GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 25
January 2005
England Matters
I am finding myself having to review my skeptical view of the England team. They are starting to look like a seriously successful outfit in that they are performing above the sum of the parts. They have developed a team spirit that allows them to transcend set backs and go on to ground the opposition down and eventually win comfortably. There always seems to be someone ready to step up when others don’t deliver. The best batsman, Vaughan, rarely makes a significant contribution with the bat but they never seem to be short of runs. Last summer, Harmison emerged as a world class strike bowler but when he didn’t deliver the goods Flintoff or Giles stepped up. In Port Elizabeth Harmison was rusty but first Hoggard and then Jones stepped into the breach.
It seems likely that they will win comfortably in South Africa and go on to annihilate Bangla Desh but how will they fare in the Ashes series? I have seen several Man for Man assessments in the press that seem extraordinarily generous to the English counterparts. Strauss is ranked the equivalent of Langer despite the fact that the latter scored the most test runs in 2004, nearly twice as many as Strauss. Langer has made three test double centuries and Strauss is yet to play a big one. They rank Vaughan the same as Martyn, apparently completely ignoring recent form. They also suggest that Giles is almost as valuable as Warne. These pundits could be in for a rude awakening next summer.
The real test will be whether the England team can withstand the inevitable set backs against such daunting opposition. If last year was anything to go by, Warne could be turning the ball square at Lords and if he does he will be a serious handful. There is also the problem of Gilchrist cutting loose in mid innings at say 350-5, when both bowlers and fielders are already tired.
The England team has become a force to be reckoned with and it promises to be the best Ashes series for years. But unless England show resilience from the outset they could easily find recent history repeating itself all too familiarly.
Bush Matters
Brian Howard sent me this: “The Bush had a dinner a couple of weeks ago to raise funds for the pavilion on the new ground. The dinner was a great success with some 200 people in attendance who helped to raise approx £16k. Mike Gatting was the guest speaker. You will see from the photo which is taken from Bromyard Avenue that the new ground is just a six hit from the old through the trees to the right. From where I am in Peterborough now the Bush seem in very good hands. Many seem to think that the new ground will be better in terms of setting and quality than the old ground. The Club hopes to have the pavilion built by early season 2005, subject to finalising and pulling together all the funding sources.”
From the Professor’s Armchair
At the beginning of December I emailed the Professor: “The moment of truth is approaching and our smoothly oiled machine suddenly seems unprepared for the task ahead. Still they have only had three months to prepare. Any thoughts?” He replied:
I don’t think there is any need for panic. We may, of course, get thrashed, but I’m rather more optimistic about the series. We seem to have had a talent over the years for losing the “warm up” games (and often the following Tests as well). What this week has shown, should we need showing, is that the people who arrange these things never seem to be able to organise a sensible itinerary. Given the absurdity of the Zimbabwean business I suppose it’s no great surprise. I recall a disingenuous rant from the right wing press of the 1960s that we should “keep politics out of sport”. I think that was at the time when the MCC had just decided that 150 in the final test was not good enough to get Basil D’Olivera on the plane to South Africa. A purely cricketing decision. Now sport (and particularly cricket) is only about politics and of course its handmaiden, money. Just what, exactly, was the cricketing purpose of the Zimbabwe tour? Will anybody ever remember the result…or care? The gutless gerontocrats of the 1960s have their faithful successors in the current administration.
Incidentally, I see in today’s paper, that there is a “debate” in the ECB as to whether all cricket broadcasting for the foreseeable future should be sold to Sky. Apparently this will be a more lucrative deal than having some “terrestrial” coverage and is thus supported by the avaricious counties who need the money to pay for their overseas players. We will thus soon move to the happy position where cricket in England is contested by people who can’t play for England and is watched by people who don’t live here.
As for South Africa, as I said to you before, when I was there in September there was much depression about their chances against England. I’m going to stick my neck out (and invite you to do the same) and suggest that the depression is well founded and we will come away with no worse than a draw from the series.
And then he sent me this
Normally to have been shown to be prescient brings a warm, smug (if somewhat rare) feeling. Not so with this however. Can the county bosses who make up the ECB show their contempt for the public in any clearer way than to sell cricket for the foreseeable future to Sky? Their attempted justifications of "the interests of cricket" are as facile as they are transparent. Their only concern is the interests of their own county clubs. In five years time one of these myopic invertebrates will be holding aloft the county championship trophy and beaming self-satisfaction...and hardly anyone else in England will know or care.
I responded
The good thing about Sky is that scheduling isn't a problem. They cover without interruption and give extensive highlights in the evening. They enable the start to be after dawn and can incl ude any extension of play necessitated by the appallingly slow over rates of modern cricket. Nevertheless, it seems a pity that access to it is limited to those with the wherewithal and inclination to subscribe to Uncle Rupert's magnificent offering. Perhaps Blair should make it compulsory for everyone to subscribe, like they do with the BBC, which would solve the problem.
And he came back:
The bad thing about Sky is: 1. Very few people have it 2. It is too expensive for many 3. It necessitates one of those ridiculous dish things which many would not want to put on their house and some, in conservation areas, are not allowed to 4. It has endless inane commercials at the end of the over and as soon as anyone is out. If a wicket falls in the first ball of a new over we have a splendid opportunity for about five minutes of the crap. 5. It has more than its fair share of inane commentators. The only good thing I can think about it is Tim Abraham, who is a friend of mine and a, not very good, WGCCC player. I couldn’t let him get away with this:
Such petulance does not become you Professor. The black dishes are surely more elegant than the old fashioned aerials, or do you have cable now that you have returned to city dwelling? The commentators are no worse than provided by any of the other channels. Unfortunately few of them have played the modern game and so don't know what they are talking about. The exception is our old friend Nass who talks much sense albeit in the modern idiom. I find that they handle the advertising quite well and it is no more intrusive than with Channel 4's coverage. Your pal Abraham always seems hungover, is this just an act or is he an alcoholic?
To which I received an academic bollocking:
Something of a confusion of analysis and opinion here James. Of my 5 points: 1 and 2 are uncontested. 3 is "refuted" by the reference to the ugliness of aerials. While the latter are surely ugly this is hardly a recommendation for the former. Do you prefer to be hanged or strangled?
The comparison in 4 is with other "commercial" stations that peddle the loathsome ads. I find them intrusive, endlessly repetitive (they seem only to advertise cars and booze, i.e. "Men’s things") and generally repugnant. As for 5, the Beeb's televising of cricket is so long ago that it is hard to remember the commentators but in general I think there is much to be said for the silence of the Benaud as against the hysteria of Greig. There now - how about that for a hydrated analytical discourse?
Anyway...what about the win in Port Elizabeth? I always knew that our South Africans were better than their South Africans.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan sent me these notes on personnel matters at Lords
I am assuming that the openers in 2005 will be Hutton and Smith. Smith hasn’t done it much in recent years, but used to do it regularly, while Hutton is one of those who thinks he should bat at five and never wanted to open. Hutton has made a success of the job, however, and will probably have to continue in the role unless Emburey allows him to pull rank now that he is skipper. None of the others (Shah, Joyce, Weekes, Nash (assuming he is keeping) and Styris (I’m guessing, but he has never opened to my knowledge)) will want to open, so if someone has to be pressed into service, it might have to be Dalrymple. I am fairly happy with the signing of Alan Richardson; he always struck me as a useful bowler, but he has drifted out of the Warwicks team in the last couple of years, which is why they were willing to release him. I do not know whether this was due to injury or poor form, but either way, it is a bit worrying in someone who is nearly 30. On the other hand, they had to bring someone in. Hayward’s fitness has been fairly good, but Betts, Hutchison and now Keegan are all unreliable. Wright and Whelan show promise, but they are on steep learning curves and it would be really worrying if they both had to thrown in at the same time. Richardson had also begun to reveal unsuspected skills with the bat.
Project Salvation The professor is keen to re-focus our attention on this important topic
As I recall it, the early editions of G&C focused on "Project Salvation”. You seem to have gone quiet on that front, presumably because of the current run of good form of the national side. (How quickly we forget that we lost the Ashes in 11 days). However the recent sell off/sell-out by the ECB of the TV rights brings the focus back again to the long term. Most people would, I guess, take the view that the success of the national side was central to the long-term future of the game, but now, even if they are successful, few people will see it.
This weekend "the Observer" ran a two-page spread on the sell-out and a couple of points were well made by someone called Barrie Stuart-King who is "Chief Executive" of the "National Recreational Cricket Conference". I'd not heard of either Mr. Stuart-King or the NRCC (unless it is the new title for the Club Cricket Conference) but he says this:
"In the past ten years there has been a drop of 40% in the numbers of recreational cricketers" and,
"The ECB isn't really a governing body at all, not like the RFU or the FA. It is a private members' club with 18 members - the first-class counties."
I rather think there might be some connection between those two statements (as does Mr. S-K). But this latest bit of veniality shows that the ECB has no interest in cricket in this country beyond their own status on their county committees. The attitude of Giles Clark (the ECB's "Marketing Chief”!) exemplifies the problem. People who are arguing for terrestrial coverage are, he is quoted as saying, "talking drivel ...and not looking at modern trends". I think one useful modern trend would be to get rid of Mr. Clark and his venial bosses. I think you need to revive "Salvation", and the salvation English cricket seeks is to be saved from its self-appointed Board.
Doosra Matters
Who does Chris Broad think he is? He never bowled throughout his career but has taken it upon himself to be the judge of the most difficult delivery devised in the history of the game and is rapidly becoming the most unpopular figure in world cricket, at least on the sub continent. It was he who reported Murali for throwing his Doosra in 2003 that led to its being banned and Murali’s subsequent failure to join his teammates in Australia. Although how you ban a particular delivery is beyond my comprehension. Presumably the call has to be made by the umpire at the bowler’s end and he waits to see which way the ball has turned before retrospectively calling no ball when appropriate?
Flushed with this success Broad has now decided that he is the arbiter of the Doosra and its fairness. Following their release of the injured Saqlain, Surrey signed up Harbajhan Singh this winter to mesmerize next year’s opposition at the Oval. However, Harbajhan was so successful against Australia recently that Match Referee Broad had a serious look at his Doosra and decided that indeed it was being thrown and has subsequently reported it to the ICC. Where does this leave Surrey? When they agreed terms with Harbajhan they presumably expected his full box of tricks to be available to them. If he now has to leave his Doosra in the dressing room will they only have to pay half his salary?
As for any readers who have secretly been developing their own Doosra this winter, you had better check out who is in the pavilion before you unveil it next summer. If the Doosra Doctor Broad is in attendance you will undoubtedly get reported.
Hong Kong Matters
England are World Champions! Well at least in the strange world of Six a Side cricket, played in the miniscule ground in Hong Kong. They retained their title beating Sri Lanka in the final. Sri Lanka scored 61-4 in their allotted overs and England then knocked them off in 3.1 overs, with Kabir Ali scoring 34 from eleven balls.
Meanwhile, the Hong Kong League comprises matches of thirty-five overs per side. In a recent game the Pakistani, Hussain Butt, scored 311 not out for Hong Kong University against Hong Kong CC Nomads. His innings contained no less than thirty-six sixes and accounted for twelve lost balls. At least two of the sixes hit cars passing the ground and others threatened tennis players on a nearby court. My batting at Milverton Road was never a threat to either.
Funny Hats
In the days before pyjama cricket headgear for cricketers fell into two quite distinct camps. On the one hand there was the highly conservative plain, dark coloured cap with perhaps just a club emblem on the front. The England cap epitomised this being navy blue with the England badge to the fore. Most county caps were of similar design and indeed club caps largely followed suit. When South Hampstead introduced a new club cap in the sixties it was dark blue but rather than the club badge on the front it had an S overlaying an H. It is a sign of those times that this caused quite a stir and was considered rather strange since it could be mistaken for a dollar sign. Conservatism was everything.
At the other end of the spectrum was the Jazz hat beloved of public school wandering sides and other itinerant clubs such as I Zingari, MCC and the Stoics. When I played for the London Schools side I was delighted to be awarded my cap, which had red and white hoops and a red peak. However, I was unable to wear it other than in this select band because of the ridicule rained upon me in other environments.
Some players did manage to have a foot in both camps. The ridiculousness of a Jazz hat could be overcome if enough members of a non-Jazz hat side were also members of a Jazz hat-touting band. At South Hampstead a number of players were also members of the Wanderers. So if Don Wallis, when rummaging for socks in his famous huge suitcase, accidentally let slip a brown and green segmented cap he was more likely to get away with it because several other members of the side were Wanderers too. To put in perspective the scorn heaped upon the Jazz hat consider this: the same Don Wallis would turn up for Wednesday XI matches straight from the city wearing a bowler hat which more or less escaped comment completely.
Separated Since Birth
It all started a few years back when the Guardian published an article disclosing that Paul Gazza Gascoigne was indeed the son of Bamber, the smooth intellectual game show host. Since then the Internet has enabled many friends and family members to find each other after many years apart. Alumni websites and others such as Friends Reunited are the normal avenues for such activities, but equally chat rooms and other websites can provide a similar service.
It was on deceasedbluessingers.com that Michael Vaughan discovered his cousin Stevie Ray, an axman par excellence, but who sadly never played cricket. Interestingly George thinks that Peg Leg bears a striking resemblance to his Great Uncle Frankie.
It was their common love of football that brought long lost brothers Rod and Alec Stewart back together when they bumped into each other on the Chelsea website. Why did Stuart Law leave Essex for Lancashire? It was when he found that his Uncle Dennis had played there for both Manchester football clubs. It was on irishexpats.com that Middlesex’ Ed Joyce made the scary discovery that his great Grandfather was none other than the wordsmith James.
Imagine their surprise when Martin Love and James Anderson were cruising porn websites together during a rain stoppage and discovered their long lost sisters Courtney and Pamela. During another rain break, this time at Cardiff when Glamorgan were playing Gloucestershire, Steve James and Tim Hancock were messing about on fiftiesradiocomics.com only to find that their blood lines had produced new uncles in Sid and Tony respectively. They are yet to tell Vic Marks about his uncle Alfred.
It is not surprising that some families have tried to keep some relationships quiet over the years. Sir Vivian Richards’ family was less than delighted when they found that they had to include the reprobate drug addict, Keith, on their Christmas card list. You can imagine Desmond Haynes’ chagrin when he found he was the nephew of the fifties comedian, Arthur. Peter Parfitt was having a giggle one afternoon on sadoldrockers.com but he was rudely brought down to earth when he came face to face with his brother Rick of Status Quo fame.
During a Charity match at Arundel last season Rob Turner, Nigel Ross and Nick Knight were flabbergasted when they were asked over the public address system at the tea interval to come to the VIP marquee to meet their long lost sisters Tina, Diana and Gladys who had decided to pay them a surprise visit.
It was on the hairdressing website, goldilocks.com that coiffurists Chad and Kevin Keegan found that they had more than barnet vanity in common. Few would have suspected that the Radio Two DJ Pete Murray had cricketing genes, but extensive research on crouchingforaliving.com reveals that he spawned no less than three international wicket keepers: John, Deryck and David.
Match Report-Second Time Unlucky
In G&C 15 I recounted how South Hampstead got to play at Lords in the final of the first Wills Trophy. In the following year, 1969, the Legendary Len Stubbs had taken over from Bob Peach as captain and he led the side once again to the final, this time against Ealing in a match that was played at Finchley CC. The South Hampstead side showed several changes from the previous year with Ian Jerman, Ron Hooker, Allen Bruton and myself replacing George Cole, John Tutton, Robin Ager and Alan Cox.
Unlike the previous year the weather was warm and sunny and after Ealing had won the toss, Brian Stevens and Brian Puddephatt made a sedate start against Bill Hart and Ian Jerman but then Stevens set about our attack, scoring freely particularly off Ron Hooker and it was a great relief when Bill Hart bowled him for 61. However, the tempo had been set and either side of lunch first Roberts with 37 and then Alan Heighes with 33 kept Puddephatt company. He was an infuriating batsman to play against. He was ungainly but effective in defence and appeared to have no attacking shots at all. It probably helped his technique that South Hampstead had not previously had a fixture against Finchley and were unfamiliar with their ground, which was long and consequently had huge boundaries down to third man and long leg at each end. Consequently Puddephatt scored endless singles and twos. He finished on 102 not out in an innings that included only four fours, but more significantly their total from the fifty-five overs was 264 for 4.
This was a big total back in those days but South Hampstead had a strong batting line up and we thought that we could get close if we batted well. Bob Peach opened with Terry Cordaroy and they added 31 before Bob was run out. This brought me to the crease and I survived Terry who was out for 29 and Len Stubbs who made 56 but I was run out when Ron Hooker joined me. I felt at the time that I had batted too slowly and made things difficult for those who followed but was pleasantly surprised to see in the scorebook that my 33 had been made off only 32 balls. I was forgetting that when you batted with the Legendary Len Stubbs you, quite rightly, didn’t see much of the strike. When he had it he kept it and when you got it you took a quick single as soon as possible.
When Bob Fisher caught Ron for 11 we were 150 for 5, but Ian Jerman joined John Matthews in a spirited stand that took us past 200, but after Matthews was caught by John Poore off John Linley, Hatchett returned to clean up the tail. We were bowled out for 236 with Jerman ninth out for 43. So for the second year running we were beaten at the final hurdle.
The runners up, left to right: Don Wallis, Allen Bruton, Peter Dickson(twelfth man), Bob Peach, John Matthews, Terry Cordaroy, Jim Sharp, Ron Hooker, Len Stubbs, Bill Hart, Ian Jerman and Harold Stubbs.
Indian Matters
In 1988, when he was still only fourteen years old, Sachin Tendulkar shared a partnership of 664 with Vinod Kambli for their school side in the Harris Shield competition. Tendulkar scored 329 not out whilst Kambli, who is two years his senior, was unbeaten on 349. Memories of this event were revived in December when Shishir Tiwari and Sufian Shaikh added 531 for the fifth wicket for their school side in the same competition.
Tiwari scored 318 whilst Shaikh was 202 not out. Earlier in the same innings Ansan Salim had scored 289. The Anjuman-I-Islam Fort English school finally declared on 989 for 6. However, under the rules of the competition the opposition bowled only 89 overs which was eleven less than their allotment and were, therefore, penalized 12 runs per over for the unbowled overs which boosted the batting side’s total to 1121.
Tendulkar at the same time was busy creating three new records for himself in the test match at Dhaka against Bangla Desh. His 248 not out was his highest test match score, his century equaled Sunil Gavaskar’s record of 34 test match centuries and his partnership with Zaheer Khan was worth 133 for the tenth wicket. Zaheer Khan was the dominant partner in this last wicket stand and his score of 75 was the highest for a test match number 11, beating Richard Collinge’s 68 not out. This last record had been under threat the previous month by none other than Glen McGrath who had scored an unlikely 54 against New Zealand.
Irritating trends in modern cricket-number 24 Some terminology just grates and besides cricket balls do not “jag”. It is not even a verb. They may swing, seam or spin but they do not jag.
Strange Elevens
Full marks have been awarded to Paul Kilvington who came up with this response to the Strange XI which appeared in the last edition: “The "Strange XI" are all players, qualified for England, who have played for Yorkshire but were not born in Yorkshire. Incidentally, seven of these (Vaughan, Richardson, Lumb, Hamilton, Swanepoel, Gray and Kirby) all turned out for Yorkshire in the 2003 season, as did Stephen Fleming, Yuvraj Singh and Damien Martyn. Yorkshire could have actually therefore fielded an XI containing nine players not born in Yorkshire that season. What would Fred have said? The drawback with your XI is there is no wicket-keeper.” The Great Jack Morgan noted that “they were all of recent vintage and (as I was omitting official overseas players), Greg Lambert was the only other player with the right credentials, unless you go right back to Lord Hawke or someone”.
The generosity of the Great Jack Morgan knows no bounds and he has produced three Jazz Hat sides for you to ponder this month. The common link is similar for each side but sufficiently different to separate them:
Team A Team B Team C
Cyril Washbrook Mickey Stewart Gordon Greenidge
Raman Subba Row Graham Dowling Ian Redpath
Tony Lewis David Steele Bert Sutcliffe
Denis Compton Geoff Howarth Brian Booth
Doug Insole Basil D’Oliveira Jeremy Coney
Brian Close Alec Stewart (w/k) Keith Miller
Trevor Bailey John Reid Ian Smith (w/k)
Ray Illingworth Dermot Reeve Fred Titmus
Alan Smith (w/k) Richie Benaud Norman Gifford
Andy Roberts Ian Johnson Joel Garner
Brian Statham Fred Trueman Bob Willis
He encouragingly suggests that if you get one, you’ll get all three.
Earlier Editions
I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 25
January 2005
England Matters
I am finding myself having to review my skeptical view of the England team. They are starting to look like a seriously successful outfit in that they are performing above the sum of the parts. They have developed a team spirit that allows them to transcend set backs and go on to ground the opposition down and eventually win comfortably. There always seems to be someone ready to step up when others don’t deliver. The best batsman, Vaughan, rarely makes a significant contribution with the bat but they never seem to be short of runs. Last summer, Harmison emerged as a world class strike bowler but when he didn’t deliver the goods Flintoff or Giles stepped up. In Port Elizabeth Harmison was rusty but first Hoggard and then Jones stepped into the breach.
It seems likely that they will win comfortably in South Africa and go on to annihilate Bangla Desh but how will they fare in the Ashes series? I have seen several Man for Man assessments in the press that seem extraordinarily generous to the English counterparts. Strauss is ranked the equivalent of Langer despite the fact that the latter scored the most test runs in 2004, nearly twice as many as Strauss. Langer has made three test double centuries and Strauss is yet to play a big one. They rank Vaughan the same as Martyn, apparently completely ignoring recent form. They also suggest that Giles is almost as valuable as Warne. These pundits could be in for a rude awakening next summer.
The real test will be whether the England team can withstand the inevitable set backs against such daunting opposition. If last year was anything to go by, Warne could be turning the ball square at Lords and if he does he will be a serious handful. There is also the problem of Gilchrist cutting loose in mid innings at say 350-5, when both bowlers and fielders are already tired.
The England team has become a force to be reckoned with and it promises to be the best Ashes series for years. But unless England show resilience from the outset they could easily find recent history repeating itself all too familiarly.
Bush Matters
Brian Howard sent me this: “The Bush had a dinner a couple of weeks ago to raise funds for the pavilion on the new ground. The dinner was a great success with some 200 people in attendance who helped to raise approx £16k. Mike Gatting was the guest speaker. You will see from the photo which is taken from Bromyard Avenue that the new ground is just a six hit from the old through the trees to the right. From where I am in Peterborough now the Bush seem in very good hands. Many seem to think that the new ground will be better in terms of setting and quality than the old ground. The Club hopes to have the pavilion built by early season 2005, subject to finalising and pulling together all the funding sources.”
From the Professor’s Armchair
At the beginning of December I emailed the Professor: “The moment of truth is approaching and our smoothly oiled machine suddenly seems unprepared for the task ahead. Still they have only had three months to prepare. Any thoughts?” He replied:
I don’t think there is any need for panic. We may, of course, get thrashed, but I’m rather more optimistic about the series. We seem to have had a talent over the years for losing the “warm up” games (and often the following Tests as well). What this week has shown, should we need showing, is that the people who arrange these things never seem to be able to organise a sensible itinerary. Given the absurdity of the Zimbabwean business I suppose it’s no great surprise. I recall a disingenuous rant from the right wing press of the 1960s that we should “keep politics out of sport”. I think that was at the time when the MCC had just decided that 150 in the final test was not good enough to get Basil D’Olivera on the plane to South Africa. A purely cricketing decision. Now sport (and particularly cricket) is only about politics and of course its handmaiden, money. Just what, exactly, was the cricketing purpose of the Zimbabwe tour? Will anybody ever remember the result…or care? The gutless gerontocrats of the 1960s have their faithful successors in the current administration.
Incidentally, I see in today’s paper, that there is a “debate” in the ECB as to whether all cricket broadcasting for the foreseeable future should be sold to Sky. Apparently this will be a more lucrative deal than having some “terrestrial” coverage and is thus supported by the avaricious counties who need the money to pay for their overseas players. We will thus soon move to the happy position where cricket in England is contested by people who can’t play for England and is watched by people who don’t live here.
As for South Africa, as I said to you before, when I was there in September there was much depression about their chances against England. I’m going to stick my neck out (and invite you to do the same) and suggest that the depression is well founded and we will come away with no worse than a draw from the series.
And then he sent me this
Normally to have been shown to be prescient brings a warm, smug (if somewhat rare) feeling. Not so with this however. Can the county bosses who make up the ECB show their contempt for the public in any clearer way than to sell cricket for the foreseeable future to Sky? Their attempted justifications of "the interests of cricket" are as facile as they are transparent. Their only concern is the interests of their own county clubs. In five years time one of these myopic invertebrates will be holding aloft the county championship trophy and beaming self-satisfaction...and hardly anyone else in England will know or care.
I responded
The good thing about Sky is that scheduling isn't a problem. They cover without interruption and give extensive highlights in the evening. They enable the start to be after dawn and can incl ude any extension of play necessitated by the appallingly slow over rates of modern cricket. Nevertheless, it seems a pity that access to it is limited to those with the wherewithal and inclination to subscribe to Uncle Rupert's magnificent offering. Perhaps Blair should make it compulsory for everyone to subscribe, like they do with the BBC, which would solve the problem.
And he came back:
The bad thing about Sky is: 1. Very few people have it 2. It is too expensive for many 3. It necessitates one of those ridiculous dish things which many would not want to put on their house and some, in conservation areas, are not allowed to 4. It has endless inane commercials at the end of the over and as soon as anyone is out. If a wicket falls in the first ball of a new over we have a splendid opportunity for about five minutes of the crap. 5. It has more than its fair share of inane commentators. The only good thing I can think about it is Tim Abraham, who is a friend of mine and a, not very good, WGCCC player. I couldn’t let him get away with this:
Such petulance does not become you Professor. The black dishes are surely more elegant than the old fashioned aerials, or do you have cable now that you have returned to city dwelling? The commentators are no worse than provided by any of the other channels. Unfortunately few of them have played the modern game and so don't know what they are talking about. The exception is our old friend Nass who talks much sense albeit in the modern idiom. I find that they handle the advertising quite well and it is no more intrusive than with Channel 4's coverage. Your pal Abraham always seems hungover, is this just an act or is he an alcoholic?
To which I received an academic bollocking:
Something of a confusion of analysis and opinion here James. Of my 5 points: 1 and 2 are uncontested. 3 is "refuted" by the reference to the ugliness of aerials. While the latter are surely ugly this is hardly a recommendation for the former. Do you prefer to be hanged or strangled?
The comparison in 4 is with other "commercial" stations that peddle the loathsome ads. I find them intrusive, endlessly repetitive (they seem only to advertise cars and booze, i.e. "Men’s things") and generally repugnant. As for 5, the Beeb's televising of cricket is so long ago that it is hard to remember the commentators but in general I think there is much to be said for the silence of the Benaud as against the hysteria of Greig. There now - how about that for a hydrated analytical discourse?
Anyway...what about the win in Port Elizabeth? I always knew that our South Africans were better than their South Africans.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan sent me these notes on personnel matters at Lords
I am assuming that the openers in 2005 will be Hutton and Smith. Smith hasn’t done it much in recent years, but used to do it regularly, while Hutton is one of those who thinks he should bat at five and never wanted to open. Hutton has made a success of the job, however, and will probably have to continue in the role unless Emburey allows him to pull rank now that he is skipper. None of the others (Shah, Joyce, Weekes, Nash (assuming he is keeping) and Styris (I’m guessing, but he has never opened to my knowledge)) will want to open, so if someone has to be pressed into service, it might have to be Dalrymple. I am fairly happy with the signing of Alan Richardson; he always struck me as a useful bowler, but he has drifted out of the Warwicks team in the last couple of years, which is why they were willing to release him. I do not know whether this was due to injury or poor form, but either way, it is a bit worrying in someone who is nearly 30. On the other hand, they had to bring someone in. Hayward’s fitness has been fairly good, but Betts, Hutchison and now Keegan are all unreliable. Wright and Whelan show promise, but they are on steep learning curves and it would be really worrying if they both had to thrown in at the same time. Richardson had also begun to reveal unsuspected skills with the bat.
Project Salvation The professor is keen to re-focus our attention on this important topic
As I recall it, the early editions of G&C focused on "Project Salvation”. You seem to have gone quiet on that front, presumably because of the current run of good form of the national side. (How quickly we forget that we lost the Ashes in 11 days). However the recent sell off/sell-out by the ECB of the TV rights brings the focus back again to the long term. Most people would, I guess, take the view that the success of the national side was central to the long-term future of the game, but now, even if they are successful, few people will see it.
This weekend "the Observer" ran a two-page spread on the sell-out and a couple of points were well made by someone called Barrie Stuart-King who is "Chief Executive" of the "National Recreational Cricket Conference". I'd not heard of either Mr. Stuart-King or the NRCC (unless it is the new title for the Club Cricket Conference) but he says this:
"In the past ten years there has been a drop of 40% in the numbers of recreational cricketers" and,
"The ECB isn't really a governing body at all, not like the RFU or the FA. It is a private members' club with 18 members - the first-class counties."
I rather think there might be some connection between those two statements (as does Mr. S-K). But this latest bit of veniality shows that the ECB has no interest in cricket in this country beyond their own status on their county committees. The attitude of Giles Clark (the ECB's "Marketing Chief”!) exemplifies the problem. People who are arguing for terrestrial coverage are, he is quoted as saying, "talking drivel ...and not looking at modern trends". I think one useful modern trend would be to get rid of Mr. Clark and his venial bosses. I think you need to revive "Salvation", and the salvation English cricket seeks is to be saved from its self-appointed Board.
Doosra Matters
Who does Chris Broad think he is? He never bowled throughout his career but has taken it upon himself to be the judge of the most difficult delivery devised in the history of the game and is rapidly becoming the most unpopular figure in world cricket, at least on the sub continent. It was he who reported Murali for throwing his Doosra in 2003 that led to its being banned and Murali’s subsequent failure to join his teammates in Australia. Although how you ban a particular delivery is beyond my comprehension. Presumably the call has to be made by the umpire at the bowler’s end and he waits to see which way the ball has turned before retrospectively calling no ball when appropriate?
Flushed with this success Broad has now decided that he is the arbiter of the Doosra and its fairness. Following their release of the injured Saqlain, Surrey signed up Harbajhan Singh this winter to mesmerize next year’s opposition at the Oval. However, Harbajhan was so successful against Australia recently that Match Referee Broad had a serious look at his Doosra and decided that indeed it was being thrown and has subsequently reported it to the ICC. Where does this leave Surrey? When they agreed terms with Harbajhan they presumably expected his full box of tricks to be available to them. If he now has to leave his Doosra in the dressing room will they only have to pay half his salary?
As for any readers who have secretly been developing their own Doosra this winter, you had better check out who is in the pavilion before you unveil it next summer. If the Doosra Doctor Broad is in attendance you will undoubtedly get reported.
Hong Kong Matters
England are World Champions! Well at least in the strange world of Six a Side cricket, played in the miniscule ground in Hong Kong. They retained their title beating Sri Lanka in the final. Sri Lanka scored 61-4 in their allotted overs and England then knocked them off in 3.1 overs, with Kabir Ali scoring 34 from eleven balls.
Meanwhile, the Hong Kong League comprises matches of thirty-five overs per side. In a recent game the Pakistani, Hussain Butt, scored 311 not out for Hong Kong University against Hong Kong CC Nomads. His innings contained no less than thirty-six sixes and accounted for twelve lost balls. At least two of the sixes hit cars passing the ground and others threatened tennis players on a nearby court. My batting at Milverton Road was never a threat to either.
Funny Hats
In the days before pyjama cricket headgear for cricketers fell into two quite distinct camps. On the one hand there was the highly conservative plain, dark coloured cap with perhaps just a club emblem on the front. The England cap epitomised this being navy blue with the England badge to the fore. Most county caps were of similar design and indeed club caps largely followed suit. When South Hampstead introduced a new club cap in the sixties it was dark blue but rather than the club badge on the front it had an S overlaying an H. It is a sign of those times that this caused quite a stir and was considered rather strange since it could be mistaken for a dollar sign. Conservatism was everything.
At the other end of the spectrum was the Jazz hat beloved of public school wandering sides and other itinerant clubs such as I Zingari, MCC and the Stoics. When I played for the London Schools side I was delighted to be awarded my cap, which had red and white hoops and a red peak. However, I was unable to wear it other than in this select band because of the ridicule rained upon me in other environments.
Some players did manage to have a foot in both camps. The ridiculousness of a Jazz hat could be overcome if enough members of a non-Jazz hat side were also members of a Jazz hat-touting band. At South Hampstead a number of players were also members of the Wanderers. So if Don Wallis, when rummaging for socks in his famous huge suitcase, accidentally let slip a brown and green segmented cap he was more likely to get away with it because several other members of the side were Wanderers too. To put in perspective the scorn heaped upon the Jazz hat consider this: the same Don Wallis would turn up for Wednesday XI matches straight from the city wearing a bowler hat which more or less escaped comment completely.
Separated Since Birth
It all started a few years back when the Guardian published an article disclosing that Paul Gazza Gascoigne was indeed the son of Bamber, the smooth intellectual game show host. Since then the Internet has enabled many friends and family members to find each other after many years apart. Alumni websites and others such as Friends Reunited are the normal avenues for such activities, but equally chat rooms and other websites can provide a similar service.
It was on deceasedbluessingers.com that Michael Vaughan discovered his cousin Stevie Ray, an axman par excellence, but who sadly never played cricket. Interestingly George thinks that Peg Leg bears a striking resemblance to his Great Uncle Frankie.
It was their common love of football that brought long lost brothers Rod and Alec Stewart back together when they bumped into each other on the Chelsea website. Why did Stuart Law leave Essex for Lancashire? It was when he found that his Uncle Dennis had played there for both Manchester football clubs. It was on irishexpats.com that Middlesex’ Ed Joyce made the scary discovery that his great Grandfather was none other than the wordsmith James.
Imagine their surprise when Martin Love and James Anderson were cruising porn websites together during a rain stoppage and discovered their long lost sisters Courtney and Pamela. During another rain break, this time at Cardiff when Glamorgan were playing Gloucestershire, Steve James and Tim Hancock were messing about on fiftiesradiocomics.com only to find that their blood lines had produced new uncles in Sid and Tony respectively. They are yet to tell Vic Marks about his uncle Alfred.
It is not surprising that some families have tried to keep some relationships quiet over the years. Sir Vivian Richards’ family was less than delighted when they found that they had to include the reprobate drug addict, Keith, on their Christmas card list. You can imagine Desmond Haynes’ chagrin when he found he was the nephew of the fifties comedian, Arthur. Peter Parfitt was having a giggle one afternoon on sadoldrockers.com but he was rudely brought down to earth when he came face to face with his brother Rick of Status Quo fame.
During a Charity match at Arundel last season Rob Turner, Nigel Ross and Nick Knight were flabbergasted when they were asked over the public address system at the tea interval to come to the VIP marquee to meet their long lost sisters Tina, Diana and Gladys who had decided to pay them a surprise visit.
It was on the hairdressing website, goldilocks.com that coiffurists Chad and Kevin Keegan found that they had more than barnet vanity in common. Few would have suspected that the Radio Two DJ Pete Murray had cricketing genes, but extensive research on crouchingforaliving.com reveals that he spawned no less than three international wicket keepers: John, Deryck and David.
Match Report-Second Time Unlucky
In G&C 15 I recounted how South Hampstead got to play at Lords in the final of the first Wills Trophy. In the following year, 1969, the Legendary Len Stubbs had taken over from Bob Peach as captain and he led the side once again to the final, this time against Ealing in a match that was played at Finchley CC. The South Hampstead side showed several changes from the previous year with Ian Jerman, Ron Hooker, Allen Bruton and myself replacing George Cole, John Tutton, Robin Ager and Alan Cox.
Unlike the previous year the weather was warm and sunny and after Ealing had won the toss, Brian Stevens and Brian Puddephatt made a sedate start against Bill Hart and Ian Jerman but then Stevens set about our attack, scoring freely particularly off Ron Hooker and it was a great relief when Bill Hart bowled him for 61. However, the tempo had been set and either side of lunch first Roberts with 37 and then Alan Heighes with 33 kept Puddephatt company. He was an infuriating batsman to play against. He was ungainly but effective in defence and appeared to have no attacking shots at all. It probably helped his technique that South Hampstead had not previously had a fixture against Finchley and were unfamiliar with their ground, which was long and consequently had huge boundaries down to third man and long leg at each end. Consequently Puddephatt scored endless singles and twos. He finished on 102 not out in an innings that included only four fours, but more significantly their total from the fifty-five overs was 264 for 4.
This was a big total back in those days but South Hampstead had a strong batting line up and we thought that we could get close if we batted well. Bob Peach opened with Terry Cordaroy and they added 31 before Bob was run out. This brought me to the crease and I survived Terry who was out for 29 and Len Stubbs who made 56 but I was run out when Ron Hooker joined me. I felt at the time that I had batted too slowly and made things difficult for those who followed but was pleasantly surprised to see in the scorebook that my 33 had been made off only 32 balls. I was forgetting that when you batted with the Legendary Len Stubbs you, quite rightly, didn’t see much of the strike. When he had it he kept it and when you got it you took a quick single as soon as possible.
When Bob Fisher caught Ron for 11 we were 150 for 5, but Ian Jerman joined John Matthews in a spirited stand that took us past 200, but after Matthews was caught by John Poore off John Linley, Hatchett returned to clean up the tail. We were bowled out for 236 with Jerman ninth out for 43. So for the second year running we were beaten at the final hurdle.
The runners up, left to right: Don Wallis, Allen Bruton, Peter Dickson(twelfth man), Bob Peach, John Matthews, Terry Cordaroy, Jim Sharp, Ron Hooker, Len Stubbs, Bill Hart, Ian Jerman and Harold Stubbs.
Indian Matters
In 1988, when he was still only fourteen years old, Sachin Tendulkar shared a partnership of 664 with Vinod Kambli for their school side in the Harris Shield competition. Tendulkar scored 329 not out whilst Kambli, who is two years his senior, was unbeaten on 349. Memories of this event were revived in December when Shishir Tiwari and Sufian Shaikh added 531 for the fifth wicket for their school side in the same competition.
Tiwari scored 318 whilst Shaikh was 202 not out. Earlier in the same innings Ansan Salim had scored 289. The Anjuman-I-Islam Fort English school finally declared on 989 for 6. However, under the rules of the competition the opposition bowled only 89 overs which was eleven less than their allotment and were, therefore, penalized 12 runs per over for the unbowled overs which boosted the batting side’s total to 1121.
Tendulkar at the same time was busy creating three new records for himself in the test match at Dhaka against Bangla Desh. His 248 not out was his highest test match score, his century equaled Sunil Gavaskar’s record of 34 test match centuries and his partnership with Zaheer Khan was worth 133 for the tenth wicket. Zaheer Khan was the dominant partner in this last wicket stand and his score of 75 was the highest for a test match number 11, beating Richard Collinge’s 68 not out. This last record had been under threat the previous month by none other than Glen McGrath who had scored an unlikely 54 against New Zealand.
Irritating trends in modern cricket-number 24 Some terminology just grates and besides cricket balls do not “jag”. It is not even a verb. They may swing, seam or spin but they do not jag.
Strange Elevens
Full marks have been awarded to Paul Kilvington who came up with this response to the Strange XI which appeared in the last edition: “The "Strange XI" are all players, qualified for England, who have played for Yorkshire but were not born in Yorkshire. Incidentally, seven of these (Vaughan, Richardson, Lumb, Hamilton, Swanepoel, Gray and Kirby) all turned out for Yorkshire in the 2003 season, as did Stephen Fleming, Yuvraj Singh and Damien Martyn. Yorkshire could have actually therefore fielded an XI containing nine players not born in Yorkshire that season. What would Fred have said? The drawback with your XI is there is no wicket-keeper.” The Great Jack Morgan noted that “they were all of recent vintage and (as I was omitting official overseas players), Greg Lambert was the only other player with the right credentials, unless you go right back to Lord Hawke or someone”.
The generosity of the Great Jack Morgan knows no bounds and he has produced three Jazz Hat sides for you to ponder this month. The common link is similar for each side but sufficiently different to separate them:
Team A Team B Team C
Cyril Washbrook Mickey Stewart Gordon Greenidge
Raman Subba Row Graham Dowling Ian Redpath
Tony Lewis David Steele Bert Sutcliffe
Denis Compton Geoff Howarth Brian Booth
Doug Insole Basil D’Oliveira Jeremy Coney
Brian Close Alec Stewart (w/k) Keith Miller
Trevor Bailey John Reid Ian Smith (w/k)
Ray Illingworth Dermot Reeve Fred Titmus
Alan Smith (w/k) Richie Benaud Norman Gifford
Andy Roberts Ian Johnson Joel Garner
Brian Statham Fred Trueman Bob Willis
He encouragingly suggests that if you get one, you’ll get all three.
Earlier Editions
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