GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 243
March 2023
Spot the Ball
Out & About with the Professor
There is something to be said for playing Test matches at smaller venues. After all, if fewer people want to attend (except in England and in Melbourne on Boxing Day) why not adapt the venue to fit the audience rather than wishing it was the other way round. In any event the Mount Maunganui ground is small, but very attractive and a delightful venue for a game of cricket.
It is also, in truth, a touch out of the way. The ground is part of a large sports complex with rugby, cricket, hockey and tennis and several indoor facilities. It is a very smart set-up. But the whole complex forms a sort of buffer between a big industrial port and a suburban housing estate. So to drive to the ground necessitates going through the port with giant silos, mountains of felled tree trunks and canyons of Maersk shipping containers. Just when you think there can’t be a cricket ground here, there it is!
And very smart it is too. There are no stands; the immaculate, slightly domed, playing surface is entirely surrounded by a steepish grass bank which must be able to accommodate a couple of thousand spectators (difficult to know the capacity exactly, it depends, I suppose, on the size of blankets). There are a few concrete terraces set into the bank outside the low level pavilion that will take a chair for the important or infirm (or both) to sit on…otherwise it’s the grass. But even the grass on the banks is pretty good - better than very many outfields I have been on. The mobility of positioning allows you, in effect, the best seat in the house: top of the bank, behind the bowlers arm - I was a very happy chappy.
So there we all are. Stokes loses the toss, says he didn’t know what he would have done if he had won it (can this be true?- there has been a cyclone tipping rain on North Island for a week or more) and we sat back and watched Southee move the ball sideways. It was hardly a surprise when Crawley’s three-life innings came to a close, but Duckett batted as composed an innings as I have seen from him. Being left-handed was a big advantage against Southee. So off we go, shots all round the ground; 77 in the first hour off 11; Brook to 50 with ten 4s, etc. There was really no slogging until the tail end but the reason that this style of cricket is so captivating is not just that the ball keeps whizzing off to the fence but also because you can never be sure what’s going to happen next. 200 in rapid time with just four down? Time to hunker down, get 450 and play them out of the game? Not a chance. Anything vaguely attackable is attacked. So when the runs are flowing a slight misjudgement (or more than slight in the case of Root, Stokes, and others) is another wicket down and you could be all out for 250. Or perhaps it might be 500.? No one knows! In the event, the whole thing is done and dusted in 50 odd overs.
The Stokes declaration was interpreted in the crowd (we are called “patrons” by the way, c.f., Augusta) as a worry about more rain, since all day the blackest of skies had approached the ground, but not a bit of it, he just thought it was time for some more wickets…as, indeed, it was. Can he get anything wrong?
Well…some of the field placing and (non) bowling changes in the last hour of the New Zealand innings were bizarre, and as for the “nighthawk”…ludicrous.
But, but, but…it all works. A very decent first innings effort by NZ gets them more or less level. Some more biffing from our lot…and then along comes Stuart.
There are, I know, people who still object to the fluorescent bails and stumps but, in a pitch-black evening, the explosion of light every time Broad hit the stumps was exhilarating.
One companion said to me that it was notable that in our 700 run aggregate, no one had scored a hundred. But I wonder whether this might not become the norm. If you bat like this you are going to get out, but they are trading that against the runs you score beforehand. The New Zealanders bowled over after over of bouncers at Pope and set a trap of three fielders on the leg side fence and a fly slip (sometime two). The trap was set, but Pope looked at it not as a trap, but as a target. Bouncer after bouncer, hook after hook. Over the fielders into the crowd, or just in between - it didn’t matter. There was never any doubt what ball was going to be delivered or what shot would be played. The only surprise was that he was out caught behind. Presumably every other Test side has seen this and will do something similar. Three-day Test matches are on the cards.
Jimmy polished off the tail in the first session of Day 4 and we all went home early.
It was a day - again - of records: Stokes for the sixes, Anderson/Broad for their combo, the early declaration, etc. And a thumping win.
One tradition that I thought we had lost in cricket was that of the streaker. Not so. In a lull in play (a four or six had not been struck for, oh…minutes) and a tall, blonde, slim, local lad ran prancing on to the outfield, pursued by a, frankly, rather chubby security guard. The streaker was wearing underpants which I felt rather went against the tradition in these things and he was, of course, filming himself on the phone. He soon realised that the portly pursuer was not up to the task and so slowed down a couple of times to allow him to nearly catch up in order that he could deride him by quickening up again. We must all guard against hubris, and so should have he. The cheers of the crowd as he teased his pursuer distracted him from the approach, at some speed, of a younger, very much fitter, security chap who had clearly played a bit of rugby is his time. Blondey Boy just about saw him as he hit in full flight. It was an expert crunching Tuilagi collision, almost snapping the slim lad in two. In any other circumstance I suppose it would have been an assault, the man was truly flattened, face in the dirt, not far short of the stumps, and looked like he might have some trouble getting up, especially since Security Man No. 1 had by now arrived and had taken the chance for what I believe in rugby terms is called “a bit of afters”. Being Tuilagied for tough, hardened, rugby players seems to take a little getting over. Our man was neither tough nor hardened and he was eventually dragged off the field like a victim of torture …which I suppose, in a way, he was.
The “patrons” by the way, who around here know a thing or two about good tackling, were ecstatic.
WellingtonI suppose in the end it could be regarded as a matter of personal preference, but for me I have always thought that when the captains go out to the toss there was some virtue in there being a discernible difference between the pitch and the outfield. I think I have seen village games where the stumps seem to be placed at random in the middle of a field, and indeed at the Basin Reserve ground in Wellington the stumps did provide a handy clue as to the location of the pitch, but otherwise all was the verdant emerald of the Rice/Hadlee Trent Bridge in the years before they invested in a lawnmower.
The prize for saddest man in Wellington at ten to 11 on the first day must have been Jimmy Anderson when Stokes lost the toss again, got inserted again, and lost quick wickets again: 21-3 after half an hour. Not that that matters anymore. 21-3? Chance for someone else to whack it - and that someone else’s name is Harry. And does he whack it. The shot I especially liked was after Brook had been in for seven or eight overs; he backed away to Southee, showed all three stumps, and belted the ball over the mid-wicket fence. Just to repeat that; it was Southee, one of the best seam bowlers in the world, it was the greenest of green tops, and we were three down for bugger all.
I’m sure the Press in England are doing evaluations and re-evaluations of Brook. My two cents is that in, I suppose, around 65 years of watching international cricket, I have never seen anyone bat like Brook. On occasions, yes of course; we can all remember the great attacking innings: Richards, Greenwich, Lara, Botham, Stokes (…add your own favourite) but every innings? I’ve not seen it. The key is, as always, that Brook sees the ball so early and has licence - almost a mandate - to attack anything attackable. And he does. All the time. Every innings. Always. Just stunning to watch. The only way to stop him appears to be to run him out - a point Joe Root established succinctly.
Both sides coincidentally were 21-3 in their first innings at Wellington. The difference was what happened then: England went on to 323-4, New Zealand, 60-4.
The Basin Reserve ground is fairly centrally placed in Wellington and a very easy walk from most of the large hotels. It must be near a hospital because there are fairly frequent sirens during the match from emergency vehicles coming or going. Apart from the green playing surface the ground really has three sections: a grass bank (a la Mt Maunganui); open wooden benches (think Scarborough); and a largish “traditional” stand at the pavilion end. This being New Zealand, it doesn’t much matter where you sit - officialdom being at its most understated. It makes for a nice venue. It is also one where you can walk round the whole ground and so sit down at different spots during the day for a different view.
The view of Stokes’ captaincy is, however, unremitting. He can’t do anything wrong. He does lots of things wrong of course, but it never matters…until today. It was a ridiculous decision to make New Zealand follow-on. No one around me watching thought he would do that - and so of course he did. Doesn’t matter. We’ll let them back into the game, then bash off the runs…and we almost did. But an almost, while providing a mesmerising last day, is not quite what we wanted. If you have travelled exactly half way round the world, “almost” does not have a pleasant taste. But there we are, sports are character building, even if you would prefer them not to be.
So, Stokes’ first defeat. But his mantra is to provide entertainment…and he sure did that.
This & That
All this continued talk of Bazball has reminded me of my last visit to an international T20 match. It was the occasion on which we were seated at Old Trafford behind a row of drunk Irishmen dressed up as the Flintstones. I saw very little of the New Zealand innings in which the opportunity to watch McCullum bat had been the star attraction. In the event he patted it around for ten overs and then got out for very few and the New Zealanders managed only 123 for 9. England’s opening bowlers for this match were Anderson and Broad with Luke Wright first change. Bell and Pietersen knocked them off but not until the eighteenth over.
Law changes are creeping into the game via various back doors. In the South African T20 inaugural competition(SA20) buzzers could not be taken in the event of a direct hit on the stumps by a fielder. The plan was to encourage fielders to go for the direct hit and excite the fans. I would much prefer buzzers be the result of failure by the bowler and fielders to get up to the wicket and back up. There would be far more run outs if the modern players followed these basic practices. In the Hundred last year they insisted that the incoming batsman face the next delivery even if the batsman had crossed. In the white ball game they now use a different ball at each end. I have also never understood why umpires give wides to leg side deliveries in white ball cricket but not in test matches.
In the Durban Super Giants match against the Pretoria Capitals de Kock and McDermott added 76 in the first six Powerplay overs and Klaasen and Breetzke scored 84 in the final six overs. Durban amassed 254 for 4 and Klaasen finished on 104 not out. In the semi-final Aiden Markram scored a magnificent hundred to see the Sunrisers East Cape into the final but it was Adam, too fat for Middlesex, Rossington who played the outstanding innings hitting five sixes in a match winning innings of 57 in a low scoring game.
The day after the SA20 final the Pakistan Super League (PSL) started and the first two matches were exceptional. In match 1 Lahore were put in and reached 175 for 6 which was enough for them to win by 1 run. In the second match Peshawar were also put in and they reached 199 for 5 mainly due to Tom Kohler-Cadmore’s 92. This proved enough as Karachi finished on 197 for 5.
Quetta Gladiators were 22 for 4 at the end of the powerplay against Karachi and then 92 for 5 with five overs to go. But Martin Guptill was still there and he started playing his trade mark shots and in particular scored 30 (3 sixes, 3 fours) from Andrew Tye’s final over, the nineteenth of the innings. Guptill was out for 117 off the last ball of the innings. He scored 43 from the first 40 balls he faced and 77 from the next 27. Quetta reached the barely presentable but highly unlikely score of 168 for 7. However, yet again it was enough to beat Karachi, who had put them in, by 6 runs.
If you are a fan of big hitting then Islamabad United should be your team. They are packed with power men and keep going regardless. Against the Quetta Gladiators at the halfway mark they found themselves precariously at 71 for 4 which sounds a problem but at numbers five and six they had Azam Khan and Asif Ali. When the latter was out seven and a half overs later they had added 98. Faheem joined Azam at the crease and they added 51 from the final sixteen balls. Azam was out to the last ball of the innings for 97 from 42 balls. He hit nine sixes and in total Islamabad hit a record 18.
These T20 leagues provide excellent daily entertainment in the UK during the winter months and are clearly popular with the players and huge crowds that support them. It seems absurd that we have to have the Hundred in the UK particularly as we started T20 and maintain our own domestic T20 competition. Once the PSL has finished the IPL will start. We may also have the T10 matches from around the world. Trent Boult may well be leading a move away from the longer forms in favour of short-term lucrative contracts.
When the West Indies played Zimbabwe their openers added 336 with Kraigg Brathwaite scoring 182 which made you wonder who could have been at the other end scoring slower than one of the world’s biggest blockers. It turned out to be someone called Chanderpaul who went on to make 207 not out. This turned out not to be Shivnarine but rather his son, Tagenarine.
A few years back Newcastle paid £40m for Joelinton who was supposed to become the big number 9 who solved their goalscoring problems. He was relentlessly disappointing until Eddie Howe became manager but since then has become an outstanding midfield player, who tackles, carries the ball forward and covers the whole playing area. He was Newcastle’s Player of the Year last season and will probably be again this year. But he still doesn’t score any goals. Nor does Callum Wilson on the few occasions he is not injured and so Newcastle splashed out over £50m on the 6’ 4” beanpole, Alexander Isak, as their latest spearhead who looks awful and less likely to score than his predecessors. Perhaps Eddie can turn him into a centre half?
It seems that marking and match ups have gone out of premiership football. At corners and free kicks the most incongruous match ups arise. For example, when Tarkowski headed in against Arsenal was it Gabriel picking him up? No, it was Odegaard. Playing against Manchester City you may find yourself having to outjump Benardo Silva at a corner. Whilst at the other end of the pitch when City won a corner their big guys Rodri, Laporte and Dias had a cuddle on the edge of the area whilst being jostled by miscellaneous Villa defenders but when Rodri broke he was left on his own with a free header from which he scored.
I understand the concept of playing out from the back in that you invariably lose possession if you employ a big punt up field. However, tactics continue to change and the high press has made the practice much more precarious particularly if your defenders are essentially thugs not footballers. You can see the thought processes as these clowns pat it between themselves “If I boot it upfield I will be dropped next week but if I get caught in possession I will look a prat”. Eventually they play a short hospital ball to a central midfielder who stands no chance of getting it and definitely doesn’t want it which presents a scoring opportunity to the opponents. At least the upfield punt means loss of possession around the halfway line not on the edge of your own penalty area.
Nick Pope is a goalkeeper who is not averse to booting the ball up the pitch but he won’t be dropped by his manager as he found his own way to miss out on a Wembley appearance by collecting a red card. Meanwhile, Martinez the 6-foot 5 Aston Villa goalkeeper had an extra time against Arsenal that he would rather forget. First, he headed the ball into his own net after it bounced back off the post and then thinking it was his day for headers took his huge frame up the other end to be a hero and head in a corner. But it wasn’t to be and when Villa lost possession and Arsenal swept upfield Martinelli was able to score into an empty net. I asked our goalkeeping guru, Ken Molloy, “Did you ever go up for a corner late in the game to try to head a winner or equalizer? And if so were you ever caught out at the wrong end of the pitch a la Martinez?” He replied: “I did but I was never caught out. I don’t see much wrong with doing that if it makes no difference if you concede a goal. What I never did was try to be clever when I had the ball at my feet, kicking it out, even for a corner rather than trying to emulate Pele, and as I got better as I got older I usually managed to throw or kick the ball to a team mate who was not surrounded by opponents rather than directing it to an opponent; a major weakness of many top keepers.”
Ken copied Richard Bevan in on this stuff and he responded: “I recall a match at Loftus Road a few years ago, possibly against Cardiff. QPR played a young Irish forward called Smyth. He could only have been five foot two and at a corner he stood by the near post and as the ball came over the Cardiff defender literally picked him up with both hands, so Smith was horizontal, and then dropped him on the ground - nothing was given! Smyth had the last laugh as he scored in the second half. I think it was his only ever goal for the first team.”
Morgan Matters
RU: someone with the daft name of Jac Morgan (I kid you not) will start in the back row for Wales against Ireland on Saturday.
Sam Curran has been fined and had one demerit point added to his disciplinary record for his celebration after dismissing SA capt T Bavuma in Sunday's 2nd ODI. He has been docked 15% of his match fee and has incurred a demerit point. He violated ICC's code of conduct by excessively celebrating the wicket in close proximity to the dismissed batter.
Leicestershire have signed Indian batter Ajinkya Rahane who will join up in June and be available for 8 Championship matches and all of the One Day Cup. Surrey have re-signed WI white ball specialist Sunil Narine for the 2023 Blast. Sussex have signed Oz pace-bowling allrounder Nathan McAndrew for the first half of the 2023 season. Lancashire have signed NZ internationals Daryl Mitchell and Colin de Grandhomme for the 2023 season.
Thanks for Googlies 242: I do not think you would have been at Loftus Road on Boxing Day 1963 as Rs were actually away to Bristol City that day! Nice to see praise for Googlies from Steve Thompson and I am claiming a little credit myself as one of your "small team of excellent regular monthly contributors"!
The World Test Championship final will be held at the Oval between 7 and 11 June. The four teams competing for a place in the final are Australia, India, Sri Lanka and South Africa.
Rs lost 1-2 at home to Millwall, which was their first win at the Bush for 34 years. Rs are without a win in 9 matches, have won only one of their last 16 and only one since N Critchley took over as head coach. They are 10 points clear of the relegation places but have played a game more than most. I have been looking at the Premier League table (only an occasional pastime for me) and was slightly surprised to see that London clubs occupy 1st (Arsenal), 5th (Spurs), 7th (Fulham), 8th (Brentford), 9th (Chelsea), 12th (Crystal Palace) and 16th (West Ham) positions in the table.
Eoin Morgan has retired from all cricket aged 36. He played 16 Tests, but captained England in a record 126 ODIs and 72 T20s. He is England's leading run scorer in ODIs (6,957) and is second to Jos Buttler in the T20 standings. He is being called "an immortal of English sport". He will now work as a commentator and pundit.
Rs lost 0-3 at home to Sunderland and are 10 points off the relegation places having played 2 games more than most.
Temba Bavuma has replaced Dean Elgar as SA Test captain.
A Nighthawk is "England's novel new take on the nightwatchman". The Nighthawk is a lower order batter sent up the order (eg Stuart Broad) to swing for the fences in an attempt to disorient opponents, add a few runs and keep England on the front foot. B McCullum is getting the credit for coming up with the idea.
Rs have sacked Neil Critchley as head coach and assistants Ian Brunskill and Mike Garrity have gone with him. There was one solitary win in 12 games under their management. Chief executive Lee Hoos said “it is hugely disappointing to have to make such a decision so early into Neil’s tenure... and we would like to acknowledge his superb work ethic and professionalism throughout... he is a fantastic man”.
The March Cricketer tells us:
that Michael Vaughan looks set to be the only person charged by the ECB in connection with allegations of racism at Yorks who is prepared to defend himself in person;
"cricket's wittiest writer" (that's Martin Johnson formerly of the Independent) was remembered by a booze-up at the Prince Alfred in Warwick Avenue, central London;
Australia withdrew from an ODI series v Afghanistan in protest about the Taliban further restricting education for women and girls;
Neil Killeen is the new England elite fast bowling coach;
Gary Ballance became the second man (after Kepler Wessels) to hit Test centuries for two nations with 137* for Zimbabwe v West Indies at Bulawayo;
Mike Selvey tells us that "to kit out a junior the minimum spend is more than £200, a top-end junior bat costs £500";
Ed Warner was very surprised "at the lack of emphasis on sporting success, especially for Middlesex men's elite squad";
Melinda Farrell tells us that Sam Curran may not be in the Test team, "but his white ball performances have catapulted him into the multi-millionaire league";
Vic Marks tells us that "the big three" (I think he means England, Australia and India) must give up some of their riches to save Test cricket otherwise players will "keep choosing the franchise route"; similarly, Gary Kirsten is gloomy about the future of Test cricket and says that "the Big Three must help South Africa";
Duncan Hamilton fears that "the post-internet generation will be the last to find cricket's history appealing";
South African "great" Hashim Amla has retired from professional cricket after two decades that featured 34,104 runs in all formats, 28 Test hundreds in 124 appearances and another 27 in ODIs;
We find out that Ian Pont "had an enjoyable time at Essex with brother Keith, has coached teams all over the world, written a fast-bowling 'bible', shone at baseball and javelin and now sings in a Spandau Ballet tribute band”.
Rs are apparently hoping to appoint Gareth Ainsworth (he is an ex-Rs man now at High Wycombe) as the new manager. Ainsworth is, indeed, the new Rs manager on a three and a half year deal and he is joined by his assistant Richard Dobson and analyst Josh Hart.
England's leading wicket taker, 40-year-old J Anderson (682 Test wickets), has returned to the top of the ICC's Test bowling rankings. He is 40 years and 207 days old and is the oldest bowler to top the rankings since Clarrie Grimmett in 1936. His 682 wickets puts him third on the all-time list behind Muralitheran and Warne.
Somerset have signed NZ fast bowler Matt Henry for half of the 2123 season.
John Motson is dead aged 77.
John Jackson
Terry Hunt sent me the following
I was saddened to hear of the death of John Jackson. I was in the same intake to SCD in 1954 as “Jacko” and played in the same side as him from U12s to 1st XI. He always was an excellent keeper and allowed the team in front of him to play with freedom. However, he did have one weakness – he was flat-footed and was susceptible to lobs. I remember at Easter 1961 playing in the same side as him for Old Danes 2nd XI against Uxonians at the old Kensington & Chelsea Playing Fields, by the A40 at Northolt. As a result of a muddy pitch having been traversed by a tractor just before the weather changed from rain to sunshine, it was like corrugated iron – you could actually roll the ball along a groove and watch it bobble while it stayed in that groove. By contrast, the next time that I saw him, in January 1965, he was playing in goal for Palace at Plymouth Argyle in the old Division 2 (I was a student at Exeter at the time).
I attach a photo of the U12s in November 1954. Back row: Ray Atkinson, Richard Cork, Parker, John Jackson, Vic Stone, Tony Pickering, Dave Allen. Front row: Terry Hunt, ‘Mole’ Martin, Derek Jones, Andrew Paterson, Bill Wake.
I replied: I remember Tony Pickering who I believe had a brother and Andy Patterson.
Terry: Tony’s elder brother was John, who played soccer and cricket. I have a recollection of him playing for Finchley, but I don’t know which sport that was. Tony is still the record goal-scorer of Hanwell Town FC. Their father was captain of a Turnham Green cricket team which played at Chiswick House, including a match with Middlesex every year; on one occasion I remember Brian Johnston was present. I went to infant, junior and grammar school with Andy Paterson, and junior and grammar school with Tony Pickering.
Jackson, who was in 6 Economics, was offered a place at Christs College, Cambridge, together with Ken Clarke; in those days, it was mandatory that one had to pass O Level Latin to go to Cambridge. So, Jacko spent a whole year studying only Latin. He failed! So, he became a professional footballer instead. Arthur Rowe, the Palace manager, had been pursuing him for years.
The Haka
The professor has been experiencing all the local traditions on his trip
I have never really seen the point of the Haka as a prelude to a rugby match - all that pulling funny faces and sticking your young out seems, well, a bit silly really. I’ve also never understood why the opposing players stand there and watch, rather than doing something more productive, like practicing a few passes. Oh I know it’s supposed to be disrespectful to not pay attention, but I gather that the words of the Haka (lyrics?) might themselves display some lack of respect for the opposition.
In between Test matches I caught the start of a rugby league match between two teams who both did the Haka. The sides were the Mauri All Stars and the Indigenous Invincibles (or somesuch).
They each lined up and did all the gestures and sticking out of tongues in turn, the one waiting patiently for the other to finish. Neither side was alone, each had a back-up of about a dozen “traditionally dressed” warriors all carrying long spears and cudgels (useful accoutrements, I should have thought, in a game of rugby league). The back-up boys did a bit of Haka as well, and they all advanced towards each other so that in the end both sides were face to face, in a line across the pitch, screaming abuse (presumably) and sticking out tongues. Then, at an unseen signal, they all stopped, shook hands and rubbed noses.
As I said, a very odd tradition.
Googlies Website
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 243
March 2023
Spot the Ball
Out & About with the Professor
There is something to be said for playing Test matches at smaller venues. After all, if fewer people want to attend (except in England and in Melbourne on Boxing Day) why not adapt the venue to fit the audience rather than wishing it was the other way round. In any event the Mount Maunganui ground is small, but very attractive and a delightful venue for a game of cricket.
It is also, in truth, a touch out of the way. The ground is part of a large sports complex with rugby, cricket, hockey and tennis and several indoor facilities. It is a very smart set-up. But the whole complex forms a sort of buffer between a big industrial port and a suburban housing estate. So to drive to the ground necessitates going through the port with giant silos, mountains of felled tree trunks and canyons of Maersk shipping containers. Just when you think there can’t be a cricket ground here, there it is!
And very smart it is too. There are no stands; the immaculate, slightly domed, playing surface is entirely surrounded by a steepish grass bank which must be able to accommodate a couple of thousand spectators (difficult to know the capacity exactly, it depends, I suppose, on the size of blankets). There are a few concrete terraces set into the bank outside the low level pavilion that will take a chair for the important or infirm (or both) to sit on…otherwise it’s the grass. But even the grass on the banks is pretty good - better than very many outfields I have been on. The mobility of positioning allows you, in effect, the best seat in the house: top of the bank, behind the bowlers arm - I was a very happy chappy.
So there we all are. Stokes loses the toss, says he didn’t know what he would have done if he had won it (can this be true?- there has been a cyclone tipping rain on North Island for a week or more) and we sat back and watched Southee move the ball sideways. It was hardly a surprise when Crawley’s three-life innings came to a close, but Duckett batted as composed an innings as I have seen from him. Being left-handed was a big advantage against Southee. So off we go, shots all round the ground; 77 in the first hour off 11; Brook to 50 with ten 4s, etc. There was really no slogging until the tail end but the reason that this style of cricket is so captivating is not just that the ball keeps whizzing off to the fence but also because you can never be sure what’s going to happen next. 200 in rapid time with just four down? Time to hunker down, get 450 and play them out of the game? Not a chance. Anything vaguely attackable is attacked. So when the runs are flowing a slight misjudgement (or more than slight in the case of Root, Stokes, and others) is another wicket down and you could be all out for 250. Or perhaps it might be 500.? No one knows! In the event, the whole thing is done and dusted in 50 odd overs.
The Stokes declaration was interpreted in the crowd (we are called “patrons” by the way, c.f., Augusta) as a worry about more rain, since all day the blackest of skies had approached the ground, but not a bit of it, he just thought it was time for some more wickets…as, indeed, it was. Can he get anything wrong?
Well…some of the field placing and (non) bowling changes in the last hour of the New Zealand innings were bizarre, and as for the “nighthawk”…ludicrous.
But, but, but…it all works. A very decent first innings effort by NZ gets them more or less level. Some more biffing from our lot…and then along comes Stuart.
There are, I know, people who still object to the fluorescent bails and stumps but, in a pitch-black evening, the explosion of light every time Broad hit the stumps was exhilarating.
One companion said to me that it was notable that in our 700 run aggregate, no one had scored a hundred. But I wonder whether this might not become the norm. If you bat like this you are going to get out, but they are trading that against the runs you score beforehand. The New Zealanders bowled over after over of bouncers at Pope and set a trap of three fielders on the leg side fence and a fly slip (sometime two). The trap was set, but Pope looked at it not as a trap, but as a target. Bouncer after bouncer, hook after hook. Over the fielders into the crowd, or just in between - it didn’t matter. There was never any doubt what ball was going to be delivered or what shot would be played. The only surprise was that he was out caught behind. Presumably every other Test side has seen this and will do something similar. Three-day Test matches are on the cards.
Jimmy polished off the tail in the first session of Day 4 and we all went home early.
It was a day - again - of records: Stokes for the sixes, Anderson/Broad for their combo, the early declaration, etc. And a thumping win.
One tradition that I thought we had lost in cricket was that of the streaker. Not so. In a lull in play (a four or six had not been struck for, oh…minutes) and a tall, blonde, slim, local lad ran prancing on to the outfield, pursued by a, frankly, rather chubby security guard. The streaker was wearing underpants which I felt rather went against the tradition in these things and he was, of course, filming himself on the phone. He soon realised that the portly pursuer was not up to the task and so slowed down a couple of times to allow him to nearly catch up in order that he could deride him by quickening up again. We must all guard against hubris, and so should have he. The cheers of the crowd as he teased his pursuer distracted him from the approach, at some speed, of a younger, very much fitter, security chap who had clearly played a bit of rugby is his time. Blondey Boy just about saw him as he hit in full flight. It was an expert crunching Tuilagi collision, almost snapping the slim lad in two. In any other circumstance I suppose it would have been an assault, the man was truly flattened, face in the dirt, not far short of the stumps, and looked like he might have some trouble getting up, especially since Security Man No. 1 had by now arrived and had taken the chance for what I believe in rugby terms is called “a bit of afters”. Being Tuilagied for tough, hardened, rugby players seems to take a little getting over. Our man was neither tough nor hardened and he was eventually dragged off the field like a victim of torture …which I suppose, in a way, he was.
The “patrons” by the way, who around here know a thing or two about good tackling, were ecstatic.
WellingtonI suppose in the end it could be regarded as a matter of personal preference, but for me I have always thought that when the captains go out to the toss there was some virtue in there being a discernible difference between the pitch and the outfield. I think I have seen village games where the stumps seem to be placed at random in the middle of a field, and indeed at the Basin Reserve ground in Wellington the stumps did provide a handy clue as to the location of the pitch, but otherwise all was the verdant emerald of the Rice/Hadlee Trent Bridge in the years before they invested in a lawnmower.
The prize for saddest man in Wellington at ten to 11 on the first day must have been Jimmy Anderson when Stokes lost the toss again, got inserted again, and lost quick wickets again: 21-3 after half an hour. Not that that matters anymore. 21-3? Chance for someone else to whack it - and that someone else’s name is Harry. And does he whack it. The shot I especially liked was after Brook had been in for seven or eight overs; he backed away to Southee, showed all three stumps, and belted the ball over the mid-wicket fence. Just to repeat that; it was Southee, one of the best seam bowlers in the world, it was the greenest of green tops, and we were three down for bugger all.
I’m sure the Press in England are doing evaluations and re-evaluations of Brook. My two cents is that in, I suppose, around 65 years of watching international cricket, I have never seen anyone bat like Brook. On occasions, yes of course; we can all remember the great attacking innings: Richards, Greenwich, Lara, Botham, Stokes (…add your own favourite) but every innings? I’ve not seen it. The key is, as always, that Brook sees the ball so early and has licence - almost a mandate - to attack anything attackable. And he does. All the time. Every innings. Always. Just stunning to watch. The only way to stop him appears to be to run him out - a point Joe Root established succinctly.
Both sides coincidentally were 21-3 in their first innings at Wellington. The difference was what happened then: England went on to 323-4, New Zealand, 60-4.
The Basin Reserve ground is fairly centrally placed in Wellington and a very easy walk from most of the large hotels. It must be near a hospital because there are fairly frequent sirens during the match from emergency vehicles coming or going. Apart from the green playing surface the ground really has three sections: a grass bank (a la Mt Maunganui); open wooden benches (think Scarborough); and a largish “traditional” stand at the pavilion end. This being New Zealand, it doesn’t much matter where you sit - officialdom being at its most understated. It makes for a nice venue. It is also one where you can walk round the whole ground and so sit down at different spots during the day for a different view.
The view of Stokes’ captaincy is, however, unremitting. He can’t do anything wrong. He does lots of things wrong of course, but it never matters…until today. It was a ridiculous decision to make New Zealand follow-on. No one around me watching thought he would do that - and so of course he did. Doesn’t matter. We’ll let them back into the game, then bash off the runs…and we almost did. But an almost, while providing a mesmerising last day, is not quite what we wanted. If you have travelled exactly half way round the world, “almost” does not have a pleasant taste. But there we are, sports are character building, even if you would prefer them not to be.
So, Stokes’ first defeat. But his mantra is to provide entertainment…and he sure did that.
This & That
All this continued talk of Bazball has reminded me of my last visit to an international T20 match. It was the occasion on which we were seated at Old Trafford behind a row of drunk Irishmen dressed up as the Flintstones. I saw very little of the New Zealand innings in which the opportunity to watch McCullum bat had been the star attraction. In the event he patted it around for ten overs and then got out for very few and the New Zealanders managed only 123 for 9. England’s opening bowlers for this match were Anderson and Broad with Luke Wright first change. Bell and Pietersen knocked them off but not until the eighteenth over.
Law changes are creeping into the game via various back doors. In the South African T20 inaugural competition(SA20) buzzers could not be taken in the event of a direct hit on the stumps by a fielder. The plan was to encourage fielders to go for the direct hit and excite the fans. I would much prefer buzzers be the result of failure by the bowler and fielders to get up to the wicket and back up. There would be far more run outs if the modern players followed these basic practices. In the Hundred last year they insisted that the incoming batsman face the next delivery even if the batsman had crossed. In the white ball game they now use a different ball at each end. I have also never understood why umpires give wides to leg side deliveries in white ball cricket but not in test matches.
In the Durban Super Giants match against the Pretoria Capitals de Kock and McDermott added 76 in the first six Powerplay overs and Klaasen and Breetzke scored 84 in the final six overs. Durban amassed 254 for 4 and Klaasen finished on 104 not out. In the semi-final Aiden Markram scored a magnificent hundred to see the Sunrisers East Cape into the final but it was Adam, too fat for Middlesex, Rossington who played the outstanding innings hitting five sixes in a match winning innings of 57 in a low scoring game.
The day after the SA20 final the Pakistan Super League (PSL) started and the first two matches were exceptional. In match 1 Lahore were put in and reached 175 for 6 which was enough for them to win by 1 run. In the second match Peshawar were also put in and they reached 199 for 5 mainly due to Tom Kohler-Cadmore’s 92. This proved enough as Karachi finished on 197 for 5.
Quetta Gladiators were 22 for 4 at the end of the powerplay against Karachi and then 92 for 5 with five overs to go. But Martin Guptill was still there and he started playing his trade mark shots and in particular scored 30 (3 sixes, 3 fours) from Andrew Tye’s final over, the nineteenth of the innings. Guptill was out for 117 off the last ball of the innings. He scored 43 from the first 40 balls he faced and 77 from the next 27. Quetta reached the barely presentable but highly unlikely score of 168 for 7. However, yet again it was enough to beat Karachi, who had put them in, by 6 runs.
If you are a fan of big hitting then Islamabad United should be your team. They are packed with power men and keep going regardless. Against the Quetta Gladiators at the halfway mark they found themselves precariously at 71 for 4 which sounds a problem but at numbers five and six they had Azam Khan and Asif Ali. When the latter was out seven and a half overs later they had added 98. Faheem joined Azam at the crease and they added 51 from the final sixteen balls. Azam was out to the last ball of the innings for 97 from 42 balls. He hit nine sixes and in total Islamabad hit a record 18.
These T20 leagues provide excellent daily entertainment in the UK during the winter months and are clearly popular with the players and huge crowds that support them. It seems absurd that we have to have the Hundred in the UK particularly as we started T20 and maintain our own domestic T20 competition. Once the PSL has finished the IPL will start. We may also have the T10 matches from around the world. Trent Boult may well be leading a move away from the longer forms in favour of short-term lucrative contracts.
When the West Indies played Zimbabwe their openers added 336 with Kraigg Brathwaite scoring 182 which made you wonder who could have been at the other end scoring slower than one of the world’s biggest blockers. It turned out to be someone called Chanderpaul who went on to make 207 not out. This turned out not to be Shivnarine but rather his son, Tagenarine.
A few years back Newcastle paid £40m for Joelinton who was supposed to become the big number 9 who solved their goalscoring problems. He was relentlessly disappointing until Eddie Howe became manager but since then has become an outstanding midfield player, who tackles, carries the ball forward and covers the whole playing area. He was Newcastle’s Player of the Year last season and will probably be again this year. But he still doesn’t score any goals. Nor does Callum Wilson on the few occasions he is not injured and so Newcastle splashed out over £50m on the 6’ 4” beanpole, Alexander Isak, as their latest spearhead who looks awful and less likely to score than his predecessors. Perhaps Eddie can turn him into a centre half?
It seems that marking and match ups have gone out of premiership football. At corners and free kicks the most incongruous match ups arise. For example, when Tarkowski headed in against Arsenal was it Gabriel picking him up? No, it was Odegaard. Playing against Manchester City you may find yourself having to outjump Benardo Silva at a corner. Whilst at the other end of the pitch when City won a corner their big guys Rodri, Laporte and Dias had a cuddle on the edge of the area whilst being jostled by miscellaneous Villa defenders but when Rodri broke he was left on his own with a free header from which he scored.
I understand the concept of playing out from the back in that you invariably lose possession if you employ a big punt up field. However, tactics continue to change and the high press has made the practice much more precarious particularly if your defenders are essentially thugs not footballers. You can see the thought processes as these clowns pat it between themselves “If I boot it upfield I will be dropped next week but if I get caught in possession I will look a prat”. Eventually they play a short hospital ball to a central midfielder who stands no chance of getting it and definitely doesn’t want it which presents a scoring opportunity to the opponents. At least the upfield punt means loss of possession around the halfway line not on the edge of your own penalty area.
Nick Pope is a goalkeeper who is not averse to booting the ball up the pitch but he won’t be dropped by his manager as he found his own way to miss out on a Wembley appearance by collecting a red card. Meanwhile, Martinez the 6-foot 5 Aston Villa goalkeeper had an extra time against Arsenal that he would rather forget. First, he headed the ball into his own net after it bounced back off the post and then thinking it was his day for headers took his huge frame up the other end to be a hero and head in a corner. But it wasn’t to be and when Villa lost possession and Arsenal swept upfield Martinelli was able to score into an empty net. I asked our goalkeeping guru, Ken Molloy, “Did you ever go up for a corner late in the game to try to head a winner or equalizer? And if so were you ever caught out at the wrong end of the pitch a la Martinez?” He replied: “I did but I was never caught out. I don’t see much wrong with doing that if it makes no difference if you concede a goal. What I never did was try to be clever when I had the ball at my feet, kicking it out, even for a corner rather than trying to emulate Pele, and as I got better as I got older I usually managed to throw or kick the ball to a team mate who was not surrounded by opponents rather than directing it to an opponent; a major weakness of many top keepers.”
Ken copied Richard Bevan in on this stuff and he responded: “I recall a match at Loftus Road a few years ago, possibly against Cardiff. QPR played a young Irish forward called Smyth. He could only have been five foot two and at a corner he stood by the near post and as the ball came over the Cardiff defender literally picked him up with both hands, so Smith was horizontal, and then dropped him on the ground - nothing was given! Smyth had the last laugh as he scored in the second half. I think it was his only ever goal for the first team.”
Morgan Matters
RU: someone with the daft name of Jac Morgan (I kid you not) will start in the back row for Wales against Ireland on Saturday.
Sam Curran has been fined and had one demerit point added to his disciplinary record for his celebration after dismissing SA capt T Bavuma in Sunday's 2nd ODI. He has been docked 15% of his match fee and has incurred a demerit point. He violated ICC's code of conduct by excessively celebrating the wicket in close proximity to the dismissed batter.
Leicestershire have signed Indian batter Ajinkya Rahane who will join up in June and be available for 8 Championship matches and all of the One Day Cup. Surrey have re-signed WI white ball specialist Sunil Narine for the 2023 Blast. Sussex have signed Oz pace-bowling allrounder Nathan McAndrew for the first half of the 2023 season. Lancashire have signed NZ internationals Daryl Mitchell and Colin de Grandhomme for the 2023 season.
Thanks for Googlies 242: I do not think you would have been at Loftus Road on Boxing Day 1963 as Rs were actually away to Bristol City that day! Nice to see praise for Googlies from Steve Thompson and I am claiming a little credit myself as one of your "small team of excellent regular monthly contributors"!
The World Test Championship final will be held at the Oval between 7 and 11 June. The four teams competing for a place in the final are Australia, India, Sri Lanka and South Africa.
Rs lost 1-2 at home to Millwall, which was their first win at the Bush for 34 years. Rs are without a win in 9 matches, have won only one of their last 16 and only one since N Critchley took over as head coach. They are 10 points clear of the relegation places but have played a game more than most. I have been looking at the Premier League table (only an occasional pastime for me) and was slightly surprised to see that London clubs occupy 1st (Arsenal), 5th (Spurs), 7th (Fulham), 8th (Brentford), 9th (Chelsea), 12th (Crystal Palace) and 16th (West Ham) positions in the table.
Eoin Morgan has retired from all cricket aged 36. He played 16 Tests, but captained England in a record 126 ODIs and 72 T20s. He is England's leading run scorer in ODIs (6,957) and is second to Jos Buttler in the T20 standings. He is being called "an immortal of English sport". He will now work as a commentator and pundit.
Rs lost 0-3 at home to Sunderland and are 10 points off the relegation places having played 2 games more than most.
Temba Bavuma has replaced Dean Elgar as SA Test captain.
A Nighthawk is "England's novel new take on the nightwatchman". The Nighthawk is a lower order batter sent up the order (eg Stuart Broad) to swing for the fences in an attempt to disorient opponents, add a few runs and keep England on the front foot. B McCullum is getting the credit for coming up with the idea.
Rs have sacked Neil Critchley as head coach and assistants Ian Brunskill and Mike Garrity have gone with him. There was one solitary win in 12 games under their management. Chief executive Lee Hoos said “it is hugely disappointing to have to make such a decision so early into Neil’s tenure... and we would like to acknowledge his superb work ethic and professionalism throughout... he is a fantastic man”.
The March Cricketer tells us:
that Michael Vaughan looks set to be the only person charged by the ECB in connection with allegations of racism at Yorks who is prepared to defend himself in person;
"cricket's wittiest writer" (that's Martin Johnson formerly of the Independent) was remembered by a booze-up at the Prince Alfred in Warwick Avenue, central London;
Australia withdrew from an ODI series v Afghanistan in protest about the Taliban further restricting education for women and girls;
Neil Killeen is the new England elite fast bowling coach;
Gary Ballance became the second man (after Kepler Wessels) to hit Test centuries for two nations with 137* for Zimbabwe v West Indies at Bulawayo;
Mike Selvey tells us that "to kit out a junior the minimum spend is more than £200, a top-end junior bat costs £500";
Ed Warner was very surprised "at the lack of emphasis on sporting success, especially for Middlesex men's elite squad";
Melinda Farrell tells us that Sam Curran may not be in the Test team, "but his white ball performances have catapulted him into the multi-millionaire league";
Vic Marks tells us that "the big three" (I think he means England, Australia and India) must give up some of their riches to save Test cricket otherwise players will "keep choosing the franchise route"; similarly, Gary Kirsten is gloomy about the future of Test cricket and says that "the Big Three must help South Africa";
Duncan Hamilton fears that "the post-internet generation will be the last to find cricket's history appealing";
South African "great" Hashim Amla has retired from professional cricket after two decades that featured 34,104 runs in all formats, 28 Test hundreds in 124 appearances and another 27 in ODIs;
We find out that Ian Pont "had an enjoyable time at Essex with brother Keith, has coached teams all over the world, written a fast-bowling 'bible', shone at baseball and javelin and now sings in a Spandau Ballet tribute band”.
Rs are apparently hoping to appoint Gareth Ainsworth (he is an ex-Rs man now at High Wycombe) as the new manager. Ainsworth is, indeed, the new Rs manager on a three and a half year deal and he is joined by his assistant Richard Dobson and analyst Josh Hart.
England's leading wicket taker, 40-year-old J Anderson (682 Test wickets), has returned to the top of the ICC's Test bowling rankings. He is 40 years and 207 days old and is the oldest bowler to top the rankings since Clarrie Grimmett in 1936. His 682 wickets puts him third on the all-time list behind Muralitheran and Warne.
Somerset have signed NZ fast bowler Matt Henry for half of the 2123 season.
John Motson is dead aged 77.
John Jackson
Terry Hunt sent me the following
I was saddened to hear of the death of John Jackson. I was in the same intake to SCD in 1954 as “Jacko” and played in the same side as him from U12s to 1st XI. He always was an excellent keeper and allowed the team in front of him to play with freedom. However, he did have one weakness – he was flat-footed and was susceptible to lobs. I remember at Easter 1961 playing in the same side as him for Old Danes 2nd XI against Uxonians at the old Kensington & Chelsea Playing Fields, by the A40 at Northolt. As a result of a muddy pitch having been traversed by a tractor just before the weather changed from rain to sunshine, it was like corrugated iron – you could actually roll the ball along a groove and watch it bobble while it stayed in that groove. By contrast, the next time that I saw him, in January 1965, he was playing in goal for Palace at Plymouth Argyle in the old Division 2 (I was a student at Exeter at the time).
I attach a photo of the U12s in November 1954. Back row: Ray Atkinson, Richard Cork, Parker, John Jackson, Vic Stone, Tony Pickering, Dave Allen. Front row: Terry Hunt, ‘Mole’ Martin, Derek Jones, Andrew Paterson, Bill Wake.
I replied: I remember Tony Pickering who I believe had a brother and Andy Patterson.
Terry: Tony’s elder brother was John, who played soccer and cricket. I have a recollection of him playing for Finchley, but I don’t know which sport that was. Tony is still the record goal-scorer of Hanwell Town FC. Their father was captain of a Turnham Green cricket team which played at Chiswick House, including a match with Middlesex every year; on one occasion I remember Brian Johnston was present. I went to infant, junior and grammar school with Andy Paterson, and junior and grammar school with Tony Pickering.
Jackson, who was in 6 Economics, was offered a place at Christs College, Cambridge, together with Ken Clarke; in those days, it was mandatory that one had to pass O Level Latin to go to Cambridge. So, Jacko spent a whole year studying only Latin. He failed! So, he became a professional footballer instead. Arthur Rowe, the Palace manager, had been pursuing him for years.
The Haka
The professor has been experiencing all the local traditions on his trip
I have never really seen the point of the Haka as a prelude to a rugby match - all that pulling funny faces and sticking your young out seems, well, a bit silly really. I’ve also never understood why the opposing players stand there and watch, rather than doing something more productive, like practicing a few passes. Oh I know it’s supposed to be disrespectful to not pay attention, but I gather that the words of the Haka (lyrics?) might themselves display some lack of respect for the opposition.
In between Test matches I caught the start of a rugby league match between two teams who both did the Haka. The sides were the Mauri All Stars and the Indigenous Invincibles (or somesuch).
They each lined up and did all the gestures and sticking out of tongues in turn, the one waiting patiently for the other to finish. Neither side was alone, each had a back-up of about a dozen “traditionally dressed” warriors all carrying long spears and cudgels (useful accoutrements, I should have thought, in a game of rugby league). The back-up boys did a bit of Haka as well, and they all advanced towards each other so that in the end both sides were face to face, in a line across the pitch, screaming abuse (presumably) and sticking out tongues. Then, at an unseen signal, they all stopped, shook hands and rubbed noses.
As I said, a very odd tradition.
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