GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 36
December 2005
Reality Check
The post Ashes euphoria is now firmly in the past as England are getting beaten on good wickets by the world’s seventh ranked test nation, Pakistan. There are a number of problems re-surfacing in the England camp which were glossed over whilst the Ashes were being secured. Understandably Fletch wants to keep the same side whenever possible but when injury makes change necessary they don’t seem to have a strategy. Jones the Ball was never going to be available for this tour but no replacement has been identified. The summer success was based on a four man pace attack but whenever Jones hasn’t played they have gone in with only three quicks.
The main problem with this is that Freddie has been overbowled. He now gets the new ball ahead of Harmison and is the go-to bowler whenever things get out of hand. One of the commentators mentioned at Faisalabad that he had been in the England dressing room after the close of the play and Freddie was totally exhausted after a day’s bowling. There’s nothing wrong with this but don’t expect him to go and get a hundred with the bat the next day.
Everyone knows that Collingwood is not a test cricketer but because he is so firmly ensconced in the Fletch camp he gets the nod whenever there is a vacancy. This always unbalances the side and gives the opposition a cheap wicket. One day he will get runs (Lahore?) and will then become a permanent fixture, which will make England a weaker side.
Peg Leg’s reluctance to bowl Udal and Giles makes their selection a mystery. Neither poses any threat on a slow true wicket and merely gives the opposition batsmen a rest and some easy runs for the milking. In Udal’s case Afridi thought all his birthdays had come at once as he slugged the affable lobs into the crowd. If Anderson is not England’s fifth quick why do they keep selecting him? Why don’t they go to the next bowler and select him when there is a vacancy?
Peg Leg’s tactics in the field earned him plaudits, such as “innovative”, in the summer when the side was winning. In fact they are flawed and on normal days just seem naïve and costly. Several England bowlers have had to watch in Pakistan as hard earned edges fly between the wicket keeper and slip who is stationed half way to gully. The obsession with boundary fielders in front of the wicket makes it difficult for bowlers to exert pressure on the batsmen by bowling maidens. The boundary fielders leave gaps and it’s relatively easy for the batsmen to keep the score moving by taking singles. And of course quick bowlers are expected to bowl without a third man…..
Teflon is now expected to drop catches and so relatively little is made of it when he lives up to expectations. Perhaps he benefited from Kamran Akmal’s presence in the Pakistan side. This guy would fit into a West Indian side without any fear of him being described as slick. Teflon looked good with the bat and was gutsy on the last day against Shoaib’s attack but his drop of Yousuf off a regulation leg side catch standing up to Bell was critically expensive.
I don’t subscribe to the current soft attitude to players’ family matters coming before their commitment to the England side. Peg Leg got away with the birth of his first child during the Trent Bridge test in 2004 because it happened overnight. Strauss’ departure from the Pakistan tour is ridiculous. He was either available for the tour or not. His performances both with the bat and in the field suggested that his mind was elsewhere and they should have left him behind. Banger was going to miss the second test because of his father in law’s illness. Where will it all end? Priorities need to be clearly established.
Unseemly Umpiring
We have all got used to the ridiculous antics of the Pipsqueak Kiwi but at least they don’t interfere with the play. However, Faisalabad witnessed the lamentable development of an international umpire trying to get into the game. Daryl Hair was the guilty official and I suppose that we shouldn’t be too surprised since he has got previous form in this department. It was he who called Murali for throwing in Australia in the nineties.
In Faisalabad he kicked off by effectively stopping Kaneria from bowling. He warned him from running on the wicket twice and so Kaneria who likes to bowl close to the stumps was forced to bowl from wide of the crease. All other bowlers in the match bowled close to the stumps on occasion but none were warned. He then turned his attention to Salman Butt who he twice warned for running on the pitch whilst batting. This created a new record as on the second occasion Butt’s single was disallowed and he had to return to the striker’s end. Hair rubbed salt in the wound by giving him out LBW next ball. Younis Khan engagingly took the piss out of Hair by exaggeratedly jumping sideways off the track before taking a single when he next got down that end. When Inzy got to the wicket he ran (sic) straight down the middle of the wicket and Hair completely ignored it.
On the other hand the action taken by the Match Referee against Afridi for his disgraceful pirouetting on a length at both ends during the bomb scare was entirely in order. Hair’s antics were unwarranted and can only come under the “clever dick” category.
News from the Professor’s armchair
I received this update from the Professor: “I have just heard that WGCCC have signed Aaron Laraman for next season. He has the advantages (for us) of both being a very good player with first class experience and being much less likely to abscond to Rotherham with the Club's money.”
I replied: “Presumably you identified him at Headingley in April? Does he see this as a step up the ladder?”
To which I got the response: “Undoubtedly. He's going to work for Martin James, by comparison with which, his position at the Cricket Club will seem like security itself.”
Appalling Fielders
The entire Pakistan side are making a collective bid to join this dubious category. They are led by Inzy who sets the example by using his feet rather than his hands whenever possible in the field. This is if the ball is hit straight to him, if it is either side he just watches it on its way. He looks as if he would not be at all embarrassed to watch proceedings from a deck chair at extra cover.
Danish Kaneria has decided to be the worst fielder in world cricket and is simply appalling in all aspects of this feature of play. These two seem to have dragged the rest of the team, which includes some previously competent if not good fielders, down to their level. It’s all hard on their bowlers who took about thirty wickets in Faisalabad and still didn’t bowl England out twice.
Match Report
In earlier editions I recounted how South Hampstead had lost in the inaugural Wills Trophy final against Hornsey at Lords in 1968 and then having reached the final again the following year lost to Ealing at Finchley.
In 1970 the Legendary Len Stubbs was again our captain and our first real test was in the quarter final at Finchley. Terry Cordaroy held our innings together with a patient 92 and we closed our forty five over innings on 222 for 6. Our bowlers, with Dick Boothroyd to the fore, did well to reduce a very strong Finchley line up which included Selwood, Milton and Hayes, to 145 for 8. But this was the game, recalled by Bill Hart at Southend, in which Ron Hooker had a leg side theory about their bottom order and we ended up winning by just four runs.
The semi final was at Milverton Road against Barnet. We batted first but despite a quick fire 46 from the captain we found ourselves at 89 for 5. However, Bob Peach first with Robin Ager and then with Bill Hart steered our score to the relatively respectable 175 for 7. Barnet never recovered from Bill Hart’s opening assault when they were reduced to 39 for 5. When Bill returned and took the final wicket his figures were 4 for 31 and Barnet were all out for 142.
The final was held at Hornsey against Ealing on September 9th. Bob Fisher tells me that it was a big event for Ealing as it was their centenary season and for him personally as it was his first season as club captain. We arrived in drizzle and the start was delayed until 1pm which consequently reduced the match from 55 overs to 45 overs per side.
South Hampstead batted first and I opened with Terry Cordaroy against Bill Hatchett and Willie Shaw who took the new ball for Ealing. I batted miserably playing and missing regularly to my partner’s consternation but we had put on 28 when I was eventually caught behind. This brought the Legendary Len Stubbs to the crease and our two premier batters took the score to 87 at a run a ball until the captain was run out by John Lindley who hit the stumps at the bowlers end from mid on. We then suffered a collapse with Peter Rice, John Bowerman, Bob Peach and Allen Bruton being dismissed cheaply by Peter Mitchell. When Terry was also out we had slumped to 111 for 7. Bill Hart batted the only way he knew how by swinging lustily and he scored an invaluable 42 which enabled us to post a scarcely adequate all out score of 160.
When Ealing batted Bill Hart quickly dismissed Brian Stevens but neither he nor Ian Jerman had any further success against Brian Puddephatt and Alan Heighes who took the score to 83. It was Don Wallis who made the breakthrough first having Heighes caught and then he bowled Dave Roberts. With Ealing at 95 for 3 we were in with an outside chance of victory but Alan Price hammered a rapid 29 in twenty minutes which took the game away from us. Dick Boothroyd dismissed him and then got Puddephatt as well to finish with 2 for 16 from his nine overs. Our only other success came when our skipper, who always liked to give himself a bowl, bowled Bill Hatchett before John Poore and John Lindley saw Ealing home with four overs to spare.
Whilst Ealing celebrated a second successive Trophy win South Hampstead completed a miserable hat trick of losses in the final. Once again we knew that we had under performed, which made it all that much more frustrating. The umpires on this occasion were E de Winter and George Coleman and for Nostalgia Trainspotters the scorers were Audrey Hawdon and Norman Springall.
Over the Hill?
When we organised the first South Hampstead re-union in 2004 we had some difficulty deciding on a focal point for the afternoon. In the event there was plenty of entertainment provided by a first eleven match against Paddington. However, although I don’t think it was ever mentioned, there was always the possibility of the re-unionees performing in a match amongst themselves although I didn’t want to be the one to suggest it. This may have been overly sensitive on my part as several of the attendees were indeed still playing regularly.
This reticence was put into perspective by an article in the November edition of the Wisden Cricketer which described a celebration match played earlier this year at Broadhalfpenny Down to mark Bob Barber’s seventieth birthday. The match got underway with Donald Carr and Jack Bailey umpiring whilst the new ball was taken by Fred Rumsey and Ian Thompson who is 76. One of the opening batsmen was Ian McLachlan who is one of the Professor’s chums from WGCCC who came over from Australia for the occasion. Tom Cartwright was apparently the pick of the bowlers whilst Roger Knight was the day’s top scorer. Mike Brearley almost managed the ignominy of a negative score, under the rules of the day, and the proceedings were watched by Bomber Wells from a wheelchair. Bob Barber, who now lives in Switzerland, scored runs with his old flair and bowled the final over which saw the match finish in a contrived and predictable tie.
Trainspotters’ Corner
In the last edition I listed some extracts from the first class averages for 2005. The Great Jack Morgan was quick off the mark with this reply:
“Defenders of A Strauss and G Jones would point out that they had to play against the likes of Warne, while county batters had to play against the likes of Peploe. G Jones’s record amongst keepers was even worse that you indicated because in addition to the chaps you mentioned, N Pothas (best of all at 51.21), T New (38.25, though I don’t think he actually did any keeping last season), S Davies (36.5), W Hegg (33.46), R Wessels (31.21), N O’Brien (26.81), M Wallace (25.74), R Turner (25.5), P Mustard (24.14) and C Gazzard (23.75) all had better batting averages. I think Davies and New are the coming men. Did you do the WC’s readers’ poll? I finally had to come off the fence because they asked who should be keeping for England. I have my doubts about Read’s ability standing up (and I hear that he kept poorly in an end of season televised championship match... did you see it?); you raised doubts about Batty’s pedigree (though he was again competent v Middx at the Oval); and other pundits have questioned Prior’s skills with the gloves (though again he has always done pretty well when I have seen him), so I ended up awarding the position to J Foster. I ignored what happened at Southend as that was viewed through a Red (wine) Mist, but I had seen quite a bit of him in NZ in 2002, where he showed some promise with both bat and gloves, though at that time I was strongly in favour of the return of A Stewart.”
John Isterling made the following observations: “Whilst I am not a particular supporter of Geraint Jones in the keeper's role, it has to be remembered that his figures are at test level which I think you would have to admit is a higher level than 1st class. The same argument also applies to the other contracted players with the exception of James Anderson. Mark Ramprakash has never cut the mustard at test level and I think his omission was correct.”
He was also able to explain why a batsman who comes in for the last ball of an innings at the non strikers end finds it necessary to equip himself with a helmet: “the 'last ball' could well be a no ball or a wide off which a single is run leaving the man to face the last ball.”
Nouveaux Umpires
I seem to have found better ways to get up Peter Ray’s nose in this journal than I ever did batting against him. He was quick to fire off this response to last month’s article:
“You really must check your sources more carefully. When I am less busy - at the moment the ACU&S has problems which I, and certain others, are trying to get put right, resulting from its time with the appalling Barrie Stuart-King (or Barrie King, as he was originally) as chairman; there is useful info on www.ecomallbiz.com/easy1 and click on Club Cricket news - I shall give you the proper story about my 8 lbws, which was in my first Premiership umpiring engagement, not my first ever umpiring (what I suppose you could call) outing.”
We wait with baited breath.
Peach’s Thirty Three In the last edition I gave the list of first class players who have played at South Hampstead. Bob Peach’s thirty-three had grown to thirty-six. Ian McIntosh has now sent me a further nine names:
Grant Bradburn NZ
Gary Steed NZ
Martin Breedy Cambridge University
Peter King Victoria
Junior Clifford Worcs
Kit Fawcett Auckland and Natal also an All Black
Gomez son of Jerry Trinidad
Darren Foster Somerset
David Toosie Middlesex
This takes Peach’s thirty three to forty five and so it is not inconceivable that we could reach a half century. I suppose someone will then have to devise a dream team from these illustrious sometime colleagues….
Red Mist Matters
In their opening tour match in Pakistan the England side came up against Shehzad Malik who batted at number eight and top scored with 37. Earlier this year he played in a forty five over match in Hertfordshire for Langleybury against the Middlesex Tamils. He scored a staggering 403 not out in this match in an innings which included thirty eight sixes.
In the one–day international between India and Sri Lanka at Jaipur in October chasing 299 to win the Indians sent in their wicket keeper, Mahendra Dhoni, at number three. He proceeded to take the bowling apart and finished on 183 not out in an innings, which included ten sixes and fifteen fours.
Mention must also be made of Red Mist Afridi who sat at Faislabad for a couple of hours waiting to come in whilst Inzy and Yousuf added 150. Then Bell caught and bowled the latter on the half volley and welcomed our hero to the crease with a wide. His next ball was on the strip and Afridi launched it over long off one bounce for four. The next was fuller and it was hammered for four to long on. The next ball was cut powerfully for a third consecutive four. Harmison replaced Bell and he showed respect to his first ball, which was a slow delivery. His second was another slow ball and Afridi launched it into the upper deck over wide long on. He added another five sixes during his innings of 92. Incidentally Pakistan hit thirteen sixes during their first innings which comfortably exceeded England’s ten on the first day at Edgbaston in August.
Mumsies
Occasional reference has been made in these pages to Alan Cox’ wafer thin pads. Alan played for Paddington when I first encountered him and he started playing for the South Hampstead Saturday side in the late sixties. He would not have had many opportunities at number eleven to bat in these powerful batting line ups and it was probably when he started playing on Sundays as well that someone noticed his pads. Alan had an old style cricket bag which was long enough to take a bat but which had a clasp in the middle at the top. His pads would lie flat at the bottom of this bag occupying almost no space at all. When removed they flapped about like corrugated cardboard and had little more substance. They were off white in colour and he presumably inherited them from the same person who donated the bag. They may explain Alan’s reticence to get in line on the rare occasions when he did get to the crease.
In the early sixties the Legendary Len Stubbs had had outings with both Somerset and Hampshire second elevens but by the late sixties he had been tempted to lend his talents to Hertfordshire. Before this sojourn he had been a swashbuckling clean hitting destroyer of all bowling. After a few outings with his new county he returned to the South Hampstead fold and everyone was amused by his new shot, which turned out to be an exaggerated forward defensive block. It stood out all the more because an enormous new pad accompanied his bat, when playing the shot. The pads were not long but wide and tremendously thick. I think that it was Allen Bruton who noticed that the ball came off the pads faster and harder than it did off the bat when he played his new shot and got the line slightly wrong. He then dubbed the pads Len’s “three spring pads”.
I asked Steve Thompson if he had any thoughts on this fascinating topic. He replied “Cords had the most distinctive pads. Slightly creamy, there was that deformed left one, which I'm sure if you looked at him chest on was facing square leg as a consequence of his constant tugging it square on to the bowler between deliveries. I think Ranji Kerai had the pads with the best middle; he sported a pair of those light grey asbestos coloured pads with incredible bounce, they were the equivalent of the original Gray Nicholls scoop bats. I'm not sure what Len's three springers were but I suspect Ranji's were at least five springers. I recall he was almost caught off bat and pad at extra cover once.”
Paddington and related Matters
Denis Jones sent me the following notes
I thought you might be interested in the following few paragraphs, with an interesting coincidence that my cousin, who emigrated to Canada about 40 years ago, should locate a collection of press cuttings from almost 70 years back, and although all about his uncle, has a strong link-back to the Paddington club of today.
On his recent annual visit from Canadian shores back to dear old blighty, my cousin brought with him several press cuttings and other scrapbook memorabilia regarding the very bright but tragically curtailed cricketing career of his uncle, Paul Brooks. Although he leapt to fame for a bowling feat, he was primarily a batsman, and in the one first class innings he had for Middlesex, prior to the intervention of WWII, scored 44 not out against Warwickshire. However, Paul died in 1946 from injuries sustained on active duty in Italy during the War.
Over the years, the story of 'the boy who bowled Bradman' was mentioned to me on several occasions by my father, whose sister married Paul Brooks' brother. Although it was only in the nets at Lords, back in 1938 Bradman was such a colossus that it made national headline news, especially as Paul was on the groundstaff, and aged just 16. However, these press cuttings, apart from the full-page spreads, and various cartoons on the incident, also show that Paul Brooks was playing club cricket with Paddington around that time. A local newspaper includes a report on Paul scoring his first century for the club in a match against Lyons at Sudbury. It goes on to state that Paddington declared at 214 for 2, with Paul's opening partner, ''F. Pryke'', being 84 not out. This is, of course, none other than our current Chairman, Fred Pryke. Fred, who is now approaching 90 not out has just been re-elected Chairman at our annual AGM, although concern was expressed that we now have evidence from these cuttings that he was a bit on the slow side even as a young man!! On reading the report, Fred said that he could clearly remember the day, and advised that Paul Brooks was not only a fine cricketer, but a fine young man.
Items of note from our AGM were the election of new joint Captains, Steve Bunning and Anthony Saunders, taking over from Tim Miles, and the election to Life Membership of several lady members, who following the sadly premature death of their husbands have continued to support the club, and still often attend our matches. Doreen Bennett, Judy Bunning, Peggy Chapman, Sue Cox, and Brenda Shepperd probably all deserve medals as well for the 50 odd years that they have been journeying around the North Circular/South Circular/M25 not just in loyal support of their husband, and subsequently their sons, and grandsons, but in helping towards a good social atmosphere at the clubs we visit. I was going to add that they all also made a good sandwich, and always had spare food, but that would seem chauvinist, sexist, etc, and you can edit it out anyway!!
Ealing Matters Whilst liaising with Bob Fisher on other matters, I asked him how 2005 was for him
I captained Ealing 4th XI in 1987 League last season. We finished runners up to Alexandra Park 3rd XI. We should have won the League. In final game needing to win for the championship, playing against Acton 3rd XI, they were 117-9 chasing our 176 with 14 overs remaining. We then proceeded to drop three catches, one a dolly and they won by one wicket with just over an over to go!
On a personal note, I am not sure how much longer I will continue to play. I have agreed to captain the fourth team again next season and I feel fit enough to continue, but the games in which I am content with my personal performance behind the stumps are diminishing and I suspect it will not be much longer before the enjoyment in playing will be a thing of the past.
Sparks
On a hot day in the seventies when South Hampstead played at Wembley the pop group Sparks had hired the adjacent Wasps pavilion to rehearse before their first, and no doubt only, UK tour. The windows had been thrown open to make up for the lack of air conditioning and the odd drum or guitar sound had been heard as the group warmed up. Don Wallis was captaining the South Hampstead side and, after selflessly allowing others to use the new ball, decided to show his unsuccessful opening bowlers how seam bowling should be applied. He marked out his run and then commenced his approach to the wicket. Exactly on cue Sparks broke into their one and only UK hit, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us” at deafening volume. Don halted in his tracks and demanded silence before he would continue.
I asked Peter Ray whether he had played in this match and he replied:
Yes, I was there. When the Sparks were flying, I mean. For some reason, we had the then captain of the second eleven playing for us - his name is eluding me at present but at five to three I shall sit up and shout his name; no, wait! It's coming, it's coming. It was John Cope - a Welshman who was like many of his compatriots, a schoolmaster. We formed a little skirmishing party and went over the fence to beard the noisy bastards who, as you may know, had opened all the windows where they were rehearsing. We delivered an admonishing message and did get the windows closed, at least, after putting the manager, an acned youth of nineteen summers or so, in a bit of a tizz. "Darn't speak to the band, darn't speak to the band," he cried, rushing up and spreading his arms wide to screen them off, as if we might pass on some appalling infection. "Don't be bloody ridiculous," said Cope and gave them a good wigging. As we made our way back to the ground, Cope said to me, quite seriously - it was a good few years ago and political correctness had not yet blighted our fair island - "I cane a dozen buggers like that every bloody week." I believe they went off to the States and made more money and had more tail than I ever dreamt might exist. Ho, hum.
I was talking to Steve Thompson about other matters and so asked him if he had any recollections of this memorable event He replied: “I most certainly did. Recollections are sketchy but I do recall the combined egos and might of Ray and Wallis were insufficient to match those of the erstwhile chart toppers who continued to rehearse despite their protestations from below the open window of the Wasps' pavilion; a case of This Ground Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us. I remember the song started with a distinctive chord which was struck just as Don pushed off his mark to bowl his first ball of the afternoon. He was stopped in mid stride and never quite regained his composure for the rest of the afternoon's fielding stint.”
Strange XIs
Last month’s Strange XI did actually all wear the same Jazz Hat. During my correspondence with the Great Jack Morgan I failed to identify this side despite various proffered clues. He finally put me out of my misery: “You knew that they were all the same age-group and that they comprised a balanced team, therefore this was an actual team. You knew that it was an England-strength team, but you also knew that the games they played were not in the reference books and so they were not approved by the authorities, therefore it was a “rebel” tour. You knew that I had omitted someone whose name would have given it away: obviously Gatting. Yes, you’ve got it now: they all toured South Africa in 1990 with Gatt’s “Rebels”. Incidentally, others I left out were J Emburey, C Broad, G Dilley and N Foster.”
The Great Jack Morgan has set you what he considers an easy one this month. If it is of any help he divulges that “there is no keeper in this category, as far as I am aware, unless you count Straussy, who has deputised on the odd occasion.”
Andy Strauss
Kevan James
Francis Ford
Irfan Pathan
Umer Rashid
Chris Peploe
Matt Creese
Chas Taylor
Chris Batt
Ron Bell
Paul Hutchison
What Jazz Hat fits these guys?
Earlier Editions
I will be please to email you a copy of the earlier editions of Googlies & Chinamen, if you missed or have mislaid them. If you received this edition through a third party, please send me your email address to ensure that you get on the main mailing list for future editions.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 36
December 2005
Reality Check
The post Ashes euphoria is now firmly in the past as England are getting beaten on good wickets by the world’s seventh ranked test nation, Pakistan. There are a number of problems re-surfacing in the England camp which were glossed over whilst the Ashes were being secured. Understandably Fletch wants to keep the same side whenever possible but when injury makes change necessary they don’t seem to have a strategy. Jones the Ball was never going to be available for this tour but no replacement has been identified. The summer success was based on a four man pace attack but whenever Jones hasn’t played they have gone in with only three quicks.
The main problem with this is that Freddie has been overbowled. He now gets the new ball ahead of Harmison and is the go-to bowler whenever things get out of hand. One of the commentators mentioned at Faisalabad that he had been in the England dressing room after the close of the play and Freddie was totally exhausted after a day’s bowling. There’s nothing wrong with this but don’t expect him to go and get a hundred with the bat the next day.
Everyone knows that Collingwood is not a test cricketer but because he is so firmly ensconced in the Fletch camp he gets the nod whenever there is a vacancy. This always unbalances the side and gives the opposition a cheap wicket. One day he will get runs (Lahore?) and will then become a permanent fixture, which will make England a weaker side.
Peg Leg’s reluctance to bowl Udal and Giles makes their selection a mystery. Neither poses any threat on a slow true wicket and merely gives the opposition batsmen a rest and some easy runs for the milking. In Udal’s case Afridi thought all his birthdays had come at once as he slugged the affable lobs into the crowd. If Anderson is not England’s fifth quick why do they keep selecting him? Why don’t they go to the next bowler and select him when there is a vacancy?
Peg Leg’s tactics in the field earned him plaudits, such as “innovative”, in the summer when the side was winning. In fact they are flawed and on normal days just seem naïve and costly. Several England bowlers have had to watch in Pakistan as hard earned edges fly between the wicket keeper and slip who is stationed half way to gully. The obsession with boundary fielders in front of the wicket makes it difficult for bowlers to exert pressure on the batsmen by bowling maidens. The boundary fielders leave gaps and it’s relatively easy for the batsmen to keep the score moving by taking singles. And of course quick bowlers are expected to bowl without a third man…..
Teflon is now expected to drop catches and so relatively little is made of it when he lives up to expectations. Perhaps he benefited from Kamran Akmal’s presence in the Pakistan side. This guy would fit into a West Indian side without any fear of him being described as slick. Teflon looked good with the bat and was gutsy on the last day against Shoaib’s attack but his drop of Yousuf off a regulation leg side catch standing up to Bell was critically expensive.
I don’t subscribe to the current soft attitude to players’ family matters coming before their commitment to the England side. Peg Leg got away with the birth of his first child during the Trent Bridge test in 2004 because it happened overnight. Strauss’ departure from the Pakistan tour is ridiculous. He was either available for the tour or not. His performances both with the bat and in the field suggested that his mind was elsewhere and they should have left him behind. Banger was going to miss the second test because of his father in law’s illness. Where will it all end? Priorities need to be clearly established.
Unseemly Umpiring
We have all got used to the ridiculous antics of the Pipsqueak Kiwi but at least they don’t interfere with the play. However, Faisalabad witnessed the lamentable development of an international umpire trying to get into the game. Daryl Hair was the guilty official and I suppose that we shouldn’t be too surprised since he has got previous form in this department. It was he who called Murali for throwing in Australia in the nineties.
In Faisalabad he kicked off by effectively stopping Kaneria from bowling. He warned him from running on the wicket twice and so Kaneria who likes to bowl close to the stumps was forced to bowl from wide of the crease. All other bowlers in the match bowled close to the stumps on occasion but none were warned. He then turned his attention to Salman Butt who he twice warned for running on the pitch whilst batting. This created a new record as on the second occasion Butt’s single was disallowed and he had to return to the striker’s end. Hair rubbed salt in the wound by giving him out LBW next ball. Younis Khan engagingly took the piss out of Hair by exaggeratedly jumping sideways off the track before taking a single when he next got down that end. When Inzy got to the wicket he ran (sic) straight down the middle of the wicket and Hair completely ignored it.
On the other hand the action taken by the Match Referee against Afridi for his disgraceful pirouetting on a length at both ends during the bomb scare was entirely in order. Hair’s antics were unwarranted and can only come under the “clever dick” category.
News from the Professor’s armchair
I received this update from the Professor: “I have just heard that WGCCC have signed Aaron Laraman for next season. He has the advantages (for us) of both being a very good player with first class experience and being much less likely to abscond to Rotherham with the Club's money.”
I replied: “Presumably you identified him at Headingley in April? Does he see this as a step up the ladder?”
To which I got the response: “Undoubtedly. He's going to work for Martin James, by comparison with which, his position at the Cricket Club will seem like security itself.”
Appalling Fielders
The entire Pakistan side are making a collective bid to join this dubious category. They are led by Inzy who sets the example by using his feet rather than his hands whenever possible in the field. This is if the ball is hit straight to him, if it is either side he just watches it on its way. He looks as if he would not be at all embarrassed to watch proceedings from a deck chair at extra cover.
Danish Kaneria has decided to be the worst fielder in world cricket and is simply appalling in all aspects of this feature of play. These two seem to have dragged the rest of the team, which includes some previously competent if not good fielders, down to their level. It’s all hard on their bowlers who took about thirty wickets in Faisalabad and still didn’t bowl England out twice.
Match Report
In earlier editions I recounted how South Hampstead had lost in the inaugural Wills Trophy final against Hornsey at Lords in 1968 and then having reached the final again the following year lost to Ealing at Finchley.
In 1970 the Legendary Len Stubbs was again our captain and our first real test was in the quarter final at Finchley. Terry Cordaroy held our innings together with a patient 92 and we closed our forty five over innings on 222 for 6. Our bowlers, with Dick Boothroyd to the fore, did well to reduce a very strong Finchley line up which included Selwood, Milton and Hayes, to 145 for 8. But this was the game, recalled by Bill Hart at Southend, in which Ron Hooker had a leg side theory about their bottom order and we ended up winning by just four runs.
The semi final was at Milverton Road against Barnet. We batted first but despite a quick fire 46 from the captain we found ourselves at 89 for 5. However, Bob Peach first with Robin Ager and then with Bill Hart steered our score to the relatively respectable 175 for 7. Barnet never recovered from Bill Hart’s opening assault when they were reduced to 39 for 5. When Bill returned and took the final wicket his figures were 4 for 31 and Barnet were all out for 142.
The final was held at Hornsey against Ealing on September 9th. Bob Fisher tells me that it was a big event for Ealing as it was their centenary season and for him personally as it was his first season as club captain. We arrived in drizzle and the start was delayed until 1pm which consequently reduced the match from 55 overs to 45 overs per side.
South Hampstead batted first and I opened with Terry Cordaroy against Bill Hatchett and Willie Shaw who took the new ball for Ealing. I batted miserably playing and missing regularly to my partner’s consternation but we had put on 28 when I was eventually caught behind. This brought the Legendary Len Stubbs to the crease and our two premier batters took the score to 87 at a run a ball until the captain was run out by John Lindley who hit the stumps at the bowlers end from mid on. We then suffered a collapse with Peter Rice, John Bowerman, Bob Peach and Allen Bruton being dismissed cheaply by Peter Mitchell. When Terry was also out we had slumped to 111 for 7. Bill Hart batted the only way he knew how by swinging lustily and he scored an invaluable 42 which enabled us to post a scarcely adequate all out score of 160.
When Ealing batted Bill Hart quickly dismissed Brian Stevens but neither he nor Ian Jerman had any further success against Brian Puddephatt and Alan Heighes who took the score to 83. It was Don Wallis who made the breakthrough first having Heighes caught and then he bowled Dave Roberts. With Ealing at 95 for 3 we were in with an outside chance of victory but Alan Price hammered a rapid 29 in twenty minutes which took the game away from us. Dick Boothroyd dismissed him and then got Puddephatt as well to finish with 2 for 16 from his nine overs. Our only other success came when our skipper, who always liked to give himself a bowl, bowled Bill Hatchett before John Poore and John Lindley saw Ealing home with four overs to spare.
Whilst Ealing celebrated a second successive Trophy win South Hampstead completed a miserable hat trick of losses in the final. Once again we knew that we had under performed, which made it all that much more frustrating. The umpires on this occasion were E de Winter and George Coleman and for Nostalgia Trainspotters the scorers were Audrey Hawdon and Norman Springall.
Over the Hill?
When we organised the first South Hampstead re-union in 2004 we had some difficulty deciding on a focal point for the afternoon. In the event there was plenty of entertainment provided by a first eleven match against Paddington. However, although I don’t think it was ever mentioned, there was always the possibility of the re-unionees performing in a match amongst themselves although I didn’t want to be the one to suggest it. This may have been overly sensitive on my part as several of the attendees were indeed still playing regularly.
This reticence was put into perspective by an article in the November edition of the Wisden Cricketer which described a celebration match played earlier this year at Broadhalfpenny Down to mark Bob Barber’s seventieth birthday. The match got underway with Donald Carr and Jack Bailey umpiring whilst the new ball was taken by Fred Rumsey and Ian Thompson who is 76. One of the opening batsmen was Ian McLachlan who is one of the Professor’s chums from WGCCC who came over from Australia for the occasion. Tom Cartwright was apparently the pick of the bowlers whilst Roger Knight was the day’s top scorer. Mike Brearley almost managed the ignominy of a negative score, under the rules of the day, and the proceedings were watched by Bomber Wells from a wheelchair. Bob Barber, who now lives in Switzerland, scored runs with his old flair and bowled the final over which saw the match finish in a contrived and predictable tie.
Trainspotters’ Corner
In the last edition I listed some extracts from the first class averages for 2005. The Great Jack Morgan was quick off the mark with this reply:
“Defenders of A Strauss and G Jones would point out that they had to play against the likes of Warne, while county batters had to play against the likes of Peploe. G Jones’s record amongst keepers was even worse that you indicated because in addition to the chaps you mentioned, N Pothas (best of all at 51.21), T New (38.25, though I don’t think he actually did any keeping last season), S Davies (36.5), W Hegg (33.46), R Wessels (31.21), N O’Brien (26.81), M Wallace (25.74), R Turner (25.5), P Mustard (24.14) and C Gazzard (23.75) all had better batting averages. I think Davies and New are the coming men. Did you do the WC’s readers’ poll? I finally had to come off the fence because they asked who should be keeping for England. I have my doubts about Read’s ability standing up (and I hear that he kept poorly in an end of season televised championship match... did you see it?); you raised doubts about Batty’s pedigree (though he was again competent v Middx at the Oval); and other pundits have questioned Prior’s skills with the gloves (though again he has always done pretty well when I have seen him), so I ended up awarding the position to J Foster. I ignored what happened at Southend as that was viewed through a Red (wine) Mist, but I had seen quite a bit of him in NZ in 2002, where he showed some promise with both bat and gloves, though at that time I was strongly in favour of the return of A Stewart.”
John Isterling made the following observations: “Whilst I am not a particular supporter of Geraint Jones in the keeper's role, it has to be remembered that his figures are at test level which I think you would have to admit is a higher level than 1st class. The same argument also applies to the other contracted players with the exception of James Anderson. Mark Ramprakash has never cut the mustard at test level and I think his omission was correct.”
He was also able to explain why a batsman who comes in for the last ball of an innings at the non strikers end finds it necessary to equip himself with a helmet: “the 'last ball' could well be a no ball or a wide off which a single is run leaving the man to face the last ball.”
Nouveaux Umpires
I seem to have found better ways to get up Peter Ray’s nose in this journal than I ever did batting against him. He was quick to fire off this response to last month’s article:
“You really must check your sources more carefully. When I am less busy - at the moment the ACU&S has problems which I, and certain others, are trying to get put right, resulting from its time with the appalling Barrie Stuart-King (or Barrie King, as he was originally) as chairman; there is useful info on www.ecomallbiz.com/easy1 and click on Club Cricket news - I shall give you the proper story about my 8 lbws, which was in my first Premiership umpiring engagement, not my first ever umpiring (what I suppose you could call) outing.”
We wait with baited breath.
Peach’s Thirty Three In the last edition I gave the list of first class players who have played at South Hampstead. Bob Peach’s thirty-three had grown to thirty-six. Ian McIntosh has now sent me a further nine names:
Grant Bradburn NZ
Gary Steed NZ
Martin Breedy Cambridge University
Peter King Victoria
Junior Clifford Worcs
Kit Fawcett Auckland and Natal also an All Black
Gomez son of Jerry Trinidad
Darren Foster Somerset
David Toosie Middlesex
This takes Peach’s thirty three to forty five and so it is not inconceivable that we could reach a half century. I suppose someone will then have to devise a dream team from these illustrious sometime colleagues….
Red Mist Matters
In their opening tour match in Pakistan the England side came up against Shehzad Malik who batted at number eight and top scored with 37. Earlier this year he played in a forty five over match in Hertfordshire for Langleybury against the Middlesex Tamils. He scored a staggering 403 not out in this match in an innings which included thirty eight sixes.
In the one–day international between India and Sri Lanka at Jaipur in October chasing 299 to win the Indians sent in their wicket keeper, Mahendra Dhoni, at number three. He proceeded to take the bowling apart and finished on 183 not out in an innings, which included ten sixes and fifteen fours.
Mention must also be made of Red Mist Afridi who sat at Faislabad for a couple of hours waiting to come in whilst Inzy and Yousuf added 150. Then Bell caught and bowled the latter on the half volley and welcomed our hero to the crease with a wide. His next ball was on the strip and Afridi launched it over long off one bounce for four. The next was fuller and it was hammered for four to long on. The next ball was cut powerfully for a third consecutive four. Harmison replaced Bell and he showed respect to his first ball, which was a slow delivery. His second was another slow ball and Afridi launched it into the upper deck over wide long on. He added another five sixes during his innings of 92. Incidentally Pakistan hit thirteen sixes during their first innings which comfortably exceeded England’s ten on the first day at Edgbaston in August.
Mumsies
Occasional reference has been made in these pages to Alan Cox’ wafer thin pads. Alan played for Paddington when I first encountered him and he started playing for the South Hampstead Saturday side in the late sixties. He would not have had many opportunities at number eleven to bat in these powerful batting line ups and it was probably when he started playing on Sundays as well that someone noticed his pads. Alan had an old style cricket bag which was long enough to take a bat but which had a clasp in the middle at the top. His pads would lie flat at the bottom of this bag occupying almost no space at all. When removed they flapped about like corrugated cardboard and had little more substance. They were off white in colour and he presumably inherited them from the same person who donated the bag. They may explain Alan’s reticence to get in line on the rare occasions when he did get to the crease.
In the early sixties the Legendary Len Stubbs had had outings with both Somerset and Hampshire second elevens but by the late sixties he had been tempted to lend his talents to Hertfordshire. Before this sojourn he had been a swashbuckling clean hitting destroyer of all bowling. After a few outings with his new county he returned to the South Hampstead fold and everyone was amused by his new shot, which turned out to be an exaggerated forward defensive block. It stood out all the more because an enormous new pad accompanied his bat, when playing the shot. The pads were not long but wide and tremendously thick. I think that it was Allen Bruton who noticed that the ball came off the pads faster and harder than it did off the bat when he played his new shot and got the line slightly wrong. He then dubbed the pads Len’s “three spring pads”.
I asked Steve Thompson if he had any thoughts on this fascinating topic. He replied “Cords had the most distinctive pads. Slightly creamy, there was that deformed left one, which I'm sure if you looked at him chest on was facing square leg as a consequence of his constant tugging it square on to the bowler between deliveries. I think Ranji Kerai had the pads with the best middle; he sported a pair of those light grey asbestos coloured pads with incredible bounce, they were the equivalent of the original Gray Nicholls scoop bats. I'm not sure what Len's three springers were but I suspect Ranji's were at least five springers. I recall he was almost caught off bat and pad at extra cover once.”
Paddington and related Matters
Denis Jones sent me the following notes
I thought you might be interested in the following few paragraphs, with an interesting coincidence that my cousin, who emigrated to Canada about 40 years ago, should locate a collection of press cuttings from almost 70 years back, and although all about his uncle, has a strong link-back to the Paddington club of today.
On his recent annual visit from Canadian shores back to dear old blighty, my cousin brought with him several press cuttings and other scrapbook memorabilia regarding the very bright but tragically curtailed cricketing career of his uncle, Paul Brooks. Although he leapt to fame for a bowling feat, he was primarily a batsman, and in the one first class innings he had for Middlesex, prior to the intervention of WWII, scored 44 not out against Warwickshire. However, Paul died in 1946 from injuries sustained on active duty in Italy during the War.
Over the years, the story of 'the boy who bowled Bradman' was mentioned to me on several occasions by my father, whose sister married Paul Brooks' brother. Although it was only in the nets at Lords, back in 1938 Bradman was such a colossus that it made national headline news, especially as Paul was on the groundstaff, and aged just 16. However, these press cuttings, apart from the full-page spreads, and various cartoons on the incident, also show that Paul Brooks was playing club cricket with Paddington around that time. A local newspaper includes a report on Paul scoring his first century for the club in a match against Lyons at Sudbury. It goes on to state that Paddington declared at 214 for 2, with Paul's opening partner, ''F. Pryke'', being 84 not out. This is, of course, none other than our current Chairman, Fred Pryke. Fred, who is now approaching 90 not out has just been re-elected Chairman at our annual AGM, although concern was expressed that we now have evidence from these cuttings that he was a bit on the slow side even as a young man!! On reading the report, Fred said that he could clearly remember the day, and advised that Paul Brooks was not only a fine cricketer, but a fine young man.
Items of note from our AGM were the election of new joint Captains, Steve Bunning and Anthony Saunders, taking over from Tim Miles, and the election to Life Membership of several lady members, who following the sadly premature death of their husbands have continued to support the club, and still often attend our matches. Doreen Bennett, Judy Bunning, Peggy Chapman, Sue Cox, and Brenda Shepperd probably all deserve medals as well for the 50 odd years that they have been journeying around the North Circular/South Circular/M25 not just in loyal support of their husband, and subsequently their sons, and grandsons, but in helping towards a good social atmosphere at the clubs we visit. I was going to add that they all also made a good sandwich, and always had spare food, but that would seem chauvinist, sexist, etc, and you can edit it out anyway!!
Ealing Matters Whilst liaising with Bob Fisher on other matters, I asked him how 2005 was for him
I captained Ealing 4th XI in 1987 League last season. We finished runners up to Alexandra Park 3rd XI. We should have won the League. In final game needing to win for the championship, playing against Acton 3rd XI, they were 117-9 chasing our 176 with 14 overs remaining. We then proceeded to drop three catches, one a dolly and they won by one wicket with just over an over to go!
On a personal note, I am not sure how much longer I will continue to play. I have agreed to captain the fourth team again next season and I feel fit enough to continue, but the games in which I am content with my personal performance behind the stumps are diminishing and I suspect it will not be much longer before the enjoyment in playing will be a thing of the past.
Sparks
On a hot day in the seventies when South Hampstead played at Wembley the pop group Sparks had hired the adjacent Wasps pavilion to rehearse before their first, and no doubt only, UK tour. The windows had been thrown open to make up for the lack of air conditioning and the odd drum or guitar sound had been heard as the group warmed up. Don Wallis was captaining the South Hampstead side and, after selflessly allowing others to use the new ball, decided to show his unsuccessful opening bowlers how seam bowling should be applied. He marked out his run and then commenced his approach to the wicket. Exactly on cue Sparks broke into their one and only UK hit, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us” at deafening volume. Don halted in his tracks and demanded silence before he would continue.
I asked Peter Ray whether he had played in this match and he replied:
Yes, I was there. When the Sparks were flying, I mean. For some reason, we had the then captain of the second eleven playing for us - his name is eluding me at present but at five to three I shall sit up and shout his name; no, wait! It's coming, it's coming. It was John Cope - a Welshman who was like many of his compatriots, a schoolmaster. We formed a little skirmishing party and went over the fence to beard the noisy bastards who, as you may know, had opened all the windows where they were rehearsing. We delivered an admonishing message and did get the windows closed, at least, after putting the manager, an acned youth of nineteen summers or so, in a bit of a tizz. "Darn't speak to the band, darn't speak to the band," he cried, rushing up and spreading his arms wide to screen them off, as if we might pass on some appalling infection. "Don't be bloody ridiculous," said Cope and gave them a good wigging. As we made our way back to the ground, Cope said to me, quite seriously - it was a good few years ago and political correctness had not yet blighted our fair island - "I cane a dozen buggers like that every bloody week." I believe they went off to the States and made more money and had more tail than I ever dreamt might exist. Ho, hum.
I was talking to Steve Thompson about other matters and so asked him if he had any recollections of this memorable event He replied: “I most certainly did. Recollections are sketchy but I do recall the combined egos and might of Ray and Wallis were insufficient to match those of the erstwhile chart toppers who continued to rehearse despite their protestations from below the open window of the Wasps' pavilion; a case of This Ground Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us. I remember the song started with a distinctive chord which was struck just as Don pushed off his mark to bowl his first ball of the afternoon. He was stopped in mid stride and never quite regained his composure for the rest of the afternoon's fielding stint.”
Strange XIs
Last month’s Strange XI did actually all wear the same Jazz Hat. During my correspondence with the Great Jack Morgan I failed to identify this side despite various proffered clues. He finally put me out of my misery: “You knew that they were all the same age-group and that they comprised a balanced team, therefore this was an actual team. You knew that it was an England-strength team, but you also knew that the games they played were not in the reference books and so they were not approved by the authorities, therefore it was a “rebel” tour. You knew that I had omitted someone whose name would have given it away: obviously Gatting. Yes, you’ve got it now: they all toured South Africa in 1990 with Gatt’s “Rebels”. Incidentally, others I left out were J Emburey, C Broad, G Dilley and N Foster.”
The Great Jack Morgan has set you what he considers an easy one this month. If it is of any help he divulges that “there is no keeper in this category, as far as I am aware, unless you count Straussy, who has deputised on the odd occasion.”
Andy Strauss
Kevan James
Francis Ford
Irfan Pathan
Umer Rashid
Chris Peploe
Matt Creese
Chas Taylor
Chris Batt
Ron Bell
Paul Hutchison
What Jazz Hat fits these guys?
Earlier Editions
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