GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 74
February 2009
I can only applaud the ECB for not bowing down to the demands of their recently appointed captain. The unexpected thing is that they were prepared to give themselves all sorts of problems going forward to make the right stand. I suppose that it was made easier for them in that he had not been an outstanding success in the job. If they had won the Stanford millions and thrashed India in both ODIs and tests the position might have been different. I was also surprised to hear that he didn’t have the support of the team. This is not the impression that the media have been giving since his appointment; at least they haven’t been suggesting the opposite.
The King Cricket website directed me to the following article in the Daily Mail by Des Kelly:
“It has been hilarious to hear how Kevin Pietersen will set aside the crushing humiliation of the last few days to give his all for England and the new captain Andrew Strauss. For if we have learned anything from this all-too-predictable debacle, it is that this grotesquely egotistical character will continue to give 110 per cent, or whatever misplaced cliche he comes up with over the weekend, for precisely the same cause that has always been his one true motivation. Himself. That is how it is on Planet Pietersen. It’s a me-me-me world where all the mirrors are scarred by love bites and every song Carly Simon sings is most certainly about him, no probably about it.
That is why the South African import was such a catastrophic choice as captain. That is why he was never going to lead the dressing room in any genuine fashion. The poor deluded soul believed he was popular. I also imagine he thinks hubris is the stuff you dip pitta bread into. How else do you explain his decision to sit on a safari holiday and dispatch messages to the ECB demanding which coaching staff should be hired and fired? Pietersen simply assumed the players would follow him, whatever he said, whatever he did. He was so genuinely besotted with himself he did not consider that others might be slightly less enraptured with his personality and his methods. And he was spectacularly wrong.
As a batsman, it doesn’t matter if he is liked or not. Who cares? His ego, any selfish traits, his determination to stay aloof could all be accommodated, encouraged even. But as I said when he was appointed he was never going to succeed as a skipper. All the media-trained babbling and the ‘I’m a nice guy now’ routine was sure to fall away soon enough. As it turned out, it took just three Tests for it to happen. Now it emerges that most of the team can’t really stand him either, which is something we all suspected anyway. Can you imagine the expression on Freddie Flintoff’s face every time Pietersen described the England players as ‘my boys’ or ‘the boys’?
On the fateful day he was ousted, Pietersen issued a statement that opened by complaining that he hadn’t resigned in the morning, but in the evening. How illuminating. As the game fell on to its grass-stained backside, Pietersen thought the most important important misunderstanding of the day was the exact time when he decided to jump before he was pushed. The question now is how will Pietersen slip back into the rank and file as the squad heads for the West Indies, knowing that Flintoff, Strauss and others view him with such little respect? Now we’ll find out if that unconvincing Three Lions tattoo on Pietersen’s arm actually means something, or if it’s just another bout of vain posturing.”
I found myself in much sympathy with the writer but Alex at King Cricket went on to add: “This explains our position better that we ever could - by being exactly wrong about absolutely everything. It might just be the worst piece of journalism we’ve ever encountered. It’s hateful and bigoted, with the entire piece based on prejudice built on assumption built on prejudice built on assumption. What facts appear (and there are incredibly few) are misrepresented and embellished. We’ll go further and say that it’s everything that’s wrong with humanity: more information is being expelled by the writer than has been taken in beforehand. The shortfall is made up with knee-jerk loathing and assumption of the worst in a person.”
Lord Ray sent me this:
As you may imagine, I have managed to cope fairly well with the grief felt at the removal of an England captain. What I continue to find curious is that the PPS's innings in the Ashes series at the Oval is hailed as a wonderful achievment. Nobody seems to recall that 99 times out of 100 it would have been over when he had scored 20 or 30 at most, and Warne of all people dropped a simple catch at slip. It was sheer luck, not genius on the part of the PPS. I note too that more was made of his one proper innings in a Test when the series had gone than the praise given to Strauss for two tons made - unattractively, perhaps - when he had been largely out of form and certainly short of practice. Yet again, the PPS showed that he is better at making runs when the going is easy or the pressure is no longer there than when the chips are down.
Charlie Puckett added
It is a thousand pities that KP never got to captain Peter Ray on the cricket field - I would have sold tickets and umpired the match myself for free!
And then he sent me this:
Another quote to cheer the old boy up in this cold, hard winter we are enduring. This is from the Wisden Cricketer online newsletter. How does KP overcome his enforced resignation? During the friendly against St Kitts, he explained. “I talked to the leg-spinner about his field. It's harsh when you're trying your hardest and you don't have the field you should have ... I try to make it harder for myself." That's how he does it - he captains the opposition. Fortunately the flightless bird from the Southern Ocean would never have taunted his opponents in such a manner!
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this:
I have to side with Mooresy in the row with KP. His record is not great, but we cannot have captains getting their own way as a result of throwing their toys out of the pram. I doubt that KP knows all there is to know about international cricket, that is why a senior coach and an experienced selection panel is in place above him. The captain lets the selectors know what he thinks, but they have every right to follow a different route if they feel it is appropriate. Morris should emphasise the powers of the coach and selectors and tell KP to get on with it or resign.
Blimey! Even if Mooresy deserved the axe (not convinced, actually) I don't agree with sacking him at this stage because it looks as if KP has won. Pietersen remains in the squad as a player and (who knows, if he hangs around long enough?) might even get another crack at the captaincy, but Moores will certainly not get another go at the England coach's job. I do not agree either with those who are saying that this upheaval is disastrous in an Ashes year because i) it sounds as if the dressing room will now be much more harmonious; ii) Straussy is probably a better bet as captain than KP; and iii) if a new coach was needed, it is far better to search for one now than to try to find one in mid-summer. I saw Ed Smith (looking for a new career?) discussing the situation on television last night with Paxman and McLaurin and he was rather less impressive than one would have hoped; he stumbled and "you knowed" as much as mere mortals do. People try to judge cricket coaches in the same way that football managers are judged, but it is not the same situation at all. The football manager picks the team and the coaches, devises the strategy and makes any changes necessary to tactics and personnel both during the match and off the pitch. He is therefore rightly assessed on the team's record. The England cricket coach, however, is one of four selectors (though Uncle Dunc had pretty much total control over selection, I do not believe that Mooresy did) and has no control over what tactics are employed on the pitch as this has to be left in the hands of the captain.
I am even less convinced that Mooresy should have been sacked now that we have heard that a group of senior players led by F Flintoff preferred his methods to those of KP. We are also hearing that KP also tried to get rid of Andy Flower even though they were supposed to be pals and that there will be no head coach on the WI tour. I cannot help feeling that they would have been better off leaving Mooresy in place.
Now we hear that KP was asked by the ECB for a strategy for the year in order to win the Ashes etc including names of those he wanted involved and those he did not, which is a totally different situation to the one that I had believed to exist. It now looks as if both KP and Mooresy were hastily jettisoned as some sort of knee jerk reaction after KP's e-mail was leaked. I now believe that KP should not have been sacked at all (he did not resign apparently); Mooresy should not have been sacked until KP's recommendations had been thoroughly studied, discussed and agreed by all the powers involved; and whoever leaked the e-mail should have been sacked immediately.
Black and White Wash
I sent this to the Great Jack Morgan: “If England lose all their games in the West Indies we will have to refer to a black and white wash. Extraordinarily the WIs are including a white guy, Brendon Nash, in their current sides. I have been trying to remember who the last was and keep coming back to Joey Carew, but he was a sort of half caste I seem to recall. I wonder how he was able to rise through the black sides to get this far? Or is there a sort of reverse South Africa thing going on in which they have to pick some white guys?”
He replied: “The West Indies had a white keeper called Allan who played in the sixties (and later became a trainer or physio, I believe) and he might have been the last (assuming Carew and other light skinned chaps were not actually white), before him it would be John Goddard or someone from the fifties wouldn't it? I have heard that WI cricket is surprisingly similar to apartheid in that the whites play for white clubs and the blacks play for black clubs. The difference is that there are no actual rules saying that this has to be the case and it is still possible for chaps like Nash to come through, though the white clubs are not necessarily trying to get players into the WI team, they are more social cricketers with the blazer, cravat and g & t attitude of the old colonials. I am sure there are no quotas. Brendan Nash is 31 and is actually an Australian who had fielded 12th man for Oz. He played six seasons for Queensland, but lost his contract with them in 2007 and so decided to try his luck with Jamaica, whom his father had represented as an Olympic swimmer, and won selection for WI within a year. We both forgot about Geoff Greenidge, who was the last white man to play a test for WI in 1973.”
Uffs Matters
Paddy Carlin sent the following cutting from the 1973 edition of the AFA Record:
Sadly Ken Fletcher and John Ducker are no longer with us. But five other members of the side are readers of this august journal. Come to think of it, it is just as well that being an old boy of the school wasn’t a prerequisite qualification for playing in the side. As a result later in that same decade George and I turned out for the Mighty Uffs Fifths under the guidance and leadership of the only survivor of this victorious side, Ken James.
Ashes Matters
The following are extracted from my emails to the Great Jack Morgan over recent weeks
Sean Marsh seems to be the favoured son (sic) as far as openers go. At least he is getting the job in the South Africa ODIs. He is opening with a guy called Warner who made an instant hit in the 20/20 internationals. The extraordinary thing is that this chap has yet to play a first class match. I suppose that Malan almost came into this category. The Australian ODI side is starting to look significantly different from the test side, partly, admittedly, due to injuries to Clarke and Lee and possibly Jaques. It is making it harder to identify who will be coming to England. The tour party to Sa will start to sort it out but they may opt for ODI specialists again which will leave a large number of potential tourists.
Now that Moores has disappeared who are the selectors? And where will their loyalties/favouritisms lie? For example I understood that Harmison made his unexpected and unearned return on the back of KP. Does this now mean that he won’t feature again? Does Owais get closer to or further away from selection as a result of all this?
I suspect that part of the Moores problem is that these roles are not fully defined. What was he supposed to do? And why did he need batting, bowling and fielding coaches alongside him? And who picks the squads and then the teams? If you are good enough to play for England why do you suddenly need all this coaching? Perhaps he was there just to devise the ridiculous warm up exercises before play began. If so anyone who happens to be on the ground early enough could do that. Actually it must be quite difficult for a new non contracted player to join up with the bunch of layabouts who form the backbone of the squad. When Harmison came back into the fold last summer, he arrived with a stack of wickets under his belt and was said to be enjoying his cricket with Durham. Back on the Easy Bus he soon became disillusioned and unmotivated.
I was away when the WI tour squads were announced and am surprised looking back that they picked three spinners. I find myself increasingly comfortable with the idea of playing Rashid. I expect though that he is only going for the experience since Monty will be persevered with until he has a good day and that will cement his place. A bit like Bell and Collingwood. The day Owais gets picked again he will have to score really big. I was there at Lords when he got his last chance and was the sole failure when everyone else scored hundreds.
I don’t see how they could have picked Peg Leg. His lack of interest in playing cricket is extraordinary in one who professes to want to play. He could have gone off to somewhere and piled up a ton of runs and demonstrated that he was up for it. All we got was the same old crap that he had had a net and got his enthusiasm back. Surely no one buys that any more?
The Aussies seem to be rallying at present albeit with a strange bunch of names in their side. There is still a lot of tough matches for them to negotiate in both forms before they come to England. The general feeling is that Hayden won’t make the cut which would leave Katich and Jaques to open. These two are reasonably experienced and could probably do the job although against Flintoff both being left handed is probably not a plus. There is always the option to move Hussey up the order which gives more options with the miscellaneous all rounders in the middle order. The other option is to bring in Rogers or even one of the younger guys such as Marsh. The batting overall should take care of itself. Ponting is back in the runs and Clarke is looking an established run scoring test player these days.
The problem is who is going to bowl? The selectors seem to have no more idea than you or I. They have tried various unknowns who have produced no special results. Lee is bound to come regardless of form and Mitchell Johnson seems to have cemented his place, not least because he seems to be able to bat at eight. You and I are both amazed that Clark seems to have fallen out of favour and other names are being tried such as Siddell and Bollinger. I still think that Bracken is one of their best seamers, although his lack of raw pace since to confine him to ODIs. Talking of raw pace Tate played in the 20/20 this weekend and impressed the commentators despite being wicketless and going for ten an over! They will need to sort out their attack and get them settled before July. They must be pleased that Haddin got his big runs recently as that will nail his place for the foreseeable future.
I suspect that there will be extreme reluctance to dispense with Panesar and the longer he is persevered with the more likely he is to have a good day which will keep him in the side. However, I have big doubts about him as a cricketer and, as you saw in Googlies , I got the Prof’s agreement. The Prof and I saw Rashid have a long bowl at OT last year and although he didn’t go through the Lancashire batting he was tidy and picked up four wickets. Being a leg spinner is an enormous advantage as opposed to a finger spinner and I think that I would advocate giving him a run as soon as possible. He can clearly bat and that gives him another plus over Panesar. This gives the side more options without adding to the enormous tail. No English seamers seem able to bat a bit unless they are Botham or Flintoff. I haven’t mentioned Swann but I don’t think that he is the stuff of test cricket and only mercurial off spinners, Murali, will do it at this level. The England camp will be delighted if Krejke is selected as first spinner for the Ashes.
The Great Jack Morgan replied
Monty might cease to be an automatic choice, but I do not see him disappearing from the squad purely because of the lack of alternatives. Broady can bat, while Jimmy and Sidey can defend OK. I agree that Swanny is not quite a Test player, but he can do a job in ODIs and will stay around the squad, again because of the lack of competition. You must have three spinners on the sub-continent (though not necessarily in the West Indies, unless the wickets have changed) according to my logic and you saw that my recent attempt to suggest alternatives did not come up with much. So Monty, Swanny and Rashid are the top three unless Keedy or Batty can mount a challenge. You might be right about Jason Krejza, but their only alternative appears to be Nathan Hauritz, whom they have tried and rejected more than once. Otherwise it's back to the Nick Reed plan of using White, Clarke, Katich et al, not exactly a success in India.
George seems to be spending his retirement on bookies’ websites and regularly sends me the long forecast odds for this year’s Ashes. He emailed me this recently:
“England’s odds have shortened since my last update! It seems to be a case of which side is getting worse faster.”
Quiz
Thames Valley Gentlemen Matters
Amongst the pamphlets and booklets that Mary Hancock passed to me last year was the 1979 yearbook of the Thames Valley Gentlemen CC. The club had been founded in 1968 by Michael Welch and David Dandridge who at the time were both members of Teddington CC. This booklet rather strangely documented the club’s 1975 Kent tour. Since many of the participants are familiar to Googlies readers I thought that you might be interested in some extracts although the author is not credited:
“Two Australians, Peter Whatmore and Michael York, were in the tour party. We did not cover ourselves with glory against Holmesdale who scored 212 for 9, despite Terry Harris’ 5 for 43. TVGs responded with 168 for 9 with only Peter Whatmore, 51, and Graham Pauncefort (wearing an MCC cap), 21 not out batting well. The Mote game was our big match of the week. David Colebeck set a fine example by batting superbly for 84 although the middle order collapsed badly. Michael York, 51 not out, and Chris Brown, 33 not out, shared a fine unbroken stand of 66 which enabled us to declare at 188 for 6. The Mote never looked like scoring the runs but held on for a draw with one wicket remaining.
A close and exciting game followed against Ashford. Batting first TVGs were given a good start by the Brentham pair Roger Kingdon, 34, and John Overy, 35, who put on 73 in 46 minutes. The tempo was maintained by Peter Whatmore, 78 not out, and David Jukes, 42, and the declaration came after only 37 overs with the score 234 for 4. A marathon spell of bowling by Simon Reed, who took 5 for 74, paved the way for victory which came in the last over by just six runs.
We were absolutely trounced by Marden on Friday. Most of the batsmen got out when they should have been set and we declared at 183 for 9 with Roger Kingdon top scoring with 41. Marden reached their target from only 29 overs for the loss of two wickets.”
Carlin Matters
Paddy Carlin sent me this
I recently attended in Adelaide the test match between the old enemy and New Zealand. The comparisons are far from favourable to Lord’s.
Pink Matters
Tim Mansfield sent me the following from the Sydney Morning Herald
The objective of the McGrath Foundation's campaign during this Test has been to fund breast-care nurses, described by Jane McGrath as some of the most important people in the recovery from breast cancer. It costs the foundation $350,000 to hire a nurse over three years - and they can now afford one after more than $400,000 was raised by yesterday. One nurse is far from enough, though, and the public is urged to continue donating via mcgrathfoundation.com.au.
He then added
Now at the risk of being called a curmudgeon this warrants some comment. Watching from afar one cannot but have been moved by the dignified approach of Glenn McGrath and his determination that his wife's death should have a positive outcome for others. Truly laudable. Equally moving has been the sight of so many at the Sydney Cricket ground bedecked in pink. But then you ask how much has been raised. Even with the pathetic current value of the pound $400,000(Au) only equates to £193,211.86. Now the crowd for the first four days must have aggregated some 120,000. So even if there was no contribution from corporate sponsors, the players and their hangers on, the commentary team etc., the TV company and its viewers, the average spectator donated a £1.50. Frankly this is pathetic and, as a proud Lancastrian, I would have been disappointed if the Tykes could not raise a bigger sum if the hat was passed around at Headingley.
I pointed out to Tim that, nevertheless, this is several times as much as Middlesex raised in a season of wearing pink.
Rangers Matters
Geoff Adams sent me the following
You have recently re-enforced my view that it is better to worship one’s heroes from afar! I must tell you that I was born in Hammersmith in 1943 and passed the eleven plus examination and qualified for a scholarship at St Pauls School but my parents felt that this was above their means and they decided to send me to St Clement Danes instead. I only discovered this 8 years ago from a cousin. I notice that you are a QPR supporter, and my grandson Ronnie Aston continues the tradition, see pic attached. As a youngster living in Hammersmith, we used to watch Fulham one week and Chelsea the next. But from our house in Iffley Road we could hear the crowd chanting at Loftus Road , Oh Rodney ,Rodney, Rodney , Rodney, Rodney Rodney, Rodney , Marsh !
Wynne Sharp
My Mum died last week. She had known some readers since they were in short trousers. She met others of you through the sixties and seventies on miscellaneous windy grounds and various pavilions. She performed in each of the six South Hampstead revues in the seventies and early eighties. She thoroughly enjoyed seeing so many familiar faces at the South Hampstead Re-union in 2004 and the Old Danes’ Gatherings in 2007 and 2008. She was 87.
Football Matters
As I reported in the last edition Kelvin West took Andrew Baker’s Ladies Team off to the Caribbean for a well earned break over Christmas. What Andrew didn’t know was that Kelvin had entered them in a nude beach Football competition. As soon as they arrived he had them strip off and he divided them into two teams. Along with some of his old chums from Brentham he then set about kitting them out in paint. Here are the two sides, daubed and ready for action:
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 74
February 2009
- Peter Moores: Well we both went down together.
- KP: I can now see that being a nice chap, team player, responsible leader and all round good bloke gets you nowhere. From now on I am going to concentrate on myself.
- KP: I’ve had to put the planned tattoo on my right shoulder on hold.
- Rod Bransgrove: Does all this mean that we will be seeing more of you at the Rose Bowl?
- KP: See you at the IPL
I can only applaud the ECB for not bowing down to the demands of their recently appointed captain. The unexpected thing is that they were prepared to give themselves all sorts of problems going forward to make the right stand. I suppose that it was made easier for them in that he had not been an outstanding success in the job. If they had won the Stanford millions and thrashed India in both ODIs and tests the position might have been different. I was also surprised to hear that he didn’t have the support of the team. This is not the impression that the media have been giving since his appointment; at least they haven’t been suggesting the opposite.
The King Cricket website directed me to the following article in the Daily Mail by Des Kelly:
“It has been hilarious to hear how Kevin Pietersen will set aside the crushing humiliation of the last few days to give his all for England and the new captain Andrew Strauss. For if we have learned anything from this all-too-predictable debacle, it is that this grotesquely egotistical character will continue to give 110 per cent, or whatever misplaced cliche he comes up with over the weekend, for precisely the same cause that has always been his one true motivation. Himself. That is how it is on Planet Pietersen. It’s a me-me-me world where all the mirrors are scarred by love bites and every song Carly Simon sings is most certainly about him, no probably about it.
That is why the South African import was such a catastrophic choice as captain. That is why he was never going to lead the dressing room in any genuine fashion. The poor deluded soul believed he was popular. I also imagine he thinks hubris is the stuff you dip pitta bread into. How else do you explain his decision to sit on a safari holiday and dispatch messages to the ECB demanding which coaching staff should be hired and fired? Pietersen simply assumed the players would follow him, whatever he said, whatever he did. He was so genuinely besotted with himself he did not consider that others might be slightly less enraptured with his personality and his methods. And he was spectacularly wrong.
As a batsman, it doesn’t matter if he is liked or not. Who cares? His ego, any selfish traits, his determination to stay aloof could all be accommodated, encouraged even. But as I said when he was appointed he was never going to succeed as a skipper. All the media-trained babbling and the ‘I’m a nice guy now’ routine was sure to fall away soon enough. As it turned out, it took just three Tests for it to happen. Now it emerges that most of the team can’t really stand him either, which is something we all suspected anyway. Can you imagine the expression on Freddie Flintoff’s face every time Pietersen described the England players as ‘my boys’ or ‘the boys’?
On the fateful day he was ousted, Pietersen issued a statement that opened by complaining that he hadn’t resigned in the morning, but in the evening. How illuminating. As the game fell on to its grass-stained backside, Pietersen thought the most important important misunderstanding of the day was the exact time when he decided to jump before he was pushed. The question now is how will Pietersen slip back into the rank and file as the squad heads for the West Indies, knowing that Flintoff, Strauss and others view him with such little respect? Now we’ll find out if that unconvincing Three Lions tattoo on Pietersen’s arm actually means something, or if it’s just another bout of vain posturing.”
I found myself in much sympathy with the writer but Alex at King Cricket went on to add: “This explains our position better that we ever could - by being exactly wrong about absolutely everything. It might just be the worst piece of journalism we’ve ever encountered. It’s hateful and bigoted, with the entire piece based on prejudice built on assumption built on prejudice built on assumption. What facts appear (and there are incredibly few) are misrepresented and embellished. We’ll go further and say that it’s everything that’s wrong with humanity: more information is being expelled by the writer than has been taken in beforehand. The shortfall is made up with knee-jerk loathing and assumption of the worst in a person.”
Lord Ray sent me this:
As you may imagine, I have managed to cope fairly well with the grief felt at the removal of an England captain. What I continue to find curious is that the PPS's innings in the Ashes series at the Oval is hailed as a wonderful achievment. Nobody seems to recall that 99 times out of 100 it would have been over when he had scored 20 or 30 at most, and Warne of all people dropped a simple catch at slip. It was sheer luck, not genius on the part of the PPS. I note too that more was made of his one proper innings in a Test when the series had gone than the praise given to Strauss for two tons made - unattractively, perhaps - when he had been largely out of form and certainly short of practice. Yet again, the PPS showed that he is better at making runs when the going is easy or the pressure is no longer there than when the chips are down.
Charlie Puckett added
It is a thousand pities that KP never got to captain Peter Ray on the cricket field - I would have sold tickets and umpired the match myself for free!
And then he sent me this:
Another quote to cheer the old boy up in this cold, hard winter we are enduring. This is from the Wisden Cricketer online newsletter. How does KP overcome his enforced resignation? During the friendly against St Kitts, he explained. “I talked to the leg-spinner about his field. It's harsh when you're trying your hardest and you don't have the field you should have ... I try to make it harder for myself." That's how he does it - he captains the opposition. Fortunately the flightless bird from the Southern Ocean would never have taunted his opponents in such a manner!
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this:
I have to side with Mooresy in the row with KP. His record is not great, but we cannot have captains getting their own way as a result of throwing their toys out of the pram. I doubt that KP knows all there is to know about international cricket, that is why a senior coach and an experienced selection panel is in place above him. The captain lets the selectors know what he thinks, but they have every right to follow a different route if they feel it is appropriate. Morris should emphasise the powers of the coach and selectors and tell KP to get on with it or resign.
Blimey! Even if Mooresy deserved the axe (not convinced, actually) I don't agree with sacking him at this stage because it looks as if KP has won. Pietersen remains in the squad as a player and (who knows, if he hangs around long enough?) might even get another crack at the captaincy, but Moores will certainly not get another go at the England coach's job. I do not agree either with those who are saying that this upheaval is disastrous in an Ashes year because i) it sounds as if the dressing room will now be much more harmonious; ii) Straussy is probably a better bet as captain than KP; and iii) if a new coach was needed, it is far better to search for one now than to try to find one in mid-summer. I saw Ed Smith (looking for a new career?) discussing the situation on television last night with Paxman and McLaurin and he was rather less impressive than one would have hoped; he stumbled and "you knowed" as much as mere mortals do. People try to judge cricket coaches in the same way that football managers are judged, but it is not the same situation at all. The football manager picks the team and the coaches, devises the strategy and makes any changes necessary to tactics and personnel both during the match and off the pitch. He is therefore rightly assessed on the team's record. The England cricket coach, however, is one of four selectors (though Uncle Dunc had pretty much total control over selection, I do not believe that Mooresy did) and has no control over what tactics are employed on the pitch as this has to be left in the hands of the captain.
I am even less convinced that Mooresy should have been sacked now that we have heard that a group of senior players led by F Flintoff preferred his methods to those of KP. We are also hearing that KP also tried to get rid of Andy Flower even though they were supposed to be pals and that there will be no head coach on the WI tour. I cannot help feeling that they would have been better off leaving Mooresy in place.
Now we hear that KP was asked by the ECB for a strategy for the year in order to win the Ashes etc including names of those he wanted involved and those he did not, which is a totally different situation to the one that I had believed to exist. It now looks as if both KP and Mooresy were hastily jettisoned as some sort of knee jerk reaction after KP's e-mail was leaked. I now believe that KP should not have been sacked at all (he did not resign apparently); Mooresy should not have been sacked until KP's recommendations had been thoroughly studied, discussed and agreed by all the powers involved; and whoever leaked the e-mail should have been sacked immediately.
Black and White Wash
I sent this to the Great Jack Morgan: “If England lose all their games in the West Indies we will have to refer to a black and white wash. Extraordinarily the WIs are including a white guy, Brendon Nash, in their current sides. I have been trying to remember who the last was and keep coming back to Joey Carew, but he was a sort of half caste I seem to recall. I wonder how he was able to rise through the black sides to get this far? Or is there a sort of reverse South Africa thing going on in which they have to pick some white guys?”
He replied: “The West Indies had a white keeper called Allan who played in the sixties (and later became a trainer or physio, I believe) and he might have been the last (assuming Carew and other light skinned chaps were not actually white), before him it would be John Goddard or someone from the fifties wouldn't it? I have heard that WI cricket is surprisingly similar to apartheid in that the whites play for white clubs and the blacks play for black clubs. The difference is that there are no actual rules saying that this has to be the case and it is still possible for chaps like Nash to come through, though the white clubs are not necessarily trying to get players into the WI team, they are more social cricketers with the blazer, cravat and g & t attitude of the old colonials. I am sure there are no quotas. Brendan Nash is 31 and is actually an Australian who had fielded 12th man for Oz. He played six seasons for Queensland, but lost his contract with them in 2007 and so decided to try his luck with Jamaica, whom his father had represented as an Olympic swimmer, and won selection for WI within a year. We both forgot about Geoff Greenidge, who was the last white man to play a test for WI in 1973.”
Uffs Matters
Paddy Carlin sent the following cutting from the 1973 edition of the AFA Record:
Sadly Ken Fletcher and John Ducker are no longer with us. But five other members of the side are readers of this august journal. Come to think of it, it is just as well that being an old boy of the school wasn’t a prerequisite qualification for playing in the side. As a result later in that same decade George and I turned out for the Mighty Uffs Fifths under the guidance and leadership of the only survivor of this victorious side, Ken James.
Ashes Matters
The following are extracted from my emails to the Great Jack Morgan over recent weeks
Sean Marsh seems to be the favoured son (sic) as far as openers go. At least he is getting the job in the South Africa ODIs. He is opening with a guy called Warner who made an instant hit in the 20/20 internationals. The extraordinary thing is that this chap has yet to play a first class match. I suppose that Malan almost came into this category. The Australian ODI side is starting to look significantly different from the test side, partly, admittedly, due to injuries to Clarke and Lee and possibly Jaques. It is making it harder to identify who will be coming to England. The tour party to Sa will start to sort it out but they may opt for ODI specialists again which will leave a large number of potential tourists.
Now that Moores has disappeared who are the selectors? And where will their loyalties/favouritisms lie? For example I understood that Harmison made his unexpected and unearned return on the back of KP. Does this now mean that he won’t feature again? Does Owais get closer to or further away from selection as a result of all this?
I suspect that part of the Moores problem is that these roles are not fully defined. What was he supposed to do? And why did he need batting, bowling and fielding coaches alongside him? And who picks the squads and then the teams? If you are good enough to play for England why do you suddenly need all this coaching? Perhaps he was there just to devise the ridiculous warm up exercises before play began. If so anyone who happens to be on the ground early enough could do that. Actually it must be quite difficult for a new non contracted player to join up with the bunch of layabouts who form the backbone of the squad. When Harmison came back into the fold last summer, he arrived with a stack of wickets under his belt and was said to be enjoying his cricket with Durham. Back on the Easy Bus he soon became disillusioned and unmotivated.
I was away when the WI tour squads were announced and am surprised looking back that they picked three spinners. I find myself increasingly comfortable with the idea of playing Rashid. I expect though that he is only going for the experience since Monty will be persevered with until he has a good day and that will cement his place. A bit like Bell and Collingwood. The day Owais gets picked again he will have to score really big. I was there at Lords when he got his last chance and was the sole failure when everyone else scored hundreds.
I don’t see how they could have picked Peg Leg. His lack of interest in playing cricket is extraordinary in one who professes to want to play. He could have gone off to somewhere and piled up a ton of runs and demonstrated that he was up for it. All we got was the same old crap that he had had a net and got his enthusiasm back. Surely no one buys that any more?
The Aussies seem to be rallying at present albeit with a strange bunch of names in their side. There is still a lot of tough matches for them to negotiate in both forms before they come to England. The general feeling is that Hayden won’t make the cut which would leave Katich and Jaques to open. These two are reasonably experienced and could probably do the job although against Flintoff both being left handed is probably not a plus. There is always the option to move Hussey up the order which gives more options with the miscellaneous all rounders in the middle order. The other option is to bring in Rogers or even one of the younger guys such as Marsh. The batting overall should take care of itself. Ponting is back in the runs and Clarke is looking an established run scoring test player these days.
The problem is who is going to bowl? The selectors seem to have no more idea than you or I. They have tried various unknowns who have produced no special results. Lee is bound to come regardless of form and Mitchell Johnson seems to have cemented his place, not least because he seems to be able to bat at eight. You and I are both amazed that Clark seems to have fallen out of favour and other names are being tried such as Siddell and Bollinger. I still think that Bracken is one of their best seamers, although his lack of raw pace since to confine him to ODIs. Talking of raw pace Tate played in the 20/20 this weekend and impressed the commentators despite being wicketless and going for ten an over! They will need to sort out their attack and get them settled before July. They must be pleased that Haddin got his big runs recently as that will nail his place for the foreseeable future.
I suspect that there will be extreme reluctance to dispense with Panesar and the longer he is persevered with the more likely he is to have a good day which will keep him in the side. However, I have big doubts about him as a cricketer and, as you saw in Googlies , I got the Prof’s agreement. The Prof and I saw Rashid have a long bowl at OT last year and although he didn’t go through the Lancashire batting he was tidy and picked up four wickets. Being a leg spinner is an enormous advantage as opposed to a finger spinner and I think that I would advocate giving him a run as soon as possible. He can clearly bat and that gives him another plus over Panesar. This gives the side more options without adding to the enormous tail. No English seamers seem able to bat a bit unless they are Botham or Flintoff. I haven’t mentioned Swann but I don’t think that he is the stuff of test cricket and only mercurial off spinners, Murali, will do it at this level. The England camp will be delighted if Krejke is selected as first spinner for the Ashes.
The Great Jack Morgan replied
Monty might cease to be an automatic choice, but I do not see him disappearing from the squad purely because of the lack of alternatives. Broady can bat, while Jimmy and Sidey can defend OK. I agree that Swanny is not quite a Test player, but he can do a job in ODIs and will stay around the squad, again because of the lack of competition. You must have three spinners on the sub-continent (though not necessarily in the West Indies, unless the wickets have changed) according to my logic and you saw that my recent attempt to suggest alternatives did not come up with much. So Monty, Swanny and Rashid are the top three unless Keedy or Batty can mount a challenge. You might be right about Jason Krejza, but their only alternative appears to be Nathan Hauritz, whom they have tried and rejected more than once. Otherwise it's back to the Nick Reed plan of using White, Clarke, Katich et al, not exactly a success in India.
George seems to be spending his retirement on bookies’ websites and regularly sends me the long forecast odds for this year’s Ashes. He emailed me this recently:
“England’s odds have shortened since my last update! It seems to be a case of which side is getting worse faster.”
Quiz
- You are arranging a convivial dinner party. Who do you invite?
- Graeme Smith, Andy Flower, Peter Moores and His Wonderfulness
- Arsene Wenger, Alex Ferguson and Rafael Benitez
- Ed Smith and any of his former team mates at Middlesex or Kent
- Can you remember what they did to earn their fifteen minutes of fame?
- Graham Napier
- Dawid Malan
- Ryan Maclaren
- Who is the odd one out?
- Nassar Hussein
- Andrew Flintoff
- His Wonderfulness
- As a Lancashire member you receive a document asking how much you think the membership subs should be next season. You are also asked what should be done to improve the facilities for next season. How do you reply?
- Tell them to scrap their tasteless development plans.
- Suggest they agree to play all home matches on the away team’s ground.
- Wonder why they are asking you what the subs should be.
- Two of the following grounds have been dug up and re-laid over the winter to enable de luxe Lords style drainage to be installed. Which one hasn’t? (this must be a trick question)
- Old Trafford
- Headingley
- The Brit Oval
- You wake up in the sauna and find that Vinny Codrington is sitting next to you. What do you ask him?
- Whether any thought goes into the compilation of the playing staff at Middlesex.
- Whether he agrees that it is good thing that you don’t have to apply for re-election in Division Two of the County Championship.
- What is the optimal number of committee members for a county club.
- You are specially selected by the ECB to act as a highly paid consultant. What recommendations do you make?
- The ending of central contracts since selection becomes predictable and players are selected regardless of form.
- The banning of nonsense statements by any representative of the ECB. They must all understand that international cricketers play too little, not too much cricket and that net practice is no substitute for the real thing.
- Add the minor counties into the county championship as divisions three and four. Club sides can be added below these. Promotion and relegation will ensure the real sharpening of performance.
Thames Valley Gentlemen Matters
Amongst the pamphlets and booklets that Mary Hancock passed to me last year was the 1979 yearbook of the Thames Valley Gentlemen CC. The club had been founded in 1968 by Michael Welch and David Dandridge who at the time were both members of Teddington CC. This booklet rather strangely documented the club’s 1975 Kent tour. Since many of the participants are familiar to Googlies readers I thought that you might be interested in some extracts although the author is not credited:
“Two Australians, Peter Whatmore and Michael York, were in the tour party. We did not cover ourselves with glory against Holmesdale who scored 212 for 9, despite Terry Harris’ 5 for 43. TVGs responded with 168 for 9 with only Peter Whatmore, 51, and Graham Pauncefort (wearing an MCC cap), 21 not out batting well. The Mote game was our big match of the week. David Colebeck set a fine example by batting superbly for 84 although the middle order collapsed badly. Michael York, 51 not out, and Chris Brown, 33 not out, shared a fine unbroken stand of 66 which enabled us to declare at 188 for 6. The Mote never looked like scoring the runs but held on for a draw with one wicket remaining.
A close and exciting game followed against Ashford. Batting first TVGs were given a good start by the Brentham pair Roger Kingdon, 34, and John Overy, 35, who put on 73 in 46 minutes. The tempo was maintained by Peter Whatmore, 78 not out, and David Jukes, 42, and the declaration came after only 37 overs with the score 234 for 4. A marathon spell of bowling by Simon Reed, who took 5 for 74, paved the way for victory which came in the last over by just six runs.
We were absolutely trounced by Marden on Friday. Most of the batsmen got out when they should have been set and we declared at 183 for 9 with Roger Kingdon top scoring with 41. Marden reached their target from only 29 overs for the loss of two wickets.”
Carlin Matters
Paddy Carlin sent me this
I recently attended in Adelaide the test match between the old enemy and New Zealand. The comparisons are far from favourable to Lord’s.
- The cost of admission was £12 compared to Lord’s £75.
- In Adelaide this gave you access to about 50% of the ground including masses of unreserved seating behind the bowler’s arm at both ends. At Lords you get an allocated seat with no option for specific views.
- At Adelaide the average age of a punter is about twenty five, which includes masses of attractive girls and families. There is also a booze free enclosure. At Lords the average age of the blazered majority is about sixty.
- At both the beer was crap but Adelaide had plentiful bar staff and no queues.
- At Adelaide in the tea interval about two hundred youngsters rushed onto the field to play kwik cricket and they were announced as the “future of Australian Cricket”. More like the future of English club cricket’s overseas players I thought.
Pink Matters
Tim Mansfield sent me the following from the Sydney Morning Herald
The objective of the McGrath Foundation's campaign during this Test has been to fund breast-care nurses, described by Jane McGrath as some of the most important people in the recovery from breast cancer. It costs the foundation $350,000 to hire a nurse over three years - and they can now afford one after more than $400,000 was raised by yesterday. One nurse is far from enough, though, and the public is urged to continue donating via mcgrathfoundation.com.au.
He then added
Now at the risk of being called a curmudgeon this warrants some comment. Watching from afar one cannot but have been moved by the dignified approach of Glenn McGrath and his determination that his wife's death should have a positive outcome for others. Truly laudable. Equally moving has been the sight of so many at the Sydney Cricket ground bedecked in pink. But then you ask how much has been raised. Even with the pathetic current value of the pound $400,000(Au) only equates to £193,211.86. Now the crowd for the first four days must have aggregated some 120,000. So even if there was no contribution from corporate sponsors, the players and their hangers on, the commentary team etc., the TV company and its viewers, the average spectator donated a £1.50. Frankly this is pathetic and, as a proud Lancastrian, I would have been disappointed if the Tykes could not raise a bigger sum if the hat was passed around at Headingley.
I pointed out to Tim that, nevertheless, this is several times as much as Middlesex raised in a season of wearing pink.
Rangers Matters
Geoff Adams sent me the following
You have recently re-enforced my view that it is better to worship one’s heroes from afar! I must tell you that I was born in Hammersmith in 1943 and passed the eleven plus examination and qualified for a scholarship at St Pauls School but my parents felt that this was above their means and they decided to send me to St Clement Danes instead. I only discovered this 8 years ago from a cousin. I notice that you are a QPR supporter, and my grandson Ronnie Aston continues the tradition, see pic attached. As a youngster living in Hammersmith, we used to watch Fulham one week and Chelsea the next. But from our house in Iffley Road we could hear the crowd chanting at Loftus Road , Oh Rodney ,Rodney, Rodney , Rodney, Rodney Rodney, Rodney , Marsh !
Wynne Sharp
My Mum died last week. She had known some readers since they were in short trousers. She met others of you through the sixties and seventies on miscellaneous windy grounds and various pavilions. She performed in each of the six South Hampstead revues in the seventies and early eighties. She thoroughly enjoyed seeing so many familiar faces at the South Hampstead Re-union in 2004 and the Old Danes’ Gatherings in 2007 and 2008. She was 87.
Football Matters
As I reported in the last edition Kelvin West took Andrew Baker’s Ladies Team off to the Caribbean for a well earned break over Christmas. What Andrew didn’t know was that Kelvin had entered them in a nude beach Football competition. As soon as they arrived he had them strip off and he divided them into two teams. Along with some of his old chums from Brentham he then set about kitting them out in paint. Here are the two sides, daubed and ready for action:
Googlies and Chinamen
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