G&C 176
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 176
August 2017
Caption Competition
1. Stuart Broad: Quick, Moeen’s handing out Jaffa cakes.
2. Joe Root: Just think what our number one spinner would have done.
3. Gary Ballance: See you all at Old Trafford.
Trevor Bayliss: I don’t think so.
4. Stuart Broad: Will Toby be in the side now?
Jimmy Anderson: Only when Mark Wood is injured.
Stuart Broad: We’ll call him a fixture then.
5. Keaton Jennings: Being another left hander, I’m glad that I don’t have to face Moeen.
Mark Ramprakesh: I think you’ve got bigger problems to worry about.
Out & About with the Professor
“What are we going to do about the England opening batsman’s position?”
I think I have read two or three articles with titles similar to this every year since Strauss retired. Indeed, I think I may have read even more articles on this subject than there have been opening partners for Alistair Cook.
It is worth a re-visit for two reasons: first, I thought the issue had been settled for some time when Jennings walked off the field in Mumbai having scored a century on debut, and second, because the number of post-Strauss partners for Cook has now –according to the most recent article I have seen - reached a full eleven.
I don’t, in general, go in for too much data-gazing and averages are, in particular, often misleading; but these are (I hope) the relevant stats for each of the eleven (playing as an opener):
Tests Hundreds Average
Compton 10 2 31
Root 6 1 42
Carberry 6 - 29
Robson 7 1 31
Trott 4 - 19
Lyth 7 1 20
Moeen 3 - 14
Hales 11 - 27
Duckett 2 - 23
Hameed 3 - 32
Jennings 5 1 26
Doesn’t look too good, does it?
Jennings’ failures in this series, and especially the manner of his failures, has set the hare running again. I read, for example, that Stoneman might be in the frame or that Robson might return. Of the above, most are ruled out for one reason or another, although a return to form might bring Hameed back into consideration.
What are we to make of Jennings? I have thought for some time that he looked to be a Test-match opener: stands tall, plays straight, leaves well, etc., and he had that essential for all aspirant English Test batsman in being born in Johannesburg. In the county games I’ve seen him play he has always looked the part but didn’t get too many runs. Then he got that huge score against Yorkshire, got picked for England and made the debut hundred. At this point I was in the process of smugly awarding myself high praise as a selector. Then these three recent Tests and he has appeared, at times, to be frozen to the spot, not so much playing straight and leaving well as playing straight down the wrong line and missing. I went to the first two Tests and he looked pretty much at sea. The 48 in the second innings at the Oval looked better but it was not, in truth, very convincing. So what now? Presumably he will be picked for the Old Trafford Test and may do well. But for Australia? And what if he fails? Stoneman to make up the round dozen?
Being a selector is a thankless task and, I suppose, anyone who undertakes the role and expects thanks is by definition ill-suited for the job. Given that no one is obliged to be a selector it seems strange that so many have come forward over the years: if you get it right (early selection of Joe Root) few will mention it, and if you get it wrong (any one of the 11 above) everybody mentions it…often. That being said, the above role call can hardly be anything other than evidence of abject failure on the part of the selectors – of people who are supposed to “know the game”.
We have, in this Journal, frequently played the amateur selector game and (perhaps less than frequently) got it right. It is clearly a difficult task. The transition from county to international cricket looks to be a big step (bigger, perhaps, than from club to county). A couple of years’ ago I was part of a conversation with a former England selector, Geoff Miller. His point was that selecting batsmen was especially difficult given their lack of exposure to top-class bowling in the Championship. Pre-T20, etc. it was commonplace to see world-class opening bowers (Waqar and Wasim, for example) playing the best part of the whole season in the county game. Selectors could look at prospective players confronting the best bowlers in the world. Of course, the stars do still pop up from time to time in county cricket but they often seem to be batters and in many cases have such short contracts they ought to be on an hourly rate. So Jennings, et. al. are not, in the Miller analysis, tested against the best.
So what is a poor selector to do? Well, judging by the above list, pick almost everyone who is eligible for a game or two and then move on. But how does somebody who gets a hundred on debut at, of all places, Mumbai, turn into the frozen statue we saw at Lord’s and the Oval (he was hardly at the crease at Trent Bridge)? Both pitches have been quite poor by past standards so it has obviously not been easy. The Sky ebullients, of course, have all gushed about “good cricket” pitches, “something in it for bat and ball”, etc. But they would have hated it when they were playing. What they seem to want, increasingly, is “excitement”. As they get older they have shorter attention spans. A maiden over is almost too much for them to bear and they are off on what they had to eat last night, their favourite music, what the taxi driver had to say, and on and on. The days of Richie Benaud are, sadly, long gone. They are forever urging players to be “positive” (a catch-all metaphor for doing something to hold their attention). Frankly I’d be happy if Jennings could bat for an hour and not look like getting out: positively, negatively or neutrally.
Presumably he will be picked for Old Trafford and I hope to look in on Day 4 and see him play. If Manchester could produce a Mumbai-like dust bowl then he may do well. Then again…
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan updates us
At Chesterfield there was a fine reunion of old Middlesex chaps as (capt) B Godleman (98) shared a last wicket stand of 102 with our old left arm seamer Gurjit Sandhu 46*, who was never a great bat, but not completely useless either. Gurjit took 3-60 in the Durham first innings and, promoted from 11 to 9 in the Derby 2nd innings, made 9.
S Finn suffered a back spasm at Edgbaston and had to pull out of the Championship match v Warwickshire and was replaced by J Harris. Murts was the best of the Middlesex bowlers as they eventually got the home team out for 334 and Eskinazi is leading the response with a good sized ton. Stevie added only 1 (he finished with 179) next day and it was disappointing that Middlesex only drew level with Warwickshire on 334, but then Middlesex slipped Warwickshire out for 223 (Trott 99, Helm 5-59) reviving hopes of victory, but then they fell to 1-2, Robson 0 and 0 in the match, Esky also 0, (178-0 on day 1, 1-2 on day 2: did he get totally pissed last night?). Middlesex sneaked home by 1 wicket (Compton 49, Higgins 45, Simpson 40), which is great because we were in dire need of the points, but it is embarrassing to be run so close by the bottom team in the division who have lost 5 out of 8.
A quick look at the Middlesex averages: batting: Voges 57.5, Robson 49.92, Eskinazi 49.76, Malan 47, Stirling 46.5, Simpson 40.08 (Holden averages 46.75, but not for Middlesex); bowling: Malan 19.29, Franklin 28.55, Higgins 28.86, Rayner 29.52, (Podmore 24.13, Harris 24.29, but mainly for other counties).
T Bayliss talks some bollocks doesn't he? He is now saying that Dawson is Eng's "first" spinner and that Moeen is their "second" spinner apparently to please Moeen, who thinks of himself as a batter who bowls a bit!
The MCC team taking on Afghanistan at Lord's today includes 2 Middlesex men: B McCullum and T Murtagh: no scores on the Beeb's website though... or in the G (probably rained off anyway).
The Cricketer features an interview with Middlesex batting coach D Houghton: he rates N Gubbins and J Simpson very highly. S Harmer got the performance of the month award for 5-77 and 9-95 v Mx. Now that Ireland have Test status, Irish internationals such as T Murtagh (born in Lambeth) and P Stirling (born in Belfast) will be regarded as overseas players, unless they drop out of international cricket, thus weakening an already fairly weak Irish team.
Surrey have re-signed R Clarke, 10 years after he left for Derby then Warwick. He has always been a good player, but he might be seen as a strange signing at 35.
This & That
When T20 was introduced is was widely thought that there could be no place for spinners as they would be slogged to all parts but more recently they have taken on an elevated position and have become the first name on the team sheet. It all started, as do all innovations in the current game, at the IPL where leg spinners suddenly commanded huge prices at the auction and various guys almost unheard of were taking key roles in the matches. Amongst the greats is Badree who rarely goes for many and most of the batters are happy to see off rather that attempt to score off.
So, it is no surprise to find that coaches in the English game have followed suit and suddenly leg spinners are everywhere and are given respect even when they have done nothing to deserve it. Rashid is the prime example and even his all too regular long hops are patted respectfully back these days. At Derbyshire Imran Tahir is plying his trade for his fourteenth county, Somerset have Max Waller, Middlesex have Nathan Sowter, Sussex have Will Beer, Northants have Sodhi, Hampshire have Mason Crane and Red Mist himself, Glamorgan use Colin Ingram and even Jo Denly gets a bowl for Kent. It won’t last and someday soon one of the wielders of the massive willows will realise that this is just a con and will cash in on the friendly lobs being offered.
One of the most pilloried bowlers in these pages over the years has been The Tattooed Dernbach. I have watched him a couple of times this season in what is euphemistically called the shortest form of the game and I have to say he has impressed. He now bowls exclusively back of the hand deliveries with unnatural and unbelievable accuracy and hardly any of the batters can lay a bat on him let alone score. It won’t last and someday soon one of the wielders of the massive willows will realise that this is just a con and will cash in on the friendly lobs being offered.
The bizarre layout of this year’s fixture lists has resulted in the domestic T20 competition coinciding with the test matches. Not wanting to cheat its viewers out of any action the broadcast T20 matches have had their start times put back till 7pm on test match days. This means that the poor crowds at these matches have to shiver in sub zero temperatures before the game even starts. If there is any rain or other delay the matches are lucky to finish the same day.
Meanwhile, whilst England made only 133 chasing 400 plus at Trent Bridge against South Africa, Sri Lanka successfully chased 390 in a test match against Zimbabwe.
India made 600 against Sri Lanka at Galle. Opener Shikha Dhawan made 190 from 168 balls. This is scoring at Sehwag rates.
In the Championship at Beckenham Kent batted on to reach 701 for 7. Denly made 182 from 226, but South African opener Sean Dickson made 318. In reply Northants joined in the run fest and avoided the follow on by reaching 568 with Duckett and Middlesex men Rossington and Holden scoring hundreds.
Watching Tom Westley and Dawid Malan in the test side last week made me wonder what had happened to the queue of promising batters who were seemingly set for golden test careers once Ian Bell and others had been removed from the side. Neither Westley nor Malan can be considered youngsters and so they must be either late developers or have been second choices back then.
The professor has already discussed the openers where Jennings will be lucky to avoid joining a heap of discards which includes Lyth, Robson, Compton and Hales. Hameed is suffering from second season syndrome. Roy has never seemingly been considered for the test side but is the preferred choice to accompany Hales in the one-day formats.
In the middle order Vince has been and gone, Taylor was forced to a sad and premature retirement. Ballance was lucky to break a finger at Trent Bridge as it avoided the embarrassment of another dropping. Duckett, perhaps the biggest white hope of them all, must continue to score heavily to get his second chance. His time will come.
T20 Stuff
There continues to be some extraordinary performances in this competition. At Cheltenham Middlesex restricted(sic) Gloucester to 182 for 5. In reply Middlesex were 119 for 8 with 26 balls left. Nathan Sowter was dismissed off the final ball of the innings with the scores level, leaving Ryan Higgins undefeated on 68 from just 28 deliveries.
At Taunton, Eion Morgan, making a rare appearance in Middlesex strip, top scored with 59 from 28 balls, which is unexceptional in itself but his boundary hits were seven sixes and no fours.
Yorkshire have been scoring freely despite a lack of significant contributions from David Willey who has suffered the indignity of coming in first wicket down rather than opening as was the norm for him at Northampton. That was until the Worcester match at Headingley when, still at number three, he scored 118 from 55 balls with eight sixes in a massive total of 233 for 6. Worcester inevitably fell short but not before Ross Whitely had scored 65 from 26 balls with eight sixes including six sixes in an over.
At Trent Bridge Notts scored 227 for 3 thanks to Ricky Wessels 110 from 54 balls with seven sixes. In reply Derbyshire made a creditable, if losing, 222 for 5.
The Oval looked magnificent for the return Middlesex fixture and Sky kept showing panoramic views of the arena probably because the cricket was tedious on a worn wicket and Middlesex made no impression on Surrey’s mediocre score.
Goodness knows how much it cost Middlesex to employ Brendon McCullum but his contributions have been almost as insignificant as David Warner’s were a few years back. The exception was at Richmond where he scored 88 from 51 balls with six sixes. He has gone off to play somewhere else now and so Middlesex will have to continue to be mediocre without him.
At Fortress Chelmsford Essex rattled up 219 for 4 against Glamorgan. Vikram Chopra, who is not a renown tonker, scored 103 not out from 59 balls with eight sixes. However, Glamorgan silenced the local faithfulls with victory off the final ball thanks to 114 from Colin Ingram from 55 balls with nine sixes.
Back at the Oval, Surrey rattled up a useful 205 for 5 against Kent but the visitors won with balls to spare thanks to Joe Denly’s 116 not out from 63 balls with six sixes. Denly has been in superb form this year and I saw him playing another sublime innings against Somerset at Canterbury when his timing was what the art of batting is really all about.
Middlesex made another hash of their chase against Hampshire’s 189 for 9 reaching 74 for 7 before Tim Southee smashed 64 not out from 32 balls. It made a pathetic attempt more presentable without gaining victory. Earlier in the Lord’s fixture against Surrey Middlesex had been 133 for 5 chasing 158 with 26 deliveries left. After a flurry of wickets and boundaries Stephen Finn scored the winning runs with one wicket and ten balls to spare.
At Arundel Colin Ingram scored 101 from 47 deliveries with seven sixes but Glamorgan only reached 198 for 3. In reply Luke Wright scored 101 from 53 balls with seven sixes but this wasn’t enough as Sussex lost by 18 runs.
It must have been a good wicket at New Road as Durham reached 201 for 2 with Paul Collingwood scoring 108 not out from 60 balls. But the home side reached 204 for 2 with eleven balls to spare with Joe Clarke scoring 124 not out from 53 balls with eight sixes.
At Trent Bridge Yorkshire scored a formidable 223 for 5 but the home side knocked them off with five balls top spare thanks to Alex Hales’ 101 from 47 balls.
Blofeld Matters
I received the following from Murray Hedgcock
I of course have the greatest respect for the Professor, whose profound thoughts much enliven the pages of Googlies – apart from his inability to appreciate that a national team should be represented by, well, nationals – not imported mercenaries. (I saw a recent report that there are 47 South Africans playing county cricket this season, with a special in one paper presenting Keaton Jennings, captain of South Africa Under 19 in 2011, as the anointed successor to Joe Root as England skipper. Hmmmm).
However, I must differ further with the Professor on his miserable-git criticism of Henry Blofeld. If cricket, and particularly English cricket, does not have a place for the eccentric, even when the jolly jester edges near buffoon status, then it is a staid and boring game. And Blowers can’t be blamed for being born to the purple, attending Eton, or sounding like a Wodehouse character. He is what he is.
Come on Prof, lighten up! The game needs the funsters, even those of aristocratic birth, as well as the sober-sided analysts – or the prejudiced academics. Remember the slogan of the News of the World – “All Human Life is Here”. I suggest a similar maxim should apply to cricket.
And then this from Allen Bruton with which I concur
Trust you are well and thanks for the monthly copy of Googlies. The latest was particularly well received as it is always a pleasure to read an article that absolutely reflects one’s own opinion, in this case the Professor’s comments regarding the quite dreadful Henry Blofeld. My own Blofeld ‘highlight’ involved listening for what seemed hours in the forlorn hope of hearing the score only for him to confuse Curtly Ambrose, nudging towards 7ft. with Gus Logie shorter than the average flat race jockey.
On retirement, instead of the proposed theatre tour, I feel that in the manner of Desert Island Discs he be dispatched to a remote and uninhabited destination. Rather than music he should be allowed, in fact compelled, to take his fellow Etonian Boris Johnson with him. Buffoon Island would seem a suitable name where they would be happy spouting rubbish to each other and the rest of us delighted to be rid of them.
Private Eye Matters
George sent me this
I thought your circulation might enjoy this, which I saw in Private Eye:
“I can see a lot of up and down movements from Kane Williamson.
I think he’s applying a new rubber”
Jonanthan Agnew, radio 4.
A couple of months ago there was one from a snooker commentator:
“That was a terrific 69 for Jenkins. He’ll be feeling a lot better after that”
Oval Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
I went to the Oval for the Championship match between Surrey and Hampshire that started on 3 July. Ex-Middlesex batsman George Bailey won the toss for the visitors and had no hesitation in batting first on a flat, grassless, sun-baked pitch. It was a slight surprise that Hants lost 2 wickets for 71, but experienced opener Jimmy Adams was still there and now he was joined by the talented (ex?) England strokemaker James Vince. Vince played a praiseworthy and extremely attractive innings of 104 off 129 balls with 19 fours and shared a splendid stand of 161 with Adams for the third wicket, but when Vince departed, another fine stand developed between Adams and Bailey which had reached 129 when Adams finally fell for an excellent 144 off 262 balls with 19 fours and 2 sixes.
Tasmanian Bailey now found another handy partner in Zimbabwean Sean Ervine and a fine partnership of 167 for the fifth wicket resulted before Ervine fell for 83 off 123 balls with 8 fours and a six. Debutant Ian Holland (a 26 year old allrounder from Melbourne) was Bailey's new partner and another 72 were added before the captain finally departed for an exceptional 161 off 294 balls with 15 fours and 2 sixes. Another ex-Middlesex man Gareth Berg gave us a splendid cameo of 35 off 16 balls with 3 sixes and Holland was on 58 not out off 76 balls when the declaration came at tea on day 2 with Hants on 648 for 7.
The Surrey reply got off to a good start with a fine opening partnership between skipper Rory Burns and Mark Stoneman, which had reached 103 when Stoneman surprisingly departed for 57 off 80 balls with 10 fours. Jason Roy helped Burns to add 56 for the fourth wicket and Dom Sibley (57 off 134 balls with 8 fours) did even better in helping his captain put on 104 for the fifth wicket. Burns continued in his unflappable fashion and Tom Curran (53 off 109 balls with 7 fours) joined him in a valuable stand of 99 for the eighth wicket before Surrey were all out for 483 narrowly failing to avoid the follow on and leaving Burns carrying his bat for a magnificent career best 219 not out off 423 balls with 27 fours and a six.
You would have thought that he might have fancied a rest, but Burns came out again (he just could not get enough of the flat track!) and he and Stoneman put on another 109 for the first wicket before Stoneman went for 47 off 95 balls with 5 fours and Burns was finally dismissed for 68 off 112 balls with 10 fours (narrowly missing being on the pitch for the complete match), giving him 287 runs in the match for once out as Surrey closed on 166-3. This was the first time that I had seen Mason Crane in action and, while I was dubious about his England selection after averaging 45.45 with the ball last season, I was quietly impressed by his control of line and length (not always a leg-spinner's strength), but I must point out that his match figures in this match were 57-9-222-1. This was quite a contrast with the new boy Holland (right arm medium fast) who took 5 for 53 in the match. Match drawn: Surrey 13 points, Hampshire 15.
King Cricket Matters
Alex Bowden explains
We’ve told you before how we once saw a story in the local paper where a woman had come second in some sort of vegetable growing competition despite being the only person to enter something in that particular category. The judges decided that her entry was only worthy of a silver medal, despite it having zero competition. So it is with Moeen Ali. Speaking before the second Test, England coach Trevor Bayliss asserted that the man we like to call Bowling Ali was the team’s second spinner.
England promptly dropped their first spinner, but who’s to say that Moeen isn’t still second in a hierarchy of one? People don’t call Moeen a part-timer quite as much they once did, but the all-rounder is still short of the respect he deserves. Perhaps it’s a matter of perception and expectation.
As we’ve been saying for three years now, Moeen Ali is not a spinner to tie up an end – nor is that something he should particularly aspire to. Maybe if people accept this and realise that defensive bowling lies down a different road to attacking bowling, England’s best player might be acknowledged as precisely that. Failing that, this hat trick should at least buy him a couple more matches.
Minor Counties Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
I went to the lovely Berkshire ground at Finchampstead to see the Unicorns Counties Championship Western Division match against Herefordshire which started on July 16. The visitors batted first and made a modest 141 a/o (skipper Matt Pardoe 48, Euan Woods 13-3-18-4, ex-Middlesex allrounder Chris Peploe 21.3-12-24-3, Ethan Bamber 3-51) and Berks emphasised the paucity of the Herefs effort by racing to 334-8 in their allowed 90 overs (capt Jimmy Morris 79, Andy Rishton 74, Archie Carter 39, Peploe 36). The visitors did slightly better in their second innings, but still only managed 215 a/o (Benny Ellis 73, Nick Hammond 53, Tom Nugent 3-25), which left Berks needing only 23 to win and they achieved this by promoting Peploe to no 1 and he responded by scoring all the runs himself (25*) in 2 overs as the home team strolled home by 10 wickets to remain firmly on top of the table.
Ged Matters
It has to be said that, up until this day, our attempts over the years, with Lavender and Escamillo Escapillo, to watch Middlesex and Lancashire play cricket, had been soggy experiences to say the least. Indeed, previous attempts by just me and Escamillo Escapillo to watch our respective counties play each other had been thwarted for one reason or another until last season, where we managed to squeeze in a half day .
So after yesterday’s washout – delightfully filled with activities in Liverpool instead – it was a joy to see blue skies on the Sunday morning and a forecast that suggested little or no interruptions to play. We aimed to get to the ground in time for the start, but hadn’t counted on the local Sunday trading laws, so although M&S (other sources of sandwiches, crisps and water are available) opens at 10:30, it doesn’t actually open the tills until 11:00.
Shopping is not something I like to do; I like to buy things I want/need, I don’t like to shop. So 10:35 to 11:00 that morning was not the most enjoyable/memorable part of the day. I won’t be making that mistake again on a Sunday morning.
Still, we had the Escamillo-mobile on stand-by, so we were still inside the ground and wandering around by 11:20.
We took up good front row seats in our chosen position quite quickly. Soon after that, Daisy got quite shirty with me because I didn’t want to start drinking at 12:00 on a Sunday. Escamillo Escapillo was driving anyway and I knew what was coming later, so we left it to the girls to start drinking that early in the day.
There were quite a few Middlesex supporters around on the Sunday – some came and sat quite close to us. Soon after lunch was called by the umpires, Barmy Kev came and joined us for a while.
Barmy Kev didn’t take it upon himself to remind me that I owe him a drink or three and I don’t need reminding. But I didn’t want to drink that early in the day; I knew what was coming later, plus I didn’t want to reciprocate Barmy Kev’s generous hospitality at Lord’s with the less salubrious (I really mean less expensive) offerings at the Trafalgar Ground.
Meanwhile Escamillo Escapillo and Lavender were both as happy as Larry; the former because Lancashire were doing well in the match, the latter because EE was as happy as Larry and she was getting a bit merry with Daisy on the fermented grape juice.
We’d bought plenty of sandwiches for everyone, while Frank wanted us to know unequivocally that, while we were visitors on his patch, he was going to buy the drinks aplenty. Perhaps there is some sort of by-law about this for Merseyside.
Escamillo Escapillo was becoming even happier than Larry, despite sticking strictly to driver’s lemonade, as Lancashire’s position went from good to seemingly impregnable. Lavender likewise for both of the reasons expressed earlier.
As tea came round, so the young couple said their goodbyes to us, as planned; they were heading home that afternoon/evening, whereas Daisy and I were staying on the extra night.
Frank said that he too would only stick around for another hour or so after the young couple left, but that was plenty of time for us to finish catching up with some of our news, swap some old stories and discuss the current political maelstrom. Cricket, wine, water, memories, news, political maelstrom…
In addition to his generosity with the drinks, Frank seems to have decided that I should be the curator of his Keele picture memorabilia, handing me an envelope with a few photographs,
It was a really lovely day – at last Daisy and I have spent some time actually watching cricket with Lavender and Escamillo Escapillo – indeed it had been a lovely weekend with them. Daisy and I stuck around for a few more minutes until it started to get a bit chilly again. We wandered round to the hospitality tent and got a chance to say goodbye to Keith Hayhurst and one or two others who hadn’t been around when we said our goodbyes there on Friday
Strange XIs
The Great Jack Morgan inadvertently sent me a Strange XI in an email recently:
K Shine,
J Denly,
M Holden,
A Rossington,
B Godleman,
G Sandhu,
G.Bailey,
G Berg,
V Philander,
C Peploe,
C Steel
All you have to do is identify which Jazz Hat they all qualify for.
I know many readers used to enjoy Jack’s teasers. If you respond to this in numbers he might be persuaded to pick some more.
Old Danes Gathering
The next Old Danes Gathering at Shepherds Bush CC is scheduled for 2018.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also a large number of photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 176
August 2017
Caption Competition
1. Stuart Broad: Quick, Moeen’s handing out Jaffa cakes.
2. Joe Root: Just think what our number one spinner would have done.
3. Gary Ballance: See you all at Old Trafford.
Trevor Bayliss: I don’t think so.
4. Stuart Broad: Will Toby be in the side now?
Jimmy Anderson: Only when Mark Wood is injured.
Stuart Broad: We’ll call him a fixture then.
5. Keaton Jennings: Being another left hander, I’m glad that I don’t have to face Moeen.
Mark Ramprakesh: I think you’ve got bigger problems to worry about.
Out & About with the Professor
“What are we going to do about the England opening batsman’s position?”
I think I have read two or three articles with titles similar to this every year since Strauss retired. Indeed, I think I may have read even more articles on this subject than there have been opening partners for Alistair Cook.
It is worth a re-visit for two reasons: first, I thought the issue had been settled for some time when Jennings walked off the field in Mumbai having scored a century on debut, and second, because the number of post-Strauss partners for Cook has now –according to the most recent article I have seen - reached a full eleven.
I don’t, in general, go in for too much data-gazing and averages are, in particular, often misleading; but these are (I hope) the relevant stats for each of the eleven (playing as an opener):
Tests Hundreds Average
Compton 10 2 31
Root 6 1 42
Carberry 6 - 29
Robson 7 1 31
Trott 4 - 19
Lyth 7 1 20
Moeen 3 - 14
Hales 11 - 27
Duckett 2 - 23
Hameed 3 - 32
Jennings 5 1 26
Doesn’t look too good, does it?
Jennings’ failures in this series, and especially the manner of his failures, has set the hare running again. I read, for example, that Stoneman might be in the frame or that Robson might return. Of the above, most are ruled out for one reason or another, although a return to form might bring Hameed back into consideration.
What are we to make of Jennings? I have thought for some time that he looked to be a Test-match opener: stands tall, plays straight, leaves well, etc., and he had that essential for all aspirant English Test batsman in being born in Johannesburg. In the county games I’ve seen him play he has always looked the part but didn’t get too many runs. Then he got that huge score against Yorkshire, got picked for England and made the debut hundred. At this point I was in the process of smugly awarding myself high praise as a selector. Then these three recent Tests and he has appeared, at times, to be frozen to the spot, not so much playing straight and leaving well as playing straight down the wrong line and missing. I went to the first two Tests and he looked pretty much at sea. The 48 in the second innings at the Oval looked better but it was not, in truth, very convincing. So what now? Presumably he will be picked for the Old Trafford Test and may do well. But for Australia? And what if he fails? Stoneman to make up the round dozen?
Being a selector is a thankless task and, I suppose, anyone who undertakes the role and expects thanks is by definition ill-suited for the job. Given that no one is obliged to be a selector it seems strange that so many have come forward over the years: if you get it right (early selection of Joe Root) few will mention it, and if you get it wrong (any one of the 11 above) everybody mentions it…often. That being said, the above role call can hardly be anything other than evidence of abject failure on the part of the selectors – of people who are supposed to “know the game”.
We have, in this Journal, frequently played the amateur selector game and (perhaps less than frequently) got it right. It is clearly a difficult task. The transition from county to international cricket looks to be a big step (bigger, perhaps, than from club to county). A couple of years’ ago I was part of a conversation with a former England selector, Geoff Miller. His point was that selecting batsmen was especially difficult given their lack of exposure to top-class bowling in the Championship. Pre-T20, etc. it was commonplace to see world-class opening bowers (Waqar and Wasim, for example) playing the best part of the whole season in the county game. Selectors could look at prospective players confronting the best bowlers in the world. Of course, the stars do still pop up from time to time in county cricket but they often seem to be batters and in many cases have such short contracts they ought to be on an hourly rate. So Jennings, et. al. are not, in the Miller analysis, tested against the best.
So what is a poor selector to do? Well, judging by the above list, pick almost everyone who is eligible for a game or two and then move on. But how does somebody who gets a hundred on debut at, of all places, Mumbai, turn into the frozen statue we saw at Lord’s and the Oval (he was hardly at the crease at Trent Bridge)? Both pitches have been quite poor by past standards so it has obviously not been easy. The Sky ebullients, of course, have all gushed about “good cricket” pitches, “something in it for bat and ball”, etc. But they would have hated it when they were playing. What they seem to want, increasingly, is “excitement”. As they get older they have shorter attention spans. A maiden over is almost too much for them to bear and they are off on what they had to eat last night, their favourite music, what the taxi driver had to say, and on and on. The days of Richie Benaud are, sadly, long gone. They are forever urging players to be “positive” (a catch-all metaphor for doing something to hold their attention). Frankly I’d be happy if Jennings could bat for an hour and not look like getting out: positively, negatively or neutrally.
Presumably he will be picked for Old Trafford and I hope to look in on Day 4 and see him play. If Manchester could produce a Mumbai-like dust bowl then he may do well. Then again…
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan updates us
At Chesterfield there was a fine reunion of old Middlesex chaps as (capt) B Godleman (98) shared a last wicket stand of 102 with our old left arm seamer Gurjit Sandhu 46*, who was never a great bat, but not completely useless either. Gurjit took 3-60 in the Durham first innings and, promoted from 11 to 9 in the Derby 2nd innings, made 9.
S Finn suffered a back spasm at Edgbaston and had to pull out of the Championship match v Warwickshire and was replaced by J Harris. Murts was the best of the Middlesex bowlers as they eventually got the home team out for 334 and Eskinazi is leading the response with a good sized ton. Stevie added only 1 (he finished with 179) next day and it was disappointing that Middlesex only drew level with Warwickshire on 334, but then Middlesex slipped Warwickshire out for 223 (Trott 99, Helm 5-59) reviving hopes of victory, but then they fell to 1-2, Robson 0 and 0 in the match, Esky also 0, (178-0 on day 1, 1-2 on day 2: did he get totally pissed last night?). Middlesex sneaked home by 1 wicket (Compton 49, Higgins 45, Simpson 40), which is great because we were in dire need of the points, but it is embarrassing to be run so close by the bottom team in the division who have lost 5 out of 8.
A quick look at the Middlesex averages: batting: Voges 57.5, Robson 49.92, Eskinazi 49.76, Malan 47, Stirling 46.5, Simpson 40.08 (Holden averages 46.75, but not for Middlesex); bowling: Malan 19.29, Franklin 28.55, Higgins 28.86, Rayner 29.52, (Podmore 24.13, Harris 24.29, but mainly for other counties).
T Bayliss talks some bollocks doesn't he? He is now saying that Dawson is Eng's "first" spinner and that Moeen is their "second" spinner apparently to please Moeen, who thinks of himself as a batter who bowls a bit!
The MCC team taking on Afghanistan at Lord's today includes 2 Middlesex men: B McCullum and T Murtagh: no scores on the Beeb's website though... or in the G (probably rained off anyway).
The Cricketer features an interview with Middlesex batting coach D Houghton: he rates N Gubbins and J Simpson very highly. S Harmer got the performance of the month award for 5-77 and 9-95 v Mx. Now that Ireland have Test status, Irish internationals such as T Murtagh (born in Lambeth) and P Stirling (born in Belfast) will be regarded as overseas players, unless they drop out of international cricket, thus weakening an already fairly weak Irish team.
Surrey have re-signed R Clarke, 10 years after he left for Derby then Warwick. He has always been a good player, but he might be seen as a strange signing at 35.
This & That
When T20 was introduced is was widely thought that there could be no place for spinners as they would be slogged to all parts but more recently they have taken on an elevated position and have become the first name on the team sheet. It all started, as do all innovations in the current game, at the IPL where leg spinners suddenly commanded huge prices at the auction and various guys almost unheard of were taking key roles in the matches. Amongst the greats is Badree who rarely goes for many and most of the batters are happy to see off rather that attempt to score off.
So, it is no surprise to find that coaches in the English game have followed suit and suddenly leg spinners are everywhere and are given respect even when they have done nothing to deserve it. Rashid is the prime example and even his all too regular long hops are patted respectfully back these days. At Derbyshire Imran Tahir is plying his trade for his fourteenth county, Somerset have Max Waller, Middlesex have Nathan Sowter, Sussex have Will Beer, Northants have Sodhi, Hampshire have Mason Crane and Red Mist himself, Glamorgan use Colin Ingram and even Jo Denly gets a bowl for Kent. It won’t last and someday soon one of the wielders of the massive willows will realise that this is just a con and will cash in on the friendly lobs being offered.
One of the most pilloried bowlers in these pages over the years has been The Tattooed Dernbach. I have watched him a couple of times this season in what is euphemistically called the shortest form of the game and I have to say he has impressed. He now bowls exclusively back of the hand deliveries with unnatural and unbelievable accuracy and hardly any of the batters can lay a bat on him let alone score. It won’t last and someday soon one of the wielders of the massive willows will realise that this is just a con and will cash in on the friendly lobs being offered.
The bizarre layout of this year’s fixture lists has resulted in the domestic T20 competition coinciding with the test matches. Not wanting to cheat its viewers out of any action the broadcast T20 matches have had their start times put back till 7pm on test match days. This means that the poor crowds at these matches have to shiver in sub zero temperatures before the game even starts. If there is any rain or other delay the matches are lucky to finish the same day.
Meanwhile, whilst England made only 133 chasing 400 plus at Trent Bridge against South Africa, Sri Lanka successfully chased 390 in a test match against Zimbabwe.
India made 600 against Sri Lanka at Galle. Opener Shikha Dhawan made 190 from 168 balls. This is scoring at Sehwag rates.
In the Championship at Beckenham Kent batted on to reach 701 for 7. Denly made 182 from 226, but South African opener Sean Dickson made 318. In reply Northants joined in the run fest and avoided the follow on by reaching 568 with Duckett and Middlesex men Rossington and Holden scoring hundreds.
Watching Tom Westley and Dawid Malan in the test side last week made me wonder what had happened to the queue of promising batters who were seemingly set for golden test careers once Ian Bell and others had been removed from the side. Neither Westley nor Malan can be considered youngsters and so they must be either late developers or have been second choices back then.
The professor has already discussed the openers where Jennings will be lucky to avoid joining a heap of discards which includes Lyth, Robson, Compton and Hales. Hameed is suffering from second season syndrome. Roy has never seemingly been considered for the test side but is the preferred choice to accompany Hales in the one-day formats.
In the middle order Vince has been and gone, Taylor was forced to a sad and premature retirement. Ballance was lucky to break a finger at Trent Bridge as it avoided the embarrassment of another dropping. Duckett, perhaps the biggest white hope of them all, must continue to score heavily to get his second chance. His time will come.
T20 Stuff
There continues to be some extraordinary performances in this competition. At Cheltenham Middlesex restricted(sic) Gloucester to 182 for 5. In reply Middlesex were 119 for 8 with 26 balls left. Nathan Sowter was dismissed off the final ball of the innings with the scores level, leaving Ryan Higgins undefeated on 68 from just 28 deliveries.
At Taunton, Eion Morgan, making a rare appearance in Middlesex strip, top scored with 59 from 28 balls, which is unexceptional in itself but his boundary hits were seven sixes and no fours.
Yorkshire have been scoring freely despite a lack of significant contributions from David Willey who has suffered the indignity of coming in first wicket down rather than opening as was the norm for him at Northampton. That was until the Worcester match at Headingley when, still at number three, he scored 118 from 55 balls with eight sixes in a massive total of 233 for 6. Worcester inevitably fell short but not before Ross Whitely had scored 65 from 26 balls with eight sixes including six sixes in an over.
At Trent Bridge Notts scored 227 for 3 thanks to Ricky Wessels 110 from 54 balls with seven sixes. In reply Derbyshire made a creditable, if losing, 222 for 5.
The Oval looked magnificent for the return Middlesex fixture and Sky kept showing panoramic views of the arena probably because the cricket was tedious on a worn wicket and Middlesex made no impression on Surrey’s mediocre score.
Goodness knows how much it cost Middlesex to employ Brendon McCullum but his contributions have been almost as insignificant as David Warner’s were a few years back. The exception was at Richmond where he scored 88 from 51 balls with six sixes. He has gone off to play somewhere else now and so Middlesex will have to continue to be mediocre without him.
At Fortress Chelmsford Essex rattled up 219 for 4 against Glamorgan. Vikram Chopra, who is not a renown tonker, scored 103 not out from 59 balls with eight sixes. However, Glamorgan silenced the local faithfulls with victory off the final ball thanks to 114 from Colin Ingram from 55 balls with nine sixes.
Back at the Oval, Surrey rattled up a useful 205 for 5 against Kent but the visitors won with balls to spare thanks to Joe Denly’s 116 not out from 63 balls with six sixes. Denly has been in superb form this year and I saw him playing another sublime innings against Somerset at Canterbury when his timing was what the art of batting is really all about.
Middlesex made another hash of their chase against Hampshire’s 189 for 9 reaching 74 for 7 before Tim Southee smashed 64 not out from 32 balls. It made a pathetic attempt more presentable without gaining victory. Earlier in the Lord’s fixture against Surrey Middlesex had been 133 for 5 chasing 158 with 26 deliveries left. After a flurry of wickets and boundaries Stephen Finn scored the winning runs with one wicket and ten balls to spare.
At Arundel Colin Ingram scored 101 from 47 deliveries with seven sixes but Glamorgan only reached 198 for 3. In reply Luke Wright scored 101 from 53 balls with seven sixes but this wasn’t enough as Sussex lost by 18 runs.
It must have been a good wicket at New Road as Durham reached 201 for 2 with Paul Collingwood scoring 108 not out from 60 balls. But the home side reached 204 for 2 with eleven balls to spare with Joe Clarke scoring 124 not out from 53 balls with eight sixes.
At Trent Bridge Yorkshire scored a formidable 223 for 5 but the home side knocked them off with five balls top spare thanks to Alex Hales’ 101 from 47 balls.
Blofeld Matters
I received the following from Murray Hedgcock
I of course have the greatest respect for the Professor, whose profound thoughts much enliven the pages of Googlies – apart from his inability to appreciate that a national team should be represented by, well, nationals – not imported mercenaries. (I saw a recent report that there are 47 South Africans playing county cricket this season, with a special in one paper presenting Keaton Jennings, captain of South Africa Under 19 in 2011, as the anointed successor to Joe Root as England skipper. Hmmmm).
However, I must differ further with the Professor on his miserable-git criticism of Henry Blofeld. If cricket, and particularly English cricket, does not have a place for the eccentric, even when the jolly jester edges near buffoon status, then it is a staid and boring game. And Blowers can’t be blamed for being born to the purple, attending Eton, or sounding like a Wodehouse character. He is what he is.
Come on Prof, lighten up! The game needs the funsters, even those of aristocratic birth, as well as the sober-sided analysts – or the prejudiced academics. Remember the slogan of the News of the World – “All Human Life is Here”. I suggest a similar maxim should apply to cricket.
And then this from Allen Bruton with which I concur
Trust you are well and thanks for the monthly copy of Googlies. The latest was particularly well received as it is always a pleasure to read an article that absolutely reflects one’s own opinion, in this case the Professor’s comments regarding the quite dreadful Henry Blofeld. My own Blofeld ‘highlight’ involved listening for what seemed hours in the forlorn hope of hearing the score only for him to confuse Curtly Ambrose, nudging towards 7ft. with Gus Logie shorter than the average flat race jockey.
On retirement, instead of the proposed theatre tour, I feel that in the manner of Desert Island Discs he be dispatched to a remote and uninhabited destination. Rather than music he should be allowed, in fact compelled, to take his fellow Etonian Boris Johnson with him. Buffoon Island would seem a suitable name where they would be happy spouting rubbish to each other and the rest of us delighted to be rid of them.
Private Eye Matters
George sent me this
I thought your circulation might enjoy this, which I saw in Private Eye:
“I can see a lot of up and down movements from Kane Williamson.
I think he’s applying a new rubber”
Jonanthan Agnew, radio 4.
A couple of months ago there was one from a snooker commentator:
“That was a terrific 69 for Jenkins. He’ll be feeling a lot better after that”
Oval Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
I went to the Oval for the Championship match between Surrey and Hampshire that started on 3 July. Ex-Middlesex batsman George Bailey won the toss for the visitors and had no hesitation in batting first on a flat, grassless, sun-baked pitch. It was a slight surprise that Hants lost 2 wickets for 71, but experienced opener Jimmy Adams was still there and now he was joined by the talented (ex?) England strokemaker James Vince. Vince played a praiseworthy and extremely attractive innings of 104 off 129 balls with 19 fours and shared a splendid stand of 161 with Adams for the third wicket, but when Vince departed, another fine stand developed between Adams and Bailey which had reached 129 when Adams finally fell for an excellent 144 off 262 balls with 19 fours and 2 sixes.
Tasmanian Bailey now found another handy partner in Zimbabwean Sean Ervine and a fine partnership of 167 for the fifth wicket resulted before Ervine fell for 83 off 123 balls with 8 fours and a six. Debutant Ian Holland (a 26 year old allrounder from Melbourne) was Bailey's new partner and another 72 were added before the captain finally departed for an exceptional 161 off 294 balls with 15 fours and 2 sixes. Another ex-Middlesex man Gareth Berg gave us a splendid cameo of 35 off 16 balls with 3 sixes and Holland was on 58 not out off 76 balls when the declaration came at tea on day 2 with Hants on 648 for 7.
The Surrey reply got off to a good start with a fine opening partnership between skipper Rory Burns and Mark Stoneman, which had reached 103 when Stoneman surprisingly departed for 57 off 80 balls with 10 fours. Jason Roy helped Burns to add 56 for the fourth wicket and Dom Sibley (57 off 134 balls with 8 fours) did even better in helping his captain put on 104 for the fifth wicket. Burns continued in his unflappable fashion and Tom Curran (53 off 109 balls with 7 fours) joined him in a valuable stand of 99 for the eighth wicket before Surrey were all out for 483 narrowly failing to avoid the follow on and leaving Burns carrying his bat for a magnificent career best 219 not out off 423 balls with 27 fours and a six.
You would have thought that he might have fancied a rest, but Burns came out again (he just could not get enough of the flat track!) and he and Stoneman put on another 109 for the first wicket before Stoneman went for 47 off 95 balls with 5 fours and Burns was finally dismissed for 68 off 112 balls with 10 fours (narrowly missing being on the pitch for the complete match), giving him 287 runs in the match for once out as Surrey closed on 166-3. This was the first time that I had seen Mason Crane in action and, while I was dubious about his England selection after averaging 45.45 with the ball last season, I was quietly impressed by his control of line and length (not always a leg-spinner's strength), but I must point out that his match figures in this match were 57-9-222-1. This was quite a contrast with the new boy Holland (right arm medium fast) who took 5 for 53 in the match. Match drawn: Surrey 13 points, Hampshire 15.
King Cricket Matters
Alex Bowden explains
We’ve told you before how we once saw a story in the local paper where a woman had come second in some sort of vegetable growing competition despite being the only person to enter something in that particular category. The judges decided that her entry was only worthy of a silver medal, despite it having zero competition. So it is with Moeen Ali. Speaking before the second Test, England coach Trevor Bayliss asserted that the man we like to call Bowling Ali was the team’s second spinner.
England promptly dropped their first spinner, but who’s to say that Moeen isn’t still second in a hierarchy of one? People don’t call Moeen a part-timer quite as much they once did, but the all-rounder is still short of the respect he deserves. Perhaps it’s a matter of perception and expectation.
As we’ve been saying for three years now, Moeen Ali is not a spinner to tie up an end – nor is that something he should particularly aspire to. Maybe if people accept this and realise that defensive bowling lies down a different road to attacking bowling, England’s best player might be acknowledged as precisely that. Failing that, this hat trick should at least buy him a couple more matches.
Minor Counties Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports
I went to the lovely Berkshire ground at Finchampstead to see the Unicorns Counties Championship Western Division match against Herefordshire which started on July 16. The visitors batted first and made a modest 141 a/o (skipper Matt Pardoe 48, Euan Woods 13-3-18-4, ex-Middlesex allrounder Chris Peploe 21.3-12-24-3, Ethan Bamber 3-51) and Berks emphasised the paucity of the Herefs effort by racing to 334-8 in their allowed 90 overs (capt Jimmy Morris 79, Andy Rishton 74, Archie Carter 39, Peploe 36). The visitors did slightly better in their second innings, but still only managed 215 a/o (Benny Ellis 73, Nick Hammond 53, Tom Nugent 3-25), which left Berks needing only 23 to win and they achieved this by promoting Peploe to no 1 and he responded by scoring all the runs himself (25*) in 2 overs as the home team strolled home by 10 wickets to remain firmly on top of the table.
Ged Matters
It has to be said that, up until this day, our attempts over the years, with Lavender and Escamillo Escapillo, to watch Middlesex and Lancashire play cricket, had been soggy experiences to say the least. Indeed, previous attempts by just me and Escamillo Escapillo to watch our respective counties play each other had been thwarted for one reason or another until last season, where we managed to squeeze in a half day .
So after yesterday’s washout – delightfully filled with activities in Liverpool instead – it was a joy to see blue skies on the Sunday morning and a forecast that suggested little or no interruptions to play. We aimed to get to the ground in time for the start, but hadn’t counted on the local Sunday trading laws, so although M&S (other sources of sandwiches, crisps and water are available) opens at 10:30, it doesn’t actually open the tills until 11:00.
Shopping is not something I like to do; I like to buy things I want/need, I don’t like to shop. So 10:35 to 11:00 that morning was not the most enjoyable/memorable part of the day. I won’t be making that mistake again on a Sunday morning.
Still, we had the Escamillo-mobile on stand-by, so we were still inside the ground and wandering around by 11:20.
We took up good front row seats in our chosen position quite quickly. Soon after that, Daisy got quite shirty with me because I didn’t want to start drinking at 12:00 on a Sunday. Escamillo Escapillo was driving anyway and I knew what was coming later, so we left it to the girls to start drinking that early in the day.
There were quite a few Middlesex supporters around on the Sunday – some came and sat quite close to us. Soon after lunch was called by the umpires, Barmy Kev came and joined us for a while.
Barmy Kev didn’t take it upon himself to remind me that I owe him a drink or three and I don’t need reminding. But I didn’t want to drink that early in the day; I knew what was coming later, plus I didn’t want to reciprocate Barmy Kev’s generous hospitality at Lord’s with the less salubrious (I really mean less expensive) offerings at the Trafalgar Ground.
Meanwhile Escamillo Escapillo and Lavender were both as happy as Larry; the former because Lancashire were doing well in the match, the latter because EE was as happy as Larry and she was getting a bit merry with Daisy on the fermented grape juice.
We’d bought plenty of sandwiches for everyone, while Frank wanted us to know unequivocally that, while we were visitors on his patch, he was going to buy the drinks aplenty. Perhaps there is some sort of by-law about this for Merseyside.
Escamillo Escapillo was becoming even happier than Larry, despite sticking strictly to driver’s lemonade, as Lancashire’s position went from good to seemingly impregnable. Lavender likewise for both of the reasons expressed earlier.
As tea came round, so the young couple said their goodbyes to us, as planned; they were heading home that afternoon/evening, whereas Daisy and I were staying on the extra night.
Frank said that he too would only stick around for another hour or so after the young couple left, but that was plenty of time for us to finish catching up with some of our news, swap some old stories and discuss the current political maelstrom. Cricket, wine, water, memories, news, political maelstrom…
In addition to his generosity with the drinks, Frank seems to have decided that I should be the curator of his Keele picture memorabilia, handing me an envelope with a few photographs,
It was a really lovely day – at last Daisy and I have spent some time actually watching cricket with Lavender and Escamillo Escapillo – indeed it had been a lovely weekend with them. Daisy and I stuck around for a few more minutes until it started to get a bit chilly again. We wandered round to the hospitality tent and got a chance to say goodbye to Keith Hayhurst and one or two others who hadn’t been around when we said our goodbyes there on Friday
Strange XIs
The Great Jack Morgan inadvertently sent me a Strange XI in an email recently:
K Shine,
J Denly,
M Holden,
A Rossington,
B Godleman,
G Sandhu,
G.Bailey,
G Berg,
V Philander,
C Peploe,
C Steel
All you have to do is identify which Jazz Hat they all qualify for.
I know many readers used to enjoy Jack’s teasers. If you respond to this in numbers he might be persuaded to pick some more.
Old Danes Gathering
The next Old Danes Gathering at Shepherds Bush CC is scheduled for 2018.
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also a large number of photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
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James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
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