G&C 267
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 267
March 2025
Spot the Ball
Out and About with the Professor
So, it would appear that Steve Smith has higher ethical standards on the cricket pitch, than has Pat Cummins. Frankly, that is not a sentence I ever imagined thinking, let alone typing. After all, Smith was the tearful perpetrator of “sandpaper-gate” (tearful, of course, because he got caught…but tearful none the less), which was about as contrived a bit of cheating as it is possible to imagine on a cricket field – who was it, after all, who nipped into B&Q and bought a few sheets of extra-rough and handed them around in the changing room? So, he has some “previous”. However, the Afghanistan match gave him the opportunity to take the moral high ground over his Australian Test captain.
In the unlikely event of some Googlies readers not having read an account of that game, it featured an event very similar to the “stumping” of Bairstow in the 2023 Ashes Test at Lord’s. On that occasion, we all recall, Bairstow let a ball go passed to the keeper (Alex “that’s all you will ever be remembered for” Carey) scratched a mark behind the crease, and walked down the wicket to talk to whoever was at the other end (Stokes?). Carey threw the stumps down and Cummins successfully appealed. At the time, not too many people accused Carey (Stuart Broad excepted) but thought the appeal from the captain was a very poor piece of sportsmanship – in fact, the obverse of sportsmanship. England lost the Test, it will be recalled, by 43 runs.
In the ICC Trophy match in Lahore, the rather similar event was the running out of Noor Ahmed the Afghanistan No. 10. Noor had run a single on the last ball of the over, made his ground, and then, again, left his ground to talk to his colleague, assuming the over had been called. The ball was returned to Inglis who took off the bails and appealed. In both cases the batter had obviously left his ground on the assumption that the ball was dead, and was not attempting in any way to gain any advantage. But Smith’s response (standing in for Cummins in this match) was to withdraw the appeal. What a gentleman! I suppose a cynic (none of whom can be counted among the Googlies readership) might make a distinction between an Afghan No.10 in an ODI and England’s in-form middle order batter in an Ashes Test. It might even be thought that Smith, recalling the sandpaper tears, thought that another unsporting act might add more taint to his legacy. Who knows? But withdraw the appeal he did, Noor was out a few balls later and the match, as it happened, was a washed-out no result.
The problem, in both cases, it that the circumstances rely on the moral disposition of the captain – the saintly Smith versus the culpable Cummins. But don’t we have Laws of cricket to avoid this sort of reliance? We do, we have lots of them; 42 at the time of writing, (plus “Appendices”… of course) and one of them deals with the issue of when the ball is dead. Unfortunately, although great care and deliberation is taken over the drafting of the Laws, the one on Dead Ball (Law 20) is alarmingly vague. We all have played in matches where the umpire has called “Dead Ball” but this is, usually, in quite specific circumstances (the ball lodging in a batter’s pads, for example). Umpires do call “Over” but they don’t call “Dead Ball” five or so times during the over. Perhaps they should. Law 20 has seven sections, each of which has up to 15 subsections. The relevant one here (or at least one candidate for the relevant one) is 20.1.2. This injunction says that the ball is dead if: “it is clear to the bowler’s end umpire that the fielding side and both batters …have ceased to regard it as in play”. So, the ball is dead if it’s not live. Umm…as previously indicated, a great deal of thought has gone into this matter. But not only is the ball dead if it’s not live, in addition all 13 players have to agree on its demise. What if 12 agree, but Fred, who has been fielding at fine leg both ends, and is feeling more than a little disaffected, doesn’t? Do the umpires just ignore Fred (seems a bit unfair) or do they just assume that “the fielding side” means the captain (which amounts to the same thing) …and isn’t what the Law says?
So, it seems a bit of a muddle. Another Law (No. 30) covers the batter being in his/her ground, but that seems to be of little help. Law 30 only has a pithy eight subsections but none of them cover a player wandering off to have a chat assuming that the ball is dead. So perhaps the umpires should decide whether or not a player leaving the crease is attempting to gain some advantage (after all they have less and less to do – at least at international level). Or keep saying “Dead Ball”, or something. At the risk of exposing an egregious prejudice, one might question whether a Law of the game, that relies on the high moral integrity of Australian captains, could be considered as either entirely sound or perfectly drafted.
This & That
In the final T20 at the Wankhede England put India in to bat and they reached 95 for 1 in the power play. Abhishek Sharma's Abhishek brought up his fifty from 17 balls, then powered on to reach his century in 37 deliveries - the third fastest in a match between Test-playing nations. He hit 13 sixes which was another national record. Sharma scored his 135 from just 54 balls. It is the highest score by an Indian batsman in a T20 international and included 13 sixes and seven fours. as the hosts reached 247-9. England were then bowled out for 97 in the eleventh over which constituted a record defeat by margin of runs and they lost the series 4-1.
Alex Hales (remember him) became the second-highest run-scorer in T20 history but was on the losing side as Dubai Capitals beat Desert Vipers to reach the final of the International League T20. Hales made 67 from 32 balls as he moved ahead of Pakistan's Shoaib Malik and West Indies all-rounder Kieron Pollard. Hales has scored 13,558 runs and is now only behind West Indies opener Chris Gayle, who has 14,562 runs. However, like James Vince, he now lives overseas and will not feature in the Vitality Blast this summer but will instead represent the Knight Riders franchise in both Major League Cricket and the Caribbean Premier League.
England were comprehensively beaten again in the second one-day international in Cuttack as India clinched the series with a match to spare.
After setting their hosts 305 to win, England's struggles on tour continued as captain Rohit Sharma hit a majestic 119 from 90 balls to power India towards victory.
Pakistan continued their preparations for their Champions Trophy defence with a six-wicket win over South Africa as they pulled off the highest one-day international run chase in their history. Mohammad Rizwan and Salman Agha both scored centuries as Pakistan overhauled South Africa's total of 353-5 with six balls to spare. The pair shared an ODI record fourth-wicket stand for Pakistan of 260, as Rizwan made his fourth century in the format and Salman his first.
Twenty-one-year-old fast bowler Sonny Baker has been given a development central contract by England after impressing on the Lions tour of Australia.
Baker's only first-class match to date is the match against Australia A, in which he took 3-60. Baker, a right-arm quick who has been recorded at speeds around 90mph, came through the Somerset academy but left the county to join Hampshire after the 2024 season. He joins Hampshire team-mate John Turner and Leicestershire left-arm quick Josh Hull on England development deals, the level below the 27 players on full England contracts.
England's Champions Trophy bid began with a damaging defeat as Australia pulled off an epic chase of 352 to counter Ben Duckett's 165 in Lahore. England scored 351-8 which was the highest score in Champions Trophy history, only for Josh Inglis to make 120 not out from 86 balls to complete the chase with five wickets and 15 balls to spare. It was the highest score England have failed to defend in one-day internationals and also the highest successful chase in a global 50-over match.
England completed a miserable white ball run under Baz’s managership when South Africa beat them by seven wickets and twelve overs to spare in Karachi. After his four wides in the first over Archer took a couple of wickets but thereafter Klaasen and van der Dusson were untroubled, and the closest England got to a wicket was when Overton claimed he had deflected with his boot a straight drive onto the stumps to run out van der Dusson. The possible run out was sent upstairs where the replay was inconclusive and “Ultra Edge” was called on probably for the first time in such an instance. It showed that Overton was attempting to cheat as there had been no contact with his boot. Buttler had already resigned before the match, but he isn’t the problem. Hubris amongst the batsmen and absurd fitness regimes for the bowlers who find a spell in a T20 match too much, need to be addressed.
Defending in the Premiership deteriorates each weekend. The enormous central defenders are good in the air but useless on the turn and are starting to get worked out by the opposition. Many defenders are terrified of tackling in the box and start backing off with their arms behind their backs. John Stones repeatedly did this at the Emirates as Arsenal players were able to take unhindered shots and give Pep’s boys a thrashing.
The endless footballing statistics have become absurd. Who cares and what does it mean that van Dyk has made the most successful passes in the Premiership, as most of them were lateral or back to his goalkeeper? In the Pep City/Liverpool match the home side had 61% of the possession but were soundly beaten 2-0. Who decides what constitutes an “assist”? And a more relevant stat would be how many potential assists a player gave regardless of whether they were converted. Someone is making too much money out of this.
Shrewsbury Town striker John Marquis was sent off just 13 seconds into their 3-1 League One defeat at Peterborough, equalling the fastest red card from the start of a game in English professional football. But his mum will be pleased as he won’t have had time to get his kit dirty. The Shrewsbury captain's dismissal matches the record set by Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Kevin Pressman in 2000 for handling outside the area.
Meanwhile at Selhurst Park the Millwall goalkeeper, Liam Roberts, didn’t wait much longer and was also shown a Red Card after a flying head high kick on Crystal Palace striker Jean-Philippe Mateta in the eighth minute. Mateta was stretchered off and received 25 stitches on a severe laceration to his left ear.
They will both be welcomed into the Red Card Club by its current Chairman, Arsenal’s Miles Lewis-Skelly, who has collected two since Christmas.
Thompson Matters
The Professor’s observations in last month’s G & C that for him, ‘Cricket biographies can be dull, and autobiographies truly dire. The punning titles of (particularly) the latter are beyond puerile,’ prompted these suggestions for future as yet unwritten titles which would make ideal stocking fillers for him:
LIAM LIVINGSTONE, I PRESUME? Liam Livingstone
NEVER DUCKETT Ben Duckett
HIT THE ROAD ZAC - An edgy tale of unfulfilled promise by Matt Henry
ROOTS - A CRICKETING DYNASTY Joe and Billy Root
FIRST AMONG EQUALS by Jofra Archer
SALT OF THE EARTH Phil Salt
BROOK NO QUARTER Harry Brook
FOAKES BACK HOME by Various Test Selectors
RASH ON MY BALLS - Red or white? A modern-day leg-spinner’s dilemma. Adil Rashid
...and from overseas:
STARK REALITY - When the gloves come off being married to an international cricketer isn’t all it seems. by Mitchell Starc and Alyssa Healy.
A LYON’S TALE. Nathan Lyon
CHAMPAGNE LABUSCHAGNE - A cork-popping autobiography. Marnus Labuschagne
KANE AND ABLE - Kane Williamson
Of existing titles, Sunil Gavaskar’s ‘Sunny Days’ may well be up there on The Professor’s Puerilepunometer as might ‘Playing for Keeps’ by Alec Stewart. Special mentions go to ‘Uncorked’ and ‘No Holding Back’, whilst ‘There’s Only 2 Tony Cotteys’ begs a question.
Possibly one of the most unfortunate autobiographical titles of a previous era was that of Imran Khan’s ‘All Round View’ which for him is perhaps now sadly somewhat less expansive from his incarcerated position.
A last nod to the Professor’s excellent Bill Edrich reflection relates to John Warr who on being asked by an usher at wedding number five, ‘Bride or groom’s side, Sir?’ replied don’t worry, I’m a season ticket holder.’
The Champions Trophy Bazballsup post-mortem inevitably included some comments from Michael Vaughan with the over-emphasis on 90 mph bowlers and only one left-hander being his main criticism.
Nathan Leamon England’s Senior Technical Analyst espouses a theory that the gradual increase in the number of left-handers at the highest level of the game since the 90’s coincided with ever-improving neutral umpires and then the introduction of DRS which meant lefties were no longer being triggered when balls from right-arm over pitched outside their leg stump - stats put this at around 50% of deliveries.
Despite this, India has historically had the lowest percentage of lefties in their Test line-ups whereas Australia one of the highest. Left-handers struggling against spin-heavy attacks meant more Indians play right-handed. In contrast left-handers increasingly flourish on fast bouncy tracks hence. Perhaps. the plethora of great left-handed baggie greens. As a consequence, historically India very rarely win Test Matches Down Under and Australia do similarly poorly on the Sub-continent.
Statistics also show lefties scoring more heavily than their counterparts as the length of game shortens which is why. Presumably. Indian white ball sides are increasingly left-hand batter biased.
Being naturally left-handed I play every racquet- sport left-handed and bowled left-arm but batted right-handed. Given the traditional top hand dominant coaching technique for batting this always seems more sensible. and it’s always mystified me why more right-handers aren’t southpaw batters. Clearly eye-dominance will play a part but as the game develops it will be interesting to monitor the ratio.
When starting to coach four and five year-olds, some tennis coaches ask them to jump and spin round clockwise and anti-clockwise to see which way they are more comfortable and balanced before deciding whether they should play left or right handed irrespective of handedness. It might be interesting to see if that technique works with very young cricketers as they begin learning the game.
Adelman Matters
Ralph Adelman liked the Prof’s book reviews
I had other priorities early this month so I have only just read this month’s edition of G&C encouraged to do so by Mike Jordan. He was much taken with the Prof’s article which was inspired by his Xmas present books (well 2 out of 3).
The Prof’s article Tabloid Headline was “Sex and Cricketers” but the paragraph that resonated with me was:
“Tastes in cricket literature vary of course, like everything else. For myself the most satisfying cricket books are the ones that set the game in a social/historical context rather than presenting just a chronological account of matches or, even worse, an individual cricketer’s career. Cricket biographies can be dull, and autobiographies truly dire. The punning titles of (particularly) the latter are beyond puerile.”
Which is just what I would have written if I could write that well.
I only got one cricket book for Xmas. It was Richie Benaud’s Blue Suede Shoes. For one chapter (chapter 2) and sporadically elsewhere it did put the game in a social and historic context. But a lot of the rest was just team selections, newspaper articles, radio and TV commentaries and a very detailed description of the fifth test. After chapter 2, I was thinking this could be good but I got to the end purely through persistence.
Anyway, I shall take the hint and not ask for Stuart Broad’s Autobiography for my birthday. I do remember that Marcus Trescothik’s autobiography started very well and then drifted into being all scores and statistics.
Perhaps I should stick to reading fiction. I am off to the library this morning and I certainly won’t be looking for cricket books.
Pacey Matters
Brian Pacey provides his personal review of 2024 and looks forward to 2025
My first thought on last season was that the fixture list for the first round of County Championship fixtures, which had the 4 most northerly counties (Derbyshire, Durham, Lancashire and Yorkshire) all at home at the beginning of April. I wonder who came up with that idea at the ECB. There was never any chance of play at Chester-le-Street with the ground under water. I think I still had water coming up when I walked on my lawn in early April, after the wettest spring in the 29 years that we lived in South East Northumberland.
Not surprisingly, there was only one positive result with Essex beating what turned out to be a very poor Nottinghamshire side at Trent Bridge. I didn't actually go to watch a game until early June when we were visiting my wife's hometown in Perthshire, so I went (along to see the local club, Meigle play Corstophine, an Edinburgh side, in the East of Scotland Premier League. Meigle made 230 in their 50 overs played under the same playing conditions as the One Day Cup in England. Corstophine were about 130 - 5 when I left and were easily beaten.
My next venture was to the Riverside to see the first One Day Women's International between England and New Zealand. NZ had played a warm-up match a few days earlier against the England Lions and won quite comfortably, but it was soon quite obvious that that was insufficient preparation for playing against the full England side. This seems to be a problem with all tours now and I hope that the England men’s team give serious thought to having a proper 4 day warm-up match either against Western Australia and/or Australia A before playing the 1st test in Perth.
The women’s ODI soon became a struggle for NZ after Heather Knight put them into bat. Although Lauren Bell bowled 3 expensive overs at the start, Filer from the other end was distinctly sharp and too quick for NZ. After a few overs from Nat Sciver Brunt, the spinners Dean and Ecclestone took over and claimed most of the wickets. I found it very interesting watching Charlie Dean from a wide long on position in the stand, with how she varied her pace and flight but I didn't notice her bowl a 23 or 24 yard delivery - something I learnt from Fred Sheffield when I played at Honor Oak during my last 4 seasons in London. Tammy Beaumont and Maria Boucher made short work of the New Zealand total of around 150, with time to see a glimpse of Heather Knight after Bouchier was out. I had hoped to see some more of the England batters, but it was not to be. After the recent comments about the fitness of the England women during the Ashes series down under, I must say that I was quite impressed by their standard of fielding and fitness in this match. Perhaps it's simply easier to field well when your bowlers are on top.
I only paid one more visit to the Riverside in September to watch the 3rd day of the match against Notts. As is common these days, Notts put Durham in and saw them score 500 plus. I had hoped to see Oli Stone bowl in the 2nd innings, but after 1 for 110 in 20 overs, I don't think I would have been very impressed. However, after a young quick bowler from Lancashire had made a mess of Notts first innings, (sorry I've forgotten his name) by taking 5 wickets on debut, young James rescued the Notts 1st innings and took the match into the 4th day, but we had the farce of James having to come in again just before the close, after Fletcher, the night watchman had been dismissed 1st ball. On the performance I saw from them, I thought Notts were extremely lucky to avoid relegation.
Whilst all this was going on, I was watching with some interest the attempt by my adopted county, Yorkshire to gain promotion. An interesting fact is that when either Brook and/or Root played in the early part of the season, Yorkshire didn't win one match. I don't think they were helped by the wickets prepared at Headingley and it was noticeable that they won both the matches played at Scarborough, where the wicket is a little bit more helpful to the bowlers. The second match there against Sussex was much more interesting because the spinners played a big part in the game, something you don't see very often these days.
One result that I found strange was the Middlesex v Gloucestershire match at Lords towards the end of the season, where Middlesex tried out "Bazball" in the 2nd innings and got bowled out cheaply, believing that play on the 4th day was unlikely due to the weather forecast. In the event, Gloucestershire knocked off the runs on the 3rd evening and play would have been possible on the 4th day after all!!
Turning to England, I've probably watched the least amount of test cricket ever over the past 18 months. I did see Jamie Smith's innings at Edgbaston against the West Indies but also watched the debacle against Sri Lanka at the Oval. It was followed by a great performance in the 1st test in Pakistan, where the idea that our quick bowlers could bounce out the opposition on these slowish Asian wickets was probably formed. The tour also showed that our batsmen are incapable of playing good quality spin bowling on turning wickets, which was confirmed by recent events in India.
The news today that Jos Butler is stepping down as white ball captain was inevitable after our swift exit from the Champions Trophy. I have some sympathy for him, especially during the period when he was keeping wicket at the same time as captaining the side. On the few occasions that I did this when playing in Scotland, I found it very difficult to make minor adjustments in the field without the batsman being fully aware of what you were trying to do. I think Butler is not the only member of the team who is under pressure at the moment - Salt makes a decent score about once in every 5 innings, Livingstone isn't reliable - he played a terrible shot to lose his wicket against Afghanistan, and there must be some fitness question marks against Mark Wood after his latest injury. In one day cricket, Jamie Smith should not be batting at No 3. He seemed to think he had to attack nearly every ball.
We have India to deal with this summer and it wouldn't surprise me if they won the test series despite them not having a particularly good record in this country. They have got a good crop of decent quick bowlers now who will be quite a test for our batsmen (I hate the term "batters" - what is wrong with batsmen and batswomen?)
As regards the Ashes in the winter, I think everything will need to go right for us to bring back the urn, and even if one or two of the Australian quicks break down, they seem to have adequate replacements.
I can't see past Surrey for the County Championship and I'll be more than pleased if Yorkshire manage to stay in the 1st division. I'm not sure how they are going to bowl sides out now that Fisher has left for Surrey (how many quick bowlers does one county need?).
Crocks Corner
In this era when bowlers have to carry out inappropriate fitness regimes and then spend more time on the treatment bench than actually bowling this feature celebrates the manifold complaints of elite athletes. Feel free to submit anything you notice
“England Test captain Ben Stokes is set to miss this summer's Hundred to focus on his fitness for the Ashes in Australia at the end of the year. Stokes, 33, has not been retained by Northern Superchargers as the teams announced their new signings and initial squad lists for the 2025 tournament.
He tore his left hamstring during England's tour of New Zealand in December having only just recovered from the same injury that he suffered playing for Superchargers in August. The injury required surgery and he was ruled out for at least three months. England's next Test is not until they face Zimbabwe at Trent Bridge in May, but Stokes is aiming to be fit for the beginning of the County Championship season in April.”
“England all-rounder Jacob Bethell was ruled out of playing in Cuttack after sustaining a hamstring injury in the first ODI that will also cause him to miss the Champions Trophy.”
“The knee injury sustained by Mark Wood during the defeat by Afghanistan in Lahore on Wednesday is a major concern. Despite being seen walking freely around England’s team hotel on Friday, The i Paper understands the fast bowler will see a specialist on his return home from the tournament following Saturday’s final group match against South Africa. While England are awaiting more details on exactly what the issue with Wood is, it is feared that surgery to repair torn cartilage in his left kneecap will be needed.”
“Right-arm seamer Brydon Carse has now gone home from the Champions Trophy with a blister.”
Barnet Matters
I watched some of the Pep City v Plymouth cup tie and expected to see a team of rural locals in green but instead discovered that it was more like a United Nations representative XI. One of their defenders, Maxi Tolivierov, looked like the conclusion of a successful “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” game.
Eberechi Eze, the mercurial ex QPR, midfielder, has always gone in for the flamboyant tonsorial looks, and currently has a row of shoulder length dreadlocks which make him look as if he is wearing a French Foreign Legion hat.
Ged Matters
We are indebted to Ged’s spouse Daisy for this contribution
I had never been to a professional cricket match before. Until then, my entire experience of watching cricket was limited to:
My dad stopping the car and insisting on watching for a while if he spotted some random cricket on a village green or school playing field we happened to be passing. More recently, Ged’s attempts to get some charity cricket going with his colleagues and friends.
A few days before my first ever day at the Test, Ged moved into my flat for six weeks, while he was having his flat refurbished. Those six weeks became four months, but that’s a different story. My diary is light on detail about this match. Just the one word, “Oval”, about the cricket match. Lots of notes about a cashmere sale at Fulham Town Hall that I had intended to visit that day.
I made the picnic. Probably, in those days, I cooked some sausages in the morning and wrapped them in foil so they would still be warm for lunch. Nibbles of carrot and baby tomatoes no doubt. Probably sandwiches and biscuits as well.
There was a party atmosphere at that match. We partied like it was 1999 – which, of course, it was. A couple of events stick in my mind. A young woman, with a group of male friends, were all getting very drunk. Suddenly, the fulsome lass removed her top and ran around the stand topless, to the excitement of many in the crowd, until the stewards encouraged her to cover up and return to her seat. Ged said: “That’s it, baby. When you’ve got it, flaunt it!” and then had to mollify me by explaining the source of his quote.
We went home by tube. Ged told me that we might well see Bob Willis at the Oval underground station. We did not. Instead, we saw hundreds of fans who were alternately singing, “Nasser Hussain is having a party, bring some beer and a bottle of Bacardi,” and “Nasser Hussain is having a party, bring some beers and a packet of charley”. This seemed amusing at first, became tedious after two minutes and went on for at least 20 minutes.
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 267
March 2025
Spot the Ball
Out and About with the Professor
So, it would appear that Steve Smith has higher ethical standards on the cricket pitch, than has Pat Cummins. Frankly, that is not a sentence I ever imagined thinking, let alone typing. After all, Smith was the tearful perpetrator of “sandpaper-gate” (tearful, of course, because he got caught…but tearful none the less), which was about as contrived a bit of cheating as it is possible to imagine on a cricket field – who was it, after all, who nipped into B&Q and bought a few sheets of extra-rough and handed them around in the changing room? So, he has some “previous”. However, the Afghanistan match gave him the opportunity to take the moral high ground over his Australian Test captain.
In the unlikely event of some Googlies readers not having read an account of that game, it featured an event very similar to the “stumping” of Bairstow in the 2023 Ashes Test at Lord’s. On that occasion, we all recall, Bairstow let a ball go passed to the keeper (Alex “that’s all you will ever be remembered for” Carey) scratched a mark behind the crease, and walked down the wicket to talk to whoever was at the other end (Stokes?). Carey threw the stumps down and Cummins successfully appealed. At the time, not too many people accused Carey (Stuart Broad excepted) but thought the appeal from the captain was a very poor piece of sportsmanship – in fact, the obverse of sportsmanship. England lost the Test, it will be recalled, by 43 runs.
In the ICC Trophy match in Lahore, the rather similar event was the running out of Noor Ahmed the Afghanistan No. 10. Noor had run a single on the last ball of the over, made his ground, and then, again, left his ground to talk to his colleague, assuming the over had been called. The ball was returned to Inglis who took off the bails and appealed. In both cases the batter had obviously left his ground on the assumption that the ball was dead, and was not attempting in any way to gain any advantage. But Smith’s response (standing in for Cummins in this match) was to withdraw the appeal. What a gentleman! I suppose a cynic (none of whom can be counted among the Googlies readership) might make a distinction between an Afghan No.10 in an ODI and England’s in-form middle order batter in an Ashes Test. It might even be thought that Smith, recalling the sandpaper tears, thought that another unsporting act might add more taint to his legacy. Who knows? But withdraw the appeal he did, Noor was out a few balls later and the match, as it happened, was a washed-out no result.
The problem, in both cases, it that the circumstances rely on the moral disposition of the captain – the saintly Smith versus the culpable Cummins. But don’t we have Laws of cricket to avoid this sort of reliance? We do, we have lots of them; 42 at the time of writing, (plus “Appendices”… of course) and one of them deals with the issue of when the ball is dead. Unfortunately, although great care and deliberation is taken over the drafting of the Laws, the one on Dead Ball (Law 20) is alarmingly vague. We all have played in matches where the umpire has called “Dead Ball” but this is, usually, in quite specific circumstances (the ball lodging in a batter’s pads, for example). Umpires do call “Over” but they don’t call “Dead Ball” five or so times during the over. Perhaps they should. Law 20 has seven sections, each of which has up to 15 subsections. The relevant one here (or at least one candidate for the relevant one) is 20.1.2. This injunction says that the ball is dead if: “it is clear to the bowler’s end umpire that the fielding side and both batters …have ceased to regard it as in play”. So, the ball is dead if it’s not live. Umm…as previously indicated, a great deal of thought has gone into this matter. But not only is the ball dead if it’s not live, in addition all 13 players have to agree on its demise. What if 12 agree, but Fred, who has been fielding at fine leg both ends, and is feeling more than a little disaffected, doesn’t? Do the umpires just ignore Fred (seems a bit unfair) or do they just assume that “the fielding side” means the captain (which amounts to the same thing) …and isn’t what the Law says?
So, it seems a bit of a muddle. Another Law (No. 30) covers the batter being in his/her ground, but that seems to be of little help. Law 30 only has a pithy eight subsections but none of them cover a player wandering off to have a chat assuming that the ball is dead. So perhaps the umpires should decide whether or not a player leaving the crease is attempting to gain some advantage (after all they have less and less to do – at least at international level). Or keep saying “Dead Ball”, or something. At the risk of exposing an egregious prejudice, one might question whether a Law of the game, that relies on the high moral integrity of Australian captains, could be considered as either entirely sound or perfectly drafted.
This & That
In the final T20 at the Wankhede England put India in to bat and they reached 95 for 1 in the power play. Abhishek Sharma's Abhishek brought up his fifty from 17 balls, then powered on to reach his century in 37 deliveries - the third fastest in a match between Test-playing nations. He hit 13 sixes which was another national record. Sharma scored his 135 from just 54 balls. It is the highest score by an Indian batsman in a T20 international and included 13 sixes and seven fours. as the hosts reached 247-9. England were then bowled out for 97 in the eleventh over which constituted a record defeat by margin of runs and they lost the series 4-1.
Alex Hales (remember him) became the second-highest run-scorer in T20 history but was on the losing side as Dubai Capitals beat Desert Vipers to reach the final of the International League T20. Hales made 67 from 32 balls as he moved ahead of Pakistan's Shoaib Malik and West Indies all-rounder Kieron Pollard. Hales has scored 13,558 runs and is now only behind West Indies opener Chris Gayle, who has 14,562 runs. However, like James Vince, he now lives overseas and will not feature in the Vitality Blast this summer but will instead represent the Knight Riders franchise in both Major League Cricket and the Caribbean Premier League.
England were comprehensively beaten again in the second one-day international in Cuttack as India clinched the series with a match to spare.
After setting their hosts 305 to win, England's struggles on tour continued as captain Rohit Sharma hit a majestic 119 from 90 balls to power India towards victory.
Pakistan continued their preparations for their Champions Trophy defence with a six-wicket win over South Africa as they pulled off the highest one-day international run chase in their history. Mohammad Rizwan and Salman Agha both scored centuries as Pakistan overhauled South Africa's total of 353-5 with six balls to spare. The pair shared an ODI record fourth-wicket stand for Pakistan of 260, as Rizwan made his fourth century in the format and Salman his first.
Twenty-one-year-old fast bowler Sonny Baker has been given a development central contract by England after impressing on the Lions tour of Australia.
Baker's only first-class match to date is the match against Australia A, in which he took 3-60. Baker, a right-arm quick who has been recorded at speeds around 90mph, came through the Somerset academy but left the county to join Hampshire after the 2024 season. He joins Hampshire team-mate John Turner and Leicestershire left-arm quick Josh Hull on England development deals, the level below the 27 players on full England contracts.
England's Champions Trophy bid began with a damaging defeat as Australia pulled off an epic chase of 352 to counter Ben Duckett's 165 in Lahore. England scored 351-8 which was the highest score in Champions Trophy history, only for Josh Inglis to make 120 not out from 86 balls to complete the chase with five wickets and 15 balls to spare. It was the highest score England have failed to defend in one-day internationals and also the highest successful chase in a global 50-over match.
England completed a miserable white ball run under Baz’s managership when South Africa beat them by seven wickets and twelve overs to spare in Karachi. After his four wides in the first over Archer took a couple of wickets but thereafter Klaasen and van der Dusson were untroubled, and the closest England got to a wicket was when Overton claimed he had deflected with his boot a straight drive onto the stumps to run out van der Dusson. The possible run out was sent upstairs where the replay was inconclusive and “Ultra Edge” was called on probably for the first time in such an instance. It showed that Overton was attempting to cheat as there had been no contact with his boot. Buttler had already resigned before the match, but he isn’t the problem. Hubris amongst the batsmen and absurd fitness regimes for the bowlers who find a spell in a T20 match too much, need to be addressed.
Defending in the Premiership deteriorates each weekend. The enormous central defenders are good in the air but useless on the turn and are starting to get worked out by the opposition. Many defenders are terrified of tackling in the box and start backing off with their arms behind their backs. John Stones repeatedly did this at the Emirates as Arsenal players were able to take unhindered shots and give Pep’s boys a thrashing.
The endless footballing statistics have become absurd. Who cares and what does it mean that van Dyk has made the most successful passes in the Premiership, as most of them were lateral or back to his goalkeeper? In the Pep City/Liverpool match the home side had 61% of the possession but were soundly beaten 2-0. Who decides what constitutes an “assist”? And a more relevant stat would be how many potential assists a player gave regardless of whether they were converted. Someone is making too much money out of this.
Shrewsbury Town striker John Marquis was sent off just 13 seconds into their 3-1 League One defeat at Peterborough, equalling the fastest red card from the start of a game in English professional football. But his mum will be pleased as he won’t have had time to get his kit dirty. The Shrewsbury captain's dismissal matches the record set by Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Kevin Pressman in 2000 for handling outside the area.
Meanwhile at Selhurst Park the Millwall goalkeeper, Liam Roberts, didn’t wait much longer and was also shown a Red Card after a flying head high kick on Crystal Palace striker Jean-Philippe Mateta in the eighth minute. Mateta was stretchered off and received 25 stitches on a severe laceration to his left ear.
They will both be welcomed into the Red Card Club by its current Chairman, Arsenal’s Miles Lewis-Skelly, who has collected two since Christmas.
Thompson Matters
The Professor’s observations in last month’s G & C that for him, ‘Cricket biographies can be dull, and autobiographies truly dire. The punning titles of (particularly) the latter are beyond puerile,’ prompted these suggestions for future as yet unwritten titles which would make ideal stocking fillers for him:
LIAM LIVINGSTONE, I PRESUME? Liam Livingstone
NEVER DUCKETT Ben Duckett
HIT THE ROAD ZAC - An edgy tale of unfulfilled promise by Matt Henry
ROOTS - A CRICKETING DYNASTY Joe and Billy Root
FIRST AMONG EQUALS by Jofra Archer
SALT OF THE EARTH Phil Salt
BROOK NO QUARTER Harry Brook
FOAKES BACK HOME by Various Test Selectors
RASH ON MY BALLS - Red or white? A modern-day leg-spinner’s dilemma. Adil Rashid
...and from overseas:
STARK REALITY - When the gloves come off being married to an international cricketer isn’t all it seems. by Mitchell Starc and Alyssa Healy.
A LYON’S TALE. Nathan Lyon
CHAMPAGNE LABUSCHAGNE - A cork-popping autobiography. Marnus Labuschagne
KANE AND ABLE - Kane Williamson
Of existing titles, Sunil Gavaskar’s ‘Sunny Days’ may well be up there on The Professor’s Puerilepunometer as might ‘Playing for Keeps’ by Alec Stewart. Special mentions go to ‘Uncorked’ and ‘No Holding Back’, whilst ‘There’s Only 2 Tony Cotteys’ begs a question.
Possibly one of the most unfortunate autobiographical titles of a previous era was that of Imran Khan’s ‘All Round View’ which for him is perhaps now sadly somewhat less expansive from his incarcerated position.
A last nod to the Professor’s excellent Bill Edrich reflection relates to John Warr who on being asked by an usher at wedding number five, ‘Bride or groom’s side, Sir?’ replied don’t worry, I’m a season ticket holder.’
The Champions Trophy Bazballsup post-mortem inevitably included some comments from Michael Vaughan with the over-emphasis on 90 mph bowlers and only one left-hander being his main criticism.
Nathan Leamon England’s Senior Technical Analyst espouses a theory that the gradual increase in the number of left-handers at the highest level of the game since the 90’s coincided with ever-improving neutral umpires and then the introduction of DRS which meant lefties were no longer being triggered when balls from right-arm over pitched outside their leg stump - stats put this at around 50% of deliveries.
Despite this, India has historically had the lowest percentage of lefties in their Test line-ups whereas Australia one of the highest. Left-handers struggling against spin-heavy attacks meant more Indians play right-handed. In contrast left-handers increasingly flourish on fast bouncy tracks hence. Perhaps. the plethora of great left-handed baggie greens. As a consequence, historically India very rarely win Test Matches Down Under and Australia do similarly poorly on the Sub-continent.
Statistics also show lefties scoring more heavily than their counterparts as the length of game shortens which is why. Presumably. Indian white ball sides are increasingly left-hand batter biased.
Being naturally left-handed I play every racquet- sport left-handed and bowled left-arm but batted right-handed. Given the traditional top hand dominant coaching technique for batting this always seems more sensible. and it’s always mystified me why more right-handers aren’t southpaw batters. Clearly eye-dominance will play a part but as the game develops it will be interesting to monitor the ratio.
When starting to coach four and five year-olds, some tennis coaches ask them to jump and spin round clockwise and anti-clockwise to see which way they are more comfortable and balanced before deciding whether they should play left or right handed irrespective of handedness. It might be interesting to see if that technique works with very young cricketers as they begin learning the game.
Adelman Matters
Ralph Adelman liked the Prof’s book reviews
I had other priorities early this month so I have only just read this month’s edition of G&C encouraged to do so by Mike Jordan. He was much taken with the Prof’s article which was inspired by his Xmas present books (well 2 out of 3).
The Prof’s article Tabloid Headline was “Sex and Cricketers” but the paragraph that resonated with me was:
“Tastes in cricket literature vary of course, like everything else. For myself the most satisfying cricket books are the ones that set the game in a social/historical context rather than presenting just a chronological account of matches or, even worse, an individual cricketer’s career. Cricket biographies can be dull, and autobiographies truly dire. The punning titles of (particularly) the latter are beyond puerile.”
Which is just what I would have written if I could write that well.
I only got one cricket book for Xmas. It was Richie Benaud’s Blue Suede Shoes. For one chapter (chapter 2) and sporadically elsewhere it did put the game in a social and historic context. But a lot of the rest was just team selections, newspaper articles, radio and TV commentaries and a very detailed description of the fifth test. After chapter 2, I was thinking this could be good but I got to the end purely through persistence.
Anyway, I shall take the hint and not ask for Stuart Broad’s Autobiography for my birthday. I do remember that Marcus Trescothik’s autobiography started very well and then drifted into being all scores and statistics.
Perhaps I should stick to reading fiction. I am off to the library this morning and I certainly won’t be looking for cricket books.
Pacey Matters
Brian Pacey provides his personal review of 2024 and looks forward to 2025
My first thought on last season was that the fixture list for the first round of County Championship fixtures, which had the 4 most northerly counties (Derbyshire, Durham, Lancashire and Yorkshire) all at home at the beginning of April. I wonder who came up with that idea at the ECB. There was never any chance of play at Chester-le-Street with the ground under water. I think I still had water coming up when I walked on my lawn in early April, after the wettest spring in the 29 years that we lived in South East Northumberland.
Not surprisingly, there was only one positive result with Essex beating what turned out to be a very poor Nottinghamshire side at Trent Bridge. I didn't actually go to watch a game until early June when we were visiting my wife's hometown in Perthshire, so I went (along to see the local club, Meigle play Corstophine, an Edinburgh side, in the East of Scotland Premier League. Meigle made 230 in their 50 overs played under the same playing conditions as the One Day Cup in England. Corstophine were about 130 - 5 when I left and were easily beaten.
My next venture was to the Riverside to see the first One Day Women's International between England and New Zealand. NZ had played a warm-up match a few days earlier against the England Lions and won quite comfortably, but it was soon quite obvious that that was insufficient preparation for playing against the full England side. This seems to be a problem with all tours now and I hope that the England men’s team give serious thought to having a proper 4 day warm-up match either against Western Australia and/or Australia A before playing the 1st test in Perth.
The women’s ODI soon became a struggle for NZ after Heather Knight put them into bat. Although Lauren Bell bowled 3 expensive overs at the start, Filer from the other end was distinctly sharp and too quick for NZ. After a few overs from Nat Sciver Brunt, the spinners Dean and Ecclestone took over and claimed most of the wickets. I found it very interesting watching Charlie Dean from a wide long on position in the stand, with how she varied her pace and flight but I didn't notice her bowl a 23 or 24 yard delivery - something I learnt from Fred Sheffield when I played at Honor Oak during my last 4 seasons in London. Tammy Beaumont and Maria Boucher made short work of the New Zealand total of around 150, with time to see a glimpse of Heather Knight after Bouchier was out. I had hoped to see some more of the England batters, but it was not to be. After the recent comments about the fitness of the England women during the Ashes series down under, I must say that I was quite impressed by their standard of fielding and fitness in this match. Perhaps it's simply easier to field well when your bowlers are on top.
I only paid one more visit to the Riverside in September to watch the 3rd day of the match against Notts. As is common these days, Notts put Durham in and saw them score 500 plus. I had hoped to see Oli Stone bowl in the 2nd innings, but after 1 for 110 in 20 overs, I don't think I would have been very impressed. However, after a young quick bowler from Lancashire had made a mess of Notts first innings, (sorry I've forgotten his name) by taking 5 wickets on debut, young James rescued the Notts 1st innings and took the match into the 4th day, but we had the farce of James having to come in again just before the close, after Fletcher, the night watchman had been dismissed 1st ball. On the performance I saw from them, I thought Notts were extremely lucky to avoid relegation.
Whilst all this was going on, I was watching with some interest the attempt by my adopted county, Yorkshire to gain promotion. An interesting fact is that when either Brook and/or Root played in the early part of the season, Yorkshire didn't win one match. I don't think they were helped by the wickets prepared at Headingley and it was noticeable that they won both the matches played at Scarborough, where the wicket is a little bit more helpful to the bowlers. The second match there against Sussex was much more interesting because the spinners played a big part in the game, something you don't see very often these days.
One result that I found strange was the Middlesex v Gloucestershire match at Lords towards the end of the season, where Middlesex tried out "Bazball" in the 2nd innings and got bowled out cheaply, believing that play on the 4th day was unlikely due to the weather forecast. In the event, Gloucestershire knocked off the runs on the 3rd evening and play would have been possible on the 4th day after all!!
Turning to England, I've probably watched the least amount of test cricket ever over the past 18 months. I did see Jamie Smith's innings at Edgbaston against the West Indies but also watched the debacle against Sri Lanka at the Oval. It was followed by a great performance in the 1st test in Pakistan, where the idea that our quick bowlers could bounce out the opposition on these slowish Asian wickets was probably formed. The tour also showed that our batsmen are incapable of playing good quality spin bowling on turning wickets, which was confirmed by recent events in India.
The news today that Jos Butler is stepping down as white ball captain was inevitable after our swift exit from the Champions Trophy. I have some sympathy for him, especially during the period when he was keeping wicket at the same time as captaining the side. On the few occasions that I did this when playing in Scotland, I found it very difficult to make minor adjustments in the field without the batsman being fully aware of what you were trying to do. I think Butler is not the only member of the team who is under pressure at the moment - Salt makes a decent score about once in every 5 innings, Livingstone isn't reliable - he played a terrible shot to lose his wicket against Afghanistan, and there must be some fitness question marks against Mark Wood after his latest injury. In one day cricket, Jamie Smith should not be batting at No 3. He seemed to think he had to attack nearly every ball.
We have India to deal with this summer and it wouldn't surprise me if they won the test series despite them not having a particularly good record in this country. They have got a good crop of decent quick bowlers now who will be quite a test for our batsmen (I hate the term "batters" - what is wrong with batsmen and batswomen?)
As regards the Ashes in the winter, I think everything will need to go right for us to bring back the urn, and even if one or two of the Australian quicks break down, they seem to have adequate replacements.
I can't see past Surrey for the County Championship and I'll be more than pleased if Yorkshire manage to stay in the 1st division. I'm not sure how they are going to bowl sides out now that Fisher has left for Surrey (how many quick bowlers does one county need?).
Crocks Corner
In this era when bowlers have to carry out inappropriate fitness regimes and then spend more time on the treatment bench than actually bowling this feature celebrates the manifold complaints of elite athletes. Feel free to submit anything you notice
“England Test captain Ben Stokes is set to miss this summer's Hundred to focus on his fitness for the Ashes in Australia at the end of the year. Stokes, 33, has not been retained by Northern Superchargers as the teams announced their new signings and initial squad lists for the 2025 tournament.
He tore his left hamstring during England's tour of New Zealand in December having only just recovered from the same injury that he suffered playing for Superchargers in August. The injury required surgery and he was ruled out for at least three months. England's next Test is not until they face Zimbabwe at Trent Bridge in May, but Stokes is aiming to be fit for the beginning of the County Championship season in April.”
“England all-rounder Jacob Bethell was ruled out of playing in Cuttack after sustaining a hamstring injury in the first ODI that will also cause him to miss the Champions Trophy.”
“The knee injury sustained by Mark Wood during the defeat by Afghanistan in Lahore on Wednesday is a major concern. Despite being seen walking freely around England’s team hotel on Friday, The i Paper understands the fast bowler will see a specialist on his return home from the tournament following Saturday’s final group match against South Africa. While England are awaiting more details on exactly what the issue with Wood is, it is feared that surgery to repair torn cartilage in his left kneecap will be needed.”
“Right-arm seamer Brydon Carse has now gone home from the Champions Trophy with a blister.”
Barnet Matters
I watched some of the Pep City v Plymouth cup tie and expected to see a team of rural locals in green but instead discovered that it was more like a United Nations representative XI. One of their defenders, Maxi Tolivierov, looked like the conclusion of a successful “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” game.
Eberechi Eze, the mercurial ex QPR, midfielder, has always gone in for the flamboyant tonsorial looks, and currently has a row of shoulder length dreadlocks which make him look as if he is wearing a French Foreign Legion hat.
Ged Matters
We are indebted to Ged’s spouse Daisy for this contribution
I had never been to a professional cricket match before. Until then, my entire experience of watching cricket was limited to:
My dad stopping the car and insisting on watching for a while if he spotted some random cricket on a village green or school playing field we happened to be passing. More recently, Ged’s attempts to get some charity cricket going with his colleagues and friends.
A few days before my first ever day at the Test, Ged moved into my flat for six weeks, while he was having his flat refurbished. Those six weeks became four months, but that’s a different story. My diary is light on detail about this match. Just the one word, “Oval”, about the cricket match. Lots of notes about a cashmere sale at Fulham Town Hall that I had intended to visit that day.
I made the picnic. Probably, in those days, I cooked some sausages in the morning and wrapped them in foil so they would still be warm for lunch. Nibbles of carrot and baby tomatoes no doubt. Probably sandwiches and biscuits as well.
There was a party atmosphere at that match. We partied like it was 1999 – which, of course, it was. A couple of events stick in my mind. A young woman, with a group of male friends, were all getting very drunk. Suddenly, the fulsome lass removed her top and ran around the stand topless, to the excitement of many in the crowd, until the stewards encouraged her to cover up and return to her seat. Ged said: “That’s it, baby. When you’ve got it, flaunt it!” and then had to mollify me by explaining the source of his quote.
We went home by tube. Ged told me that we might well see Bob Willis at the Oval underground station. We did not. Instead, we saw hundreds of fans who were alternately singing, “Nasser Hussain is having a party, bring some beer and a bottle of Bacardi,” and “Nasser Hussain is having a party, bring some beers and a packet of charley”. This seemed amusing at first, became tedious after two minutes and went on for at least 20 minutes.
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