G&C 278

GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 278
February 2026
 
Spot the Ball

 
Out and About with Professor - Home thoughts from Down Under
 
“There’s no point” (in a phrase attributed to Samuel Goldwyn) “in having a post-mortem about something that’s dead”. Well English cricket isn’t dead, but this Ashes series, sadly, is.
 
It’s time therefore to pick over the bones, which I’m sure the English cricket press has already done. 4-1 is undoubtedly failure, and an abject one at that.
We are perpetually being told that sports teams look for the “positives”, and there are a few here: Root (obviously), Bethell (obviously), Brook (obviously(ish)), Tongue (perhaps a little unexpectedly) and Stokes (his numbers are not great, but he bowled himself into the floor to make up for the deficiencies of his team, and the general feeling here is that he should continue in the side, should he want to).
 
But that, more or less, is that.
 
“Negatives” are rather easier to find. Even when one or other of the openers has been scoring it makes nerve-wracking watching but Duckett’s 202 runs from 10 innings was hopeless. Jacks’s dropped catch, average bowling and appalling swipe to leg off his second ball must mean the end, at least for a while, of his Test career. Ditto with Smith, at least as a wicket keeper; it’s an experiment that hasn’t worked, and Labuschange made him look a fool when he batted, which cannot be an easy thing to live with. He is a wonderful striker of a cricket ball but hitting great shots is not the same thing as playing an innings….certainly not a Test innings. It’s almost as if he doesn’t know where the fielders are, but if we do why doesn’t he? Carse had moments but bowled poorly in the first innings of the Sydney Test and too short before, and Potts was unbowlable at the end. By comparison, the maturity of Bethell’s innings give some hope for the future.
 

 Webster to Bethell who lifts the ball over wide mid-on for his first hundred
I’ve been asked a few times if I was “disappointed” at the result. It’s not really the right word. Disappointment is a function of expectations and after 15 overseas tours supporting England, my expectations were always low. “Frustration” would be a better word. Will we ever have a better chance of winning in Australia: their’s wasn’t a great side, they had three great bowlers missing for all or part of the series and we had the two top ranked batters in the world. And we lost so badly and so stupidly. In all five Tests we had an opportunity to win had we just played some better/more intelligent cricket. The Australian side was superior in only one area, and that was fielding. If we add wicket keeping, vastly superior. How could we be so bad? Someone has calculated that we dropped 19 catches. Some of these are a little fanciful (I listen to commentators, like Hussain, saying: “That’s a drop” or “That’s a fumble” when the player has dived full length and got a finger under the ball. Most of us will have seen Hussain field…and it wasn’t exactly fumble-free) but Brook, Carse, Smith and Jacks all dropped catches that one would expect to be caught in a club match.
 
Going with a group on tours like these generally means access to various functions and after-play events. I went with Black Opal, which is fronted by Gladstone Small and David Gower. I had dinner with David Gower one evening and we talked a lot about well, er, David Gower, his career and his family, “Beefy” (I thought I knew all the stories about Botham’s drinking, but apparently not) and cricket matters in general. Gower is professionally affable, I think, and speaks well of almost everybody, although he doesn’t like Labuschange (join the queue) and I sensed there was still a little resentment about Gooch - after only 30+ years. Gower described it as having “philosophical differences” with the then England captain. I’m not quite sure what school of philosophy was invoked. These functions often include a cricket “celebrity” (not an issue finding one, since Gladstone and Gower know everybody) which on this trip featured: Merv Hughes, Jason Gillespie, David Lloyd, and Darren Lehmann. Jason “fucking” Gillespie won the prize for the most swearing (about every fifth word), Bumble for being the most amusing (he really does perform a good live act), but Lehmann for being, by a distance, the most interesting. His advantage, over all the others (and many commentators) is that he’s still deeply involved in county cricket. He confirmed what he had said before the tour started, that no one from the England management had spoken to him in the last few months about players or, presumably, anything else. That is a shame (as well as poor management) because not only did he go through the mistakes but was also able to offer some suggestions.
 
The mistakes? Well, fairly common ground I think: the quicks bowled too short, you should never do that in Australia (we all know that, so why did they?). The preparation was “rubbish” (we all know that so…). The boundaries are bigger than in England so six-hitting often fails (we all know that…etc). Player after player “threw away” fifties or hundreds when all they needed to do was bat with a little common sense (we all…) The experiment with Smith has failed because, succinctly: “He can’t fucking catch”. In sum, he felt, as did many of us here, that England had contributed much more to losing the series than Australia did to winning it. At times, Lehmann sounded almost angry at some of the cricket England had played.
 
What to do? Well, Lehmann turned up prepared with a little list. Remember he is looking at county players all the time, and not just in Division 2. “Boof” had 18 names from which he thought future England sides should be picked. They are, in no particular order:
 
Boof’s List:
DeCaires.
Vaughan.
Rew Brothers.
Tribe.
Hill.
Harrison.
Archer.
Atkinson.
Tongue.
Foakes.
Duckett.
Brook.
Root.
Smith (as a batter)
Ahmed Brothers.
Bethell.
 
“Lots of talent – needs using properly”. Quite.
 
Some final thoughts:
 
*Bethell’s hundred was an important moment; he should, obviously, have played from the start. “Loyalty” to Pope was understandable, but misplaced.
 
*Bashir should have played in the last Test; it did turn, despite the predictions - Jacks bowling of Smith was evidence.
 
*I was never convinced about Potts, having seen him belted all around Headingley in the last county match of the season…one that saw Durham relegated to Div 2.
 
*Stokes’ captaincy was tested to its limit and, frankly, did not always pass. He is, we know, an inspirational rather than contemplative leader, and he was badly let down by his remaining bowlers (always remembering that three went home). He lost control of the field at times, but then if your bowlers can’t bowl a length, that makes life a little difficult. Still the comparison with the Australian field placing was stark; Smith/Cummins knew how English batters were going to play and so they set the fields appropriately, that is to say, ultra defensive ones. From the first ball of each innings they had two, or even three on the fence. Five out four in, was commonplace. At one time, when Labuschange bowled to Bethell, he had eight boundary fielders. An “Australian field” used to be a horseshoe of slips, now it is a circle on the fence.
 
*Stokes also should not have fielded on the last morning of the Sydney Test. We all know why he wanted to, but he missed (didn’t even lay a hand on) a catch in the slips (when did he last field there?) which was really a regulation chance and might, just might, have had an impact on the result. When defending a small total, you need nine fully fit fielders and not sentiment.
 
*England have to learn (when will they ever learn?) how to play properly in Australia and play as if they truly want to win.
 
*The support for England was magnificent. I read that 40,000 supporters had watched the five matches. The Army were in pretty good voice throughout; Carey and Smith were regularly booed, and Smith normally entered to “Cry on the tele, you always cry on the tele.” “Normally”, because if both openers are out, Smith joins Labuschange, and their greeting is “Two twitchy weirdos at the crease”.
 
*This was my fourth (and last) Ashes trip. The team has only once (2012/3) returned with the “urn” but there have other compensations: the vibrant cities, the dramatic countryside, etc. One such “compensation” was a drive, some years’ ago, to Rupertswood, the mansion just inland from Melbourne, to stand on the spot where the Ashes trophy, the “urn” (put together by Ms. Frances Morphy and a “boy of the House”) was first presented to the then England captain, the Hon. Ivo Bligh. Bligh brought it home and a few months later brought Frances home as well. The “Ashes”, which began as a metaphor, gained a physical existence not as a sporting trophy, but as a love token. Not much love lost since.
 
Of those four visits, Australia clearly had a superior side on two occasions, but not, I think, on this one. So, “frustrating” in the extreme.
 
 
This & That
 
David Warner was captain of the Sydney Thunder in the Big Bash this season and he must have got fed up with his side’s lack of success while he was batting down the order. In Match 21 he opened and made 130 not out in a total of 205 for 4. He hit nine sixes in this innings, but the side’s effort was not enough as the Hobart Hurricanes romped home with two overs to spare. In their next match Warner was 67 not out as his side fell 6 runs short of Adelaide Strikers 165 for 8. He then made 82 out of 133 when he was out against the Brisbane Heat who comfortably strolled to victory. He didn’t play in their next match but in the following one scored 110 not out, but his side were beaten by the Sydney Sixers for whom Steve Smith made a 42 ball hundred. This was a remarkable sequence by Warner of personal achievement, but his side still ended up bottom of the Big Bash League.
 
Abishek Sharma must be a bowler’s nightmare. He generally plays a shot a ball and always scores quickly. Unless you get him out! In the recent T20 series between India and New Zealand he was out first ball twice. But in the other games he scored 84 from 35 balls, 68 not out from 20 balls and 30 from 16 balls. In total 172 from 71 balls which is a strike rate of 242. In his innings of 68 he scored off every ball he faced. In the final match of the series Ish Kish scored 103 from 43 balls including 10 sixes.
 
I should also mention Harry Brook in this big hitting tribute. In the third ODI in Sri Lanka, he scored 136 not out from 66 balls in an innings that included 10 sixes.
 
 
 
 
Thompson Matters
I should point out to those who don’t know him that I could keep wicket to his slow left armers without wearing gloves…
 
The subject of the fitness, or the lack of it, of international fast bowlers is now it seems an integral part of any discussion about forthcoming selections for tours or matches. Whether it’s Wood, Archer, Cummins, Bumrah, Hazelwood or any number of others it seems keeping the out and out quicks fit is nigh on impossible. However, few if any of the 90 mph brigade can have endured quite the struggle to regain their fitness to bowl competitively than Ricardo Ellcock.
 
As a fifteen-year-old in 1980 he gained a scholarship from Combermere School in Barbados (its Old Boys include Frank Worrall, Wes Hall, Clyde Walcott and Gladstone Small) to Malvern College. At sixteen he was scaring the living daylights out of club batsman in Herefordshire and Worcestershire and by seventeen he was making his first-class debut for Worcestershire. All too soon the first of two major back operations saw him in a half-body plaster cast for six months and then after rehabilitation and rejection by Worcestershire a move to Middlesex. Along with Neil Williams, Norman Cowans and Roland Butcher he became one of four West Indian born Middlesex players to represent England in that period. It was on the 1989-90 tour of West Indies having been picked to be part of the ‘fire with fire’ attack alongside Gladstone Small, and Devon Malcolm that he broke down again in the nets before the first competitive match. In a desperate attempt to cure the projectile-vomit inducing back spasms he visited an acupuncturist only to be reminded by Tour Manager Micky Stewart that the world was in the middle of an AIDS epidemic. So desperate did he become that not long after he even persuaded room-mate Nasser Hussain to spray WD40 on his lower back!  A further six months in plaster failed to sustain his fitness and his cricketing career ended in 1991 at the age of 26.
 
I had the good fortune to hear Ricky speak recently about his career and his life post-cricket where he became the first black pilot for Virgin Atlantic. It is fair to say that he is one of the best public speakers from the world of cricket I’ve heard. Erudite, witty and a master of the perfectly chosen expletive, his book, ‘Balls to Fly’, is a rare example of a non-ghosted sporting autobiography.  As if his medical travails as a cricketer weren’t enough, a fall up some stairs on board a 747 meant a major knee operation before he could resume piloting. Unbeknown to him that fall had set up a slow bleed in the brain which four years later almost killed him. He never flew again.
 
He discussed the issue of injuries to fast bowlers. He was in no doubt that those who bowled at 90 mph plus would all have serious back injuries. The human frame was not designed for fast bowling. Prior to back-scanning techniques many would have bowled through injury with debilitating consequences for later life. He referred to Dennis Lillee being one of the first to have a stress fracture confirmed by scanning in the early 70’s. Lillee altered his action and dropped his pace a little to ensure a longer career. Malcolm Marshall dealt with his pain by ‘eating Voltarol’ and teammate and great friend Gus Fraser’s stress fracture impeded the early days of his career.
 
He reflected on the importance of captains when it came to bowlers staying fit to bowl. At Worcester, Phil Neale would toss him the ball without giving him any sense of whether he would bowl three or fifteen overs. As a consequence he held back on pace in case it was the latter. In contrast, Gatt would say that he wanted four of his fastest overs from him and then he could have a long break. Without doubt better player management.
 
I spent a few moments speaking with him. It turned out that while completing his Masters he lived in Dollis Hill and remembered writing the final few pages in what he described as a dingey cafe on Willesden High Road.
 
Despite all of the traumas revealed through the many medical challenges of his life it is the final chapter of the book which I found to be the most powerful. In it he recounts almost forty examples of racism that he encountered in his cricketing and aeronautical life. The world of English professional cricket in the eighties and early nineties does not emerge well.
 
Author Anthony McGowan describes the autobiography as, ‘A genuinely inspiring story of human resilience’. It really is.
 
Double Berry Matters
I mislaid Les’ first communication before the last edition and so this month we get a double dose
 
I wanted to get this to you before whatever awaits England occurs at the Gabba in the early hours of tomorrow ... my thoughts might end up being coloured (one way or the other, pink maybe) by events in Brisbane by late morning UK time!
 
So, I've just come back from an excellent seven weeks' holiday in Australia and I worked out that, with a bit of scheming and subterfuge applied to our itinerary, I could stay a few days longer than my other half and see the beginning of the Ashes.  We had ended up in Fremantle and so it was a simple matter of me moving the short distance into Perth to take up a motel room quite near to the Perth Stadium.  All through the holiday, but mainly towards the end of it and as matchday loomed, I was feeling desperately sorry that due to family and other commitments I could only stay for the first two days, and that I was going to miss the climax of the first Ashes match.  As we now know I need not have fretted, as returning home on Sunday 23rd turned out to be a masterstroke ... when not too many master strokes had been played throughout the previous two days.  The goings-on after lunch on day two have been documented and picked over ad nauseam so I won't dwell but suffice it to say that even after England's very ordinary (thanks, Richie) batting display I, along with many other England fans, Barmy and otherwise, still thought we had a chance.  Hindsight being a great thing we now, of course, know the sad, unhappy ending ... I just wish I'd had a few quid on Australia to win inside two days when the afternoon session began.
 
It felt like fans, both home and away (note Aussie reference there), were in a state of shock and nobody could quite believe what they were seeing.  Many stopped drinking, well almost, as the match took on its incredible turn of events.  By the end many travelers who'd come from around nine thousand miles away were wondering just how the next three days could be spent, and I sensed that suggestions of boat trips and museums weren't quite cutting it for the cricketing devotees in their respective groups. 
 
I shared a couple of 'cold ones' at close of play/end of match, and we were philosophical about it all ... we'd seen history being made, we'd seen records being broken, in a funny way we felt quite privileged to see it all unfold ... and of course being Middlesex members we're used to disappointment.
 
And then:
 
As always the latest Googlies is a great read, and everything is accurately observed by all involved.  I particularly enjoy the New Year edition because of Old Wanker's Almanack (who thought of that name?!) and just like with the (inferior) original with a similar name, I like to watch out for how many predictions come true.  I got quite spooked as a kid by my dear old Mum buying it and telling me how many folk would be wiped out by earthquakes during the coming year ... I seem to remember having to check that Shepherds Bush wasn't due one.
 
I had to smile when realising that references to Jamie Smith's 'style of batting' had come under scrutiny in Googlies even before his latest dismissal this morning at the SCG.  Yes, it was a moronic shot to play in the circumstances, and I'm not given to defending any Surrey player whatsoever, but I do think the criticism levelled at him today was over the top and unnecessary.  It was as if he, and he alone, brought about England's premature collapse from a position of promise ... a poor show by our media I say.  However, yes, it was still a shit shot!
 
Googlies also expressed a view about how the Aussie fans tend to behave when they win a cricket match, and that's not without lots of sound evidence over the years.  However, and I won't stick up for any Aussie cricket fan any more than I will any Surrey wicketkeeper/batsman, I didn't really experience this at the first Test.  Maybe every fan from both camps was so numbed by how quickly everything played out that the Aussies didn't have time to plan and direct their wild insults towards those of us capable of speaking the King's English.
 
And also, while on my Australian holiday, I took in a T20 between Australia and India in Tasmania, as I'd always wanted to visit the Bellerive Oval.  As you will know the stadium is beautifully situated oceanside, and as it holds fewer than twenty thousand is not an enormous, impersonal concrete bowl like others. Arriving at a cricket ground by ferry was a novelty I hadn't experienced before, but because the ground is across the bay from Hobart it was the best way to get there ... and of course being Australia the ferry had a bar!  I wasn't expecting the crowd to be made up of predominantly blue supporter shirts because Hobart doesn't have a huge Indian population (2.3% of the city, Google tells me), but I'd not realised that Indian fans will travel a long way to watch Bumrah and his mates ... and so I'd estimate the crowd was 70% 'Blue'.  And they did make quite a din (it might have been Hyderabad rather than Hobart!) and their 'lead drummer' was sat just a couple of rows in front of me.  My seat was next to a couple of really nice Tassie guys and after the game was up for Australia we decided that we'd be better off heading back to the ferry ... and the bar.  A very pleasant social evening was had, so see, Aussies don't always act like ex-convicts when they lose!   
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                       Crocks Corner
In this era when bowlers have to carry out inappropriate fitness regimes and then spend more time on the treatment bench than actually bowling this feature celebrates the manifold complaints of these elite athletes. Feel free to submit anything you notice
 
 
“Captain Ben Stokes suffered an adductor injury on the fourth morning of the fifth Ashes Test to become yet another casualty of England's awful Ashes tour. Stokes bowled 10 deliveries from the beginning of play on Wednesday, then pulled up in his follow-through holding his right groin.”
 
 
Sharp Matters
Robin updates us on his grandson’s progress at Loftus Road
 
Just wanted to give you an update with Arthur Sharp (my grandson) and his progress with the QPR academy. Four years on and he's still there and doing very well with the under 12's. In particular, I wanted to touch on an incident which really brings home the level of racial abuse that still exists out there in European football and in this case at such a tender age.
 
Arthur had been asked to play in an under 12's tournament with QPR out in Madrid which went really well going out on penalties. He was also asked if he would travel out to Milan two weeks later in another competition but this time playing a year up with the under 13's. All was going well with the boys winning three and drawing one of the group matches putting them top of their group and with a tasty semifinal next day against AC Milan. Unfortunately, their last game of the group stages against Virtus Verona which QPR won 3-1, was to be their last of the tournament.
 
The Verona keeper took it upon himself to start doing a monkey dance directed at one of the black QPR players - unbelievable or realistic of children just 13 years of age? Because of this QPR decision was to withdraw from the competition - this made the local press as well the Sun newspaper - obviously strenuously denied by Verona!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Googlies Website
 
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
 
www.googliesandchinamen.com
 
Googlies and Chinamen
is produced by
James Sharp
Broad Lee House
Combs
High Peak
SK23 9XA
[email protected]
 
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