Meet the Team
GOOGLIES & CHINAMEN
An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 265
January 2025
Spot the Ball
Ben Stokes: I bet we can bowl our overs slower than you can
Pat Cummins: Don’t put any money on it.
Old Wanker’s Almanac
I bumped into our ageless sage at Manchester Airport and he had plenty of predictions for the coming months
January
Buckingham Palace still refuses to comment on The Duke of York’s involvement in Chinese spy rings.
Pep City attempt to take advantage of the Transfer Window to solve their problems but inexplicably purchase two more tricky wingers and a couple of diminutive midfield players. Pep explains the strange acquisitions by saying “in our squad everyone can play anywhere”.
Middlesex’s finances reach a new low level, and they are forced to modify their deal with the MCC. In future their matches at Lord’s will only be played on the wickets at the extreme ends of the square so that the boundary can be pulled in on the opposite side to facilitate hockey and/or lacrosse matches to be played simultaneously on the freed-up outfield.
Cole Palmer succumbs to peer pressure in the Chelsea dressing room. He dyes his hair black and appears in his next outing at Stamford Bridge with corn rows on top and plaited braids and ringlets dangling around the sides and back.
In overseas training camps and rehabilitation centres England fast bowlers Mark Wood, Matthew Pennington and Brydon Carse all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
President Trump ends the war in Ukraine by calling a meeting of Zelenskyy and Putin and literally banging their heads together. He then nominates himself for the Nobel Peace Prize. When questioned about it, he replies “Obama got it for nothing - I at least stopped a war”.
February
There are demonstrations across the country as a large number of deaths amongst the elderly from hypothermia are reported. Keir Starmer says “that tough decisions had to be made regarding the winter fuel allowance and there were bound to be inevitable consequences”. He immediately tries to backtrack, but the damage was already done.
In the House of Commons Yvette Cooper tries to mitigate the damage by claiming that the recent extreme cold spell was due to Global Warming. Her statement is met with silence and puzzled frowns.
The ECB announce, what has already been blatantly obvious, that the County Championship is no longer seen as a grounding area for future England cricketers in both test and white ball arenas. Their statement goes on to say that it is in fact considered a disadvantage for aspiring international cricketers to have played county cricket. They quote their recent selections of Josh Tongue, Josh Hull, Shoaib Bashir, Rehan Ahmed and the West Indian Jacob Bethell.
In overseas training camps and rehabilitation centres England fast bowlers Matthew Potts, Gus Atkinson and Josh Hull all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
Ed Milliband coins a new phrase to get his new Green Energy policies underway - “Bugger the Locals”. This is remarkably well received everywhere, except, of course, across East Anglia where his gigantic pylons will be erected.
In an exclusive the Sun claims that the Duke of York masterminded the Chinese Spy Ring. The Guardian counters that this is ludicrous because he has never masterminded anything in his life!
The Rangers golden spell continues, and it now seems unlikely that they will be relegated to the Third Division South.
In an unwelcome report on the NHS it is announced that there are now more patients awaiting discharge from hospital than there are those occupying beds for treatment. Over 85% of those waiting for discharge are being kept for over eight hours whilst their “take-home” medications are provided. A spokesman for the NHS says “Our pharmacies are overrun but we are not allowed to resolve the situation by increasing staff levels”.
Trump announces that all cases involving sexual harassment of women are suspended indefinitely. He says that America can only become great again if it stops wasting time on such trivia.
March
King Charles says that the Duke of York must deal with his own indiscretions and criminal activities and can expect no help from the Palace.
Keir Starmer reports that the Special Relationship with America is going well and that Trump has committed to returning his latest call in January sometime in the New Year (2026).
The Woke community are desperately disappointed when the Royal Commission categorically finds that recycling measures are more harmful to the environment than landfill and incineration procedures. Meanwhile, the Greens are trying to cash in on the Government’s unpopularity by pushing their own agenda. They successfully persuade the Government to ban Bonfire Night and all domestic barbecues.
Rachel Reeves says that the recession is only a technical expression, and people shouldn’t be worried about it but it does mean that the government’s spending plans may have to be reduced or even aborted. She regrets the Manifesto pledge to not increase taxes but is inspired by an anonymous tip from Dominic Cummins who suggests that they didn’t say that there wouldn’t be any new taxes. Keir Starmer grabbing at straws decides it would be a fun wheeze to invite the electorate to recommend new taxes to alleviate the situation and he sets up a web site to collect them.
President Trump smugly announces that his first Hundred Days have gone well after he has amended the Constitution to enable him to serve a third and, if he lives that long, a fourth term of office. To facilitate this transition he has suspended the requirement for elections during this period.
Ben Stokes says that he is exercising at full stretch to overcome his latest hamstring injury. He adds that he expects to be ready for the first test in the summer and then to be out with his next injury two weeks later.
In overseas training camps and rehabilitation centres England fast bowlers Jofra Archer, Josh Tongue and Reece Topley all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
April
Suggestions for new taxes come pouring into the government’s website. Many sound more like fines but they include:
A tax on entering a supermarket ($5 a time)
A tax on passengers in a car ($5 a person)
A tax on sneezing in public ($1 a sneeze). Fits of five or more sneezes attract a maximum tax of $5
A tax on entry to women’s sporting events (considered unlikely to raise much as no-one goes anyway)
A tax on using public conveniences, if you can find one.
A tax on sex ($10 a bang). The PM says that this would only raise about $20 a year per couple, wouldn’t it?
Middlesex release the bulk of their professional staff prompting a mass exodus of members. Only Jeff Coleman and Les Berry are reported as having paid their subs this year.
A haggard looking Keir Starmer decides to reduce his public appearances including at Prime Minister’s Question Time. He says that Rachel Reeves is better at answering these difficult questions and that he wants to concentrate on travelling abroad to attend pointless conferences.
Jonny Bairstow kicks off the season with three double hundreds in the County Championship but is not considered for selection at test level. Baz says that he is sticking with his squad and that Bairstow’s performance only demonstrates the poor quality of Championship cricket.
President Trump pardons himself from all past and proposed criminal activity. He also arranges for ex-President Biden to be arrested for illegally pardoning his own son.
Nigel Farage’s Reform Party joins up with Boris Johnson’s newly formed Tossers’ Club. The Daily Mail shows that this link up is gaining traction with 60 % approval rating across the country. It is already calling for Keir Starmer’s resignation and an early general election.
The Home Secretary, Yvette Cooper, says that the ongoing riots and demonstrations have taken the prisons beyond bursting point. A new convictee can now expect to serve only 10% of his designated sentence which will normally be less than time served in pre-trial detention.
In the England training camp Sadiq Mahmood, Jamie Overton and Reece Topley all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
May
As the economy marches downwards into deeper recession, Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng are seen slipping in the back door of Number 10 for secret meetings.
Following an in depth review of the NHS, the Royal Commission concludes that our “Wonderful NHS” is not that wonderful after all.
A surprise selection for the first test of the summer is Ben Bing-Bong Upper-Dong a 6ft 9inch fourteen-year-old schoolboy from Tower Hamlets. Baz explains that Ben has never played cricket, but he is confident that he is a terrific find and will be fully ready to open the bowling. Another surprising selection is Zak Crawley who, although he has made 380 runs in eight innings for Kent, in what Baz patronizingly calls warmup games, 356 were at Lord’s where he took a liking to the new short boundaries. He also scored a goal during this innings when one of his many boundaries flew into the Hockey net to the amazement of the goalkeeper.
Rachel Reeves announces that extreme circumstances require extreme measures and that she regrettably has decided to sell off the Police Force. Bids are invited in secret. The only one made so far is from a VP, the Kremlin, Moscow.
The quest for a new Archbishop of Canterbury continues as one after another of the bishops nominated fail to demonstrate that they have not been involved in cover ups of child abuse. The Synod decides that it may be best to look outside the Church of England for an acceptable candidate…In no time Sue Gray emerges as the front runner.
Both Manchester clubs are to play in the Championship next season. United are relegated and City do down after maximum points deductions for financial irregularities.
June
King Charles pardons his brother the Duke of York for everything he has ever done anywhere in the world.
In a new development in an attempt to reduce the number of player absences for “paternal days”, the ECB backroom staff will now include a midwife and mobile nursing clinic at all test matches home and away so that players can bring their pregnant wives and girlfriends with them. Drinks intervals will be extended so that expectant dads can pop along to the delivery room to progress matters.
The BBC commissions a documentary to celebrate Gary Linekar’s greatest contributions to Match of the Day. The concept is abandoned when all they came up with was a three-minute clip in which he appeared in his underpants after an unexpected Leicester victory,
Despite undertakings given during the sale of Royal Mail to Czech billionaire Daniel Kretinsky, first class mail is now down to a once-a-week delivery and second class is once-a-month. All parcels must be collected in person from just five depots located across the country. However, the good news is that the non-post garbage fliers will now be delivered at least ten a day to every household in the country. This, of course, is the most profitable business as it is lucrative, no sorting or tracking is required, and no one will miss a non-delivery.
Ollie Pope achieves a unique hat trick. He loses the England captaincy to Harry Brook, the wicket keeping gloves to Jamie Smith and his batting place to Jacob Bethell.
A new economic survey shows that record numbers of those eligible to work are actually not working. These include those with one of the manifold new and dubious psychiatric conditions, those refusing to work, those in prison, those waiting to go into prison, those waiting to go into hospital, those waiting to be released from hospital due to “pharmacy Issues” and, of course, the layabouts. Rachel Reeves says that there will have to be an auxiliary autumn budget to cover the budgetary shortfall of a new $40 billion gap which has appeared in the public finances since Labour took office.
July
FIFA bows to the inevitable and hands over the running of world football to the Saudis. When questioned about their civil rights record a spokesman said “They should try playing in the Premier League”.
Elon Musk invents a new source of energy that is easier to produce than gas, cheaper than electricity and simpler to extract than oil. If adopted it would easily facilitate the reaching of net zero by 2050. But how, to whom and at what cost will he release the formula…
Out & About with the Professor
So, what do the year-end accounts for the England Test side look like? Played 17, won 9, lost 8. No draws, of course. In terms of series: won 3, lost 2. So, is that a good, bad or mediocre outcome? The two lost series were both away from home, while two of the lost Tests were in series already won – which is becoming, so it seems, a bit of a habit. A plea in mitigation might be offered for one of the lost series (Pakistan), but the other was a 4-1 drubbing by India, although even there, some hopeful aspects could be seen. However, 9:8, while better than the reverse, is hardly world domination. It is just possible that some Googlies readers may need a nudge to the memory, so here goes:
India.
The first Test was as remarkable as they get with England overturning a 190 runs deficit on first innings to win by 28. Having scored less than 250 in the first innings, England all but matched India’s 436 in the second, principally due to Pope’s 196. Perhaps the most memorable performance was from Hartley, who was belted to all parts in the first innings, conceding 131 runs from 25 overs, and then won the match in the second with 7-62. While the most memorable moment being that of Ben Stokes’ back-flick from mid-off to run out Jadeja. The other four Tests had something of a pattern with India getting big first innings scores (two double hundreds for Jaiswal, and singles for Gill (twice), Rohit (twice) and Jadeja), and England falling away badly in their second innings, twice failing to make 150.
West Indies.
Following the T20 World Cup, the home series against West Indies was a largely one-sided affair, emphasising, as much as anything, the bizarre state of West Indies cricket, with world-class white ball cricketers wandering around the planet, while some decidedly less well-known players represent the conglomerate nation. The First Test at Lord’s saw the demolition job by Atkinson (12 for 106) as well as the debut of Smith and, of course, the exit of Jimmy. The second match was more even on first innings, backed up by England in the second, scoring more than 400 twice for the first time ever. But the Windies fell apart, being bowled out in a single session between lunch and tea on Day 4. The match gave Bashir his third 5-fer, as well as hundreds for Pope, Root and Brook. The final match was another thumping win with Smith just failing to get a maiden hundred and Wood bowling very quickly for 5-40. The enduring memory of this game, for me at least, was that of Stokes deciding to open with Duckett on Day 5. Only 80 odd runs were required and we all know that small totals can sometimes be a challenge, but not if you score 50 of them from 24 balls. Stokes’ captaincy style is not to ask anyone to do something he wouldn’t do himself - not, I think, that many could. England didn’t have all that many overs to get the runs, but that hardly mattered, since they only needed seven. Stokes’ fifty was a record in a year of records.
Sri Lanka.
Next up were Sri Lanka. Similar thing, good wins at Old Trafford and Lord’s, with Smith getting his hundred and Atkinson getting both a hundred and 5-fer on the Lord’s honours board. But then, what? A loss of concentration? Complacency? Tiredness (albeit after 4 days rest)? Continued absence of Stokes? Slightly longer than usual tail? Whatever the cause, England’s second innings of 156 was woeful with only Smith looking like he knew what he was doing.
Pakistan.
Off to Pakistan, after some inconsequential T20s and ODIs against Australia, and the second series defeat. We all remember the trip there two years’ ago and the record 3-0 result – and it looked to be going the same way after the First Test, until the groundstaff came to the rescue.
Difficult to forget the Multan Test with any number of records broken, the most memorable being the result. To score 556 on first innings and lose by an innings, if not “unbelievable” (to use the most repetitive word in the football pundit’s lexicon) was certainly unique. Root and Brook’s partnership saw off the record of May and Cowdrey; Root went past Cook in total runs; 823 was England’s highest since 1938: Root’s double hundred was his sixth; six bowlers conceded more than 100 runs with Ahmed going for 174 - 0 from 35 overs…and Carse hit his first ball in Test cricket for 6. Add your own favourite record here…
The reaction was dramatic and effective…to doctor the surface. First by playing on the same pitch twice – which may have happened sometime in the past, although I had not heard of it – and then raking the surface, after the fans and heaters had made it bone dry, for the final game. There seemed to be muted condemnation of these tactics, as if the tu quoque “justification” - that everyone uses home advantage - was justification enough. It wasn’t, and isn’t, and the whole episode was disgraceful. Having said all that, England batted very poorly in the two final innings: on the Day 9 pitch at Multan, and at Rawalpindi, seemingly mesmerised by Sajid and Noman.
New Zealand.
Finally, after some one-day stuff in the Caribbean, to Christchurch for another thumping win, with 10 wickets for Carse and a modest 171 for Brook; thence to windy Wellington for a Root hundred, a Bethell almost hundred and an Atkinson hat-trick; followed by the now familiar shambles in the final Test involving being bowled out for 143 in the first innings.
So, what to make of it all? There are teams in England’s not-too-distant past for whom: won nine, lost eight would have been a triumph, and in truth, setting aside the Rawalpindi result, England played some excellent (and sometimes astonishing) cricket. There is also the arrival of new(ish) players to celebrate: Atkinson and Carse, Bashir and Ahmed, Smith, Bethell and contributions from Potts and Hartley (who would seem to have the temperament for Test cricket), and so on. Perhaps most importantly, the expectation that the retirement of Broad and Anderson would leave an enormous hole was not born out, indeed Carse, Atkinson and Wood/Archer looks like a pretty handy attack for the next few years, assuming, as they won’t, that they all stay fit.
But (and there always are those) some problems continue. On spinners’ wickets overseas our spinners looked poor by comparison – possibly Leech’s injury didn’t help. Bashir, Hartley and Ahmed may prove to be great players, but not yet they’re not. The inability to finish off a series, of which the abject batting against Sri Lanka was perhaps the worst example, is a continuing concern. Add to that Stokes’ fitness, and so on. But all in all…a pretty good year, and very, very well worth watching. Not that England’s ranking has improved that much, which made the Guardian cricket writers “team of the year” a little surprising with four English names:
Jaiwal
Duckett
Root
Brook
Mendis
Head
Verreynne
Jadeja
Atkinson
Henry
Bumrah
Root’s 1,556 in the year (at 56) was top of the batting, while Bumrah’s 62 wickets at 14, quite stunning. Not quite so sure about Duckett but that was their collective judgement. No matter what, 2024 must count as a pretty good year for followers of England’s Test side.
This & That
England and New Zealand have been deducted three World Test Championship points for slow over rates during their series opener in Christchurch. Both teams were also fined 15 per cent of their match fees for the offence. A statement from the International Cricket Council read: “New Zealand and England were both found to have three overs short of the target after time allowances were taken into consideration, with sides penalised one point for each over they were found to be short.
It must be a pretty useful wicket in Bulawayo. Zimbabwe racked up 586 with centuries from Williams, Ervine and Bennett only for Afghanistan to reply with 699, with Rhamat Shah scoring 234 and Hasmatullah 246.
England Men’s Lions have confirmed a 16-player squad for their upcoming tour of Australia in January:
Sonny Baker (Hampshire)
Shoaib Bashir (Somerset)
Pat Brown (Derbyshire)
James Coles (Sussex)
Sam Cook (Essex)
Alex Davies (Warwickshire)
Rocky Flintoff (Lancashire)
Tom Hartley (Lancashire)
Tom Lawes (Surrey)
Freddie McCann (Nottinghamshire)
Ben McKinney (Durham)
James Rew (Somerset)
Hamza Shaikh (Warwickshire)
Mitch Stanley (Lancashire)
Josh Tongue (Nottinghamshire)
John Turner (Hampshire)
In general performances in the County Championship have been ignored although Sam Cook, Alex Davies and James Rew bring experience to a largely inexperienced group. The squad will be coached by Andrew Flintoff, supported by Neil Killeen, Richard Dawson and Graeme Swann. Australian batting coach Trent Woodhill has also been brought in as a consultant for the tour. The tour to India in January and February includes five T20 internationals and three ODIs before England travel to Pakistan for the Champions Trophy.
The England white ball squads for India are:
T20 series in India: Jos Buttler (Captain), Rehan Ahmed, Jofra Archer, Gus Atkinson, Jacob Bethell, Harry Brook, Brydon Carse, Ben Duckett, Jamie Overton, Jamie Smith, Liam Livingstone, Adil Rashid, Saqib Mahmood, Phil Salt, Mark Wood
ODI series in India and Champions Trophy: Jos Buttler (Captain), Jofra Archer, Gus Atkinson, Jacob Bethell, Harry Brook, Brydon Carse, Ben Duckett, Jamie Overton, Jamie Smith, Liam Livingstone, Adil Rashid, Joe Root, Saqib Mahmood, Phil Salt, Mark Wood
Reece Topley, Sam Curran and Will Jacks miss out on both squads.
England itinerary in India:
T20 series
Wednesday, 22 January, Eden Gardens, Kolkata
Saturday, 25 January, MA Chidambaram Stadium, Chennai
Tuesday, 28 January, Niranjan Shah Stadium, Rajkot
Friday, 31 January, MCA Stadium, Pune
Sunday, 2 February, Wankhede Stadium, Mumbai
ODI series
Thursday, 6 February, VCA Stadium, Nagpur
Sunday, 9 February, Barabati Stadium, Cuttack
Wednesday, 12 February, Narendra Modi Stadium, Ahmedabad
In BBC ‘s Football Extra Pat Nevin wrote:
I can own up to the fact now, quite a few years after I retired, that I secretly loved playing a whole bunch of games over the Christmas period. Yes, it meant nearly 20 years not spending Christmas Day, and often Hogmanay, (Old Year’s Night) with family or friends. The latter was a particular pain for a Scot like me. Even so, I loved the drama and the intensity of it all. These were the days of muddy pitches or worse, rock-hard frozen solid surfaces when the games still went ahead, wearing sneakers rather than football boots. Sometimes the snow had to be cleared off the pitch half an hour before the start. It all added a certain frisson of excitement and unpredictability. I once played a home match on the 26th of December and an away one on the 27th. I can’t recall one player complaining, we mostly just liked actually playing football. We did have a rest before the next game on the 31st, so it wasn’t too bad.
We keep on hearing that those poor international cricketers have to play too often and so it was something of a surprise to learn that many of the test team after their thrashing in the third test in New Zealand popped across to Australia to perform in the Big Bash. So, when is too much cricket, not too much? When the silver shilling is dangled, of course.
But the outstanding innings played by an Englishman so far in this year’s edition of the Big Bash was played by England reject James Vince who hit an unbeaten century to help seal an eight-wicket win for Sydney Sixers over Melbourne Stars in the Australian Big Bash League. Vince's 101 from 58 balls included 12 fours and four sixes as the Sixers made it three wins from three to go top of the table, while the Stars slump to the bottom after a fourth successive defeat.
South Africa secured their place in June's World Test Championship final by holding their nerve to beat Pakistan by two wickets on an enthralling fourth day of the first Test in Centurion. Chasing 148 for victory, the Proteas fell from 96-4 to 99-8, including the loss of three wickets for no runs in four balls.
Pakistan seamer Mohammad Abbas, playing his first Test for more than three years, took 6-54 but the hosts found an unlikely batting hero in number 10 Kagiso Rabada. He scored 31 not out from 26 balls in a partnership of 51 with Marco Jansen. The win keeps South Africa top of the Test Championship table and ensures they will contest the final for the first time and face either Australia or India at Lord's.
Thompson Matters
Steve has been spending his time across the border
A little background: My wife is proudly Welsh; indeed, increasingly so. Her father was born two streets from the St.Helen’s ground in Swansea and was a frequent attender in his youth. However, it is to West Wales, and a village near Aberaeron on the West Wales coast that we go to walk and discover more about her mother’s roots. We meet up with a friend, local historian and all-round sports buff, Aled. In between visits to chapel gravestones, she and Aled talk of their Welsh heritage and family connections and Aled and I talk sport, mainly cricket, about which he is exceptionally knowledgeable. That encyclopaedic knowledge derives in good part from his large collection of books, some of which are doubles. On our last trip, as ever, he generously presented us both with a selection of books and it is one, Glamorgan County Cricket Club compiled by Andrew Hignell, that prompted this piece.
Aled had two copies and was glad to present me with one. I think he was even more delighted that upon opening it I pointed out that there, on the fly sheet, was written in perfect hand the signature ‘John Thicknesse’. After noticing this, I suggested that perhaps I had his other copy since the provenance of the one I was holding might make it the better keeper. We duly swapped.
In my mind I had always felt that with regard to personnel there has been a closer connection between Middlesex and Glamorgan than perhaps many other counties. This prompted some research which just about supports my theory. Googlies has been without one of these XIs for a while and of course the answer to the traditional question is now self-evident:
Louis Devereux
Norman Featherstone
James Franklin
James Harris
Tom Helm
Allan A. Jones
Brendon McCullum
Colin Metson (Wkt)
Len Muncer
Harry Podmore
Mike Selvey (capt.)
It is a just bare eleven who qualify and it is a bit light on batting but with three Test players and the prospect of Daffball, it might entertain the crowds. The seam attack might well prompt Selv to insert the opposition, given the chance, especially at St. Helens, but more of that to follow. Only one of the side, James Harris, is Welsh, which perhaps reflects the general flow of traffic from east to west or from a long way south in some cases.
Perhaps the ‘link’ in my mind has its roots in Len Muncer. Of the above XI he had the strongest claim to having a peg in both changing rooms, spending almost half his career with Middlesex before Wilf Wooller persuaded him to travel west and reinvigorate a career which could all have ended tragically when he was a prisoner of war building the Burma-Siam railway.
On returning to Lord’s to become head coach of MCC, Len’s affiliation with Glamorgan was perhaps reflected in a number of young Welsh cricketers arriving at the Nursery End or others finding a contract awaiting them in Cardiff. I remember playing against the Young Pros in 1972, a side which contained Arthur Francis, Barry Lloyd and Rodney Ontong, all three of whom would go on to become ‘legends’ of the county side in the 70s and 80s.
From the Middlesex perspective, Louis Devereaux, who played most of his first-class cricket for Worcestershire and then Glamorgan, just qualifies by dint of his first two first-class appearances, against The Oxbridge elevens; his debut was a fresh air game at Fenners. He played international table tennis for England and when he retired ran the Grand Hotel in Aberystwyth for 30 years.
Only one of the eleven captained either side, Mike Selvey, in his one season at Glamorgan in 1983.
I may stand corrected but possibly only Colin Metson (Winchmore Hill) played in the Middlesex League. As a sixteen-year-old Colin came to the Sixth Form at Enfield Grammar to do his A-Levels, much to one Jim Conroy’s delight since not only did the First XI benefit but so occasionally did our staff team. In an era where several keepers could have claimed they were worthy of Test status there are many in Wales who would testify to Colin’s claim. Indeed Dickie Bird once described him as ‘the best wicketkeeper I have seen in England since Alan Knott’.
As to St. Helen’s, whilst not having staged a Glamorgan match since 2019 the writing has been on the wall for its association with the club. As of 2025-26 it will be the new home of Ospreys RFC. Glamorgan first played at St. Helen’s in May 1921 following their elevation to the first-class game. They famously beat the Australians on the ground in 1964 and then again in 1968 and it is of course where Sir Garfield Sobers struck Malcolm Nash over the boundary six times in the over; the last one going, as Wilf Wooller said on commentary, ‘all the way down to Swansea’. Swansea Cricket Club will itself have to find a new ground but will at least be able to play the 2025 season, its 150th anniversary (one it shares with South Hampstead) at St. Helens. No doubt all of that will be a subject discussed on our next ramble in West Wales.
Meanwhile on the other side of the globe, the Aussies chose Boxing Day to introduce their new saviour to Test Cricket. The inclusion of Sam Konstas certainly brings the average age of the side down a little The period between 1994 and 1998 has produced the fewest number of Australian Test cricketers since before the turn of the 20th Century and Konstas is eleven years younger than the next youngest in the side which played in the Boxing Day Test. The average age of that side was just under 34.
Konstas of course made quite an entrance. Not merely by the way he played but also on Day 2 when winding up the crowd after Kohli’s dismissal. It remains to be seen whether he is The Messiah or just a very naughty boy.
Crocks Corner
In this era when bowlers have to carry out inappropriate fitness regimes and then spend more time on the treatment bench than actually bowling we introduce this feature to celebrate their manifold complaints. Feel free to submit anything you notice
Ben Stokes requires surgery on a torn left hamstring and has been ruled out of all cricket for at least three months. It is the second time Stokes has torn his left hamstring this year, having sustained the same injury while playing in The Hundred in August. England said Durham all-rounder Stokes will have surgery in January.
Barnet Matters
It was immediately apparent that Santa had visited St James Park over Christmas and left fresh supplies of hair dye in the dressing room. On Boxing Day Bruno Guimares and Joelinton were both sporting white tops whereas Antony Gordon had a more subtle, but quite horrible, yellowy cream tint. There must also have been a stocking full in the away dressing room as their Colombian Jhon Duran also briefly displayed a white top until he opted for a red card by stomping Fabian Schar in the back whilst he was on the ground.
Kalvin Phillips (remember him?) extraordinarily made 31 appearances for England before his move to Pep City and has now made his way to Ipswich where he puts it about as one of their thug squad. His head is shaved all round up to the crown on which he has tight corn rows and dangling from the back is a bunch of thin dreadlocks. This looks absolutely ludicrous on a football pitch, but one wonders what sort of social group he mixes in away from the game and what they make of it?
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
www.googliesandchinamen.com
Googlies and Chinamen
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An Occasional Cricketing Journal
Edition 265
January 2025
Spot the Ball
Ben Stokes: I bet we can bowl our overs slower than you can
Pat Cummins: Don’t put any money on it.
Old Wanker’s Almanac
I bumped into our ageless sage at Manchester Airport and he had plenty of predictions for the coming months
January
Buckingham Palace still refuses to comment on The Duke of York’s involvement in Chinese spy rings.
Pep City attempt to take advantage of the Transfer Window to solve their problems but inexplicably purchase two more tricky wingers and a couple of diminutive midfield players. Pep explains the strange acquisitions by saying “in our squad everyone can play anywhere”.
Middlesex’s finances reach a new low level, and they are forced to modify their deal with the MCC. In future their matches at Lord’s will only be played on the wickets at the extreme ends of the square so that the boundary can be pulled in on the opposite side to facilitate hockey and/or lacrosse matches to be played simultaneously on the freed-up outfield.
Cole Palmer succumbs to peer pressure in the Chelsea dressing room. He dyes his hair black and appears in his next outing at Stamford Bridge with corn rows on top and plaited braids and ringlets dangling around the sides and back.
In overseas training camps and rehabilitation centres England fast bowlers Mark Wood, Matthew Pennington and Brydon Carse all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
President Trump ends the war in Ukraine by calling a meeting of Zelenskyy and Putin and literally banging their heads together. He then nominates himself for the Nobel Peace Prize. When questioned about it, he replies “Obama got it for nothing - I at least stopped a war”.
February
There are demonstrations across the country as a large number of deaths amongst the elderly from hypothermia are reported. Keir Starmer says “that tough decisions had to be made regarding the winter fuel allowance and there were bound to be inevitable consequences”. He immediately tries to backtrack, but the damage was already done.
In the House of Commons Yvette Cooper tries to mitigate the damage by claiming that the recent extreme cold spell was due to Global Warming. Her statement is met with silence and puzzled frowns.
The ECB announce, what has already been blatantly obvious, that the County Championship is no longer seen as a grounding area for future England cricketers in both test and white ball arenas. Their statement goes on to say that it is in fact considered a disadvantage for aspiring international cricketers to have played county cricket. They quote their recent selections of Josh Tongue, Josh Hull, Shoaib Bashir, Rehan Ahmed and the West Indian Jacob Bethell.
In overseas training camps and rehabilitation centres England fast bowlers Matthew Potts, Gus Atkinson and Josh Hull all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
Ed Milliband coins a new phrase to get his new Green Energy policies underway - “Bugger the Locals”. This is remarkably well received everywhere, except, of course, across East Anglia where his gigantic pylons will be erected.
In an exclusive the Sun claims that the Duke of York masterminded the Chinese Spy Ring. The Guardian counters that this is ludicrous because he has never masterminded anything in his life!
The Rangers golden spell continues, and it now seems unlikely that they will be relegated to the Third Division South.
In an unwelcome report on the NHS it is announced that there are now more patients awaiting discharge from hospital than there are those occupying beds for treatment. Over 85% of those waiting for discharge are being kept for over eight hours whilst their “take-home” medications are provided. A spokesman for the NHS says “Our pharmacies are overrun but we are not allowed to resolve the situation by increasing staff levels”.
Trump announces that all cases involving sexual harassment of women are suspended indefinitely. He says that America can only become great again if it stops wasting time on such trivia.
March
King Charles says that the Duke of York must deal with his own indiscretions and criminal activities and can expect no help from the Palace.
Keir Starmer reports that the Special Relationship with America is going well and that Trump has committed to returning his latest call in January sometime in the New Year (2026).
The Woke community are desperately disappointed when the Royal Commission categorically finds that recycling measures are more harmful to the environment than landfill and incineration procedures. Meanwhile, the Greens are trying to cash in on the Government’s unpopularity by pushing their own agenda. They successfully persuade the Government to ban Bonfire Night and all domestic barbecues.
Rachel Reeves says that the recession is only a technical expression, and people shouldn’t be worried about it but it does mean that the government’s spending plans may have to be reduced or even aborted. She regrets the Manifesto pledge to not increase taxes but is inspired by an anonymous tip from Dominic Cummins who suggests that they didn’t say that there wouldn’t be any new taxes. Keir Starmer grabbing at straws decides it would be a fun wheeze to invite the electorate to recommend new taxes to alleviate the situation and he sets up a web site to collect them.
President Trump smugly announces that his first Hundred Days have gone well after he has amended the Constitution to enable him to serve a third and, if he lives that long, a fourth term of office. To facilitate this transition he has suspended the requirement for elections during this period.
Ben Stokes says that he is exercising at full stretch to overcome his latest hamstring injury. He adds that he expects to be ready for the first test in the summer and then to be out with his next injury two weeks later.
In overseas training camps and rehabilitation centres England fast bowlers Jofra Archer, Josh Tongue and Reece Topley all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
April
Suggestions for new taxes come pouring into the government’s website. Many sound more like fines but they include:
A tax on entering a supermarket ($5 a time)
A tax on passengers in a car ($5 a person)
A tax on sneezing in public ($1 a sneeze). Fits of five or more sneezes attract a maximum tax of $5
A tax on entry to women’s sporting events (considered unlikely to raise much as no-one goes anyway)
A tax on using public conveniences, if you can find one.
A tax on sex ($10 a bang). The PM says that this would only raise about $20 a year per couple, wouldn’t it?
Middlesex release the bulk of their professional staff prompting a mass exodus of members. Only Jeff Coleman and Les Berry are reported as having paid their subs this year.
A haggard looking Keir Starmer decides to reduce his public appearances including at Prime Minister’s Question Time. He says that Rachel Reeves is better at answering these difficult questions and that he wants to concentrate on travelling abroad to attend pointless conferences.
Jonny Bairstow kicks off the season with three double hundreds in the County Championship but is not considered for selection at test level. Baz says that he is sticking with his squad and that Bairstow’s performance only demonstrates the poor quality of Championship cricket.
President Trump pardons himself from all past and proposed criminal activity. He also arranges for ex-President Biden to be arrested for illegally pardoning his own son.
Nigel Farage’s Reform Party joins up with Boris Johnson’s newly formed Tossers’ Club. The Daily Mail shows that this link up is gaining traction with 60 % approval rating across the country. It is already calling for Keir Starmer’s resignation and an early general election.
The Home Secretary, Yvette Cooper, says that the ongoing riots and demonstrations have taken the prisons beyond bursting point. A new convictee can now expect to serve only 10% of his designated sentence which will normally be less than time served in pre-trial detention.
In the England training camp Sadiq Mahmood, Jamie Overton and Reece Topley all break down with what are described as “medium term” injuries.
May
As the economy marches downwards into deeper recession, Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng are seen slipping in the back door of Number 10 for secret meetings.
Following an in depth review of the NHS, the Royal Commission concludes that our “Wonderful NHS” is not that wonderful after all.
A surprise selection for the first test of the summer is Ben Bing-Bong Upper-Dong a 6ft 9inch fourteen-year-old schoolboy from Tower Hamlets. Baz explains that Ben has never played cricket, but he is confident that he is a terrific find and will be fully ready to open the bowling. Another surprising selection is Zak Crawley who, although he has made 380 runs in eight innings for Kent, in what Baz patronizingly calls warmup games, 356 were at Lord’s where he took a liking to the new short boundaries. He also scored a goal during this innings when one of his many boundaries flew into the Hockey net to the amazement of the goalkeeper.
Rachel Reeves announces that extreme circumstances require extreme measures and that she regrettably has decided to sell off the Police Force. Bids are invited in secret. The only one made so far is from a VP, the Kremlin, Moscow.
The quest for a new Archbishop of Canterbury continues as one after another of the bishops nominated fail to demonstrate that they have not been involved in cover ups of child abuse. The Synod decides that it may be best to look outside the Church of England for an acceptable candidate…In no time Sue Gray emerges as the front runner.
Both Manchester clubs are to play in the Championship next season. United are relegated and City do down after maximum points deductions for financial irregularities.
June
King Charles pardons his brother the Duke of York for everything he has ever done anywhere in the world.
In a new development in an attempt to reduce the number of player absences for “paternal days”, the ECB backroom staff will now include a midwife and mobile nursing clinic at all test matches home and away so that players can bring their pregnant wives and girlfriends with them. Drinks intervals will be extended so that expectant dads can pop along to the delivery room to progress matters.
The BBC commissions a documentary to celebrate Gary Linekar’s greatest contributions to Match of the Day. The concept is abandoned when all they came up with was a three-minute clip in which he appeared in his underpants after an unexpected Leicester victory,
Despite undertakings given during the sale of Royal Mail to Czech billionaire Daniel Kretinsky, first class mail is now down to a once-a-week delivery and second class is once-a-month. All parcels must be collected in person from just five depots located across the country. However, the good news is that the non-post garbage fliers will now be delivered at least ten a day to every household in the country. This, of course, is the most profitable business as it is lucrative, no sorting or tracking is required, and no one will miss a non-delivery.
Ollie Pope achieves a unique hat trick. He loses the England captaincy to Harry Brook, the wicket keeping gloves to Jamie Smith and his batting place to Jacob Bethell.
A new economic survey shows that record numbers of those eligible to work are actually not working. These include those with one of the manifold new and dubious psychiatric conditions, those refusing to work, those in prison, those waiting to go into prison, those waiting to go into hospital, those waiting to be released from hospital due to “pharmacy Issues” and, of course, the layabouts. Rachel Reeves says that there will have to be an auxiliary autumn budget to cover the budgetary shortfall of a new $40 billion gap which has appeared in the public finances since Labour took office.
July
FIFA bows to the inevitable and hands over the running of world football to the Saudis. When questioned about their civil rights record a spokesman said “They should try playing in the Premier League”.
Elon Musk invents a new source of energy that is easier to produce than gas, cheaper than electricity and simpler to extract than oil. If adopted it would easily facilitate the reaching of net zero by 2050. But how, to whom and at what cost will he release the formula…
Out & About with the Professor
So, what do the year-end accounts for the England Test side look like? Played 17, won 9, lost 8. No draws, of course. In terms of series: won 3, lost 2. So, is that a good, bad or mediocre outcome? The two lost series were both away from home, while two of the lost Tests were in series already won – which is becoming, so it seems, a bit of a habit. A plea in mitigation might be offered for one of the lost series (Pakistan), but the other was a 4-1 drubbing by India, although even there, some hopeful aspects could be seen. However, 9:8, while better than the reverse, is hardly world domination. It is just possible that some Googlies readers may need a nudge to the memory, so here goes:
India.
The first Test was as remarkable as they get with England overturning a 190 runs deficit on first innings to win by 28. Having scored less than 250 in the first innings, England all but matched India’s 436 in the second, principally due to Pope’s 196. Perhaps the most memorable performance was from Hartley, who was belted to all parts in the first innings, conceding 131 runs from 25 overs, and then won the match in the second with 7-62. While the most memorable moment being that of Ben Stokes’ back-flick from mid-off to run out Jadeja. The other four Tests had something of a pattern with India getting big first innings scores (two double hundreds for Jaiswal, and singles for Gill (twice), Rohit (twice) and Jadeja), and England falling away badly in their second innings, twice failing to make 150.
West Indies.
Following the T20 World Cup, the home series against West Indies was a largely one-sided affair, emphasising, as much as anything, the bizarre state of West Indies cricket, with world-class white ball cricketers wandering around the planet, while some decidedly less well-known players represent the conglomerate nation. The First Test at Lord’s saw the demolition job by Atkinson (12 for 106) as well as the debut of Smith and, of course, the exit of Jimmy. The second match was more even on first innings, backed up by England in the second, scoring more than 400 twice for the first time ever. But the Windies fell apart, being bowled out in a single session between lunch and tea on Day 4. The match gave Bashir his third 5-fer, as well as hundreds for Pope, Root and Brook. The final match was another thumping win with Smith just failing to get a maiden hundred and Wood bowling very quickly for 5-40. The enduring memory of this game, for me at least, was that of Stokes deciding to open with Duckett on Day 5. Only 80 odd runs were required and we all know that small totals can sometimes be a challenge, but not if you score 50 of them from 24 balls. Stokes’ captaincy style is not to ask anyone to do something he wouldn’t do himself - not, I think, that many could. England didn’t have all that many overs to get the runs, but that hardly mattered, since they only needed seven. Stokes’ fifty was a record in a year of records.
Sri Lanka.
Next up were Sri Lanka. Similar thing, good wins at Old Trafford and Lord’s, with Smith getting his hundred and Atkinson getting both a hundred and 5-fer on the Lord’s honours board. But then, what? A loss of concentration? Complacency? Tiredness (albeit after 4 days rest)? Continued absence of Stokes? Slightly longer than usual tail? Whatever the cause, England’s second innings of 156 was woeful with only Smith looking like he knew what he was doing.
Pakistan.
Off to Pakistan, after some inconsequential T20s and ODIs against Australia, and the second series defeat. We all remember the trip there two years’ ago and the record 3-0 result – and it looked to be going the same way after the First Test, until the groundstaff came to the rescue.
Difficult to forget the Multan Test with any number of records broken, the most memorable being the result. To score 556 on first innings and lose by an innings, if not “unbelievable” (to use the most repetitive word in the football pundit’s lexicon) was certainly unique. Root and Brook’s partnership saw off the record of May and Cowdrey; Root went past Cook in total runs; 823 was England’s highest since 1938: Root’s double hundred was his sixth; six bowlers conceded more than 100 runs with Ahmed going for 174 - 0 from 35 overs…and Carse hit his first ball in Test cricket for 6. Add your own favourite record here…
The reaction was dramatic and effective…to doctor the surface. First by playing on the same pitch twice – which may have happened sometime in the past, although I had not heard of it – and then raking the surface, after the fans and heaters had made it bone dry, for the final game. There seemed to be muted condemnation of these tactics, as if the tu quoque “justification” - that everyone uses home advantage - was justification enough. It wasn’t, and isn’t, and the whole episode was disgraceful. Having said all that, England batted very poorly in the two final innings: on the Day 9 pitch at Multan, and at Rawalpindi, seemingly mesmerised by Sajid and Noman.
New Zealand.
Finally, after some one-day stuff in the Caribbean, to Christchurch for another thumping win, with 10 wickets for Carse and a modest 171 for Brook; thence to windy Wellington for a Root hundred, a Bethell almost hundred and an Atkinson hat-trick; followed by the now familiar shambles in the final Test involving being bowled out for 143 in the first innings.
So, what to make of it all? There are teams in England’s not-too-distant past for whom: won nine, lost eight would have been a triumph, and in truth, setting aside the Rawalpindi result, England played some excellent (and sometimes astonishing) cricket. There is also the arrival of new(ish) players to celebrate: Atkinson and Carse, Bashir and Ahmed, Smith, Bethell and contributions from Potts and Hartley (who would seem to have the temperament for Test cricket), and so on. Perhaps most importantly, the expectation that the retirement of Broad and Anderson would leave an enormous hole was not born out, indeed Carse, Atkinson and Wood/Archer looks like a pretty handy attack for the next few years, assuming, as they won’t, that they all stay fit.
But (and there always are those) some problems continue. On spinners’ wickets overseas our spinners looked poor by comparison – possibly Leech’s injury didn’t help. Bashir, Hartley and Ahmed may prove to be great players, but not yet they’re not. The inability to finish off a series, of which the abject batting against Sri Lanka was perhaps the worst example, is a continuing concern. Add to that Stokes’ fitness, and so on. But all in all…a pretty good year, and very, very well worth watching. Not that England’s ranking has improved that much, which made the Guardian cricket writers “team of the year” a little surprising with four English names:
Jaiwal
Duckett
Root
Brook
Mendis
Head
Verreynne
Jadeja
Atkinson
Henry
Bumrah
Root’s 1,556 in the year (at 56) was top of the batting, while Bumrah’s 62 wickets at 14, quite stunning. Not quite so sure about Duckett but that was their collective judgement. No matter what, 2024 must count as a pretty good year for followers of England’s Test side.
This & That
England and New Zealand have been deducted three World Test Championship points for slow over rates during their series opener in Christchurch. Both teams were also fined 15 per cent of their match fees for the offence. A statement from the International Cricket Council read: “New Zealand and England were both found to have three overs short of the target after time allowances were taken into consideration, with sides penalised one point for each over they were found to be short.
It must be a pretty useful wicket in Bulawayo. Zimbabwe racked up 586 with centuries from Williams, Ervine and Bennett only for Afghanistan to reply with 699, with Rhamat Shah scoring 234 and Hasmatullah 246.
England Men’s Lions have confirmed a 16-player squad for their upcoming tour of Australia in January:
Sonny Baker (Hampshire)
Shoaib Bashir (Somerset)
Pat Brown (Derbyshire)
James Coles (Sussex)
Sam Cook (Essex)
Alex Davies (Warwickshire)
Rocky Flintoff (Lancashire)
Tom Hartley (Lancashire)
Tom Lawes (Surrey)
Freddie McCann (Nottinghamshire)
Ben McKinney (Durham)
James Rew (Somerset)
Hamza Shaikh (Warwickshire)
Mitch Stanley (Lancashire)
Josh Tongue (Nottinghamshire)
John Turner (Hampshire)
In general performances in the County Championship have been ignored although Sam Cook, Alex Davies and James Rew bring experience to a largely inexperienced group. The squad will be coached by Andrew Flintoff, supported by Neil Killeen, Richard Dawson and Graeme Swann. Australian batting coach Trent Woodhill has also been brought in as a consultant for the tour. The tour to India in January and February includes five T20 internationals and three ODIs before England travel to Pakistan for the Champions Trophy.
The England white ball squads for India are:
T20 series in India: Jos Buttler (Captain), Rehan Ahmed, Jofra Archer, Gus Atkinson, Jacob Bethell, Harry Brook, Brydon Carse, Ben Duckett, Jamie Overton, Jamie Smith, Liam Livingstone, Adil Rashid, Saqib Mahmood, Phil Salt, Mark Wood
ODI series in India and Champions Trophy: Jos Buttler (Captain), Jofra Archer, Gus Atkinson, Jacob Bethell, Harry Brook, Brydon Carse, Ben Duckett, Jamie Overton, Jamie Smith, Liam Livingstone, Adil Rashid, Joe Root, Saqib Mahmood, Phil Salt, Mark Wood
Reece Topley, Sam Curran and Will Jacks miss out on both squads.
England itinerary in India:
T20 series
Wednesday, 22 January, Eden Gardens, Kolkata
Saturday, 25 January, MA Chidambaram Stadium, Chennai
Tuesday, 28 January, Niranjan Shah Stadium, Rajkot
Friday, 31 January, MCA Stadium, Pune
Sunday, 2 February, Wankhede Stadium, Mumbai
ODI series
Thursday, 6 February, VCA Stadium, Nagpur
Sunday, 9 February, Barabati Stadium, Cuttack
Wednesday, 12 February, Narendra Modi Stadium, Ahmedabad
In BBC ‘s Football Extra Pat Nevin wrote:
I can own up to the fact now, quite a few years after I retired, that I secretly loved playing a whole bunch of games over the Christmas period. Yes, it meant nearly 20 years not spending Christmas Day, and often Hogmanay, (Old Year’s Night) with family or friends. The latter was a particular pain for a Scot like me. Even so, I loved the drama and the intensity of it all. These were the days of muddy pitches or worse, rock-hard frozen solid surfaces when the games still went ahead, wearing sneakers rather than football boots. Sometimes the snow had to be cleared off the pitch half an hour before the start. It all added a certain frisson of excitement and unpredictability. I once played a home match on the 26th of December and an away one on the 27th. I can’t recall one player complaining, we mostly just liked actually playing football. We did have a rest before the next game on the 31st, so it wasn’t too bad.
We keep on hearing that those poor international cricketers have to play too often and so it was something of a surprise to learn that many of the test team after their thrashing in the third test in New Zealand popped across to Australia to perform in the Big Bash. So, when is too much cricket, not too much? When the silver shilling is dangled, of course.
But the outstanding innings played by an Englishman so far in this year’s edition of the Big Bash was played by England reject James Vince who hit an unbeaten century to help seal an eight-wicket win for Sydney Sixers over Melbourne Stars in the Australian Big Bash League. Vince's 101 from 58 balls included 12 fours and four sixes as the Sixers made it three wins from three to go top of the table, while the Stars slump to the bottom after a fourth successive defeat.
South Africa secured their place in June's World Test Championship final by holding their nerve to beat Pakistan by two wickets on an enthralling fourth day of the first Test in Centurion. Chasing 148 for victory, the Proteas fell from 96-4 to 99-8, including the loss of three wickets for no runs in four balls.
Pakistan seamer Mohammad Abbas, playing his first Test for more than three years, took 6-54 but the hosts found an unlikely batting hero in number 10 Kagiso Rabada. He scored 31 not out from 26 balls in a partnership of 51 with Marco Jansen. The win keeps South Africa top of the Test Championship table and ensures they will contest the final for the first time and face either Australia or India at Lord's.
Thompson Matters
Steve has been spending his time across the border
A little background: My wife is proudly Welsh; indeed, increasingly so. Her father was born two streets from the St.Helen’s ground in Swansea and was a frequent attender in his youth. However, it is to West Wales, and a village near Aberaeron on the West Wales coast that we go to walk and discover more about her mother’s roots. We meet up with a friend, local historian and all-round sports buff, Aled. In between visits to chapel gravestones, she and Aled talk of their Welsh heritage and family connections and Aled and I talk sport, mainly cricket, about which he is exceptionally knowledgeable. That encyclopaedic knowledge derives in good part from his large collection of books, some of which are doubles. On our last trip, as ever, he generously presented us both with a selection of books and it is one, Glamorgan County Cricket Club compiled by Andrew Hignell, that prompted this piece.
Aled had two copies and was glad to present me with one. I think he was even more delighted that upon opening it I pointed out that there, on the fly sheet, was written in perfect hand the signature ‘John Thicknesse’. After noticing this, I suggested that perhaps I had his other copy since the provenance of the one I was holding might make it the better keeper. We duly swapped.
In my mind I had always felt that with regard to personnel there has been a closer connection between Middlesex and Glamorgan than perhaps many other counties. This prompted some research which just about supports my theory. Googlies has been without one of these XIs for a while and of course the answer to the traditional question is now self-evident:
Louis Devereux
Norman Featherstone
James Franklin
James Harris
Tom Helm
Allan A. Jones
Brendon McCullum
Colin Metson (Wkt)
Len Muncer
Harry Podmore
Mike Selvey (capt.)
It is a just bare eleven who qualify and it is a bit light on batting but with three Test players and the prospect of Daffball, it might entertain the crowds. The seam attack might well prompt Selv to insert the opposition, given the chance, especially at St. Helens, but more of that to follow. Only one of the side, James Harris, is Welsh, which perhaps reflects the general flow of traffic from east to west or from a long way south in some cases.
Perhaps the ‘link’ in my mind has its roots in Len Muncer. Of the above XI he had the strongest claim to having a peg in both changing rooms, spending almost half his career with Middlesex before Wilf Wooller persuaded him to travel west and reinvigorate a career which could all have ended tragically when he was a prisoner of war building the Burma-Siam railway.
On returning to Lord’s to become head coach of MCC, Len’s affiliation with Glamorgan was perhaps reflected in a number of young Welsh cricketers arriving at the Nursery End or others finding a contract awaiting them in Cardiff. I remember playing against the Young Pros in 1972, a side which contained Arthur Francis, Barry Lloyd and Rodney Ontong, all three of whom would go on to become ‘legends’ of the county side in the 70s and 80s.
From the Middlesex perspective, Louis Devereaux, who played most of his first-class cricket for Worcestershire and then Glamorgan, just qualifies by dint of his first two first-class appearances, against The Oxbridge elevens; his debut was a fresh air game at Fenners. He played international table tennis for England and when he retired ran the Grand Hotel in Aberystwyth for 30 years.
Only one of the eleven captained either side, Mike Selvey, in his one season at Glamorgan in 1983.
I may stand corrected but possibly only Colin Metson (Winchmore Hill) played in the Middlesex League. As a sixteen-year-old Colin came to the Sixth Form at Enfield Grammar to do his A-Levels, much to one Jim Conroy’s delight since not only did the First XI benefit but so occasionally did our staff team. In an era where several keepers could have claimed they were worthy of Test status there are many in Wales who would testify to Colin’s claim. Indeed Dickie Bird once described him as ‘the best wicketkeeper I have seen in England since Alan Knott’.
As to St. Helen’s, whilst not having staged a Glamorgan match since 2019 the writing has been on the wall for its association with the club. As of 2025-26 it will be the new home of Ospreys RFC. Glamorgan first played at St. Helen’s in May 1921 following their elevation to the first-class game. They famously beat the Australians on the ground in 1964 and then again in 1968 and it is of course where Sir Garfield Sobers struck Malcolm Nash over the boundary six times in the over; the last one going, as Wilf Wooller said on commentary, ‘all the way down to Swansea’. Swansea Cricket Club will itself have to find a new ground but will at least be able to play the 2025 season, its 150th anniversary (one it shares with South Hampstead) at St. Helens. No doubt all of that will be a subject discussed on our next ramble in West Wales.
Meanwhile on the other side of the globe, the Aussies chose Boxing Day to introduce their new saviour to Test Cricket. The inclusion of Sam Konstas certainly brings the average age of the side down a little The period between 1994 and 1998 has produced the fewest number of Australian Test cricketers since before the turn of the 20th Century and Konstas is eleven years younger than the next youngest in the side which played in the Boxing Day Test. The average age of that side was just under 34.
Konstas of course made quite an entrance. Not merely by the way he played but also on Day 2 when winding up the crowd after Kohli’s dismissal. It remains to be seen whether he is The Messiah or just a very naughty boy.
Crocks Corner
In this era when bowlers have to carry out inappropriate fitness regimes and then spend more time on the treatment bench than actually bowling we introduce this feature to celebrate their manifold complaints. Feel free to submit anything you notice
Ben Stokes requires surgery on a torn left hamstring and has been ruled out of all cricket for at least three months. It is the second time Stokes has torn his left hamstring this year, having sustained the same injury while playing in The Hundred in August. England said Durham all-rounder Stokes will have surgery in January.
Barnet Matters
It was immediately apparent that Santa had visited St James Park over Christmas and left fresh supplies of hair dye in the dressing room. On Boxing Day Bruno Guimares and Joelinton were both sporting white tops whereas Antony Gordon had a more subtle, but quite horrible, yellowy cream tint. There must also have been a stocking full in the away dressing room as their Colombian Jhon Duran also briefly displayed a white top until he opted for a red card by stomping Fabian Schar in the back whilst he was on the ground.
Kalvin Phillips (remember him?) extraordinarily made 31 appearances for England before his move to Pep City and has now made his way to Ipswich where he puts it about as one of their thug squad. His head is shaved all round up to the crown on which he has tight corn rows and dangling from the back is a bunch of thin dreadlocks. This looks absolutely ludicrous on a football pitch, but one wonders what sort of social group he mixes in away from the game and what they make of it?
Googlies Website
All the back editions of Googlies can be found on the G&C website. There are also many photographs most of which have never appeared in Googlies.
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