a dreadful shot in the first innings as well, although I guess his 75 in this Test has helped secure a longer run in the side. Crawley only had half a dozen balls and while he does indeed ooze elegance, an elegant 1 is not much use.
Archer looked to be the answer to the opening bowling problem since he can bowl at 150 kph. The problem is that he doesn’t often choose to do so. Why not? Surely if you can bowl at that speed you would want to do so. Not every ball, not every day, but in general -isn’t that what fast bowlers like to do…as in the word “fast”? In the first Test he bowled 42 overs for 1 wicket and to date he has bowled 35 overs for one more. Not exactly devastating stuff. Also I didn’t think Leach was too tidy in the first match; for someone who is supposed to give the captain control, 47 overs for 153 is not that miserly.
And then, and then, there is the wicket-keeper issue. Surely this can’t be a problem. We are used to seeing England take the field with a handful of ‘keepers. Give the gloves to any one of five. When I first saw this team I thought they had forgotten to pick one. In the event, and with the absence of a spinner, Pope did OK…but is that intended to be a long term solution? Presumably not, and Buttler will come back in South Africa. But it does seem very odd to select a side without a full-time ‘keeper.
The big plus has been Root’s runs (in addition to Burns’ and Denley’s). Stokes we all know about and Broad has looked OK for an old ‘un. So, lots to think about…and not just when to go to bed. After Christmas, the fact that South Africa have the good sense to play in the same (or nearly) time zone will remove the bedtime dilemma but I rather fancy I have sorted that already by buying tickets for a couple of the Tests. By that time perhaps the England side will be more settled…then again.
This & That
In the fourth T20 Eoin Morgan and Dawid Malan put on 182. The pair’s first 50-run stand was brought up in 17 minutes. Their partnership reached the 100-run mark in 37 minutes. Morgan had scored England’s fastest ever T20I fifty in 21 deliveries, one quicker than Jos Buttler’s previous record. Malan had reached England’s fastest T20I hundred; he finished unbeaten on 103 from 51 balls. Their partnership was the highest for the third-wicket in T20I history. There were 85 runs in the final five overs, 153 in the last ten. 243 was England’s biggest total in T20I history.
In ten T20I innings, Malan has made 78, 50, 10, 59, 53, 11, 39, 55 and 103. Six fifties. No other player in the format’s history has begun with more than four in their first ten knocks.
The best job in the Premiership must be the bloke who comes on for Mezut Ozil when he inevitably gets substituted. Since Ozil plays in no position, contributes little and struggles with the pace of the game his replacement can’t help but have a positive impact.
Charlie Austin has turned up at West Brom. He now has blonde hair.
I have taken to watching Goals on Sunday as it avoids staying up late on Saturday and subjecting myself to the self smuggery of Linnekar and his chums. Goals on Sunday is worth watching for Alex Scott if nothing else but their guests recently were the Burnley strike pair Chris Wood and Ashley Barnes. Wood looks like an extra from an east end gangster movie but turns out to be a New Zealander who spoke pretty well. Unlike his partner, Barnes, who used “obviously” repeatedly in every sentence. After a while his club manager, Sean Dyche, texted the programme and told him to stop saying it. This just made matters worse and Barnes was reduced to using the word more and more. It by then had become contagious and Kamara, Scott and Wood all began to use it liberally in their sentences. This created a giggling scenario and the producer must have been pleased when the show had finally run its course.
The Pakistanis must be sick of the sight of Warner and Labuschagne. In the first test Warner added 222 for the first wicket with Joe Burns before falling at 351 for 154. His partner in the second wicket stand was Marcus Labuschagne who went on to 185. In the second test Burns fell early and Warner and Labuschagne then added 361 before Labuschagne fell for 162. Warner went on to 335 not out. Tim Payne opted not to give him a crack at Lara’s 400.
I am an old fashioned chappie who believes that the umpires make the decisions in cricket and the referees make the decisions in football. In fact in the vast majority of matches played this is still applied. However, because of the impact of television off field officials now make many of the crucial decisions. In cricket it is not automatic and the players determine whether or not to go for a second opinion. In soccer VAR has been shambolic with the natural flow of the game being interrupted by protracted consideration and many nonsensical interpretations of laws. It won’t go away but needs significant improvement.
Another soccer problem looming is the heading issue. In seems inconceivable but heading is already being banned in some school scenarios. Will players have to go underground to learn this critical aspect of the game? It may also mean the ball has to be played on the ground only to avoid inadvertent heading. This may seem nonsensical but there are pressure groups which will not rest until they ruin the game.
Many attribute Manchester City’s dramatic decline in fortunes this season to poor defending and there is no doubt that this has played its part but the real issue is the low conversion rate of chances created. Aguero, Jesus and Sterling & co could have doubled their tally already if they had scored on any acceptable conversion rate and had they done so City could be giving Liverpool a run for their money.
Morgan Matters
The G tells us that "QPR are disgusted at Fifa and Uefa's response to a racist incident" and have accused them of “brushing racism under the carpet" following an incident that prompted their under 18 team to abandon a match in Spain in August.
In an interview in the Cricketer, D Malan was asked "there are reports that you are considering a move" and he replied "I have been at Middlesex for 14 years and have 2 years left on my contract".
D Malan has joined Yorkshire on a four year deal: re-election here we come!
By the way, my total of cricket days this year was 26, the lowest since records began and 3 worse than last year... but not as low as next year's will be!
A Martin has a longish piece on Dawid in today's G in which DM reveals that he spent most of the summer "banging his head against a wall" due to a breakdown in communications with coach Stuart Law.
P Handscomb has signed on as Middlesex captain of the Championship and 50 over Cup sides for the next 2 years.
I have just received an email from Middlesex Chairman M O'Farrell, apologising for not sending me my free vouchers for last season and telling me that I will get a whopping 4 for next season! He also says that (though this is awaiting confirmation) we will get as many "days of cricket at Lord's next season in spite of the hundred". Sound good, but I will await the confirmation at the end of November before opening the champers!
There's a nice article on Peter Reid in today's O, the highlight of which was PR telling Boris J that he was a "fat, lying twat and a disgrace for what he wrote about my city".
Somerset have been handed a 12 point deduction for next season's CC after being found guilty of breaching pitch regulations for their match against Essex at Taunton in September. The full punishment was a 24 point deduction, with 12 points suspended.
The Cricketer has this item (though this is, of course not the only item) in its monthly column on Middlesex: “young allrounder Luke Hollman has also signed a two year deal. The England U-19 leg-spinner played a key role in North Middx winning the Middlesex Premier League and was named as the league’s best player for a second successive year”.
Tauranga: NZ won by an innings and 65. The only words of wisdom that I can find uttered by C Silverwood were "it is a flat pitch, but not a flat showing in the slightest" which is absolute nonsense, of course, it was definitely a flat showing, but why was it so flat when the pitch was so flat? I look forward to more of Silverwood's words of wisdom.
There is a nonsense fuss going on in NZ because some idiot has called J Archer a black something or other! Has he not ever heard such racist crap before? This all sounds like the proverbial teacup storm to me: get over it Jofra mate and concentrate on your own game, like thousands of other black men have done before you. Jonathan Liew in the G seems to agree with Jofra and says that "cricket has a racism problem" just because there is one racist idiot in northern parts of North Island! In fact, I have been encouraged in recent times by how few racist idiots there are at cricket these days, though I do not get around the world (or even Britain) as much as I used to.
I was very disappointed that all the RLODC games are at Radlett next year.
T Murtagh has retired from international cricket, has signed a new 2-year contract with Middlesex and will play in all formats.
Gary Wilson has stepped down from skippering the Ire T20 side so A Balbirnie will now captain in all 3 formats.
County Championship Matters
Huw Turberville writes
When Eoin Morgan said “over the next few years, one of the formats will miss out – we can’t play with four formats”, he was probably right. He was just wrong to infer it would be the Blast. That is the only conclusion to be drawn from the draft schedule for 2020, seen by The Cricketer. With 11 matches out of 14 set to be played at the bookends of the season, it is the County Championship that is imperilled. It will no longer be – to use a phrase favoured by former Home Secretary John Reid – fit for purpose.Frankly, what will be the point of it?
Yes, yes, I know several hundred to a thousand or two fans attend the matches. And thousands more like me follow the scores online through the day. But one of its fundamental purposes – to identify and prepare players for Test duty – will effectively be nullified. The schedule – sent to county CEOs – sees three Championship matches in April and four in May. Then the Vitality Blast enjoys a run (May 28-June 7). A Championship match pops up in mid-June. Then more Blast matches (June 19-26). Then two four-day windows (starting June 28 and July 5). The Hundred is poised to start on July 17, the ‘development’ 50-over tournament commencing a day later. The Blast quarter-finals are from August 18-21, then it is two Championship windows (August 23 and 29).
Blast Finals Day could be on September 5 (with a reserve day). Then two Championship windows (September 8 and 14). The 50-over final to be on September 19 (with a reserve day). And finally two Championship matches (September 21 and September 27 – going into the last day of the month)... later than ever before.
Rumour reaches us that this is the precursor to an announcement that two Championship matches will be culled come 2021, to 12 per side. Which presumably means teams in both Divisions One and Two will not play each other home and away (this is already the case in the top flight next summer). How much longer will it be before the magic number of 10 is reached – in line with the Sheffield Shield?Of course all these matches in the spring and late summer/autumn will not be conducive to producing Test cricketers – unless Faf du Plessis is right that the World Test Championship is likely to result in more result pitches.
Success in the County Championship will still signify character and combativeness – somebody like Dominic Sibley last summer, who can rise above the elements – but conditions will bear no resemblance to those of a Test match – in England, with three Tests pencilled in for June and three for August – and especially at venues like Brisbane, Colombo and New Delhi.
How has this occurred?
There was a clue at the House of Commons, when the ECB delegation were questioned by the Department for Culture, Media and Sport. “Next year, from 2020 onwards, the schedule has been put together by the stakeholders, the counties,” ECB chairman Colin Graves told MPs. “They got together between them; we didn’t impose anything on them.” So there you go... it looks as if the counties chose to have their Blast matches, not Championship, in mid-summer. And you can see why: T20 makes big money, the four-day game does not.
The ECB have to tread carefully with the counties. There was a cold war about The Hundred. Now it’s détente. But really shouldn’t the ECB be telling the counties to schedule the Championship better? After all, the Test game is still important to them. It still makes them big money. I am guessing Test cricket makes up about £700m of the £1.1bn television deal from 2020-24.
Maybe this is where the new Professional Game Board comes in – to make decisions for the good of English cricket, not the bank balance.
A new legend seems to fear for Test cricket’s future on a weekly basis. Greg Chappell believes there may only be four or five major countries playing it soon. “It's another reason why I think 50-over cricket needs to be supported and given a rethink,” he says, “because 50-over cricket could well become the Test cricket of the future for a lot of cricket-playing countries.”Ashley Giles, the managing director of England men’s cricket, suggests a solution: play some Championship matches rather than 50-over alongside The Hundred.
Yes, 96 domestic players will be away in the ECB’s new competition, but that still leaves a lot of cricketers to enjoy good conditions, at outgrounds which are so popular with traditional fans and many of our readers.
This gives the 50-over format its own slot and would placate critics who say we are not taking the defence of our world title in 2023 seriously enough. Sky would also be pleased. As it currently stands, the only county 50-over match shown will be the final (understandably, because of course they will be broadcasting every match of The Hundred, even the ones the BBC have the rights to).It’s like watching a beloved pet suffer an agonising death. It’s the last thing I want to see, but maybe a mercy killing would be best before it suffers any further indignity.
A Decade’s Performance
Steve Tancock sent me this assessment
With the decade drawing to a close and its final cricket season completed it seems like an opportune time to look back at the County Championship over the last ten years.
The interesting thing with any retrospective like this is that recency bias becomes a real factor. If you had asked me before I crunched the numbers who the best four teams of the last decade had been I would almost certainly have got Somerset and Yorkshire but Essex and Surrey would also have been a big part of the conversation
Counties such as Durham, Warwickshire, Notts and Middlesex who have finished the decade poorly suffer in this regard because their success was at the start of the decade.
But the underlying impression is that the County Championship has to date, despite the best efforts of the ECB to neuter it, remains in good health with plenty of competition, a large number of winners and plenty of mobility between the divisions.
Whether the next decade will, when looked back on, show such a picture is unsure. If the agenda many suspect the board of pursuing of concentrating the power and success in the hands of the test match grounds is real this will not be the case. But for now, let’s reflect on what a wonderful decade we have just experienced.
The table below summarises the results of each of the last ten years first divisions. The numbers in each column are the place finish in that year. For example, you can see Somerset’s second place finishes in 2010, 2012, 2016, 2108 and 2019 denoted as “2”.
I have allocated 10 points to a team that was in division two in any season.
County Championship Division One 2010 - 2019
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
TOTAL
Somerset
2
4
2
6
6
6
2
6
2
2
38
Yorkshire
3
8
10
2
1
1
3
4
4
5
41
Warks
6
2
1
4
2
5
6
8
10
7
51
Durham
5
3
6
1
5
4
4
10
10
10
58
Notts
1
6
5
7
4
3
9
10
6
8
59
Middlesex
10
10
3
5
7
2
1
7
10
10
65
Lancashire
4
1
8
10
8
10
7
2
7
10
67
Surrey
10
10
7
10
10
10
5
3
1
6
72
Sussex
10
5
4
3
3
8
10
10
10
10
73
Essex
9
10
10
10
10
10
10
1
3
1
74
Hampshire
7
9
10
10
10
7
8
5
5
3
74
Kent
8
10
10
10
10
10
10
10
10
4
92
Worcs
10
7
9
10
10
9
10
10
8
10
93
Derbyshire
10
10
10
8
10
10
10
10
10
10
98
Northants
10
10
10
10
9
10
10
10
10
10
99
Unsurprisingly, Somerset sit at the top of the table. Remarkably the decade comprised five 2nd places, four 6th places and a solitary 4th place in 2011. A statistician would marvel at the low standard deviation of the ten-year performance. Somerset also are the only one of the fifteen teams who featured in division one in the decade not to have been relegated. A stat that is even prouder when you consider that the “Test Match Counties” have ten such ignominies amongst them.
Yorkshire have arguably a better performance for the bulk of the decade but their relegation in 2011 scuppered their hopes of being team of the decade. The six years following their return to the top division saw two titles, second and third placed finishes and one fourth.
Warwickshire are the surprise package for me sitting third overall a view that is recency biased by their relegation in 2017 and second bottom finish last year. Prior to 2017 they had been consistently mid-table.
The ultimate yoyo team is Lancashire. A title and a second place were both followed by relegations and in all they “went down” three times in the decade, bouncing back up at the first time of asking each time. What odds on the Red Rose dropping back down again at the start of the new decade.
Middlesex started and finished the decade in division 2 but in between managed a second, a third and that travesty of a title in the contrivance that was 2016 while their south London neighbours spent half the decade in the lower tier before returning in 2016.
In total there have been eight different champions in the decade with Yorkshire and Essex taking the title twice each. Remarkably every one of those counties spent a combined 23 seasons in division 2 over the same time span.
Essex’s lowly placing will surprise many. Their tenth place due to a run that saw them out of the division from 2011 to 2016 before the strong finish of two titles in three years.
Durham’s demise is clearly shown in this table. Having been a force to be reckoned with since the turn of the century they spent the period to 2016 in contention, winning once. But their fourth-place finish in 2016 resulted in relegation following the ECB’s sanctions for the club’s financial difficulties.
The inclusion of Derbyshire and Northants who both only spent one season in the top tier seems a little disingenuous. The “plaudits” for the consistently worst performers in the division go to Worcestershire with 3 relegations and one escape by one place in their four seasons in division one.
A Liquid visit to Lord’s
Robin Brodhurst sent me this confession
One of the pleasures of being an MCC member is the chance to repay hospitality by taking friends to Lord’s for a day of a Test Match. Early return of the Rover Tickets form and early entry into the ballot for a seat in the restaurant ensures both a reserved seat for you both, and with luck a place in the new Warner restaurant – is there a better way to watch cricket than while eating a 5-star meal?
This particular year, and it doesn’t matter which year it was, I decided to take Philip. I had taught his son, Joe, for five years, and loved almost every moment of it. Joe was an excellent games player: batsman for the cricket 1st XI, hockey goalkeeper for the 1st XI, and an excellent No 8 in the rugby 1st XV. He wasn’t an academic, but managed to get, I think, 3 B grades, including one for me in History. His father, an old boy of the school, would regularly tell me that I ought to beat Joe, as it did him no harm! Joe was the most disorganised of individuals, so essays rarely turned up on time, and his “cabin” was scruffy to the nth degree. However, he had an enchanting girlfriend, also doing History A Level, who kept him more or less on the straight and narrow. Philip was a regular attender at school functions and always “looked after me” when there was alcohol on the side and I couldn’t get to it, so I thought it was time to take him to Lord’s.
We met at the Grace Gates at 11.00 as play started and made our way to the Warner Stand, and after 15 minutes Philip enquired “A morning libation, Robin?” “Of course!” was my reply and we started with two pints of bitter as we discussed family news and idly watched what was going on in the middle. I bought the second round and we were soon approaching our lunch booking in the Indoor School at 1.15. We meandered round to the Nursery End, where there was a stall selling gin. “I think so,” was Philips response to my raised eyebrow. “Double ones” was his order to the man behind the counter, and very good gin it was too.
The Indoor School lunches are excellent. Usually on the Friday of a Test Match they have a curry, and this was no exception. We were shown to our table and given a menu and our instructions by the delightful waitress. Philip’s opening gambit to her as we perused the wine list was “While we recover from the stroll over here, we’ll have a gin and tonic. Better make them doubles.” He decided on a bottle of Chablis and it was delivered as we were starting on our popadoms. Then off to collect our curries, and superb they were. The Chablis went down a treat and the waitress was summoned a second time “I’m really not sure about this Chablis, my dear,” was Philip’s opening remark to her. Alarm grew on her face. “I think we’d better try another bottle of it just to see that we like it.”
By this time the lunch interval was ended and the play was going along. Luckily, of course, there were TV screens around so we could occasionally hear and see a wicket or a six, but it was entirely subsidiary to our lunch. Cheese was attacked and Philip insisted on a glass of port “Make them large ones my dear” the waitress was instructed. She duly did.
We eventually staggered out of the indoor school at about 5.00 and made our way back to the Warner Stand to be greeted by our neighbours who wanted to know about our lunch “Excellent” we responded in unison. At 5.45, Philip decided we should have a final pint of bitter “Just to round off a most successful day.” Who was I to refuse such a generous man?
I can remember little about the cricket, except that England did rather well. I’m not even sure now who we were playing. But as a memorable day at Lord’s it couldn’t be beaten. I shall always be in Philip’s debt for an unforgettable occasion. Joe? Oh Yes, he’s now skippering yachts in the Mediterranean for rich Americans with a crew of 14 under him, none of whom are older than him. That History A Level was so useful.
In memoriam
I received the following recently from Andy Tutton:
“This is Bruce’s son. I thought I should contact you to let you know that Bruce passed away yesterday after a short illness. He was 85. I’m sure readers of your newsletter will have their own memories of him. I remember as a child in the 70s going to South Hampstead in the summer with him & the friendly welcome for us from those playing & watching. They were happy days. He’s been described as a true gent. I agree. He was much loved and will be missed by all his family.”
I circulated it as widely as I could and have received the following:
Bill Hart:
I was so sorry to hear about Bruce’s parting, although it was good to hear that he only had a short illness. In June 1961, during the OG’s match v SHCC in Cricket Week, Jack Wilson & Ron Impey, and I think Bruce, hearing that I was getting married in September and would be living in Harrow, conned me into joining the club by telling me that it was a dead easy journey by Underground. It just showed how gullible I was then, but it was one of my best-ever decisions. I was surprised to hear that he was older than I, just by one year.All the very best to you and your readers,
Alvin Nienow:
Bruce was a fine batsman and a very strong team man, Played with him on many occasions from 1962 to 66 but he was not a regular member of the 1st XI because he was not regualrly available.when I first joined. I especially remember early in my second year when we collapsed against Thorton Heath and he and I put on a stand to win the match.batting at nos 5 and 6.
Bob Peach:
A good guy and cricketer. Lots of enjoyable sporting and social memories
Allen Bruton:
Sorry to hear about Bruce. Never played cricket with him but got to know him later as he seemed to maintain contact with SH. Seem also to remember him and his father Aubrey being regulars at the club in the early sixties when I would have been playing colts cricket. Sad to lose another club stalwart.
Steve Thompson:
I was just a little too young to have played with Bruce but I do remember his calm, reflective manner in and around the pavilion and the bar when he spectated. He was clearly a really lovely man.
Graham Sharp:
I would never have played with Bruce, but remember him as a gentle, friendly man, and (for SH), very well turned out!
Ged Matters
Ian Harris wrote the following for King Cricket
“What does it take to make a Lord’s Test match quintessentially Irish?” I wondered to myself ahead of the inaugural Test between England and Ireland. King Cricket wondered the same thing and asked me to report on’t. At Lord’s, the availability of bottled Guinness was pretty much to be the “be all and end all” of it. I needed to take matters into my own hands.
I arranged to take guests to each day of the match, hoping that I’d be taking at least one person of Irish extraction each time, but without pre-selecting guests on ethnic grounds. One of my Wednesday guests, Dominic, answered the question, “Do you by chance have any Irish ancestry?” with the intriguing answer, “No… apart from one Irish grandfather.” Nigel “Father Barry” White joined me and Charley “The Gent” Malloy on Thursday. Nigel is a self-confessed Scouser so I suspected he had some Irish roots. “Yes,” he said, in answer to that question. “My great-great-great-grandfather came from Ireland in the 1850s…” and he proceeded to tell a fascinating family history. Nigel might be persuaded to chime in with it, by way of a comment.Báirbre, one of my Friday guests, also from Merseyside, was a bit more of a slam dunk in the Irish origins department; her wonderful father was probably one of the most quintessentially Irish people I have ever met.
I was on picnic duty for the Wednesday and the Friday. On Wednesday I made the bagels with some outstanding Irish smoked salmon, a gift from Daisy’s lovely (former) client Helga who now lives in West Cork and who has sent us gifts of salmon from her local smoke house ever since we praised the stuff to the rafters when we visited Ireland in Dumbo a few years ago.
Mrs Malloy made the superb Thursday picnic for us. Corned beef sandwiches, a Charley “the Gent” favourite, were the centrepiece as usual – a (probably unwitting) tribute to Irish cuisine.
On Friday I thought I’d goofed until I discovered that the Jarlsberg cheese I had bought for the turkey, cheese and mayo sandwiches was, in fact, from Ireland. So I couldn’t use my “Norwegian Option” joke but I did at least have an Irish backstop.
Actually, the most quintessentially Irish thing about that Lord’s Test was the gloriously topsy-turvy nature of the match. But this is King Cricket – so we’re not allowed to talk about that.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 204
December 2019
Out & About with the Professor
I have comparatively few difficult decisions to make these days but the back end of November has presented me with one – whether to go to bed at midnight. Midnight is, of course, otherwise known as Lunchtime, and I have had nine days of dilemma so far. It’s not just that 12.40am is quite late to still be watching TV (for me at least), it is also the fact that 40 minutes drivel from the Sky “pundits” has to be endured before play resumes.
When I have mentioned this to friends, in addition to looking at me as if I were more than a touch eccentric (quite), they normally say something along the lines of: “Why bother at all? They’re useless”. My stock answer to this is that if you only watched England away Tests when they performed very well , you would be watching very little cricket; and anyway, it is always interesting to see how the side is coming together with new players, etc. From what I have seen so far, there is very little evidence of the side coming together and rather more of it falling apart. We all know about the opening bat problem and the middle order problem and, of course, the spin bowler problem, but I think we can now add to that: the opening bowler problem and, amazingly, even the wicket keeper problem. Doesn’t leave a whole lot left does it?
Presumably the second Test will be drawn – if not by the weather then by the Williamson – and we will lose 1-0. Not an Earth-shattering event and in any case it is a long time since we have won in New Zealand. But the series (if two matches can support that description) seems to have asked more questions than have been answered.
To begin with the batting, Burns seems to have continued his somewhat charmed life at the crease and a second hundred must secure his place for a while. Sibley, by contrast, looked, in the first Test, almost unable to score on the off side. It was hardly any surprise when he was out caught in the slips (or “nicking off” as we are now supposed to say) in the first innings and behind in the second. How can someone who has scored 1,300 Championship runs last season look so vulnerable? Nerves? Pope got out to a dreadful shot in the first innings as well, although I guess his 75 in this Test has helped secure a longer run in the side. Crawley only had half a dozen balls and while he does indeed ooze elegance, an elegant 1 is not much use.
Archer looked to be the answer to the opening bowling problem since he can bowl at 150 kph. The problem is that he doesn’t often choose to do so. Why not? Surely if you can bowl at that speed you would want to do so. Not every ball, not every day, but in general -isn’t that what fast bowlers like to do…as in the word “fast”? In the first Test he bowled 42 overs for 1 wicket and to date he has bowled 35 overs for one more. Not exactly devastating stuff. Also I didn’t think Leach was too tidy in the first match; for someone who is supposed to give the captain control, 47 overs for 153 is not that miserly.
And then, and then, there is the wicket-keeper issue. Surely this can’t be a problem. We are used to seeing England take the field with a handful of ‘keepers. Give the gloves to any one of five. When I first saw this team I thought they had forgotten to pick one. In the event, and with the absence of a spinner, Pope did OK…but is that intended to be a long term solution? Presumably not, and Buttler will come back in South Africa. But it does seem very odd to select a side without a full-time ‘keeper.
The big plus has been Root’s runs (in addition to Burns’ and Denley’s). Stokes we all know about and Broad has looked OK for an old ‘un. So, lots to think about…and not just when to go to bed. After Christmas, the fact that South Africa have the good sense to play in the same (or nearly) time zone will remove the bedtime dilemma but I rather fancy I have sorted that already by buying tickets for a couple of the Tests. By that time perhaps the England side will be more settled…then again.
This & That
In the fourth T20 Eoin Morgan and Dawid Malan put on 182. The pair’s first 50-run stand was brought up in 17 minutes. Their partnership reached the 100-run mark in 37 minutes. Morgan had scored England’s fastest ever T20I fifty in 21 deliveries, one quicker than Jos Buttler’s previous record. Malan had reached England’s fastest T20I hundred; he finished unbeaten on 103 from 51 balls. Their partnership was the highest for the third-wicket in T20I history. There were 85 runs in the final five overs, 153 in the last ten. 243 was England’s biggest total in T20I history.
In ten T20I innings, Malan has made 78, 50, 10, 59, 53, 11, 39, 55 and 103. Six fifties. No other player in the format’s history has begun with more than four in their first ten knocks.
The best job in the Premiership must be the bloke who comes on for Mezut Ozil when he inevitably gets substituted. Since Ozil plays in no position, contributes little and struggles with the pace of the game his replacement can’t help but have a positive impact.
Charlie Austin has turned up at West Brom. He now has blonde hair.
I have taken to watching Goals on Sunday as it avoids staying up late on Saturday and subjecting myself to the self smuggery of Linnekar and his chums. Goals on Sunday is worth watching for Alex Scott if nothing else but their guests recently were the Burnley strike pair Chris Wood and Ashley Barnes. Wood looks like an extra from an east end gangster movie but turns out to be a New Zealander who spoke pretty well. Unlike his partner, Barnes, who used “obviously” repeatedly in every sentence. After a while his club manager, Sean Dyche, texted the programme and told him to stop saying it. This just made matters worse and Barnes was reduced to using the word more and more. It by then had become contagious and Kamara, Scott and Wood all began to use it liberally in their sentences. This created a giggling scenario and the producer must have been pleased when the show had finally run its course.
The Pakistanis must be sick of the sight of Warner and Labuschagne. In the first test Warner added 222 for the first wicket with Joe Burns before falling at 351 for 154. His partner in the second wicket stand was Marcus Labuschagne who went on to 185. In the second test Burns fell early and Warner and Labuschagne then added 361 before Labuschagne fell for 162. Warner went on to 335 not out. Tim Payne opted not to give him a crack at Lara’s 400.
I am an old fashioned chappie who believes that the umpires make the decisions in cricket and the referees make the decisions in football. In fact in the vast majority of matches played this is still applied. However, because of the impact of television off field officials now make many of the crucial decisions. In cricket it is not automatic and the players determine whether or not to go for a second opinion. In soccer VAR has been shambolic with the natural flow of the game being interrupted by protracted consideration and many nonsensical interpretations of laws. It won’t go away but needs significant improvement.
Another soccer problem looming is the heading issue. In seems inconceivable but heading is already being banned in some school scenarios. Will players have to go underground to learn this critical aspect of the game? It may also mean the ball has to be played on the ground only to avoid inadvertent heading. This may seem nonsensical but there are pressure groups which will not rest until they ruin the game.
Many attribute Manchester City’s dramatic decline in fortunes this season to poor defending and there is no doubt that this has played its part but the real issue is the low conversion rate of chances created. Aguero, Jesus and Sterling & co could have doubled their tally already if they had scored on any acceptable conversion rate and had they done so City could be giving Liverpool a run for their money.
Morgan Matters
The G tells us that "QPR are disgusted at Fifa and Uefa's response to a racist incident" and have accused them of “brushing racism under the carpet" following an incident that prompted their under 18 team to abandon a match in Spain in August.
In an interview in the Cricketer, D Malan was asked "there are reports that you are considering a move" and he replied "I have been at Middlesex for 14 years and have 2 years left on my contract".
D Malan has joined Yorkshire on a four year deal: re-election here we come!
By the way, my total of cricket days this year was 26, the lowest since records began and 3 worse than last year... but not as low as next year's will be!
A Martin has a longish piece on Dawid in today's G in which DM reveals that he spent most of the summer "banging his head against a wall" due to a breakdown in communications with coach Stuart Law.
P Handscomb has signed on as Middlesex captain of the Championship and 50 over Cup sides for the next 2 years.
I have just received an email from Middlesex Chairman M O'Farrell, apologising for not sending me my free vouchers for last season and telling me that I will get a whopping 4 for next season! He also says that (though this is awaiting confirmation) we will get as many "days of cricket at Lord's next season in spite of the hundred". Sound good, but I will await the confirmation at the end of November before opening the champers!
There's a nice article on Peter Reid in today's O, the highlight of which was PR telling Boris J that he was a "fat, lying twat and a disgrace for what he wrote about my city".
Somerset have been handed a 12 point deduction for next season's CC after being found guilty of breaching pitch regulations for their match against Essex at Taunton in September. The full punishment was a 24 point deduction, with 12 points suspended.
The Cricketer has this item (though this is, of course not the only item) in its monthly column on Middlesex: “young allrounder Luke Hollman has also signed a two year deal. The England U-19 leg-spinner played a key role in North Middx winning the Middlesex Premier League and was named as the league’s best player for a second successive year”.
Tauranga: NZ won by an innings and 65. The only words of wisdom that I can find uttered by C Silverwood were "it is a flat pitch, but not a flat showing in the slightest" which is absolute nonsense, of course, it was definitely a flat showing, but why was it so flat when the pitch was so flat? I look forward to more of Silverwood's words of wisdom.
There is a nonsense fuss going on in NZ because some idiot has called J Archer a black something or other! Has he not ever heard such racist crap before? This all sounds like the proverbial teacup storm to me: get over it Jofra mate and concentrate on your own game, like thousands of other black men have done before you. Jonathan Liew in the G seems to agree with Jofra and says that "cricket has a racism problem" just because there is one racist idiot in northern parts of North Island! In fact, I have been encouraged in recent times by how few racist idiots there are at cricket these days, though I do not get around the world (or even Britain) as much as I used to.
I was very disappointed that all the RLODC games are at Radlett next year.
T Murtagh has retired from international cricket, has signed a new 2-year contract with Middlesex and will play in all formats.
Gary Wilson has stepped down from skippering the Ire T20 side so A Balbirnie will now captain in all 3 formats.
County Championship Matters
Huw Turberville writes
When Eoin Morgan said “over the next few years, one of the formats will miss out – we can’t play with four formats”, he was probably right. He was just wrong to infer it would be the Blast. That is the only conclusion to be drawn from the draft schedule for 2020, seen by The Cricketer. With 11 matches out of 14 set to be played at the bookends of the season, it is the County Championship that is imperilled. It will no longer be – to use a phrase favoured by former Home Secretary John Reid – fit for purpose.Frankly, what will be the point of it?
Yes, yes, I know several hundred to a thousand or two fans attend the matches. And thousands more like me follow the scores online through the day. But one of its fundamental purposes – to identify and prepare players for Test duty – will effectively be nullified. The schedule – sent to county CEOs – sees three Championship matches in April and four in May. Then the Vitality Blast enjoys a run (May 28-June 7). A Championship match pops up in mid-June. Then more Blast matches (June 19-26). Then two four-day windows (starting June 28 and July 5). The Hundred is poised to start on July 17, the ‘development’ 50-over tournament commencing a day later. The Blast quarter-finals are from August 18-21, then it is two Championship windows (August 23 and 29).
Blast Finals Day could be on September 5 (with a reserve day). Then two Championship windows (September 8 and 14). The 50-over final to be on September 19 (with a reserve day). And finally two Championship matches (September 21 and September 27 – going into the last day of the month)... later than ever before.
Rumour reaches us that this is the precursor to an announcement that two Championship matches will be culled come 2021, to 12 per side. Which presumably means teams in both Divisions One and Two will not play each other home and away (this is already the case in the top flight next summer). How much longer will it be before the magic number of 10 is reached – in line with the Sheffield Shield?Of course all these matches in the spring and late summer/autumn will not be conducive to producing Test cricketers – unless Faf du Plessis is right that the World Test Championship is likely to result in more result pitches.
Success in the County Championship will still signify character and combativeness – somebody like Dominic Sibley last summer, who can rise above the elements – but conditions will bear no resemblance to those of a Test match – in England, with three Tests pencilled in for June and three for August – and especially at venues like Brisbane, Colombo and New Delhi.
How has this occurred?
There was a clue at the House of Commons, when the ECB delegation were questioned by the Department for Culture, Media and Sport. “Next year, from 2020 onwards, the schedule has been put together by the stakeholders, the counties,” ECB chairman Colin Graves told MPs. “They got together between them; we didn’t impose anything on them.” So there you go... it looks as if the counties chose to have their Blast matches, not Championship, in mid-summer. And you can see why: T20 makes big money, the four-day game does not.
The ECB have to tread carefully with the counties. There was a cold war about The Hundred. Now it’s détente. But really shouldn’t the ECB be telling the counties to schedule the Championship better? After all, the Test game is still important to them. It still makes them big money. I am guessing Test cricket makes up about £700m of the £1.1bn television deal from 2020-24.
Maybe this is where the new Professional Game Board comes in – to make decisions for the good of English cricket, not the bank balance.
A new legend seems to fear for Test cricket’s future on a weekly basis. Greg Chappell believes there may only be four or five major countries playing it soon. “It's another reason why I think 50-over cricket needs to be supported and given a rethink,” he says, “because 50-over cricket could well become the Test cricket of the future for a lot of cricket-playing countries.”Ashley Giles, the managing director of England men’s cricket, suggests a solution: play some Championship matches rather than 50-over alongside The Hundred.
Yes, 96 domestic players will be away in the ECB’s new competition, but that still leaves a lot of cricketers to enjoy good conditions, at outgrounds which are so popular with traditional fans and many of our readers.
This gives the 50-over format its own slot and would placate critics who say we are not taking the defence of our world title in 2023 seriously enough. Sky would also be pleased. As it currently stands, the only county 50-over match shown will be the final (understandably, because of course they will be broadcasting every match of The Hundred, even the ones the BBC have the rights to).It’s like watching a beloved pet suffer an agonising death. It’s the last thing I want to see, but maybe a mercy killing would be best before it suffers any further indignity.
A Decade’s Performance
Steve Tancock sent me this assessment
With the decade drawing to a close and its final cricket season completed it seems like an opportune time to look back at the County Championship over the last ten years.
The interesting thing with any retrospective like this is that recency bias becomes a real factor. If you had asked me before I crunched the numbers who the best four teams of the last decade had been I would almost certainly have got Somerset and Yorkshire but Essex and Surrey would also have been a big part of the conversation
Counties such as Durham, Warwickshire, Notts and Middlesex who have finished the decade poorly suffer in this regard because their success was at the start of the decade.
But the underlying impression is that the County Championship has to date, despite the best efforts of the ECB to neuter it, remains in good health with plenty of competition, a large number of winners and plenty of mobility between the divisions.
Whether the next decade will, when looked back on, show such a picture is unsure. If the agenda many suspect the board of pursuing of concentrating the power and success in the hands of the test match grounds is real this will not be the case. But for now, let’s reflect on what a wonderful decade we have just experienced.
The table below summarises the results of each of the last ten years first divisions. The numbers in each column are the place finish in that year. For example, you can see Somerset’s second place finishes in 2010, 2012, 2016, 2108 and 2019 denoted as “2”.
I have allocated 10 points to a team that was in division two in any season.
County Championship Division One 2010 - 2019
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
TOTAL
Somerset
2
4
2
6
6
6
2
6
2
2
38
Yorkshire
3
8
10
2
1
1
3
4
4
5
41
Warks
6
2
1
4
2
5
6
8
10
7
51
Durham
5
3
6
1
5
4
4
10
10
10
58
Notts
1
6
5
7
4
3
9
10
6
8
59
Middlesex
10
10
3
5
7
2
1
7
10
10
65
Lancashire
4
1
8
10
8
10
7
2
7
10
67
Surrey
10
10
7
10
10
10
5
3
1
6
72
Sussex
10
5
4
3
3
8
10
10
10
10
73
Essex
9
10
10
10
10
10
10
1
3
1
74
Hampshire
7
9
10
10
10
7
8
5
5
3
74
Kent
8
10
10
10
10
10
10
10
10
4
92
Worcs
10
7
9
10
10
9
10
10
8
10
93
Derbyshire
10
10
10
8
10
10
10
10
10
10
98
Northants
10
10
10
10
9
10
10
10
10
10
99
Unsurprisingly, Somerset sit at the top of the table. Remarkably the decade comprised five 2nd places, four 6th places and a solitary 4th place in 2011. A statistician would marvel at the low standard deviation of the ten-year performance. Somerset also are the only one of the fifteen teams who featured in division one in the decade not to have been relegated. A stat that is even prouder when you consider that the “Test Match Counties” have ten such ignominies amongst them.
Yorkshire have arguably a better performance for the bulk of the decade but their relegation in 2011 scuppered their hopes of being team of the decade. The six years following their return to the top division saw two titles, second and third placed finishes and one fourth.
Warwickshire are the surprise package for me sitting third overall a view that is recency biased by their relegation in 2017 and second bottom finish last year. Prior to 2017 they had been consistently mid-table.
The ultimate yoyo team is Lancashire. A title and a second place were both followed by relegations and in all they “went down” three times in the decade, bouncing back up at the first time of asking each time. What odds on the Red Rose dropping back down again at the start of the new decade.
Middlesex started and finished the decade in division 2 but in between managed a second, a third and that travesty of a title in the contrivance that was 2016 while their south London neighbours spent half the decade in the lower tier before returning in 2016.
In total there have been eight different champions in the decade with Yorkshire and Essex taking the title twice each. Remarkably every one of those counties spent a combined 23 seasons in division 2 over the same time span.
Essex’s lowly placing will surprise many. Their tenth place due to a run that saw them out of the division from 2011 to 2016 before the strong finish of two titles in three years.
Durham’s demise is clearly shown in this table. Having been a force to be reckoned with since the turn of the century they spent the period to 2016 in contention, winning once. But their fourth-place finish in 2016 resulted in relegation following the ECB’s sanctions for the club’s financial difficulties.
The inclusion of Derbyshire and Northants who both only spent one season in the top tier seems a little disingenuous. The “plaudits” for the consistently worst performers in the division go to Worcestershire with 3 relegations and one escape by one place in their four seasons in division one.
A Liquid visit to Lord’s
Robin Brodhurst sent me this confession
One of the pleasures of being an MCC member is the chance to repay hospitality by taking friends to Lord’s for a day of a Test Match. Early return of the Rover Tickets form and early entry into the ballot for a seat in the restaurant ensures both a reserved seat for you both, and with luck a place in the new Warner restaurant – is there a better way to watch cricket than while eating a 5-star meal?
This particular year, and it doesn’t matter which year it was, I decided to take Philip. I had taught his son, Joe, for five years, and loved almost every moment of it. Joe was an excellent games player: batsman for the cricket 1st XI, hockey goalkeeper for the 1st XI, and an excellent No 8 in the rugby 1st XV. He wasn’t an academic, but managed to get, I think, 3 B grades, including one for me in History. His father, an old boy of the school, would regularly tell me that I ought to beat Joe, as it did him no harm! Joe was the most disorganised of individuals, so essays rarely turned up on time, and his “cabin” was scruffy to the nth degree. However, he had an enchanting girlfriend, also doing History A Level, who kept him more or less on the straight and narrow. Philip was a regular attender at school functions and always “looked after me” when there was alcohol on the side and I couldn’t get to it, so I thought it was time to take him to Lord’s.
We met at the Grace Gates at 11.00 as play started and made our way to the Warner Stand, and after 15 minutes Philip enquired “A morning libation, Robin?” “Of course!” was my reply and we started with two pints of bitter as we discussed family news and idly watched what was going on in the middle. I bought the second round and we were soon approaching our lunch booking in the Indoor School at 1.15. We meandered round to the Nursery End, where there was a stall selling gin. “I think so,” was Philips response to my raised eyebrow. “Double ones” was his order to the man behind the counter, and very good gin it was too.
The Indoor School lunches are excellent. Usually on the Friday of a Test Match they have a curry, and this was no exception. We were shown to our table and given a menu and our instructions by the delightful waitress. Philip’s opening gambit to her as we perused the wine list was “While we recover from the stroll over here, we’ll have a gin and tonic. Better make them doubles.” He decided on a bottle of Chablis and it was delivered as we were starting on our popadoms. Then off to collect our curries, and superb they were. The Chablis went down a treat and the waitress was summoned a second time “I’m really not sure about this Chablis, my dear,” was Philip’s opening remark to her. Alarm grew on her face. “I think we’d better try another bottle of it just to see that we like it.”
By this time the lunch interval was ended and the play was going along. Luckily, of course, there were TV screens around so we could occasionally hear and see a wicket or a six, but it was entirely subsidiary to our lunch. Cheese was attacked and Philip insisted on a glass of port “Make them large ones my dear” the waitress was instructed. She duly did.
We eventually staggered out of the indoor school at about 5.00 and made our way back to the Warner Stand to be greeted by our neighbours who wanted to know about our lunch “Excellent” we responded in unison. At 5.45, Philip decided we should have a final pint of bitter “Just to round off a most successful day.” Who was I to refuse such a generous man?
I can remember little about the cricket, except that England did rather well. I’m not even sure now who we were playing. But as a memorable day at Lord’s it couldn’t be beaten. I shall always be in Philip’s debt for an unforgettable occasion. Joe? Oh Yes, he’s now skippering yachts in the Mediterranean for rich Americans with a crew of 14 under him, none of whom are older than him. That History A Level was so useful.
In memoriam
I received the following recently from Andy Tutton:
“This is Bruce’s son. I thought I should contact you to let you know that Bruce passed away yesterday after a short illness. He was 85. I’m sure readers of your newsletter will have their own memories of him. I remember as a child in the 70s going to South Hampstead in the summer with him & the friendly welcome for us from those playing & watching. They were happy days. He’s been described as a true gent. I agree. He was much loved and will be missed by all his family.”
I circulated it as widely as I could and have received the following:
Bill Hart:
I was so sorry to hear about Bruce’s parting, although it was good to hear that he only had a short illness. In June 1961, during the OG’s match v SHCC in Cricket Week, Jack Wilson & Ron Impey, and I think Bruce, hearing that I was getting married in September and would be living in Harrow, conned me into joining the club by telling me that it was a dead easy journey by Underground. It just showed how gullible I was then, but it was one of my best-ever decisions. I was surprised to hear that he was older than I, just by one year.All the very best to you and your readers,
Alvin Nienow:
Bruce was a fine batsman and a very strong team man, Played with him on many occasions from 1962 to 66 but he was not a regular member of the 1st XI because he was not regualrly available.when I first joined. I especially remember early in my second year when we collapsed against Thorton Heath and he and I put on a stand to win the match.batting at nos 5 and 6.
Bob Peach:
A good guy and cricketer. Lots of enjoyable sporting and social memories
Allen Bruton:
Sorry to hear about Bruce. Never played cricket with him but got to know him later as he seemed to maintain contact with SH. Seem also to remember him and his father Aubrey being regulars at the club in the early sixties when I would have been playing colts cricket. Sad to lose another club stalwart.
Steve Thompson:
I was just a little too young to have played with Bruce but I do remember his calm, reflective manner in and around the pavilion and the bar when he spectated. He was clearly a really lovely man.
Graham Sharp:
I would never have played with Bruce, but remember him as a gentle, friendly man, and (for SH), very well turned out!
Ged Matters
Ian Harris wrote the following for King Cricket
“What does it take to make a Lord’s Test match quintessentially Irish?” I wondered to myself ahead of the inaugural Test between England and Ireland. King Cricket wondered the same thing and asked me to report on’t. At Lord’s, the availability of bottled Guinness was pretty much to be the “be all and end all” of it. I needed to take matters into my own hands.
I arranged to take guests to each day of the match, hoping that I’d be taking at least one person of Irish extraction each time, but without pre-selecting guests on ethnic grounds. One of my Wednesday guests, Dominic, answered the question, “Do you by chance have any Irish ancestry?” with the intriguing answer, “No… apart from one Irish grandfather.” Nigel “Father Barry” White joined me and Charley “The Gent” Malloy on Thursday. Nigel is a self-confessed Scouser so I suspected he had some Irish roots. “Yes,” he said, in answer to that question. “My great-great-great-grandfather came from Ireland in the 1850s…” and he proceeded to tell a fascinating family history. Nigel might be persuaded to chime in with it, by way of a comment.Báirbre, one of my Friday guests, also from Merseyside, was a bit more of a slam dunk in the Irish origins department; her wonderful father was probably one of the most quintessentially Irish people I have ever met.
I was on picnic duty for the Wednesday and the Friday. On Wednesday I made the bagels with some outstanding Irish smoked salmon, a gift from Daisy’s lovely (former) client Helga who now lives in West Cork and who has sent us gifts of salmon from her local smoke house ever since we praised the stuff to the rafters when we visited Ireland in Dumbo a few years ago.
Mrs Malloy made the superb Thursday picnic for us. Corned beef sandwiches, a Charley “the Gent” favourite, were the centrepiece as usual – a (probably unwitting) tribute to Irish cuisine.
On Friday I thought I’d goofed until I discovered that the Jarlsberg cheese I had bought for the turkey, cheese and mayo sandwiches was, in fact, from Ireland. So I couldn’t use my “Norwegian Option” joke but I did at least have an Irish backstop.
Actually, the most quintessentially Irish thing about that Lord’s Test was the gloriously topsy-turvy nature of the match. But this is King Cricket – so we’re not allowed to talk about that.
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