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G&C 235

GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 235
July 2022
 
Spot the Ball


 
Mid-season Review
As is the vogue nowadays Googlies would like your views on current matters and trends
 
  1. At the Champions League Final Liverpool Fans were sprayed with Tear Gas outside the ground. It has been suggested that this practice is implemented in the UK against Liverpool fans before all of their Premier League matches. How do you feel about this:
  1. Strongly Disapprove.
  2. Mildly disapprove.
  3. Mildly approve
  4. Strongly approve
 
  1. Following England’s whitewashing of New Zealand, it has been recommended that Brendan McCullum is recognised appropriately. Do you think:
  1. He should get the OBE
  2. He should be knighted
  3. He should be made a peer
  4. He should jump above Charles in line to the throne.
 
  1. Jonny Bairstow played some impressive innings in the New Zealand series. How do you rate his performance?
  1. It was a flash in the pan and will never be repeated.
  2. He has always had the potential but has just been unlucky
  3. He has improved his technique and will now follow in the great Yorkshire tradition of test match batsmen
  4. He is the best batsman in the world at present and should have been made England captain.
 
  1. A number of England’s faster bowlers appear to be taking a sabbatical this summer. What advice would you give them?
  1. Snap out of it and stop malingering.
  2. Fire all of the fitness coaches and study the training routines of Trueman and Statham.
  3. Give up trying to bowl fast and slip the groundsman a sweetener to prepare greentops next season.
 
  1. There are various views as to the performance of the Prime Minister. Where do you fit into the spectrum?
  1. Alexander is a genius who continues to solve all of the nation’s problems and the population should be grateful that he is prepared to devote his time to their welfare.
  2. He is a self-serving, lying bastard who should be removed as soon as possible.
  3. Lie detectors should be installed at the Palace of Westminster.
  4. He should be held criminally responsible for the genocide in the Care homes that he oversaw in the spring of 2020.
 
  1. You find yourself arrested by the Woke Police at a Gay Pride Rally for incorrectly using personal pronouns. How would you react?
  1. Apologise and ask how they would like to be addressed.
  2. Tell them they should wear a sign round their neck if they want to be treated differently from everyone else.
  3. Tell them to bugger off.
 
  1. You are planning a day out at the test match. Which items should feature in your kit bag?
  1. A trumpet
  2. Earplugs
  3. An Ostrich outfit.
  4. The sheet music to Sweet Caroline.
 
  1. Now that we all live in the world of pandemics which of the following diseases do you fear most?
  1. Chickenpox
  2. Monkeypox
  3. Borispox
 
 
Out & About with the Professor
 
OK, so we all now recognise that what was a decidedly discontented winter has been made  a glorious June by these sons of, er, Christchurch, Dunedin and East Dulwich. Only the simple, straightforward question remains…how?
 
How can the team that played in Australia and the West Indies be playing like they are and, in particular, batting like they are? Were it a new team, the answer would be simple – the selectors have chosen the right players for once. But it is substantially the same batting side as in the Caribbean. Indeed only Lawrence has dropped out of the first seven who played all three Tests, making way for Pope, who had himself been dropped following a very poor Ashes tour. Prior to his 145 at Trent Bridge, Pope had scores of: 10, 7, 5, 14, 4, 5, 4, 35 and 2 – not exactly the stuff to force instant recall. Four of the seven had scored hundreds in the West Indies but only Stokes in Barbados had batted anything like what now appears to be the new normal for England – belt the ball out of the park as soon as possible. These are therefore the same players who could only manage 320 runs in total in Grenada in their two innings; now 320 looks like the sort of score they expect to knock up in an afternoon.
 
The bowling is, of course, transformed, as England rattle through their stock of available quick bowlers, and Woakes, Overton C, Fisher, Mahmood, Robinson, and Wood all swell the ranks of the recently discarded or injured, or both. The opening “attack” of Woakes and Overton in the Caribbean looked about as friendly as it could be and Brathwaite and Bonner clearly enjoyed practising their forward defence for hours on end. Whether Potts and the other twin will prove to have longer careers at the front of the attack who knows, they certainly looked a lot more likely to bowl a Test side out.  England’s sole spin bowler also appears to have experienced some form of transformation and instead of bowling flat yorkers, as he did in the West Indies, has tried taking wickets instead. So, the question remains…how?
 
In other walks of life one turns to experts to explain complex and seemingly unpredictable events and in cricket we are fortunate to have analysts and “pundits” of all sorts to help us understand what is going on. And what do they have to say? Well, “there’s been a big change”. Yes, we know that but why? Well Stokes has been a “breath of fresh air”. Splendid, so why does this atmospheric change explain this stunning change in batting performance from the same players? Most notably, of course, Bairstow’s blitzkrieg batting – just the 71 from 44 in the last innings. Well, Bairstow has “brought his white ball game into the Test arena”. Yes but…  Oh, give up. In short, nobody knows. 
 
And perhaps there has not been any real change. Writing this column in the middle of a Test is something of a mug’s game. Will England bat against India as they have against New Zealand or will we all revert to type and play in a more “traditional” way. Of the Stokes’ new style of crash-bang Test match batting, who, apart from Root, Bairstow and Stokes himself, can actually do it?  It would be nice to think that Crawley could and, in the process, actually score some runs, but when has he? Pope’s hundred was nicely composed but was pretty much as he always bats and, as noted, something of an aberration in his recent Test innings. Finally, Lees, tiptoeing his way into Test cricket, also shows no real signs of thrashing the ball to the fence from the first over. So who is going to do it?
 
Bairstow, of course, has been quite stunning in his recent performances. I don’t recall ever seeing a Test batter, let alone an English one, play in the way he has in these first four matches this summer. Three hundreds can be added to those he got in the Caribbean and Australia to give him an extraordinary total for 2022 (so far). But it’s not just the numbers, of course, has any Googlies reader ever seen an English player set about the bowling like this in one after another Test matches. Truly astonishing.
 
But… is this a new style? Assuming India set England a substantial target for a fourth run chase, can we really expect to see both swash and buckle all the way down the batting order. I hope so, we all hope so, but I have been watching England play Test cricket for more than 60 years now and, frankly, I would be more than a little surprised. Perhaps, in the end, a glorious June may be followed by a (sadly) more prosaic July.
 
 
 
This & That
 
One of the new franchises, the Gujarat Titans, won the IPL in the final played in front of a 105,000 crowd. They beat the Rajasthan Royals comfortably with three overs to spare. Hardik Pandya captained the side and is now leading India in their series against Ireland. During the campaign Jos Buttler scored 863 runs including four centuries which made him the leading run scorer (Orange Cap) in the 2022 IPL and second only to Kholi with 973 in any IPL campaign. The Purple Cap for the most wickets went to the leg spinner Yuzvendra Chahal.
 
Earlier in the competition Quinton de Kock claimed the third highest score in Indian Premier League history. Lucknow Super Giants posted 210-0 as De Kock hit 140 not out, with 10 fours and 10 sixes from 70 balls. De Kock and KL Rahul, who made 68 not out from 51, became the first opening pair to bat throughout an IPL innings. The two higher innings were played by Chris Gayle who hit an unbeaten 175 for Royal Challengers Bangalore in 2013 and Brendon McCullum who scored 158 not out for KKR in the first IPL match in 2008.
 
Paul Stirling somewhat surprisingly did not feature in the IPL but Warwickshire snapped him up for their T20 campaign and he didn’t disappoint scoring 119 from 51 balls in his first outing in an innings which included 10 sixes. He scored 34 from one over during this innings.
 
Alex Hales continues to be one of the most formidable batsmen in world cricket and he can make any total seem derisory. Against the Derbyshire Falcons, led by Shan Masood, Notts were set 179 to win and they achieved it with three overs to spare thanks to Hales’ 91 from just 33 balls. Somerset were set a similar target (175) against Glamorgan and Will Smeed took them home with six overs to spare making 91 not out from 41 balls.
 
Birmingham Bears posted a new T20 Blast record total of 261-2 on their way to a 55-run win over Notts Outlaws. Sam Hain hit an unbeaten 112 from 52 balls and Adam Hose 88 not out from 35 balls with ten sixes as the Bears' total went past the previous best of 260-4 scored by Yorkshire against Northamptonshire in 2017.
 
Essex had reached 149 for 4 in the 15th over against Sussex but Daniel Sams then scored 71 from 24 balls to take them to 244 for 7. Miles Hammond opened for Gloucestershire against Somerset and hit four of the first six balls of the match for six. Gloucester reached 101 in ten overs and Somerset were reduced to 54 for 7 before Roelof van der Merwe scored 48 from 15 balls to see his side home.
 
Meanwhile in the County Championship the runs keep piling up. Surrey scored 671 for 9 against Kent without any batsman scoring a hundred and then reached 673 for 7 against Kent in the return match with four batsmen reaching three figures. In Durham’s match against Worcestershire at 429 for 7 Ravindra (217) and Borthwick (96) had already been dismissed but Raine (103) and Coughlin (100) then added 216 for the 8th wicket before they declared at 642 for 7.
 
Luke Wells has had a strange history at Lancashire following his move there from Sussex sometimes batting down the order and even being used as a bowler. But he was opening against Warwickshire and scored 175 not out as his side reached the 329 needed for victory. Ali Orr performed a similar feat for Wells’ old county scoring 141 as Sussex reached a fourth innings 345 for 5 to beat Derbyshire.
 
Mention should be made of Simon Harmer who took 8 for 46 and 7 for 161 on a bunsen at the Rose Bowl. It must have been turning a lot as Liam Dawson also took 10 wickets in the match.
 
Apparently at Headingley Jack Leach bowled 28 of the first 80 overs. Only one spinner has bowled more in the first 80 overs of a Headingley Test - South Africa left-armer Cyril Vincent in 1935.
 
Bangladesh were reduced to 24 for 5 against Sri lanka but Mushfiqur 175 not out and Das 141 added 272 to get their side up to a respectable 365.
 
Yorkshire’s Finlay Bean has set a new record for the highest score in a 2nd XI Championship match. The 20-year-old opener scored 441 runs from 518 balls, including 52 fours and three sixes, against Nottinghamshire. He batted for 712 minutes and Yorkshire later declared on 814 for 7. The previous highest score in the 2nd XI Championship was 322, set by Marcus Trescothick for Somerset against Warwickshire in July 1997.
 
 
Morgan Matters
 
Lancashire and England pace bowler Saqib Mahmood is out for the rest of the season because of a back injury (a lumbar stress fracture actually)... then it emerged that another England pace bowler Matthew Fisher is also out for the season with (guess what) a stress fracture of the back! Other England pace bowlers currently out injured are: J Archer, M Wood, O Stone and O Robinson, who was thought to be over his injuries then went down with food poisoning.
 
Jonathan Liew, in the G, tells us that Worcester's Alex Hepburn was sentenced to 5 years in prison for rape and that his partner in crime was England squad man Joe Clarke, who somehow got away with a ban for  four county matches, a fine of £2,000 and an official reprimand from the ECB. Liew does not think Clarke should be representing England.
 
The June Cricketer tells us that:
Sci-fi/ comics writer Paul Cornell marveled at the way that "Nasser Hussain transformed England using brains, craft and an outsider's mentality";
Nasser Hussain tells us that his "dream day at the cricket" was the "double drama in 2019" with the super over in the World Cup final and the Headingley Test;
Huw Turbervill expects "Stokes to be assertive and bullish and deploy bold tactics...it will be a welcome change"
Vic Marks thinks that "England's new chiefs may find that attacking cricketers are the best option for the Test team"
John Etheridge tells us that Sir Alastair Cook once said "obviously" 39 times in one press conference
John Crawley says that "Shane Warne was very, very good at giving confidence to people, he made everybody feel like they could be the best player in the world"; and
Sussex chairman Jon Filby tells us that "treating people like me who like red-ball cricket as nerds who should be embarrassed and sent to the margins- that's nonsense".
Tom Harrison, chief executive of the ECB, is to step down from the role next month with Clare Connor (former England captain, current managing director of women's cricket and president of MCC) lined up as an interim replacement.
Balls: a fresh batch of balls has been delivered to each county before this week's Championship fixtures after Dukes admitted there have been "issues" with some of those used this season. Durham captain Scott Borthwick said the quality of the balls he has seen had been "shocking" after there were 7 unscheduled ball changes during Durham's victory over Glamorgan, including five in one day.
 
"Middlesex legend" Owais Shah has rejoined the club as a "white ball batting coach".
 
England pace bowler Jofra Archer will miss the whole season after suffering a stress fracture of the lower back.
 
In addition to Archer, England's list of injured pace bowlers includes Mark Wood, Saqib Mahmood, Olly Stone and Matthew Fisher.
 
Middlesex captain Peter Handscomb is leaving the club to join Australia A for their series v Sri Lanka A before returning home "for family reasons" (obviously not urgent ones!)
 
The county "select squad" (of 12) to play NZ is: J Blatherwick (La), M Burgess (Wk), B Compton (K), B Gibbon (Wo), N Gubbins (H), T Haines (Sx), L James (Ng), R Patel (Sy), L Patterson-White (Ng), J Porter (Ex), O Robinson (Sx) and D Sibley (Wk).
 
With Handscomb's departure, T Murtagh will take over as capt of the red ball and one-day cup sides. Mx have signed Oz pair Jason Behrendorff and Chris Green for this year's T20, they come in for Shaheen Shah Afridi and Mujeeb Ur Rahman.
 
Middlesex have replaced P Handscomb with Pieter Malan (SA) for the remainder of this season. Malan has played 172 first class matches hitting 12,116 runs at an average of more than 46. He spent part of last season with Warwickshire where he played 6 Championship matches and was 2nd in their Championship batting averages with 37.66 including one ton, he did not take any catches or do any bowling. He played 3 Tests for SA v England in 2020.
                 
In the G, Andy Bull has a full page on Ben Compton, who after a "decade on the periphery" is currently the leading batsman in the country and today he plays for the County Select XI v NZ.
 
I had to get the Times today in the absence of the G and they have 12 pages on the Champions League final! Talk about overkill. My response was to read none of it! They did give us a list of the England spinners with the most Test wickets:
 
          D Underwood 297
          G Swann 255
          Moeen A 195
          J Laker 193
          GAR Lock 174
          M Panesar 167
          F Titmus 153
          J Emburey 147
          H Verity 144
          A Giles 143
          W Rhodes 127
          P Edmonds 125
          D Allen 122
          R Illingworth 122
          P Tufnell 121
          J Briggs 118
          J Wardle 102
          B Peel 101
          C Blythe 100.
The bloke most likely to join them is J Leach on 79.
         
The Times tells us that Rs are set to appoint Aston Villa's Michael Beale as the new manager. Beale was Steven Gerrard's right hand man both at Villa and previously at Rs before the pair moved to Villa Park.
 
TSRJ is second in the list of wicket takers in the Championship this season on 30, Matthew Potts of Durham (and England) has 35.
 
England's oldest surviving Test cricketer Jim Parks has died aged 90. He scored 36,673 first class runs from 739 games and played 46 Tests between 1954 and 1968. He finished with a total of 1,087 fc catches and 94 stumpings.
 
Middlesex bowler Ethan Bamber has been presented with his county cap. He has taken 103 first class wickets at an average of 25.
 
Chairman of the ICC, Greg Barclay, believes there will be significantly less Test cricket played in the future by some of the of the present Test nations and there will not be any expansion of the women's programme.
 
James Taylor has left his role as head scout for the England men's team. R Key is looking to implement a new structure for selecting the men's teams.
 
The July Cricketer tells us that:
Surrey boss Richard Thompson is the favourite to be the new ECB chair; a truly horrible looking shirt is to be the main feature of the new England ODI kit;
Moeen Ali was made an OBE in the Queen's Birthday Honours;
Graham Thorpe was seriously ill in hospital.
Andrew Symonds died in a carcrash in Queensland aged 46
Marnus Labuschagne tells us (several times) that he loves life in Cardiff and Glamorgan.
columnist Scott Oliver's favourite player is Steve Dean "the Minor Counties maestro"; 
Kevin Pietersen makes county cricket fans apoplectic by his incessant pleading for a franchised four-day competition.
Mike Brearley has learnt a lot about South African cricket from his old friend and Middlesex team-mate Vintcent van der Bijl;
James Coyne tells us all about the rock bands that have appeared live at the Oval in the last 50 years;
Middlesex have described Pieter Malan as the "perfect replacement" for departing Peter Handscomb;
Pat Pocock has a short letter praising Surrey chair Richard Thompson whom he does not want to leave the Oval, but thinks English cricket would "gain hugely" if he joins the ECB;
on Doug Walters, Dennis Lillee says "there will never be another Doug, he was so cool".
 
Ryan Giggs has stood down as Wales manager with immediate effect because he does not want to "destabilise or jeopardise" their WC campaign with speculation over his upcoming trial on charges of domestic violence.
 
England's new white-ball coach Matthew Mott is backing captain Eoin Morgan despite recent failures and injury saying "those failures will light the fire for the summer ahead"!
 
As expected, EJG Morgan has retired from international cricket, but will continue to play "domestic cricket"... is that cricket in the back garden? The G says that Eoin "is a unique figure in cricket history, an Irish revolutionary who became one of England's all-time greats" and "he was simply the best of England's one-day captains, the Brearley of the blitzkrieg".
 
Laddies That Lunch
Dick Bond sent me this
I’m not sure I can remember the last time we lunched together but I’m guessing it was almost certainly in the school dining hall. What was odd, as James Sharp commented, was how little he thought we’d changed despite the passage of so many years.
 
The professor was hosting Frank Foreman and his wife for a few days and thought the opportunity too good to miss. Lunch at The Pine Marten in Harrogate in the company of John and Frank was enough to get James Sharp and I heading to God’s own country. And what a lunch. It’s odd how easily you can slip into relaxed conversation after fifty seven years and that was even before we’d started on the alcohol.
 
I have vague memories of school dinners, of the professor spiking my water with salt and remarking on how hot it was that day in an attempt to get me to take a swig. Which of course I did, damn him! Or of the prof being told by Mick Johnson, that lovely man, to eat his food up. “It’s alright. Sir” said the prof, “I’m not that hungry.” “Look” said Mick “You eat that up, there are people in the world who are starving.” The prof’s response elicited a wry smile of defeat from Mick “Well sir, why did you give it to me then?”
 
I have to report that all of us ate our Pine Marten food, even the greens although the food was almost incidental. James was his usual chirpy and irreverent self, Frank more considered and, though not physically the man he was, he was unmistakably Frank and the passage of time has certainly not dulled his memory. I could barely name three of the staff on the old school photo despite Frank’s cries of “Oh come on Dick, you MUST be able to get at least the front row!”
 
John was his usual self, thoughtful, considered and with that laconic wit. I realised he’s always been a Yorkshireman if truth be told.
 
The conversation never slowed but we realised we’d reached another milestone in our lives, another incarnation of man in his inevitable journey through time. At school we’d chat or brag and swap stories about girls and football (mainly!) or discuss our next venture onto the sports field at the weekend. As men the talk progressed through stages – sporting success or failure, not much of the former for me, turning to family and on to the midlife crisis period of derring do and adventure gradually turning in later life to talk of this year’s progress of our vegetable crop and the size of our runner beans. We’ve finally entered the period of diagnosing the problems of cricket and suggesting solutions interspersed with brief reports on our deteriorating bodies, a topic with so much potential (the cricket not us). England’s ills provided a rich seam to be mined and I’m not certain but I seem to recall one of us suggesting that we should simply pick better cricketers. Bit radical of course but it might have legs unlike Manu Tuilagi who is the rugby team’s equivalent of Joffra Archer. Both are invested with such hope by the sporting public but who, it seems, are destined for the ‘if only’ footnotes in the sporting annals. Racism in the game merited a brief discussion and, for me at least, some reflection on my youthful attitudes which were less than perfect. It did though bring to mind a match, I think, against London Schools when Steve Wright trapped LBW on the front foot a lad of Afro Caribbean origin whose loud protest to the umpire was a forthright “Oh come on umpire, play the white man!” It particularly amused Jack Morgan as I recall.
 
I started these musings a few weeks back and I finish them now in a state of shock as England have just beaten the Kiwis at Lords thanks to Root (a Yorkshireman of course) and the Third Umpire (benefitting both sides, I know). Lessons will be learned, the main one being that you should never buy a ticket for the fifth day of an England test.
 
School days, they say, are the best of your life. Well, f*ck me, if that’s true the rest must have been bloody awful but there’s no doubt, as lunch at the Pine Marten confirms, the company was great!
 
 
 
Barnet Matters
 
Many of the cricketers such as Matthew Potts and Tom Smith seem to be opting for the short back and sides look to which their barbers have given the name “gradual fade”. My grandfather would have called it a “tuppeny all off”. However, Gloucestershire’s Ryan Higgins has bucked this trend and retained long locks which he sweeps upwards with the aid of a sophisticated Alice band arrangement. The overall impression is that of a wannabee Marge Simpson.
 
Ged Matters
Ged (Ian Harris) spends time at headquarters
 

 
 
Charley the Gent and I had not seen live cricket together since late season 2019. The ridiculously long interval was not exactly my fault, although Charley griped about it several times during the first hour in the style of a grudge.


But soon the pleasures of a May day at Lord’s softened Chas’s mood… as did the new padded benches in the pavilion – the rump ire of the past now largely averted.

 
Behind us, a couple of old fogeys, unaware that the softer seating should soften their hearts, maintained the pavilion users’ tradition of irritability, whinging about the new stands.

 
“They look hideous… cost a ridiculous amount of money… seating’s not fit for purpose, apparently…” were a few of the phrases we heard.

 
“I like the look of them. Have you tried sitting in the new stands yet?” asked Charley.

 
“Only the very front of the new Lower Compton,” I said. “Not sure what it’s like up top. Today’s the first day the weather has seemed suited for giving it a try.”

 
“Looks a long walk up,” said Charley, contemplating the hike.

 
“I’m pretty sure there’s a lift we can use,” I said, which was enough encouragement for us to explore that side soon after an alcohol-free lunch, which centred around a mixture of wild Alaskan salmon and smoked trout bagels.


Charley and I struggled to work out what the old fogeys meant by “not fit for purpose”.

 
The lifts enable far more people to access the top of the new stands. The sight lines are excellent, so there is barely a restricted view in the whole stand. The wind tunnel effect of the old lower stands has been mitigated by design. There are far more seats, enabling the MCC to recoup the cost more quickly and enabling more people to watch cricket live at Lord’s on big match days. Each seat is more comfortable – i.e. padded and bigger – than the old stand seats.

 
“Do you want to go back round to the pavilion?” I asked, as the sun started to go down and the chill of a May late afternoon started to set in.

 
“No thanks,” said Chas. “It’s glorious watching from here.”
 


Old Danes Gathering
 
The Last Old Danes Gathering will take place on Friday 29 July at Shepherds Bush CC. The day is the final day of the club's cricket week. The Gathering will commence at 2pm but attendees will be welcome throughout the afternoon.
 
This is not a gathering of cricketers and all Old Danes, their partners, friends and even non-Old Danes will be welcome. There is no dress code for the event and no prizes will be awarded for the oldest attendees.
 
I am circulating a list of attendees and apologies on a separate circulation list. If you would like to be added to this list please let me know.
 
Googlies Website
 
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
 
www.googliesandchinamen.com
 
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
tiksha@btinternet.com









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