GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 124
April 2013
Pre season Quiz part two
For those of you who got last month’s Surrey non contractees here are some further posers
1. What will be England’s new ball attack in the Ashes series:
a. Anderson and Broad
b. Anderson and Finn
c. Finn and Broad
d. Broad and Onions
e. Anderson and Onions
f. Finn and Harris
g. Harris and Roland-Jones
h. Trott and Bell
2. What excuses will England use when the Aussies beat them in the Ashes series:
a. We always knew they would be a force to reckon with.
b. How were we to know that their third string seamers would roll us over.
c. It has been a valuable lesson for us and we will take plenty of positives away from the series.
d. KP told us he had overcome his phobia against slow left armers.
3. What are the odds against Steve Smith making the Honours Board with a “five for”:
a. 1,000-1
b. 10,000-1
c. 1,000,000-1
4. What will Mitchell Johnson’s first ball be:
a. A wide down the leg side
b. A wide down the off side
c. A wide over the keepers head
d. A Helmet ball
e. Ian Bell’s wicket
5. It is generally accepted that Middlesex will be County Champions this season, but who will be relegated:
a. Somerset and Lancashire
b. Surrey and Warwickshire
c. Durham and Yorkshire
Out and About with the Professor
The annual geriatric gathering which is the Yorkshire County Cricket Club's AGM took place last week. Your correspondent took his place among the grey hairs and hearing aids to share the optimism of the start of a new season.
...and optimistic we were! Promotion last year, our 150th anniversary to celebrate, some handy new players (Liam Plunkett and Jack Brooks) recruited, two Yorkshiremen in the England top six, Bresnan’s injury getting better and most of the snow had been cleared off the outfield ready for the start of play in six days’ time...perhaps.
The Chairman, Colin Graves, gave a very upbeat report and looked forward to the new season with the prospect of the most hirsute opening attack (Brooks and Sidebottom) on the circuit - it will look like a throwback to the 1970s. At the same time there was much praise for the performances of the players last year, some of whom (Patterson and Ashraf) will presumably lose their places to the new signings - assuming Plunkett stays fit, of course. With both Root and Bairstow likely to be on England duty and McGrath having retired there would appear to be some holes in the batting line up, but Ballance is expected to "come of age" or "step up to the plate" or some other dreadful neologism and hopefully Adam Lyth will repeat his form of last year but not the year before that. We shall see. Perhaps some of the Academy boys will break into the side; there are some Second XI fixtures at my local ground and I will emulate the Great Jack Morgan and pop along to see how they perform - I will be particularly interested in the form of wicketkeeper Barney Gibson (who you may recall a couple of years' ago was plucked from double maths to be the youngest ever county player) and two lads with the pedigree names of Jonathan J. Moxon and W. Rhodes.
The Chairman identified the changes in coaching staff - especially the recruitment of Jason Gillespie - as the principal cause of the improvement in first team performances. He also declared himself satisfied with the financial position of the Club. Yorkshire made a loss last year (they generally do) but it was a smaller one than in 2011 and a much smaller one than in the recent past. No one bothers about this too much these days since the Chairman seems happy to pick up the tab, and Yorkshiremen, being Yorkshiremen, seem happy to permit him to do so. The accounts show the Chairman as an accumulated creditor of the club to the tune of slightly over £7 million.
Incidentally, Yorkshire get £2 million from the ECB (i.e. Sky) which almost exactly matches the wage bill. The only worry was the decline in membership which it seems is mirrored across all counties - we were told that Lancashire membership fell by 500 last year notwithstanding their winning of the Championship.
Some more good news is that our President, Sir Geoffrey, has moved back to Yorkshire. He decided that living in Jersey was a touch inconvenient for home matches and so he has moved into a very nice house in Boston Spa. He was again voted in as the President this year - there was only one candidate - but he still managed to pick up 21 votes against. It was not clear how many of those votes came from the people who had actually played with the great man in the 1970s.
The Director of Cricket, Martyn Moxon, cleared up one of the great puzzles of contemporary cricket: why do they play football before the start of the game? Answer: "Because the lads want to". Why? "To relieve the tedium of warm ups." Apparently the coaching staff have "their hearts in their mouths" when they are doing it and insist that it is non-contact, which of course it often isn't. The Director didn't answer, nor was he asked, why it was not possible for the numerous members of the coaching staff to devise less tedious routines and avoid the possibility of injury. So, I fear, the mystery remains.
Some more good news is that in 2014 the Championship will remain at 16 matches, Graves in his new position with the ECB, having seen off plans to reduce the number and almost all games will start on a Sunday “so we all know where we are”.
So, we’re off! Just as long as they can clear the snow, Yorkshire’s 150 season will start on April 5th. We have an effective coaching staff, a fine Director of Cricket and excellent team…what could possibly go wrong?
Old Trafford Matters
It could be that no readers could care less about the developments at what we now have to call Emirates Old Trafford. But if you want to see what it takes to get test matches at your ground these days then you can be appalled by the following. You will recall that a red monstrosity having nothing to do with cricket was erected to the south of the old pavilion a couple of years ago. Then the square was turned through 90 degrees. Further building work has progressed and there is now a media centre at the east end of the ground opposite the old pavilion. This has been tastefully painted red to match the monstrosity.
Meanwhile the old pavilion is being messed about and currently looks like a Christo installation artwork.
The latest demolition is the old media centre at the south side of the ground. No prizes for guessing what colour its replacement will be.
Match Reports
The Great Jack Morgan continues his nostalgic trawl through his old scorecards
In the first round of the Nat West Bank Trophy in 1984, Middlesex beat Northumberland at Jesmond by 85 runs; Clive Radley scored 64* and John Emburey took 3 for 20 in his 12 overs. In a tight match in the second round, Middlesex beat Nottinghamshire by 5 runs at Trent Bridge; most of the runs came from the third wicket pair of Paul Downton (62) and Mike Gatting (67), but the Man of the Match award went to Emburey for his 1 for 24 in 12 exemplary overs. Gatting won the toss in the quarter final versus Lancashire at Lord's on August 1st and decided to bat first on a wicket that looked sure to offer some assistance to the seam bowlers. Nothing seemed to trouble Graham Barlow, however, as Wilf Slack helped him to put on 73 for the first wicket, but no other home batsman could settle for long enough to contribute more than 12. Barlow had not been in great form in his benefit season, but there was no hint of a problem for him in this innings as he batted brilliantly right through to the last over when was run out for a magnificent 158 (only Alvin Kallicharran and Gordon Greenidge had made higher scores in this competition) with a six, a five and 18 fours as Middlesex closed on 276 for 8 in their 60 overs. Mike Watkinson, later to play Test cricket for England, took 3 for 63 for Lancs. Slack's 23 was not only the second highest score of the innings, but also turned out to be the second highest score of the whole match as Wayne Daniel soon started to wreak havoc in a very fast spell from the pavilion end and quickly had 4 wickets for 8 runs in his first 37 balls. Simon Hughes (3 for 26) and Gatting (2 for 14) joined in the fun and with Daniel (5 for 14) returning to claim last man Jamaican Patrick Patterson, soon to play Test cricket for WI, the visitors were dismissed for 105 before tea in 29.4 overs and Middlesex had won by a 171 runs. No wickets fell to spin in the whole match as neither Emburey nor Phil Edmonds bowled a single ball and Jack Simmons failed to take a wicket for Lancashire. Daniel had put in a strong challenge, but there was never much doubt that the Man of the Match award would go to Barlow.
Again, Gatting won the toss in the semi-final against Northamptonshire at Lord's on August 15th, but this time he asked the visitors to bat first with rain in the forecast. Northants picked only two specialist bowlers and left out players as good as Jim Griffiths (top of the visitors' bowling averages that season), South African Rupert Hanley (second in the visitors' bowling averages that season) and England's David Steele, who was the visitors' leading wicket taker that season, but the batting was strong and it was a little surprising to see Test batsmen Wayne Larkins and Allan Lamb struggling to retrieve the situation after two wickets went down with only 38 on the board. The pair put on 75 before Lamb fell for 35 just before lunch and Larkins followed immediately after the interval for 52, which had taken him 36 overs. The scoring rate was only just over three per over and they needed the acceleration that was provided by future Test player Rob Bailey, the most impressive of the Northants batsmen. Bailey went on to 56* from 77 balls and shared a stand of 63* for the seventh wicket with another future Test player David Capel (23*), but the total of 226 for 6 in 60 overs did not look to be quite enough. Of the home bowlers, Daniel (3 for 33) and Emburey (0 for 24 in 12 miserly overs) stood out. Several showers held up Middlesex's bid for victory and they resumed on day two on 22-0 off 8 overs. Barlow and Slack were soon into their stride on the second morning, but suffered a setback when Barlow was run out for 24 with the score on 55. However, Gatting was a more than adequate replacement and his untroubled partnership of 130 with Slack, against some part time bowling, won the game for Middlesex. Slack fell for 79, but Radley helped his captain to take the team to victory by 8 wickets with Gatt ending the match with a six, as he had done the previous season against the same opponents. Gatt's 88* off 111 balls was a sparkling effort, but the Man of the Match award went to Slack, who had 1 for 49 in his 12 overs to add to his 79 runs.
Kent skipper England's Chris Tavare won the toss and chose to bat first in the final of the Nat West Bank Trophy at Lord's on September 1st, a game that was to turn into an absolute thriller. The wicket seemed distinctly low and slow from the perimeter, but consistent openers Neil Taylor (49) and Mark Benson, soon to win a solitary cap for England (37), provided a fine start for their side with a stand of 95 before both fell just before lunch which was taken at 99 for 2 off 33 overs. Kent needed to accelerate after lunch, but Middlesex kept the run rate in check until Chris Cowdrey, also about to be capped by England, cut loose with 58 in 57 minutes with 4 fours and a six to take Kent up to 232 for 6 off their 60 overs. Barlow, Slack, Gatting and Roland Butcher all got starts for Middlesex, but the scoring rate was no quicker than Kent's had been and none of them was able to go on to the big score that was needed. It was the former England stalwart Derek Underwood, of course, who was the problem for Middlesex, but when Tavare gave him a rest after 9 overs for 12 runs, Radley and Downton made hay and added 87 in under 15 overs, before Radley (67) fell and then Downton (40) followed in the next over. The light was poor, there were two new batsmen at the crease and Middlesex still needed 16 off 23 balls, but Emburey and Edmonds steadily reduced the target to 7 off the final over. The umpires confirmed that 7 was indeed the target because if the scores finished level, Kent would win as they had the higher score after 30 overs. England allrounder of the near future, Richard Ellison, bowled the last over and a leg-bye, three singles and a two left Emburey requiring a single off the last ball. It was 7.45pm and very difficult to see in the gloom, but it looked as if Ellison's attempted yorker turned out to be a low full toss and Embers was able to guide it away to the square leg boundary to win the trophy by four wickets. Kevin Jarvis bowled well to take 3 for 47, but the outstanding bowling of the match came from the parsimonious slow bowlers Underwood (1 for 25 off 12 overs) and Emburey (1 for 27 off 12). Many felt Emburey had a chance of the Man of the Match award for his tight bowling and his heroics with the bat in the dark at the end, others felt Downton had a claim for his two top order victims and his more than useful batting contribution, but the award went to Radley, the third time he had taken the Man of the Match award in finals at Lord's. Radley (184 runs at 61.33), Barlow (218 runs at 54.5), Gatting (215 runs at 53.75) and Slack (196 runs at 39.2) were the main run scorers for Middlesex in the Trophy that season. Daniel (11 wickets at 14.18) was the top wicket taker, though Gatting (3 wickets at 10.66) sneaked to the top of the averages, while Emburey's outstanding bowling in the competition brought him 5 wickets at 19 apiece, but also a niggardly economy rate of less than two runs an over, exceptional stuff.
Sofa Cricket
India v Australia, Hyderabad : second test
Australia batted first, Clarke made a below par 91 and they were dismissed for 237. Siddle got Sehwag early on but then Vijay (167) and Pujara(204) added 370 which formed the bulk of India’s 503. Ashwin took 5 for 63 as Australia were skittled for 131 to complete a humiliating defeat.
New Zealand v England at Dunedin : first test
England were put in and dismissed for 167 showing once again that these guys play too little cricket, not too much. Rutherford scored an extraordinary 171 from 217 balls in reply and England were staring down the barrel starting their second innings 293 in arrears. Compton demonstrated that it is possible to move up to test cricket as a mature performer scoring 117 in nearly seven hours at the crease. Finn started his test career as a number eleven but in this match had crept up to nine with Anderson and the hapless Panesar behind him. In the second innings he usurped Anderson again this time as night watchman because Trott didn’t fancy it. Finn hung around for three and a half hours and scored 56. It was a reminder to batsmen of Gillespie scoring a double century as night watchman. The moral is never give away the chance of time in the middle. The game was saved and England were back in front by the end.
India v Australia at Mohali : third test
Australia batted first and made 408 with their top scorers, rather incongruously being Steve Smith (92) and Mitchell Starc (99). In reply Dhawan, who had replaced Sehwag, teed off making 187 from 174 balls and was first out with the score on 289. Vijay scored 153 and Australia could be reasonably pleased to constrain the Indians to 499. But that was as far as it went for the Aussies as the Indian spinners, Ashwin, Jadeja and Ojha, worked their way through them leaving a comfortable second innings chase for their batsmen to secure a series win.
New Zealand v England at Wellington : second test
Compton secured his opening birth for the time being with another hundred and despite contributions from Trott, Pietersen and Prior the final total of 465 felt less than it promised to be at one time. When Sky interviewed KP on the third morning about Matt Prior’s contribution he managed to turn the conversation to be about the way he, KP, bats. Broad did what he occasionally does, get it right, and ended with an unlikely 6 for 51. The Kiwis looked to be in trouble but the rain was kind to them and they ended up on 162 for 2 in their second innings, having followed on. Kane Williamson made 55 not out from 174 balls in a shade under four hours. It could be that he and Compton are bringing the traditional values of long boring innings back to test cricket.
West Indies v Zimbabwe at Roseau
Shillingford took 5 for 59 and 5 for 34 to facilitate an innings win for the West Indians. Interestingly the West Indian runs were scored by the old guard: Gayle, Chanderpaaul and Ramdin. Why are the Zimbabweans playing at this level? Surely Ireland would do better? If everything has to be competitive these days why isn’t there promotion and relegation between the top flight and the second tier?
India v Australia at Delhi ; fourth test
Australia batted first yet again and Ashwin (5 for 57) went through them again. Siddle top scored with 51 in an unsatisfactory 262. Vijay and Pujara added a breezy 108 for the first wicket but surprisingly Lyon went through them taking 7 for 94. Jadeja scored 43. He has graduated for the one day sides and is looking a more than useful all rounder in the test side. In the second Australian innings he took 5 for 58 and comes on to bowl before the acclaimed Ojha. The Indians knocked off the 158 needed for victory on the third evening with Pujara making 82 not out.
New Zealand v England at Auckland : third test
It is time that all captains were taught that unless it is Trent Bridge on an overcast morning and Jimmy is fancying it you never put the opposition in. You also don’t fall for any shit the groundsman says about what sort of pitch he has prepared. Alistair Cook – sucker! Steve Finn proved, not for the first time, the value of bowling when the opposition is into its final overs and the tail enders are having a go. In the second innings no one seemed to want to bowl, especially Monty. The cover for Swann suddenly looks considerably less than it did a couple of months ago.
MCC v Warwickshire at Abu Dhabi
Whilst many of us have been digging snow the 2013 season got underway in the now traditional venue of the Middle East. Ian Westwood must wish he hadn’t bothered to make the trip. He was dismissed for 0 only for Chopra and Porterfield to then add 307 before the next wicket fell. Warwickshire accumulated 561 against an odd looking MCC bowling attack in which Malan was given a long bowl. Joe Denly top scored in both of the MCC innings but they still lost by an innings. Chris Wright, a Middlesex and Essex reject took eight wickets for the 2012 Champions.
Height Matters
When I meet up with the Professor he often regales me with tales of mixing with the England team at breakfast in five star hotels in foreign climes. He always mentions how tall they all are. Even those who seem to be short houses on TV, such as Morgan, actually turn out to be well above average height. The focus is on the 6’ 4” and over bunch which includes Pietersen, Broad, Finn and Tremlett. However, these guys, who are used to looking down on everyone, would just be medium height in the Pakistan side. Their new left arm quickie, Irfan Mohammad, is 7’ 1” and is currently head and shoulders, literally, above his team mates. When he took his first test wicket recently he offered a high five to greet them. No one could reach to reciprocate.
Anderson and Coaching Matters
When Jimmy Anderson first burst onto the scene he was reasonably quick and could swing the ball. But when he delivered the ball his head was bowed down as if in supplication. The coaches were having none of this and set about changing his action. He went through a miserable time and lost much of his natural rhythm. Eventually he decided to ignore them and revert to his original style. At the time of writing he is about to join an elite band of four bowlers who have reached 300 wickets before the age of thirty. He is still only reasonably quick but when the ball swings is as good as any seamer in the world and is able to swing it both ways. Pity about the bowed head though. Googlies salutes Anderson who had the courage to tell the coaches to “Get Stuffed”.
Boundary Matters
Much is made of the short boundaries in Twenty20 matches where the boundary is brought in to encourage the hitting of sixes to thrill the crowds. In general this practice is frowned upon and a ground that could easily accommodate a 75 yard boundary will often have it reduced to 65 to excite the punters and cause despair amongst the bowlers. But it could never happen in test cricket, could it? Really. At Auckland the test match was played on a rugby football ground with a drop in wicket. The wicket is dropped in sideways and so the straight boundaries are barely fifty yards long. Admittedly they have not been reduced but the distance is farcical. If you want to get a feel for the distance its about the same as the boundary at South Hampstead at the Milverton Road end. On this basis I might still be able to get a throw full pitch to the keeper from fine leg in a test match. On second thoughts I probably couldn’t.
Baseball Matters
Richard supplies these insights
My impression of baseball is that, while on a different scale to county cricket, it is still the sort of game you can just turn up to and get in. There are loads of games, big stadiums and entry doesn’t generally require tortuous membership schemes or frantically hitting F5 on Ticketmaster. This is Yankees v Red Sox on a sunny Saturday afternoon, though, so we were relieved to find only a small queue at the ticket office.
$100 (£70) for two should have been a no-brainer for someone used to England cricket and the Premiership, but it did make me pause. Then I remember the thousands of pounds it cost me to get to this kiosk and hand over the credit card. Daniel, who has witnessed plenty of paternal parsimony in his time, breathes a sigh of relief. As we head towards the gate we assure each other that this is the most excited we’ve ever been.
The bloke in the seat next to mine is asleep. His feet are up on the row in front and his legs are splayed all over my space. I tap him on the shoulder and he pushes a bad-ass bandana back from over his eyes and looks at me with slightly pursed lips. He’s waiting for me to amuse him. ‘I need to sit down.’ I’m trying to be gruff and uncompromising but probably sound like Hugh Grant apologising for spilling Tony Soprano’s pint. He looks around at the swathes of empty seats, smiles, then lets me in.
I think better of asking when his testicles will be sufficiently recovered to allow him to sit properly. He’s got a shaved head, forearms thicker than my thighs and I’m a long way from Headingley’s Western Terrace. I’m glad I made him move though. I could’ve sat somewhere else but it’s going to be a 50,000 full house and I would’ve had to move again at some point. Larry David gets whole episodes from lesser points of principle. Unlike my neighbour, Larry and I are both a credit to the bald community.
I watched my first live baseball in a Melbourne suburb in 1994. I loved it as much as I thought I would but, after sitting through eight scoreless innings, was surprised to hear an American describing cricket as ‘baseball on mogadon’. I’m still fuming at that. In the first innings of my fourth live ballgame I finally see a home run. In 12 hours and more than 72 innings I reckon I’ve seen about 12 runs in total. I’d have seen more than a thousand runs in four T20s wouldn’t I? But of course, cricket’s not about runs, is it?
Baseball’s all about the runs. Runs are so scarce that even getting to first base is cause for a standing ovation. To get there you have to hit a small ball with a thin stick – a ball that’s often propelled at more than 100mph by a dangerous-looking hillbilly with a mullet. Even if you manage to connect it’s unlikely to do you much good. First you’ve got to hit it in the V between first and third bases, then you’ve got to get it past the infield. If you don’t do the latter then the 90 feet to safety might as well by 90 miles.
When someone eventually does make it to first base, the nuance and interest ramps up. Now the fielding side has an extra problem. The first baseman has to stand with his foot on the bag – rather than positioning himself according to where he thinks the batter’s going to hit. The pitcher also has someone else to watch and often has to throw to first base to stop the batter from stealing second. Boston had a man on base when they broke my home run cherry and got two runs. In a low scoring game, two runs can be a mortal blow. An out, on the other hand, is just the game ticking on and engenders nothing more than a ripple from the crowd.
After a couple of innings we’re joined by a group of young Red Sox fans. I fondly imagine they’re frat boys from Harvard or MIT and christen the extra preppy, floppy haired one in the Ray Bans, Bret (Easton Ellis). He points to the back of a T-shirt in front of us, nudges his friend and sniggers. It says ‘NY 26 Red Sox 7, you do the math’. That’s World Series, son.
Boston get on top early and strangle the life out of their pinstriped tormentors. The scoreless innings mount up and we’re left with nothing but nuance. We watch the shortstop relaying balls from the outfield – often having to make split second decisions on which base to throw to – and marvel at a rare NY right field fumble that costs another run. I overhear Bret telling his girlfriend that Boston’s, definitely un-mulletted, relief pitcher went to Yale, as did the catcher. There has, apparently, been a recent Ivy League influx into baseball. That it’s worth remarking on makes for an interesting contrast to our public school dominated summer game.
The seventh inning stretch, a custom of which I was previously unaware, sees us singing, ‘Take me out to the ballgame,’ and Y, M, C and A-ing along with the big screen. The middle of the seventh is also the cue for alcohol sales to cease and for disappointed Yankees fans to start trickling away. We stick it out to the end then pick our way down to the plush, padded seats at ground level near the plate. A glamorous female steward politely tries to steer us to the exit and then fails to take our picture because her nails are too long to push the button on my phone. Once outside, I briefly consider a stroll round the neighbourhood before remembering that we are in the Bronx and I’m responsible for a thirteen year old boy.
Cricket’s not like baseball on mogadon and baseball’s not like rounders on steroids (sometimes it’s like baseball on steroids though). You can fill a book with their differences but after an afternoon as perfect as we’ve ever had at Hove, the MCG or Lord’s, the two games will be forever stitched at the seams in my head. From backyard plates to driveway wickets; North Marine Drive, Scarborough to Yankee Stadium, the Bronx. Take me out to a ball game.
And Daneel writes
It’s a tough life being a cricket fan in the USA; no coverage on television and sometimes even TMS is blocked if the rights aren’t available over here. In desperation, I’ve had to resort to watching baseball. This wasn’t so bad when we were in Seattle. Although the Mariners are pretty awful, at least I’ve seen the Red Sox play live and I enjoyed watching Ichiro single mindedly collect hits one single at a time. Now we live in deepest darkest Georgia and only have terrible Minor League (actually the most minor of the minor leagues) baseball available.
When we were visiting Vancouver, BC a few years ago, we stopped to watch a cricket match taking place in Stanley Park. We were chatting to one of the fielders and he tried to sign me up for his team, despite my living four hours drive away in a different country. They must have been truly desperate. Still, I was flattered. And pleased that I didn’t have to demonstrate my non-skills.
Anyway, fast forward to last week, when I discovered that the West Indies and New Zealand were playing a couple of T20s in Florida. Naturally, being a fan of neither side, not liking T20 and living eight hours drive away in a different state, I leapt at the chance to attend.
We don’t have a good record with sports over here. We went to the Daytona 500, only to find out we’d chosen to attend the one time in its history that the race was rained off. So that was fun. We did get to see trucks towing jet engines around trying to dry the track out though. I dare say that most of the patrons of NASCAR wouldn’t be prepared to make the usual American wisecracks about the quality of British teeth, though.
Actually, it rains all the sodding time here in the South. I’ve never experienced so many thunderstorms in my life. If you’ve ever watched the Masters Golf and wondered why they play it when the weather is like that, it’s because they have no choice unless they want to play in December. This time, Tropical Storm Debby had been hanging around all week, flooding most of the surrounding area, so we were prepared for bad weather. Predictably, it was roasting hot and we got rather sunburnt.
We chose to stay in a budget hotel in Fort Lauderdale. It certainly attracted an interesting clientele; a heady mix of prostitutes (the lady in front of us when we were checking in was trying to rent a room by the hour) and drug dealers. It had almost no cockroaches in it. We won’t be returning. We encountered one of our fellow guests begging outside the pharmacy next door to get money for the vending machine in the hotel lobby.
The game was being played in a 20,000 capacity stadium custom built for cricket. Given that the only ‘proper’ cricket grounds I’ve ever been to are Grace Road and the County Ground, Derby, I’m rather provincial and I was actually quite impressed. Not sure why it’s been built in Florida. I made sure to wear my Antigua T-shirt on the off-chance that Viv Richards or Curtly Ambrose were in attendance (if they were, I didn’t see them). I was secretly rooting for New Zealand, anyway.
I had a Banks beer at the ground, disappointingly not the Marston’s bitter but some mediocre Barbadian lager, but it went well with chicken roti. I spent some time trying to get a photo of a player with the word Cock behind him. On the way home we made our now traditional post-Florida visit stop at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Jacksonville. This time I sensibly chose ‘Wild’ flavour; a previous experiment with ‘Blazin’ had left me almost blind and incapable of driving until my eyesight fully returned. Pro tip – don’t wipe your face with a napkin that’s previously been used to wipe off ridiculously strong chilli sauce.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: [email protected]
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 124
April 2013
Pre season Quiz part two
For those of you who got last month’s Surrey non contractees here are some further posers
1. What will be England’s new ball attack in the Ashes series:
a. Anderson and Broad
b. Anderson and Finn
c. Finn and Broad
d. Broad and Onions
e. Anderson and Onions
f. Finn and Harris
g. Harris and Roland-Jones
h. Trott and Bell
2. What excuses will England use when the Aussies beat them in the Ashes series:
a. We always knew they would be a force to reckon with.
b. How were we to know that their third string seamers would roll us over.
c. It has been a valuable lesson for us and we will take plenty of positives away from the series.
d. KP told us he had overcome his phobia against slow left armers.
3. What are the odds against Steve Smith making the Honours Board with a “five for”:
a. 1,000-1
b. 10,000-1
c. 1,000,000-1
4. What will Mitchell Johnson’s first ball be:
a. A wide down the leg side
b. A wide down the off side
c. A wide over the keepers head
d. A Helmet ball
e. Ian Bell’s wicket
5. It is generally accepted that Middlesex will be County Champions this season, but who will be relegated:
a. Somerset and Lancashire
b. Surrey and Warwickshire
c. Durham and Yorkshire
Out and About with the Professor
The annual geriatric gathering which is the Yorkshire County Cricket Club's AGM took place last week. Your correspondent took his place among the grey hairs and hearing aids to share the optimism of the start of a new season.
...and optimistic we were! Promotion last year, our 150th anniversary to celebrate, some handy new players (Liam Plunkett and Jack Brooks) recruited, two Yorkshiremen in the England top six, Bresnan’s injury getting better and most of the snow had been cleared off the outfield ready for the start of play in six days’ time...perhaps.
The Chairman, Colin Graves, gave a very upbeat report and looked forward to the new season with the prospect of the most hirsute opening attack (Brooks and Sidebottom) on the circuit - it will look like a throwback to the 1970s. At the same time there was much praise for the performances of the players last year, some of whom (Patterson and Ashraf) will presumably lose their places to the new signings - assuming Plunkett stays fit, of course. With both Root and Bairstow likely to be on England duty and McGrath having retired there would appear to be some holes in the batting line up, but Ballance is expected to "come of age" or "step up to the plate" or some other dreadful neologism and hopefully Adam Lyth will repeat his form of last year but not the year before that. We shall see. Perhaps some of the Academy boys will break into the side; there are some Second XI fixtures at my local ground and I will emulate the Great Jack Morgan and pop along to see how they perform - I will be particularly interested in the form of wicketkeeper Barney Gibson (who you may recall a couple of years' ago was plucked from double maths to be the youngest ever county player) and two lads with the pedigree names of Jonathan J. Moxon and W. Rhodes.
The Chairman identified the changes in coaching staff - especially the recruitment of Jason Gillespie - as the principal cause of the improvement in first team performances. He also declared himself satisfied with the financial position of the Club. Yorkshire made a loss last year (they generally do) but it was a smaller one than in 2011 and a much smaller one than in the recent past. No one bothers about this too much these days since the Chairman seems happy to pick up the tab, and Yorkshiremen, being Yorkshiremen, seem happy to permit him to do so. The accounts show the Chairman as an accumulated creditor of the club to the tune of slightly over £7 million.
Incidentally, Yorkshire get £2 million from the ECB (i.e. Sky) which almost exactly matches the wage bill. The only worry was the decline in membership which it seems is mirrored across all counties - we were told that Lancashire membership fell by 500 last year notwithstanding their winning of the Championship.
Some more good news is that our President, Sir Geoffrey, has moved back to Yorkshire. He decided that living in Jersey was a touch inconvenient for home matches and so he has moved into a very nice house in Boston Spa. He was again voted in as the President this year - there was only one candidate - but he still managed to pick up 21 votes against. It was not clear how many of those votes came from the people who had actually played with the great man in the 1970s.
The Director of Cricket, Martyn Moxon, cleared up one of the great puzzles of contemporary cricket: why do they play football before the start of the game? Answer: "Because the lads want to". Why? "To relieve the tedium of warm ups." Apparently the coaching staff have "their hearts in their mouths" when they are doing it and insist that it is non-contact, which of course it often isn't. The Director didn't answer, nor was he asked, why it was not possible for the numerous members of the coaching staff to devise less tedious routines and avoid the possibility of injury. So, I fear, the mystery remains.
Some more good news is that in 2014 the Championship will remain at 16 matches, Graves in his new position with the ECB, having seen off plans to reduce the number and almost all games will start on a Sunday “so we all know where we are”.
So, we’re off! Just as long as they can clear the snow, Yorkshire’s 150 season will start on April 5th. We have an effective coaching staff, a fine Director of Cricket and excellent team…what could possibly go wrong?
Old Trafford Matters
It could be that no readers could care less about the developments at what we now have to call Emirates Old Trafford. But if you want to see what it takes to get test matches at your ground these days then you can be appalled by the following. You will recall that a red monstrosity having nothing to do with cricket was erected to the south of the old pavilion a couple of years ago. Then the square was turned through 90 degrees. Further building work has progressed and there is now a media centre at the east end of the ground opposite the old pavilion. This has been tastefully painted red to match the monstrosity.
Meanwhile the old pavilion is being messed about and currently looks like a Christo installation artwork.
The latest demolition is the old media centre at the south side of the ground. No prizes for guessing what colour its replacement will be.
Match Reports
The Great Jack Morgan continues his nostalgic trawl through his old scorecards
In the first round of the Nat West Bank Trophy in 1984, Middlesex beat Northumberland at Jesmond by 85 runs; Clive Radley scored 64* and John Emburey took 3 for 20 in his 12 overs. In a tight match in the second round, Middlesex beat Nottinghamshire by 5 runs at Trent Bridge; most of the runs came from the third wicket pair of Paul Downton (62) and Mike Gatting (67), but the Man of the Match award went to Emburey for his 1 for 24 in 12 exemplary overs. Gatting won the toss in the quarter final versus Lancashire at Lord's on August 1st and decided to bat first on a wicket that looked sure to offer some assistance to the seam bowlers. Nothing seemed to trouble Graham Barlow, however, as Wilf Slack helped him to put on 73 for the first wicket, but no other home batsman could settle for long enough to contribute more than 12. Barlow had not been in great form in his benefit season, but there was no hint of a problem for him in this innings as he batted brilliantly right through to the last over when was run out for a magnificent 158 (only Alvin Kallicharran and Gordon Greenidge had made higher scores in this competition) with a six, a five and 18 fours as Middlesex closed on 276 for 8 in their 60 overs. Mike Watkinson, later to play Test cricket for England, took 3 for 63 for Lancs. Slack's 23 was not only the second highest score of the innings, but also turned out to be the second highest score of the whole match as Wayne Daniel soon started to wreak havoc in a very fast spell from the pavilion end and quickly had 4 wickets for 8 runs in his first 37 balls. Simon Hughes (3 for 26) and Gatting (2 for 14) joined in the fun and with Daniel (5 for 14) returning to claim last man Jamaican Patrick Patterson, soon to play Test cricket for WI, the visitors were dismissed for 105 before tea in 29.4 overs and Middlesex had won by a 171 runs. No wickets fell to spin in the whole match as neither Emburey nor Phil Edmonds bowled a single ball and Jack Simmons failed to take a wicket for Lancashire. Daniel had put in a strong challenge, but there was never much doubt that the Man of the Match award would go to Barlow.
Again, Gatting won the toss in the semi-final against Northamptonshire at Lord's on August 15th, but this time he asked the visitors to bat first with rain in the forecast. Northants picked only two specialist bowlers and left out players as good as Jim Griffiths (top of the visitors' bowling averages that season), South African Rupert Hanley (second in the visitors' bowling averages that season) and England's David Steele, who was the visitors' leading wicket taker that season, but the batting was strong and it was a little surprising to see Test batsmen Wayne Larkins and Allan Lamb struggling to retrieve the situation after two wickets went down with only 38 on the board. The pair put on 75 before Lamb fell for 35 just before lunch and Larkins followed immediately after the interval for 52, which had taken him 36 overs. The scoring rate was only just over three per over and they needed the acceleration that was provided by future Test player Rob Bailey, the most impressive of the Northants batsmen. Bailey went on to 56* from 77 balls and shared a stand of 63* for the seventh wicket with another future Test player David Capel (23*), but the total of 226 for 6 in 60 overs did not look to be quite enough. Of the home bowlers, Daniel (3 for 33) and Emburey (0 for 24 in 12 miserly overs) stood out. Several showers held up Middlesex's bid for victory and they resumed on day two on 22-0 off 8 overs. Barlow and Slack were soon into their stride on the second morning, but suffered a setback when Barlow was run out for 24 with the score on 55. However, Gatting was a more than adequate replacement and his untroubled partnership of 130 with Slack, against some part time bowling, won the game for Middlesex. Slack fell for 79, but Radley helped his captain to take the team to victory by 8 wickets with Gatt ending the match with a six, as he had done the previous season against the same opponents. Gatt's 88* off 111 balls was a sparkling effort, but the Man of the Match award went to Slack, who had 1 for 49 in his 12 overs to add to his 79 runs.
Kent skipper England's Chris Tavare won the toss and chose to bat first in the final of the Nat West Bank Trophy at Lord's on September 1st, a game that was to turn into an absolute thriller. The wicket seemed distinctly low and slow from the perimeter, but consistent openers Neil Taylor (49) and Mark Benson, soon to win a solitary cap for England (37), provided a fine start for their side with a stand of 95 before both fell just before lunch which was taken at 99 for 2 off 33 overs. Kent needed to accelerate after lunch, but Middlesex kept the run rate in check until Chris Cowdrey, also about to be capped by England, cut loose with 58 in 57 minutes with 4 fours and a six to take Kent up to 232 for 6 off their 60 overs. Barlow, Slack, Gatting and Roland Butcher all got starts for Middlesex, but the scoring rate was no quicker than Kent's had been and none of them was able to go on to the big score that was needed. It was the former England stalwart Derek Underwood, of course, who was the problem for Middlesex, but when Tavare gave him a rest after 9 overs for 12 runs, Radley and Downton made hay and added 87 in under 15 overs, before Radley (67) fell and then Downton (40) followed in the next over. The light was poor, there were two new batsmen at the crease and Middlesex still needed 16 off 23 balls, but Emburey and Edmonds steadily reduced the target to 7 off the final over. The umpires confirmed that 7 was indeed the target because if the scores finished level, Kent would win as they had the higher score after 30 overs. England allrounder of the near future, Richard Ellison, bowled the last over and a leg-bye, three singles and a two left Emburey requiring a single off the last ball. It was 7.45pm and very difficult to see in the gloom, but it looked as if Ellison's attempted yorker turned out to be a low full toss and Embers was able to guide it away to the square leg boundary to win the trophy by four wickets. Kevin Jarvis bowled well to take 3 for 47, but the outstanding bowling of the match came from the parsimonious slow bowlers Underwood (1 for 25 off 12 overs) and Emburey (1 for 27 off 12). Many felt Emburey had a chance of the Man of the Match award for his tight bowling and his heroics with the bat in the dark at the end, others felt Downton had a claim for his two top order victims and his more than useful batting contribution, but the award went to Radley, the third time he had taken the Man of the Match award in finals at Lord's. Radley (184 runs at 61.33), Barlow (218 runs at 54.5), Gatting (215 runs at 53.75) and Slack (196 runs at 39.2) were the main run scorers for Middlesex in the Trophy that season. Daniel (11 wickets at 14.18) was the top wicket taker, though Gatting (3 wickets at 10.66) sneaked to the top of the averages, while Emburey's outstanding bowling in the competition brought him 5 wickets at 19 apiece, but also a niggardly economy rate of less than two runs an over, exceptional stuff.
Sofa Cricket
India v Australia, Hyderabad : second test
Australia batted first, Clarke made a below par 91 and they were dismissed for 237. Siddle got Sehwag early on but then Vijay (167) and Pujara(204) added 370 which formed the bulk of India’s 503. Ashwin took 5 for 63 as Australia were skittled for 131 to complete a humiliating defeat.
New Zealand v England at Dunedin : first test
England were put in and dismissed for 167 showing once again that these guys play too little cricket, not too much. Rutherford scored an extraordinary 171 from 217 balls in reply and England were staring down the barrel starting their second innings 293 in arrears. Compton demonstrated that it is possible to move up to test cricket as a mature performer scoring 117 in nearly seven hours at the crease. Finn started his test career as a number eleven but in this match had crept up to nine with Anderson and the hapless Panesar behind him. In the second innings he usurped Anderson again this time as night watchman because Trott didn’t fancy it. Finn hung around for three and a half hours and scored 56. It was a reminder to batsmen of Gillespie scoring a double century as night watchman. The moral is never give away the chance of time in the middle. The game was saved and England were back in front by the end.
India v Australia at Mohali : third test
Australia batted first and made 408 with their top scorers, rather incongruously being Steve Smith (92) and Mitchell Starc (99). In reply Dhawan, who had replaced Sehwag, teed off making 187 from 174 balls and was first out with the score on 289. Vijay scored 153 and Australia could be reasonably pleased to constrain the Indians to 499. But that was as far as it went for the Aussies as the Indian spinners, Ashwin, Jadeja and Ojha, worked their way through them leaving a comfortable second innings chase for their batsmen to secure a series win.
New Zealand v England at Wellington : second test
Compton secured his opening birth for the time being with another hundred and despite contributions from Trott, Pietersen and Prior the final total of 465 felt less than it promised to be at one time. When Sky interviewed KP on the third morning about Matt Prior’s contribution he managed to turn the conversation to be about the way he, KP, bats. Broad did what he occasionally does, get it right, and ended with an unlikely 6 for 51. The Kiwis looked to be in trouble but the rain was kind to them and they ended up on 162 for 2 in their second innings, having followed on. Kane Williamson made 55 not out from 174 balls in a shade under four hours. It could be that he and Compton are bringing the traditional values of long boring innings back to test cricket.
West Indies v Zimbabwe at Roseau
Shillingford took 5 for 59 and 5 for 34 to facilitate an innings win for the West Indians. Interestingly the West Indian runs were scored by the old guard: Gayle, Chanderpaaul and Ramdin. Why are the Zimbabweans playing at this level? Surely Ireland would do better? If everything has to be competitive these days why isn’t there promotion and relegation between the top flight and the second tier?
India v Australia at Delhi ; fourth test
Australia batted first yet again and Ashwin (5 for 57) went through them again. Siddle top scored with 51 in an unsatisfactory 262. Vijay and Pujara added a breezy 108 for the first wicket but surprisingly Lyon went through them taking 7 for 94. Jadeja scored 43. He has graduated for the one day sides and is looking a more than useful all rounder in the test side. In the second Australian innings he took 5 for 58 and comes on to bowl before the acclaimed Ojha. The Indians knocked off the 158 needed for victory on the third evening with Pujara making 82 not out.
New Zealand v England at Auckland : third test
It is time that all captains were taught that unless it is Trent Bridge on an overcast morning and Jimmy is fancying it you never put the opposition in. You also don’t fall for any shit the groundsman says about what sort of pitch he has prepared. Alistair Cook – sucker! Steve Finn proved, not for the first time, the value of bowling when the opposition is into its final overs and the tail enders are having a go. In the second innings no one seemed to want to bowl, especially Monty. The cover for Swann suddenly looks considerably less than it did a couple of months ago.
MCC v Warwickshire at Abu Dhabi
Whilst many of us have been digging snow the 2013 season got underway in the now traditional venue of the Middle East. Ian Westwood must wish he hadn’t bothered to make the trip. He was dismissed for 0 only for Chopra and Porterfield to then add 307 before the next wicket fell. Warwickshire accumulated 561 against an odd looking MCC bowling attack in which Malan was given a long bowl. Joe Denly top scored in both of the MCC innings but they still lost by an innings. Chris Wright, a Middlesex and Essex reject took eight wickets for the 2012 Champions.
Height Matters
When I meet up with the Professor he often regales me with tales of mixing with the England team at breakfast in five star hotels in foreign climes. He always mentions how tall they all are. Even those who seem to be short houses on TV, such as Morgan, actually turn out to be well above average height. The focus is on the 6’ 4” and over bunch which includes Pietersen, Broad, Finn and Tremlett. However, these guys, who are used to looking down on everyone, would just be medium height in the Pakistan side. Their new left arm quickie, Irfan Mohammad, is 7’ 1” and is currently head and shoulders, literally, above his team mates. When he took his first test wicket recently he offered a high five to greet them. No one could reach to reciprocate.
Anderson and Coaching Matters
When Jimmy Anderson first burst onto the scene he was reasonably quick and could swing the ball. But when he delivered the ball his head was bowed down as if in supplication. The coaches were having none of this and set about changing his action. He went through a miserable time and lost much of his natural rhythm. Eventually he decided to ignore them and revert to his original style. At the time of writing he is about to join an elite band of four bowlers who have reached 300 wickets before the age of thirty. He is still only reasonably quick but when the ball swings is as good as any seamer in the world and is able to swing it both ways. Pity about the bowed head though. Googlies salutes Anderson who had the courage to tell the coaches to “Get Stuffed”.
Boundary Matters
Much is made of the short boundaries in Twenty20 matches where the boundary is brought in to encourage the hitting of sixes to thrill the crowds. In general this practice is frowned upon and a ground that could easily accommodate a 75 yard boundary will often have it reduced to 65 to excite the punters and cause despair amongst the bowlers. But it could never happen in test cricket, could it? Really. At Auckland the test match was played on a rugby football ground with a drop in wicket. The wicket is dropped in sideways and so the straight boundaries are barely fifty yards long. Admittedly they have not been reduced but the distance is farcical. If you want to get a feel for the distance its about the same as the boundary at South Hampstead at the Milverton Road end. On this basis I might still be able to get a throw full pitch to the keeper from fine leg in a test match. On second thoughts I probably couldn’t.
Baseball Matters
Richard supplies these insights
My impression of baseball is that, while on a different scale to county cricket, it is still the sort of game you can just turn up to and get in. There are loads of games, big stadiums and entry doesn’t generally require tortuous membership schemes or frantically hitting F5 on Ticketmaster. This is Yankees v Red Sox on a sunny Saturday afternoon, though, so we were relieved to find only a small queue at the ticket office.
$100 (£70) for two should have been a no-brainer for someone used to England cricket and the Premiership, but it did make me pause. Then I remember the thousands of pounds it cost me to get to this kiosk and hand over the credit card. Daniel, who has witnessed plenty of paternal parsimony in his time, breathes a sigh of relief. As we head towards the gate we assure each other that this is the most excited we’ve ever been.
The bloke in the seat next to mine is asleep. His feet are up on the row in front and his legs are splayed all over my space. I tap him on the shoulder and he pushes a bad-ass bandana back from over his eyes and looks at me with slightly pursed lips. He’s waiting for me to amuse him. ‘I need to sit down.’ I’m trying to be gruff and uncompromising but probably sound like Hugh Grant apologising for spilling Tony Soprano’s pint. He looks around at the swathes of empty seats, smiles, then lets me in.
I think better of asking when his testicles will be sufficiently recovered to allow him to sit properly. He’s got a shaved head, forearms thicker than my thighs and I’m a long way from Headingley’s Western Terrace. I’m glad I made him move though. I could’ve sat somewhere else but it’s going to be a 50,000 full house and I would’ve had to move again at some point. Larry David gets whole episodes from lesser points of principle. Unlike my neighbour, Larry and I are both a credit to the bald community.
I watched my first live baseball in a Melbourne suburb in 1994. I loved it as much as I thought I would but, after sitting through eight scoreless innings, was surprised to hear an American describing cricket as ‘baseball on mogadon’. I’m still fuming at that. In the first innings of my fourth live ballgame I finally see a home run. In 12 hours and more than 72 innings I reckon I’ve seen about 12 runs in total. I’d have seen more than a thousand runs in four T20s wouldn’t I? But of course, cricket’s not about runs, is it?
Baseball’s all about the runs. Runs are so scarce that even getting to first base is cause for a standing ovation. To get there you have to hit a small ball with a thin stick – a ball that’s often propelled at more than 100mph by a dangerous-looking hillbilly with a mullet. Even if you manage to connect it’s unlikely to do you much good. First you’ve got to hit it in the V between first and third bases, then you’ve got to get it past the infield. If you don’t do the latter then the 90 feet to safety might as well by 90 miles.
When someone eventually does make it to first base, the nuance and interest ramps up. Now the fielding side has an extra problem. The first baseman has to stand with his foot on the bag – rather than positioning himself according to where he thinks the batter’s going to hit. The pitcher also has someone else to watch and often has to throw to first base to stop the batter from stealing second. Boston had a man on base when they broke my home run cherry and got two runs. In a low scoring game, two runs can be a mortal blow. An out, on the other hand, is just the game ticking on and engenders nothing more than a ripple from the crowd.
After a couple of innings we’re joined by a group of young Red Sox fans. I fondly imagine they’re frat boys from Harvard or MIT and christen the extra preppy, floppy haired one in the Ray Bans, Bret (Easton Ellis). He points to the back of a T-shirt in front of us, nudges his friend and sniggers. It says ‘NY 26 Red Sox 7, you do the math’. That’s World Series, son.
Boston get on top early and strangle the life out of their pinstriped tormentors. The scoreless innings mount up and we’re left with nothing but nuance. We watch the shortstop relaying balls from the outfield – often having to make split second decisions on which base to throw to – and marvel at a rare NY right field fumble that costs another run. I overhear Bret telling his girlfriend that Boston’s, definitely un-mulletted, relief pitcher went to Yale, as did the catcher. There has, apparently, been a recent Ivy League influx into baseball. That it’s worth remarking on makes for an interesting contrast to our public school dominated summer game.
The seventh inning stretch, a custom of which I was previously unaware, sees us singing, ‘Take me out to the ballgame,’ and Y, M, C and A-ing along with the big screen. The middle of the seventh is also the cue for alcohol sales to cease and for disappointed Yankees fans to start trickling away. We stick it out to the end then pick our way down to the plush, padded seats at ground level near the plate. A glamorous female steward politely tries to steer us to the exit and then fails to take our picture because her nails are too long to push the button on my phone. Once outside, I briefly consider a stroll round the neighbourhood before remembering that we are in the Bronx and I’m responsible for a thirteen year old boy.
Cricket’s not like baseball on mogadon and baseball’s not like rounders on steroids (sometimes it’s like baseball on steroids though). You can fill a book with their differences but after an afternoon as perfect as we’ve ever had at Hove, the MCG or Lord’s, the two games will be forever stitched at the seams in my head. From backyard plates to driveway wickets; North Marine Drive, Scarborough to Yankee Stadium, the Bronx. Take me out to a ball game.
And Daneel writes
It’s a tough life being a cricket fan in the USA; no coverage on television and sometimes even TMS is blocked if the rights aren’t available over here. In desperation, I’ve had to resort to watching baseball. This wasn’t so bad when we were in Seattle. Although the Mariners are pretty awful, at least I’ve seen the Red Sox play live and I enjoyed watching Ichiro single mindedly collect hits one single at a time. Now we live in deepest darkest Georgia and only have terrible Minor League (actually the most minor of the minor leagues) baseball available.
When we were visiting Vancouver, BC a few years ago, we stopped to watch a cricket match taking place in Stanley Park. We were chatting to one of the fielders and he tried to sign me up for his team, despite my living four hours drive away in a different country. They must have been truly desperate. Still, I was flattered. And pleased that I didn’t have to demonstrate my non-skills.
Anyway, fast forward to last week, when I discovered that the West Indies and New Zealand were playing a couple of T20s in Florida. Naturally, being a fan of neither side, not liking T20 and living eight hours drive away in a different state, I leapt at the chance to attend.
We don’t have a good record with sports over here. We went to the Daytona 500, only to find out we’d chosen to attend the one time in its history that the race was rained off. So that was fun. We did get to see trucks towing jet engines around trying to dry the track out though. I dare say that most of the patrons of NASCAR wouldn’t be prepared to make the usual American wisecracks about the quality of British teeth, though.
Actually, it rains all the sodding time here in the South. I’ve never experienced so many thunderstorms in my life. If you’ve ever watched the Masters Golf and wondered why they play it when the weather is like that, it’s because they have no choice unless they want to play in December. This time, Tropical Storm Debby had been hanging around all week, flooding most of the surrounding area, so we were prepared for bad weather. Predictably, it was roasting hot and we got rather sunburnt.
We chose to stay in a budget hotel in Fort Lauderdale. It certainly attracted an interesting clientele; a heady mix of prostitutes (the lady in front of us when we were checking in was trying to rent a room by the hour) and drug dealers. It had almost no cockroaches in it. We won’t be returning. We encountered one of our fellow guests begging outside the pharmacy next door to get money for the vending machine in the hotel lobby.
The game was being played in a 20,000 capacity stadium custom built for cricket. Given that the only ‘proper’ cricket grounds I’ve ever been to are Grace Road and the County Ground, Derby, I’m rather provincial and I was actually quite impressed. Not sure why it’s been built in Florida. I made sure to wear my Antigua T-shirt on the off-chance that Viv Richards or Curtly Ambrose were in attendance (if they were, I didn’t see them). I was secretly rooting for New Zealand, anyway.
I had a Banks beer at the ground, disappointingly not the Marston’s bitter but some mediocre Barbadian lager, but it went well with chicken roti. I spent some time trying to get a photo of a player with the word Cock behind him. On the way home we made our now traditional post-Florida visit stop at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Jacksonville. This time I sensibly chose ‘Wild’ flavour; a previous experiment with ‘Blazin’ had left me almost blind and incapable of driving until my eyesight fully returned. Pro tip – don’t wipe your face with a napkin that’s previously been used to wipe off ridiculously strong chilli sauce.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: [email protected]