G&C 252
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 252
December 2023
Spot the Ball
Cameron Bancroft can only see sandpaper
Twelve things that we have learned from the World Cup
This stuff means that this encounter is considered a “match up”. Equally an off-spinner bowling to a left-handed batsman is considered a match up. It was easier to just say that he was the bowler’s rabbit.
I understand that the umpires are still required to count down the number of balls in the over.
Out and About with the Professor
There is an undeniable pleasure in setting out on a quest and bringing it to a successful conclusion. A pleasure in establishing an objective and, despite trials and obstacles and vicissitudes, obtaining a satisfactory outcome - bringing the entire intrepid endeavour to fruition. So, in the dark days of October, when England’s record was played seven lost six, I decided to leave these shores in search of an international cricket team that even Buttler’s Boys could beat.
Imagine, if you will, the excitement and elation when I came across not one, but two teams who, we could be pretty sure, might fit the bill. Not certain of course, there’s always the matter of the toss and opting to field first in blistering heat, or repeatedly running out our best batter, but I think one might reasonably predict that having struggled to the centre of the island - in emulation of St Paul some two millennia ago – (and with a little help from Uber) I was able to watch an international cricket match between two sides that England might just give a good run for their money: Malta and Cyprus.
The problem is (for this specific matter of comparison) that the two teams were not playing a 50-overs ODI. They weren’t even playing a T20. This was a ten over match. It was the first of a “series” of four matches played over a weekend. It seems to be a rather odd format. Why play four 10 over games (morning and afternoon; Saturday and Sunday) when you could (say) play two T20s or even just one 40 over match? There didn’t seem to be a clear answer to this although almost every question about the arrangements for this and similar competitions that take part in other parts of Europe drew askance references to “India” and “betting”. Presumably four games gives more betting opportunities than one, although I’m told that in India there is a betting market for almost any part of any game: the next wicket, or six, or no ball, or…anything. The morning/afternoon format also gave an opportunity for the Maltese women’s team, who were taking on the might of Estonia.
It was all a bit odd, and in truth the cricket wasn’t great, but it was an opportunity to see cricket in a different part of the world. The national Maltese side dates back, so I was told, to 1891 with the first recorded game on the island being played by sailors from Nelson’s fleet. British military have played there since the 1890’s and WG Grace had a game, apparently, on a stop off en route to Australia.
The ground is part of a very impressive sports complex which includes: 20 tennis courts, squash courts, a pool, a golf course, football and rugby pitches, a polo pitch and so on. Its origins are also military, it would seem, built by the navy after the War. This is the only pitch being used on the island which makes the concept of a league sound a bit odd until you realise that all the teams play on the same (artificial) pitch. Last year Malta hosted an international seniors tournament which sounded like a lot of fun – I was sorry I missed it until I learned that the “Tournament Ambassador” was Henry Blofeld.
As for the match itself, it was a touch one-sided, with Malta proving far too strong for Cyprus: 150 for 4 from their ten overs against 76 from Cyprus. In the second ten over match, the scores were even higher: 171 to 94. 171 in ten overs seems (to me at least) to be going it some and there was, of course, the (now) usual shower of sixes. An artificial pitch is an obvious help in the six hitting business and in the first match the local man, Basil George displayed his enthusiasm for the task with 7 sixes in his 61 runs from 23 balls. His efforts were warmly applauded by the “crowd” which numbered nine in total (including your correspondent).
Basil George acknowledges the applause from the crowd…all nine of us.
One slightly strange aspect of the game was that all the overs were bowled from the same end. It was the same for both sides, of course, and for all matches. The reason was again, seemingly, connected to India. The game was being televised (that is to say “streamed”) but there was only one (fixed) camera. Some scaffolding had been erected at the one end for the camera and a small green tent nearby served as the commentary box. If the bowling had been from both ends then for half of the match “viewers” would have seen only the back of the batter – which was, as I recall, how the BBC did things for a number of years.
And the standard of play? Difficult to judge, obviously, but I would have thought Malta might have been a decent club side; they had a brisk opening bowler, a spinner who could bowl a length and Mr George, of course, to whack it. Cyprus - nearer a club second team (at best).
Still, an interesting visit and marginally better than watching Australia win yet another trophy. – and, of course, a quest accomplished.
This & That
During the World Cup footage was shown of Rashid Khan in practice where he was seen bowling two balls from the same hand. Both landed on a length. It was only speculation that one was a leg break and the other a googly.
I reported last month that Bairstow was extremely reluctant to leave the crease after being caught on the boundary. This attitude was also exhibited by Stokes after he was bowled by Afridi in the Pakistan match. There is a touch of WG Grace in this approach to occupation of the crease as in “they have come to see me bat not you bowl”. Virat Kholi took a similar line in the final after he had been bowled but it was probably true that “they” had come to see him bat.
England were best supported by the Barmy Army in their final match against Pakistan. Presumably the Barmy Army had arrived to celebrate advancement to the play offs and then stay to watch the semi final and ultimately a successful final.
Rob Key made this extraordinary pronouncement when he arrived in India towards the end of the competition: “Being completely honest, I made the mistake of thinking that it will be all right when we get there and that’s not been the case. England's first team had played 50-over cricket together so infrequently, it wasn't actually clear who should be in the XI. The resultant selectorial umming and ahhing then added a second layer of uncertainty. Getting the band back together did not work out.” How can we be expected to take these people seriously?
I appreciate that the commentators have to fill about seven hours for each game but with three of them in the commentary box they feel the need to talk continually and inevitably they search to find matters of interest or contention. We were repeatedly told that the wicket was slow even when Indian batsmen were flailing the ball all over the place and in the final that it was difficult to bat on except for Travis Head who found it easy. Are these ex-players actually finding excuses for their own past performances? Obviously, none of them have ever played on uncovered wickets!
Once Australia had walked off with the 50 over World Cup which was supposed to be won by India, the two sides were back at it again in a series of T20 games. Australia held over Josh Inglis and, puzzlingly, Steve Smith from the 50 over side whilst India retained Suryakumar (Sky) who they made captain. Inglis scored Australia’s fastest hundred in this format in the first match leaving India to score a formidable 209 to win. Ishan Kishan seemed to be the preferred successor to Dhoni a few years back but he got overtaken by Pant up until his car accident. And then the selectors opted for KL Rahul for the T20 side. Anyway, Ish Kish and Sky made light work of the chase and left Rinky Dink (Rinku Singh) to see them home.
In the second match the openers Jaiswal and Gaikwad both scored fifties, the former taking five consecutive boundaries off Abbott. Ish Kish then scored another fifty as the Australians again failed to notice that he scores all his runs on the leg side. Rinky scored 31 off nine balls and India finished on a formidable 235 which was far too many for Australia, despite the presence of Maxwell who had returned to their line up. But the Mighty Maxwell did feature strongly in the third game. Wade’s captaincy has been odd, to say the least, in this series and having put India in again he opted to give Maxwell the final over which Gaikwad and Varma took for 30, which took India to 222. But more bizarre was that Wade opted to stand back to Maxwell’s off spinners! India reduced Australia to 128 for 4 with just seven overs remaining but as we have come know this is not daunting to Maxwell, who saw his side home with 104 not out.
Club side Surfers Paradise had victory in their grasp against Mudgeeraba in the Gold Coast's Premier League Division Three. Chasing 179, they needed just five runs from the final over with six wickets in hand to win. But the Mudgeeraba captain Gareth Morgan then took six wickets in six balls in the final over to win the match. The most wickets taken in an over of professional cricket is five, which has been achieved on three occasions, Neil Wagner playing for Otago in 2011, Al-Amin Hossain for a Bangladesh Cricket Board XI in 2013 and Abhimanyu Mithun for Indian state side Karnataka in 2019.
There will plenty of raised eyebrows in Lancashire next season as Ramsbottom Cricket Club will have its Women’s 1stXI playing in the Lancashire League’s Men’s Third Tier. Lancashire League chairman Mike Bibby said he was "very excited" to welcome the team to the third division and hopes other leagues follow their lead. He added: "There have been a number of changes to the league in the last few years and this is the icing on the cake." Andy Dalby, director of cricket at the club, said the idea to play against teams predominantly made up of men came after the team, the first XI won every league game last year. He said after getting the backing of the players, their parents and supporters, they approached the Lancashire League who were "hugely supportive of the initiative".
Erlin Haaland became probably the first Premier League player to score with his bollox in the epic 4-4 draw with Arsenal. As the ball was fired in from the right Haaland lost his footing at the six-yard box and then slid the rest of the way to the back of the net on his ass. The ball became lodged between his legs and he shunted it over the line with the aid of the contents of his jock strap.
World Cup Team of the Competition
Visitors to the BBC website picked the following as its team of the tournament:
1. Rohit Sharma (India) - selected in 63% of teams
Games: 10, Runs: 550, Average: 55, Strike-rate: 124.15
2. Quinton de Kock (South Africa) - 64%
Games: 10, Runs: 594, Average: 59.4, Strike-rate: 107.02, Dismissals: 20
3. Rachin Ravindra (New Zealand) - 68%
Games: 10, Runs: 578, Average: 64.22, Strike-rate: 106.22, Wickets: Five
4. Virat Kohli (India) - 94%
Games: 10, Runs: 711, Average: 101.57, Strike-rate: 90.68
5. Daryl Mitchell (New Zealand) - 61%
Games: 10, Runs: 552, Average: 69, Strike-rate: 111.06
6. Glenn Maxwell (Australia) - 79%
Games: Eight, Runs: 398, Average: 66.33, Strike-rate: 150.18, Wickets: Five
7. Ravindra Jadeja (India) - 67%
Games: 10, Wickets: 16, Average: 22.18, Economy rate: 4.25, Runs: 111, Strike-rate: 115.62
8. Mohammed Shami (India) - 94%
Games: 6, Wickets: 23, Average: 9.13, Economy rate: 5.01
9. Shaheen Afridi (Pakistan) - 29%
Games: Nine, Wickets: 18, Average: 26.72, Economy rate: 5.93
10. Jasprit Bumrah (India) - 76%
Games: 10, Wickets: 18, Average: 18.33, Economy rate: 3.98
11. Adam Zampa (Australia) - 61%
Games: 10, Wickets: 22, Average: 21.40, Economy rate: 5.47
Not surprisingly many of the above featured in the following:
Moment of the tournament
1. Australia's Glenn Maxwell hitting 201 not out against Afghanistan - 67%
2. India's Virat Kohli's hitting his record-breaking 50th ODI century against New Zealand - 20%
3. Sri Lanka's Angelo Mathews being timed out against Bangladesh - 7%
4. Australia's Glenn Maxwell hitting fastest World Cup century off 40 balls against the Netherlands - 3%
5. Pakistan's Haris Rauf taking superb one-handed return catch against South Africa - 3%
Player of the tournament
1. Virat Kohli (India) - 43%
2. Mohammed Shami (India) - 32%
3. Glenn Maxwell (Australia) - 11%
4. Rachin Ravindra (New Zealand) - 8%
5. Quinton de Kock (South Africa) - 5%
6. Adam Zampa (Australia) - 1%
Game of the tournament
1. Australia v Afghanistan - 36%
2. Australia v New Zealand - 19%
3. South Africa v Pakistan - 18%
4. Netherlands v South Africa - 17%
5. Afghanistan v England - 10%
Thompson Matters
In 1968 while in Rishikesh (Rishikesh! Seriously? Who knew?) and finding himself, Paul McCartney wrote the first verse to what it is said all three other band members consider to be the worst song they ever recorded: Maxwell’s Silver Hammer. Most Googlies readers will no doubt remember its inclusion on Abbey Road (Side 2).
Fifty-five years on another Maxwell produced, in all its contexts, the most remarkable exhibition of the striking of a cricket ball we may ever witness.
Maxwell’s Willow Hammer
With apologies to Paul McCartney.
The score was risible, actually quite critical-
Aussies going home?
Shock defeat soon all over YouTube ohh uh oh oh
Just as Starc had gone Warner checks what jet he’s on
He was not alone
‘stralia almost out as poor Glenn lay prone
But just as they were packing to go
A knock would drop the jaw
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer fills bowlers full of dread
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer means they are never dead
To spoil all the fun Mujeeb drops an easy one
Maxwell stands alone, swats unceremonious sixes
Blow after blow
Mo and family screaming from the gallery
Shout, ‘We just need three!’
Glenn can’t bend his knee but the runs still flow uh, oh, oh
And when another boundary he clips
A thought fills Afghan minds
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer fills bowlers full of dread
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer means they are never dead
One more six from Glenn, halfway to Kabul again
Each ball just destroyed
Next an asteroid flies the black sight screen
Pat tells Glenn to flay but he just knows no other way
So he just unwinds
Into one he climbs with the old heave ho, uh, oh, oh
So Afghan fame and unbridled joy
To history is consigned
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer fills bowlers full of dread
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer means they are never dead
Willow hammer Max
Very few Googlies readers will have witnessed the batting and occasional wicket-keeping of the lovely Jack Singman. South Hampstead 2nd XI in the 60s and early70s. He wore a range of home knitted ill-fitting cardigan sweaters (courtesy of his partner Pat) with coloured wool stripes which only vaguely matched club colours. Jack batted with a permanent toothy smile. He never moved his feet. The second Maxwell hundred was mildly reminiscent of Jack.
Barnet Matters
Pep City’s recent signing, Doku, looks like he has hired himself out to a “Pin the tail on the Donkey” competition and has forgotten to remove the appendage afterwards.
Marcus Rashford has returned to playing duties at Old Trafford with a hairstyle which features shaved sides of the head and the mane dyed a copper bronze, which looks like a hedgehog perched on his head.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
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James Sharp
Broad Lee House
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High Peak
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 252
December 2023
Spot the Ball
Cameron Bancroft can only see sandpaper
Twelve things that we have learned from the World Cup
- That you have to be match fit to play in matches. No amount of net practice can prepare for the rigours of competitive cricket. Once England had some match practice they started to play some decent cricket. Unfortunately, they were already out of the competition by then.
- When 400 isn’t enough even though the other side only gets 200. The New Zealand v Pakistan match was critical to qualification when it was played and New Zealand racked up a formidable 401 for 6 after being put in to bat. At the halfway stage in their innings Pakistan had reached 200 for 1 with Fakhar Zaman hitting eleven sixes in his 126 not out. But then it rained and our friends Duckworth Lewis pronounced that Pakistan had won by 21 runs. Go figure.
- Catches win matches. There was some exceptional fielding and fabulous catches during the competition but also some very expensive and inexplicable drops. Early on in each of these innings straightforward catches were dropped: David Warner (162), Glen Maxwell (201*), Ben Stokes (108).
- Statistics now dominate the game. The players, commentators and coaches are now obsessed with statistics which lead to the dreaded term “match ups”. Computers have facilitated an apparent infinite bank of information about every aspect of an individual’s performance. For example, when a right-handed batsman comes to the crease and a slow left armer is bowling the stats will be spued out saying that:
- He has been dismissed twice already in this series by slow left armers.
- He has been dismissed 25 times in ODIs by slow left armers.
- LBW is the most common dismissal (17), followed by bowled (4) and caught (4). This will be further broken down by analysis of which dismissals resulted from round the wicket deliveries and over the wicket deliveries. Unbelievably, we are then told whether on each occasion the wicket was good or bad, fast or slow, followed by the length and speed of each delivery.
- He averages 38 when batting in a first innings against slow left armers but only 22 in second innings.
- He has never hit a slow left armer for six.
- And so on.
This stuff means that this encounter is considered a “match up”. Equally an off-spinner bowling to a left-handed batsman is considered a match up. It was easier to just say that he was the bowler’s rabbit.
- Fred Rumsey would have loved it. It seems that every side now has to have at least one fast left arm bowler. Australia – Starc, Pakistan – Afridi, South Africa – Jansen, New Zealand – Boult, Afghanistan - Fazalhuq Farooqi , Sri Lanka - Isaru Udana , Bangladesh - Mustafizur Rahman. England got the email and overreacted taking three – Willey, Curran (yes, the IPL’s most expensive player was there) and Topley. India, of course, didn’t need one.
- Jack Robertson would have hated it. In his Masterclass sessions Kevin Pietersen explained that he never bothered about where his left leg was planted, the key was that he had to have his head over the ball. This now seems old hat as it is now received wisdom that to conduct big hitting (you must never call it slogging) you have to clear your left leg out of the way before adopting a baseball hitters stance. Glen Maxwell takes this to his own extremes as demonstrated in his 40-ball century. However, in the match against Afghanistan after going through another demonstration of inimitable hitting he developed severe cramps and was unable to walk let alone run. He then used his bat like a tennis racket swatting boundaries to take his side home.
- Sixes win matches, or do they? In the final match of the league stage India hit 16 whilst the Netherlands only managed nine in reply. In the first semi-final India hit 19 but New Zealand only managed eleven in reply. In the second semi-final South Africa hit 8 but Australia only hit six but beat them. In the final India hit three but Australia managed five. It appears to be that if your side hits more sixes than your opponents you are more likely to win.
- The World’s best batsmen are Kohli, Smith, Babar, Root and Williamson? Well this used to be the case but of these only Kholi had a World Cup to be proud of. Smith may now be past his best, Williamson seems to be injury prone. Root looks like becoming the elder statesman in the England set up which may go either way in his search for big runs. Babar has been relieved of captaincy duties and this should free him up to score big again. So. who will join Kholi, Babar and possibly Root over the coming years? To be in this company you have to bat long and score big and many of the next generation don’t appear to have the temperament to do either. Its too early to add Ravindra to this company but Shubman Gill may deliver.
- The new funny shots are here to stay. No one under the age of forty seems surprised when the ramp, reverse ramp, reverse sweep, reverse backward sweep, shunt between the legs, upper cut etc are employed. They sometimes are productive and are apparently utilised partly to make the setting of fields difficult. However, anyone over forty finds it inexplicable when batsmen get out to these shots particularly on the first ball that they face. Most innings in the World Cup included an instance of a dismissal when the batsman was contorting himself into strange and unnatural positions. This included the Mighty Maxwell in the semi final when he attempted a reverse sweep, missed it and ended up on his ass before being adjudged out LBW.
- The on-field umpires have become largely superfluous.
- They no longer are responsible for calling front or back foot “no-balls”.
- They refer all run outs and stumpings for replay adjudication. This includes instances where the batsman has already left the field of play.
- Any piece of fielding near the boundary rope (I cannot refer to it as the Toblerone) whether a catch or a boundary stop is referred to the TV team.
- Any catch near the ground is referred to the TV team. Incidentally all low catches near the ground look as if the have been grounded in slow motion.
- Catches behind the wicket or in the slips are referred to the TV team.
- The majority of LBWs are referred to the TV team. There is a strong suspicion that many umpires give “not out” in the knowledge that the fielding team will refer the decision. They then get the benefit of the doubt from the TV team if the ball is not hitting the wicket full on. If on the other hand they give a batsman out, the batsman can refer and the umpire’s decision is upheld even if the ball is barely clipping the wicket.
I understand that the umpires are still required to count down the number of balls in the over.
- New means of time wasting can still be contrived. The latest absurd antic is when the flashing bails fail to illuminate. This is apparently a disaster and the game cannot possibly proceed until adequate replacements are found. When such an event occurs a team of ground staff and sundry officials come out to investigate and waste more time trying out suitably colour coordinated replacements. Why do we have flashing bails anyway? Surely it would be more appropriate to investigate why they don’t come off when the stumps are bumped quite hard by the ball?
Out and About with the Professor
There is an undeniable pleasure in setting out on a quest and bringing it to a successful conclusion. A pleasure in establishing an objective and, despite trials and obstacles and vicissitudes, obtaining a satisfactory outcome - bringing the entire intrepid endeavour to fruition. So, in the dark days of October, when England’s record was played seven lost six, I decided to leave these shores in search of an international cricket team that even Buttler’s Boys could beat.
Imagine, if you will, the excitement and elation when I came across not one, but two teams who, we could be pretty sure, might fit the bill. Not certain of course, there’s always the matter of the toss and opting to field first in blistering heat, or repeatedly running out our best batter, but I think one might reasonably predict that having struggled to the centre of the island - in emulation of St Paul some two millennia ago – (and with a little help from Uber) I was able to watch an international cricket match between two sides that England might just give a good run for their money: Malta and Cyprus.
The problem is (for this specific matter of comparison) that the two teams were not playing a 50-overs ODI. They weren’t even playing a T20. This was a ten over match. It was the first of a “series” of four matches played over a weekend. It seems to be a rather odd format. Why play four 10 over games (morning and afternoon; Saturday and Sunday) when you could (say) play two T20s or even just one 40 over match? There didn’t seem to be a clear answer to this although almost every question about the arrangements for this and similar competitions that take part in other parts of Europe drew askance references to “India” and “betting”. Presumably four games gives more betting opportunities than one, although I’m told that in India there is a betting market for almost any part of any game: the next wicket, or six, or no ball, or…anything. The morning/afternoon format also gave an opportunity for the Maltese women’s team, who were taking on the might of Estonia.
It was all a bit odd, and in truth the cricket wasn’t great, but it was an opportunity to see cricket in a different part of the world. The national Maltese side dates back, so I was told, to 1891 with the first recorded game on the island being played by sailors from Nelson’s fleet. British military have played there since the 1890’s and WG Grace had a game, apparently, on a stop off en route to Australia.
The ground is part of a very impressive sports complex which includes: 20 tennis courts, squash courts, a pool, a golf course, football and rugby pitches, a polo pitch and so on. Its origins are also military, it would seem, built by the navy after the War. This is the only pitch being used on the island which makes the concept of a league sound a bit odd until you realise that all the teams play on the same (artificial) pitch. Last year Malta hosted an international seniors tournament which sounded like a lot of fun – I was sorry I missed it until I learned that the “Tournament Ambassador” was Henry Blofeld.
As for the match itself, it was a touch one-sided, with Malta proving far too strong for Cyprus: 150 for 4 from their ten overs against 76 from Cyprus. In the second ten over match, the scores were even higher: 171 to 94. 171 in ten overs seems (to me at least) to be going it some and there was, of course, the (now) usual shower of sixes. An artificial pitch is an obvious help in the six hitting business and in the first match the local man, Basil George displayed his enthusiasm for the task with 7 sixes in his 61 runs from 23 balls. His efforts were warmly applauded by the “crowd” which numbered nine in total (including your correspondent).
Basil George acknowledges the applause from the crowd…all nine of us.
One slightly strange aspect of the game was that all the overs were bowled from the same end. It was the same for both sides, of course, and for all matches. The reason was again, seemingly, connected to India. The game was being televised (that is to say “streamed”) but there was only one (fixed) camera. Some scaffolding had been erected at the one end for the camera and a small green tent nearby served as the commentary box. If the bowling had been from both ends then for half of the match “viewers” would have seen only the back of the batter – which was, as I recall, how the BBC did things for a number of years.
And the standard of play? Difficult to judge, obviously, but I would have thought Malta might have been a decent club side; they had a brisk opening bowler, a spinner who could bowl a length and Mr George, of course, to whack it. Cyprus - nearer a club second team (at best).
Still, an interesting visit and marginally better than watching Australia win yet another trophy. – and, of course, a quest accomplished.
This & That
During the World Cup footage was shown of Rashid Khan in practice where he was seen bowling two balls from the same hand. Both landed on a length. It was only speculation that one was a leg break and the other a googly.
I reported last month that Bairstow was extremely reluctant to leave the crease after being caught on the boundary. This attitude was also exhibited by Stokes after he was bowled by Afridi in the Pakistan match. There is a touch of WG Grace in this approach to occupation of the crease as in “they have come to see me bat not you bowl”. Virat Kholi took a similar line in the final after he had been bowled but it was probably true that “they” had come to see him bat.
England were best supported by the Barmy Army in their final match against Pakistan. Presumably the Barmy Army had arrived to celebrate advancement to the play offs and then stay to watch the semi final and ultimately a successful final.
Rob Key made this extraordinary pronouncement when he arrived in India towards the end of the competition: “Being completely honest, I made the mistake of thinking that it will be all right when we get there and that’s not been the case. England's first team had played 50-over cricket together so infrequently, it wasn't actually clear who should be in the XI. The resultant selectorial umming and ahhing then added a second layer of uncertainty. Getting the band back together did not work out.” How can we be expected to take these people seriously?
I appreciate that the commentators have to fill about seven hours for each game but with three of them in the commentary box they feel the need to talk continually and inevitably they search to find matters of interest or contention. We were repeatedly told that the wicket was slow even when Indian batsmen were flailing the ball all over the place and in the final that it was difficult to bat on except for Travis Head who found it easy. Are these ex-players actually finding excuses for their own past performances? Obviously, none of them have ever played on uncovered wickets!
Once Australia had walked off with the 50 over World Cup which was supposed to be won by India, the two sides were back at it again in a series of T20 games. Australia held over Josh Inglis and, puzzlingly, Steve Smith from the 50 over side whilst India retained Suryakumar (Sky) who they made captain. Inglis scored Australia’s fastest hundred in this format in the first match leaving India to score a formidable 209 to win. Ishan Kishan seemed to be the preferred successor to Dhoni a few years back but he got overtaken by Pant up until his car accident. And then the selectors opted for KL Rahul for the T20 side. Anyway, Ish Kish and Sky made light work of the chase and left Rinky Dink (Rinku Singh) to see them home.
In the second match the openers Jaiswal and Gaikwad both scored fifties, the former taking five consecutive boundaries off Abbott. Ish Kish then scored another fifty as the Australians again failed to notice that he scores all his runs on the leg side. Rinky scored 31 off nine balls and India finished on a formidable 235 which was far too many for Australia, despite the presence of Maxwell who had returned to their line up. But the Mighty Maxwell did feature strongly in the third game. Wade’s captaincy has been odd, to say the least, in this series and having put India in again he opted to give Maxwell the final over which Gaikwad and Varma took for 30, which took India to 222. But more bizarre was that Wade opted to stand back to Maxwell’s off spinners! India reduced Australia to 128 for 4 with just seven overs remaining but as we have come know this is not daunting to Maxwell, who saw his side home with 104 not out.
Club side Surfers Paradise had victory in their grasp against Mudgeeraba in the Gold Coast's Premier League Division Three. Chasing 179, they needed just five runs from the final over with six wickets in hand to win. But the Mudgeeraba captain Gareth Morgan then took six wickets in six balls in the final over to win the match. The most wickets taken in an over of professional cricket is five, which has been achieved on three occasions, Neil Wagner playing for Otago in 2011, Al-Amin Hossain for a Bangladesh Cricket Board XI in 2013 and Abhimanyu Mithun for Indian state side Karnataka in 2019.
There will plenty of raised eyebrows in Lancashire next season as Ramsbottom Cricket Club will have its Women’s 1stXI playing in the Lancashire League’s Men’s Third Tier. Lancashire League chairman Mike Bibby said he was "very excited" to welcome the team to the third division and hopes other leagues follow their lead. He added: "There have been a number of changes to the league in the last few years and this is the icing on the cake." Andy Dalby, director of cricket at the club, said the idea to play against teams predominantly made up of men came after the team, the first XI won every league game last year. He said after getting the backing of the players, their parents and supporters, they approached the Lancashire League who were "hugely supportive of the initiative".
Erlin Haaland became probably the first Premier League player to score with his bollox in the epic 4-4 draw with Arsenal. As the ball was fired in from the right Haaland lost his footing at the six-yard box and then slid the rest of the way to the back of the net on his ass. The ball became lodged between his legs and he shunted it over the line with the aid of the contents of his jock strap.
World Cup Team of the Competition
Visitors to the BBC website picked the following as its team of the tournament:
1. Rohit Sharma (India) - selected in 63% of teams
Games: 10, Runs: 550, Average: 55, Strike-rate: 124.15
2. Quinton de Kock (South Africa) - 64%
Games: 10, Runs: 594, Average: 59.4, Strike-rate: 107.02, Dismissals: 20
3. Rachin Ravindra (New Zealand) - 68%
Games: 10, Runs: 578, Average: 64.22, Strike-rate: 106.22, Wickets: Five
4. Virat Kohli (India) - 94%
Games: 10, Runs: 711, Average: 101.57, Strike-rate: 90.68
5. Daryl Mitchell (New Zealand) - 61%
Games: 10, Runs: 552, Average: 69, Strike-rate: 111.06
6. Glenn Maxwell (Australia) - 79%
Games: Eight, Runs: 398, Average: 66.33, Strike-rate: 150.18, Wickets: Five
7. Ravindra Jadeja (India) - 67%
Games: 10, Wickets: 16, Average: 22.18, Economy rate: 4.25, Runs: 111, Strike-rate: 115.62
8. Mohammed Shami (India) - 94%
Games: 6, Wickets: 23, Average: 9.13, Economy rate: 5.01
9. Shaheen Afridi (Pakistan) - 29%
Games: Nine, Wickets: 18, Average: 26.72, Economy rate: 5.93
10. Jasprit Bumrah (India) - 76%
Games: 10, Wickets: 18, Average: 18.33, Economy rate: 3.98
11. Adam Zampa (Australia) - 61%
Games: 10, Wickets: 22, Average: 21.40, Economy rate: 5.47
Not surprisingly many of the above featured in the following:
Moment of the tournament
1. Australia's Glenn Maxwell hitting 201 not out against Afghanistan - 67%
2. India's Virat Kohli's hitting his record-breaking 50th ODI century against New Zealand - 20%
3. Sri Lanka's Angelo Mathews being timed out against Bangladesh - 7%
4. Australia's Glenn Maxwell hitting fastest World Cup century off 40 balls against the Netherlands - 3%
5. Pakistan's Haris Rauf taking superb one-handed return catch against South Africa - 3%
Player of the tournament
1. Virat Kohli (India) - 43%
2. Mohammed Shami (India) - 32%
3. Glenn Maxwell (Australia) - 11%
4. Rachin Ravindra (New Zealand) - 8%
5. Quinton de Kock (South Africa) - 5%
6. Adam Zampa (Australia) - 1%
Game of the tournament
1. Australia v Afghanistan - 36%
2. Australia v New Zealand - 19%
3. South Africa v Pakistan - 18%
4. Netherlands v South Africa - 17%
5. Afghanistan v England - 10%
Thompson Matters
In 1968 while in Rishikesh (Rishikesh! Seriously? Who knew?) and finding himself, Paul McCartney wrote the first verse to what it is said all three other band members consider to be the worst song they ever recorded: Maxwell’s Silver Hammer. Most Googlies readers will no doubt remember its inclusion on Abbey Road (Side 2).
Fifty-five years on another Maxwell produced, in all its contexts, the most remarkable exhibition of the striking of a cricket ball we may ever witness.
Maxwell’s Willow Hammer
With apologies to Paul McCartney.
The score was risible, actually quite critical-
Aussies going home?
Shock defeat soon all over YouTube ohh uh oh oh
Just as Starc had gone Warner checks what jet he’s on
He was not alone
‘stralia almost out as poor Glenn lay prone
But just as they were packing to go
A knock would drop the jaw
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer fills bowlers full of dread
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer means they are never dead
To spoil all the fun Mujeeb drops an easy one
Maxwell stands alone, swats unceremonious sixes
Blow after blow
Mo and family screaming from the gallery
Shout, ‘We just need three!’
Glenn can’t bend his knee but the runs still flow uh, oh, oh
And when another boundary he clips
A thought fills Afghan minds
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer fills bowlers full of dread
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer means they are never dead
One more six from Glenn, halfway to Kabul again
Each ball just destroyed
Next an asteroid flies the black sight screen
Pat tells Glenn to flay but he just knows no other way
So he just unwinds
Into one he climbs with the old heave ho, uh, oh, oh
So Afghan fame and unbridled joy
To history is consigned
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer fills bowlers full of dread
Bang bang Maxwell’s willow hammer means they are never dead
Willow hammer Max
Very few Googlies readers will have witnessed the batting and occasional wicket-keeping of the lovely Jack Singman. South Hampstead 2nd XI in the 60s and early70s. He wore a range of home knitted ill-fitting cardigan sweaters (courtesy of his partner Pat) with coloured wool stripes which only vaguely matched club colours. Jack batted with a permanent toothy smile. He never moved his feet. The second Maxwell hundred was mildly reminiscent of Jack.
Barnet Matters
Pep City’s recent signing, Doku, looks like he has hired himself out to a “Pin the tail on the Donkey” competition and has forgotten to remove the appendage afterwards.
Marcus Rashford has returned to playing duties at Old Trafford with a hairstyle which features shaved sides of the head and the mane dyed a copper bronze, which looks like a hedgehog perched on his head.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
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James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
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