GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 66
June 2008
Caption Competition I found this picture of Ed Smith presenting Tim Murtagh with his county cap on the Middlesex CCC website
1. Ed Smith: Stop trying to get away Tim, you are the only fit seamer left on the staff.
2. Tim Murtagh: Sorry skip I couldn’t find my cricket shirt. My grandfather wore this one when he played for Corinthian Casuals.
3. Alan Moss: There was a time when you had to take a hundred wickets in a season to get one of those.
4. Tim Murtagh: No thanks Ed; I don’t wear a hat. It messes up my hair.
5. Alistair Darling: Are you an investor or a borrower?
6. Ed Smith: Yes, it does look second hand. Actually it’s Alan Richardson’s but I don’t think he will be needing it.
Out and About with the Professor
You will be pleased to hear that Welwyn Garden got off to a winning start in the Home Counties Premiership on Saturday.
Over the winter we had picked up a couple of very useful players - a very young lad called Gavin Baker and an Aussie by the name of Derrick Tate. Baker is a sharpish swing bowler who has played Middlesex U19s and, he tells me, one game for Middlesex 2nds. He has a nice high action and looks to have considerable potential. Tate: "bats a bit and bowls a bit"... which means he's very good at both.
We were away at Henley, which is not a ground I had been to before. It is a little small, but very attractive and, I suspect, with a dry outfield, a very high scoring ground. There had been overnight rain and so the outfield was far from dry and, unsurprisingly, we were inserted. Henley opened up with Billy Taylor, the Hampshire bowler, who I think has played in a couple of one-day county games this year. He is not lightening quick but is sharp enough at this level, and for a while he employed the fashionable bouncer length with two men on the fence waiting for the mis-hook. Chad Keegan was declared fit to play cricket but not fit enough to play for the first team (whatever that might mean) and so he went off with Henley 2nds; but Mark Alleyne, the former Gloucester captain, was fit and well and bowled tidily and batted with composure until he played over the top of a yorker, for what proved to be the last ball of the game.
In early season games you expect the ball to move about a bit and so our 282-9 always looked a competitive total and there were only a couple of points during their innings when it looked as if they might get close. It was interesting to see Alleyne build an innings. It would be fair to say that, having played for England, his experience of one-day cricket was a little stronger than anyone else on the field and he will doubtless be an important part of Henley's attempt to win the league this year. But, I'm pleased to say, some excellent seam bowling and a couple of match-winning catches kept the opposition behind the required rate and they eventually ended up at 226 all out with three overs left.
Incidentally, these games are 120-over matches. That means you start at 11am and even with just a half-hour lunch, don't finish much before 8pm. In other words, amateur (or at any rate semi-professional) cricketers are required to play much longer matches than their professional counterparts. Our opener scored an excellent hundred and then fielded his full stint and also bowled half-a-dozen or so overs. In all, he was on the field for about seven hours. He is, I was told, extremely fit. If he isn't now he certainly will be by the end of the season.
So we're off to a winning start. No doubt there will be reverses ahead, but for now, time for a modest celebration.
England Matters
I was at Lords and Old Trafford for the first days of the respective tests and the over riding impression was how poor England were in the field. Ambrose was terrible and kept missing the ball completely standing back. At one stage in the McCullum/Oram partnership he was the second highest scorer. He is still in a honeymoon period and his incompetence seems to have escaped press criticism. But he will soon be found out. His runs have also dried up since his initial effort in the winter.
The out fielding is just as bad. It is a side of eight long legs. Peg Leg sets an appalling example and makes no attempt to cut out singles. The New Zealanders played it regularly to him at mid on and just trotted through for singles. It can no longer be said that Panesar’s fielding has improved. He is awful and is odds on to miss the ball even if it is hit straight to him. Pietersen and Cook both need to be hidden. The star fielder is supposed to be Collingwood but he is obviously unfit and was only playing because they pumped his shoulder full of cortisone. As a result instead of showing his prowess at cover point he lurks at second slip. He is on borrowed time as the medics say they won’t shoot him up again. I suppose he will then need an operation.
The extraordinary turnaround of fortunes at Old Trafford seems to have stemmed from the application of the heavy roller. When New Zealand batted second the wicket appeared to be almost unplayable with both seamers and spinners going through the surface. The decision to apply the heavy roller was a brave one since it could have broken up the surface even more. I wonder whose idea it was. Perhaps the groundsman advised that there was plenty of water underneath and it might just come up enough to bind the surface? The effect was remarkable and steady batting by Cook, Strauss and Peg Leg made an improbable, substantial and successful, run chase possible.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this update on the interminable problems at Lords
I agree that the Middlesex batting is not strong enough, but the main problem at the moment is the bowling. At least they have batsmen they could bring in if necessary: Compton, Morgan, Malan et al, but there are just no bowlers at all. I don’t think the problem is Nashy batting at six (the alternative is Scotty batting at six, which is far worse) as he has shown that he can do it; the problems are i) the inconsistency of the (supposedly high quality) players in the top five; and ii) not having genuine all-rounders at seven and eight; they had thought that the likes of Noffke and Philander would fill these all-rounder roles, but they have been unavoidably absent. I haven’t seen Vernon, of course, but he is supposed to be able to bat and should fill the gap, but he is only here temporarily until Kartik arrives (though there are now rumours that Murali might not be able to get released from Indian commitments). Godleman was preferred to Compton last season. I agree that the season has had a disastrous start; it could pick up if we get more bowlers fit and available, but I said a long time ago that we did not have enough bowlers. Last year we had twelve seamers at the start of the season and that was only just enough, so how did we expect to get away with only seven? The problems with the foreigners could hardly have been foreseen, but injuries to Silvers, Richo and Evans should have been expected. Robbie Williams has disappeared from sight after his good start to the season, so I suppose he is injured too?
I had two pleasant days at Vine Lane mainly in sunshine, but declined the third day on the advice of the weather forecast. Malan and Housego were proceeding sedately up to tea on day one (248-2) when captain Peploe informed them that he wanted quick runs for a declaration. Four wickets then fell quickly before the closure came at 352-6. Essex were in deep trouble at 129-7, but 18 year old Jaik Mickleburgh (103*) and no 9 Merv Westfield (74) pulled them round with a stand of 168, which allowed Graham Napier to declare behind at 330-9. Varun Chopra, Grant Flower and Chris Wright all got blongers. Gareth Berg has developed a nice line in in-swinging yorkers and bowled better than I have ever seen him to take four wickets; Finny generated pace and bounce but little accuracy; Dave Burton looked OK and Pepsi’s control looked much better than last year, but he didn’t actually get a wicket (no spinner took a wicket on days one and two). Wicket-keeper John Simpson from Bury came with quite an impressive CV (Lancashire 2s at 16, England U-19s etc), but was totally unable to cope with the pace, height and width that Finny was asking him to deal with... the result was 75 extras! They were not all Simpson’s fault, of course, because he cannot be blamed for the leg-byes and the no-balls (and he won’t want to be blamed for the wides either), but I’ll be surprised if we see Mr Simpson again. Compton failed to show at all on day 2 and Housego also left the field complaining of dizziness. This meant that a hobbling DNJ(Nash) had to field at first slip throughout the morning session until a colt could be summoned to replace him and coach Keerthi Ranasinghe also fielded for most of the day. Middlesex closed on 77-1 with Aussie Sam Robson and Adam London (65 without being out so far in the match) sharing a partnership of 70*. Jeff Coleman attended on day one, but then opted for Wentworth, where golf-loving BMW owners (Jeff has a huge 4 x 4) get treated royally. The website is telling me nothing about the 3rd day of the match at the Vine at present... hopeless.
Two washouts have eliminated Middlesex from the FPT, so does this mean that Middlesex have clinched the (“possible”) tour match v South Africa on 4th July? It was not a glorious campaign, but you get no chance to redeem yourselves when you cannot even get onto the pitch. And what happened to the reserve day(s)? Sacrificed on the altar of more and more Dumberer, I suppose?
Stop Press: I’ve just had another look at the website and Middlesex won that game at the Vine with Robson going on to 154 and Simpson making 64* (so he has retrieved his reputation) before Pepsi declared at 282 for 4 and Burton (6-48) bowled out Essex for 192 (Mickleburgh 52*) to give the lads a comfortable win by 112. I forgot to mention that the ubiquitous Tom Huggins was again playing for Essex.
Bowling Matters
Bowlers over recent years could quite justifiably claim that there has been a conspiracy against their trade. It all started with the demise of uncovered wickets. This effectively killed off in one fell swoop the seamer and eliminated the sort of wicket on which the likes of Derek Underwood excelled. The groundsmen were then expected to provide hard fast tracks on which batsmen could confidently hit through the line of the ball even on the up. So they asked the Oval staff how it was done and then started carting Surrey Loam in lorry loads around the country to replicate it. And just in case even Surrey loam started to dust up they started cover the wicket with glue to hold it together. Having found that it was now almost impossible to get out the batsmen had to be encouraged to hit the ball higher and further. This is when the bat manufacturers stepped in and started dishing out unpressed willows which were twice the size of their predecessors but lighter. Batsmen could then chip good length deliveries out of the ground at their will. The demise of the bowler was just about complete. The final nail arrived with the unexpected meteoric rise of Twenty 20 cricket in which bowlers were treated similarly to early Christians being thrown to the lions. Remember, in both cases the prime objective of the exercise was entertainment.
But just when you wouldn’t recommend a career in bowling to anyone other than seven foot freaks with psychopathic tendencies and no IQ, along came Hawkeye. At first it just gave the TV commentators something to prattle on about when Ian Botham said that the ball wouldn’t have hit another set but Hawkeye showed that it would have hit middle and leg. Then it was found that all those deliveries which hit the knee roll would not have cleared the bails but would actually have hit two thirds of the way up the stumps. Meanwhile the international umpires, whilst whiling away the hours they had created for themselves by coming off for bad light on various continents around the world, started looking at the action replays and what Hawkeye said would have happened. This has had far reaching effects.
On the international circuit it had long been accepted by bowlers that there was no point in appealing for LBW on the front foot. Indeed if someone appealed for such a decision in the sixties and seventies in club cricket they would be met with the disdainful response: “Don’t be silly he’s on the front foot”. Ken Barrington played off spinners almost exclusively with his left leg, safe in the knowledge that no umpire would give him out. Indeed it may have developed as an unwritten rule on the sub continent since the close fielders appeal for something off every delivery but knowing that there would be no success for LBW on the front foot it gave some respite.
That was before Alim Dar started to realise that what Hawkeye demonstrated retrospectively could actually be employed in real time by the umpire. As a result, to the incredulity of star international batsmen, he started to finger them on the front foot. His lead has been taken up by his colleagues on the international circuit who have the comfort of knowing that their decisions will normally be backed up by their new pal, Hawkeye. Indeed they have started to benefit from a win-win situation since if they don’t give it they are excused in that the batsmen was “a long way forward” or “the ball would have only clipped the leg stump” etc.
So what is the downside of this apparent redress of the balance between bat and ball? Well for starters we have the nonsense of Monty and his spinning chums appealing every time the ball hits the pad wherever the batsman’s leg is. Monty also then goes on his ridiculous dance around the square in anticipation of getting the umpire’s verdict in his favour for every appeal.
Light Matters
At Lords an inordinate amount of time was lost to bad light. Like last year there was no discernable difference between the light when they started and when they went off. A week later the same thing happened at Old Trafford. The public pay approximately a £1m on a test day at Lords and it is clear that the officials and players couldn’t give a shit whether they get value for money or not. The Twenty20 bonanza will make it clear that sponsors and spectators expect play regardless of conditions including light. The latter will be alleviated by the presence of artificial lighting of some sort which will become standard in due course for test cricket as well. It may necessitate a change in the colour of the ball, but since the will be playing with black bats, who cares?
At the very least until bad light is eliminated by artificial light, technology needs to be introduced so that the paying public is kept appraised of changes in the light conditions. Whatever the inadequacies of the old three light system on the scoreboard it was at least an attempt to keep the paying public up to date with the conditions. At present the public is subjected to the umpires consulting, inevitably playing safe and then the batsmen always taking the light regardless of the state of play. Oh, no that’s not quite right Nass’ men stayed out till midnight in Pakistan in total darkness to win a test match. So why didn’t Peg Leg’s men stay out at Lords and Old Trafford? Last year it was justice that England ran out of time to beat India at Lords when they had wasted so much time earlier in the match to light when they could have been getting on with it.
South Hampstead Matters followed by a Match Report
On a recent visit to London I went over to South Hampstead and, with the help of Ken James, collected various records and memorabilia which had been deposited in the shed at the back by Tony Hawdon. I think that he and Audrey would be pleased that someone is continuing to preserve these club documents. Consequently I have refreshed my stash of material and can bring readers further blasts from the past for the foreseeable future.
The following photo was taken at Stanmore for the first league match of the 1973 season:
Standing: Audrey Hawdon, David Evans, Nigel Ross, David Simpson, Geoff Howe, Alan Cox, Terry Cordaroy, Rhys Axworthy.
Seated: Jim Sharp, Allen Bruton, Bob Peach, Ian Jerman, and Colin Price.
Long hair was clearly the thing in 1973. Even Bob Peach and David Evans have flowing locks. Yes, the David Evans, formerly of Edmonton and latterly of the House of Commons. He had a season or two at South Hampstead before driving off in his Roller to somewhere else. I recall that this was a cold Spring afternoon and this is borne out by the sweaters and windswept look in the photograph.
Stanmore batted first and Tanner and Nicholls made steady progress against Ian Jerman and Geoff Howe. But both were out in the first hour which yielded 50 for 2. Thomas and Orbell then had a substantial partnership but never got on top of the bowling. At the end of the second hour the score had progressed to 95 for 2. The stranglehold was created by Alan Cox and Bob Peach who bowled in tandem and conceded only 27 runs from the bat in 17 overs. The pressure was on the Stanmore batsmen to post a total and Bob Peach brought Geoff Howe back to bear the brunt of the onslaught. He bowled Thomas for 70 with the score 138 for 3 after two and a half hours. Forsyth was also dismissed by Howe and it was left to Mike Heaffey to accompany Orbell to the declaration at 175 for 4 at 4.55pm. Orbell was 55 not out and Geoff Howe took 3 for 71 in 17.4 overs. Peach’s ten overs conceded just 11 runs.
Bob Peach and Terry Cordaroy opened the batting for South Hampstead against Brian Hall and Peter Nicholls. But it was Ross Chiese who broke the partnership when he had Peach caught by Heaffey for 22 with the score on 51 scored at a run a ball. Nigel Ross was next in but succumbed to a run out. David Evans joined Cordaroy in a stand of 67 before he was caught for 38. I remember Ross Chiese bowling a full toss which Evans slapped over mid wicket for six. However, time was running out and Colin Price joined Cordaroy who was bowled trying to up the tempo. Terry had made 84 in just over two hours. Our middle order was compiled almost exclusively of grafters which was emphasised when I joined Price. Colin perished and then David Simpson joined me. We scratched about for a couple of overs scoring less than the required rate. With three overs to go I managed only a single off Stevens but in the penultimate over scored six which left David to face the last over. He was out off the third ball without adding to the score which brought in Ian Jerman. He brought the scores level off his second ball and then hit the final ball for four to bring victory. We had reached 179 for 6 from 43 overs, after bowling ten more at our hosts. The umpires were Rhys Axworthy and George Elliott. The scorers were Audrey Hawdon and Frank Penwarne.
PPS Matters
Lord Ray sent me the following tribute to his idol
I was greatly touched by the PPS's recent remarks about how hard done by he is - who will pay my children's school fees? He asked movingly, at one point - by being prevented by the heartless ECB from earning (sic; he meant being paid) a million dollars by going off to India for their latest slogfest. It is obvious that he is quite unable to put anything by for the future - wait a second, is there no pension fund nowadays? - out of the pittance he is paid as a contracted England player, plus appearance fees, plus endorsements, plus other advertising engagements. How these chaps manage to keep body and soul together beats me.
Meanwhile, he has shown just what value he is in the most recent Test match. A little while back he got a hundred for Hampshire, by the way. Exactly a hundred. Playing for the side, he was unluckily out immediately after. Why is it that this seems often to happen when he gets a score?) Surviving, courtesy of Darrell Hair, a dead and buried lbw to Vettori, he was out caught playing with iron hands to him later for a score which had little impact on the game. In the second innings, earlier declining a Strauss single which would have enabled Strauss to retain strike next over, he was out again without significant contribution, run out turning without looking trying for two to keep the strike. This at a time when NZ could still have embarrassed us had luck gone their way. Do you wonder that I regard many of these jokers not as genuine professionals, but merely as highly paid players?
I may be biased. I confess that I cannot regard this man with anything less than loathing and this may possibly affect my judgement. It does seem to me though, that he makes his runs largely when the chips are not down. The hard yards are left to others. As a reasonable man - which you all know me to be - I am open to persuasion. Tell me how many times he did the business when it was really needed, leaving out the 'famous' Ashes innings when he was dropped for very few by, of all people, Warne. When has he done the biz properly? Why would one ever want to rescue him from a blazing building?
P.S. Who do I call a professional, you may ask? Jack Robertson for one, Arthur Milton for another, plus Alec Bedser and his overlooked brother Eric, and there were many who merited thoroughly that title. They seem to have got thinner on the ground since, although Hoggers deserves inclusion.
Getting fit for bowling
I have repeatedly expressed my disdain for the modern fad of having bowlers fit for everything except bowling. The following quote by Tom Cartwright is extracted from Stephen Chalke’s book “The Flame Still Burns”:
“An hour in the gym isn’t the same preparation for bowling as a nine-hour day working on a farm field or down a mine or even in a heavy-industry factory. You may have similar energy output, but you don’t build up the same core strength - so you haven’t developed the ability to keep your concentration when the body is starting to get tired, when the physical stress it can exert is in decline.
“There’s an important relationship between physical stress and concentration. It’s difficult in the modern world to replicate the preparation for bowling that people had when they walked everywhere and there was more manual work. Doing a lot more bowling is part of what’s needed, but it would be hugely beneficial if young bowlers went off and spent winters doing hard, physical work. It would build their core strength and that’s irreplaceable by anything else.”
The King Cricket website added “How many times have you seen Simon Jones in that stupid vest, showing off his biceps while watching an England game in which he’ll play no part? Tom Cartwright, on the other hand, bowled at least 700 first-class overs in a season 13 years in a row and continued bowling until he was 42.”
Bush Matters
The Middlesex League Handbook for 2007 included an article by David Perrin on the first 125 years of Shepherds Bush CC. He modestly fails to even mention his own role in successfully relocating his club in almost impossible circumstances to give them at least a chance of another hundred years. However, he did include the following picture of the winning Bush side than won the Lambert and Butler trophy in 1981.
Since a number of this side are recipients of Googlies perhaps some of them could tell us how they overcame John Snow to win the trophy?
Trainspotter Matters
I am indebted to Colin Newcombe for not only spotting an error in the table of South Hampstead results from the sixties but also correctly guessing its solution:
“Being involved with figures all my working life and to show that I do read and enjoy Googlies there is a small discrepancy in the chart of results 1964-68. The 1965 sat team played 23 matches but the analysis only adds up to18. A quick glance at the number of drawn matches suggests that the 1965 sat figure of 3 is not correct. If I was a betting man (which I am not) I suspect that this figure should be 8 and the total drawn matches 90.”
What can I say…?
Strange Elevens
When I was at Old Trafford earlier this season with the Professor we hit upon the concept of compiling a side of underachievers and those who frequently presented sick notes to their captains. I passed these two tasks along to the Great Jack Morgan who immediately compiled this rather parochial side of sick note bearers:
Danny Evans
Dirk Nannes
Chad Keegan
Chris Whelan
Mel Betts
Paul Hutchison
Nantie Hayward
Ashley Noffke
Aaron Laraman
Steve Nikitaras
Carlo Rendell
He added “There are eleven there and that is without calling on your two bankers Richo and Silvers. If you don’t remember Steve and Carlo that will be because they had so many sick notes that neither was ever seen in the first team, though Steve got as far as fielding sub. Without checking, I don’t think Carlo ever even played for the 2s.”
There is not much batting here but if they are all going to be absentees, I guess it doesn’t matter.
Irritating Trends in Modern Cricket- Number 52
There are a whole series of activities surrounding the modern game which have been picked up from other sports such as football and baseball. In Baseball it is quite common to have a celebrity throw the first pitch before a game, whilst another celebrity might lead the signing of the national anthem. This is harmless enough, if nevertheless pointless. At the Lords test match last year much fuss was made about Alec Bedser ringing the five minute bell before the start of play. I have to confess that I was not able to detect any difference in his ring from the normal one produced by the umpires. Indeed from my seat in the Mound Stand I could not be certain that it was indeed Alec who did the ringing. So who benefited from this? Maybe it was just Alec who was fulfilling a lifelong campanological ambition.
Peg Leg is apparently unable to perform the presumably simple task of tossing a coin without the attentions of a mascot these days. Since this exercise has already proved itself not particularly lucky it should be dropped forthwith. When leading his team onto the field of play at Old Trafford Peg Leg had to run the gauntlet of a whole gaggle of school children waving pieces of card. Again what does this add to the occasion? Personally, after the five minute bell, I would much prefer to see the umpires come onto the field followed by the fielding side, followed by the batsmen without the attentions of anyone else including television cameramen.
Football Matters
I had never realised quite what a ruthless man Andrew Baker could be. Following an indifferent season he has fired the entire playing staff of his Ladies football team. But he has already signed up an entire new squad of Polish ladies. This photo shows them arriving for their first preseason training session which was personally overseen by Andrew. In the photo Kelvin West can be seen in the foreground arranging for some candid shots for future editions of Googlies.
Old Danes Gathering
Both the Professor and the Great Jack Morgan will be attending the Old Danes Gathering at Shepherds Bush Cricket Club on Friday 1st August 2008. This may or may not be an incentive for you to attend. Please let me know if you intend to join us.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 66
June 2008
Caption Competition I found this picture of Ed Smith presenting Tim Murtagh with his county cap on the Middlesex CCC website
1. Ed Smith: Stop trying to get away Tim, you are the only fit seamer left on the staff.
2. Tim Murtagh: Sorry skip I couldn’t find my cricket shirt. My grandfather wore this one when he played for Corinthian Casuals.
3. Alan Moss: There was a time when you had to take a hundred wickets in a season to get one of those.
4. Tim Murtagh: No thanks Ed; I don’t wear a hat. It messes up my hair.
5. Alistair Darling: Are you an investor or a borrower?
6. Ed Smith: Yes, it does look second hand. Actually it’s Alan Richardson’s but I don’t think he will be needing it.
Out and About with the Professor
You will be pleased to hear that Welwyn Garden got off to a winning start in the Home Counties Premiership on Saturday.
Over the winter we had picked up a couple of very useful players - a very young lad called Gavin Baker and an Aussie by the name of Derrick Tate. Baker is a sharpish swing bowler who has played Middlesex U19s and, he tells me, one game for Middlesex 2nds. He has a nice high action and looks to have considerable potential. Tate: "bats a bit and bowls a bit"... which means he's very good at both.
We were away at Henley, which is not a ground I had been to before. It is a little small, but very attractive and, I suspect, with a dry outfield, a very high scoring ground. There had been overnight rain and so the outfield was far from dry and, unsurprisingly, we were inserted. Henley opened up with Billy Taylor, the Hampshire bowler, who I think has played in a couple of one-day county games this year. He is not lightening quick but is sharp enough at this level, and for a while he employed the fashionable bouncer length with two men on the fence waiting for the mis-hook. Chad Keegan was declared fit to play cricket but not fit enough to play for the first team (whatever that might mean) and so he went off with Henley 2nds; but Mark Alleyne, the former Gloucester captain, was fit and well and bowled tidily and batted with composure until he played over the top of a yorker, for what proved to be the last ball of the game.
In early season games you expect the ball to move about a bit and so our 282-9 always looked a competitive total and there were only a couple of points during their innings when it looked as if they might get close. It was interesting to see Alleyne build an innings. It would be fair to say that, having played for England, his experience of one-day cricket was a little stronger than anyone else on the field and he will doubtless be an important part of Henley's attempt to win the league this year. But, I'm pleased to say, some excellent seam bowling and a couple of match-winning catches kept the opposition behind the required rate and they eventually ended up at 226 all out with three overs left.
Incidentally, these games are 120-over matches. That means you start at 11am and even with just a half-hour lunch, don't finish much before 8pm. In other words, amateur (or at any rate semi-professional) cricketers are required to play much longer matches than their professional counterparts. Our opener scored an excellent hundred and then fielded his full stint and also bowled half-a-dozen or so overs. In all, he was on the field for about seven hours. He is, I was told, extremely fit. If he isn't now he certainly will be by the end of the season.
So we're off to a winning start. No doubt there will be reverses ahead, but for now, time for a modest celebration.
England Matters
I was at Lords and Old Trafford for the first days of the respective tests and the over riding impression was how poor England were in the field. Ambrose was terrible and kept missing the ball completely standing back. At one stage in the McCullum/Oram partnership he was the second highest scorer. He is still in a honeymoon period and his incompetence seems to have escaped press criticism. But he will soon be found out. His runs have also dried up since his initial effort in the winter.
The out fielding is just as bad. It is a side of eight long legs. Peg Leg sets an appalling example and makes no attempt to cut out singles. The New Zealanders played it regularly to him at mid on and just trotted through for singles. It can no longer be said that Panesar’s fielding has improved. He is awful and is odds on to miss the ball even if it is hit straight to him. Pietersen and Cook both need to be hidden. The star fielder is supposed to be Collingwood but he is obviously unfit and was only playing because they pumped his shoulder full of cortisone. As a result instead of showing his prowess at cover point he lurks at second slip. He is on borrowed time as the medics say they won’t shoot him up again. I suppose he will then need an operation.
The extraordinary turnaround of fortunes at Old Trafford seems to have stemmed from the application of the heavy roller. When New Zealand batted second the wicket appeared to be almost unplayable with both seamers and spinners going through the surface. The decision to apply the heavy roller was a brave one since it could have broken up the surface even more. I wonder whose idea it was. Perhaps the groundsman advised that there was plenty of water underneath and it might just come up enough to bind the surface? The effect was remarkable and steady batting by Cook, Strauss and Peg Leg made an improbable, substantial and successful, run chase possible.
Middlesex Matters
The Great Jack Morgan sent me this update on the interminable problems at Lords
I agree that the Middlesex batting is not strong enough, but the main problem at the moment is the bowling. At least they have batsmen they could bring in if necessary: Compton, Morgan, Malan et al, but there are just no bowlers at all. I don’t think the problem is Nashy batting at six (the alternative is Scotty batting at six, which is far worse) as he has shown that he can do it; the problems are i) the inconsistency of the (supposedly high quality) players in the top five; and ii) not having genuine all-rounders at seven and eight; they had thought that the likes of Noffke and Philander would fill these all-rounder roles, but they have been unavoidably absent. I haven’t seen Vernon, of course, but he is supposed to be able to bat and should fill the gap, but he is only here temporarily until Kartik arrives (though there are now rumours that Murali might not be able to get released from Indian commitments). Godleman was preferred to Compton last season. I agree that the season has had a disastrous start; it could pick up if we get more bowlers fit and available, but I said a long time ago that we did not have enough bowlers. Last year we had twelve seamers at the start of the season and that was only just enough, so how did we expect to get away with only seven? The problems with the foreigners could hardly have been foreseen, but injuries to Silvers, Richo and Evans should have been expected. Robbie Williams has disappeared from sight after his good start to the season, so I suppose he is injured too?
I had two pleasant days at Vine Lane mainly in sunshine, but declined the third day on the advice of the weather forecast. Malan and Housego were proceeding sedately up to tea on day one (248-2) when captain Peploe informed them that he wanted quick runs for a declaration. Four wickets then fell quickly before the closure came at 352-6. Essex were in deep trouble at 129-7, but 18 year old Jaik Mickleburgh (103*) and no 9 Merv Westfield (74) pulled them round with a stand of 168, which allowed Graham Napier to declare behind at 330-9. Varun Chopra, Grant Flower and Chris Wright all got blongers. Gareth Berg has developed a nice line in in-swinging yorkers and bowled better than I have ever seen him to take four wickets; Finny generated pace and bounce but little accuracy; Dave Burton looked OK and Pepsi’s control looked much better than last year, but he didn’t actually get a wicket (no spinner took a wicket on days one and two). Wicket-keeper John Simpson from Bury came with quite an impressive CV (Lancashire 2s at 16, England U-19s etc), but was totally unable to cope with the pace, height and width that Finny was asking him to deal with... the result was 75 extras! They were not all Simpson’s fault, of course, because he cannot be blamed for the leg-byes and the no-balls (and he won’t want to be blamed for the wides either), but I’ll be surprised if we see Mr Simpson again. Compton failed to show at all on day 2 and Housego also left the field complaining of dizziness. This meant that a hobbling DNJ(Nash) had to field at first slip throughout the morning session until a colt could be summoned to replace him and coach Keerthi Ranasinghe also fielded for most of the day. Middlesex closed on 77-1 with Aussie Sam Robson and Adam London (65 without being out so far in the match) sharing a partnership of 70*. Jeff Coleman attended on day one, but then opted for Wentworth, where golf-loving BMW owners (Jeff has a huge 4 x 4) get treated royally. The website is telling me nothing about the 3rd day of the match at the Vine at present... hopeless.
Two washouts have eliminated Middlesex from the FPT, so does this mean that Middlesex have clinched the (“possible”) tour match v South Africa on 4th July? It was not a glorious campaign, but you get no chance to redeem yourselves when you cannot even get onto the pitch. And what happened to the reserve day(s)? Sacrificed on the altar of more and more Dumberer, I suppose?
Stop Press: I’ve just had another look at the website and Middlesex won that game at the Vine with Robson going on to 154 and Simpson making 64* (so he has retrieved his reputation) before Pepsi declared at 282 for 4 and Burton (6-48) bowled out Essex for 192 (Mickleburgh 52*) to give the lads a comfortable win by 112. I forgot to mention that the ubiquitous Tom Huggins was again playing for Essex.
Bowling Matters
Bowlers over recent years could quite justifiably claim that there has been a conspiracy against their trade. It all started with the demise of uncovered wickets. This effectively killed off in one fell swoop the seamer and eliminated the sort of wicket on which the likes of Derek Underwood excelled. The groundsmen were then expected to provide hard fast tracks on which batsmen could confidently hit through the line of the ball even on the up. So they asked the Oval staff how it was done and then started carting Surrey Loam in lorry loads around the country to replicate it. And just in case even Surrey loam started to dust up they started cover the wicket with glue to hold it together. Having found that it was now almost impossible to get out the batsmen had to be encouraged to hit the ball higher and further. This is when the bat manufacturers stepped in and started dishing out unpressed willows which were twice the size of their predecessors but lighter. Batsmen could then chip good length deliveries out of the ground at their will. The demise of the bowler was just about complete. The final nail arrived with the unexpected meteoric rise of Twenty 20 cricket in which bowlers were treated similarly to early Christians being thrown to the lions. Remember, in both cases the prime objective of the exercise was entertainment.
But just when you wouldn’t recommend a career in bowling to anyone other than seven foot freaks with psychopathic tendencies and no IQ, along came Hawkeye. At first it just gave the TV commentators something to prattle on about when Ian Botham said that the ball wouldn’t have hit another set but Hawkeye showed that it would have hit middle and leg. Then it was found that all those deliveries which hit the knee roll would not have cleared the bails but would actually have hit two thirds of the way up the stumps. Meanwhile the international umpires, whilst whiling away the hours they had created for themselves by coming off for bad light on various continents around the world, started looking at the action replays and what Hawkeye said would have happened. This has had far reaching effects.
On the international circuit it had long been accepted by bowlers that there was no point in appealing for LBW on the front foot. Indeed if someone appealed for such a decision in the sixties and seventies in club cricket they would be met with the disdainful response: “Don’t be silly he’s on the front foot”. Ken Barrington played off spinners almost exclusively with his left leg, safe in the knowledge that no umpire would give him out. Indeed it may have developed as an unwritten rule on the sub continent since the close fielders appeal for something off every delivery but knowing that there would be no success for LBW on the front foot it gave some respite.
That was before Alim Dar started to realise that what Hawkeye demonstrated retrospectively could actually be employed in real time by the umpire. As a result, to the incredulity of star international batsmen, he started to finger them on the front foot. His lead has been taken up by his colleagues on the international circuit who have the comfort of knowing that their decisions will normally be backed up by their new pal, Hawkeye. Indeed they have started to benefit from a win-win situation since if they don’t give it they are excused in that the batsmen was “a long way forward” or “the ball would have only clipped the leg stump” etc.
So what is the downside of this apparent redress of the balance between bat and ball? Well for starters we have the nonsense of Monty and his spinning chums appealing every time the ball hits the pad wherever the batsman’s leg is. Monty also then goes on his ridiculous dance around the square in anticipation of getting the umpire’s verdict in his favour for every appeal.
Light Matters
At Lords an inordinate amount of time was lost to bad light. Like last year there was no discernable difference between the light when they started and when they went off. A week later the same thing happened at Old Trafford. The public pay approximately a £1m on a test day at Lords and it is clear that the officials and players couldn’t give a shit whether they get value for money or not. The Twenty20 bonanza will make it clear that sponsors and spectators expect play regardless of conditions including light. The latter will be alleviated by the presence of artificial lighting of some sort which will become standard in due course for test cricket as well. It may necessitate a change in the colour of the ball, but since the will be playing with black bats, who cares?
At the very least until bad light is eliminated by artificial light, technology needs to be introduced so that the paying public is kept appraised of changes in the light conditions. Whatever the inadequacies of the old three light system on the scoreboard it was at least an attempt to keep the paying public up to date with the conditions. At present the public is subjected to the umpires consulting, inevitably playing safe and then the batsmen always taking the light regardless of the state of play. Oh, no that’s not quite right Nass’ men stayed out till midnight in Pakistan in total darkness to win a test match. So why didn’t Peg Leg’s men stay out at Lords and Old Trafford? Last year it was justice that England ran out of time to beat India at Lords when they had wasted so much time earlier in the match to light when they could have been getting on with it.
South Hampstead Matters followed by a Match Report
On a recent visit to London I went over to South Hampstead and, with the help of Ken James, collected various records and memorabilia which had been deposited in the shed at the back by Tony Hawdon. I think that he and Audrey would be pleased that someone is continuing to preserve these club documents. Consequently I have refreshed my stash of material and can bring readers further blasts from the past for the foreseeable future.
The following photo was taken at Stanmore for the first league match of the 1973 season:
Standing: Audrey Hawdon, David Evans, Nigel Ross, David Simpson, Geoff Howe, Alan Cox, Terry Cordaroy, Rhys Axworthy.
Seated: Jim Sharp, Allen Bruton, Bob Peach, Ian Jerman, and Colin Price.
Long hair was clearly the thing in 1973. Even Bob Peach and David Evans have flowing locks. Yes, the David Evans, formerly of Edmonton and latterly of the House of Commons. He had a season or two at South Hampstead before driving off in his Roller to somewhere else. I recall that this was a cold Spring afternoon and this is borne out by the sweaters and windswept look in the photograph.
Stanmore batted first and Tanner and Nicholls made steady progress against Ian Jerman and Geoff Howe. But both were out in the first hour which yielded 50 for 2. Thomas and Orbell then had a substantial partnership but never got on top of the bowling. At the end of the second hour the score had progressed to 95 for 2. The stranglehold was created by Alan Cox and Bob Peach who bowled in tandem and conceded only 27 runs from the bat in 17 overs. The pressure was on the Stanmore batsmen to post a total and Bob Peach brought Geoff Howe back to bear the brunt of the onslaught. He bowled Thomas for 70 with the score 138 for 3 after two and a half hours. Forsyth was also dismissed by Howe and it was left to Mike Heaffey to accompany Orbell to the declaration at 175 for 4 at 4.55pm. Orbell was 55 not out and Geoff Howe took 3 for 71 in 17.4 overs. Peach’s ten overs conceded just 11 runs.
Bob Peach and Terry Cordaroy opened the batting for South Hampstead against Brian Hall and Peter Nicholls. But it was Ross Chiese who broke the partnership when he had Peach caught by Heaffey for 22 with the score on 51 scored at a run a ball. Nigel Ross was next in but succumbed to a run out. David Evans joined Cordaroy in a stand of 67 before he was caught for 38. I remember Ross Chiese bowling a full toss which Evans slapped over mid wicket for six. However, time was running out and Colin Price joined Cordaroy who was bowled trying to up the tempo. Terry had made 84 in just over two hours. Our middle order was compiled almost exclusively of grafters which was emphasised when I joined Price. Colin perished and then David Simpson joined me. We scratched about for a couple of overs scoring less than the required rate. With three overs to go I managed only a single off Stevens but in the penultimate over scored six which left David to face the last over. He was out off the third ball without adding to the score which brought in Ian Jerman. He brought the scores level off his second ball and then hit the final ball for four to bring victory. We had reached 179 for 6 from 43 overs, after bowling ten more at our hosts. The umpires were Rhys Axworthy and George Elliott. The scorers were Audrey Hawdon and Frank Penwarne.
PPS Matters
Lord Ray sent me the following tribute to his idol
I was greatly touched by the PPS's recent remarks about how hard done by he is - who will pay my children's school fees? He asked movingly, at one point - by being prevented by the heartless ECB from earning (sic; he meant being paid) a million dollars by going off to India for their latest slogfest. It is obvious that he is quite unable to put anything by for the future - wait a second, is there no pension fund nowadays? - out of the pittance he is paid as a contracted England player, plus appearance fees, plus endorsements, plus other advertising engagements. How these chaps manage to keep body and soul together beats me.
Meanwhile, he has shown just what value he is in the most recent Test match. A little while back he got a hundred for Hampshire, by the way. Exactly a hundred. Playing for the side, he was unluckily out immediately after. Why is it that this seems often to happen when he gets a score?) Surviving, courtesy of Darrell Hair, a dead and buried lbw to Vettori, he was out caught playing with iron hands to him later for a score which had little impact on the game. In the second innings, earlier declining a Strauss single which would have enabled Strauss to retain strike next over, he was out again without significant contribution, run out turning without looking trying for two to keep the strike. This at a time when NZ could still have embarrassed us had luck gone their way. Do you wonder that I regard many of these jokers not as genuine professionals, but merely as highly paid players?
I may be biased. I confess that I cannot regard this man with anything less than loathing and this may possibly affect my judgement. It does seem to me though, that he makes his runs largely when the chips are not down. The hard yards are left to others. As a reasonable man - which you all know me to be - I am open to persuasion. Tell me how many times he did the business when it was really needed, leaving out the 'famous' Ashes innings when he was dropped for very few by, of all people, Warne. When has he done the biz properly? Why would one ever want to rescue him from a blazing building?
P.S. Who do I call a professional, you may ask? Jack Robertson for one, Arthur Milton for another, plus Alec Bedser and his overlooked brother Eric, and there were many who merited thoroughly that title. They seem to have got thinner on the ground since, although Hoggers deserves inclusion.
Getting fit for bowling
I have repeatedly expressed my disdain for the modern fad of having bowlers fit for everything except bowling. The following quote by Tom Cartwright is extracted from Stephen Chalke’s book “The Flame Still Burns”:
“An hour in the gym isn’t the same preparation for bowling as a nine-hour day working on a farm field or down a mine or even in a heavy-industry factory. You may have similar energy output, but you don’t build up the same core strength - so you haven’t developed the ability to keep your concentration when the body is starting to get tired, when the physical stress it can exert is in decline.
“There’s an important relationship between physical stress and concentration. It’s difficult in the modern world to replicate the preparation for bowling that people had when they walked everywhere and there was more manual work. Doing a lot more bowling is part of what’s needed, but it would be hugely beneficial if young bowlers went off and spent winters doing hard, physical work. It would build their core strength and that’s irreplaceable by anything else.”
The King Cricket website added “How many times have you seen Simon Jones in that stupid vest, showing off his biceps while watching an England game in which he’ll play no part? Tom Cartwright, on the other hand, bowled at least 700 first-class overs in a season 13 years in a row and continued bowling until he was 42.”
Bush Matters
The Middlesex League Handbook for 2007 included an article by David Perrin on the first 125 years of Shepherds Bush CC. He modestly fails to even mention his own role in successfully relocating his club in almost impossible circumstances to give them at least a chance of another hundred years. However, he did include the following picture of the winning Bush side than won the Lambert and Butler trophy in 1981.
Since a number of this side are recipients of Googlies perhaps some of them could tell us how they overcame John Snow to win the trophy?
Trainspotter Matters
I am indebted to Colin Newcombe for not only spotting an error in the table of South Hampstead results from the sixties but also correctly guessing its solution:
“Being involved with figures all my working life and to show that I do read and enjoy Googlies there is a small discrepancy in the chart of results 1964-68. The 1965 sat team played 23 matches but the analysis only adds up to18. A quick glance at the number of drawn matches suggests that the 1965 sat figure of 3 is not correct. If I was a betting man (which I am not) I suspect that this figure should be 8 and the total drawn matches 90.”
What can I say…?
Strange Elevens
When I was at Old Trafford earlier this season with the Professor we hit upon the concept of compiling a side of underachievers and those who frequently presented sick notes to their captains. I passed these two tasks along to the Great Jack Morgan who immediately compiled this rather parochial side of sick note bearers:
Danny Evans
Dirk Nannes
Chad Keegan
Chris Whelan
Mel Betts
Paul Hutchison
Nantie Hayward
Ashley Noffke
Aaron Laraman
Steve Nikitaras
Carlo Rendell
He added “There are eleven there and that is without calling on your two bankers Richo and Silvers. If you don’t remember Steve and Carlo that will be because they had so many sick notes that neither was ever seen in the first team, though Steve got as far as fielding sub. Without checking, I don’t think Carlo ever even played for the 2s.”
There is not much batting here but if they are all going to be absentees, I guess it doesn’t matter.
Irritating Trends in Modern Cricket- Number 52
There are a whole series of activities surrounding the modern game which have been picked up from other sports such as football and baseball. In Baseball it is quite common to have a celebrity throw the first pitch before a game, whilst another celebrity might lead the signing of the national anthem. This is harmless enough, if nevertheless pointless. At the Lords test match last year much fuss was made about Alec Bedser ringing the five minute bell before the start of play. I have to confess that I was not able to detect any difference in his ring from the normal one produced by the umpires. Indeed from my seat in the Mound Stand I could not be certain that it was indeed Alec who did the ringing. So who benefited from this? Maybe it was just Alec who was fulfilling a lifelong campanological ambition.
Peg Leg is apparently unable to perform the presumably simple task of tossing a coin without the attentions of a mascot these days. Since this exercise has already proved itself not particularly lucky it should be dropped forthwith. When leading his team onto the field of play at Old Trafford Peg Leg had to run the gauntlet of a whole gaggle of school children waving pieces of card. Again what does this add to the occasion? Personally, after the five minute bell, I would much prefer to see the umpires come onto the field followed by the fielding side, followed by the batsmen without the attentions of anyone else including television cameramen.
Football Matters
I had never realised quite what a ruthless man Andrew Baker could be. Following an indifferent season he has fired the entire playing staff of his Ladies football team. But he has already signed up an entire new squad of Polish ladies. This photo shows them arriving for their first preseason training session which was personally overseen by Andrew. In the photo Kelvin West can be seen in the foreground arranging for some candid shots for future editions of Googlies.
Old Danes Gathering
Both the Professor and the Great Jack Morgan will be attending the Old Danes Gathering at Shepherds Bush Cricket Club on Friday 1st August 2008. This may or may not be an incentive for you to attend. Please let me know if you intend to join us.
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