GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 121
January 2013
Out and About with the Professor
The Professor concludes his reports from the subcontinent
When India gained independence in 1947 it was decided that to emphasise their separation from the colonial yoke India would no longer have time zones (established by the British) but a single time for all India. One India, one time of day. In all probability when Jawaharlal Nehru and the Congress Party made this decision they were not thinking of the convenience of travelling English cricket fans. However India is a very big place and "mid-day" in the east is probably an hour or so ahead of the sun at it's zenith in the west.
The upshot is, in plain English, a bloody early start. We are in an hotel about an hour or so out of town (more when it's rush-hour...and when isn't it?) so it is up at six (not a time your correspondent sees too often these days) to get to the ground for 8.30. Lunch is at 11 and tea at a time when most people are thinking about lunch. The early start is not because it gets dark early, it's because the bloody clocks are wrong.
As for Eden Gardens, I think it would be charitable to call it a misnomer. The stadium is on a piece of litter-strewn waste land between the new fort and the old colonial centre where the Post Office building now stands on the site of the infamous "Black Hole" (I have eschewed laboured analogies to Parcel Force). The ground has been redeveloped from the ramshackle 100,000 seater but it still a big stadium and was never full although on Saturday the cheap seats were packed out.
After the Third Day Graham Gooch came to address our group. His view was that they: " 'oped to bat to lunch" (think Essex accent) and then "reassess the situation wiv a view to possible options."
They certainly did reassess at lunch since England were all out before most normal people had finished their breakfast and Sehwag and Gambir had belted the ball to all parts. There was a widespread view amongst the spectators that some counterfeit team had taken the field and that the real England squad were putting their collective feet up waiting for their elevenses lunch. True or not a different side emerged after lunch and all but bowled out the Indians by the close. How can you explain this? How can a side in total command of the game lose the initiative so comprehensively, regain it after an interval, lose it again before the close and then win the following day after having been a little matter of 8-3? The answer: "Well it is England", somehow just doesn't seem satisfying when you have travelled half way round the world to watch them.
When Pietersen was out on this last morning the woman next to me said: "We can't lose this, can we?" "41 to win and 8-3, we can't lose this can we?" While it may appear ungallant, I have to report that your correspondent was unable to offer her reassurance until Bell hit a full toss through mid-off and thereby notched up 10% of the required runs.
Why can't we win easy?
So, two tests and two wins. Doubtless the pundits will be saying that this is a poor India side, poorly led (how else could England have beaten them?) but a few players have played really well out here and Cook and Pietersen have been truly outstanding. Panesar has bowled well after the first session in Mumbai and Finn has given a cutting edge that was lacking before. The fielding has, in general, improved - Bell's run out was stunning - and all-in-all it looks a reasonable side. Although some must be sweating on selection, most of all perhaps Patel, especially if two specialist spinners are selected...and how can they not be?
England in the field in Calcutta and Tendulkar leaving the ground there for (presumably) the last time.
So on to Nagpur. By the time December Googlies is out we will know if England have beaten India in their back yard. Let's hope so.
He followed up:
So 2-1 then, and up there with the Ashes win in Oz.Before the Jeremiahs step in and tell us that this is an Indian team "in transition" (and England's isn't?) or lacking in focus (whatever that is) two things are worth recalling:
1. When we went to India, England "couldn't play spin". And we couldn't. I was in Abu Dhabi and they didn't have a clue of how to play Ajmal, nor even Rehman.
2. England were thrashed in the first Test following on and bowled out twice by a left arm spinner.
Why did we win? My two cents are: Ashwin is no Ajmal and in particular his carrom ball is nothing like Ajmal's doosra. Panesa, after the first morning, bowled well throughout as, of course, did Swann and Anderson.
Cook has turned into the ideal test match batsman. Pietersen played one of the great Test innings in Mumbai - had he gone early we could easily have lost that match...and thus the series. Prior is crucial in both his roles and England's fielding was generally miles better and this must be the fittest side ever to represent England (at least when Patel was dropped) and fitness, I'm sure, played a major part in the Mumbai win. But...is Compton right at No.2? Root at 6? Is Bresnan worth his place in the side? and so on and on. But England won because they were a better side than India in India...not too many times anyone could have written that...and sad that so few people could see it or even know about it.
Rubbing Shoulders Matters
John Charman sent me this
Late afternoon on the day we won the Mumbai test Philip Spray and I decided, very much at the last minute, to take a stroll through downtown Mumbai towards the Taj Hotel by the Gateway to India, where the England team were staying. We had been warned by the Professor at a lunchtime drink in Geoffrey's Bar that it would be teeming with high security. We thought so too, particularly as it was the 4th anniversary to the day of the terrorist incident and the lone surviving terrorist had just been hanged.
We walked into the Taj off the street in our shorts and just had a cursory check at the door. Within a few steps we were at the poolside cafe and the full England entourage with wives and girlfriends were having a relaxed afternoon drink. We found seats within spitting distance and ordered ourselves a congratulatory Tanqueray and Tonic. The waiter brought doubles (by mistake? - I doubt it!) which we were happy to accept, being in buoyant mood. However, towards the end of a very pleasant drink we remembered that we had come out very much on the spur of the moment and hadn't really thought to check our ready cash situation. The bill was 2600 rupees (approx GBP 32.00). We piled up the loose cash and had 50 rupees left between us, not quite enough for a taxi back to the Intercontinental. Philip again had words with Nick Compton (who we had talked to in Ahmedabad) whose Dad had not managed to make it to Mumbai but was obviously very pleased with his quick and confident 30 not out to win the match. I had a quick word with Prior and Panesar offering congratulations and hopes that they will return with a series win.
Sofa Cricket
Australia v South Africa at Perth
When South Africa were rolled over for 225 Australia seemed to have the upper hand but they managed only 163 in reply with Warner the top scorer in the first seven with 13. South Africa then filled their boots with Amla and de Villiers both making big centuries. Australia were left an improbable 632 to win. In the event Starc top scored with 68 to add to his unlikely figures of 6 for 154 in the South African second innings. South Africa won by 309.
Bangladesh v West Indies 5 one day internationals
This was an extremely unlikely series with Bangladesh winning the first two matches and then the West Indies winning the next two. In the fifth match Gayle was dismissed for the fifth time for under 35 and the West Indies only managed 217 on the back of Pollards 85 which included eight sixes. Bangladesh got home with two wickets and six overs to spare to take the series.
Bangladeshv West Indies T20
The West Indies made 197 including 84 from sixes of which nine were scored by Samuels who made 85 not out. Bangladesh only lost one wicket in reply but lost by 18. Shades of Gavaskar at Lord’s.
India v England at Nagpur
It’s a good job that it was England who were 2-1 up and not the other way round. Otherwise there would have been much flack flying around about the way the match was played. Is it Ok to play a match as part of a series and not try to win? What about the spectators? Are they supposed to understand all this? International badminton players got banned for life for playing like this.
Big Bash all matches
It’s my own fault for channel hopping during the adverts. Sky are showing these matches in the half hour highlights format. In most matches both sides score about 150. Therefore 300 runs get condensed into thirty minutes less adverts time, which means about fifteen runs per minute. The games consequently all look the same and you never have any idea who is playing for who. The commentators are wildly excited about completely pointless antics. Sadly one day all cricket will be like this.
Australia v Sri Lanka at Hobart
Phil Hughes is back in the Australian side and his 86 contributed to Australia’s first innings total of 450. Despite Dilshan’s 147 Australia had a first innings lead of 114 and they then set Sri Lanka 393 to win. None of the big guns got enough for Sri Lanka and Australia won by 137 with Starc and Siddle taking the wickets. The big question is who will be bowling for Australia in the two Ashes series in 2013? There are rows of candidates but they get injured more regularly than England’s quicks.
India v England T20 at Pune
This is King Cricket’s take:
“England hit the new ball well and Jos Buttler played the final over brilliantly, but in between it was like they were running through pudding – plenty of effort, but nothing but the slowest, steadiest progress. With the ball, they mostly bowled wides and then occasionally rattled a batsman. In the field, they dropped and took catches and missed and executed run-outs. In short, everything was either ace or crap. India were similar. They hit whopping sixes and then repeatedly tried to run themselves out. Both sides could improve greatly were they to elevate the worst bits of their game to a level of underwhelming competence. We demand better cricket. We demand more mediocrity.”
India v England T20 at Mumbai
This seemed a pretty good win but was heavily dependent on Morgan and Buttler who scored 64 from 33 balls between them. It was good to see them sticking with Lumb who continues to do better overseas for his various paymasters than he does in England.
South Africa v New Zealand T20 at East London
This match was a triumph for Martin Guptill who won match off the last ball to get his side home and complete a century. It went largely unnoticed because of Morgan’s finishing the previous day.
Match Reports
The Great Jack Morgan provides three reports from the Uxbridge Festival of 1990
Middlesex enjoyed a wonderful fortnight at Uxbridge Cricket Club in July 1990 and it started off with a Second Round Nat West Bank Trophy second round match against Surrey on Wednesday July 11th. Middlesex won the toss and asked Surrey to bat first in beautiful hot weather. A stand of 95 for the second wicket between Grahame Clinton (33) and keeper Alec Stewart (48) put Surrey in a strong position and Monte Lynch soon improved on this with an impressive 59 from 74 balls before being run out. Keith Medlycott made 38, but Surrey lost wickets at regular intervals and might have been slightly disappointed to finish on 288 for 8 in their 60 overs. Nevertheless, this was a higher total than Middlesex had ever made in a 60 overs match. Third change bowler Angus Fraser was the best of the home bowlers with 4 for 44 in his 12 overs, while Paul Farbrace took three catches behind the stumps. It was interesting that Desmond Haynes came on as first change for Middlesex and did not do badly with 1 for 41 off 12 overs. However, Desmond fell for nought to Waqar Younis in the first over of the Middlesex innings (stick to the bowling Dessie) and with skipper Mike Gatting injured in the field, Mike Roseberry and Mark Ramprakash had to repair the damage. They achieved this successfully with a stand of 94 before Roseberry fell for 48, but then an even better stand between Ramps and Keith Brown added 126 in 26 overs to put Middlesex ahead of the required rate. Ramps finally fell for 104 off 142 balls and two more wickets fell quickly as Middlesex wobbled on 241 for 5. However, Brown was still there and, finding a sound partner in John Emburey, he took the lads to victory by five wickets, his winning hit took his score to 103* off 113 balls with two balls to spare and justly earned him the man of the match award. Middlesex went on to thump Glamorgan at Lord's by nine wickets, but unfortunately lost the semi-final to Lancashire at Old Trafford despite 149* from Haynes.
Yorkshire won the toss and decided to bat in the three day Championship match starting on July 18th. Skipper David Byas made an excellent 83 with ten fours and a six and Phil Carrick (52) gave him good support in a sixth wicket stand of 89, but no other batsman made more than 20 and the visitors finished on a below par 243 all out. John Emburey was the pick of the bowlers with 4 for 51 and Neil Williams chipped in with 3 for 55. Keeper Paul Farbrace picked up three catches. When Middlesex batted, Mike Roseberry (36) and captain Mike Gatting put on 74 for the second wicket and Gatting and Keith Brown added another 55 for the fourth wicket before Gatt fell for 86 with 15 fours. Brown found a useful partner in Emburey and another 86 were added for the fifth wicket, but the tail subsided rather disappointingly and Middlesex closed on 340 leaving Brown undefeated on 109 from 175 balls with 14 fours. Carrick had easily the best figures of the Yorkshire bowlers (5 for 99), though it should be noted that none of his victims was a top five batsman. Dick Blakey claimed three victims behind the stumps. Nevertheless, Middlesex led by 97 and Yorkshire struggled again in their second innings. Phil Robinson (40) and Blakey (42) tried hard for the visitors, but it was another fairly pathetic effort overall and the total of 192 left Middlesex needing only 96 to win. Williams (4 for 43) and Emburey (3 for 62) again did well with the ball, Phil Tufnell helped out with 3 for 49 and Brown took four catches at short leg off the spin bowlers. Middlesex lost three wickets in reaching their target, but at no stage was the result in doubt. Middlesex 24 points, Yorkshire 5.
Somerset won the toss and chose to bat first on an exceptionally good batting track in the Championship match starting on July 21st. South African star batsman Jimmy Cook (152) and his opening partner Peter Roebuck (70) occupied the crease for the first half of the day as they put on 190 for the first wicket before Roebuck fell to Phil Tufnell, one of three spinners in the Middlesex team, which included debutant Paul Weekes and only two seamers. Cook eventually departed for 152 off 305 balls with 21 fours and although 340 runs were scored on day 1, it had taken up 129 overs. Skipper Chris Tavare contributed 57, but it was ex-Middlesex allrounder Graham Rose's 57 off 38 balls with four fours and four sixes that livened up the proceedings and, along with keeper Neil Burns's 37*, enabled Somerset to declare at 445 for 6 off 147 overs, with Tufnell the pick of the bowlers with 3 for 140 from 51 overs. Desmond Haynes (41) and Mike Roseberry (25) put on 67 for the first Middlesex wicket, but it was captain Mike Gatting who dominated the innings with a superb display. Keith Brown (46) kept Gatt company in a stand of 154 for the fourth wicket, but Mike's innings of 170* came off only 188 balls and included four sixes and 25 fours and was one of the best innings of the whole season. Gatt declared at 305 for 4 immediately after the fourth batting point had been gained off 67.4 overs in an attempt to set up an interesting conclusion to the match. Somerset batted more enterprisingly in their second innings and more runs from Cook (85), Tavare (61) and Richard Harden (38) allowed the visitors to declare on 228 for 4 and set Middlesex a trifling 369 to win in 69 overs. Gatt made only 36 second time around, but Haynes played beautifully for a very important 108, however 149 were still needed off the last 20 overs. Fortunately, Mark Ramprakash was in superlative form and, taking twenty off the solitary over that Tavare gave himself, Ramps (with a little assistance from Neil Williams, who helped to add 93 for the sixth wicket) brought Middlesex to the last over with 12 required off Neil Mallender's over. Mallender had the excellent figures of 4 for 46 at this juncture, but Ramps hit him for 14 off five balls (2,2,2,4,4) to win the match by four wickets with one ball to spare. Mark finished on 146* off 133 balls with five sixes and 12 fours and this was another of the very best innings of the whole season. Middlesex 20 points, Somerset 4. Although Middlesex suffered a dodgy spell after this match, they still won the title by the comfortable margin of 31 points.
Helmet Matters
I referred to the Bairstow dismissal in the last edition. I heard first from the Great Jack Morgan:
Balls hitting fielders' helmets: I think calling dead ball is common, but I have only ever seen the five runs awarded for balls hitting the unused helmets stowed away behind the keeper. Presumably they take the view that nobody chooses to take the ball in the helmet, so punishment would be adding insult to injury.
And then at greater length from Douglas Miller
The business of Bairstow’s dismissal was interesting. As I heard it, surely no-one mentioned five penalty runs, the helmet not being on the ground. The pity was that Bairstow seemed not to know the Laws well enough to stand his ground as it will not have been an easy thing for the umpires to have spotted.
I always e-mail Sky Sports when I notice comments that reveal a less than perfect knowledge of the Laws or Regulations. I did so on this occasion because I thought there should have been no question of the ball being dead – this is a common canard. What is the case is that having hit a fielder’s helmet, a catch cannot be made by the fielder in the helmet or anyone else. Nor can a run out or stumping occur DIRECTLY off the helmet, but a run out can be made after separate subsequent contact with the ball because the ball is emphatically not dead.
However, there is a twist to all this in that if the ball LODGES in a fielder’s helmet it becomes dead – it is not a matter of the umpire calling it dead, though he may be advised to do so. Now it appears that this may have happened in the Bairstow case – an umpiring guru of mega importance stated that the ball had lodged for a very short while before coming out. I don’t personally like this interpretation because Tom Smith, now approved by MCC, states that ‘lodging’ means that it will take positive action to free it. In this instance I think it fell out. The two things that are clear are that Bairstow was not out (he wasn’t even given out, he just walked off) and that he paid for his ignorance of the Law.
Finally the name of Alan Coxon rings bells for me. I played against him a time or two when he lived in Bucks, and I also played him at squash in a match of which all I can recall is that the score was 10-9 in the fifth, but I cannot remember which of us won. He played on one occasion for Bucks, at the age of 48.
Pilling Matters
Barry Rickson sent me this
I have many fond memories of Harry Pilling, a truly Lancastrian stalwart, who played such a central part in that early 70s period of the county's ascendancy in the Lord's finals.The first recorded photo I remember of him was as a 16 year-old he was standing under the pavilion bell at Old Trafford with coach Stanley Worthington when he was allowed to ring the bell to start the day's play in the England v South Africa Test of 1960. He was apparently a promising off-spinner, but looked as though he had barely left junior school.
When he came into the Lancashire side as a batsman in the early 60s,it was a difficult time as ,torn by inter-necine warfare,(nothing new there!), it was possibly the poorest team in the club's history; Geoff. Pullar and David Green, the only reliable batsmen, but at least a great pair of opening bowlers in Brian Statham and Ken Higgs. Who can forget the Gillette disaster at Worcester in 1963 when they were 59 all-out, the match barely lasting till after lunch? In spite of all this Harry showed tremendous grit and determination and went on to prove himself a high-class professional batsman. Although there many great batsmen in the game at that period, Harry was the first to reach 1,000 runs in 40 over cricket and took part in many crucial stands with one of these greats, Clive Lloyd. One of the memories of that period was as the diminutive straight-backed Englishman was going out to bat with the the huge, loping West
Indian, the announcer, possibly with tongue in cheek, informed us the Clive was the one on the right.
Harry was a very correct batsman with a speciality of square-cutting, placing past mid-on or running the ball down to third man. He had unbounded courage and stood up fearlessly to all the fast bowlers of his day, no helmets, but always wearing with great pride the Lancashire red rose cap. He also excelled in the field, usually on the boundary. I picture him so clearly even now standing on the boundary at third man at the Stretford End throwing in with amazing strength and accuracy right over the top of the stumps with Farokh Engineer not having to move. I once asked Jack Bond, his captain in his prime years, how it was that such a small man, only 5' 3'', could throw so powerfully and accurately, and this he attributed to a very strong upper body.
I once had the pleasure of playing against him in a benefit game for Jack Bond when he scored a century in even time with hardly a boundary. I bowled at him quite a bit and what struck me was how he could score so readily with skilful placement, particularly past mid-on off what one thought.were reasonable balls. As you would expect, he was like a greyhound between the wickets, turning ones into twos etc. He was also a friendly opponent and did not look down upon we club cricketers and always had a ready quip delivered in that rich Lancashire accent.
He was a great favourite with the lady followers, and I have heard those with maternal instincts wanting to cuddle him as though he were their little son. However, not only the ladies had this affection for him and I would safely guarantee if you asked those county supporters who saw him play that in spite of all the great players who have played for the club, Harry would be right there amongst the leaders. Small in stature, but great in the county's history.
Morgan Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports on his recent hip surgery
I went under the knife at Epsom Orthopaedic Centre on Friday (14/12. The op was deemed a success and I was soon discarding my zimmer frame and marching upstairs using only a stick and a handrail and this brilliant display led to my swift dismissal on Monday (17/12). This was into the fourth day, of course, but they have a funny way of measuring time down there in Epsom and I know that they will count this as a case that was dealt with exceptionally well and closed within three days, a fine performance. I am back home now and am accompanied by enough drugs to keep Keith Richards happy for at least a year.
Jeff Coleman responded
Huge congratulations in getting in and out of hospital without contracting C Diff, MRSA and the winter vomiting bug. You are an example to us all.
Thanks for the update. It is a continuing annoyance to me that all the advice we had in our younger days was that participating in sport was good for you. How is it that all us 'sporty types' now have either knee or hip surgery to see us into our dotage? Whilst the few friends of mine who missed the joy of chasing balls around fields, courts and sports halls have come out unscathed.
On the Middlesex front, it is disappointing that Uxbridge drops from 11 to only 6 days cricket next year with 2 of them being a 40 over and a devil's game. Also surprising that Radlett is hosting a 40 over game before they have properly sorted the access out. Still, I guess, that wont bother either of us. The plan as I understand it is to provide parking in the field behind the back-field with access via a farm track. Here's hoping for a drier May than 2012. I seem to be of a limited number who has no problem with Ramps returning as batting coach to replace Mark O'Neill. I bore no grudge when he left to play first division cricket for more money at a club which was, then, better run.
On the MCCC playing front I was surprised that Josh Davey was given another year as I am not sure he has come on much. But he will not be spending so much time on Scotland duty so maybe he can give it a real go. Thought London might get offers from other counties but having accepted a one year extension he really must get a load of runs in 2013 and more importantly stay fit. I don't think that covering Rosso and Simmo as third keeper did him a lot of favours. Upset that we let Crook go to Northants although I can certainly understand his wanting to play more matches. I think he was very underused, particularly when we played Rayner in front of him as a number 8 bat who took very few wickets on the unresponsive wickets early season. I could favour a little wager that Crook will have a better all round season next year than Berg. He was looking very good and sharp when he got a little run at the end of the season.
Jack responded
I was not happy with Ramps when he left: I felt it was purely a selfish move and if you want to make that sort of move, you have to wait until the end of your contract, which he did not. As a result, he was in bad odour with me for quite a while, but one cannot hold those sort of grudges for ever and I agree that he should be welcomed back. I think he might make a very good batting coach.
Yes, they are persevering with Josh longer than others might have done. I do not think he will make a front line bowler, but he always looks as if he can bat to me... he now needs a few big scores to prove this is correct. I agree about Adam: he can certainly bat and if his offspin had been used a bit more (instead of deputising behind the stumps) he would have got that first team opportunity that was mistakenly (or prematurely) handed to Balbirnie.
I was also a bit disappointed about Crooky: he is no youngster, but still has some unrealised potential. Despite the signing of Harris, I think the pace bowling is starting to look a little thin again. We have debated Ollie before without reaching agreement! My view is that his batting and fielding are very good (considering his place in the batting order) and while his bowling often looks ordinary, this is at least partly due to the green tracks that we always prepare at home and might look a lot better if he ever got to bowl on a turner. I do not think you should under-rate Bergy: he is a good allround cricketer, who often looks as if he is not quite fit. He might not be Mr Consistency, but Crooky can be downright erratic at times.
Shearwood Matters
Don Shearwood sent me this
I was treated to corporate hospitality at a football match for the first time in my life today. The owner of two corporate tickets went on holiday to Florida, and he gave them to my friend, Harry, a West Ham supporter. When Harry's son and daughter were unable to go, for various reasons, Harry asked me to accompany him and I gladly accepted. If you have enjoyed corporate hospitality yourself, the following may be boring, but for me it was a first-time experience.
Arriving at the Boleyn ground at 1.15, we proceeded to Club 66, a fine restaurant with a friendly atmosphere where we had our own table for two, and a delightful waitress who catered to our every (food and drink) need, beginning with a glass of champagne, which I've never particularly rated. After that it was a bottle of Sauvignon Merlot, a nice starter (Cajun salmon) followed by the main course.
While we were enjoying our main course, the club host, one George Cohen, graced us with his company. Harry, who has enjoyed this before, had told me that Martin Peters was usually the host, but his first allegiance was to Spurs, and as Spurs were at home at the same time George stepped in. (Harry told me Peters does not really have the personality for this) George stopped at many tables, engaged in banter or conversation with the diners, and eventually came to ours. Harry happily and comfortably engaged him in conversation while I pondered what to say to him,wanting to eschew the hackneyed references to 1966 and all that. When George did look at me I held out my hand, and said "Hello George, I'm Bedford Jezzard". I was rewarded with a beaming little smile as he said: " A good player and a fine manager". Harry then said "George, I'd like you to meet the Ilford & Distric League Linesman of the Year", then, in an aside to me, said "He'll probably ask you for your autograph, it's the highlight of his day"
Growing up in west London I was quite familiar with many Fulham players of those days, as I think you were too, we had quite a lengthy conversation, then he moved on to the next table. We shortly made our way to our seats, not far from the Everton Chairman, Bill Kenright, and his lovely wife; at half-time, our desserts were waiting for us, and the waitress serving coffee, and the remains of our wine was consumed before we asked for another bottle. Then back to the game, which had been good in the first half, but was pretty well ruined when the ref sent off Carlton Cole, rather harshly, with about half an hour to go. Everton then assumed the upper hand, and ran out 2-1 winners, but not before an Everton player, Gibson, was sent off, similarly harshly, which prompted the West Ham fans to again accuse the referee of onanism, remarkable for a home crowd when a visiting player is sent off.
Back then to Club 66, to finish off our wine, have more coffee, cheese and biscuits, enjoy the frequent smiles of the waitress, and then George Cohen stopped by again, for another chat in which I prompted his memory of the largely unsung and unremembered Robin Lawler (he of the earliest long throw I recall who turned out to be a good friend of George's), Tosh Chamberlain, and, of course, Johnny Haynes. A fascinating ten minutes or so followed, before George again moved on. I left West Ham feeling a bit like a pickpocket; I had enjoyed the club's hospitality, free programme, pre-match team sheet (half an hour before kick-off), all it cost me was a fiver for some raffle tickets, but we rather nicked the points off them. If you saw MoTD, you may understand how I feel.
From the Netherland of Cricket
The Professor sent me this during some of his downtime in India
One member of our group in Calcutta is a charming man by the name of Simon Sweetman. Simon is the editor of "The Cricket Statistician" which is "the Journal of the Association of Cricket Statisticians and Historians".
We have referred to the "ASC" in previous Googlies but this is my first meeting with the Editor and he showed me a copy of the Autumn edition. And a strange thing it is too. Anyone who thinks that the content of Googlies is a touch eccentric should try "The Cricket Statistician". It is a couple of standard deviations (at least) along the cricket nerdom scale.
Googlies readers Douglas Miller and Keith Walmsley have contributions to the Autumn edition and both are well-known to Simon. Keith's article spends the best part of four pages on the debate (debate?) as to whether or not Peter May's name should be hyphenated: Peter Barker Howard-May or just plain old simple Peter Barker Howard May. Keith has contacted the Central Register Office but they, sadly, were "unable to help". Douglas's letter corrects one of his previous mistakes (again) about a percentage point (or something) in something or other.
But my eye was caught (apart from a confessional piece by a member of the Committee that he had given up buying Wisden and that "as time went on, I realised I didn't miss it, and...I still don't!) by a letter to the Editor which I reproduce (almost) in it's entirety:
Sir, Two errors have crept into this book* In 1861 Willsher bowled 861.1 overs not 861.2. This makes the total add up correctly which it does not in the book.
In the list of first-class fifties, his 59* was scored against Sussex not Surrey.
Yours, etc...
(*a book about "Edgar Willsher". Who?...quite.)
This is a strange netherworld of cricket inhabited by charming and very slightly mad people. We must never, never let Googlies fall into the hands of cricketing pedants because...there is no escape.
Lord Ray Matters
Steve Caley also remembers the Shepherds Bush speech
I recall it as being the original reference to the deux merdes as I think the speaker mentioned that “unless anyone of those in attendance had been born in the last few minutes, we were all, indeed, between deux merdes, the one we had just had and the one that would no doubt follow the dinner due to a surfeit of ale”.
Don Wallis
Don Wallis, the President of South Hampstead CC, died in December. I will publish tributes and memories in the next edition.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: [email protected]
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 121
January 2013
Out and About with the Professor
The Professor concludes his reports from the subcontinent
When India gained independence in 1947 it was decided that to emphasise their separation from the colonial yoke India would no longer have time zones (established by the British) but a single time for all India. One India, one time of day. In all probability when Jawaharlal Nehru and the Congress Party made this decision they were not thinking of the convenience of travelling English cricket fans. However India is a very big place and "mid-day" in the east is probably an hour or so ahead of the sun at it's zenith in the west.
The upshot is, in plain English, a bloody early start. We are in an hotel about an hour or so out of town (more when it's rush-hour...and when isn't it?) so it is up at six (not a time your correspondent sees too often these days) to get to the ground for 8.30. Lunch is at 11 and tea at a time when most people are thinking about lunch. The early start is not because it gets dark early, it's because the bloody clocks are wrong.
As for Eden Gardens, I think it would be charitable to call it a misnomer. The stadium is on a piece of litter-strewn waste land between the new fort and the old colonial centre where the Post Office building now stands on the site of the infamous "Black Hole" (I have eschewed laboured analogies to Parcel Force). The ground has been redeveloped from the ramshackle 100,000 seater but it still a big stadium and was never full although on Saturday the cheap seats were packed out.
After the Third Day Graham Gooch came to address our group. His view was that they: " 'oped to bat to lunch" (think Essex accent) and then "reassess the situation wiv a view to possible options."
They certainly did reassess at lunch since England were all out before most normal people had finished their breakfast and Sehwag and Gambir had belted the ball to all parts. There was a widespread view amongst the spectators that some counterfeit team had taken the field and that the real England squad were putting their collective feet up waiting for their elevenses lunch. True or not a different side emerged after lunch and all but bowled out the Indians by the close. How can you explain this? How can a side in total command of the game lose the initiative so comprehensively, regain it after an interval, lose it again before the close and then win the following day after having been a little matter of 8-3? The answer: "Well it is England", somehow just doesn't seem satisfying when you have travelled half way round the world to watch them.
When Pietersen was out on this last morning the woman next to me said: "We can't lose this, can we?" "41 to win and 8-3, we can't lose this can we?" While it may appear ungallant, I have to report that your correspondent was unable to offer her reassurance until Bell hit a full toss through mid-off and thereby notched up 10% of the required runs.
Why can't we win easy?
So, two tests and two wins. Doubtless the pundits will be saying that this is a poor India side, poorly led (how else could England have beaten them?) but a few players have played really well out here and Cook and Pietersen have been truly outstanding. Panesar has bowled well after the first session in Mumbai and Finn has given a cutting edge that was lacking before. The fielding has, in general, improved - Bell's run out was stunning - and all-in-all it looks a reasonable side. Although some must be sweating on selection, most of all perhaps Patel, especially if two specialist spinners are selected...and how can they not be?
England in the field in Calcutta and Tendulkar leaving the ground there for (presumably) the last time.
So on to Nagpur. By the time December Googlies is out we will know if England have beaten India in their back yard. Let's hope so.
He followed up:
So 2-1 then, and up there with the Ashes win in Oz.Before the Jeremiahs step in and tell us that this is an Indian team "in transition" (and England's isn't?) or lacking in focus (whatever that is) two things are worth recalling:
1. When we went to India, England "couldn't play spin". And we couldn't. I was in Abu Dhabi and they didn't have a clue of how to play Ajmal, nor even Rehman.
2. England were thrashed in the first Test following on and bowled out twice by a left arm spinner.
Why did we win? My two cents are: Ashwin is no Ajmal and in particular his carrom ball is nothing like Ajmal's doosra. Panesa, after the first morning, bowled well throughout as, of course, did Swann and Anderson.
Cook has turned into the ideal test match batsman. Pietersen played one of the great Test innings in Mumbai - had he gone early we could easily have lost that match...and thus the series. Prior is crucial in both his roles and England's fielding was generally miles better and this must be the fittest side ever to represent England (at least when Patel was dropped) and fitness, I'm sure, played a major part in the Mumbai win. But...is Compton right at No.2? Root at 6? Is Bresnan worth his place in the side? and so on and on. But England won because they were a better side than India in India...not too many times anyone could have written that...and sad that so few people could see it or even know about it.
Rubbing Shoulders Matters
John Charman sent me this
Late afternoon on the day we won the Mumbai test Philip Spray and I decided, very much at the last minute, to take a stroll through downtown Mumbai towards the Taj Hotel by the Gateway to India, where the England team were staying. We had been warned by the Professor at a lunchtime drink in Geoffrey's Bar that it would be teeming with high security. We thought so too, particularly as it was the 4th anniversary to the day of the terrorist incident and the lone surviving terrorist had just been hanged.
We walked into the Taj off the street in our shorts and just had a cursory check at the door. Within a few steps we were at the poolside cafe and the full England entourage with wives and girlfriends were having a relaxed afternoon drink. We found seats within spitting distance and ordered ourselves a congratulatory Tanqueray and Tonic. The waiter brought doubles (by mistake? - I doubt it!) which we were happy to accept, being in buoyant mood. However, towards the end of a very pleasant drink we remembered that we had come out very much on the spur of the moment and hadn't really thought to check our ready cash situation. The bill was 2600 rupees (approx GBP 32.00). We piled up the loose cash and had 50 rupees left between us, not quite enough for a taxi back to the Intercontinental. Philip again had words with Nick Compton (who we had talked to in Ahmedabad) whose Dad had not managed to make it to Mumbai but was obviously very pleased with his quick and confident 30 not out to win the match. I had a quick word with Prior and Panesar offering congratulations and hopes that they will return with a series win.
Sofa Cricket
Australia v South Africa at Perth
When South Africa were rolled over for 225 Australia seemed to have the upper hand but they managed only 163 in reply with Warner the top scorer in the first seven with 13. South Africa then filled their boots with Amla and de Villiers both making big centuries. Australia were left an improbable 632 to win. In the event Starc top scored with 68 to add to his unlikely figures of 6 for 154 in the South African second innings. South Africa won by 309.
Bangladesh v West Indies 5 one day internationals
This was an extremely unlikely series with Bangladesh winning the first two matches and then the West Indies winning the next two. In the fifth match Gayle was dismissed for the fifth time for under 35 and the West Indies only managed 217 on the back of Pollards 85 which included eight sixes. Bangladesh got home with two wickets and six overs to spare to take the series.
Bangladeshv West Indies T20
The West Indies made 197 including 84 from sixes of which nine were scored by Samuels who made 85 not out. Bangladesh only lost one wicket in reply but lost by 18. Shades of Gavaskar at Lord’s.
India v England at Nagpur
It’s a good job that it was England who were 2-1 up and not the other way round. Otherwise there would have been much flack flying around about the way the match was played. Is it Ok to play a match as part of a series and not try to win? What about the spectators? Are they supposed to understand all this? International badminton players got banned for life for playing like this.
Big Bash all matches
It’s my own fault for channel hopping during the adverts. Sky are showing these matches in the half hour highlights format. In most matches both sides score about 150. Therefore 300 runs get condensed into thirty minutes less adverts time, which means about fifteen runs per minute. The games consequently all look the same and you never have any idea who is playing for who. The commentators are wildly excited about completely pointless antics. Sadly one day all cricket will be like this.
Australia v Sri Lanka at Hobart
Phil Hughes is back in the Australian side and his 86 contributed to Australia’s first innings total of 450. Despite Dilshan’s 147 Australia had a first innings lead of 114 and they then set Sri Lanka 393 to win. None of the big guns got enough for Sri Lanka and Australia won by 137 with Starc and Siddle taking the wickets. The big question is who will be bowling for Australia in the two Ashes series in 2013? There are rows of candidates but they get injured more regularly than England’s quicks.
India v England T20 at Pune
This is King Cricket’s take:
“England hit the new ball well and Jos Buttler played the final over brilliantly, but in between it was like they were running through pudding – plenty of effort, but nothing but the slowest, steadiest progress. With the ball, they mostly bowled wides and then occasionally rattled a batsman. In the field, they dropped and took catches and missed and executed run-outs. In short, everything was either ace or crap. India were similar. They hit whopping sixes and then repeatedly tried to run themselves out. Both sides could improve greatly were they to elevate the worst bits of their game to a level of underwhelming competence. We demand better cricket. We demand more mediocrity.”
India v England T20 at Mumbai
This seemed a pretty good win but was heavily dependent on Morgan and Buttler who scored 64 from 33 balls between them. It was good to see them sticking with Lumb who continues to do better overseas for his various paymasters than he does in England.
South Africa v New Zealand T20 at East London
This match was a triumph for Martin Guptill who won match off the last ball to get his side home and complete a century. It went largely unnoticed because of Morgan’s finishing the previous day.
Match Reports
The Great Jack Morgan provides three reports from the Uxbridge Festival of 1990
Middlesex enjoyed a wonderful fortnight at Uxbridge Cricket Club in July 1990 and it started off with a Second Round Nat West Bank Trophy second round match against Surrey on Wednesday July 11th. Middlesex won the toss and asked Surrey to bat first in beautiful hot weather. A stand of 95 for the second wicket between Grahame Clinton (33) and keeper Alec Stewart (48) put Surrey in a strong position and Monte Lynch soon improved on this with an impressive 59 from 74 balls before being run out. Keith Medlycott made 38, but Surrey lost wickets at regular intervals and might have been slightly disappointed to finish on 288 for 8 in their 60 overs. Nevertheless, this was a higher total than Middlesex had ever made in a 60 overs match. Third change bowler Angus Fraser was the best of the home bowlers with 4 for 44 in his 12 overs, while Paul Farbrace took three catches behind the stumps. It was interesting that Desmond Haynes came on as first change for Middlesex and did not do badly with 1 for 41 off 12 overs. However, Desmond fell for nought to Waqar Younis in the first over of the Middlesex innings (stick to the bowling Dessie) and with skipper Mike Gatting injured in the field, Mike Roseberry and Mark Ramprakash had to repair the damage. They achieved this successfully with a stand of 94 before Roseberry fell for 48, but then an even better stand between Ramps and Keith Brown added 126 in 26 overs to put Middlesex ahead of the required rate. Ramps finally fell for 104 off 142 balls and two more wickets fell quickly as Middlesex wobbled on 241 for 5. However, Brown was still there and, finding a sound partner in John Emburey, he took the lads to victory by five wickets, his winning hit took his score to 103* off 113 balls with two balls to spare and justly earned him the man of the match award. Middlesex went on to thump Glamorgan at Lord's by nine wickets, but unfortunately lost the semi-final to Lancashire at Old Trafford despite 149* from Haynes.
Yorkshire won the toss and decided to bat in the three day Championship match starting on July 18th. Skipper David Byas made an excellent 83 with ten fours and a six and Phil Carrick (52) gave him good support in a sixth wicket stand of 89, but no other batsman made more than 20 and the visitors finished on a below par 243 all out. John Emburey was the pick of the bowlers with 4 for 51 and Neil Williams chipped in with 3 for 55. Keeper Paul Farbrace picked up three catches. When Middlesex batted, Mike Roseberry (36) and captain Mike Gatting put on 74 for the second wicket and Gatting and Keith Brown added another 55 for the fourth wicket before Gatt fell for 86 with 15 fours. Brown found a useful partner in Emburey and another 86 were added for the fifth wicket, but the tail subsided rather disappointingly and Middlesex closed on 340 leaving Brown undefeated on 109 from 175 balls with 14 fours. Carrick had easily the best figures of the Yorkshire bowlers (5 for 99), though it should be noted that none of his victims was a top five batsman. Dick Blakey claimed three victims behind the stumps. Nevertheless, Middlesex led by 97 and Yorkshire struggled again in their second innings. Phil Robinson (40) and Blakey (42) tried hard for the visitors, but it was another fairly pathetic effort overall and the total of 192 left Middlesex needing only 96 to win. Williams (4 for 43) and Emburey (3 for 62) again did well with the ball, Phil Tufnell helped out with 3 for 49 and Brown took four catches at short leg off the spin bowlers. Middlesex lost three wickets in reaching their target, but at no stage was the result in doubt. Middlesex 24 points, Yorkshire 5.
Somerset won the toss and chose to bat first on an exceptionally good batting track in the Championship match starting on July 21st. South African star batsman Jimmy Cook (152) and his opening partner Peter Roebuck (70) occupied the crease for the first half of the day as they put on 190 for the first wicket before Roebuck fell to Phil Tufnell, one of three spinners in the Middlesex team, which included debutant Paul Weekes and only two seamers. Cook eventually departed for 152 off 305 balls with 21 fours and although 340 runs were scored on day 1, it had taken up 129 overs. Skipper Chris Tavare contributed 57, but it was ex-Middlesex allrounder Graham Rose's 57 off 38 balls with four fours and four sixes that livened up the proceedings and, along with keeper Neil Burns's 37*, enabled Somerset to declare at 445 for 6 off 147 overs, with Tufnell the pick of the bowlers with 3 for 140 from 51 overs. Desmond Haynes (41) and Mike Roseberry (25) put on 67 for the first Middlesex wicket, but it was captain Mike Gatting who dominated the innings with a superb display. Keith Brown (46) kept Gatt company in a stand of 154 for the fourth wicket, but Mike's innings of 170* came off only 188 balls and included four sixes and 25 fours and was one of the best innings of the whole season. Gatt declared at 305 for 4 immediately after the fourth batting point had been gained off 67.4 overs in an attempt to set up an interesting conclusion to the match. Somerset batted more enterprisingly in their second innings and more runs from Cook (85), Tavare (61) and Richard Harden (38) allowed the visitors to declare on 228 for 4 and set Middlesex a trifling 369 to win in 69 overs. Gatt made only 36 second time around, but Haynes played beautifully for a very important 108, however 149 were still needed off the last 20 overs. Fortunately, Mark Ramprakash was in superlative form and, taking twenty off the solitary over that Tavare gave himself, Ramps (with a little assistance from Neil Williams, who helped to add 93 for the sixth wicket) brought Middlesex to the last over with 12 required off Neil Mallender's over. Mallender had the excellent figures of 4 for 46 at this juncture, but Ramps hit him for 14 off five balls (2,2,2,4,4) to win the match by four wickets with one ball to spare. Mark finished on 146* off 133 balls with five sixes and 12 fours and this was another of the very best innings of the whole season. Middlesex 20 points, Somerset 4. Although Middlesex suffered a dodgy spell after this match, they still won the title by the comfortable margin of 31 points.
Helmet Matters
I referred to the Bairstow dismissal in the last edition. I heard first from the Great Jack Morgan:
Balls hitting fielders' helmets: I think calling dead ball is common, but I have only ever seen the five runs awarded for balls hitting the unused helmets stowed away behind the keeper. Presumably they take the view that nobody chooses to take the ball in the helmet, so punishment would be adding insult to injury.
And then at greater length from Douglas Miller
The business of Bairstow’s dismissal was interesting. As I heard it, surely no-one mentioned five penalty runs, the helmet not being on the ground. The pity was that Bairstow seemed not to know the Laws well enough to stand his ground as it will not have been an easy thing for the umpires to have spotted.
I always e-mail Sky Sports when I notice comments that reveal a less than perfect knowledge of the Laws or Regulations. I did so on this occasion because I thought there should have been no question of the ball being dead – this is a common canard. What is the case is that having hit a fielder’s helmet, a catch cannot be made by the fielder in the helmet or anyone else. Nor can a run out or stumping occur DIRECTLY off the helmet, but a run out can be made after separate subsequent contact with the ball because the ball is emphatically not dead.
However, there is a twist to all this in that if the ball LODGES in a fielder’s helmet it becomes dead – it is not a matter of the umpire calling it dead, though he may be advised to do so. Now it appears that this may have happened in the Bairstow case – an umpiring guru of mega importance stated that the ball had lodged for a very short while before coming out. I don’t personally like this interpretation because Tom Smith, now approved by MCC, states that ‘lodging’ means that it will take positive action to free it. In this instance I think it fell out. The two things that are clear are that Bairstow was not out (he wasn’t even given out, he just walked off) and that he paid for his ignorance of the Law.
Finally the name of Alan Coxon rings bells for me. I played against him a time or two when he lived in Bucks, and I also played him at squash in a match of which all I can recall is that the score was 10-9 in the fifth, but I cannot remember which of us won. He played on one occasion for Bucks, at the age of 48.
Pilling Matters
Barry Rickson sent me this
I have many fond memories of Harry Pilling, a truly Lancastrian stalwart, who played such a central part in that early 70s period of the county's ascendancy in the Lord's finals.The first recorded photo I remember of him was as a 16 year-old he was standing under the pavilion bell at Old Trafford with coach Stanley Worthington when he was allowed to ring the bell to start the day's play in the England v South Africa Test of 1960. He was apparently a promising off-spinner, but looked as though he had barely left junior school.
When he came into the Lancashire side as a batsman in the early 60s,it was a difficult time as ,torn by inter-necine warfare,(nothing new there!), it was possibly the poorest team in the club's history; Geoff. Pullar and David Green, the only reliable batsmen, but at least a great pair of opening bowlers in Brian Statham and Ken Higgs. Who can forget the Gillette disaster at Worcester in 1963 when they were 59 all-out, the match barely lasting till after lunch? In spite of all this Harry showed tremendous grit and determination and went on to prove himself a high-class professional batsman. Although there many great batsmen in the game at that period, Harry was the first to reach 1,000 runs in 40 over cricket and took part in many crucial stands with one of these greats, Clive Lloyd. One of the memories of that period was as the diminutive straight-backed Englishman was going out to bat with the the huge, loping West
Indian, the announcer, possibly with tongue in cheek, informed us the Clive was the one on the right.
Harry was a very correct batsman with a speciality of square-cutting, placing past mid-on or running the ball down to third man. He had unbounded courage and stood up fearlessly to all the fast bowlers of his day, no helmets, but always wearing with great pride the Lancashire red rose cap. He also excelled in the field, usually on the boundary. I picture him so clearly even now standing on the boundary at third man at the Stretford End throwing in with amazing strength and accuracy right over the top of the stumps with Farokh Engineer not having to move. I once asked Jack Bond, his captain in his prime years, how it was that such a small man, only 5' 3'', could throw so powerfully and accurately, and this he attributed to a very strong upper body.
I once had the pleasure of playing against him in a benefit game for Jack Bond when he scored a century in even time with hardly a boundary. I bowled at him quite a bit and what struck me was how he could score so readily with skilful placement, particularly past mid-on off what one thought.were reasonable balls. As you would expect, he was like a greyhound between the wickets, turning ones into twos etc. He was also a friendly opponent and did not look down upon we club cricketers and always had a ready quip delivered in that rich Lancashire accent.
He was a great favourite with the lady followers, and I have heard those with maternal instincts wanting to cuddle him as though he were their little son. However, not only the ladies had this affection for him and I would safely guarantee if you asked those county supporters who saw him play that in spite of all the great players who have played for the club, Harry would be right there amongst the leaders. Small in stature, but great in the county's history.
Morgan Matters
The Great Jack Morgan reports on his recent hip surgery
I went under the knife at Epsom Orthopaedic Centre on Friday (14/12. The op was deemed a success and I was soon discarding my zimmer frame and marching upstairs using only a stick and a handrail and this brilliant display led to my swift dismissal on Monday (17/12). This was into the fourth day, of course, but they have a funny way of measuring time down there in Epsom and I know that they will count this as a case that was dealt with exceptionally well and closed within three days, a fine performance. I am back home now and am accompanied by enough drugs to keep Keith Richards happy for at least a year.
Jeff Coleman responded
Huge congratulations in getting in and out of hospital without contracting C Diff, MRSA and the winter vomiting bug. You are an example to us all.
Thanks for the update. It is a continuing annoyance to me that all the advice we had in our younger days was that participating in sport was good for you. How is it that all us 'sporty types' now have either knee or hip surgery to see us into our dotage? Whilst the few friends of mine who missed the joy of chasing balls around fields, courts and sports halls have come out unscathed.
On the Middlesex front, it is disappointing that Uxbridge drops from 11 to only 6 days cricket next year with 2 of them being a 40 over and a devil's game. Also surprising that Radlett is hosting a 40 over game before they have properly sorted the access out. Still, I guess, that wont bother either of us. The plan as I understand it is to provide parking in the field behind the back-field with access via a farm track. Here's hoping for a drier May than 2012. I seem to be of a limited number who has no problem with Ramps returning as batting coach to replace Mark O'Neill. I bore no grudge when he left to play first division cricket for more money at a club which was, then, better run.
On the MCCC playing front I was surprised that Josh Davey was given another year as I am not sure he has come on much. But he will not be spending so much time on Scotland duty so maybe he can give it a real go. Thought London might get offers from other counties but having accepted a one year extension he really must get a load of runs in 2013 and more importantly stay fit. I don't think that covering Rosso and Simmo as third keeper did him a lot of favours. Upset that we let Crook go to Northants although I can certainly understand his wanting to play more matches. I think he was very underused, particularly when we played Rayner in front of him as a number 8 bat who took very few wickets on the unresponsive wickets early season. I could favour a little wager that Crook will have a better all round season next year than Berg. He was looking very good and sharp when he got a little run at the end of the season.
Jack responded
I was not happy with Ramps when he left: I felt it was purely a selfish move and if you want to make that sort of move, you have to wait until the end of your contract, which he did not. As a result, he was in bad odour with me for quite a while, but one cannot hold those sort of grudges for ever and I agree that he should be welcomed back. I think he might make a very good batting coach.
Yes, they are persevering with Josh longer than others might have done. I do not think he will make a front line bowler, but he always looks as if he can bat to me... he now needs a few big scores to prove this is correct. I agree about Adam: he can certainly bat and if his offspin had been used a bit more (instead of deputising behind the stumps) he would have got that first team opportunity that was mistakenly (or prematurely) handed to Balbirnie.
I was also a bit disappointed about Crooky: he is no youngster, but still has some unrealised potential. Despite the signing of Harris, I think the pace bowling is starting to look a little thin again. We have debated Ollie before without reaching agreement! My view is that his batting and fielding are very good (considering his place in the batting order) and while his bowling often looks ordinary, this is at least partly due to the green tracks that we always prepare at home and might look a lot better if he ever got to bowl on a turner. I do not think you should under-rate Bergy: he is a good allround cricketer, who often looks as if he is not quite fit. He might not be Mr Consistency, but Crooky can be downright erratic at times.
Shearwood Matters
Don Shearwood sent me this
I was treated to corporate hospitality at a football match for the first time in my life today. The owner of two corporate tickets went on holiday to Florida, and he gave them to my friend, Harry, a West Ham supporter. When Harry's son and daughter were unable to go, for various reasons, Harry asked me to accompany him and I gladly accepted. If you have enjoyed corporate hospitality yourself, the following may be boring, but for me it was a first-time experience.
Arriving at the Boleyn ground at 1.15, we proceeded to Club 66, a fine restaurant with a friendly atmosphere where we had our own table for two, and a delightful waitress who catered to our every (food and drink) need, beginning with a glass of champagne, which I've never particularly rated. After that it was a bottle of Sauvignon Merlot, a nice starter (Cajun salmon) followed by the main course.
While we were enjoying our main course, the club host, one George Cohen, graced us with his company. Harry, who has enjoyed this before, had told me that Martin Peters was usually the host, but his first allegiance was to Spurs, and as Spurs were at home at the same time George stepped in. (Harry told me Peters does not really have the personality for this) George stopped at many tables, engaged in banter or conversation with the diners, and eventually came to ours. Harry happily and comfortably engaged him in conversation while I pondered what to say to him,wanting to eschew the hackneyed references to 1966 and all that. When George did look at me I held out my hand, and said "Hello George, I'm Bedford Jezzard". I was rewarded with a beaming little smile as he said: " A good player and a fine manager". Harry then said "George, I'd like you to meet the Ilford & Distric League Linesman of the Year", then, in an aside to me, said "He'll probably ask you for your autograph, it's the highlight of his day"
Growing up in west London I was quite familiar with many Fulham players of those days, as I think you were too, we had quite a lengthy conversation, then he moved on to the next table. We shortly made our way to our seats, not far from the Everton Chairman, Bill Kenright, and his lovely wife; at half-time, our desserts were waiting for us, and the waitress serving coffee, and the remains of our wine was consumed before we asked for another bottle. Then back to the game, which had been good in the first half, but was pretty well ruined when the ref sent off Carlton Cole, rather harshly, with about half an hour to go. Everton then assumed the upper hand, and ran out 2-1 winners, but not before an Everton player, Gibson, was sent off, similarly harshly, which prompted the West Ham fans to again accuse the referee of onanism, remarkable for a home crowd when a visiting player is sent off.
Back then to Club 66, to finish off our wine, have more coffee, cheese and biscuits, enjoy the frequent smiles of the waitress, and then George Cohen stopped by again, for another chat in which I prompted his memory of the largely unsung and unremembered Robin Lawler (he of the earliest long throw I recall who turned out to be a good friend of George's), Tosh Chamberlain, and, of course, Johnny Haynes. A fascinating ten minutes or so followed, before George again moved on. I left West Ham feeling a bit like a pickpocket; I had enjoyed the club's hospitality, free programme, pre-match team sheet (half an hour before kick-off), all it cost me was a fiver for some raffle tickets, but we rather nicked the points off them. If you saw MoTD, you may understand how I feel.
From the Netherland of Cricket
The Professor sent me this during some of his downtime in India
One member of our group in Calcutta is a charming man by the name of Simon Sweetman. Simon is the editor of "The Cricket Statistician" which is "the Journal of the Association of Cricket Statisticians and Historians".
We have referred to the "ASC" in previous Googlies but this is my first meeting with the Editor and he showed me a copy of the Autumn edition. And a strange thing it is too. Anyone who thinks that the content of Googlies is a touch eccentric should try "The Cricket Statistician". It is a couple of standard deviations (at least) along the cricket nerdom scale.
Googlies readers Douglas Miller and Keith Walmsley have contributions to the Autumn edition and both are well-known to Simon. Keith's article spends the best part of four pages on the debate (debate?) as to whether or not Peter May's name should be hyphenated: Peter Barker Howard-May or just plain old simple Peter Barker Howard May. Keith has contacted the Central Register Office but they, sadly, were "unable to help". Douglas's letter corrects one of his previous mistakes (again) about a percentage point (or something) in something or other.
But my eye was caught (apart from a confessional piece by a member of the Committee that he had given up buying Wisden and that "as time went on, I realised I didn't miss it, and...I still don't!) by a letter to the Editor which I reproduce (almost) in it's entirety:
Sir, Two errors have crept into this book* In 1861 Willsher bowled 861.1 overs not 861.2. This makes the total add up correctly which it does not in the book.
In the list of first-class fifties, his 59* was scored against Sussex not Surrey.
Yours, etc...
(*a book about "Edgar Willsher". Who?...quite.)
This is a strange netherworld of cricket inhabited by charming and very slightly mad people. We must never, never let Googlies fall into the hands of cricketing pedants because...there is no escape.
Lord Ray Matters
Steve Caley also remembers the Shepherds Bush speech
I recall it as being the original reference to the deux merdes as I think the speaker mentioned that “unless anyone of those in attendance had been born in the last few minutes, we were all, indeed, between deux merdes, the one we had just had and the one that would no doubt follow the dinner due to a surfeit of ale”.
Don Wallis
Don Wallis, the President of South Hampstead CC, died in December. I will publish tributes and memories in the next edition.
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
Tel & fax: 01298 70237
Email: [email protected]