GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 105
September 2011
Out and About with the Professor
I wonder if Googlies pays enough attention to club cricket? I don’t mean club cricket of 40 years’ ago when the sun always shined and cricket in Middlesex was apparently better than anywhere else in the Country (we pay a lot of attention to that) but contemporary club cricket – club cricket: “in England, now”.
The two clubs I am closely involved with: Welwyn Garden City and Harrogate have both had mixed seasons and, as a result, are both mid-table in their respective leagues. Both play in ECB Premier Leagues and, as far as I am able to judge, the standard looks pretty similar. The Solly Sports (no less) Yorkshire League often features players who go on to play for the County (I have seen a number over the past few years) but so does (perhaps to a lesser extent) the Home Counties Premier League. The presence, in the Yorkshire set up, of a CountyAcademy side more or less ensures that you will see some future County first team players. However, the standard seems more variable than in the Home Counties, perhaps because there are more teams or perhaps because of the absence of promotion and relegation. In Yorkshire they play a shorter game - 110 overs as against 120 – (well the days are shorter) and they have an impenetrable points system which gives points for “incomplete wins” and (obviously) “incomplete losses”. Indeed you can get two, one, or no points for the latter, dependant on the degree of incompleteness. Since for the last few years York have won the title (a la Ealing) and they regularly win the most games (completely) it doesn’t seem to matter; but it is extraordinary how league committees around the country have, over many years, come up with a myriad of different “solutions” to essentially the same problem. I recall that when I first played in Hertfordshire, teams could get “winning draws”; a delightful oxymoron which could only have been authored by a committee.
Harrogate are a once proud side that had a full County fixture and a resultant “festival”. Those days are long gone and the team would probably have been relegated a few years’ ago had that been an option. But they are now on the way back. They have a decent side and an excellent new pavilion which was opened last week by the local (well Pontefract) hero, Tim Bresnan. To celebrate they had a triumphant “incomplete win” (I’m not making this up) against Scarborough. They, of course, still have both county matches and a festival and following the club match I went to the North Marine Parade ground to see Yorkshire put Sussex to the sword in a 40 over match, in which Rudolph got a majestic hundred and Bairstow celebrated his England elevation by hitting Panesar out of the ground on a couple of occasions. Bairstow almost managed to hit the ball over the stands and between the houses at the northern end of the ground. This is a prized achievement because the ball then ends up in Trafalgar Square. Scarborough, so I’m told, has the biggest permanent seating capacity of any non-Test match ground. It must be strange (and numbingly cold) playing a club match there in April but on this day the sun was beating down, the ground was packed and my (adopted) team was winning.
Welwyn Garden City’s season seems to have pivoted around cricket week which we hold in the first week of July. Up to that date the first team had not won a match. On the Friday of cricket week we had a Ball to celebrate the Club’s 90th anniversary. I did not have high hopes of the result the following morning since, when I left the Ball after midnight a number of the first team were having difficulty focussing. Anyone who has played club cricket knows the sequel – the following morning the openers put on 280 for the first wicket and, notwithstanding a hiccup last weekend, they haven’t stopped winning since.
I would take WGC to beat Harrogate (quite easily) but York would be a much tougher test. I think a knock-out competition between the winners of the twenty or so ECB Premier Leagues would be both a very worthwhile enterprise and provide some interesting comparisons.
Another opportunity for making these sorts of judgements came along last week in the form of the Minor Counties Cup Final at Lords. The match was between Hertfordshire and Berkshire (aka WGC v. Henley, since nine of the Herts side either are or were recently WGC members and eight of the Berks side had played for Henley). Rain delayed the start, the overs were reduced and it always looked a good toss to win. In the event the Herts total 194-9 in their 36 overs looked a little short and so it proved. Peploe and Shaun Udal both bowled their overs tidily (Udal went for 37 from his 7 and Peploe 38 from his 8) But neither looked too terrifying. Given that the last long spell I had seen Udal bowl was in Mumbai, where he bowled out India, I though it gave some more support to my view that the gap between club cricket at a top level and that played by professionals, while still considerable, is less than it was in those sunlit days of 40 years’ ago.
Middlesex matters
The Great Jack Morgan is pleased that County Cricket recommenced in August
The Lord's wicket for the Championship match against Derbyshire was the least green so far this season (because the wicket for the Kent match was reported?) and persuaded Middlesex to include both Tom Smith and Jamie Dalrymple in the Championship for the first time. Captain Luke Sutton also liked the look of the pitch and chose to bat. There was still some help for the pace bowlers, however, as Tim Murtagh proved by dismissing Kiwi Test player Martin Guptill with the first ball of the match and quickly reducing Derbys to14 for 3. Following the noon start, Steve Finn arrived at 1.45pm after spending about 5 minutes with the England squad at Trent Bridge and promptly took a wicket with his third ball, thus concluding an entertaining stand of 114 for the fourth wicket between Wes Durston (61, with 8 fours and a six) and Greg Smith (56 off 70 balls) and another flurry of wickets saw the visitors descend to 165 for 6. It was then left to Ross Whiteley (56, with 6 fours and 2 sixes) to guide the tail to a respectable total, which he was achieving nicely when he was last out at 252. Murtagh finished with 4 for 45, Finny with 3 for 51 and Smithy picked up 3 for 38.
Scott Newman (59 off 80 balls with 9 fours) and Sam Robson got Middlesex off to an excellent start until Newman fell early on day two with the score on 119. Robson found another fine partner in Dawid Malan in a third wicket partnership of 66 before Robbo departed for 94; it was the third time this season that Sam had finished on 94, but on the other two occasions he was not out as Middlesex achieved victory targets. Malan's form had actually been quite ordinary, but he looked in top nick on this occasion as he dominated the remainder of the innings and went on to a magnificent 143 with 18 fours. Several partners looked as if they would collaborate in a major stand, but none could contribute more than 19 and Middlesex were all out for 405, giving them a healthy lead of 153. For both Newman and Malan it was the first time they had passed 50 in the Championship this season; let's hope it marks a return to form for both of them. Tall seamer John Clare was the most successful of the Derbys bowlers with 4 for 69, while Smith took 3 for 76 with his off spin.
The visitors started better than they had done in the first innings, reaching 20 this time before their third wicket went down. They were now in very deep trouble and there were two different approaches to this problem: Chesney Hughes (44) and Whiteley (41) adopted attritional tactics, while Smith (45 off 58 balls with 6 fours) and Clare (37 off 42 balls with 6 fours) went on the attack. Both methods had some success, but the largest stand of the innings was the 78 that Hughes and Smith added for the fourth wicket and Derbys were all out for an inadequate 243. It was no surprise to see Murts (3 for 58 and 7 for 103 in the match) and Finn (3 for 59 and 6 for 110 in the match) among the wickets, but more surprising to see Dalrymple snap up 3 for 21, giving the spin twins 7 wickets between them in the match, a rare delight. Middlesex started day 4 needing 91 to win, but the three stars of the first innings (who scored 73% of those 405 runs) were all back in the pavilion with only 25 scored. However, the phlegmatic Chris Rogers (46* off 55 balls with 7 fours) and the stylish Neil Dexter (29* off 36 balls with 6 fours) saw Middlesex home by 7 wickets without further alarm. Middlesex 23 points Derbyshire 5.
After the complete morning's play had been lost to drizzly rain on the first day of the Championship match at Lord's between Middlesex and Northamptonshire, it was no surprise that visiting skipper Andrew Hall should decide to bowl first in the damp and dull conditions and on the same track that had been used for the previous day's CB40 match. Scott Newman, however, looked in fine form right from the start and, finding a useful partner in Chris Rogers, the pair put on 101 for the second wicket before Newman was run out for a sparkling 75 off 115 balls with 11 fours and a six. Rogers took over the dominant role after Newman's departure, but he could form no partnerships of any substance as ex-Middlesex man Chaminda Vaas (5 for 76) swept away Malan, Dexter and Dalrymple while only 18 were added; and when Rogers himself fell for a fine 67 off 108 balls with 11 fours just before the close of day 1, Middlesex were in deep trouble at 185 for 6. John Simpson, however, took on a sheet anchor role and, getting some assistance from Toby Roland-Jones (24) and Tim Murtagh (27), he steered Middlesex to a respectable 317 all out. Simpson finished with a creditable 61 with 7 fours and James Middlebrook deserves a mention for his accurate spell of off-spin, 22-10-36-2.
Murtagh and Corey Collymore found plenty of help in the pitch at the start of the Northants innings and it appeared to be only a matter of time before the wickets tumbled, but no luck whatsoever went Middlesex's way. Experienced openers Steve Peters and Mal Loye ignored the edges and the air shots and had amassed a stand of 158 before Steve Crook finally got rid of Peters for 75 with 12 fours. Loye went on to 87 with 15 fours and six other batsmen chipped in with 23 or more, but only keeper Niall O'Brien (50 with 6 fours) managed more than 32 as the innings closed on 399. Crook's assortment of swingers and bouncers brought him figures of 5 for 94, while Jamie Dalrymple performed the Middlebrook role with 22-10-43-2. Although the day had been mainly sunny, Middlesex suffered more ill luck in having to start their second innings in appalling light and Newman and Sam Robson quickly succumbed to Vaas, but the light had improved before Malan and Dexter lost their wickets (criminally in the case of the captain) to Hall to leave Middlesex in desperate trouble at 31 for 4, still 51 behind. Fortunately, the ideal man for a rescue operation, Rogers, was still there and Dalrymple (23) helped him add 57 for the fifth wicket. More durable support came from Simpson, playing his second long and sensible innings of the match as the pair put on 188 for the sixth wicket before Rogers fell for a brilliant 145 with 19 fours and 2 sixes. Middlesex were still not absolutely safe at this point, but I felt confident because Northants were showing little of the spirit or urgency expected of a team who were going for the win, mainly because their trump card Vaas (8 for 127 in the match) was insufficiently fit or enthusiastic to finish Middlesex off and give his side the chance of victory. Simpson went on to 72 with 9 fours as Middlesex closed on 313 for 8 declared and achieved the draw that was the height of their ambition following the debacle at the start of their second innings. County caps were awarded to Corey Collymore and Chris Rogers at lunchtime on day 2. Alex Wakely's name was spelt incorrectly on the scorecard and on the scoreboard throughout the match. Middx 8 points, Northants 10.
The London riots brought the starting time for the CB40 match between second placed Middlesex and bottom team Yorkshire forward to noon from the unacceptable 3.40pm, thus allowing me to see my only (first XI) limited overs match of the season. Skipper Neil Dexter won the toss, but decided to ask Yorks to bat in perfect batting conditions. Visiting captain Andrew Gale left with the score on 0, but that was a rare success for the Middlesex bowlers as Jacques Rudolph (40 off 50 balls), Tony McGrath (63 off 60 balls), Gary Ballance (34* off 24 balls including 2 sixes) and, especially, Jonny Bairstow with a brilliant 114 off 87 balls with 9 fours and 3 sixes, took Yorkshire up to the formidable total of 275 for 4 in their 40 overs. Middlesex started quickly but were always losing too many wickets. Paul Stirling hit an entertaining 68 off 47 balls with 10 fours and a six, but Middlesex slipped to 160 for 7 and appeared to have little chance of winning (despite their scoring rate still being ahead of Yorkshire’s). However, Steve Crook had other ideas and sharing a partnership of 66 with Tom Smith, he played his best innings for the club and his 61 off 40 balls with 5 fours and 2 sixes put Middlesex back in with an outside chance. It became all too much for the tail-enders to sustain the challenge, however and Middlesex subsided to 253 all out to lose by 22 runs. Adil Rashid (3 for 43) was the most successful bowler for Yorkshire as they lifted themselves off the bottom of the group table, but Middlesex's chances of progressing to the semi-finals were dealt a blow.
Canterbury Matters
I went with the Great Jack Morgan to Canterbury for the first day of the County Championship match between Kent and Middlesex. We met Jim Revier there who elected to go by train rather than travel with us. It was something to do with complying with his green credentials. Don’t ask, we didn’t. We arrived first and Jack soon located the spot he had ear marked to be our best vantage point to view the proceedings. He sat us down between the sight screen and a wateringhole which had some boxes at the higher level. After careful adjustment and saving a spot for Jim which included space accumulator tactics of placing bags on chairs between us we settled down to watch the cricket. Kent won the toss and elected to bat. It wasn’t long before one of their batsmen decided that it was necessary to have the sightscreen moved. This meant that the only way Jack and Jim could now see the scoreboard on the far side of the ground was by peering through the slats of the sightscreen.
But it wasn’t just at the far end that the batsmen asked for adjustment to the screens. The wicket was located at the west end of the square and the screen or rather screens at the far side of the ground were a series of white sheets on frames which were stuck into the ground. Those responsible for locating them had not done a particularly good job on getting them level and the overall effect was not unlike Widow Twankey’s laundry. Moving them was also fun and gave way to much merriment as the ground staff had to uplift a sheet from one end and carry it to the far end. This process continued until the batsman was satisfied.
Widow Twankey’s laundry at Canterbury
Meanwhile away from the sightscreens a cocktail party had commenced in the boxes to the left of us and somewhat surprisingly it was populated exclusively by young ladies. This meant that when the Revier/Morgan pair were not straining their necks one way to see the scoreboard they were craning them the other way to progress matters in the box.
The cocktail party gets underway
Meanwhile in the middle Murtagh and Collymore bowled well in the first hour containing Denly and Key without achieving a breakthrough. However, once Key was dismissed a flurry of wickets fell reducing Kent to 87 for 4. Stevens and Jones stopped the rot and played some pleasant shots but then another flurry of wickets fell and Kent found themselves on 155 for 8. Earlier in the season I had seen Middlesex struggle to finish the job off at Derby and the same thing happened here. It was difficult to tell who was captaining the side as fielders were despatched to all parts as new bowlers were tried to bowl Kent out. When Wazim Riaz joined Matthew Coles for the last wicket the latter was treated to field placings befitting Brian Lararather than the Kent number ten. If your overseas player is an international opening bowler surely the way to despatch the tail is to give him the ball, set appropriate attacking fields and let him do the job?
Jack said that he thought that Middlesex would have settled for Kent’s total at the start of play but Jim rued the 87 added for the last two wickets. And indeed he was right as the match unfurled over the ensuing days Middlesex contrived to give away their advantage and eventually lost by 63 runs.
Record Matters
Yorkshire batted first against Hampshire and made a respectable but slow 532 for 9 from 171 overs. In reply Mckenzie scored 234 but he was upstaged by Michael Carberry who scored 300 not out. The pair added a massive 523 for the third wicket. This was the highest stand for any Hampshire wicket. It was also the third largest stand ever in England and the ninth largest in first class history... anywhere!
In the first Lancashire innings Rikki Clarke, playing for Warwickshire, held two catches which was nothing very special but in the second he held an extraordinary seven. He was one short of Wally Hammond’s world record of ten in a match and equalled Mickey Stewart and Tony Brown’s seven in an innings.
PPS Matters
Could it be that Lord Ray is tastingthe delights of Humble Pie?
Death and taxes are as nothing compared with the appalling inevitability of Murphy's (or as many prefer it) Sod's Law. Inexorable is far too frivolous a word to apply to it. Naturally as night follows day or seabirds follow the trawler, once I said that the PPS had made his last significant runs for England, he was a racing certainty to make heavy runs. 200 odd not out, although it has to be said that he made very heavy weather of it for the first two-thirds of that innings despite being faced by a seriously depleted attack, was rubbing my face in it. But a century is a century is a century, and a double ton is twice as much and cannot be written off just like that, even if it was frequently ugly to watch and he might have been out quite a few times.
Do I now retract my words? No, I do not. I have opinions and have never been backward in giving them voice (some have noticed this) even if, as is quite often the case, they go against the trend. I am up against Boycott, whose views I greatly respect, and a good many others besides but I hold to my belief. In the Test just (magnificently) ended at Trent Bridge, the PPS made just 29 when the chips were down in the first dig. In the second innings, he left Bell to face the difficult music that came from Trott's incapacity to bat at a crucial time. The PPS contribution, when it came, ended too soon although he must have got his eye in but, fortunately Bell was in form.
Yes, the ball was doing something and yes, the pitch was not flat. (There was a time when that was hardly unusual). The reason I stick by what I said before is that, all too often, the PPS is still playing with his hands - that is, a good way in front of his body and certainly nowhere near under the head, although he looks good when he remembers to do that. In fairness, many of his extraordinary strokes are played in that unorthodox manner but, as one who got the odd wicket here and there, I always used to think that in the batsman's main strength also lies his weakness and that weakness may be exploited in two ways. You can either try to deny him the stroke(s) that is his strength or preferred run- scoring method and thus frustrate him into playing the shot at something unsuitable out of that frustration or, as has been shown with Tendulkar, you can bowl to that strength (in his case, in addition to others, the drive) but by pushing the line gradually wider you may induce the error.
With the PPS, though, it is he himself who is creating the chance of dismissal with no actual input from the bowler. The unorthodox batsman is an hostage to the good fortune which timing and eye represent. I think the cogs are no longer quite meshing as sweetly as they once were but, instead of modifying his game as many great players of the past have done, I think his ego will not allow that to happen, excellent though he may look when he reigns himself back.
James, your readers will look forward, no doubt, to my finding a lot more egg on my face - and it would be good for the England cause if that were so, of course - but I cannot convince myself that the PPS has it in him to remodel his method. That being so, I restate my belief.
(And, while I am at it, may I say that I always loved the challenge of bowling to Jukesy who could do unpleasant things to a bowler on his day. But I also loved the challenge of matching him in drinking afterwards, although I think he won all of those particular contests. Mind you, I always loved playing against the Bush who attracted so many delightful and talented people as, of course, did South Hampstead).
Red Mist Matters
The CB40 competition has produced some massive batting performances this season. Sussex led the way with an all but ten an over effort reaching 399 for 4 against Worcestershire at Horsham. Joyce and Gatting both hit hundreds and Sussex hit fourteen sixes between them. Worcestershire replied with a creditable 319 but still lost by 80 runs. Ali made 158 and hit seven sixes.
At Colwyn Bay Alviro Peterson hit ten sixes in his 144 for Glamorgan against Lancashire. The Australian, Stewart Walters, made 51 not out from just nineteen balls. This was a reduced overs match and Glamorgan reached 328 for 4 from 33 overs. Lancashire were bowled out for 259 from 30 overs.
On the final daty of the regional leagues season Durham made 325 for 9 at the Oval thanks primarily to an explosive start by Phil Mustard who blasted 66 from 31 balls. After ten overs Durham were 98 for 2 and a 400 score looked possible but they settled for 325 for 9 which was enough to defeat Surrey who made a creditable 289 in reply with some late ferocious hitting by Matthew Spriegel who made 86 from 57 balls with four sixes.
Second XI Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports from Guildford
In the Second XI Championship match at Guildford, Arun Harinath won the toss and elected to bat on a pitch that, as usual, was giving the seamers a little help and Surrey soon found themselves struggling at 14 for 2. Gary Wilson held the early batting together until he became one of Stuart Poynter's 3 victims behind the stumps after making 39 off 52 balls with 8 fours. Surrey had slumped to 120 for 7, however, and the only reason that they managed to reach a total of 181 was the useful innings played by South African James Crowson, batting at 7, who hit an undefeated 44 off 59 balls with 5 fours and a six. The Middlesex seamers shared 9 of the wickets with Robbie Williams taking 4 for 42 and Toby Rolling Stones, despite not looking quite back to his best, 3 for 35.
Right from the start of their innings, Middlesex looked far more composed than Surrey had done and openers captain Tom Scollay and Scottish international Josh Davey put on a fine 116 for the first wicket before Scollay departed for a classy 66 off 82 balls with 12 fours. Davey followed for a solid 48 and Paul Stirling, batting at 6, hit a quick 37 off 28 balls with 5 fours and a six, but at 235 for 6, Middlesex were not quite in the dominant position that they had hoped to be. This changed, however, as Poynter and Roland-Jones teamed up to add an excellent 120 for the seventh wicket before Poynter, playing the best innings that I have seen him play, fell for 68 off 97 balls with 6 fours and 2 sixes. Roland-Jones, also batting better than I had seen him before, kept going and lifted the total to 399 before he was last man out for 91 off 92 balls with 10 fours and 2 sixes. The Surrey spinners took eight of the wickets with Test leg spinner Chris Schofield leading the way with 4 for 71 and the other four being shared equally between slow left armer Fred van den Bergh and off-spinner Phil Mann.
Surrey openers keeper Rory Burns and skipper Harinath were untroubled at the start of the Surrey second innings, but Middlesex assisted them by persisting with their five pace bowlers, even though Surrey had shown them that the wicket was now assisting the spinners. It is true that Ravi Patel had a long bowl, but there were also four off-spinners in the Middlesex side who were either underused or not used at all. This meant that when Burns was first out for 56, the score had reached 133 and with Crowson (47) and Tom Jewell (30) giving further support to Harinath (eventually out for a commanding 100 with 11 fours), Surrey reached a healthy 263 for 3. Late on day 2, however, skipper Scollay (8-3-11-1) brought himself on and immediately started to turn his off-breaks square and, finally bowling in tandem with Patel (3 for 92), the two spinners reduced the home team to 285 for 6. Rain prevented any play on day 3 however and, with Surrey only 79 ahead with four wickets standing, Middlesex drew a match that they would surely have won without the intervention of the weather.
Buttler Matters
I have been extolling the virtues of Somerset’s Joss Buttler for a couple of seasons now. He bats with a fearless disregard for bowlers’ reputations and hits the ball prodigious distances. However, he normally comes in down the order and as often as not ends up 35 not out from 15 balls. This is impressive in its own way but hardly the stuff to warrant international recognition. So I started to ponder which innings had particularly brought him to the selectors attention. It never hurts to get runs in a televised match and when Somerset played Gloucestershire at Bristol Buttler came to the wicket at 112 for 4. He proceeded to score 63 not out from 39 deliveries including three sixes enabling Somerset to move into a winning position at 212 for 8 at the conclusion of their 30 over innings.
However, perhaps more significantly, earlier in the month in the championship match against Sussex at Taunton he had come in at number seven with the score at 54 for 5. He then steered the tail to an all out score of 286. His contribution was 100 from 112 ballsincluding four sixes. The prospect of Buttler batting alongside Morgan in either of the international one day formats is mouthwatering.
You can’t please all the people all the time matters
The Great Jack Morgan and I exchange a long email each way each month and it is from these that much of the monthly content of Googlies is culled. Jack doesn’t send me anything specific for publication and last month I included a paragraph from him that I found amusing:
“How could such an astonishingly clueless moron become the captain of our great club? I think we should introduce an intelligence test for all captaincy candidates in order that we can veto obvious loonies so that they do not publicly humiliate us... or at least so that we can ban them from speaking to the media. This was a total embarrassment.”
No sooner had I published Edition 104 than I received the following from Keith Mein:
“I refer you to this tasteless piece of self opinionated cant. Frankly, I am surprised that you would allow the “Great Jack Morgan” to use your bulletin for such a low and unworthy load of rubbish. To attack someone like this is cheap and nasty and henceforth I suggest that he be known as the “Small and Insignificant”Jack Morgan. I think that you and he should publicly apologise; although like most of his kind you will no doubt hide behind some vacuous excuse.The fact of the matter is, in a week when M.S. Dhoni has acted to preserve the spirit of cricket, you have cheapened it.It is you who have humiliated the game not Neil Dexter. In terms of intelligence tests I herewith cancel any interest in your scandal rag. Please ensure you delete all my details.You should be ashamed but I am sure you will smile instead.If it were possible I would suggest Middlesex withdraw any membership that you might hold and bar you from all Middlesex games for life.”
I replied:
I largely agree with Jack's notes and find it appalling that modern players and in particular county captains should know so little about the history of the game from which they earn their living and in particular for the county they captain.I think that the suggestion of an intelligence test was an amusing suggestion the like of which has frequently appeared in googlies. Irreverence has always been an objective.I have deleted you, as requested, from the distribution list.
He insisted on having the final word and sent me this:
“My point is proven – You have hidden behind a vacuous excuse. However appalling you believe it to be you should, with all your years of experience, have some manners and exercise tactand discretion.
I sent this exchange to Jack and he replied:
“Blimey! He was upset wasn't he? I agree with your response... just right, I think. I will not be issuing any apologies.”
And just in case I was missing something I sent the lot to the Professor who replied:
“Isn't it interesting that the "outraged of Tunbridge Wells" always sound ridiculous. How is it, when they type their daft contributions, that they don't read it through and realise how silly it sounds? I think you should print it!
And so here we go again with Jack’s latest rant
More crap from the Cricketer: P Kidd slags off C Rogers and T Murtagh for not excelling at the execrable T20, totally ignoring their excellent records in first class cricket, which is what matters, of course. Chris is easily our leading first class run-scorer with 1051 at an average of 48, while Tim is easily our leading first class wicket taker with 68 at an average of 20. A few pages further on, both of these exemplary records are acknowledged, so why try to make out they are a pair of useless pillocks?
Football Matters
Like other managers Andrew Baker is constrained in the transfer market by the transfer window. As a result he is dependent on a complex network of contacts throughout Europe to identify suitable talent. His Greek and Mediterranean scout is the redoubtable Kelvin West and he recently discovered an incredibly skilfulball player who he sent to England for extensive trials. Andrew went to the airport to pick her up and Kelvin said she would be easy to recognise as she would be wearing a blue and white spotted dress.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 105
September 2011
Out and About with the Professor
I wonder if Googlies pays enough attention to club cricket? I don’t mean club cricket of 40 years’ ago when the sun always shined and cricket in Middlesex was apparently better than anywhere else in the Country (we pay a lot of attention to that) but contemporary club cricket – club cricket: “in England, now”.
The two clubs I am closely involved with: Welwyn Garden City and Harrogate have both had mixed seasons and, as a result, are both mid-table in their respective leagues. Both play in ECB Premier Leagues and, as far as I am able to judge, the standard looks pretty similar. The Solly Sports (no less) Yorkshire League often features players who go on to play for the County (I have seen a number over the past few years) but so does (perhaps to a lesser extent) the Home Counties Premier League. The presence, in the Yorkshire set up, of a CountyAcademy side more or less ensures that you will see some future County first team players. However, the standard seems more variable than in the Home Counties, perhaps because there are more teams or perhaps because of the absence of promotion and relegation. In Yorkshire they play a shorter game - 110 overs as against 120 – (well the days are shorter) and they have an impenetrable points system which gives points for “incomplete wins” and (obviously) “incomplete losses”. Indeed you can get two, one, or no points for the latter, dependant on the degree of incompleteness. Since for the last few years York have won the title (a la Ealing) and they regularly win the most games (completely) it doesn’t seem to matter; but it is extraordinary how league committees around the country have, over many years, come up with a myriad of different “solutions” to essentially the same problem. I recall that when I first played in Hertfordshire, teams could get “winning draws”; a delightful oxymoron which could only have been authored by a committee.
Harrogate are a once proud side that had a full County fixture and a resultant “festival”. Those days are long gone and the team would probably have been relegated a few years’ ago had that been an option. But they are now on the way back. They have a decent side and an excellent new pavilion which was opened last week by the local (well Pontefract) hero, Tim Bresnan. To celebrate they had a triumphant “incomplete win” (I’m not making this up) against Scarborough. They, of course, still have both county matches and a festival and following the club match I went to the North Marine Parade ground to see Yorkshire put Sussex to the sword in a 40 over match, in which Rudolph got a majestic hundred and Bairstow celebrated his England elevation by hitting Panesar out of the ground on a couple of occasions. Bairstow almost managed to hit the ball over the stands and between the houses at the northern end of the ground. This is a prized achievement because the ball then ends up in Trafalgar Square. Scarborough, so I’m told, has the biggest permanent seating capacity of any non-Test match ground. It must be strange (and numbingly cold) playing a club match there in April but on this day the sun was beating down, the ground was packed and my (adopted) team was winning.
Welwyn Garden City’s season seems to have pivoted around cricket week which we hold in the first week of July. Up to that date the first team had not won a match. On the Friday of cricket week we had a Ball to celebrate the Club’s 90th anniversary. I did not have high hopes of the result the following morning since, when I left the Ball after midnight a number of the first team were having difficulty focussing. Anyone who has played club cricket knows the sequel – the following morning the openers put on 280 for the first wicket and, notwithstanding a hiccup last weekend, they haven’t stopped winning since.
I would take WGC to beat Harrogate (quite easily) but York would be a much tougher test. I think a knock-out competition between the winners of the twenty or so ECB Premier Leagues would be both a very worthwhile enterprise and provide some interesting comparisons.
Another opportunity for making these sorts of judgements came along last week in the form of the Minor Counties Cup Final at Lords. The match was between Hertfordshire and Berkshire (aka WGC v. Henley, since nine of the Herts side either are or were recently WGC members and eight of the Berks side had played for Henley). Rain delayed the start, the overs were reduced and it always looked a good toss to win. In the event the Herts total 194-9 in their 36 overs looked a little short and so it proved. Peploe and Shaun Udal both bowled their overs tidily (Udal went for 37 from his 7 and Peploe 38 from his 8) But neither looked too terrifying. Given that the last long spell I had seen Udal bowl was in Mumbai, where he bowled out India, I though it gave some more support to my view that the gap between club cricket at a top level and that played by professionals, while still considerable, is less than it was in those sunlit days of 40 years’ ago.
Middlesex matters
The Great Jack Morgan is pleased that County Cricket recommenced in August
The Lord's wicket for the Championship match against Derbyshire was the least green so far this season (because the wicket for the Kent match was reported?) and persuaded Middlesex to include both Tom Smith and Jamie Dalrymple in the Championship for the first time. Captain Luke Sutton also liked the look of the pitch and chose to bat. There was still some help for the pace bowlers, however, as Tim Murtagh proved by dismissing Kiwi Test player Martin Guptill with the first ball of the match and quickly reducing Derbys to14 for 3. Following the noon start, Steve Finn arrived at 1.45pm after spending about 5 minutes with the England squad at Trent Bridge and promptly took a wicket with his third ball, thus concluding an entertaining stand of 114 for the fourth wicket between Wes Durston (61, with 8 fours and a six) and Greg Smith (56 off 70 balls) and another flurry of wickets saw the visitors descend to 165 for 6. It was then left to Ross Whiteley (56, with 6 fours and 2 sixes) to guide the tail to a respectable total, which he was achieving nicely when he was last out at 252. Murtagh finished with 4 for 45, Finny with 3 for 51 and Smithy picked up 3 for 38.
Scott Newman (59 off 80 balls with 9 fours) and Sam Robson got Middlesex off to an excellent start until Newman fell early on day two with the score on 119. Robson found another fine partner in Dawid Malan in a third wicket partnership of 66 before Robbo departed for 94; it was the third time this season that Sam had finished on 94, but on the other two occasions he was not out as Middlesex achieved victory targets. Malan's form had actually been quite ordinary, but he looked in top nick on this occasion as he dominated the remainder of the innings and went on to a magnificent 143 with 18 fours. Several partners looked as if they would collaborate in a major stand, but none could contribute more than 19 and Middlesex were all out for 405, giving them a healthy lead of 153. For both Newman and Malan it was the first time they had passed 50 in the Championship this season; let's hope it marks a return to form for both of them. Tall seamer John Clare was the most successful of the Derbys bowlers with 4 for 69, while Smith took 3 for 76 with his off spin.
The visitors started better than they had done in the first innings, reaching 20 this time before their third wicket went down. They were now in very deep trouble and there were two different approaches to this problem: Chesney Hughes (44) and Whiteley (41) adopted attritional tactics, while Smith (45 off 58 balls with 6 fours) and Clare (37 off 42 balls with 6 fours) went on the attack. Both methods had some success, but the largest stand of the innings was the 78 that Hughes and Smith added for the fourth wicket and Derbys were all out for an inadequate 243. It was no surprise to see Murts (3 for 58 and 7 for 103 in the match) and Finn (3 for 59 and 6 for 110 in the match) among the wickets, but more surprising to see Dalrymple snap up 3 for 21, giving the spin twins 7 wickets between them in the match, a rare delight. Middlesex started day 4 needing 91 to win, but the three stars of the first innings (who scored 73% of those 405 runs) were all back in the pavilion with only 25 scored. However, the phlegmatic Chris Rogers (46* off 55 balls with 7 fours) and the stylish Neil Dexter (29* off 36 balls with 6 fours) saw Middlesex home by 7 wickets without further alarm. Middlesex 23 points Derbyshire 5.
After the complete morning's play had been lost to drizzly rain on the first day of the Championship match at Lord's between Middlesex and Northamptonshire, it was no surprise that visiting skipper Andrew Hall should decide to bowl first in the damp and dull conditions and on the same track that had been used for the previous day's CB40 match. Scott Newman, however, looked in fine form right from the start and, finding a useful partner in Chris Rogers, the pair put on 101 for the second wicket before Newman was run out for a sparkling 75 off 115 balls with 11 fours and a six. Rogers took over the dominant role after Newman's departure, but he could form no partnerships of any substance as ex-Middlesex man Chaminda Vaas (5 for 76) swept away Malan, Dexter and Dalrymple while only 18 were added; and when Rogers himself fell for a fine 67 off 108 balls with 11 fours just before the close of day 1, Middlesex were in deep trouble at 185 for 6. John Simpson, however, took on a sheet anchor role and, getting some assistance from Toby Roland-Jones (24) and Tim Murtagh (27), he steered Middlesex to a respectable 317 all out. Simpson finished with a creditable 61 with 7 fours and James Middlebrook deserves a mention for his accurate spell of off-spin, 22-10-36-2.
Murtagh and Corey Collymore found plenty of help in the pitch at the start of the Northants innings and it appeared to be only a matter of time before the wickets tumbled, but no luck whatsoever went Middlesex's way. Experienced openers Steve Peters and Mal Loye ignored the edges and the air shots and had amassed a stand of 158 before Steve Crook finally got rid of Peters for 75 with 12 fours. Loye went on to 87 with 15 fours and six other batsmen chipped in with 23 or more, but only keeper Niall O'Brien (50 with 6 fours) managed more than 32 as the innings closed on 399. Crook's assortment of swingers and bouncers brought him figures of 5 for 94, while Jamie Dalrymple performed the Middlebrook role with 22-10-43-2. Although the day had been mainly sunny, Middlesex suffered more ill luck in having to start their second innings in appalling light and Newman and Sam Robson quickly succumbed to Vaas, but the light had improved before Malan and Dexter lost their wickets (criminally in the case of the captain) to Hall to leave Middlesex in desperate trouble at 31 for 4, still 51 behind. Fortunately, the ideal man for a rescue operation, Rogers, was still there and Dalrymple (23) helped him add 57 for the fifth wicket. More durable support came from Simpson, playing his second long and sensible innings of the match as the pair put on 188 for the sixth wicket before Rogers fell for a brilliant 145 with 19 fours and 2 sixes. Middlesex were still not absolutely safe at this point, but I felt confident because Northants were showing little of the spirit or urgency expected of a team who were going for the win, mainly because their trump card Vaas (8 for 127 in the match) was insufficiently fit or enthusiastic to finish Middlesex off and give his side the chance of victory. Simpson went on to 72 with 9 fours as Middlesex closed on 313 for 8 declared and achieved the draw that was the height of their ambition following the debacle at the start of their second innings. County caps were awarded to Corey Collymore and Chris Rogers at lunchtime on day 2. Alex Wakely's name was spelt incorrectly on the scorecard and on the scoreboard throughout the match. Middx 8 points, Northants 10.
The London riots brought the starting time for the CB40 match between second placed Middlesex and bottom team Yorkshire forward to noon from the unacceptable 3.40pm, thus allowing me to see my only (first XI) limited overs match of the season. Skipper Neil Dexter won the toss, but decided to ask Yorks to bat in perfect batting conditions. Visiting captain Andrew Gale left with the score on 0, but that was a rare success for the Middlesex bowlers as Jacques Rudolph (40 off 50 balls), Tony McGrath (63 off 60 balls), Gary Ballance (34* off 24 balls including 2 sixes) and, especially, Jonny Bairstow with a brilliant 114 off 87 balls with 9 fours and 3 sixes, took Yorkshire up to the formidable total of 275 for 4 in their 40 overs. Middlesex started quickly but were always losing too many wickets. Paul Stirling hit an entertaining 68 off 47 balls with 10 fours and a six, but Middlesex slipped to 160 for 7 and appeared to have little chance of winning (despite their scoring rate still being ahead of Yorkshire’s). However, Steve Crook had other ideas and sharing a partnership of 66 with Tom Smith, he played his best innings for the club and his 61 off 40 balls with 5 fours and 2 sixes put Middlesex back in with an outside chance. It became all too much for the tail-enders to sustain the challenge, however and Middlesex subsided to 253 all out to lose by 22 runs. Adil Rashid (3 for 43) was the most successful bowler for Yorkshire as they lifted themselves off the bottom of the group table, but Middlesex's chances of progressing to the semi-finals were dealt a blow.
Canterbury Matters
I went with the Great Jack Morgan to Canterbury for the first day of the County Championship match between Kent and Middlesex. We met Jim Revier there who elected to go by train rather than travel with us. It was something to do with complying with his green credentials. Don’t ask, we didn’t. We arrived first and Jack soon located the spot he had ear marked to be our best vantage point to view the proceedings. He sat us down between the sight screen and a wateringhole which had some boxes at the higher level. After careful adjustment and saving a spot for Jim which included space accumulator tactics of placing bags on chairs between us we settled down to watch the cricket. Kent won the toss and elected to bat. It wasn’t long before one of their batsmen decided that it was necessary to have the sightscreen moved. This meant that the only way Jack and Jim could now see the scoreboard on the far side of the ground was by peering through the slats of the sightscreen.
But it wasn’t just at the far end that the batsmen asked for adjustment to the screens. The wicket was located at the west end of the square and the screen or rather screens at the far side of the ground were a series of white sheets on frames which were stuck into the ground. Those responsible for locating them had not done a particularly good job on getting them level and the overall effect was not unlike Widow Twankey’s laundry. Moving them was also fun and gave way to much merriment as the ground staff had to uplift a sheet from one end and carry it to the far end. This process continued until the batsman was satisfied.
Widow Twankey’s laundry at Canterbury
Meanwhile away from the sightscreens a cocktail party had commenced in the boxes to the left of us and somewhat surprisingly it was populated exclusively by young ladies. This meant that when the Revier/Morgan pair were not straining their necks one way to see the scoreboard they were craning them the other way to progress matters in the box.
The cocktail party gets underway
Meanwhile in the middle Murtagh and Collymore bowled well in the first hour containing Denly and Key without achieving a breakthrough. However, once Key was dismissed a flurry of wickets fell reducing Kent to 87 for 4. Stevens and Jones stopped the rot and played some pleasant shots but then another flurry of wickets fell and Kent found themselves on 155 for 8. Earlier in the season I had seen Middlesex struggle to finish the job off at Derby and the same thing happened here. It was difficult to tell who was captaining the side as fielders were despatched to all parts as new bowlers were tried to bowl Kent out. When Wazim Riaz joined Matthew Coles for the last wicket the latter was treated to field placings befitting Brian Lararather than the Kent number ten. If your overseas player is an international opening bowler surely the way to despatch the tail is to give him the ball, set appropriate attacking fields and let him do the job?
Jack said that he thought that Middlesex would have settled for Kent’s total at the start of play but Jim rued the 87 added for the last two wickets. And indeed he was right as the match unfurled over the ensuing days Middlesex contrived to give away their advantage and eventually lost by 63 runs.
Record Matters
Yorkshire batted first against Hampshire and made a respectable but slow 532 for 9 from 171 overs. In reply Mckenzie scored 234 but he was upstaged by Michael Carberry who scored 300 not out. The pair added a massive 523 for the third wicket. This was the highest stand for any Hampshire wicket. It was also the third largest stand ever in England and the ninth largest in first class history... anywhere!
In the first Lancashire innings Rikki Clarke, playing for Warwickshire, held two catches which was nothing very special but in the second he held an extraordinary seven. He was one short of Wally Hammond’s world record of ten in a match and equalled Mickey Stewart and Tony Brown’s seven in an innings.
PPS Matters
Could it be that Lord Ray is tastingthe delights of Humble Pie?
Death and taxes are as nothing compared with the appalling inevitability of Murphy's (or as many prefer it) Sod's Law. Inexorable is far too frivolous a word to apply to it. Naturally as night follows day or seabirds follow the trawler, once I said that the PPS had made his last significant runs for England, he was a racing certainty to make heavy runs. 200 odd not out, although it has to be said that he made very heavy weather of it for the first two-thirds of that innings despite being faced by a seriously depleted attack, was rubbing my face in it. But a century is a century is a century, and a double ton is twice as much and cannot be written off just like that, even if it was frequently ugly to watch and he might have been out quite a few times.
Do I now retract my words? No, I do not. I have opinions and have never been backward in giving them voice (some have noticed this) even if, as is quite often the case, they go against the trend. I am up against Boycott, whose views I greatly respect, and a good many others besides but I hold to my belief. In the Test just (magnificently) ended at Trent Bridge, the PPS made just 29 when the chips were down in the first dig. In the second innings, he left Bell to face the difficult music that came from Trott's incapacity to bat at a crucial time. The PPS contribution, when it came, ended too soon although he must have got his eye in but, fortunately Bell was in form.
Yes, the ball was doing something and yes, the pitch was not flat. (There was a time when that was hardly unusual). The reason I stick by what I said before is that, all too often, the PPS is still playing with his hands - that is, a good way in front of his body and certainly nowhere near under the head, although he looks good when he remembers to do that. In fairness, many of his extraordinary strokes are played in that unorthodox manner but, as one who got the odd wicket here and there, I always used to think that in the batsman's main strength also lies his weakness and that weakness may be exploited in two ways. You can either try to deny him the stroke(s) that is his strength or preferred run- scoring method and thus frustrate him into playing the shot at something unsuitable out of that frustration or, as has been shown with Tendulkar, you can bowl to that strength (in his case, in addition to others, the drive) but by pushing the line gradually wider you may induce the error.
With the PPS, though, it is he himself who is creating the chance of dismissal with no actual input from the bowler. The unorthodox batsman is an hostage to the good fortune which timing and eye represent. I think the cogs are no longer quite meshing as sweetly as they once were but, instead of modifying his game as many great players of the past have done, I think his ego will not allow that to happen, excellent though he may look when he reigns himself back.
James, your readers will look forward, no doubt, to my finding a lot more egg on my face - and it would be good for the England cause if that were so, of course - but I cannot convince myself that the PPS has it in him to remodel his method. That being so, I restate my belief.
(And, while I am at it, may I say that I always loved the challenge of bowling to Jukesy who could do unpleasant things to a bowler on his day. But I also loved the challenge of matching him in drinking afterwards, although I think he won all of those particular contests. Mind you, I always loved playing against the Bush who attracted so many delightful and talented people as, of course, did South Hampstead).
Red Mist Matters
The CB40 competition has produced some massive batting performances this season. Sussex led the way with an all but ten an over effort reaching 399 for 4 against Worcestershire at Horsham. Joyce and Gatting both hit hundreds and Sussex hit fourteen sixes between them. Worcestershire replied with a creditable 319 but still lost by 80 runs. Ali made 158 and hit seven sixes.
At Colwyn Bay Alviro Peterson hit ten sixes in his 144 for Glamorgan against Lancashire. The Australian, Stewart Walters, made 51 not out from just nineteen balls. This was a reduced overs match and Glamorgan reached 328 for 4 from 33 overs. Lancashire were bowled out for 259 from 30 overs.
On the final daty of the regional leagues season Durham made 325 for 9 at the Oval thanks primarily to an explosive start by Phil Mustard who blasted 66 from 31 balls. After ten overs Durham were 98 for 2 and a 400 score looked possible but they settled for 325 for 9 which was enough to defeat Surrey who made a creditable 289 in reply with some late ferocious hitting by Matthew Spriegel who made 86 from 57 balls with four sixes.
Second XI Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports from Guildford
In the Second XI Championship match at Guildford, Arun Harinath won the toss and elected to bat on a pitch that, as usual, was giving the seamers a little help and Surrey soon found themselves struggling at 14 for 2. Gary Wilson held the early batting together until he became one of Stuart Poynter's 3 victims behind the stumps after making 39 off 52 balls with 8 fours. Surrey had slumped to 120 for 7, however, and the only reason that they managed to reach a total of 181 was the useful innings played by South African James Crowson, batting at 7, who hit an undefeated 44 off 59 balls with 5 fours and a six. The Middlesex seamers shared 9 of the wickets with Robbie Williams taking 4 for 42 and Toby Rolling Stones, despite not looking quite back to his best, 3 for 35.
Right from the start of their innings, Middlesex looked far more composed than Surrey had done and openers captain Tom Scollay and Scottish international Josh Davey put on a fine 116 for the first wicket before Scollay departed for a classy 66 off 82 balls with 12 fours. Davey followed for a solid 48 and Paul Stirling, batting at 6, hit a quick 37 off 28 balls with 5 fours and a six, but at 235 for 6, Middlesex were not quite in the dominant position that they had hoped to be. This changed, however, as Poynter and Roland-Jones teamed up to add an excellent 120 for the seventh wicket before Poynter, playing the best innings that I have seen him play, fell for 68 off 97 balls with 6 fours and 2 sixes. Roland-Jones, also batting better than I had seen him before, kept going and lifted the total to 399 before he was last man out for 91 off 92 balls with 10 fours and 2 sixes. The Surrey spinners took eight of the wickets with Test leg spinner Chris Schofield leading the way with 4 for 71 and the other four being shared equally between slow left armer Fred van den Bergh and off-spinner Phil Mann.
Surrey openers keeper Rory Burns and skipper Harinath were untroubled at the start of the Surrey second innings, but Middlesex assisted them by persisting with their five pace bowlers, even though Surrey had shown them that the wicket was now assisting the spinners. It is true that Ravi Patel had a long bowl, but there were also four off-spinners in the Middlesex side who were either underused or not used at all. This meant that when Burns was first out for 56, the score had reached 133 and with Crowson (47) and Tom Jewell (30) giving further support to Harinath (eventually out for a commanding 100 with 11 fours), Surrey reached a healthy 263 for 3. Late on day 2, however, skipper Scollay (8-3-11-1) brought himself on and immediately started to turn his off-breaks square and, finally bowling in tandem with Patel (3 for 92), the two spinners reduced the home team to 285 for 6. Rain prevented any play on day 3 however and, with Surrey only 79 ahead with four wickets standing, Middlesex drew a match that they would surely have won without the intervention of the weather.
Buttler Matters
I have been extolling the virtues of Somerset’s Joss Buttler for a couple of seasons now. He bats with a fearless disregard for bowlers’ reputations and hits the ball prodigious distances. However, he normally comes in down the order and as often as not ends up 35 not out from 15 balls. This is impressive in its own way but hardly the stuff to warrant international recognition. So I started to ponder which innings had particularly brought him to the selectors attention. It never hurts to get runs in a televised match and when Somerset played Gloucestershire at Bristol Buttler came to the wicket at 112 for 4. He proceeded to score 63 not out from 39 deliveries including three sixes enabling Somerset to move into a winning position at 212 for 8 at the conclusion of their 30 over innings.
However, perhaps more significantly, earlier in the month in the championship match against Sussex at Taunton he had come in at number seven with the score at 54 for 5. He then steered the tail to an all out score of 286. His contribution was 100 from 112 ballsincluding four sixes. The prospect of Buttler batting alongside Morgan in either of the international one day formats is mouthwatering.
You can’t please all the people all the time matters
The Great Jack Morgan and I exchange a long email each way each month and it is from these that much of the monthly content of Googlies is culled. Jack doesn’t send me anything specific for publication and last month I included a paragraph from him that I found amusing:
“How could such an astonishingly clueless moron become the captain of our great club? I think we should introduce an intelligence test for all captaincy candidates in order that we can veto obvious loonies so that they do not publicly humiliate us... or at least so that we can ban them from speaking to the media. This was a total embarrassment.”
No sooner had I published Edition 104 than I received the following from Keith Mein:
“I refer you to this tasteless piece of self opinionated cant. Frankly, I am surprised that you would allow the “Great Jack Morgan” to use your bulletin for such a low and unworthy load of rubbish. To attack someone like this is cheap and nasty and henceforth I suggest that he be known as the “Small and Insignificant”Jack Morgan. I think that you and he should publicly apologise; although like most of his kind you will no doubt hide behind some vacuous excuse.The fact of the matter is, in a week when M.S. Dhoni has acted to preserve the spirit of cricket, you have cheapened it.It is you who have humiliated the game not Neil Dexter. In terms of intelligence tests I herewith cancel any interest in your scandal rag. Please ensure you delete all my details.You should be ashamed but I am sure you will smile instead.If it were possible I would suggest Middlesex withdraw any membership that you might hold and bar you from all Middlesex games for life.”
I replied:
I largely agree with Jack's notes and find it appalling that modern players and in particular county captains should know so little about the history of the game from which they earn their living and in particular for the county they captain.I think that the suggestion of an intelligence test was an amusing suggestion the like of which has frequently appeared in googlies. Irreverence has always been an objective.I have deleted you, as requested, from the distribution list.
He insisted on having the final word and sent me this:
“My point is proven – You have hidden behind a vacuous excuse. However appalling you believe it to be you should, with all your years of experience, have some manners and exercise tactand discretion.
I sent this exchange to Jack and he replied:
“Blimey! He was upset wasn't he? I agree with your response... just right, I think. I will not be issuing any apologies.”
And just in case I was missing something I sent the lot to the Professor who replied:
“Isn't it interesting that the "outraged of Tunbridge Wells" always sound ridiculous. How is it, when they type their daft contributions, that they don't read it through and realise how silly it sounds? I think you should print it!
And so here we go again with Jack’s latest rant
More crap from the Cricketer: P Kidd slags off C Rogers and T Murtagh for not excelling at the execrable T20, totally ignoring their excellent records in first class cricket, which is what matters, of course. Chris is easily our leading first class run-scorer with 1051 at an average of 48, while Tim is easily our leading first class wicket taker with 68 at an average of 20. A few pages further on, both of these exemplary records are acknowledged, so why try to make out they are a pair of useless pillocks?
Football Matters
Like other managers Andrew Baker is constrained in the transfer market by the transfer window. As a result he is dependent on a complex network of contacts throughout Europe to identify suitable talent. His Greek and Mediterranean scout is the redoubtable Kelvin West and he recently discovered an incredibly skilfulball player who he sent to England for extensive trials. Andrew went to the airport to pick her up and Kelvin said she would be easy to recognise as she would be wearing a blue and white spotted dress.
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